# How we came to buy a French camp site



## campsitewriter

It has been suggested by a number of members that I should start a new thread about 'we bought a camp site in France'. I now know about the rules and regs regarding advertising and shall try and follow them. It would be very difficult to do this without mentioning the name of the site and its location so I shall get this out of the way now. The site is called Champ de la Chapelle or Church Field in English, so named because of the nearby Templar church or chapel.
So how did we arrive at the position of owning a camp site? For many years I had my own business selling cattle feed to farmers in North Lancashire and North Yorkshire. A few years ago anther company made me a good offer for this business and sensing a once in a lifetime opportunity I agreed to sell.
Jumping back in time to 2008 my wife and I had bought a house in Chateauponsac in the Limousin with the view to retiring there when in our sixties. As I was 55 when I sold my business we knew that there was no way that our savings could support us for an extra ten years so what were we to do.
At this momentous point I will cease writing and ask members for their views. Is this of interest and should I post installments or quietly fade into the far blue yonder. Please let me know.


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## pippin

It is already becoming a book that I can hardly put down!


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## pippin

PS - And I am not being sarcastic!>


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## MEES

More please


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## jiwawa

Interested....!


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## StephandJohn

More please. Don't stop now!


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## tugboat

Gerronwivit, man, we're all sitting here slavering with anticipation.:thumbleft:


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## barryd

Yes Simon we are interested to hear more. Dont be too cautious although I suspect your still on medication after 10 pages on Fruitcakes.  (Well done on joining the worlds best motorhome forum by the way  )

I look forward to hearing more as I pondered similar for a while until I realised I would rather just not work any more at all if possible.


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## campsitewriter

tugboat said:


> Gerronwivit, man, we're all sitting here slavering with anticipation.:thumbleft:


Well I am not sure if you are being sarcastic but I will carry on regardless.
If you really like it put your hand in your pocket and shell out for the full versions on Kindle books 'A tent in France' and 'A lot of tents in France' they are cheap enough.

So to continue:
As said we decided that we could not afford to retire at this relatively young age, having children at university and 3 daughters to marry off. For my part I realised that it would be very difficult to find gainful employment as my only skills lay in animal nutrition and the terms of the sale of my business forbade me from going back into that line of work. After copious amounts of red wine we had come to some conclusions, firstly our people skills were our strongest points and secondly we really fancied a move to France.
Various ideas were broached and most were quickly discarded, running a B & B being a good example. We did not cherish the idea of sharing our home with strangers and the thought of making all those breakfasts each day was the final nail in the coffin for the guest house plan.
Eventually, for some unknown and probably drunken reason, we agreed to look into the possibility of buying a camp site in France. Soon visions of hordes of happy campers swarming about a, as yet non-existent, camp site swam before our eyes. If we could find the right site we could not possibly fail in this exciting new venture. 
To be continued if enough people give me a shout


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## campsitewriter

Well I actually and stupidly thought that I could have a camp site and not have to do much work other than counting my huge profits. Turns out I got this the wrong way round, lots of work and not much money, should have spent more than 10 minutes researching the job before buying.


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## campsitewriter

tugboat said:


> Gerronwivit, man, we're all sitting here slavering with anticipation.:thumbleft:





barryd said:


> Yes Simon we are interested to hear more. Dont be too cautious although I suspect your still on medication after 10 pages on Fruitcakes.  (Well done on joining the worlds best motorhome forum by the way  )
> 
> I look forward to hearing more as I pondered similar for a while until I realised I would rather just not work any more at all if possible.


Well I actually and stupidly thought that I could have a camp site and not have to do much work other than counting my huge profits. Turns out I got this the wrong way round, lots of work and not much money, should have spent more than 10 minutes researching the job before buying.


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## barryd

I Think thats what put me off as well. A few people on here are Campsite Wardens. I thought that might be a canny little number flying about on a little tractor all day long and then sitting in the sun drinking the visitors wine but it seems there is more to it than that and its bloody hard work.


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## tugboat

campsitewriter said:


> Well I am not sure if you are being sarcastic but I will carry on regardless.
> If you really like it put your hand in your pocket and shell out for the full versions on Kindle books 'A tent in France' and 'A lot of tents in France' they are cheap enough.
> 
> So to continue:
> As said we decided that we could not afford to retire at this relatively young age, having children at university and 3 daughters to marry off. For my part I realised that it would be very difficult to find gainful employment as my only skills lay in animal nutrition and the terms of the sale of my business forbade me from going back into that line of work. After copious amounts of red wine we had come to some conclusions, firstly our people skills were our strongest points and secondly we really fancied a move to France.
> Various ideas were broached and most were quickly discarded, running a B & B being a good example. We did not cherish the idea of sharing our home with strangers and the thought of making all those breakfasts each day was the final nail in the coffin for the guest house plan.
> Eventually, for some unknown and probably drunken reason, we agreed to look into the possibility of buying a camp site in France. Soon visions of hordes of happy campers swarming about a, as yet non-existent, camp site swam before our eyes. If we could find the right site we could not possibly fail in this exciting new venture.
> To be continued if enough people give me a shout


I was not being sarcastic, but very serious (or should that be sirryarse?). I just come across as the class clown, though that title rightfully belongs in perpetuity to BarryD.


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## EJB

Do we really need two threads on this long and laborious subject????:surprise:


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## MEES

I am enjoying it  if not interested don't read it !


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## ChrisandJohn

EJB said:


> Do we really need two threads on this long and laborious subject????:surprise:


Yes.

He's starting at the beginning of the story and it's in an appropriate forum.

Chris


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## campsitewriter

EJB said:


> Do we really need two threads on this long and laborious subject????:surprise:


Only did it cos people asked me to, lot of work all this writing, I am more than happy to abandon one or both posts if that is the general concensus


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## barryd

campsitewriter said:


> Only did it cos people asked me to, lot of work all this writing, I am more than happy to abandon one or both posts if that is the general concensus


Carry on Simon. The forum needs the input and a lot of people are interested and your quite correct it was suggested on the other thread. You can post what you like, your a paid up member.


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## dghr272

Ignore the grumpy folk, and keep it going Simon please if they don't like they shouldn't read it.

Terry


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## nicholsong

Judgeing from what I have read about running campsite the site is not much of a problem - once the rain and floods from the river have subsided........BUT ......

IT'S BLOODY VISITORS:surprise: - and their unsociable habits.

Reading these sort of threads disuades me more from using campsites, although that site and the rates look reasonable.

But as somebody wrote; in France you are competing with Aires and Wildcamping.

Anyway, Good Luck.

Geoff


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## campsitewriter

nicholsong said:


> Judgeing from what I have read about running campsite the site is not much of a problem - once the rain and floods from the river have subsided........BUT ......
> 
> IT'S BLOODY VISITORS:surprise: - and their unsociable habits.
> 
> Reading these sort of threads disuades me more from using campsites, although that site and the rates look reasonable.
> 
> But as somebody wrote; in France you are competing with Aires and Wildcamping.
> 
> Anyway, Good Luck.
> 
> Geoff


Depends whether you want to stay in a car park or a beautiful campsite with decent facilities, swimming pool, bar, cafe, secure and safe parking with owners on site for the princely sum of €9.00 in low season and €12 in high season. Each to their own I say!


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## gaspode

campsitewriter said:


> Depends whether you want to stay in a car park or a beautiful campsite with decent facilities, swimming pool, bar, cafe, secure and safe parking with owners on site for the princely sum of €9.00 in low season and €12 in high season. Each to their own I say!


I don't really think that's the whole story Simon, especially for M/H users.
What you need to remember is that the average M/H user is retired, maybe not so keen on walking long distances and doesn't have a car at his/her disposal. If we use rural campsites therefore we can be "stuck" with whatever the campsite has to offer and little else.

That means (for us at any rate) that we like to stop somewhere that is either in a town or village or at least within a short walk. That's why we like aires (or some of them anyway). We rarely use the "car park" aires unless there's a reason - like being in the heart of an interesting town for instance. Most aires are in a town or village, shops with people nearby, often weekly markets and somewhere to sit around and "people watch". We're not really wildcampers but we're not avid campsite users either. When we do use campsites we like those that aren't full of screaming kids, and that are close to nature and interesting wildlife. We don't often use facilities like swimming pools, restaurants and bars so we don't want to pay for them either. Municipal campsites are very popular with motorhomes as they can provide the best of both worlds - secure with facilities but close to towns, attractions and shops.

Your site sounds interesting for a one or two night stopover but I doubt many motorhomers would stay for a week or more as tenters or tuggers would. Motorhomers like to keep on the move and don't often stay in one place for too long.


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## ColumbusDixon

The thread(s) has/have attracted lots of attention - good natured I might add both from those for and against. That's what makes the 'read' interesting - like minded souls who usually haven't met face-to-face having a craic on. 

Also I don't have a problem with someone promoting themselves as long as they aren't Trumpting it and it's related to our shared interest.

What I am upset about though is that I know the next instalment is going to burst my dream of running a campsite.


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## campsitewriter

gaspode said:


> I don't really think that's the whole story Simon, especially for M/H users.
> What you need to remember is that the average M/H user is retired, maybe not so keen on walking long distances and doesn't have a car at his/her disposal. If we use rural campsites therefore we can be "stuck" with whatever the campsite has to offer and little else.
> 
> That means (for us at any rate) that we like to stop somewhere that is either in a town or village or at least within a short walk. That's why we like aires (or some of them anyway). We rarely use the "car park" aires unless there's a reason - like being in the heart of an interesting town for instance. Most aires are in a town or village, shops with people nearby, often weekly markets and somewhere to sit around and "people watch". We're not really wildcampers but we're not avid campsite users either. When we do use campsites we like those that aren't full of screaming kids, and that are close to nature and interesting wildlife. We don't often use facilities like swimming pools, restaurants and bars so we don't want to pay for them either. Municipal campsites are very popular with motorhomes as they can provide the best of both worlds - secure with facilities but close to towns, attractions and shops.
> 
> Your site sounds interesting for a one or two night stopover but I doubt many motorhomers would stay for a week or more as tenters or tuggers would. Motorhomers like to keep on the move and don't often stay in one place for too long.


Fair comment, obviously I had to stick up for camp sites, it would have been a bit odd if I had said 'aires, great places , cheap and handy for town'.


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## campsitewriter

ColumbusDixon said:


> The thread(s) has/have attracted lots of attention - good natured I might add both from those for and against. That's what makes the 'read' interesting - like minded souls who usually haven't met face-to-face having a craic on.
> 
> Also I don't have a problem with someone promoting themselves as long as they aren't Trumpting it and it's related to our shared interest.
> 
> What I am upset about though is that I know the next instalment is going to burst my dream of running a campsite.


A quick heads up on the next chapter cos it's nearly wine 'o' clock and I'm for knocking off.
You are quite right, the next chapter is all about telling young lady campers to put their tops back on and having to discipline them if they refuse. Sorry thought I was back on the Fruitcakes forum, please ignore the topless ladies bit (bits)


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## barryd

campsitewriter said:


> A quick heads up on the next chapter cos it's nearly wine 'o' clock and I'm for knocking off.
> You are quite right, the next chapter is all about telling young lady campers to put their tops back on and having to discipline them if they refuse. Sorry thought I was back on the Fruitcakes forum, please ignore the topless ladies bit (bits)


I cant wait although if you tell me you had topless girls on your site and you made them get dressed Im out! 

I tell you what I would find useful which would go against the grain for most motorhomers is a list of sites like yours for under a tenner in France. You come across them every now and then where you find either a private campsite Aire or something that isnt much more than a field with a view in the middle of nowhere. I know yours is a lot more than that but I quite like those. I dont mind being away from the crowds or not in a town as we have a bike with us.

As for the Aires though Simon if your prepared again to stay out of the main towns there are some pretty good stunning ones. I am very good at finding them but not so hot on picking or tracking campsites down.

Most of the ACSI ones I have been on have not been our cup of tea at all.

Remember the campsite on Carry on Camping where everything was a quid? (Mr Fiddler). Thats the sort of place I like.


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## Al42

Please carry on there seems to be plenty interested in hearing your story, no one is obliged to read a thread if they don't want to.

I had thought in the past of becoming a warden but the thought of having to deal with people like me put me right off:smile2:

Happily retired and homeless now:smile2apart from various vans & caravans)


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## nicholsong

I do not need to make much comment as Gaspode has said almost what I would have written.

The only difference is we maybe do more wildcamping, but that is mostly in Scotland, England, Poland, Slowakia - i.e where there are no Aires. In France, Spain, Germany etc is is mainly Aires, but some wild.

Re Simon's quip about campsites versus 'car parks', he not having a motorhome will not have had the pleasure of parking next to picturesque canals and rivers, or on hills with a veiw over the valley or across to stunning mountains, lit up by sunrise or sunset. Often some CP Aires are laid out with trees or bushes separating the spaces, thus providing some degree of privacy and separation.

Geoff


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## campsitewriter

nicholsong said:


> I do not need to make much comment as Gaspode has said almost what I would have written.
> 
> The only difference is we maybe do more wildcamping, but that is mostly in Scotland, England, Poland, Slowakia - i.e where there are no Aires. In France, Spain, Germany etc is is mainly Aires, but some wild.
> 
> Re Simon's quip about campsites versus 'car parks', he not having a motorhome will not have had the pleasure of parking next to picturesque canals and rivers, or on hills with a veiw over the valley or across to stunning mountains, lit up by sunrise or sunset. Often some CP Aires are laid out with trees or bushes separating the spaces, thus providing some degree of privacy and separation.
> 
> Geoff


You know I was only kidding about the aires, as I said you would hardly expect me, as a camp site owner, to promote aires, obviously some of them must be nice or you would not use them.


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## EJB

As suggested I haven't read the thread but at least I woke a few up:surprise::wink2::grin2:


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## barryd

campsitewriter said:


> You know I was only kidding about the aires, as I said you would hardly expect me, as a camp site owner, to promote aires, obviously some of them must be nice or you would not use them.


There is a true side to what you said though, some of them are bloody awful and despite me being an avid Aire user and wild camper I am often amazed where some people seem happy parking. Ive seen aires where the vans are packed so tightly you couldnt open the door. Not my idea of fun. Equally there are often stories of hordes of vans getting together and wilding in one place for weeks on end where I can only assume the reason is completely to avoid paying for an Aire or site.

The biggest thing I want to avoid is hordes of other vans and I like space as well, in fact Im a bit of a fuss pot when it comes to parking the van.


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## nicholsong

barryd said:


> There is a true side to what you said though, some of them are bloody awful and despite me being an avid Aire user and wild camper I am often amazed where some people seem happy parking.* Ive seen aires where the vans are packed so tightly you couldnt open the door. Not my idea of fun. *Equally there are often stories of hordes of vans getting together and wilding in one place for weeks on end where I can only assume the reason is completely to avoid paying for an Aire or site.
> 
> The biggest thing I want to avoid is hordes of other vans and I like space as well, in fact Im a bit of a fuss pot when it comes to parking the van.


I agree with Barry.

But we have been on delightful Aires in mid-summer and there has hardly been anyone there. I fail to understand - but am happy.

Geoff


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## barryd

nicholsong said:


> I agree with Barry.
> 
> But we have been on delightful Aires in mid-summer and there has hardly been anyone there. I fail to understand - but am happy.
> 
> Geoff


You and I have similar taste I think when it comes to aires and wilding. I am often surprised as well when you turn up and find somewhere lovely with not many on it yet the Aire 10 miles down the road which is not as nice is packed.

Sorry, thread hijack!


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## GMJ

Anyway, back to the topless girls....












....sorry I meant, back to the story 0

Graham :grin2:


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## campsitewriter

tugboat said:


> I was not being sarcastic, but very serious (or should that be sirryarse?). I just come across as the class clown, though that title rightfully belongs in perpetuity to BarryD.


