# sad news from flooding..........Jokes and Trivia!



## 100836

A major flood hit on Monday evening 



Epicentre: Rotherham, England. 



News of the disaster was swiftly carried abroad by the town's 35,000 

racing pigeons, as victims were seen wandering around aimlessly muttering

"fookinhell" and "chuffinnorah". 



The flood decimated the town, causing £30 worth of damage. Several 

priceless collections of mementos from the Balearic Isles and the Spanish

Costa's were damaged beyond repair. Three areas of historical burnt out cars

were disturbed. 



Many locals were woken well before their Giro arrived. Radio station 

RotherFM reported that hundreds of residents were confused and bewildered,

still trying to come to terms with the fact that something interesting had

happened in Rotherham. One resident, 15 year old mother of 3, Tracy Sharon

Braithwaite said: "It was such a shock, my little Chardonnay-Madonna came

running into my bedroom crying. The twins, Tyler-Morgan and Megan-Storm

slept through it all. I was still shaking when I was watching Kilroy the

next morning". Locals were determined not to be bowed, as looting, muggings

and car crime carried on as normal. 



So far, whilst the British Red Cross has managed to ship 4000 crates of 

Sunny Delight to the area to relieve the suffering of stricken locals, 

rescue workers searching through the rubble have found large quantities of

personal belongings including, benefit books, jewellery from Elizabeth Duke

at Argos, and bone china from Pound-stretcher. 



Can You Help? 



Please respond generously to our appeal for food and clothing for the 

victims of this disaster. 



Clothing is needed most of all, especially: 

· Fila or Burberry baseball caps 

· Kappa tracksuit tops (his or hers) 

· Shell suits (female) 

· White sports socks 

· Rockfort boots or any other product sold in Primark 





Culturally sensitive food parcels are harder to put together, but your 

efforts will make a difference. 



Microwave meals, tinned baked beans, ice-cream and cans of Colt 45 or

Special Brew are ideal. 





Please do not give anything that requires peeling. 



Remember: 

· 22p buys a biro for filling in compensation claims 

· £2 buys chips, crisps and a blue fizzy drink for a family of 9 

· £5 will pay for a packet of B&H and a lighter to calm a child's nerves 



Urgently required: Tinned whippet food. Bones for Jack Russells 



Please do not send tents for shelter. The sight of such posh housing will 

cause residents to beleive they have been forcebly relocated to Sheffield.


----------



## Spacerunner

Will my old flat cap and neck scarf be acceptable?


----------



## 100836

Spacerunner said:


> Will my old flat cap and neck scarf be acceptable?


only if it is a named brand i suspect! :wink:


----------



## RichardnGill




----------



## RainDancer

Hello 
HughJardon 

I have read you posting 3 times I am still not sure if you are taking the mickey or what. Did you get flooded waist deep some people in my village did and their properties have to be demolished. P.s. No puns about my name.


----------



## 100836

RainDancer said:


> Hello
> HughJardon
> 
> I have read you posting 3 times I am still not sure if you are taking the mickey or what. Did you get flooded waist deep some people in my village did and their properties have to be demolished. P.s. No puns about my name.


i am told it is a true story! :wink:


----------



## johng1974

ooh noo..


where's my umbrella..


----------



## RainDancer

Hello again 
HughJardon 

True story what a load of rubbish. In my opinion you have posted this in very bad taste. Why not get your self to Rotherham and have a look at the devastation and maybe you will realise what a load of C##P you have written.


----------



## LC1962

Perhaps this would have been better posted in the J&T section....

I admit to chuckling at it but then I was fortunate enough to have escaped the flooding, maybe one of the mods will move it to the appropriate forum :wink:


----------



## 100836

RainDancer said:


> Hello again
> HughJardon
> 
> True story what a load of rubbish. In my opinion you have posted this in very bad taste. Why not get your self to Rotherham and have a look at the devastation and maybe you will realise what a load of C##P you have written.


so its not true? must be a joke then!!! 8O

it is not intended to cause offense, just a little amusement during this awful weather. :wink:


----------



## ianhibs

Never been to Rotherham but am now anxious to visit. Perhaps we could have a rally there. If so, I will find out if my giro could be forwarded there.

