# wow, how times have changed



## aldra (Jul 2, 2009)

Or maybe how we have changed 

I remember refusing our daughters from sharing a bedroom in our house with boy friends when visiting 

A phone call from our grandson, it’s our 2 anniversary of going out together

I’ve tried to book a hotel can’t find one, and mum is still ill 

Could we use the van?

We’ve just drained it, stripped the beds

But he will make them up in the morning, bring the flowers, order a takeaway, 

We will put back the water, switch on the heating, it’s always on electric hookup , he’ll link his phone to a lap top to watch a film 

what they will have time to watch a film>?

What do you think, a red light and we could rent out the van?

It’s doing bugger all else

Sandra


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## Glandwr (Jun 12, 2006)

Move with the times Sandra. LOTS of things have changed for the better.:smile2: Some haven't but THEY are the ones who make the rules now!


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## Penquin (Oct 15, 2007)

Nice thoughts to help them in these troubled times and you know that grandchildren will always be given the fruit from the top of the tree if you can.

I am sure that you will carry out the required work with a happy heart that you CAN do something for him and that you will be pleased that he asked.

Enjoy your labours and the pleasure the chance will bring to all of involved. 😀


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## Webby1 (Mar 11, 2012)

Using the motorhome with a red light is a popular option in Bois de Bologne in Paris and no doubt many other places...........probably not in Bury.

But it made me think of another example of times changing..............the comment about older people used to be that "they do not know how to operate the video recorder"

Now the world has moved on so much and is so digital that I can comment that young people "do not know how to operate a video recorder" or even know what it is.

To them a video cassette must be like one of those brick sized mobile phones.


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## aldra (Jul 2, 2009)

Yep I have

It’s a long time since sex before marriage was frowned on 

For me that was a lucky gamble , it’s lasted 56 yrs tomorrow 

But who knows how much I missed :wink2:

But I don’t judge the passage of time, is it better or worse ?

I don’t judge my grandkids in the way I once judged my kids 

And maybe as my kids still surround me I didn't judge them so harshly 

Or maybe all six were forgiving of my mistakes 

But We never allow our grandkids anything their parents wouldn’t allow 

Except We claim the right to spoil them, to a personal relationship with each and everyone

Which is why I guess the older ones phone their grandad most days to talk to us 

There is life in the old dogs yet >:wink2:

Sandra


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## aldra (Jul 2, 2009)

Webby1 said:


> Using the motorhome with a red light is a popular option in Bois de Bologne in Paris and no doubt many other places...........probably not in Bury.
> 
> But it made me think of another example of times changing..............the comment about older people used to be that "they do not know how to operate the video recorder"
> 
> ...


I haven't a clue what you are talking about webby

sDave thanked you so maybe he does

You didn't think I was serious about a red light , and how do you know it wouldn't be popular in Bury ?

Red lights are popular regardless of creed or religion ....unfortunately

Sandra


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## Penquin (Oct 15, 2007)

We have red lights in our Christmas lights, so what's wrong with that colour ?

Admittedly, we now prefer the cleanliness of simple white lights, but I do not want to upset anyone - it's just that I haven't seen black lights so cannot be BLM conscious over the lights (if we bother to put any up).


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## Webby1 (Mar 11, 2012)

Why on earth do some people feel the need to comment on creed,religion,black lights and BLM in response to what I thought 
was a rather fun thread about changing times


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## aldra (Jul 2, 2009)

Was it?

It wasn’t to be a fun thread

Rather a thread about changing values. 

Should values change, should we move with the times?

If we don’t will our grandkids understand ?

Are they right in this modern world

Was I right never to have had sex with another only with the one I married ?

So many questions we ask ourselves

Sandra


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## JanHank (Mar 29, 2015)

Never waited until Christmas for red lights in this house, it´s such a lovely warm light.


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## dghr272 (Jun 14, 2012)

It’s their world now, we’ve had our day and have lived with the consequences of our actions, they need to follow what they think works for them and like us, live with the consequences of their actions.

Although in my house our rules apply.

Hope this is serious enough.

Terry


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## aldra (Jul 2, 2009)

Serious

Probably 

I guess it depends on how old the grandkids are, how they live their lives 

For us it was also our house our rules

But those kids are well grown up now

It’s the next generation, new values, new expectations 

And of course we are free to say our values our rules 

But are they still relevant ?