Right no stuff about topless girlies, I shall now keep you abreast with our search for the right camp site. There are a number of websites advertising camp sites, they are stuffed with tasty pictures and glowing descriptions of myriad marvelous camp sites. Hmm doesn't really say where the place is, something along the lines of 'this beautiful and thriving camping business is located in the South Western area of France'. So that narrows it down a bit. And then your eye catches the little button labelled; 'For more information click here'. Oh goody this will tell us more about the place, well no a request for your email address, amount of your money(in cash) that is available for purchasing and your home telephone number. Fill that in and wait patiently for the details to come whizzing back through the ether.
The first time we did the above I was rather surprised to find an email, the next day, with a contract attached, 'name, number and rank, reference number of the property that you wished to find out more about'. A scanned copy of the potential purchasers passport and I seem to remember that a scanned copy of our marriage certificate was also required. This contract forbade the signatories (me and the missus) from making any direct contact with the owners. All communications had to be through the selling agent for a period of 2 years from the date of signing or until that property was purchased, which ever came first.
'Bloody Hell' I commented to Lorraine, 'what would they want if we actually bought a place (in due course we would discover exactly what was required).
Any old how, we complied with this diktat and the very next day an email with a 20 page attachment with a thud in my in box. Excitedly looking through the details we very quickly came to the conclusion that this was a campsite that we would not even want to stay at overnight, never mind buy the place.
This continued for a while and each new camp site required the dreaded contract to be filled out. Finally we assembled a short list of camp sites worth visiting and after making appointments with the agent to view them, we set off to Frnce with high hopes.


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## campsitewriter

campsitewriter said:


> Right no stuff about topless girlies, I shall now keep you abreast with our search for the right camp site. There are a number of websites advertising camp sites, they are stuffed with tasty pictures and glowing descriptions of myriad marvelous camp sites. Hmm doesn't really say where the place is, something along the lines of 'this beautiful and thriving camping business is located in the South Western area of France'. So that narrows it down a bit. And then your eye catches the little button labelled; 'For more information click here'. Oh goody this will tell us more about the place, well no a request for your email address, amount of your money(in cash) that is available for purchasing and your home telephone number. Fill that in and wait patiently for the details to come whizzing back through the ether.
> The first time we did the above I was rather surprised to find an email, the next day, with a contract attached, 'name, number and rank, reference number of the property that you wished to find out more about'. A scanned copy of the potential purchasers passport and I seem to remember that a scanned copy of our marriage certificate was also required. This contract forbade the signatories (me and the missus) from making any direct contact with the owners. All communications had to be through the selling agent for a period of 2 years from the date of signing or until that property was purchased, which ever came first.
> 'Bloody Hell' I commented to Lorraine, 'what would they want if we actually bought a place (in due course we would discover exactly what was required).
> Any old how, we complied with this diktat and the very next day an email with a 20 page attachment with a thud in my in box. Excitedly looking through the details we very quickly came to the conclusion that this was a campsite that we would not even want to stay at overnight, never mind buy the place.
> This continued for a while and each new camp site required the dreaded contract to be filled out. Finally we assembled a short list of camp sites worth visiting and after making appointments with the agent to view them, we set off to Frnce with high hopes.


If you want any more just say so or we can just leave ir here


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## Pudsey_Bear

Do continue my boy  

A bit more spread out would help my old peepers though, use the key with the carriage return on it now and then > >










Twice today, getting a bit warm now though so I'll play nice


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## gramor

Carry on please, this beats reading the usual submissions from grumpy old git's moaning about something really petty, although I see a few have tried already..


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## Pudsey_Bear

gramor said:


> Carry on please, this beats reading the usual submissions from grumpy old git's moaning about something really petty, although I see a few have tried already..


Says you 42 posts in 6 years, only kidding, you're quite right though, nowt worse than people moaning.

BTW, I've run out of coats now.


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## pippin

I am enjoying reading this saga (lower case ess).

Three things have sparked my interest:

Topless girls,
Wine o'clock
and
Topless girls.

Seriously though - we are looking for a site at the ahrse end of August for a fortnight.
Us in the MH and (flying out) single daughter plus 12yr old grand daughter in tents.

Your site would be absolutely perfect if there was a walkable (or bikeable) town nearby.

However, the three things mentioned above would swing it for me!


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## ChrisandJohn

pippin said:


> I am enjoying reading this saga (lower case ess).
> 
> Three things have sparked my interest:
> 
> Topless girls,
> Wine o'clock
> and
> Topless girls.
> 
> Seriously though - we are looking for a site at the ahrse end of August for a fortnight.
> Us in the MH and (flying out) single daughter plus 12yr old grand daughter in tents.
> 
> Your site would be absolutely perfect if there was a walkable (or bikeable) town nearby.
> 
> However, the three things mentioned above would swing it for me!


How would your daughter and 12 year old granddaughter feel about the topless 'girls'? :roll eyes:

Chris


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## barryd

Why would anyone get upset about Topless Girls? No, really, why would they?


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## GMJ

barryd said:


> Why would anyone get upset about Topless Girls? No, really, why would they?


Not me Barry

I'm a feminist me, its everyone's right to take their shirt off regardless of gender. I do it all the time....

Graham :smile2:


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## Pudsey_Bear

There's some I'd rather didn't


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## campsitewriter

Kev_n_Liz said:


> Do continue my boy
> 
> A bit more spread out would help my old peepers though, use the key with the carriage return on it now and then > >
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Twice today, getting a bit warm now though so I'll play nice


Well the car was loaded up with the necessary to go to France on our camp site viewing expedition. On this first journey (July 2013) we had 5 sites lined up to view. Four of them could easily be visited from our house in Chateauponsac near Limoges but the first viewing was in Burgundy.

The plan went thus; we would take the ferry across to Calais and drive down to Burgundy with the view to spend the night on this camp site that looked very promising on the particulars supplied by the sales agent.

This sounds fairly simple but in fact was anything but straight forward. As explained earlier we had sent all our details off along with a signed contract agreeing to face a firing squad should we even think about contacting the owners direct. After swearing on the bible that we would obey this diktat I asked if we could visit the site and obviously meet the agent and the owners.

Immediately a reply came back from said agent, 'no it is impossible to view the camp site when holiday makers are staying there'. He explained that the Dutch camp site owners were worried that should any mention of the site being up for sale leak out to the campers, they would lose business.

This seemed slightly odd and rather worrying to Lorraine and myself. The business was up for sale in two parts, firstly the actual land was one sale and the business and goodwill (the fonds) was a separate sale. This is common practice in France so no worries there. The elephant in the room was of course the €150 000 for the goodwill etc. If the present owners were so worried that all the existing custom would evaporate due to a sale, what the hell were we paying €150 000 for?

Deciding to risk the wrath of the, frankly scary, Dutch sales agent we just booked a nights stay at the camp site and planned to do a bit of undercover research. I found this idea quite exciting but was disappointed when Lorraine refused to let me wear a long leather coat and a fake ear piece with curly wire disappearing under the trench coat collar.

Another slight problem was the lack of a tent. As this was to be our only overnight stay on a campsite we didn't fancy lugging loads of kit in the car. I solved this problem by buying a 'festival tent' from B and M Bargains for the princely sum of £10. We planned to take some new bedding to our French house so that would do instead of sleeping bags, finally we set off for Dover as dawn was cracking, with the aim of arriving Burgundy by mid afternoon.

As we drove Lorraine and I discussed this camp site, the pool looked to be of Olympic proportions, the bar area seemed to invite one to partake of a small libation, why there was even a handsome brick built pizza oven and the whole kit and caboodle was only about €350 000. What a bargain!

To be continued...... Remember the louder you scream the faster we go.


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## campsitewriter

barryd said:


> Why would anyone get upset about Topless Girls? No, really, why would they?


Wives do


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## Pudsey_Bear

I don't think most wives would be bothered about ladies flaunting the assets/charms, they might get a bit miffed when hubby ogles said assets/charms. dunno why :roll: :roll: they're only for feeding kids.


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## campsitewriter

pippin said:


> I am enjoying reading this saga (lower case ess).
> 
> Three things have sparked my interest:
> 
> Topless girls,
> Wine o'clock
> and
> Topless girls.
> 
> Seriously though - we are looking for a site at the ahrse end of August for a fortnight.
> Us in the MH and (flying out) single daughter plus 12yr old grand daughter in tents.
> 
> Your site would be absolutely perfect if there was a walkable (or bikeable) town nearby.
> 
> However, the three things mentioned above would swing it for me!


I will try and arrange for topless bar staff thus satisfying your most urgent requirements.
The nearest place with shops etc (and also a pleasant swimming lake with sandy beach) is Saint Bonnet Troncais. It is about 3 miles from the camp site but the roads are very quiet and fairly flat, so an easy bike ride though the forest. It would be lovely to see you if you fancy visiting, we even have some fully furnished rental tents if that helps.


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## campsitewriter

Kev_n_Liz said:


> I don't think most wives would be bothered about ladies flaunting the assets/charms, they might get a bit miffed when hubby ogles said assets/charms. dunno why :roll: :roll: they're only for feeding kids.


The killer question from the wife is always, 'she has nice breasts doesn't she?'
The stock reply of 'sorry love, I hadn't noticed' is normally greeted with a sarcastic snort.
And men would never say to their wives 'wow that chap has a hell of a lunchbox!'


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## Pudsey_Bear

campsitewriter said:


> I will try and arrange for topless bar staff thus satisfying your most urgent requirements.


You'll be needing a bigger field then > >


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## Pudsey_Bear

campsitewriter said:


> The killer question from the wife is always, 'she has nice breasts doesn't she?'
> The stock reply of 'sorry love, I hadn't noticed' is normally greeted with a sarcastic snort.
> And men would never say to their wives 'wow that chap has a hell of a lunchbox!'


Disagree with that here, Liz never has a problem with stuff like that, ever, not once.

Anyone got a tall stand, about nose height.


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## pippin

Well, 'er indoors and I have been on plenty of nudist beaches (suitably undressed) so no problems on that score.

The dort might be a bit uptight, despite being a nurse and seeing it all (and more) every day.

As for the 12yr old grand dort - well who knows what goes on in her mind.

Anyway - it was all said in jest and the responses were very amusing.

Campsitewriter, we may well visit you for a week and sample the joys of your site - even without the "extras"!


----------



## barryd

Can't wait for the next instalment. The more I hear about buying anything in France though the more I am off by the burocracy and faffing around that seems involved with any purchase. It's like they don't want to sell you stuff. How the hell are you supposed to asses a campsite if you can't view it in full swing and have to resort to going undercover? 

Good idea that though.


----------



## campsitewriter

Kev_n_Liz said:


> Says you 42 posts in 6 years, only kidding, you're quite right though, nowt worse than people moaning.
> 
> BTW, I've run out of coats now.


I don't believe it


----------



## campsitewriter

barryd said:


> Can't wait for the next instalment. The more I hear about buying anything in France though the more I am off by the burocracy and faffing around that seems involved with any purchase. It's like they don't want to sell you stuff. How the hell are you supposed to asses a campsite if you can't view it in full swing and have to resort to going undercover?
> 
> Good idea that though.


Just call me Bond, James Bond


----------



## campsitewriter

pippin said:


> Well, 'er indoors and I have been on plenty of nudist beaches (suitably undressed) so no problems on that score.
> 
> The dort might be a bit uptight, despite being a nurse and seeing it all (and more) every day.
> 
> As for the 12yr old grand dort - well who knows what goes on in her mind.
> 
> Anyway - it was all said in jest and the responses were very amusing.
> 
> Campsitewriter, we may well visit you for a week and sample the joys of your site - even without the "extras"!


Looking forward too meeting you but you will have to keep your trollies on


----------



## campsitewriter

Kev_n_Liz said:


> You'll be needing a bigger field then > >


I didn't say what sex the topless bar staff would be.


----------



## campsitewriter

campsitewriter said:


> Just call me Bond, James Bond


Friday bonus;

I am feeling relatively literate today so shall continue with this saga.

We arrived at the camp site in a mild frenzy, this was so exciting. First appearances only fed our excitement. The camp site was, and still is, located on the edge of a small but perfectly proportioned picturesque French town.

The entrance was flagged by tall pillars and as we entered there was hardy a square inch of unoccupied ground. Tents, caravans and motorhomes were crowded in and the place was swarming with smiling campers.

Threading our way through the multitudes of bronzed holiday-makers, we parked by he reception and introduced ourselves to the Dutch owners. We had hardy shaken hands before the male proprietor whispered 'you must not allow anyone to know why you are here.'

After promising to keep a tightly zipped mouth he took us to a small area of land by the childrens play area and quickly relieved us of €18 for the nights stay. Feeling thankful that we only had a tiny tent and did not require electricity, Lorraine and I set up camp.

For the life of me I could not see why anyone would choose to stay on that overcrowded site, the tents were literally on top of each other. From a potential owners perspective though, it looked like a goldmine.

After pitching the tent Lorraine went to freshen up and I wandered off to pinch a patio chair, seating being another luxury that we had forgone.

While I lounged and swigged a can of Red Bull, coffee and the means to make it being yet more items not in our luggage, I noticed a chap studying me. 'Hi' I greeted him with my best European inflection (this works well on all nationalities bar the French who just curl their lip and ignore you).
'You come from Preston' he queried pointing at our number plate. 
'Yes, we are just having an overnight break in our journey.'
The Dutch gent said 'you look like a man who needs a cup of coffee' and proceeded to lead me to his tent, which was massive.

Once we were ensconced with steaming brews to hand he told me the following tale.

A year ago his wife had been diagnosed with MS and a few weeks later he had been made redundant. With all this they had decided that they could not afford their annual holiday to this camp site. In January the site owners had contacted him to ask if he had forgotten to book for the summer, On hearing their sorry tale the owner said 'I will book you in, just pay me when you can.'

I remarked on the kindness shown by the owners and was told by my new best friend that the owners knew all the campers because everyone lived in the same area of a small Dutch town. So I quickly deduced that the 'goodwill' of the camp site was totally worthless to a new English owner.

Thanking the couple for the coffee I went to update Lorraine on this rather worrying development and found her having a coffeee with another Dutch family. It turned out that they lived two doors away from my coffee providers.

Coffee finished and Lorraine and I went to look for the Olympic sized swimming pool which turned out to be surprisingly absent. Further questioning revealed that this mega pool did not belong to the camp site, nor was it even on the camp site. The pool was a municipal possession located about 300 metres outside the camp site.

'Sod this for a game of soldiers' I remarked, 'let's find the bar because the only way we will get any sleep in this place is by drinking a lot of wine.' Well, guess what, no bar and no alcohol license. The lady owner offered to illegally fill some empty water bottles with the old vin rouge. 'Yes we have been selling wine without a license for years' she trilled.

The next morning I tried to visualise the site without any guests staying there. There would be a very small chalet for the owners (no toilet or bathroom) and a toilet/shower block, again just a large wooden shed with no privacy whatsoever. The area of land could hardy have been more than an acre and a half, I would guess that the legal number of pitches allowed to be 40 maximum, certainly not the 120 that were there during our visit.

To be fair there was a brick pizza oven but €350 000 is a lot of dosh for a freshly baked pizza. We hastily packed up the car and set off for the first of two viewings that we had organised along the route to our house in Chateauponsac.

All I will say about the two visits is; the first one consisted of what I can only describe as down market breeze block student accommodation which even a Frenchman would refuse to stay in.

The second one was absolutely useless as a camp site but the vendor was a joy to meet. Before we had even exited the car a man in his late sixties charged over and said 'well what do you think then?'

'Well it would help me answer that question if I could see the camping field.'

'You are standing in it' he cried. This was an area about 100 metres by 30 metres with a collapsing caravan and a moldering static caravan parked along one boundary.

This completely bonkers bloke took us on a tour of the outdoor area of his little piece (to him if no one else) of heaven. 'here is the barn' he exclaimed, 'about to fall down but ok for storing logs in.' Next the workshop 'it only floods when it rains', I find it very difficult to find a reply to comments like that so just followed him around with a sickly grin plastered across my face.

