# Thoughts on pain (no connection with MH'ing!)



## alhod (Nov 1, 2010)

I mowed the lawn today, and afterwards sat down and had a cold beer. The day was quite beautiful and the drink facilitated some deep thinking on various topics.

Finally I thought about an age old question: Is giving birth more painful than getting kicked in the n**s?

Women always maintain that giving birth is more painful than a guy getting kicked in the n**s.
Well, after another beer and some more thinking, I came up with the answer. Getting kicked in the n**s is way more painful than having a baby; and here's why.
A year or so after giving birth, a woman will often say, "It might be nice to have another child."
On the other hand, you never hear a guy say, "You know, I think I'd like another kick in the n**s."

Case closed, time for another beer. And more thinking!

:wink:


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## rogerblack (May 1, 2005)

Funnily enough, I was just 'pondering' earlier this morning:

can giving birth possibly be more painful than stepping barefoot on a 13 amp plug with pins up'ard?!

The air was certainly bluer than it was when my wife gave birth to our lovely daughter . . .

:eeeeek: :cwm21:


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## 747 (Oct 2, 2009)

Is childbirth more painful than reversing your motorhome into the wall of your house?

Alhod, you don't know the meaning of 'blue language' compared to what the whole street heard this morning. 8O 

Ironically, I had just returned from a motorhome repair specialist to have some work priced. He now has a bit more.  At this rate, he will have to take on extra staff to deal with me. :?


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## alhod (Nov 1, 2010)

747 said:


> Is childbirth more painful than reversing your motorhome into the wall of your house?
> 
> Alhod, you don't know the meaning of 'blue language' compared to what the whole street heard this morning. 8O
> 
> Ironically, I had just returned from a motorhome repair specialist to have some work priced. He now has a bit more.  At this rate, he will have to take on extra staff to deal with me. :?


I was very happy with the reversing camera on our previous van as it had that clever arrangement which shows a frame and your exact position relative to anything behind, so almost impossible to touch obstacles. 
On the new one the reverse camera only shows a screen picture with no idiot proofing so even with that I find myself having to be careful of the scale in the picture!

You have my sympathy - it's the sort of thing which can happen to any of us!

Alan


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## motormouth (Jul 3, 2010)

Whilst you are having these thoughts, can you please come up with an explanation for this-

My wife and I went to our local village shop on Sunday just to collect our paper, nothing else. I waited in the car whilst she went in. Several other folk went in afterwards and came out before her some even holding other items they had bought. When she eventually came out, I politely (honest) asked what took her so long, all I got was, "what's the hurry".


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## 747 (Oct 2, 2009)

I hope you gave her a clip round the lughole MM. 8O 

Women appear to have forgotten their place. :evil:


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## alhod (Nov 1, 2010)

motormouth said:


> Whilst you are having these thoughts, can you please come up with an explanation for this-
> 
> My wife and I went to our local village shop on Sunday just to collect our paper, nothing else. I waited in the car whilst she went in. Several other folk went in afterwards and came out before her some even holding other items they had bought. When she eventually came out, I politely (honest) asked what took her so long, all I got was, "what's the hurry".


Now that is a whole different topic you're bringing into play! The differing perspectives of the male and the female of the species merits several doctoral theses - indeed I guess has probably already produced some :lol:

Alan


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## alhod (Nov 1, 2010)

Here's one I stole earlier!

Many people comment on how young my wife looks for her age.
I tell them it's because she gets lots of sex.

And one day I'll find out where :lol: :lol: 

Alan


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## Pudsey_Bear (Sep 25, 2008)

The trouble with wimmin today is :wink: :wink: they like to boss men around, make wise cracks about multitasking, like they're any better :roll: no sense of logic and how things need to be done :roll: no sense of humour unless it's another woman telling the joke, but it's just laughter, they never get the joke, and they read so much crap in those stupidly expensive magazines, did I mention no sense of humour, they ask the silliest questions, and when you give them a perfectly sensible answer they ask the same question again, and again until they get one they agree with :roll: and don't forget no sense of humour.


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## ChrisandJohn (Feb 3, 2008)

rogerblack said:


> Funnily enough, I was just 'pondering' earlier this morning:
> 
> can giving birth possibly be more painful than stepping barefoot on a 13 amp plug with pins up'ard?!
> 
> ...