Sandra


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## raynipper (Aug 4, 2008)

dghr272 said:


> It's their world now, we've had our day and have lived with the consequences of our actions, they need to follow what they think works for them and like us, live with the consequences of their actions.
> Although in my house our rules apply.
> Hope this is serious enough. Terry


Yes Terry. But when I see students riot and break down barriers erected to keep them apart because of the covid virus, I just wonder how intelligent todays young are.

Ray.


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## dghr272 (Jun 14, 2012)

raynipper said:


> dghr272 said:
> 
> 
> > It's their world now, we've had our day and have lived with the consequences of our actions, they need to follow what they think works for them and like us, live with the consequences of their actions.
> ...


Agree completely.

But I recall our elders despaired about the direct our youth movement was going, although the I suspect we were conditioned to take heed and respect our elders, something that is sadly lacking in many of today's youth.

Terry


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## aldra (Jul 2, 2009)

Do you really believe that, that kids of today have no respect for their elders?

As far back as Roman times they were despairing of their young 

Times and norms change not always for the worse and so often for the better

Some of societies old values were horrific 

Living together in common law marriage is often the norm now, divorce is no longer frowned upon, women can even divorce men!!

I recon our young are ok, often in spite of us but hopefully also because of us

Sandra


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## raynipper (Aug 4, 2008)

But with Farcebook and TikTok surely they can grasp the seriousness of their irresponsible actions?
The world is smaller and information is at our fingertips. Be it true or false doing a party with a virulent killer virus amongst us is just plain stupid. 

Ray.


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## patp (Apr 30, 2007)

I think Facebook and Tik Tok keep the young from information rather than inform them. How many of them keep up to date with news and current affairs? They might know who has sold a million records or who is dating who but ask them what is going on around the world or even in their own country and you get blank looks. It was ever thus. I can remember not bothering with current affairs until I was a mother. It all becomes very important then.


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## JanHank (Mar 29, 2015)

Every friend I have on facebook has a post at least once a week about wearing a face mask, washing hands etc. and they are all handed down from their friends so I think there´s quite a coverage on facebook.


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## dghr272 (Jun 14, 2012)

aldra said:


> Do you really believe that, that kids of today have no respect for their elders?
> 
> As far back as Roman times they were despairing of their young
> 
> ...


If you read my post I deliberately said, "many" not ALL.

Terry


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## aldra (Jul 2, 2009)

Sorry, change my first line to

Do you really believe that, that many kids of today have no respect for their elders ?

Sandra :grin2:


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## dghr272 (Jun 14, 2012)

aldra said:


> Sorry, change my first line to
> 
> Do you really believe that, that many kids of today have no respect for their elders ?
> 
> Sandra :grin2:


Yep, I'm not in the habit of posting stuff I don't mean.

Terry


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## aldra (Jul 2, 2009)

So you think I am ?

Actually I think today’s kids are great

So that may mean I have 14 grandkids, and their friends 

But I’m not going to argue with you

Maybe your experience is different and kids you know fit your expectations

Your grandkids maybe?

Well mine don’t an neither do their friends 

And in this world of ours I’m a bit stuck on those I know 

It’s a long time since I met face to face with kids

But I’m pretty sure they are OK 

Sandra


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## dghr272 (Jun 14, 2012)

aldra said:


> So you think I am ?
> 
> Actually I think today's kids are great
> 
> ...


I never mentioned my grandkids and never mentioned yours.

How dare you.

You really are a vindictive piece of work.

Terry


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## aldra (Jul 2, 2009)

Ive mentioned mine

What is bothering you?

Vindictive, what on earth are you talking about

You don’t include your grandkids just other peoples ?

I never meant to upset you, I really can’t understand why I have

So other kids disrespect their elders

Mine possibly 

But not yours

Well I can’t answer that, but vindictive?

WOOAH

SANDRA


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## aldra (Jul 2, 2009)

Well they had a lovely evening and day according to them

Except they never found the light switch for the main area :nerd:

We left them £20 and a bottle of cola on the bike shed to offset the huge box of chocolates they bought for our anniversary , towards their take away

And bacon butties for their breakfast, delete that for dinner:grin2:

I’m not judging them by my values, I don’t even know what my values are anymore

Were they just values imposed on us by the era I lived in ?