Inviting us into his house we were given a quick tour, 'don't use that socket or you will get an electric shock, this is the shower, it doesn't work' and so on.

Taking us into the lounge, he introduced us to his lady wife and asked if we would like a drink, seeing us nod enthusiastically he sprung across the room and threw open wooden cupboard doors to reveal an extensive and well stocked bar. This was obviously a gentleman only allowed to drink during the day when guests were present. How his face fell when we explained that a cup of tea would really hit the spot.

I gently broke the news that his camp site, only licensed for 6 pitches, was not really what we were looking for. He replied by telling me that a single lady in her fifties was very keen to buy but he had repeatedly told her that she could not possibly manage it on her own.

Rising to our feet we bade this charming, although dotty couple, the best of luck with selling their place, 'but are you coming back tomorrow to have another look around' our new friend queried.

After explaining that only the sheer volume of planned visits prevented a return on the morrow, we literally ran back to the car and headed to Chateauponsac and relative sanity.

To be continued probably on Monday 14th.

ps I have just looked up the camp site in Burgundy without a pool, bar or just about anything and it is still up for sale. Unsurprisingly.


----------



## campsitewriter

barryd said:


> Can't wait for the next instalment. The more I hear about buying anything in France though the more I am off by the burocracy and faffing around that seems involved with any purchase. It's like they don't want to sell you stuff. How the hell are you supposed to asses a campsite if you can't view it in full swing and have to resort to going undercover?
> 
> Good idea that though.


France is a strange place although to be fair once the paperwork is done they tend to leave you alone, unlike the constant nannying and nagging in the UK.


----------



## HarleyDave

Loving the story - have a good weekend and see you again on Monday

Cheers

Dave


----------



## MEES

Loving it too more please


----------



## ChrisandJohn

barryd said:


> Why would anyone get upset about Topless Girls? No, really, why would they?


I wouldn't get at all upset about topless girls, or women, of whatever age, size or shape. I've done it myself, including feeding babies in public (which some, who are quite prepared to oogle, seem to object to). I just wonder what double standards there might be going on here? I might be wrong of course but I'm sure there are many quite content to joke and oogle but wouldn't be happy for other elderly men to leer at their daughters and granddaughters.

Girls and women should be free to enjoy the sun and fresh air on their skin without being oogled at or judged.

No apologies for being an old-fashioned feminist. Glad to see it is returning with a new generation prepared to speak out from their present day perspectives.

Chris


----------



## MEES

Hi Chris
When younger and a lot slimmer I too liked to sunbath and swim topless or naked ( in isolated pools.
However recent visits ( accidental) to nudist beaches have noticed that a number of elderly wrinkly old men seem to need to parade about at the waters edge surveying the usually young attractive women sunbathing.
Of course should said men be young and attractive I would enjoy the scenery myself 
Margaret


----------



## barryd

I wonder if some women have double standards to be honest. It seems ok to be ogled by young attractive blokes but old farts shouldnt be looking at naked women it seems. Bit ageist if you ask me. Not that Im an old fart of course as Im just a young slip of a thing me.


----------



## Pudsey_Bear

barryd said:


> I wonder if some women have double standards to be honest.


I thought they all did > >


----------



## MEES

Don t we all.
The. Likelihood of most of us being ogled at naked by young or old is possibly rather remote )
Unless gazing in amazement!


----------



## GMJ

Kev_n_Liz said:


> I thought they all did > >


I got it Kev...you naughty boy! :grin2:

Graham :smile2:


----------



## HermanHymer

Alice, at the age of 82, liked to recapture the pranks of her youth by streaking in the old age home.

Mabel and Margaret, sitting in the lounge, glimpsed Alice as she sprinted past the doorway. "What on earth is Alice wearing today?" exclaimed Mabel. "Dunno" replied Margaret, "but it sure needs ironing!"


----------



## Pudsey_Bear

We could start a campaign to start ogling naked wrinklies I suppose, more scope for that on here.


----------



## campsitewriter

Kev_n_Liz said:


> We could start a campaign to start ogling naked wrinklies I suppose, more scope for that on here.


Thank **** I didn't buy a naturist camp site!


----------



## Pudsey_Bear

campsitewriter said:


> Thank **** I didn't buy a naturist camp site!


Now that smacks slightly of untruth :wink2::wink2::laugh::laugh::surprise::surprise:


----------



## MEES

Maybe we could have a specialist meet at your site


----------



## pippin

Put me down (no, not by the vet!) first on the volunteer marshal list.

I shall wear dark glasses and use a white stick!


----------



## campsitewriter

MEES said:


> Maybe we could have a specialist meet at your site


If a load of you want a specialist (or any type) of meet at the campsite you would be very welcome. If you want a naturist meet I would need a fair number of you as I would obviously close the site to textiles. I would also need a quick answer as bookings are starting to come in now and I can't unbook people in all fairness to them. 9th July- 21st August has quite a number of bookings so ideally by end of June and or after end August. Might be a little nippy at nights though!


----------



## GMJ

I think they are taking the pee tbh...bunch of old pervies >

Graham :grin2:


----------



## Pudsey_Bear

I do hope you have plenty of well placed HD CCTV cameras, I could do with a good laugh > >


----------



## gaspode

campsitewriter said:


> 9th July- 21st August has quite a number of bookings so ideally by end of June and or after end August. Might be a little nippy at nights though!


Don't worry about bookings, most of us never book anything.

All sensible motorhomers AVOID France in July and August (too many ankle snappers) so any visitations would most likely be in June or September - the civilised months.

We may well pop in to see you sometime in either of those months.


----------



## campsitewriter

MEES said:


> Loving it too more please


I will labour on with the original post ie how we came to buy a French campsite, in spite of all the attempts to derail the thread into the realms of naturism. I will say that I would have been happy to buy a naturist site if it appeared to be the best buy so to speak.

Although one may think France would be awash with camp sites up for sale this is not the case.

Prices for sites range from the small (6 places) at anything from €100 000 to the monsters on the coast priced in the millions.

The very small sites are usually just run as a hobby by sociable people wanting to meet folk and earn enough to pay their local taxes and perhaps the electric bills.

We were looking for somewhere that could earn us a living but obviously we had a budget. Many sites in our price range had a beautiful house but only a very limited area for camping.

We were more interested in the option of a decent site and worry about where to live afterwards. Which probably explains why I live in a static caravan for much of the year.

So back to search for a camp site. I will not bore you with the many disaster areas (sorry, sites) for sale that we viewed over a 12 month period, suffice to say they would not be places that I would pick to spend a night, never mind to purchase.

In May 2014 we once again set off to France to see two likely looking places as well as a few lucky dips. The first viewing was in Brittany on the coast near Douarnenez. This was not a camp site that was for sale but a company that had about 25 static caravans on a large site. This was not really the sort of business that we had planned to buy but was certainly worth looking at.

Everything on this huge site was pruned and trimmed to within an inch of its life. The place even had its own little train to take visitors on tours. To cap it all there was a 6 acre water park for guests.

As said, we were not looking for this type of business but the profits to be made were amazing. The owners lent us a caravan to stay in for a few days so that we could see exactly how they ran the business. This was starting to look like a goer.

After a couple of days spent braving rather horrible weather in Brittany, we set off to our house in Chateauponsac where we planned to stay for a couple of days before venturing into the wilds of the Auvergne to see the next contender for the contents of our bank account.

Two days later we programmed 'Braize 03360' into the trusty sat nav and set off once again. All went well until the last mile or so, 'turn left in 300 yards' Muriel the sat nav lady commanded. There was indeed a sign announcing 'Camping Champ de la Chapelle' but the road looked rather dodgy to say rhe least.

Working on the theory that it is no use keeping a dog and barking yourself, we complied with the directions issued by Muriel and crashed along a forest logging trail which eventually brought us to the camp site. Thank goodness we were driving a hire car.

Driving towards the camp reception we espied a lady who looked rather like a camp site owner and exiting the car, we went to introduce ourselves. Liesbeth was indeed one half of the couple that owned the site and she regarded the pair of us with a doubtful expression.

'You should not have come on that road into the camp site, there is a proper road ypu should have used instead'. This was quickly followed by 'how old are you' and on hearing we were in our mid fifties she snorted (later we discovered that she was a very good snorter and could express a whole range of emotions by simply snorting) and declared that 'you are far to old to run a camp site.'

Yet again a vendor in France trying to discourage a potential buyer, possibly this is why the property market in France is stagnating. 'You can't buy my house because you have a silly haircut/ wrong colour of shoes/ it is a month with an 'R' in it' etc.

After checking that our aged bodies were up to it, Liesbeth grudgingly offered to show us round the camp site. By this time I had already decided that this was the place for me and, looking at Lorraine I could seetrhat she also was captivated by the place.

Well after having a jolly good poke around and attempting to persuade Liesbeth that I was not as old as I looked (I blamed the premature aging on a hard paper round in my formative years) we returned to Chateauponsac in excellent spirits.

Discussing the two latest sites that we had visited, we made a list of their strong and weak points. One was a successful business fully booked up for the summer season and based in a major tourist area and the other a failing venture set amongst the wilds of the Auvergne. There really was no choice to our minds, we wanted the Auvergne camp site, bankruptcy beckoned


----------



## campsitewriter

Kev_n_Liz said:


> I do hope you have plenty of well placed HD CCTV cameras, I could do with a good laugh > >


Telescopic lens with super zoom feature as well


----------



## campsitewriter

GMJ said:


> I think they are taking the pee tbh...bunch of old pervies >
> 
> Graham :grin2:


I know, so am I but was hoping for some footage to sell to 'You've been framed'


----------



## campsitewriter

gaspode said:


> Don't worry about bookings, most of us never book anything.
> 
> All sensible motorhomers AVOID France in July and August (too many ankle snappers) so any visitations would most likely be in June or September - the civilised months.
> 
> We may well pop in to see you sometime in either of those months.


I will look forward to hopefully meeting you


----------



## campsitewriter

Kev_n_Liz said:


> We could start a campaign to start ogling naked wrinklies I suppose, more scope for that on here.


Or then again perhaps not


----------



## Pudsey_Bear

There's nowt wrong Wi a bloody good ogle I'll Ave ya know, been doing it man n boy all my life :>)


----------



## pippin

I am so famous that the paparazzi would have a field day selling the photos of me _au naturelle_ to the papers!

I am really enjoying reading this saga and it makes me want to visit your site - textiled with the option of discarding.

Perhaps leaving it to next year would give you time to get the (inevitable) red-tape sorted out and for us to organise a meet.


----------



## Pudsey_Bear

Delusions of adequacy.


----------



## campsitewriter

pippin said:


> I am so famous that the paparazzi would have a field day selling the photos of me _au naturelle_ to the papers!
> 
> I am really enjoying reading this saga and it makes me want to visit your site - textiled with the option of discarding.
> 
> Perhaps leaving it to next year would give you time to get the (inevitable) red-tape sorted out and for us to organise a meet.


Er red tape? Is this MHF red tape or do you use use red tape for binding your wrinkly bits, in France there is no red tape LOL


----------



## campsitewriter

Kev_n_Liz said:


> Delusions of adequacy.


Are motorhomes like cars ie if you drive a big powerful car received wisdom has it that the owner will have a small 'starting handle'


----------



## campsitewriter

pippin said:


> I am so famous that the paparazzi would have a field day selling the photos of me _au naturelle_ to the papers!
> 
> I am really enjoying reading this saga and it makes me want to visit your site - textiled with the option of discarding.
> 
> Perhaps leaving it to next year would give you time to get the (inevitable) red-tape sorted out and for us to organise a meet.


Was that the rent boy scandal that propelled you to fame or am I thinking of someone else?


----------



## pippin

Red tape in France aka greasing the palms at the local _Mairie_.

I can hear it now:

"_Le Camping nudisme Monsieur?_" (sound of sucking of teeth)
"_Vous devez disposer d'un permis spécial, mais peut-être je peux vous aider ..........?_" (Raised eyebrow)

"_Et aussi la gendarmerie et la police nationale!_" (shrug of shoulders and wink, wink)

Don't forget that the word bureaucracy was invented by the French _(bureaucratie)_.


----------



## campsitewriter

campsitewriter said:


> Was that the rent boy scandal that propelled you to fame or am I thinking of someone else?


Anyway back to the camp site saga which a number of you seem to enjoy.

I was planning to head back to France tomorrow but yesterday I went to see a consultant about the results of a lot of X-rays and scans on my lower back. I had an op on my back last April but that was not entirely successful and I have been in agony ever since.

Well yesterday the consultant said 'I might be able to schedule an op for the 23rd of March' which came as a bolt out of the blue. So I am sitting here munching paracetamols and waiting to find out whether I will be driving to France tomorrow or not. This is rather unsettling, so while waiting for the phone to ring I shall compose some more prose.

We left the last chapter with Lorraine and I deciding to take the foolish option of buying the most expensive and least profitable of the two camp sites. We are not completely daft (?), the site in the Auvergne did mean that we would own land whereas the Brittany site left us at the mercy of the owner.

Now a funny thing happened. After all the excitement of viewing camp sites seemed to be over, we were now at the point of having to decide to make an offer. Suddenly this exercise became rather scary.

After a bit of research we discovered that there were no other offers on the table and decided that we would play the waiting game for a while. Another visit to the site was called for but this time we would be accompanied by our 18 year old daughter and her friend Anna.

Putting this plan into action, I contacted the owners and booked a pitch for July. Risking a court martial, I spoke to the owners direct and asked them to inform us of any developments vis a vis other offers

I can almost hear you chaps and chapesses saying 'why all the faffing about when you say that you have finally found the perfect camp site?'

The simple, unvarnished truth is that we were both frightened of making such a big commitment and just needed time to think it through properly. This reminded me of the time we watched that programme 'A place in Spain.'

We caught up with this splendid bit of telly a number of years ago when episodes were shown back to back from about 10 pm until 2 am. A Welsh chap and his girlfriend were hunting for a property in Spain where they could start a snail farm. They traipsed backwards and forwards endlessly looking at places across the length and breadth of Spain.

Nothing was ever right, the house would be too large/ too small, it would be North facing rather than any other direction and so on and so forth. We thought that they were barmy or possibly that this property search was just a hobby, albeit a pretty expensive one.

Now faced with the prospect of having to put my money where my mouth is, I suddenly realised that the Welsh couple had also been having second thoughts and getting cold feet when the time arrived to make the big decision.

So the idea of putting off making an offer for a couple of months cheered us immensely.

So if the op is on I will be back here tomorrow or if not on I will be driving to France. So if I don,t report in for a few days please don't get angry.


----------



## barryd

Blimey Simon! Running a campsite with back problems? I hope you get sorted. You have my deepest sympathy, there is nothing worse.

I see from your responses to Pippin and Kev that your time on Fruitcakes has not been wasted.


----------



## campsitewriter

pippin said:


> Red tape in France aka greasing the palms at the local _Mairie_.
> 
> I can hear it now:
> 
> "_Le Camping nudisme Monsieur?_" (sound of sucking of teeth)
> "_Vous devez disposer d'un permis spécial, mais peut-être je peux vous aider ..........?_" (Raised eyebrow)
> 
> "_Et aussi la gendarmerie et la police nationale!_" (shrug of shoulders and wink, wink)
> 
> Don't forget that the word bureaucracy was invented by the French _(bureaucratie)_.


Paperwork keeps many otherwise unemployable French men and women in a secure 'job for life'. Without this, the unemployment rate in France would dwarf that of Greece

Live by the pape


----------



## Pudsey_Bear

campsitewriter said:


> So if I don,t report in for a few days please don't get angry.


