# Such is life



## aldra (Jul 2, 2009)

Well we have a grandchild

An odd one out in our academic achieving family 

Who cares not a jot

He's intelligent , the fact the school hold onto him is a miracle 

He does no homework, often turns up late for school , never bothers with detention, he just doesn't go 

Never actually bothers with anything

He's just 15, 6ft 3 , a gentle giant 
He says he will come and live with us

Why?,his mum thinks he should 

Ther is just him dis mum

Not if you don't intend to turn things round we have said

You can bring your dog 

But you know your grandad will demand you do your homework

I'll demand you fit into a routine, get to school on time

But I'll make sure your meals are cooked, your washing is done, your dog is fed
Your breakfast is ready

And you have a lounge to use for your gaming consul and relax

It's probabally not enough

But it's how we brought up our kids

Sandra


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## Jamsieboy (Jan 14, 2011)

You and Albert have big hearts Sandra.
Wish you well.


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## aldra (Jul 2, 2009)

Jamie

If it was your grandchild ?

It's not big hearts , it's the never ending saga of family 

We wish them well as all families do 

Actually we wish them everything we didn't have 

But most of all

I wish him well

I know he can do it, Im not sure what holds him back

But of course I think academic, achievement 
It worked for all the others 

But maybe not for him 

So Im lost too

And maybe he feels the same, lost 

Sandra


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## cabby (May 14, 2005)

What great grandparents you are, yes I would do the same, routine is the backbone of family life, it helps the kids to have guidelines or rules if you wish.
If he is just not academic, it is not the end of the road by any means.There must be something that grabs him and he is passionate about, you just have to prise it out of him.
Thinking that if he does not do homework what are his marks like.
Is he under performing.


cabby


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## Pudsey_Bear (Sep 25, 2008)

I was and am not academic, I would have half the bloody alphabet after my name these days, but back then you just got on with it, like he is doing, I won't say it's not held me back, but I'm fine, my life was lived how I wanted it, I've had good times and bad, being academic may not have changed that.

You do what feels best for your family, I didn't have one which cared enough, nor I about them, but that's a different story.


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## patp (Apr 30, 2007)

In our day the non academic kids went to Technical College. Here they learned a useful trade. This gave them self esteem and a place in society. My, very academic, brother rues the day he did not learn how to wire a plug or change a tap washer. These are life skills and he always says that, the non academic, Mr P is far more "intelligent" than him because Mr P can work out what is wrong, how things work, and fix them!
As has been said, find something that inspires him and let him run with it. 


I ought to put you in touch with my elderly aunt. She is a widow and her brother died recently. He was the carer for his deceased sister's daughter. This young lady has learning difficulties and needs support. My poor aunt has taken her, and her cat, in. She now has to get up at 6.30 to supervise her departure for work and be home when she returns. Very hard for her. Social Services are supposed to be working on the case but, as she is safe, I don't suppose they will rush!


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## aldra (Jul 2, 2009)

In the world today a certain level of academic ability is required

He has to go to college for a start

GCSE in English and maths would be useful

He is not incapable of achieving just disinterested 

Any way he has decided to come here, agrees he needs to change his mindset and fit into school life and regulations 

Megan will be back from Switzerland soon, ready to do her masters degree in medical law at Manchester Uni, so it will be a full house for a while!!!

Aldra


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## cabby (May 14, 2005)

Obviously he just needed the inspiration that your home can offer him. All the best of luck to him.

cabby


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## Pat-H (Oct 30, 2009)

A world full of academics would be horrible. Nothing practical would ever get done.
He probably needs to get into something that uses his hands and brain rather than just the brain.


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## barryd (May 9, 2008)

He sounds just like I was at that age Sandra and look at me, I turned out alright eh?









I couldnt be bothered at school unless it interested me. I left when I was 16 convinced I was going to (dont laugh) work in Agriculture having had a jolly old time in the summer holidays driving tractors on my uncles farm. I lasted three weeks on work experience working properly on a farm. I tried my hand at being an electrician (I wasnt bad at that) I ran a blooming successful mobile disco from the age of 15 and did that for years as well as anything else that came up including cutting own trees  Auctioning cars for my mates dads garage and anything else I could think of.