My kids who seem to know everything that goes on , on the grapevine , are amused ,we would never have allowed them to do that they say

Amused but not surprised 

Times have changed, my kids went off to university and who knows what they got up to

Who knows what I would have got up to if I’d been just that bit freer from the restraints of convention 

Anyway they had a lovely weekend celebrating their “ second anniversary “ of being together

Next time they can put on the lights:grin2::grin2:

Sandra


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## Penquin (Oct 15, 2007)

aldra said:


> Next time they can put on the lights:grin2::grin2:
> 
> Sandra


Spoilsport, they were saving the battery and besides, you have five senses, sight is only one of them - the others can stretch your knowledge markedly..... >. >.


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## aldra (Jul 2, 2009)

Well I bow to your experience 

And Lesleys >::wink2::grin2:

My memory is short:crying:

No doubt my grandson would agree with you

I doubt he needed lights for the most part

But we have soft lights around the van, he was sad he didn’t find those 

They are romantic, I talk from memory :wink2:

Sandra


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## aldra (Jul 2, 2009)

Well it’s booked again this weekend >

And not a red light in sight :wink2:

They obviously enjoyed their private weekend together

His mum is still not fully recovered from Covid, she suffers from asthma so still feels under the weather

And as I say it’s not for me to judge, his mum, my daughter is ok with it

His girlfriends mum and dad I presume are ok with it 

They don’t need to book and pay for a hotel room, if in fact they could during this Covid lockdown 

We didn’t strip the bed although he offered to, as I said leave it we will give it a week or so then strip it when the risk of infection , if there is any , is gone before I bring it into the house for washing 

So strange in these Covid times to be shielding from your own grandchild 

The only problem I have is should they be becoming so seriously involved at 19?

Says she who married at 20, 56 yrs ago, and I didn’t even meet him till I was 19

Sandra


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## patp (Apr 30, 2007)

I always think that relationships are speeded up these days by the fact that people have sex so early on. Years ago courting took ages before marriage ensued because the couple had to find out all about each other from the courting process. Nowadays, within a few "dates" they know so much more about each other than many people did in days gone by. Mind you the sneaking around that went on in my day did add a certain frisson!


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## aldra (Jul 2, 2009)

They’ve been together for 2 yrs already

I guess with job uncertainty and low incomes young couples can’t afford to get married and buy a house 

We at least could get a mortgage for a lowish deposit, it’s taking years of savings just to raise the deposit for a home 

Renting is also expensive, we need more council rented homes for our young, affordable to give young people a start 

But as I say I hope they don’t rush into anything permanent 

Sandra


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## patp (Apr 30, 2007)

I'm sure they will thank you further on down the line for either allowing them to confirm their feelings for each other or confirming the opposite. As we all know it is not until you live with someone that you truly get to know them.


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## dghr272 (Jun 14, 2012)

patp said:


> I'm sure they will thank you further on down the line for either allowing them to confirm their feelings for each other or confirming the opposite. As we all know it is not until you live with someone that you truly get to know them.


That's for sure, snore snore snort. :grin2:

Terry


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## aldra (Jul 2, 2009)

I trust that’s you Terry and not the wife >

Alberts put on weight during lockdown and has started to snore and snort once again, I end up reading 

I doubt they will thank me Pat, they have been sleeping together for some time now, just not in my house or van

I suspect for the most part it was ever thus, just in our day it was never made public, although they do say the swinging sixties :grin2:

Sandra


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## dghr272 (Jun 14, 2012)

aldra said:


> I trust that's you Terry and not the wife /images/MotorhomeFacts_2014/smilies/tango_face_devil.png
> 
> Alberts put on weight during lockdown and has started to snore and snort once again, I end up reading
> 
> ...