Us, get angry, what makes you think that, you've only seen the nice side of us so far :roll: :roll:


----------



## campsitewriter

barryd said:


> Blimey Simon! Running a campsite with back problems? I hope you get sorted. You have my deepest sympathy, there is nothing worse.
> 
> I see from your responses to Pippin and Kev that your time on Fruitcakes has not been wasted.


time spent with fruitcakes is time that is not wasted LOL


----------



## Pudsey_Bear

barryd said:


> Blimey Simon! Running a campsite with back problems? I hope you get sorted. You have my deepest sympathy, there is nothing worse.
> 
> I see from your responses to Pippin and Kev that your time on Fruitcakes has not been wasted.


Aw, you've not had him on there have you, crap, another MHeifer ruined


----------



## campsitewriter

Kev_n_Liz said:


> Us, get angry, what makes you think that, you've only seen the nice side of us so far :roll: :roll:


Wow, you hard ****ers. I would not like to meet you down a dark alley, not that I frequent dark alleyways (keep digging, the hole is getting deeper) obviously I might occasionally use one as a short cut but.....


----------



## campsitewriter

Kev_n_Liz said:


> Aw, you've not had him on there have you, crap, another MHeifer ruined


The fruitcakes taught me all they know and now I know nowt


----------



## Pudsey_Bear

campsitewriter said:


> The fruitcakes taught me all they know and now I know nowt


Sounds about right, I knew a lot more before I went over there.


----------



## campsitewriter

Kev_n_Liz said:


> Sounds about right, I knew a lot more before I went over there.


Is "over there" what is usually known as the dark side>


----------



## Pudsey_Bear

campsitewriter said:


> Is "over there" what is usually known as the dark side>


No, that's fun, not sure which adjective might describe FC, so suggestions required > >

1st prize = a week at Tugboat towers, 2nd prize 2 weeks at Tugboat towers


----------



## campsitewriter

Smelly??


----------



## campsitewriter

barryd said:


> Blimey Simon! Running a campsite with back problems? I hope you get sorted. You have my deepest sympathy, there is nothing worse.
> 
> I see from your responses to Pippin and Kev that your time on Fruitcakes has not been wasted.


Back injury caused by bending over backwards to please campers (no smutty interpretations of this statement please)


----------



## barryd

Kev_n_Liz said:


> No, that's fun, not sure which adjective might describe FC, so suggestions required > >
> 
> 1st prize = a week at Tugboat towers, 2nd prize 2 weeks at Tugboat towers


I thought MotorhomeFacts was "The Dark Side"! 

So we are not the Dark Side? Im off then. I wear a Darth Vader mask everytime I post. Got the funny breathing and everything. Thats that ruined then.


----------



## barryd

I might add that I spent 8 days at Tugboat Towers last February. I had a flipping great time. I think Tuggers is still having counselling though.


----------



## campsitewriter

barryd said:


> I thought MotorhomeFacts was "The Dark Side"!
> 
> So we are not the Dark Side? Im off then. I wear a Darth Vader mask everytime I post. Got the funny breathing and everything. Thats that ruined then.


I wondered who had been making those funny phone calls, please continue I quite enjoy them


----------



## tugboat

barryd said:


> I might add that I spent 8 days at Tugboat Towers last February. I had a flipping great time. I think Tuggers is still having counselling though.


Was it only 8 days? Felt a darned sight longer to me. And the insurance still haven't paid out for the redecorating I had to do. Harumph.


----------



## Pudsey_Bear

tugboat said:


> Was it only 8 days? Felt a darned sight longer to me. And the insurance still haven't paid out for the redecorating I had to do. Harumph.


I've often wondered what you two actually did for 8 days, was any of it sober/remembered/printable?


----------



## barryd

Kev_n_Liz said:


> I've often wondered what you two actually did for 8 days, was any of it sober/remembered/printable?


We cant talk about it. Official secrets act and all that. We could tell you but then we would have to kill you. We might have to kill you anyway, just in case.


----------



## tugboat

Let's just say that our WI SAS training came in very useful.


----------



## campsitewriter

barryd said:


> We cant talk about it. Official secrets act and all that. We could tell you but then we would have to kill you. We might have to kill you anyway, just in case.


G'day y'all
If you have being paying attention, you boy, yes you at the back, sit up and stop picking your nose, you may recall that today I should be setting off for France. As I am scribbling away dear reader you may think that I am unbelievably good at multi tasking or more likely that I have not departed for France.

Yesterday I received a phone call informing me that I am scheduled for spinal surgery on 23rd March, so I will be in Blighty for a little while yet.

And so, back to the camp site saga.

Yesterday I reported how we had made our first visit to the camp site at Braize and met the owners, Ibele and Liesbeth.

After being told that we were too old and feeble to run a camp site Liesbeth had given us the quick tour and then shunted us off. What had surprised me was that the rather scary and controlling Dutch sales agent had never shown his face. These lads charge the vendors around 20% commission to sell a business but up to now had seemed to do remarkably little to earn their wad.

So after our viewing we sat back and did nowt until our stay at the camp site planned for July.

Finally the date for departure arrived and Lorraine and I set off with a car loaded to the gunnels with our 18 year old daughter Megan and her best friend Anna. The two girls didn't take up much room but their luggage certainly did, somehow every last item of makeup was squeezed into the car and off we went.

The master plan went something along the lines of, go to our house in the Limousin and stay there for a few days. This time would be spent relaxing after the journey and catching up with friends. Well that was the plan for Lorraine, muggins had about 115 metres of garden hedge to cut and various other little jobs.

Fortunately we had shared the driving, Lorraine had the difficult task of telling me that I was not driving to her satisfaction, I merely had to steer the car for 726 miles. This of course meant that I would be bright as a button on arrival at chez moi and ready to plunge into work around the extensive garden.

Part two of said master plan was to pack up the car with a couple of tents and other camping sundries and head off to the camp site for a 4 or 5 day stay. Lorraine and I would share a tent borrowed from the local Girl Guide group and Megan and Anna would share the £10 festival tent that we had used when staying on the camp site in Burgundy the previous year.

On arrival at Champ de la Chapelle, Liesbeth met us in the reception and whispering in her best secret agent voice asked that we be discrete and not let the guests know that the site was up for sale.

This deception was never going to work. The type of tents that we erected and our general lack of pukka camping gear were bound to give the proper campers pause for thought. The real giveaway though was our two girls, I had suggested that they lay the makeup on with a light touch but their stiletto heels really blew our cover.

Lorraine and I set off to wander, separately, around the camp site and to hopefully fall into casual conversation with unsuspecting guests.

Just beyond our pitch a British couple with 4 young children had set up a magnificent tent fully loaded with every conceivable aid to ease and luxury. They had even brought a small cycle rack to lay on the ground for neat and tidy bike parking. We, in comparison, looked like particularly poor, new age travelers.

'Hi' I greeted the fellow Brit with my all purpose European inflection, it sort of sounds like a Dutchman saying hi and generally works fairly well when trying to conceal ones roots.

'Hi yourself' he replied,'what are you lot up to then, you certainly aren't proper campers.'

I had my cover story ready 'oh nothing sinister, we are just breaking a long journey and thought it would be fun to try camping for a few nights.'

'Bo***cks' he replied.

'Well actually we are looking to buy a camp site and we like this one so thought that we would have a quick recce.'

'Bo***cks' he replied, 'anyway are you enjoying your stay?'

'Not too sure' I replied 'what do you reckon to it?'

To cut a long story short, the guy loved it, his kids loved it and his wife could not wait to leave. He explained that they planned a week here and then a week on a large site on the coast. 'She loves the night clubs and bars' he sighed, 'this place is a bit quiet for her.'

Meanwhile Lorraine had been chatting to a Dutch lady staying on the site for two weeks with her family. This lady had stayed on this camp site about 10 years previously when it was owned by a French couple. Again they had booked for two weeks but left after only 2 nights.

'The toilets were never cleaned, the dish washing area was caked with dried on scraps of food, it was awful so we left.'

When quizzed as to why she had dared to return, she had a simple answer. The family had loved the location of the site and on hearing that a Dutch couple had taken over, decided to give it a second chance.

This was music to our ears, we had been right in our original assessment of the site, it really was in a lovely setting and well laid out. Having said that we could also see that a lot of work needed doing to bring it up to the standard expected by campers in this day and age.

As I said to Lorraine 'we must buy it, what could possibly go wrong?'


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## cabby

That line must be one of the most famous ever uttered.:grin2::grin2:

cabby


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## campsitewriter

cabby said:


> That line must be one of the most famous ever uttered.:grin2::grin2:
> 
> cabby


Bearing in mind that my camp site adjoins a 30 000 acre forest, my personal favorite quote was from my nice French lady accountant, who on looking at the first years dire trading report for the camp site said 'as you say in England, you are not out of the woods yet.'


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## Pudsey_Bear

barryd said:


> We cant talk about it. Official secrets act and all that. We could tell you but then we would have to kill you. We might have to kill you anyway, just in case.


Bring it on :roll: :roll:


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## cabby

I do hope your accountant is not barking up the wrong tree there.

cabby


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## eurajohn

I'm guessing that you are in the French system?
Why on earth are you getting involved with the UK health service when the French one is most definitely superior??
.


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## campsitewriter

eurajohn said:


> I'm guessing that you are in the French system?
> Why on earth are you getting involved with the UK health service when the French one is most definitely superior??
> .


makes it a bit difficult for recuperation as my wife is still working in the UK until we start earning some money in France


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## campsitewriter

cabby said:


> I do hope your accountant is not barking up the wrong tree there.
> 
> cabby


No, she just said 'leaf your books wis me and that she wood sort everycing out'


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## MEES

Great story.
Where are you having your op?
Good luck 
Margaret


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## campsitewriter

MEES said:


> Great story.
> Where are you having your op?
> Good luck
> Margaret


Beardwood hospital in Blackburn and thanks for the good wishes

We have a competition going on our facebook page Camping Champ

de la Chapelle If you visit and like it we are having a raffle and the prize is

(drumroll) a free pitch with electric for a weeks stay

Please spread the word

This is probably breaking some forum rules but it is for the benefit of members


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## cabby

Yes you are pushing the boundaries rather hard with that last post.

Did your accountant twig that you had not done this before, that you had gone out on a limb.
Ok no moreI will bough out disgracefully.

cabby


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## campsitewriter

cabby said:


> Yes you are pushing the boundaries rather hard with that last post.
> 
> Did your accountant twig that you had not done this before, that you had gone out on a limb.
> Ok no moreI will bough out disgracefully.
> 
> cabby


You are absolutely right, we need to stop rooting around and branch out in a different direction. Keep this up and we could conker the world or is that just nuts, I'm stumped if I can think up any more tree related nonsense.


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## MEES

We are not too far away if you need any help !


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## campsitewriter

MEES said:


> We are not too far away if you need any help !


Thank you. Is that faraway in the UK or in France?


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## campsitewriter

campsitewriter said:


> Thank you. Is that faraway in the UK or in France?


I thought that today I would give you a well deserved break from the camp site saga and keep this short as I am due to go for my pre op today.

Yesterday I received the camp site accounts for the first 12 months of operation under President Simon (yes I am a president, Lorraine however does not qualify for the title of First Lady, much to her dismay).

As expected they show a humongous loss, this due to less visitors than expected and high start up costs.

Now in the much maligned UK, a business losing money will be able to put the losses against future income for tax purposes. In France this is also permissible but with a Gallic twist.

If you make losses above a certain percentage of the business capital, the company must inform the "Tribunal de commerce" for which you will then be charged roughly €1000.

So to summarise, in France if you make a loss you will pay dearly but Lord help you if you make a profit, they will take the lot.

So if you ever wondered why the French economy is in the doldrums look no further


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## barryd

Good luck with the OP Simon, I hope all goes well for you.


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## cabby

Yes good luck with the op, 

cabby.


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## Pudsey_Bear

Yup, same goes from up here where the proper folk live.


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## tugboat

Enjoying this thread immensely. A breath of fresh air. Good Fruitcakey humour too.

Best wishes for a successful op and speedy recovery, Simon.


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## GMJ

Good luck :smile2:

Graham :smile2:


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## MEES

Sadly uk


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## campsitewriter

MEES said:


> Sadly uk


come and live on the campsite then, special rates for long term residents


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## Landyman

Just catching up with this thread and am enjoying it immensely.

Some great humour from everyone, so keep it up folks.

Will definitely come and find your site at some stage Simon and good luck with the op.


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## campsitewriter

Landyman said:


> Just catching up with this thread and am enjoying it immensely.
> 
> Some great humour from everyone, so keep it up folks.
> 
> Will definitely come and find your site at some stage Simon and good luck with the op.


Thanks for the support.

Well I had my pre op checkup the other day. Why do medical people always look so disappointed when all your vital signs are absolutely fine?

Anyway back to the continuing camp site sage.

The last proper bit of the story ended with the famous words 'what could possibly go wrong?'

Well after our rather wet stay at the camp site with the two teenagers, we sat down to discuss the pros and cons of Champ de la Chapelle.

The list of good things included
1. A beautiful setting and plenty of space on the site, 16 acres and only 82 pitches.
2. A hoped for reduction in the purchase price due to the fact that we would agree to keep the present owners on and let them stay in their chalet until their retirement age three years hence
3. Because of the above we would have people that know how the infrastructure of the site functioned. I had looked at the front door sized main fuse box with horror. So far as I am concerned electricity is nasty stuff that bites.

The list of worrisome items included
1. A big site that would need a lot of maintenance and with a fair bit of smartening up to do.
2. Having to employ the previous owners. I was well aware that this would be a two edged sword.
3. The present owners were selling because they could not make enough income from the site, would we be able to do any better?

So the real biggie was 'would we be able to increase turnover or would we be selling a year or two down the line?'

Questioning our daughter Megan and her friend Anna, we discovered that they liked the swimming pool but otherwise felt there was little to amuse anyone between the ages of 3 and 20 years.

For ourselves we felt that the services provided by the 'Dutchies' covered basic needs, the sanitary facilities were kept spotless and all the electric hookups worked (with the correct polarity, so no discussion about that please). But the extra bits that make a really good stay were missing.

A quick example of this was the evening walk through the forest. During the high season Liesbeth organises a walk along the forest trails (this is free to guests by the way) and then cuts off up a path to some higher land that rises above the trees. Once there the walkers can admire the view and watch the sunset, it's very pleasant and if any of you come and visit please give it a try.

After the sun has disappeared and darkness closes in, and believe me there are few places as dark as rural France, Liesbeth leads the campers back home. Just to make it a little more interesting she leaves the proper trail and goes cross country ie through the virgin forest. Everyone seems to like this but it is not to be attempted without a guide.

Lorraine, myself and the two girls joined this mini expedition and as we emerged from the forest onto the road leading to the camp site I rubbed my hands together and suggested a few cold ones from the bar would go down rather nicely.

On arrival at the camp site there was a crackling fire burning and chairs arranged around this jolly blaze, I could almost taste the beer.

'OK everybody here are some drinks of orange juice and some crisps for you'. My eyes strayed towards the bar, quelle horreur, it was closed, the shutters were shut, the lights were off, oh bugger.

Reluctantly I picked up a paper cup of orange juice and took a hefty swig. Hells bells it tasted liked cats wee, I could hardly swallow the vile brew.

Liesbeth sat us down around the campfire and said the dreaded words, 'has anybody got a guitar?'

I bloody hate this because it is always the people who can neither sing nor play that always leap to their feet exclaiming 'me, me.'

Very shortly after the 'entertainment' commenced we returned to our tent to escape the sound of discordant singing and ham-fisted guitar playing.

Lorraine and I felt that this was a missed opportunity, the bar should have been open, I for one would have made it worth their effort.

I later found out why the free drinks of orange juice tasted so awful; in order to reduce the cost of this freebie, the Dutchies bought 'Top Budget' orange juice that was ready to drink. To keep the cost down they then diluted it litre for litre with water, hence the horrible taste.