So how long we're you actually standing on that plug? :roll: :lol:

Chris


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## motormouth (Jul 3, 2010)

747 said:


> I hope you gave her a clip round the lughole MM. 8O
> 
> Women appear to have forgotten their place. :evil:


Well my litle piranha fish certainly hasn't.
She thinks she is top dog in our house
The dog comes next
The birds in the garden next
The slug on the kitchen floor next
Then me, providing nothing more suitable comes up in the meantime.


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## alhod (Nov 1, 2010)

motormouth said:


> 747 said:
> 
> 
> > I hope you gave her a clip round the lughole MM. 8O
> ...


Motor - sometime you must tell me how you got so high up the pecking order - I aspire to overtake the centipedes who are always being sought out - no-one ever looks around for me!



Alan


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## rogerblack (May 1, 2005)

ChrisandJohn said:


> rogerblack said:
> 
> 
> > Funnily enough, I was just 'pondering' earlier this morning:
> ...


A damned sight less than the amount of time it took my wife to give birth to our lovely daughter . . . :confused4:


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## aldra (Jul 2, 2009)

well I've Given Birth 6 times 

if we count Twins as Twice??

at the moment sat with gums stitched over implants x 4 not too happy but could be worse

I could be in the first stages of labour :lol: :lol: :lol: 

Aldra


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## joedenise (Jul 20, 2007)

It can't be that painful giving birth as I had to wake Denise up to push our first out after the head had already come out whilst she slept.

mind you the next time the ambulance had blues and two's on going to maternity :lol: :lol: 

joe


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## aldra (Jul 2, 2009)

lucky Denise Joe

I certainly never fell asleep

Unfortunately :lol: :lol: 

-Aldra


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## pippin (Nov 15, 2007)

I was in a hospital bed due to having kidley stones.

The nice nurse who tended my sweating brow and tried to unclamp my white knuckles from her wrist told me that kidney stones were worse than childbith - she had had both.

At least the pain in damaged danglers fades after a while *♂♂*


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## aldra (Jul 2, 2009)

Did she have damaged danglers pippen????

Aldra

Checking for danglers


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## alanpad (Nov 9, 2012)

rogerblack said:


> Funnily enough, I was just 'pondering' earlier this morning:
> 
> can giving birth possibly be more painful than stepping barefoot on a 13 amp plug with pins up'ard?!
> 
> ...


Bet you got quite a shock :lol:


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## pippin (Nov 15, 2007)

Aldra - The pain was so bad that I wasn't even interested in looking at her danglers nor even her pert upward pointings.

Yep - that much pain!


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## HermanHymer (Dec 5, 2008)

There's one thing that's always puzzled me, perhaps you wise old ****s can enlighten me. Why do blokes always laugh when another bloke gets hit in the goolies? I am an ardent cricket fan so have witnessed plenty of these hysterical outbursts. I've had 2 kids, one of whom was breech, but thankfully no-one laughed, especially me.


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## pippin (Nov 15, 2007)

Viv - the laughter takes away the memory of the pain of when it happened to us.

Quite why the Good Lord (of evolution) put them in such a vulnerable place we will never know.

I don't buy the "keep 'em cool" theory. 

:sign10: :sign10: :sign10: :sign10: :sign10: :female:


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## HermanHymer (Dec 5, 2008)

Mmmmm design fault. Probably the same bloke who designed toasters. Ag shame. I wouldn't even wish that on my ex-husband.


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## alhod (Nov 1, 2010)

HermanHymer said:


> There's one thing that's always puzzled me, perhaps you wise old ****s can enlighten me. Why do blokes always laugh when another bloke gets hit in the goolies? I am an ardent cricket fan so have witnessed plenty of these hysterical outbursts. I've had 2 kids, one of whom was breech, but thankfully no-one laughed, especially me.


Viv, are you sure they're just laughing? It could be a short sharp intake of breath followed by a sigh which, roughly translated means 'thank God that wasn't me! '

Only then, after the full detail of the situation has sunk in, do we start laughing - it's a guy thing ; you wouldn't understand :lol:

Alan


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## HermanHymer (Dec 5, 2008)

alhod said:


> HermanHymer said:
> 
> 
> > There's one thing that's always puzzled me, perhaps you wise old ****s can enlighten me. Why do blokes always laugh when another bloke gets hit in the goolies? I am an ardent cricket fan so have witnessed plenty of these hysterical outbursts. I've had 2 kids, one of whom was breech, but thankfully no-one laughed, especially me.
> ...