Well now, it was, but my weight loss has had a good effect and reduced my snoring but it has also miraculously fine tuned my hearing, it appears the snoring seems to be coming from the other side of the bed. There was of course firm denials but a recording on my iPad convicted the perpetrator, guilty as charged. :- D

Terry


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## aldra (Jul 2, 2009)

Cruel, Terry

I doubt her decibels are the same as yours were , Albert could smash Crystal 

The other problem is alberts heavy breathing

In minutes he’s asleep and breathing heavy and fast

It signals emergency and I can’t relax and I can’t match the speed of his breathing to mine

It signals anxiety and I’m tense, so I read a book and ignore him

When he gets up I catch an extra hour or two

We could sleep in separate bedrooms, but 56 yrs is a long ,long time together 

Sandra


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## dghr272 (Jun 14, 2012)

aldra said:


> Cruel, Terry
> 
> I doubt her decibels are the same as yours were , Albert could smash Crystal
> 
> ...


Tempted to post the soundtrack but I'll not embarrass her, and I bruise easily due to my stroke meds. :- (

Terry


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## aldra (Jul 2, 2009)

Good, so you should

Albert says he’s full of bruises due to my elbow

Exaggerating as usual

He’s lucky I don’t beat him to death from sleep deprivation 

That would bring to an end 56 years of marriage,

You see how tolerant I am ? :grin2::wink2:

Sandra


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## aldra (Jul 2, 2009)

Our son in law has spent the day here cutting ivy

He recently lost his job but has found a temporary one with NHS

He’s always helped with the high ivy on the gable

We are more than happy to pay we said but he would not hear of it

Fine we said we will pay someone else to do it, if we can find someone 

He’s a grafter and Albert is grateful to have worked with along side of him 

They got far , next week they will finish, it’s a big house

His daughter has decided to go to Holy Cross college and not to her private grammar school 6 th form 

He says she wants to come to her grandma for dinner each day

Now we haven’t had such close contact with her, but have with her sister, our Megs

It will be delightful to grow a relationship with this grandchild 

And I’ll happily provide her dinner in return for her take on life

Without them I’d no nothing about our young

And young Albert is ensconced in the van and can put on the lights, the soft romantic ones, their choice, their life

Do I know better ?

I hope for them a lifetime of love, a risky business is this lifetime of love, it’s about joy, sadness, disappointment, commitment

But it’s possible 

Sandra


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## aldra (Jul 2, 2009)

Our grandkid has had a lovely time in the van with his girlfriend 

We’ve talked a bit about about our grandchild coming for meals if she goes to Holly Cross, him with a mask

Of course she will he said

They are all a bit jealous of the originals 

So she maybe will become one of the originals, the way her sister is

You don’t know how important you are to us

So we are important 

But closeness develops relationship, need develops relationship, it all comes down to proximity 

And if she’s anything like her sister, which she is,I will love her to bits, and she will annoy me to bits 

And I will spoil her to bits

So we will see what happens, if it happens

But I am surprised that she wants to come for dinner each day

Sandra


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## patp (Apr 30, 2007)

My dad moved in with his Grandma when he was young. We never did know why really. He was from a large family and his father was often absent. They owned two shops. One was a newsagent that his mother ran and one was a bike shop that his grandmother lived over. I must have a google to see if anything comes up about the shops.

I did a bit more on my family history the other day. My mum's sister is still alive and she was doing their side until she had a scare over a scam and gave up her computer. I had a look at her dad, my grandad, to see about his war service. He had two fingers missing and my brother tells me that it was not uncommon for soldiers to shoot their fingers off to escape the conflict. I did find that he served but no info on him being invalided out.

I also found a sad life. He was fostered out, along with his older brother, to a childrens' home when he was four years old. Another older brother was living as a "visitor" with another family. A young sister died of measles convulsions. Her twin brother was sent to the childrens' home too. His father died, when he was 4, in Pentonville Prison of jaundice. His grandma, who may have been a help when his father died, was killed when she was run over by a handsom cab. When his older brother left the childrens home he joined the army and went to war only to be killed at Gallipoli. He, apparently, never spoke of the tragedy, or of his early life. He married and went on to raise a large family never turning anyone in need away from his door.


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## aldra (Jul 2, 2009)

I sometimes wonder should I try to discover my family history 

But I don’t really know how to

I’ve been so long without any family, do I have some?

Do I want some ? does this once child who spent her childhood in children’s homes, often deeply unhappy 

Want to find out why ?

Or is the fact she married a great guy, has now a close loving family enough 

It’s more than many have already 

And the grandkids, well we won’t even go there 

I’m surrounded by love, so maybe that’s enough

Although a bit of me wonders

Sandra


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