I was to quickly find that this was their preferred modus operandi. The orange juice cost 70 cents for two litres, they needed 4 litres to give everyone a drink. You can see where this is going (downhill). So by this nifty little ploy they saved 70 cents.

As an aside, when Lorraine and I took over we tried something different. On the first evening walk of the season, I packed Liesbeth off with about 30 people following her. At 9 o clock I would light the campfire and Liesbeth thought that I would be preparing 30 paper cups of cats p**s for the return.

Ibele, the male Dutchie, oversaw me lighting the fire as he laid out 30 cups, 'oh by the way, you will only need 11 cups' I announced. Shaking his head he pointed out that 30 people had set off and we rarely lost more than a couple to the local wildlife.

'Not tonight matey, only the kids get the orange juice, the adults can buy a drink at the bar.' This statement was met with another doubtful shake of the head, 'the campers won't like it' he muttered.

Well to cut a long story short, the campers loved it and the bar took 200 euros in short time. The best bit, for me, was when a Dutch chap said 'thank God we didn't have to drink that foul orange juice this year. I only came along because my wife made me, we did the walk last time we stayed here and the memory of that weak juice has haunted me ever since.'

I included that little tale to illustrate what we thought was wrong with the camp site. This was one of many similar issues that we felt needed changing.

Our minds were made up, we would return to the UK and prepare a proper offer for the site. Once again, what could possibly go wrong?


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## Pudsey_Bear

I wonder if our Barry will dare to stand up now after the advance castigation > > 

To be fair his stuff does get better towards the end of each piece he posts


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## cabby

I do enjoy the tales, am feeling a little sorry for them. I wonder if they upped the price to get rid of the residents.>>

cabby


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## barryd

Take no notice of Kev Simon. I am a professional Musician. I shall bring the Fruitcakes band. No, dont thank me.


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## JanHank

Just catching up again Simon, super story.
Sorry to hear about your back problem and hope all goes well with the operation on the 23rd.
BTW, being the poet, I´ll write the fruitcake songs for Tugs to sing.
Jan
P.S. Mildred sends her best wishes as well.


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## TeamRienza

Hi Jan,

You even got a lick here.

Davy


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## pippin

Some silly clot asked:

*"Where are you having your op?"*

Have you not been following the thread?

One generally has a SPINAL op actually on the SPINE, which is (as I hope every orthopaedic surgeon knows) on ones BACK!!!


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## cabby

Maybe they meant which hospital, or did you not think about that.No oh well never mind.

cabby


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## pippin

Oh - silly, silly me!

_Tant pis!_


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## cabby

Nah not really, you should read some of the things I have posted without thinking, but then again I would rather you did'nt.>>

cabby


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## campsitewriter

barryd said:


> Take no notice of Kev Simon. I am a professional Musician. I shall bring the Fruitcakes band. No, dont thank me.


I certainly won't, its hard enough getting people there without frightening them off once we have them on site


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## campsitewriter

JanHank said:


> Just catching up again Simon, super story.
> Sorry to hear about your back problem and hope all goes well with the operation on the 23rd.
> BTW, being the poet, I´ll write the fruitcake songs for Tugs to sing.
> Jan
> P.S. Mildred sends her best wishes as well.


Thanks Jan/Mildred
ps my sat nav lady is called Mildred, do you know each other


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## Pudsey_Bear

barryd said:


> Take no notice of Kev Simon. I am a professional Musician. I shall bring the Fruitcakes band. No, dont thank me.


You go for it wannabe Barry > > I'll bring the ear defenders, £29.99 a throw, I should clean up.


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## Pudsey_Bear

TeamRienza said:


> Hi Jan,
> 
> You even got a lick here.
> 
> Davy


Is that proper etiquette, I mean licking old folk of the lady persuasion, not really cricket is it old chap.


----------



## Pudsey_Bear

cabby said:


> Nah not really, you should read some of the things I have posted without thinking, but then again I would rather you did'nt.>>
> 
> cabby


Hmph, I thought all your posts were done like that > > >


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## JanHank

Kev_n_Liz said:


> Is that proper etiquette, I mean licking old folk of the lady persuasion, not really cricket is it old chap.


Oi! Who's old, I could still give you a good slap  run for yer money.


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## JanHank

TeamRienza said:


> Hi Jan,
> 
> You even got a lick here.
> 
> Davy


Oooh thanks Davy, I was in bed at the time, t'was luveley


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## Pudsey_Bear

JanHank said:


> Oi! Who's old, I could still give you a good slap  run for yer money.


Sorry I was using your own words against you, I retract old, still works for me though.


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## JanHank

campsitewriter said:


> Thanks Jan/Mildred
> ps my sat nav lady is called Mildred, do you know each other


If she misleads you, yes >


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## campsitewriter

JanHank said:


> If she misleads you, yes >


That's the one, she drinks as well


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## Pudsey_Bear

Yup, same bod


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## campsitewriter

Kev_n_Liz said:


> Yup, same bod


Well now I know why my sat nav doesn't always work, that tarty woman in it has gone off with one of you chaps, mind you she is never very happy when she returns so maybe you need to up your act a bit.

My poor wife has been held up on her return from Stafford today by that horrendous wagon pile up, there will be some grieving families tonight.

Anyway as the devil finds work for idle hands, I thought that I would get ahead of things and carry on with 'Two go to buy a campsite'

On the last post Lorraine and I had decided to put an offer in for the camp site after writing a plan of action. This was somewhat delayed as, when we returned to the UK, we had a couple of other jobs to attend to.

First off we had to find a flat for our youngest, Megan, who was due to start university in London. Second minor job was to put the family home on the market as when Megan left we would have four empty bedrooms.

Fortunately I had spent 6 weeks completely redecorating the whole house before our holiday in France. We were rather taken aback when the house sold within 3 days of being put on the market and made the full asking price.
So an extra little job was penciled in 'find somewhere else to live'.

It was October before the written offer for Champ de la Chapelle was submitted to the Dutch sales agent and a further week before we heard that the offer had been accepted.

The sales agent literally bombarded me with documents to be signed, some were over 50 pages of dense, legalistic French. Within a couple of weeks we were on the second lever arch file, I began to dread opening my emails.

Suddenly things started to move, we were required to meet in Paris on the 8th December 2014. I now had a French solicitor, a man suggested by the super efficient sales agent (I shall call him Albert to keep things simple, and avoid legal action). The night before Lorraine and I stayed in a hotel in Paris and set off the next day for our rendezvous.

I knew that the solicitors office was near the Champs Elysee but I hadn't realised just how near. I had a horrible feeling that the bills would not be cheap.

Liesbeth and Ibele, from the camp site, arrived at the office and we were all ushered into the presence of the solicitor. After an hour or so of general discussion about the contract, a great wad of papers was placed on the table.

Albert stood on the opposite side of the table and snatched away each sheet as it was signed. I have never been involved in a more pointless exercise, just try signing your own moniker 50 or 60 times within a period of 7 or 8 minutes.

It is a little like saying 'red lorry, yellow lorry', after a few repetitions all that comes out is gibberish and so it was with my signature.

'So do we own the camp site now' I inquired, 'mais non' was the answer. A few more details needed to be cleared up but the final part of the transfer/ sale would be towards the end of January. So it looked like being a three month process from our offer being accepted in October, which is pretty speedy for France.

Lorraine and I left the office with a spring in our step and I quickly steered her towards the car before she gathered her wits and mentioned 'shopping'.

The next port of call was our house near Limoges where we would spend about 6 days before going to the camp site.

Six days forward and we were off to the Auvergne where amongst other things we had to open a business bank account in the name of 'SAS Champ de la Chapelle'.

Don't panic the SAS bit is just like Ltd for a UK based company, I am not planning a boot camp (although I may well do so if any Fruitcakes turn up looking for trouble).

The interview at the bank, CA Agricole Centre, went pretty much as I had suspected. We were treated like potential terrorists / money launderers. Fortunately I had suspected this would be the case even though I had held an account with another branch of Credit Agricole for the last 6 or 7 years.

So we had, passports, marriage certificate, utility bills, 3 months bank statements, proof of where any money we would deposit had originated from. We had all the documents from the solicitor, I had a copy of my contract with a French accountant, VAT number, Sirat number and on and endlessly on.

After signing a measly 48 pages (yes, both of us on every page) I smiled at the two lady bank officials and said 'so we now have a French business bank account'.

They smiled back at me 'mais non monsieur, you need to come back in seven days and sign more papers'.

Well I have learnt a couple of things over the years when visiting France and the first one is, never argue with a French official. It will achieve nowt and they do have the power to ruin your life.

The second but equally important thing is to understand just how important the lunch break is to a French person. They will have arrive at work at 9.30 and have to kiss every colleague in the office and then get their noses to the grindstone by 10.30. By lunch time they are exhausted and only have a 2 hour break before having to get back in harness until 4.30 pm when all the farewell kissing starts.

So when the French bankers said that I should have to return in 7 days time I surreptitiously peeked at mt watch, hmm 12.05 pm. I indulged in a little light banter with the ladies and then after 10 minutes had passed by I announced, 'it will be impossible for me to leave here today without signing the other papers'.

'But monsieur this is not possible, we close for lunch very shortly'.

'I am not going without signing those papers today'.

'But monsieur we will have to call the police, you would not want that to happen'.

Well I certainly did not want the gendarmes involved, although lets face it , they would have knocked off for lunch themselves.

'No madame but if you do that it will make you late for your lunch'. The two women looked stricken, this appalling scenario had not occurred to them. They quickly put their heads together and frantic whispering could be heard.

Moments later they smiled at me, 'please return at 3 o clock, the papers will be ready to sign.

This ploy also works well in supermarkets. Normally one has a couple of customers clutching baguettes ahead of you at the checkout, my turn in a moment you think, mais non mes amis. There will be important matters that each customer must discuss in great detail with the checkout lady, did Henri buy a pig at the market, will it be as good as his old pig, will it taste as good as his old pig.

Half an hour later it is your turn at the checkout. The person behind the till will be exhausted and in desperate need of a *** break. She will hardly have the strength. to pass your purchases over the scanner.

Try the above 5 minutes before the supermarket closes for the lunch 2 hour. For those of you that have never ventured across the channel, yes unbelievably all the shops shut at lunchtime (in larger cities this habit is dying out but is generally adhered to in the all other areas). This is such an obvious thing to do, the people working in the shops have to have a break from work, imagine having to spend hours being rude to customers with nothing but a ciggie break every 20 minutes.

Back to the supermarket scenario. 5 minutes and counting down, a shop assistant steers you towards the till, 4 minutes and counting, your purchases are torn from your hands and dumped on the conveyor belt (which is running at high speed). 3 minutes and the old lady in front is stuffed into a trolley and wheeled towards her Citroen 2CV. The last two minutes passes in a blur as you are fast tracked through the till area and pushed through the glass doors and into the car park.

Quick word of warning, DO NOT try and drive out of the supermarket car park for at least five minutes. Wait until the high speed exodus of starving and exhausted shop workers has exited the area before attempting to depart for your lunch 2 hour.

One other interesting point to demonstrate how keen the French government is to help new businesses to establish and get up and running, is the requirement for new companies to deposit a bond (for want of a better word). This must be put in your bank account (and must remain there unspent for a period of many months). For new companies this amount varies between €5000 and €38 000. So thanks for that lads, it helped me immensely.


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## cabby

Makes me want to ask, why the hell do all you expats living in France do it, do you all have a macabre desire for this lifestyle.You also worry that if there is a Brexit that you will be treated worse. I ask could it be any worse.

cabby


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## campsitewriter

cabby said:


> Makes me want to ask, why the hell do all you expats living in France do it, do you all have a macabre desire for this lifestyle.You also worry that if there is a Brexit that you will be treated worse. I ask could it be any worse.
> 
> cabby


If you just live in France as opposed to having a business, you don't get any hassle. 
We wanted a camp site in France for two reasons
1. the weather
2. could never afford a 16 acre camp site in the UK

anyway wine is so cheap it makes it possible to put up with a whole load of s**t

re Brexit, nothing will happen overnight, we will not be out of the EU for 2 or 3 years in the event of a victory for the out camp. The whole thing will be so drawn out with new treaties (trade, borders, ******** etc) that I doubt that anyone will really know whether or not we have left. Cameroon is not going to give up the chance to be chief ****, sorry EU President without a fight.
All the crap about why we should stay / leave makes me laugh, the real question is do we want and elected government or to be be ruled by unelected commisars. At the end of the day the Krauts still want us to buy BMW / Merc /VW /Audi / Skoda and the French still want us to buy nuclear power stations. The Greeks / Spanish / Portuguese / Italians will remain basket cases and the rest of Europe will still want to come to this country. So will we notice the difference whether in or out?
Sorry for the rant but I bet you a free week on my camp site that the whole referendum will be a stitch up, if we leave we won't pay directly into the EU, we will just pay the same amount in trade tariffs and Dave will still have a chance at being head ****, Mind you that would be far preferable to Tony Blair poncing around as EU President and Cherie as first lady,
LMAO (go on ask me what that stands for)


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## GMJ

Laugh my arse off?

Graham :smile2:


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## campsitewriter

GMJ said:


> Laugh my arse off?
> 
> Graham :smile2:


That man wins a coconut. Was that an inspired guess or do you have teenage children? Or are you just 'down with da kidz?'


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## GMJ

campsitewriter said:


> That man wins a coconut. Was that an inspired guess or do you have teenage children? Or are you just 'down with da kidz?'


I lecture in Business Studies at a 6th Form College, to 16-19 year olds plus have an 18 year old lad myself...

...and I'm not as old as most of the old farts on here >

Graham >


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## Pudsey_Bear

campsitewriter said:


> That man wins a coconut. Was that an inspired guess or do you have teenage children? Or are you just 'down with da kidz?'


You are a bit behind the times and need to get out more Simon, LMAO, ROFL, LOL etc have been around for a very long time > >

Here's one from a very long time ago, YTTDSFOATCCSH, along the lines of HOLLAND & SWALK sort those out


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## cabby

I have a range of grandkids from 33 to 3 years, we get informed if we make the mistake of using out of date expressions etc. My naughty step is rather well worn.:grin2::grin2:

cabby

Just been told we have one more from yesterday.:surprise::surprise:


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## HarleyDave

*Caution - Envelope Abbreviation Spoiler Alert*

HOLLAND - Hope Our Love Lasts And Never Dies

SWALK - Sealed With A Loving Kiss

BURMA - Be Undressed Ready My Angel

ITALY - I Trust And Love You

POLO - Pants Off, Legs Open

EGYPT - Eager To Grab Your Pretty T1ts

And this one I found - Defo my Favourite

PHILIPPINES - Pumping Hot! I Love It! Please, Please, I Need Erotic Stimulation

But - YTTDSFOATCCSH - Dunno - I've tried to work something out (and I've Googled it - all to no avail)

Yours Truly Til Death Sends For Our All Too Caring Chums Silently Hidden ??

Cheers

Dave


----------



## campsitewriter

cabby said:


> I have a range of grandkids from 33 to 3 years, we get informed if we make the mistake of using out of date expressions etc. My naughty step is rather well worn.:grin2::grin2:
> 
> cabby
> 
> Just been told we have one more from yesterday.:surprise::surprise:


One more grandchild- congratulations
or
one more out of date expression
or
one more naughty step?


----------



## campsitewriter

Kev_n_Liz said:


> You are a bit behind the times and need to get out more Simon, LMAO, ROFL, LOL etc have been around for a very long time > >
> 
> Here's one from a very long time ago, YTTDSFOATCCSH, along the lines of HOLLAND & SWALK sort those out


I give up, my brain hurts. What does YTTDSFOATCCSH stand for?

Also is the camp site saga still of interest to you or has it become tedious?

Should I continue or have it taken out and shot?


----------



## ChrisandJohn

campsitewriter said:


> snipped..
> 
> Should I continue or have it taken out and shot?


Yes, Simon, please continue.

