# Public announcement for Women



## 88781 (May 9, 2005)

Because I'm a man, when I lock my keys in the car, I will fiddle with a coat hanger long after hypothermia has set in. Calling the AA or RAC is not an option. I will win. 
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Because I'm a man, when the car isn't running very well, I will lift the bonnet and stare at the engine as if I know what I'm looking at. 

If another man shows up, one of us will say to the other, "I used to be able to fix these things, but now with all these computers and everything, I wouldn't know where to start." We will then drink a couple of beers and break wind, as a form of Holy Communion. 
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Because I'm a man, when I catch a cold, I need someone to bring me soup and take care of me while I lie in bed and moan. Women never get as sick as I do, so for them, this is no problem. 
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Because I'm a man, I can be relied upon to purchase basic groceries at the store, like milk or bread. I cannot be expected to find exotic items like "cumin" or "tofu." For all I know, these are the same thing. 
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Because I'm a man, when one of our appliances stops working, I will insist on taking it apart, despite evidence that this will just cost me twice as much once the repair man gets here and has to put it back together. 
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Because I'm a man, I must hold the television remote control in my hand while I watch TV. If the thing has been misplaced, I may miss a whole show looking for it. 
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Because I'm a man, there is no need to ask me what I'm thinking about. The true answer is always either sex, cars, motorcycles, sex, sports or sex or multiples of these. I have to make up something else when you ask, so don't ask. 
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Because I'm a man, I do not want to visit your mother, or have your mother come visit us, or talk to her when she calls, or think about her any more than I have to. Whatever you got her for Mother's Day is okay; I don't need to see it. And don't forget to pick up something for my 
mother, too. 
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Because I'm a man, you don't have to ask me if I liked the movie. Chances are, if you're crying at the end of it, I didn't... and if you are feeling amorous afterwards... then I will certainly at least remember the name and recommend it to others. 
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Because I'm a man, I think what you're wearing is fine. I thought what you were wearing five minutes ago was fine, too. Either pair of shoes is fine. With the belt or without it, looks fine. Your hair is fine. You look fine. Can we just go now? 
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Because I'm a man, and this is, after all, the year 2007, I will share equally in the housework. You just do the laundry, the cooking, the cleaning, the vacuuming, and the dishes, and I'll do the rest... like wandering around in the garden with a beer wondering what to do. 
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## wakk44 (Jun 15, 2006)

Hi,
You've forgotten the one that drives me crazy and is the reason we now have sat nav.

Because I'm a man, if I am totally lost I must drive around every back street for hours rather than ask for directions and admit that I'm not perfect. :roll: 

Sharon


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## artona (Jan 19, 2006)

Hi

This sort of thing is just so pre 21st century. Today we are all equal in our thoughts and beliefs - arn't we. 

I even read on a thread the other day that it was the women who decided on having an RV and the man, who was obviously only wearing a token pair of trousers meekily agreed. :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: 


stew


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## wakk44 (Jun 15, 2006)

Stew,

My mum used to tell me that women who want equality with men have no ambition in life :lol:

Sharon


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## tokkalosh (May 25, 2006)

wakk44 said:


> My mum used to tell me that women who want equality with men have no ambition in life :lol:


Now that I do like :lol: :lol:

Yours were very good too MandayandDave :wink:


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## vardy (Sep 1, 2006)

- I condemn any woman's desire for equality with man - We've been SUPERIOR for years!!!!


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## artona (Jan 19, 2006)

Hi Sharon

me too, excellant. 

For years women were content to let the men "think" they were the best at everything and so they obviously allowed us to do everything. Its much easier now men have learnt a thing or two from you women. 

I can tell you I just can't get my head around emptying the loo in the motorhome :lol: :lol: :lol: 


stew


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## vardy (Sep 1, 2006)

- He has just told me to switch off the PC.


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## artona (Jan 19, 2006)

Hi

Do you how to or do you need him to do it for you :? :? :? :lol: :lol: 


stew


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## vardy (Sep 1, 2006)

-I tried that one with cleaning out the drain. - It didn't work!


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## artona (Jan 19, 2006)

HI Helena

nice to see you do not do as you are told either 


stew


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## vardy (Sep 1, 2006)

- Not on this subject - but isn't that Jessica getting big! - And even prettier!!!


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## artona (Jan 19, 2006)

Hi

Thanks, she is. Have you noticed her hair, reminds me a little of someone.


stew


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## vardy (Sep 1, 2006)

- Ahh! - but mine needs a little help from Auntie Clairol these days! By the way, I'm going to keep the Jessica name on my van, but it's in small letters. I fancied (you can put owt on an old van) putting username in bigger letters -or whatever happened to those silver MHF . com address jobbies that got a flash on here?


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