Nice one!!!  
Ian


----------



## RainDancer

Sick sense of humour. I don't think you would have written it if you had been flooded.


----------



## Rapide561

*Floods*

Hi

A very similar one was circulating a few years ago about a wind/tornado thing in Birmingham, and a mild earth quake in Barnsley.

It is funny in the right context, but I must say some of those folk in South Yorkhire have lost everything. Many were not insured. (I know - that is their decision)

Russell


----------



## 100836

RainDancer said:


> Sick sense of humour. I don't think you would have written it if you had been flooded.


you are probably right.........broadband would have been down! 8O


----------



## johng1974

HUGH! :roll:


----------



## tokkalosh

I was not particularly impressed by it but each to their own.
Lets not make a big fuss about it 

Just my opinion


----------



## johng1974

As Russel says, it's a generic post that gets used for various towns.. Crawley had it recently for being in the news for something...

pinch of salt eh?


----------



## 100836

*Re: Floods*



Rapide561 said:


> It is funny in the right context, but I must say some of those folk in South Yorkhire have lost everything. Many were not insured. (I know - that is their decision)
> 
> Russell


I totally agree with your sentiment, i would not wish anyone to be flooded and lose everything.


----------



## RainDancer

Hi

How many of the posters on this thread have been flooded , NOT MANY I assume. I know it's a joke but how would you feel if you was a member of MHF and lived in Rotherham and other members where having a laugh.


----------



## 100836

RainDancer said:


> Hi
> 
> How many of the posters on this thread have been flooded , NOT MANY I assume. I know it's a joke but how would you feel if you was a member of MHF and lived in Rotherham and other members where having a laugh.


Ok call off the whippets! Not been flooded but do have a sense of humour....

did you see the ebay thread? :wink:


----------



## gromett

I didn't find it funny, but can see how if I wasn't from the area it could be.
Thought it was a bit insensitive to post on a site with national coverage where people who have been affected can view it.

Think this is one for the pubs, PM'ing, emailing or SMS'ing to friends who you know would find it funny.

I have just been to my friends Dave whos house was flooded with sewage. All his belongings downstairs are gone, The floorboards, skirting boards and plaster up to 4 foot have to be removed. The house stinks and this is only 1 year after he has retired. Its not a funny subject for those affected.

Can a Mod move this to the jokes section where it is more suited please?

Karl


----------



## peejay

Hi Huge;

If its any consolation, it was quite amusing but timing probably isn't your strong point :roll:

Having said that, a lot of funny jokes are often made because of someones misfortunes, its just not amusing if you're the one who has had that misfortune.


pete


----------



## maddie

Hi all this is my first viewing of this post and I felt the need to reply as I am from a ROTHERHAM address though just off main Barnsley / Doncaster road.The village I live in suffered 12 houses flooded and a 40 plus old folks home evacuated under 3 ft of water which is still empty.May I point out no rivers in the village just rain. The village was cut off by flooding fields the likes i have never seen in 50 years know 1 person(24) is still at his mothers house(our friend) with a wife and 2 kids unable to go back home yet, and no insurance,as they only moved in 3 weeks previous.I and THEY know that they should have insurance but with all the move and decorating,carpets expense they could not afford the premium just then, and indeed lost everything.I printed this off and showed him it, just to let you know he found it amusing and he will bounce back.Our village was lucky but the surrounding ones were not,and I have no doubt many more could not afford insuance. Think yourselfs lucky you don't live in an affected area,these people will suffer for many months.Buy the way a caravan storage with above 200 motorhomes and caravans floating away uder 6 ft of water is only about 4 miles away,I wonder how many of us m/h owners would find that amusing if yours was in storage there?
I was pi--edoff because my apple tree fell over / but have replanted it :lol: :wink: 
terry


----------



## 95633

What a perfect example of Political Correctness gone OTT.

It was a JOKE !!!

It wasn't aimed as a personal insult to any one particular person or group - it was aimed at a "perceived" view of a certain place.

The joke has been going for a couple of years to my knowledge and it is ALWAYS a different place (well OK perhaps Liverpool has got it a few times more than others ).

If you dont like the post then dont bother to reply - you moaners don't realise that every time you knock it the post goes back to the top of the board and another group of readers will see it.

