# It's just me



## aldra (Jul 2, 2009)

Well I don't need any advice
I don't need you to tell me I'm mad, crazy or out of my mind 
But now ihavetwo grandkids living here, plus a dog

So he's sweet and sure he'll be an advantage to the hound from hell, I hope 
But he will be an advantatage to his owner our grandkid because he is part of him

But I'm really getting old, the joints are not so good

So when did it happen that we are responsible for them?

Must have been something in the  past, when we were young
And now we are old

But there you go

They have chosen to live here 
So maybe we are not as old as we thought , the bodies are not good 

But the spirits are

And we will still give them a run for their money

Well maybe not as no money seems to be forthcoming

So are they keeping us young?

Or hasting our demise?

Whichever it seems we are stuck with them

Sandra


----------



## patp (Apr 30, 2007)

It must be you charisma Sandra!


I do hope they are pulling their weight?


It was quite common in years gone by for children to go live with their grandparents. My dad moved a few doors down to live with his gran. There were nine of them at home, eight boys and one girl. He kept an eye on his gran and she gave him some individual attention. 


In these days of smaller families that inclusion of gran and granddad into the extended family does not occur so often.


As long as your house rules are met and you get plenty of respite it might be a good thing?


----------



## suedew (May 10, 2005)

Sandra you are a glutton for punishment, but you ove them really. 
Don't take any stick and get them to do the heavy stuff.
Not had much internet for last 7 weeks, hear it is good news for Albert, therefore for you too.
Sue


----------



## aldra (Jul 2, 2009)

The charisma vanished long ago

And I seem to be fighting a losing battle

Their presence is everywhere as is their dirty washing 
Every night homework

Feeding the TWO hounds, but he is so lovely(I digress)

Bleary eyed I make the school sandwiches , set out his breakfast whilst he blow dries his hair 

Dressed in a spotless white shirt and uniform 

She drifts around announcing how much study she needs to do, howshe needs to work at her part time job, and her voluntary work at citizans advise

And meetings with friends, and how she has been dying with a cold and chest infection

And grandma you only seem concerned with the masses of clothes scattered around my newly decorated room, and the new bed coming on Monday will only need making up, and I can't because I'm working at citizans advise and anyway im not well and I'm only going out to a bonfire night to get some air 

I hope it all counts towards getting into heaven, if such a place exists

Because it's a touch of hell here>>:grin2::grin2:

Sandra:smile2:


----------



## patp (Apr 30, 2007)

Tough love Sandra. That is what you need. No dinner on the table until clothes all sorted. No packed lunch handed over until beds all made. 


I am sure you have done it all before but you are juts too tired to get into a battle with them now. Enlist some help from somewhere. Withholding dinner, until chores done, should not take too much energy?


Sit them down and explain how weary you are. You probably seem invincible to them. You need to tell them otherwise.


----------



## aldra (Jul 2, 2009)

I won't change

I'm anal about the house the washing etc

So I'll continue washing, folding, cooking etc

And I only really want her to sort out her room so we agree where I'll put her clean washing in a huge wardrobe, shelves etc

I don't change beds , my cleaner, my friend , does that, and has for the past 8 years 

And young Albert , well mornings won't change, his hair is his focus, he needs to look and feel good

And it needs time, and I'm here to sort out the boring things like breakfast, sandwiches, crisps , water 

Check his bag and see him off to school, which he's not that keen on 

And Alberts here to help him organise his homework and reassure him he's doing well

And his mum , a single mum ,is weary and hasn't the time to do the things he needs because she needs to work, and sometimes she is depressed and struggles

So life goes on and I sometimes think it's the daily routines that make the difference

And Winston, his dog, keeps shadow company and he is such a love, and if he wasn't here he would be alone at home 

And what else would I be doing?

So I think I'm boring to most people

But I'm old and what's more important than bringing our youngsters to adulthood 

Teaching them about life

And learning from them what life means to them

Other than piles of dirty washing, I'll do it in a minute maybe, and just laughing at their sheer joy of living 

Oh yes I remember it well

Sandra


----------



## patp (Apr 30, 2007)

My friend has four teenagers. She works in a school for children with Special Needs. She stands no nonsense from her teenagers. They all make their own breakfast and packed lunch or they get none. Dinner is a family thing and they are each encouraged to make dinner every once in a while. If she makes it then they take turns in clearing up. Chart on the wall as to whose turn it is.
If they give her any grief she withdraws her services. They do not get a lift to school (from her). They have to persuade dad, who goes early, to take them, find a friend or walk.
All washing has to be in laundry room or it does not get done.
All privileges have to be earned.


They are a smashing bunch of kids. All doing well at school. All polite and well mannered. Not perfect but which one of us is.


----------



## aldra (Jul 2, 2009)

I was the same with my six

I too was a working mum

But now I'm a grandma, don't need to work and I haven't raised these kids 

We will no doubt muddle through 

Sandra


----------



## patp (Apr 30, 2007)

I am sure you will muddle through Sandra  Just believe that you are entitled to a little help with your muddling from the young people with all the energy


----------



## aldra (Jul 2, 2009)

Well Megs bed has arrived

A rather nice bed, spring and memory foam

Can we make it up grandma?

Unfortunately not, I haven't bought the bedding yet I said

I like you have just been far too busy to think about your bed :wink2:

However once you sort out your clothes

I think we could go together to buy some bedding 

And you could move into your new room

And grandad will build your desk 

There is more than one way to sort things out>

Sandra


----------



## patp (Apr 30, 2007)

Those kids are so lucky.