God MUST be a woman!


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## alhod (Nov 1, 2010)

HermanHymer said:


> alhod said:
> 
> 
> > HermanHymer said:
> ...


All powerful, answer for everything, always knows best..... Hhmmmmm,
Yes, I'm sure that's right :lol:

Alan


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## merctoby (Jan 18, 2007)

*Think now guy"s!!*

Think now guy"s

When my wife gets narked , and she does" . But when she is really really narked , I guess some of you might have experienced depression , 

I guess a few weeks on the front line with the boy"s in afganistan iraq, or bomb disposal is this paiful, 8O 
What would you really think !

Or what about the guy on the radio the other day i heard ! ,He was bawling on the radio because he suffered some problem with his heart rate in his head , and what the medical term is called WHOOOSH!!!! . 
it will not stop , This guy was almost going mental with the sound that was even in his sleep pattern . And the doctors opinion and the medical profesionals were, Anti depressants for life , This guy was going to kill himself because he was told that their was no medical help for this ailment just get on with it . Well he sorted it himself he tried for twenty or so years to find the answer , He found a man in good old yankee! land. Willing to take a shot at it . Brain operation it was to build a blood vessel to carry the whoosh! around the area and is now ok...
So i guess ! Getting kicked in the nuts :? :roll: is bleeding painful, And would say, Yes much much more painful than childbirth ,

But seriously i think WHOOSH!! is a nightmare . I would rather give birth . 
Beside,s they give you laughing gas for childbirth don't they :lol:

denton.


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## DTPCHEMICALS (Jul 24, 2006)

When our son was 7 and daughter was 5 it was decided that I should have a vasectomy. 
Now that is painfull. But moving house
Is worse.
Dave p


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## Pudsey_Bear (Sep 25, 2008)

As a wise man once observed, if it has T*ts or wheels sooner or later it's going to give you trouble :lol: :lol: :lol:


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## pippin (Nov 15, 2007)

Dave - you have ruined my day by mentioning the dreaded "V" word.

Quite why having a couple of tiny tubes severed in such an easily accessible place should cause so much

P A I N :signsigh: 

is one of those unfair burdens we *♂*s have to bear.


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## Pudsey_Bear (Sep 25, 2008)

pippin said:


> Dave - you have ruined my day by mentioning the dreaded "V" word.
> 
> Quite why having a couple of tiny tubes severed in such an easily accessible place should cause so much
> 
> ...


I had mine done in 1982, hopefully they've ordered a new hacksaw blade since then or at least removed most of the rust and possibly given it a couple of seconds on a bumpy grinding wheel, and got rid of the B*&%$*d who did mine.

The GP said most of the pain is imagined due to the sensitive area, so I went on my bike, next time I saw her, I informed her that she had made a big error as had I for listening yet again to a woman who had no inkling of what she speaks.


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## HermanHymer (Dec 5, 2008)

Kev_n_Liz said:


> pippin said:
> 
> 
> > Dave - you have ruined my day by mentioning the dreaded "V" word.
> ...


Is this a private pity party or can anyone join in?

The V word is nowhere near as devastating as the unwanted P word and I guess you guys are free to be enjoying and can afford your motorhoming days because you are not still bringing a string of kids wanted or otherwise. So smile and wave! \/ :hello2: :hello2: :hello1: :hello2: :laughing3: : :wave: :leftfighter7 :sign10: :sign12:


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## Pudsey_Bear (Sep 25, 2008)

HermanHymer said:


> Kev_n_Liz said:
> 
> 
> > pippin said:
> ...


Valuable tip for none snipped married men who want no more kids, but fear the snip.

Next time she uses the P word, just politely ask if she knows who the father is, either way you'll not have any more kids.


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## Pudsey_Bear (Sep 25, 2008)

A man who's wife was pregnant couldn't bear to be in the delivery room at the time of the birth.

So he thought he'd ring up later to see if it had come yet.

He rang up and the nurse said "it's a girl but there's another one on the way"

he rang again later and the nurse said "it's another girl but there's another coming"

he rang once more and the nurse said " it's a boy but there's another coming"

He couldn't stand it any more so he went to the pub and got drunk.

An hour later he was really nervous. He was dialing the hospital, hands shaking, and accidentally dialed the sports line. he asked " how many did we get mate" the person said "198 all out.... and the last one was a duck"


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