It was my uncle who worked for Olivetti that got me into Computers, well him and Clive Sinclair really and eventually quite late I went back to college as I was a proper computer nerd by the time I was 19 and finally I found something I could put my heart into and the rest is history.

Perhaps this is what the lad needs. He needs to find something that flicks his switch then he will fly. Hopefully. Mind you its a lot to take on a 15 year old. I wouldnt have wished me on anyone at that age.


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## Pudsey_Bear (Sep 25, 2008)

Academics tend to become a PITA to none academics, especially within a family, I speak from experience.


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## cabby (May 14, 2005)

Our family must be unusual then, we get on like a house on fire complementing each others abilities.Also appreciating them and the effort it took to gain such status in either camp.

cabby


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## adonisito (Nov 6, 2009)

At least half our school is like him. A S Neill once said “ I would rather see a school produce a happy street cleaner than a neurotic scholar.” He's the bloke that founded Summerhill.

That has always informed my teaching. Don't worry about it, my experience of old boys is that it normally turns out OK in the end with loving support that you are clearly giving.


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## aldra (Jul 2, 2009)

It will

But he needs to accept the rules of the school

Do homework or do detention if he doesn't

Understand if he fails, he fails himself and his future

Imnotlooking for a genius

Just a guy who accepts the responsibility for his own future

And gives himself a chance of success

Mind you Winston the ridgeback is just so cute and loving 

So there you go

You win one you lose one

Sandra


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## HermanHymer (Dec 5, 2008)

My son was born with 35% hearing. He had reconstructive surgery when he was 3 and 5 years old and only got a hearing aid at age 9 or 10. At school he used to pass exams by a few percent, or fail them by a few percent. He passed Matric and got a tertiary qualification, hit one, miss one. The first sign of brilliance was passing his microlight pilot's licence with scores of nothing less than 90% in all subjects.

At the age of 35 he went changed careers, went back to university and his dreams started coming true. He passed his first degree (Aircraft Engineer) with merit, not failing one exam. He's gone on to write many more exams, just having completed a 6-week course on Airbus 320 with nothing less than 90% in his exams, and the standards are exacting. No-one is more surprised and delighted than me! 

It's just a matter of finding the one thing that floats his boat. Just keep exposing him to ideas and opportunities Sandra.


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## Pudsey_Bear (Sep 25, 2008)

cabby said:


> Our family must be unusual then, we get on like a house on fire complementing each others abilities.Also appreciating them and the effort it took to gain such status in either camp.
> 
> cabby


It was a tongue in cheek post Phil, what I meant was the academic ones always seem to need help from the none academics, when they could easily afford to pay for professional help.


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## Pudsey_Bear (Sep 25, 2008)

HermanHymer said:


> My son was born with 35% hearing. He had reconstructive surgery when he was 3 and 5 years old and only got a hearing aid at age 9 or 10. At school he used to pass exams by a few percent, or fail them by a few percent. He passed Matric and got a tertiary qualification, hit one, miss one. The first sign of brilliance was passing his microlight pilot's licence with scores of nothing less than 90% in all subjects.
> 
> At the age of 35 he went changed careers, went back to university and his dreams started coming true. He passed his first degree (Aircraft Engineer) with merit, not failing one exam. He's gone on to write many more exams, just having completed a 6-week course on Airbus 320 with nothing less than 90% in his exams, and the standards are exacting. No-one is more surprised and delighted than me!
> 
> It's just a matter of finding the one thing that floats his boat. Just keep exposing him to ideas and opportunities Sandra.


Well done him, but, somehow I would always want 100% from anything to do with flight, don't want anyone fudging that last 10% when it counts.

Kidding of course, 90% of anything is brilliant.