----------



## raynipper (Aug 4, 2008)

“There’s a good reason why we get old and die” ............................ kids.
Maybe you are your own worst enemy Sandra.?? But good luck and as others have said make the rules.!!!

Ray.


----------



## aldra (Jul 2, 2009)

It's settling down and working out 
And actually I'm quite enjoying them here 
Yes it's more work but it's a bit of young life around 

And I like cooking and housework

Enjoy making the house look good, arranging flowers 

Even washing and polishing 

I know it's sad

But maybe it's what I do as I get older

The joints are not good but I potter, Polish, light candles, cook

Drink wine 

It's OK

Sandra


----------



## patp (Apr 30, 2007)

As long as you are content Sandra, that is all that matters.


----------



## Pudsey_Bear (Sep 25, 2008)

Easy on the whine  makes you doddery and say daft stuff, Oh just me then > >


----------



## HermanHymer (Dec 5, 2008)

Gosh, Sandra, I hope you still have a bed for the odd itinerant nomad that might pitch up in the summer.. (and I'm not talking about Tuggie!). I'd happily camp out in the moho but not sure Shadow would let me!

I was born to give advice, but I'll keep it short and sensible... only do what you enjoy, want to do and can do... and make sure you train them to be people some other person will want to love and live with! Don't know if a great example of the meaning of love and giving... as you are... will on its own do the trick.

How many of us know (or married) people who think that others were put on this earth to grease their path through life???

But it's your life to do with as you see fit.... ENJOY!!!

PS Seeing pic of your fireplace brought back happy memories.


----------



## aldra (Jul 2, 2009)

No problem Viv

Always have room for you love 

And for Tuggy 

I no longer see my job as training the grandkids ,I've had enough Input in their lives up to this moment so I guess I'm to blame for some of their faults !!!

Megs is in her room and loves it, Alberts just finishing her oak desk he's made, whether she loves it enough to keep it tidy is another thing, but it's organised so I can easily put her clean clothes away without effort , and my cleaner will change the bed ,Hoover and polish as long as some semblance of order remains :grin2:

I know she should do her own washing but I also have routines I don't want disrupting with other people's wet clothes , one day she will have her own home and washing machine and I guess she'll wash.

Young Albert just needs a routine he can fit into and Winston the pup just needs,full stop > >

I don't recommend my life to others, I'm too family orientated and I know it 

I should get out more, drink less wine and one day I will 00

Meanwhile we have six kids and their families who are never far away, enough people with different opinions to discuss, agree ,disagree, and argue with

And that's only the grandkids :surprise:

And as you know our older grandkids arrive with friends an get into serious discussions 

On how and why they see life the way they do 

Alex (19) describes us as not normal, youre old, but still young

So I'm never lonely

And although some days I want to stop the world and get off

I think I'll settle for what I've got for the moment

Sandra:grin2:


----------



## aldra (Jul 2, 2009)

That bed is just too comfortable 

She rarely gets out of it :grin2:

I'm a bit tired, up early, the washing machine rarely stops

But hey I have things to do, people to see off to school ,sandwiches to make

Meals to cook

Dogs to sort

I haven't time to die

And in between I have two people to argue with

Now these two really do know they are completely right in everything !!

You lot ( sorry Drew ) 

Haven't a look in when it comes to be completely and unequivabily right

So I'm learning , 73 years

How wrong could I have been ?.

And the others pop in for dinner to tell me where I'm failing to understand this world 

"Although you do cook a good bacon and egg sandwich Grandma"

Sandra


----------



## aldra (Jul 2, 2009)

Well problems arise

The grandson wants the freedom to go out and return at 10 or 10 .30

He hates homework 

His friends are allowed

No chance, you are not , we said

So he's gone home

Because his mum is weary trying to control him and he'll stay out

For a couple of days, because we are also tired and debating the way forward 

Before we reign him in 

But hey 6 kids , 10 grandkids and one of the ten is proving to be a problem

We have been lucky thus far

Sandra


----------



## patp (Apr 30, 2007)

While he as gone, why not check up what his mates parents think? They might all be having the same discussion. A friend of mine did this and the parents all agreed to host a late night get together in turn. No input other than providing the venue so that they are safe. You could go and sit in the van for some peace


----------



## aldra (Jul 2, 2009)

No

That's not what he wants, he wants to run free every night without worrying about homework

So he goes to judo Tuesday, boxing Thursday when he is here £10 which we pay 

Out with friends Friday and Saturday when he goes home 

Sunday we've said 9 o'clock , after he has done an hours homework , from four till five 

He's here tonight to collect the pup which we look after mon to fri as he was here , and otherwise would be alone all day , can't afford Judo tonight but I said I have no reason to keep up my side of the bargain if you won't keep up yours 

You get an allowance which you've chosen to put onto buying an I phone 

Hard but that's life

Saturday he has a paid job here 9-4 , the first time you don't turn up, or are consistently late you are fired 

Just like you would be in the real world 

So if you want designer clothes then you work for them 

Your mum can't afford them, and I am not giving them to you

( although I slip in the odd thing and often go halves )

So maybe just maybe he will begin to take responsibility 

Goodness knows he doesn't when it comes to school

Although Albert didn't , he left private school with nothing, hated it 

And then later went on to do a degree in education and a MSC 

So who knows 

Sandra


----------