If anything is tedious on this thread it's the off topic stuff. Not that I'm usually too bothered by off topic banter, but on this particular thread it does impair the continuity of your story.

Chris


----------



## Pudsey_Bear

campsitewriter said:


> I give up, my brain hurts. What does YTTDSFOATCCSH stand for?
> 
> Also is the camp site saga still of interest to you or has it become tedious?
> 
> Should I continue or have it taken out and shot?


Tut Tut, sign of a seriously misspent youth  

Okay, lugs akimbo.

Yours
Til
The 
Desert
Sands
Freeze
Over
And
The 
Camels
Come 
Skating 
Home

And Simon, please stop asking for positive reinforcement, it's getting embarrassing, :smile2::nerd::frown2: worry not this bunch will inform you if they get bored .


----------



## cabby

Take it out and shoot it, are you for real, can you imagine the amount of paperwork that would entail, you cannot be serious !!!!>>>



No please carry on it is a breath of fresh air.

cabby


----------



## campsitewriter

Kev_n_Liz said:


> Tut Tut, sign of a seriously misspent youth
> 
> Okay, lugs akimbo.
> 
> Yours
> Til
> The
> Desert
> Sands
> Freeze
> Over
> And
> The
> Camels
> Come
> Skating
> Home
> 
> And Simon, please stop asking for positive reinforcement, it's getting embarrassing, :smile2::nerd::frown2: worry not this bunch will inform you if they get bored .


okie dokie, anyway I had got the 'yours til the' bit, it was just the rest that baffled me but now I see how obvious it was.


----------



## campsitewriter

ChrisandJohn said:


> Yes, Simon, please continue.
> 
> If anything is tedious on this thread it's the off topic stuff. Not that I'm usually too bothered by off topic banter, but on this particular thread it does impair the continuity of your story.
> 
> Chris


for unimpaired reading, try the books, they are much better (he said modestly) than the thread


----------



## GMJ

Yeh Simon...FFS!

Fam

Graham :smile2:


----------



## Pudsey_Bear

campsitewriter said:


> for unimpaired reading, try the books, they are much better (he said modestly) than the thread


So are you C&P ing then > >


----------



## barryd

I hate all those flaming annoying acronyms!! I bet people who use them say stuff like "Blue sky thinking"!! Grrrr.  Say them again and I will have to kill you! Lol!


----------



## GMJ

barryd said:


> I hate all those flaming annoying acronyms!! I bet people who use them say stuff like "Blue sky thinking"!! Grrrr.  Say them again and I will have to kill you! Lol!


LOL!

Graham >


----------



## Pudsey_Bear

barryd said:


> I hate all those flaming annoying acronyms!! I bet people who use them say stuff like "Blue sky thinking"!! Grrrr.  Say them again and I will have to kill you! Lol!


You'll never use FFS or OMG then eh > >


----------



## campsitewriter

ChrisandJohn said:


> Yes, Simon, please continue.
> 
> If anything is tedious on this thread it's the off topic stuff. Not that I'm usually too bothered by off topic banter, but on this particular thread it does impair the continuity of your story.
> 
> Chris


On with the story then

Quick catch up, we finished the last chapter in France signing the initial contracts and amazingly managing to persuade a bank to accept a large cheque which was to be deposited in our shiny new business account.

Well after this flurry of activity things went rather quiet. Albert (the Dutch camp site sales agent) told me to expect a final meeting in January after which Lorraine and I would own the site, he even suggested a date to meet although this would need confirming.

Fortunately, being wise to Gallic ways, I did not bother booking flights. This was just as well really because I seem to remember the final signing came about in June or July.

I know this sounds a bit odd, no not the delay that is normal in France, rather me forgetting the date of this momentous event. I didn't even attend the signing, I was so fed up with all the messing around that, after checking the 80 or 90 page document, I gave Albert power of attorney to sign on our behalf. This is not as dodgy as it sounds as I had already electronically signed so no changes could be made after that point.

One matter that delayed things slightly was the vexing matter of my mothers maiden name.

Her maiden name was illegible on our marriage certificate and so I was issued with the official 'mothers maiden name clarification form'. This actually exists and is a genuine document. It didn't matter one iota that my parents married in 1956 or even that my mother had passed away.

The actual date that the camp site sale was officially through ended up being 18th September 2015, although this was later amended to 31st March 2015 by the French tax authorities so that they could get an extra years tax payments from me. Vive la republique.

Back to January and February of 2015. Lorraine and I decided that we had to press ahead as if the sale was a done deal. This was a slightly precarious plan but not as risky as sitting back and waiting for who knows how long.

The first job to be done was the much needed improvements to the bar area. When we had stayed on the site the previous year the bar and 'communal' area consisted of a wooden hut with a serving hatch. It stood in splendid isolation with a few manky wooden picnic tables scattered around it. In an attempt to lure campers in, the shed had been painted, many years previously, in that delightful shade of Cuprinol wood preserver green.

One night during our stay, Lorraine and I had wandered over to sample the joys of this alluring bar. The first thing to catch our eyes was a notice, in four languages, asking guests to press the bell for service.

Obeying this directive I pressed the buzzer and moments later the door of the owners chalet opened and Liesbeth trotted across.

'Two glasses of red wine please'. Liesbeth placed two small glasses on the counter and then hoisted a 5 litre box of wine and squirted a slug of red into each glass. 'Is that all' she queried as she headed back home. Obviously they were watching the Dutch equivalent of Coronation Street and she couldn't wait to get back.

Before Liesbeth had even reached the chalet we had drained our glasses but could not bring ourselves to ring for more.

So hopefully you will have a mental image of this rather depressing setup. The bar is near to the pool but certainly does not lift ones spirits the way an alcohol outlet should. Burgers and frites were also dispensed from this shed with the result that all the glasses had a slightly greasy sheen to them.

Our first job had to be to improve this area and with that in mind I set about looking for a marquee. It was not that we were planning a night club or anything but I really feel that a camp site needs a focal point.

On sunny days the swimming pool fulfills this role admirably but on wet days or in the evening something else is required.

I came across a company called Dancover and boy do they have a range of gazebos and marquees. Fortunately Dancover were holding their winter sale and I purchased a 6m x 14m commercial standard marquee for half price.

My plan was to erect this stunner of a tent so that the bar was under cover at one end but what I really needed was another building so as to be able to have a separate bar and cafe.

The only trouble being that even a good sized wooden shed costs 1000s and I didn't really have the money to spare.

Ignoring this thorny problem I carried on with my shopping, still being in the UK at this time. One other plan involved buying a couple of decent sized tents and kitting them out for folks who fancied a camping holiday but did not have the necessary kit and caboodle. This was soon done, it is amazing how much one can spend on camping furniture.

There was a great long list of other stuff to buy, paint being a major item. French paint is now a lot better quality than in previous years but is unbelievably expensive. Exterior gloss can easily cost €60 for a couple of litres.

Soon I had an impressive pile of expensive purchases to cart across to France. Luckily the big marquee would be delivered direct from the manufacturers in Denmark. Just as well the beast weighs about 550 kilos and would never have fitted into my car.

The plan was for me to drive over to France on about the 10th March 2015 and stay there until the 28th at which time I had to return to England for a back operation.

to be continued....


----------



## campsitewriter

ChrisandJohn said:


> Yes, Simon, please continue.
> 
> If anything is tedious on this thread it's the off topic stuff. Not that I'm usually too bothered by off topic banter, but on this particular thread it does impair the continuity of your story.


----------



## GMJ

A true Brit: sort the bar out first :grin2:

Loving it :grin2:

Graham :smile2:


----------



## Pudsey_Bear

Da ja voo or what Somin.


----------



## campsitewriter

Kev_n_Liz said:


> So are you C&P ing then > >


No not C & P ing. When you write a book the topic can be much expanded, I am trying to keep this condensed otherwise it would be the worlds longest thread and I also try to put stuff in the thread that was not in the book. But however I do it there will be crossover as I am recounting a true tale pretty well as it happened.

Really I am trying to whet your appetites for the real thing but why not go to Amazon and look me up as you can read the first chapter or so for free

I would be interested to see if you think the posts and the book are different styles and possibly which you think is best (as long as you say the book is best, ho ho)

TTFN


----------



## campsitewriter

GMJ said:


> A true Brit: sort the bar out first :grin2:
> 
> Loving it :grin2:
> 
> Graham :smile2:


You gotta prioritise


----------



## campsitewriter

Kev_n_Liz said:


> Da ja voo or what Somin.


Eh?


----------



## Pudsey_Bear

campsitewriter said:


> No not C & P ing. When you write a book the topic can be much expanded, I am trying to keep this condensed otherwise it would be the worlds longest thread and I also try to put stuff in the thread that was not in the book. But however I do it there will be crossover as I am recounting a true tale pretty well as it happened.
> 
> Really I am trying to whet your appetites for the real thing but why not go to Amazon and look me up as you can read the first chapter or so for free
> 
> I would be interested to see if you think the posts and the book are different styles and possibly which you think is best (as long as you say the book is best, ho ho)
> 
> TTFN


Well I'm enjoying it anyway, and I prefer the little wanders off into silliness by you and others, it comes back on track quick enough for me.


----------



## Pudsey_Bear

Double post Simon.


----------



## campsitewriter

Kev_n_Liz said:


> Well I'm enjoying it anyway, and I prefer the little wanders off into silliness by you and others, it comes back on track quick enough for me.


Makes it fairly obvious what time some people start drinking


----------



## campsitewriter

Kev_n_Liz said:


> Double post Simon.


Ay ay ay, first it's not enough posts and now it's double posts, I bet you are a right b*****d when you are ill


----------



## JanHank

Please remind me what the book is called Simon, so´s I can find it on Amazon
Jan


----------



## Harrers

GMJ said:


> LOL!
> 
> Graham >


Actually I prefer the French version - MDR!

Really enjoying this thread. I am in the process of buying a house in France but I am not saying anything on here until it goes through as it is a bank repossession and subject to a bankruptcy so will probably never happen!


----------



## campsitewriter

JanHank said:


> Please remind me what the book is called Simon, so´s I can find it on Amazon
> Jan


You can just look up Simon Swinn and all the books (4) appear

The two about the campsite are 'A tent in France'
and 'A lot of tents in France'


----------



## Pudsey_Bear

campsitewriter said:


> Ay ay ay, first it's not enough posts and now it's double posts, I bet you are a right b*****d when you are ill


You just can't help some folk > >


----------



## campsitewriter

Harrers said:


> Actually I prefer the French version - MDR!
> 
> Really enjoying this thread. I am in the process of buying a house in France but I am not saying anything on here until it goes through as it is a bank repossession and subject to a bankruptcy so will probably never happen!


I hope all goes well with your house purchase but if anything goes wrong I have a house for sale near Limoges


----------



## Harrers

campsitewriter said:


> I hope all goes well with your house purchase but if anything goes wrong I have a house for sale near Limoges


It's unlikely to be in my price bracket! But thanks for the offer. I am hoping to buy near to Angouleme so not far away.


----------



## campsitewriter

Harrers said:


> It's unlikely to be in my price bracket! But thanks for the offer. I am hoping to buy near to Angouleme so not far away.


We looked at a camp site near there but it wasn't what we really wanted.


----------



## campsitewriter

campsitewriter said:


> We looked at a camp site near there but it wasn't what we really wanted.


Well my wife has gone out to see a friend and her new baby, I elected to miss this treat using my sore back as an excuse.

So back to France for a couple of weeks and then return to the UK for a back operation on 2nd April 2015.

I had the car all loaded up and set off in high spirits, annoyingly a hold up on the M25 meant that I would be late for the ferry. The Gods were smiling on me that day, the ferry had been delayed and even though I would have missed it under normal circumstances not only did I manage to board but P and O gave me a 15 quid meal voucher.

Disembarking at Calais I was greeted with the unique smell of France (over worked septic tanks) and glorious sunshine. I zipped along merrily and amazingly did not have a single holdup on the dreaded Paris Périphérique. As a double bonus not only had the Parisian motorcyclists decided to stay at home but I was treated to the sight of a large passenger jet taxiing across the runway that passes over the motorway at Charles de Gaulle airport.

A brisk five and a half hour drive saw me arrive at Champ de la Chapelle. I felt rather like Santa Claus as I unloaded all the campsite goodies from my car (in those days a nice BMW).

Liesbeth oversaw this unloading operation and took every opportunity to explain why I had brought stuff that was not needed. New cutlery and crockery for the rental tents was pointless as the camp site had already a good supply of these items. At this point she dragged me across to the store room and proudly unveiled a collection of chipped and mismatched plates and cups.

Next the colour of paint came under fire, 'what is wrong with the beautiful paint we normally use on woodwork (Cuprinol wood preservative green). The colour scheme planned by Lorraine, comprising off-white walls with jade green trim, was dismissed as 'not a proper colour, too light'.

The nice new wine glasses for the bar earned a grimace of utter contempt, 'they don't need glasses with stems, beakers are fine'.

The words just ran off me like water from a ducks back. The Dutchies might know where all the electric cables and water pipes ran but they really did not seem to have the faintest idea what people expect these days.

The bar marquee had been delivered several weeks earlier and now we could set about raising this behemoth. The instructions suggested that at least 7 people should be needed to erect the tent but we struggled on with just the three of us and had the job done in two days. Pretty impressive I thought as I had counted 268 nuts and bolts to strap the frame together.

This marquee was placed so that the tatty old bar / shed was inside the tent and from the outside everything looked great. Inside though the gleaming white marquee really showed up how scruffy the old bar was. I still had the problem of finding cash for a new kitchen and cafe.

Help was at hand and came from the most unlikely direction. For a few days after the marquee had been raised a goodish number of locals found excuses to call at the camp site, my large erection had drawn them in (no dirty comments please),

One day an old and decrepit Mercedes roared onto the camp site and a swarthy gentleman climbed out from behind the wheel. This chap was well known to the Dutchies and Liesbeth quickly poured him a glass of rose. This surprised me somewhat as it was only 8.30 am but what the hell eh.

Christian spoke French with such a thick accent that I could only guess at what he was saying so Liesbeth stepped in as interpreter.

According to Christian the new marquee was magnificent but what other plans did I have to improve the place. I explained about my wished for new kitchen area and that lack of funds would delay this.

Christians face creased into a smile (if a barracuda could smile this is what it would look like) 'I may have a solution to your problem' he purred.

Liesbeth started to look slightly worried at this, later she confided to me that Christian was a sort of French Del Boy. It turned out that this wily gentleman had many and varied business interests , one of which was the operation of a mobile kebab van. This van had been so successful that Christian decided to expand his fleet and to this end had acquired a refrigerated wagon body which he planned to convert into a kebab stall that he could tow behind his Mercedes.

Part way through this refit he had been offered an even bigger and better wagon body ripe for conversion so the first one was now surplus to requirements. He proposed that I should rent this from him and use it as my kitchen. I in turn would allow Christian to come to the camp site once a week to sell kebabs to the campers.

Two things put me off, firstly I most certainly did not want an old wagon body parked under my dazzling white marquee, I already had a tatty old shed there. Secondly my idea of kebabs is that they should be avoided at all costs, most especially when one has been drinking and for some reason badly cooked 'lamb' smothered in chilli and garlic sauce has a strange appeal.

At this point Ibele, Liesbeths husband, joined in the conversation. He had been sketching away and now showed me his plans for the wagon body. It would be faced with tongue and groove boarding, so as to match the bar / hut. I could see where he was going, only the question of the rental for this bit of kit remained.

Well slap me me silly, Christian offered to let me have this partly converted wagon body rent free for the first tear and then a €100 per year after that. He would also deliver it to the camp site and fit it with all the required electrical wiring for no payment whatsoever.

I was convinced that there would be a catch but Christian remained true to his word and the wagon body was duly delivered.