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## aldra (Jul 2, 2009)

Well he's here

Hasn't been the best start in life
He needs to find that something

Instead he's got us

We only know what we know

Buthavingdragged 6 kids through 

Even at our age

Well drag him and his dog through as well

Shadow is keen to help

I think, who knows what the H from H is keen on
He's a total pain in the neck

But boy is he just beautiful

People stop us to say 
How beautiful he is

Unless he takes a dislike to them
And he knows it

Aldra


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## pippin (Nov 15, 2007)

Aldra:
"But boy is he just beautiful

People stop us to say 
How beautiful he is

Unless he takes a dislike to them
And he knows it"

Is that the dog or the errant grandson you are talking about?!!!!!


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## Penquin (Oct 15, 2007)

aldra said:


> I know he can do it, Im not sure what holds him back
> 
> But of course I think academic, achievement
> It worked for all the others
> ...


Firstly may I echo the comments about you two as grandparents and if he is not aware of it by now (which *would* surprise me) then he should rapidly have it explained to him by some of our more caring members such as Tugboat and Barryd.......

Secondly as regards academic achievement may I make a couple of thoughts apparent please?

1. not everyone is suited to academia - I know coming from a a former teacher that may be regarded as heresy, but some people are better at DOING than learning about things - and the UK and the world needs those people as much as academics.......:surprise:

2. from my experience many people are put off by the way they have been taught (lectured*) and what they have been taught...... If they are able to identify a SUBJECT or topic that interests them that may lead to them finding an area they would be interested in studying further. Having done that then comes the hardest part - identifying a technique or method that works for that person (note I am saying person not class) - each of us learns in a different manner or style, but sadly, often teaching only links to one of the alternative routes....

**Lecture *- a means to transfer the lecturer's notes to the student's notes without it going through the brain of either......

*Styles/Methods of learning;*










You may well find that only 2 or 3 of those have been tried during his academic progress so far.......

As you know, I am always happy to suggest things and at least in teaching/learning I do have a bit of experience - I ALWAYS sought to teach the GCSE students with the lowest achievements and expectations and the success that those students achieved was outstanding - and that was entirely down to them gaining confidence through proof that they COULD succeed - their previous experience had not always been positive as regards biology and science...... Some went on to become successful medics, others studied biology at University, at least one went into food science and so on.....

All because they discovered that they COULD do something that previously they could not.

Dave


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## aldra (Jul 2, 2009)

pippin said:


> Aldra:
> "But boy is he just beautiful
> 
> People stop us to say
> ...


both of them, well all three if you count Winston the ridgeback

He is a very likeable lad, obviously otherwise he would have been expelled by now

His life style is chaotic, remembered this morning that he has cookery today so I'm rushing around trying to find all the ingredients he needs

He will do homework with his grandads supervision each night, and catch up missed homework, our daughter a maths specialist will help him sort out his maths

Our D inLaw, is fluent in Spanish so will help him with that, the biggest problem I think was his relationship with his Spanish teacher, no love lost on either side, so the school has moved him to a different Spanish class

Then when he goes home I expect he will revert back to doing his own thing again !!! But we can but hope he will make an effort to get the grades he is capable of

Meanwhile he will stay here Mon- Fri and go home at weekend, and we will help him structure and organise his life 
Aldra


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## HermanHymer (Dec 5, 2008)

Sandra is he ADD perhaps?


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## pippin (Nov 15, 2007)

....


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## pippin (Nov 15, 2007)

Viv - pay attention in class!

He will receive excellent assistance 

"our daughter, a maths specialist, will help him sort out his maths"

That will be both ADD & SUBTRACT, not to mention multiplication & division!!!


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## aldra (Jul 2, 2009)

There is nowt wrong with him

Just application

Worked on his maths today, quickly understood the principles and completed one set of homework

He and his mum live a chaotic lifestyle , it's how we live he says

But he does respond to organisation
Or maybe just to the fact I have time to sort out his breakfast
Prepare his evening meal

Make his sandwiches

Make his bed

Grandmas do

Plus he ain't going to argue with me

An established fact

Sandra


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