Don't reply - and if enough people feel the same way - it will sink without trace.

In other words - and with the greatest of respect - loosen up a little.

Paul


----------



## loddy

UK-RV said:


> What a perfect example of Political Correctness gone OTT.
> 
> It was a JOKE !!!
> 
> It wasn't aimed as a personal insult to any one particular person or group - it was aimed at a "perceived" view of a certain place.
> 
> The joke has been going for a couple of years to my knowledge and it is ALWAYS a different place (well OK perhaps Liverpool has got it a few times more than others ).
> 
> If you dont like the post then dont bother to reply - you moaners don't realise that every time you knock it the post goes back to the top of the board and another group of readers will see it.
> 
> Don't reply - and if enough people feel the same way - it will sink without trace.
> 
> In other words - and with the greatest of respect - loosen up a little.
> 
> Paul


Paul
Very sensible reply!!

If they have had a flood in Burnham it would have done 5 million pounds worth of improvements.

Loddy


----------



## 98585

Is it the rain or what? Some of you guys are just so wet. _*It was a joke. *_

One thing about being in real deep **** is that someone will crack a joke about it before your even clear of it. Its in the British make up.

If your that offended go and find a thread on microfibre towels and dry yourselves off


----------



## ksebruce

Agree with you JJ. To laugh at yourself in times of adversity is the British way and can often be the best medicine.


----------



## maddie

hi if you notice i said he found it funny so did i --- never been PC--
terry


----------



## Damchief

maddie said:


> Hi all this is my first viewing of this post and I felt the need to reply as I am from a ROTHERHAM address though just off main Barnsley / Doncaster road.The village I live in suffered 12 houses flooded and a 40 plus old folks home evacuated under 3 ft of water which is still empty.May I point out no rivers in the village just rain. The village was cut off by flooding fields the likes i have never seen in 50 years know 1 person(24) is still at his mothers house(our friend) with a wife and 2 kids unable to go back home yet, and no insurance,as they only moved in 3 weeks previous.I and THEY know that they should have insurance but with all the move and decorating,carpets expense they could not afford the premium just then, and indeed lost everything.I printed this off and showed him it, just to let you know he found it amusing and he will bounce back.Our village was lucky but the surrounding ones were not,and I have no doubt many more could not afford insuance. Think yourselfs lucky you don't live in an affected area,these people will suffer for many months.Buy the way a caravan storage with above 200 motorhomes and caravans floating away uder 6 ft of water is only about 4 miles away,I wonder how many of us m/h owners would find that amusing if yours was in storage there?
> I was pi--edoff because my apple tree fell over / but have replanted it :lol: :wink:
> terry


Well that would be Brampton then would it? Did it flood in the bottom, because I know the Ings were flooded?

I'm from there, my mum is still there, but we're thankfully on a hill in Wakefield these days!

I've found it distressing to see places I've known for a long time in such a mess.

It's quite a funny joke, just maybe misplaced in timing. I lived in Rotherham for 20 odd years; I could be offended, if it wasn't quite close to the truth in some parts!


----------



## maddie

Hi Damchief, Thurnscoe :wink: 
terry


----------



## bikemad99

Could we start a new forum just for people with no sense of humour?


----------



## 98585

bikemad99 said:


> Could we start a new forum just for people with no sense of humour?


Are you joking?


----------



## chrisjrv

Morning Hugh, I think I met one of your school chums today, a chap called Hucker, first name I think was Rudolf,
Regards,
Stickey :wink:


----------



## 100836

stickey said:


> Morning Hugh, I think I met one of your school chums today, a chap called Hucker, first name I think was Rudolf,
> Regards,
> Stickey :wink:


ahhhhhhh yesss old Rudy, we have been chums since i was knee high to a grass hopper.

funny thing is he got divorsed and i married his mrs..........but we are still chums

so Norma is now my mrs ....ha ha.....but she kept her maiden name of Stitz due to her business

its a small old world


----------



## mangothemadmonk

HughJardon said:


> but she kept her maiden name of Stitz


Didn't she have a sister call Gloria?    

Johnny F


----------



## 100836

A lot of people have said they are a great pair when you get them together, always very lively! My best friends for sure :wink:


----------