My time in France was now up and I had to return to the UK for my first back operation. Below are some pics, the first being the lonely shed, it just begs you to come and buy a drink (not). Second picture is of my lovely new erection and finally a shot inside the marquee with the old shed (now the kitchen) in the centre and the converted wagon body (now the bar) to the right. Liesbeth is in the kitchen.


----------



## cabby

Fantastic, if we ever do manage to get across the channel this year we will be dropping in, even if it is to see if you have managed to win the lottery and paid Lisbeth off.

cabby


----------



## GMJ

You are doing a great sales pitch here - well done, keep it up :wink2:

It looks great btw and I see no reasons why we wouldn't give you a try when we are wending our way through France next.

Graham :smile2:


----------



## campsitewriter

cabby said:


> Fantastic, if we ever do manage to get across the channel this year we will be dropping in, even if it is to see if you have managed to win the lottery and paid Lisbeth off.
> 
> cabby


Thanks for that but I must put the record straight about the Dutchies

In all fairness to them it must come hard to have to sell up. In the early days they were rather difficult, sometimes I had to bite my tongue as I felt like saying 'if you know so much how come you had to sell the camp site'.

BUT if something bad happens, a camper is ill or hurts themselves Liesbeth is straight in there, night or day. She will take people to hospital and stay there with them etc

This heart of gold is buried deeply within her rather bossy exterior. Her husband Ibele is also rather gruff but again a man you can depend on when the chips are down.

I only say all this because at the present stage of the camp site saga I was still suffering with them. Things do get better ...


----------



## campsitewriter

GMJ said:


> You are doing a great sales pitch here - well done, keep it up :wink2:
> 
> It looks great btw and I see no reasons why we wouldn't give you a try when we are wending our way through France next.
> 
> Graham :smile2:


Please do, it would be brilliant to be able to put faces to names, I have really enjoyed this posting lark here, on some forums the chat I have started just degenerates into drivel about polarity of electric hookups. Obviously this is an interesting subject to some folk but it would be like me joining in a thread about what motorhome to buy and inserting posts about Dutch people driving you mad.

So the sense of humour here is great and once again it would be lovely to meet some of you chaps and chapesses.

I shall add a bit more guff about camp sites later today and then will drop out of sight for a little while as my operation is scheduled for 7.00 am tomorrow. I only hope the surgeon is not too bleary eyed at that time of day. I should be back home by the weekend and will hopefully be scribing away sometime next week

If the posts sound a bit wacky it will mean that they have given me some really good painkillers


----------



## ChrisandJohn

campsitewriter said:


> Please do, it would be brilliant to be able to put faces to names, I have really enjoyed this posting lark here, on some forums the chat I have started just degenerates into drivel about polarity of electric hookups. Obviously this is an interesting subject to some folk but it would be like me joining in a thread about what motorhome to buy and inserting posts about Dutch people driving you mad.
> 
> So the sense of humour here is great and once again it would be lovely to meet some of you chaps and chapesses.
> 
> I shall add a bit more guff about camp sites later today and then will drop out of sight for a little while as my operation is scheduled for 7.00 am tomorrow. I only hope the surgeon is not too bleary eyed at that time of day. I should be back home by the weekend and will hopefully be scribing away sometime next week
> 
> If the posts sound a bit wacky it will mean that they have given me some really good painkillers


Best wishes for tomorrow, Simon, and I hope that you recover well, preferably on some really good painkillers. We like a bit of wackiness.

I also hope you stay around long enough to realise (and tolerate) that we can also do drivel about polarity - and all sorts of other things.

We're off to France for three weeks on 19th April, so depending which way we're heading we might well be calling in.

Chris


----------



## campsitewriter

ChrisandJohn said:


> Best wishes for tomorrow, Simon, and I hope that you recover well, preferably on some really good painkillers. We like a bit of wackiness.
> 
> I also hope you stay around long enough to realise (and tolerate) that we can also do drivel about polarity - and all sorts of other things.
> 
> We're off to France for three weeks on 19th April, so depending which way we're heading we might well be calling in.
> 
> Chris


Thanks, I am heading back to France hopefully 26th April as the advice is to have 4-5 weeks convalescence before getting back in harness or driving for any distance.
Campsite tel no. is 00 33 470 07 82 46
GPS N 46.38.35 E 02.39.16


----------



## cabby

Point taken and understood. Can you also give us the alternative GPS location please, as many sat navs do not use those that you have used.

Good luck for tomorrow.

cabby


----------



## pippin

Campsitewriter: and I quote: "If the posts sound a bit wacky".

They already do, so we won't notice any difference!

I jest of course.

I wish you well with your operation but please do take time to recuperate and not start doing things you should not do too soon.:wink2::sign10:

We may well call in on our way back from Bordeaux to Calais in early September.

Incidentally, nowhere on your www could I find the actual address of the campsite.


----------



## ChrisandJohn

cabby said:


> Point taken and understood. Can you also give us the alternative GPS location please, as many sat navs do not use those that you have used.
> 
> Good luck for tomorrow.
> 
> cabby


Cabby, what I do when I need a different format is to use the ones given to find the place on google earth, then you can change the format on google earth to the one you want.

Chris


----------



## siggie

ChrisandJohn said:


> Cabby, what I do when I need a different format is to use the ones given to find the place on google earth, then you can change the format on google earth to the one you want.
> 
> Chris


Or you can very simply convert from degrees, minutes and seconds to decimal degrees yourself...

Divide the seconds by 60 and add the result to the minutes to get decimal minutes. Then divide that by 60 and add the result to the degrees - job done.

So, for the campsite N 46.38.35 E 02.39.16...

N 48 degrees 38 minutes 35 seconds

35/60 = 0.5833, so decimal minutes is 38.5833
38.5833/60 = 0.643055, so decimal degrees is 48.643055

E 02 degrees 39 minutes 16 seconds
16/60 = 0.2666, so decimal minutes is 39.2666
39.2666/60 = 0.654443, so decimal degrees is 2.654443

So, the campsite coordinates are N48.643055 E002.654443 or +48.643055 +2.654443

Hope that makes sense and helps.


----------



## GMJ

Bonne chance or indeed, bon courage Simon :smile2:

Graham :smile2:


----------



## campsitewriter

siggie said:


> Or you can very simply convert from degrees, minutes and seconds to decimal degrees yourself...
> 
> Divide the seconds by 60 and add the result to the minutes to get decimal minutes. Then divide that by 60 and add the result to the degrees - job done.
> 
> So, for the campsite N 46.38.35 E 02.39.16...
> 
> N 48 degrees 38 minutes 35 seconds
> 
> 35/60 = 0.5833, so decimal minutes is 38.5833
> 38.5833/60 = 0.643055, so decimal degrees is 48.643055
> 
> E 02 degrees 39 minutes 16 seconds
> 16/60 = 0.2666, so decimal minutes is 39.2666
> 39.2666/60 = 0.654443, so decimal degrees is 2.654443
> 
> So, the campsite coordinates are N48.643055 E002.654443 or +48.643055 +2.654443
> 
> Hope that makes sense and helps.


Gosh I just learned something new that is actually useful, thanks


----------



## campsitewriter

pippin said:


> Campsitewriter: and I quote: "If the posts sound a bit wacky".
> 
> They already do, so we won't notice any difference!
> 
> I jest of course.
> 
> I wish you well with your operation but please do take time to recuperate and not start doing things you should not do too soon.:wink2::sign10:
> 
> We may well call in on our way back from Bordeaux to Calais in early September.
> 
> Incidentally, nowhere on your www could I find the actual address of the campsite.


You are absolutely right, the address is not on the website, I shall have that sorted ASAP
The address is
Champ de la Chapelle 
03360 BRAIZE

Campsite tel no. is 00 33 470 07 82 46 / email [email protected]
GPS N 46.38.35 E 02.39.16


----------



## campsitewriter

GMJ said:


> Bonne chance or indeed, bon courage Simon :smile2:
> 
> Graham :smile2:


merci beaucoup old chap


----------



## tugboat

Good luck with the op, Simon, really enjoying your story and, err, ahem, I have to say that is a damned fine erection.


----------



## GMJ

tugboat said:


> Good luck with the op, Simon, really enjoying your story and, err, ahem, I have to say that is a damned fine erection.


I wondered when you would spot that opportunity Tuggers...>

Graham :grin2:


----------



## campsitewriter

tugboat said:


> Good luck with the op, Simon, really enjoying your story and, err, ahem, I have to say that is a damned fine erection.


As the sun goes down I love to watch it glowing in the dark.

So last chapter before hospital

And back to hospital last year. I had returned to the UK and had a pre op session at the hospital where I was gobsmacked to discover that I would not be allowed to drive for 4 weeks after the op. Return to work was a no go for a minimum of 3 months but six months was the hospitals preferred option.

As I said, this came as a bit of a shock, I thought that it would be a quick op and then a bowl of ice cream, oh hang on that,s tonsils isn't it. Anyway the most time I could spare was 7 or 8 weeks before heading back to France. Fortunately the op tomorrow has a much shorter convalescence, only about 4 weeks.

So after the op I tottered around for 8 weeks, enjoying the sympathy, although when I suggested to Lorraine that she could purchase a small hand bell for me to ring when I required food / drink / tv channel changing, her smile became rather strained.

It was time to return to the fray camp site. As I made lists of everything that would be needed it suddenly occurred to me that the MOT on my car would run out during the summer, that in turn prompted me to check how long my insurance would be valid for in France (one month only is the answer).

Just as I was pondering my options an email from friends in Chateauponsac arrived informing me that their little Peugeot was for sale. I had previously mentioned that I would be interested in this car should they ever want to sell it.

So in a flurry of activity I MOT'd my car, had it valeted, sold it, arranged a carrier to shift my stuff to France and even scrounged a lift with said carrier, a splendid chap called Rod Mansell. RodandCo is the name if you needs goods moving.

All this action started on a Thursday and I was in the van with Rod driving to France the next Tuesday.

The plan went thus. Travel with Rod to the camp site and drop goods off, then continue with Rod to Chateauponsac as I had brought a fridge from the UK for our house in France. Rod would then depart to pastures new and I would buy the Peugeot and transfer ownership (a not inconsiderable job in France). After that I would travel back to the camp site in the Peugeot.

There was one small problem, I had forgotten that there were two small fridges to take back to the camp site and no way were they going to fit in the Peugeot. Fortunately a friend swapped me his van for my car for 10 days, luckily and quite sensibly the vehicle is insured in France rather than the driver. As an aside my French car insurance allows me to spend a whole year in the UK. It is quite handy driving a LHD French registered vehicle in the UK. Never again do I need to fear speed cameras and parking tickets get put in the bin.

So I eventually headed back to Braize in a Fiat Scudo van......


----------



## JanHank

Jan & Mildred wish you all the best for tomorrow Simon. XX


----------



## pippin

I have just performed that Lat/Long conversion trick and the results are no where near the campsite.

Makes me wonder if the original Co-ords are wrong.

Campsitewriter: DO NOT FORGET THE "NIL BY MOUTH" routine!


----------



## siggie

pippin said:


> I have just performed that Lat/Long conversion trick and the results are no where near the campsite.
> 
> Makes me wonder if the original Co-ords are wrong.
> 
> Campsitewriter: DO NOT FORGET THE "NIL BY MOUTH" routine!


Did you calculate yourself from the position given or did you just use my result?

Just noticed my result is wrong as I misread the original 46 degrees N as 48N when doing my calculations, but the method is correct. :frown2:

The correct position using my calculation should be N*46*.643055 E002.654443 and checking on my SatNav that is the same as the position given by campsite writer.


----------



## campsitewriter

siggie said:


> Did you calculate yourself from the position given or did you just use my result?
> 
> Just noticed my result is wrong as I misread the original 46 degrees N as 48N when doing my calculations, but the method is correct. :frown2:
> 
> The correct position using my calculation should be N*46*.643055 E002.654443 and checking on my SatNav that is the same as the position given by campsite writer.


Thank goodness for that, I wa starting to get worried, I have just had 1000s of leaflets printed in three languages with the GPS co ordinates on them


----------



## campsitewriter

pippin said:


> I have just performed that Lat/Long conversion trick and the results are no where near the campsite.
> 
> Makes me wonder if the original Co-ords are wrong.
> 
> Campsitewriter: DO NOT FORGET THE "NIL BY MOUTH" routine!


Thanks for the reminder, not too bad as I have to be at hospital at 7.00am


----------



## siggie

campsitewriter said:


> Thank goodness for that, I wa starting to get worried, I have just had 1000s of leaflets printed in three languages with the GPS co ordinates on them


I didn't say your position was correct, just that my calculated decimal position matched what you gave :grin2:


----------



## pippin

Phew! Sorry to have given you a heart attack!

I used the co-ords as calculated, I couldn't be arsed to do it myself!

Now they are spot on.

Anyway, NBM and don't have a lie-in _(ou grasse matinée!)_


----------



## JanHank

Time Simon told us how he is progressing :serious:
Jan


----------



## nicholsong

siggie said:


> Or you can very simply convert from degrees, minutes and seconds to decimal degrees yourself...
> 
> Divide the seconds by 60 and add the result to the minutes to get decimal minutes. Then divide that by 60 and add the result to the degrees - job done.
> 
> So, for the campsite N 46.38.35 E 02.39.16...
> 
> N 48 degrees 38 minutes 35 seconds
> 
> 35/60 = 0.5833, so decimal minutes is 38.5833
> 38.5833/60 = 0.643055, so decimal degrees is 48.643055
> 
> E 02 degrees 39 minutes 16 seconds
> 16/60 = 0.2666, so decimal minutes is 39.2666
> 39.2666/60 = 0.654443, so decimal degrees is 2.654443
> 
> So, the campsite coordinates are N48.643055 E002.654443 or +48.643055 +2.654443
> 
> Hope that makes sense and helps.


Just found out a new (to me) way to convert from decimal to degrees/mins/secs. Just enter the decimal into google maps and it convers it automatically.

Maybe everyone else knows except me.

Geoff


----------



## siggie

nicholsong said:


> Just found out a new (to me) way to convert from decimal to degrees/mins/secs. Just enter the decimal into google maps and it convers it automatically.
> 
> Maybe everyone else knows except me.
> 
> Geoff


Which is fine if you happen to be online and have Google Maps :wink2:


----------



## nicholsong

siggie said:


> Which is fine if you happen to be online and have Google Maps :wink2:


Point taken, but we have 3Gb/month on our smartphone so no problem for us, anyway we can just use it to convert and then enter in our satnav app on the phone.


----------



## siggie

nicholsong said:


> Point taken, but we have 3Gb/month on our smartphone so no problem for us, anyway we can just use it to convert and then enter in our satnav app on the phone.


3Gb/month is useless if there is no mobile phone signal, which is quite often in remote, mountainous areas :grin2:


----------



## nicholsong

siggie said:


> 3Gb/month is useless if there is no mobile phone signal, which is quite often in remote, mountainous areas :grin2:


We did not have too much trouble in the Pyrenees last summer.

We also have one of Adam's WiFi boosters but never been out of the box since we got our roaming deal


----------



## pippin

It amazes me how in most remote areas of €U there is perfect cellular phone reception.

Not something that can be said for here in Wales.


----------



## Pudsey_Bear

Or Scotland, or Yorkshire, Great Britain??? the most backward country in Europe in so many ways


----------



## MEES

Surely not with you living there


----------



## campsitewriter

JanHank said:


> Jan & Mildred wish you all the best for tomorrow Simon. XX


Hi

Still alive but not feeling very well so will hopefully write a bit more next week. I will just enjoy the morphine haze for the present time


----------



## MEES

Hope you are feeling better soon - sleep peacefully


----------



## nicholsong

Simon

Glad to know you are at least well enough to post.

Wish you a speedy recovery

Geoff


----------



## pippin

"morphine haze"? 

I can put you in touch with the dodgy chap on the street corner that I get my fix from.........


----------



## campsitewriter

pippin said:


> "morphine haze"?
> 
> I can put you in touch with the dodgy chap on the street corner that I get my fix from.........


I will give you a shout if I start with the cold turkey

Anyway I now feel like I am back in the land of the living and guaranteed to set off metal detectors in airports all across the world.

I am not really very keen on people who, when asked how they are, reply with a two hour description of their illness and the state of their bowels. But having said that I must pass on what seemed a fascinating bit of info about the operation that I had.

I saw the consultant yesterday and just casually mentioned that 'I suppose the screws that hold my back together are just like little self tappers?'

'Not really' he replied 'they are 45 mm long and about as thick as your little finger, more like coach bolts than screws'.

Enough of the whinging. I had left the camp site saga with me setting off back to Braize in a borrowed Fiat Scudo van. If you remember I had dumped a load of stuff off at the camp site and then carried onto my house so now I had to return and get it all unpacked.

Liesbeth and Ibele were quite interested to see what I had been wasting good money on and they were not disappointed. All the furniture for the rental tents was dismissed as crap and why did I buy new bedding when they had old stuff left from when they married in 1975, it would do, they were only campers.

Before I even unveiled the range of paints I had selected for the bar and cafe I had the certain feeling that they would be unsuitable and I was right. The familiar refrain of 'what is wrong with Cuprinol wood preserver in that lovely shade of seaweed green' soon issued from Liesbeths mouth.

As per usual I ignored all the negative comments and set to deciding where to start on camp site renovations,

Eventually I came up with the obvious solution, if something was broken ie a toilet for example, that would be at the top of the list but after the urgent repairs I had my brainwave. Just start at the campsite entrance and work outwards. If the front looked welcoming people would come in, no good having a snazzy interior if folk just drove straight past.

So that is what I did and bloody hell did I find a lot that needed doing.
No matter how hard you look at a house you fancy buying all the little faults pass you by, you might notice some of the guttering looks dodgy but probably miss the fact that if you slam the bathroom door the tiles fall off the shower walls.

This goes 100 times more for a campsite, the picturesque red tiled roof with the charming strips of moss turns out to be a two day job to remove said moss, which has crept between the tiles and caused leaks all over the toilet block. Oh and then there are all the tiles that were cracked and need replacing, the tile shop just happens to be 40 km away. I think you can see where this is going (downhill fast actually).

For the last few years the Dutchies had really let things go, not through badness or laziness but, I think, just through lack of funds to do the necessary repairs.

My journey from the entrance of the campsite to the fence at the back was going to take a long time and a lot of money.....


----------



## campsitewriter

Kev_n_Liz said:


> Or Scotland, or Yorkshire, Great Britain??? the most backward country in Europe in so many ways


Is Yorkshire in Great Britain?


----------



## campsitewriter

siggie said:


> I didn't say your position was correct, just that my calculated decimal position matched what you gave :grin2:


Oh well if it's wrong I am sure there will be something else of interest when you arrive at wherever. Possibly I should input the co ordinates and leave a big sign where I arrive with directions to Champ de la Chapelle written on it.


----------



## JanHank

Finished the book Simon "A Tent in France" (Kindle book) enjoyed it. "A few tents more" will be next.
Jan


----------



## campsitewriter

JanHank said:


> Finished the book Simon "A Tent in France" (Kindle book) enjoyed it. "A few tents more" will be next.
> Jan


Wow, thanks. I am glad you enjoyed it, I originally just wrote it for our kids and then found how easy it was to put a book on Kindle.


----------



## campsitewriter

JanHank said:


> Finished the book Simon "A Tent in France" (Kindle book) enjoyed it. "A few tents more" will be next.
> Jan


It is 'A lot of tents in France' although I could certainly do with a 'few tents more'


----------



## campsitewriter

campsitewriter said:


> It is 'A lot of tents in France' although I could certainly do with a 'few tents more'


As I was saying the other day , there was a lot (and still is) of work to do on the campsite but don't worry I will not trail through every tedious detail.

I thought perhaps today I should try and establish my very tenuous claim to owning a motorhome.

This beastie is a Peugeot 404 van fully kitted out as a camper van as I believe they were called in the mid 1960s which is the date that this Peugeot was first registered.

The engine fires up and most of the mechanical bits work but the bodywork is in a perilous state. I am not really sure what to do with it (and before any clever bugger asks why did I buy it, there is a very good reason to which I shall allude shortly).

At the camp site there are a number of privately owned mobile homes and one is occupied by a single French lady in her sixties. For many years she holidayed here with her parents and they owned this Peugeot which seemed to be permanently parked up, covered in tarpaulins, next to their caravan.

When Daddy passed away the widow and her unmarried daughter could not bring themselves to part with the Peugeot and so it sat, year after year, mouldering away under the increasingly ragged looking tarpaulin.

When Lorraine and I were foolish lucky enough to buy the camp site this was just one of the many, many items on the 'must attend to' list. This list was by now into its second volume and growing fast.

The trouble being that just like the French lady with the old Peugeot, the Dutchies, who had previously owned Champ de la Chapelle, could not bring themselves to part with anything no matter how knackered and useless it may be.

This hoarding extended to broken fridges and even a mast for a sailboard complete with completely rotten sail. All this ****e useful stuff was stored around the back of the workshop.

In theory this sounds a little eccentric but otherwise harmless except for one tiny little problem. The workshop is a pleasant looking building with the obligatory rendered walls painted cream and roofed with red clay tiles. The problem is that this pretty little building is in the exact centre of the camp site so all the ****e useful stuff heaped up at the rear is only at the rear when one approaches from one direction. From the other directions campers just see a pile of rusty fridges with a building partly hidden behind.

So this was an eyesore and to make matters worse the be-sheeted Peugeot was parked nearby as well, so basically it looked like Steptoes yard rather than the green and pleasant area that most campers would expect to see.

The French lady was told in no uncertain terms that the camper van must be removed, to which she readily agreed, quelle surprise. This turned out to be the same tactics as used by the French government in response to EU legislation, 'mais oui, pas problem' and then proceed to do nothing.

In desperation I suggested to the mademoiselle that I had found a buyer who wished to restore the camper to its former glory. Now money was involved and she perked up and we settled down to haggle. Suffice to say that betwixt my threat to charge her €20/month for storage and the offer of €150 in cash she held out her hand.

And that is how I became the proud owner of a motorhome


----------



## cabby

I once had a Peugeot 404 estate car as a Taxi. Excellent diesel engine.This would make an ideal standby generator.If in reasonable condition might fetch a few bob as well, even if sold as spares.they are in short supply.

cabby


----------



## campsitewriter

cabby said:


> I once had a Peugeot 404 estate car as a Taxi. Excellent diesel engine.This would make an ideal standby generator.If in reasonable condition might fetch a few bob as well, even if sold as spares.they are in short supply.
> 
> cabby


Well that is interesting, the only problem that (mechanically) this one seems to have is that the clutch is not working. I am probably wrong but at a quick glance I thought that it was an oil operated clutch and if I'm right hopefully it will just need a top up.

One idea I had for it is as an ornament. A friend of mine is coming to the camp site for 8 or 9 weeks and is swapping his labour for a free stay (he will regret this).

This chap is very mechanically minded and has restored a number of old vehicles. My great idea (?) was to have him waterproof the Peugeot (the roof next to the guttering has a serious amount of small rusty holes) so if he can do a quick and cheap patch up I had thought of giving it a lick of paint and displaying it in the arrival area.

I stress that this is just an idea at the moment and in all likelihood will come to nought, we shall see.

When I return to France in the next couple of weeks I shall take some photos of the van and put them on here. The comments should be illuminating.


----------



## GMJ

You could turn it into one of these glorified flower beds you see: arrange a nice rockery around it, that kind of thing :smile2:

It would make a splendid focal point near arrivals.

Perhaps take the engine out first as I'm guessing if it does work it will probably outlast you or I and as said, may come in use.

Graham :smile2:


----------



## cabby

One idea maybe, Park up the van, cut off the back so it is just a flat bed,build a shed around the front, from the cab forwards to keep the engine etc protected from the weather and for sound deadening and access to the engine out of the weather, if it breaks down it will be in the poor weather. Fit a bigger alternator.

You could put a floor on the rear and sell goods or make it a flower display.

cabby


----------



## Pudsey_Bear

cabby said:


> One idea maybe, Park up the van, cut off the back so it is just a flat bed,build a shed around the front, from the cab forwards to keep the engine etc protected from the weather and for sound deadening and access to the engine out of the weather, if it breaks down it will be in the poor weather. Fit a bigger alternator.
> 
> You could put a floor on the rear and sell goods or make it a flower display.
> 
> cabby


And I thought I had a good imagination, can't visualise that though.


----------



## buxom

Just keep it coming and can put put your camp website address on I am sure you probably have but I got fed up of looking at this post due to the idiots we try to escape from by going to France and Spain, not always successfully! So keep it coming.


----------



## campsitewriter

buxom said:


> Just keep it coming and can put put your camp website address on I am sure you probably have but I got fed up of looking at this post due to the idiots we try to escape from by going to France and Spain, not always successfully! So keep it coming.


The website is www.champdelachapelle.com

if you really want to read about my camp site the best way (with no interruptions) is with the kindle books, 'A tent in France' and ' A lot of tents in France'. They are only about £2 each, so shouldn't break the bank.


----------



## campsitewriter

cabby said:


> One idea maybe, Park up the van, cut off the back so it is just a flat bed,build a shed around the front, from the cab forwards to keep the engine etc protected from the weather and for sound deadening and access to the engine out of the weather, if it breaks down it will be in the poor weather. Fit a bigger alternator.
> 
> You could put a floor on the rear and sell goods or make it a flower display.
> 
> cabby


Could you send a sketch as I am having difficulty visualising this hybrid van/shed


----------



## cabby

I could if you send me a photo of the vehicle to save me asking a lot of questions and where you would like to put it, assuming as a standby genny.

Some people on here just have no vision.:wink2::wink2:

cabby


----------



## campsitewriter

cabby said:


> I could if you send me a photo of the vehicle to save me asking a lot of questions and where you would like to put it, assuming as a standby genny.
> 
> Some people on here just have no vision.:wink2::wink2:
> 
> cabby


I am heading back to (hopefully) sunny France next week so once I am settled in I will post a photo or two


----------



## javea

Just read 'The Tent' and really enjoyed it, now to start on the next one!


----------



## campsitewriter

javea said:


> Just read 'The Tent' and really enjoyed it, now to start on the next one!


Thanks for the kind words.

When I write the posts on this site I try to add bits that are not in the books but obviously there is a bit of a cross over.

I don't know if any of you out there have seen the recent Channel 4 series 'A new life in the sun' which has been shown at 4.00pm on week days. The producer contacted me and suggested that if a second series is planned they could be quite interested in featuring Champ de la Chapelle. Hollywood could be just around the corner!

As I mentioned the other day I am heading back to France next week. The camp site actually opened last Saturday but I have left my trusty employees in the drivers seat as I have some physiotherapy appointments to attend before being classed fit for active service.

So hopefully everything will look nice and shiny should any of you call in to claim your free drink. There will be a short quiz to check that you have read my posts properly before receiving your bevvy.

Questions such as
1) did you think the posts were brilliant Y/N
2) do you think that the camp site sounds wonderful Y/N

So not that difficult then

I look forward to going back to France but am aware that I will find more jobs than there is time to do them. A small example is that last year one of the first things that guests would see on arrival at the camp site was the volleyball court. Nothing wrong with that you may say.

Well there was because one of the steel posts supporting the net leaned in at about 25 degrees from vertical. When I finally prepared to investigate why this should have happened I asked the Dutchies if someone had driven into it. They looked puzzled 'how do you mean' Liesbeth queried.
'Well it leans and looks stupid' I replied.
'Oh that is just part of the charm of France' came the nonchalant answer, as if it somehow compared to the leaning tower of Pisa. 'It has always been like that ever since we came here 8 years ago.

Well 5 minutes with a spade revealed the simple answer, not enough concrete around the base of the post. so 40 minutes later a large hole dug around the base, some rocks jammed in and a few buckets of concrete, job done.

Another little example was a raised concrete manhole cover just outside the laundry room. Every day one would hear a string of curses as a camper tripped over this offending slab which stuck up about 3 inches above the surrounding brick path.

Again simple repair, the concrete sections underneath the slab had not been set far enough into the ground. The answer, pull the top concrete section out, angle grind three inches off and replace, now the slab is level with the path.

It always amazes me when people trip over something year after year and never do anything about it.

So today the sun is shining and it is far to nice to be pounding a keyboard so speak to you all tomorrow.


----------



## pippin

That's the origin of the phrase "did you have a nice trip"!!!


----------



## dghr272

Simon, down to the local garden centre and get a load of plants and plant it and surrounding area up. :grin2::grin2:

Terry


----------



## campsitewriter

dghr272 said:


> Simon, down to the local garden centre and get a load of plants and plant it and surrounding area up. :grin2::grin2:
> 
> Terry


Well I would have just given it a wipe over with an oily rag and put it back on the road


----------



## campsitewriter

pippin said:


> That's the origin of the phrase "did you have a nice trip"!!!


 See you next fall


----------



## cabby

Hope it puts a new spring into your steps.:grin2::grin2:

cabby


----------



## pippin

Actually, I had to do just that - to the electric slide-out on the MH!


----------



## Pudsey_Bear

dghr272 said:


> Simon, down to the local garden centre and get a load of plants and plant it and surrounding area up. :grin2::grin2:
> 
> Terry


Gasp, sacrilege, that could have gone back on the road.


----------



## GMJ

dghr272 said:


> Simon, down to the local garden centre and get a load of plants and plant it and surrounding area up. :grin2::grin2:
> 
> Terry


That's what I had in kind with perhaps a nice rockery around it too :smile2:

Maybe even incorporate a little water feature also...

Graham :smile2:


----------



## chilly

GMJ said:


> Maybe even incorporate a little water feature also...


I think Barry d has already tried doing that >


----------



## campsitewriter

GMJ said:


> That's what I had in kind with perhaps a nice rockery around it too :smile2:
> 
> Maybe even incorporate a little water feature also...
> 
> Graham :smile2:


Slight concern that the local gents would assume it is a retro pissoir. Having said that it would remove the need for me to install a water feature.


----------



## campsitewriter

chilly said:


> I think Barry d has already tried doing that >


Sorry do you mean that Barry pi**ed in it?


----------



## campsitewriter

campsitewriter said:


> Sorry do you mean that Barry pi**ed in it?


Hi de Hi

Sorry for being absent for a while (I do have a letter from my parents). My last communique was just before I set off for foreign parts.

A rather boring drive to Dover took me through the whole gamut of the British weather, Blackburn to Stoke-sunny, Stoke to M25 rain, sleet and a bit of snow. Round London dull and grey, into Dover and it was pi**ing down.

Mind you France was pretty dull and grey also.

Finally arrival at Champ de la Chapelle and time to see what the Dutchies had been up to during my absence through the winter months.

Well on first glance they had enjoyed a very relaxing and extended Christmas break (October to the end of April). They pair hastily explained that the weather had been so horrendous that it had been impossible to do any outside work for the last 6 months.

Being a caring and understanding employer I merely replied 'pas probleme mes amis' and then explained all would be forgiven on the simple condition that they work double shifts for the next 6 months. I thought that this went down well.

Soon two Dutchies were busy raking leaves and mowing the grass, very odd how the weather perked up just as I arrived.

I busied myself with making a list of the most urgent things to do, this soon covered several sheets of A4.

I will retire now and make my evening meal and will continue this thrilling saga on a more regular basis (hopefully)


----------



## GMJ

I thought it had gone a bit quiet...

Graham :smile2:


----------



## campsitewriter

GMJ said:


> I thought it had gone a bit quiet...
> 
> Graham :smile2:


Glad to see you are paying attention, a gold star for that boy.

Do me a favour and give the other dozy old sods a nudge in the ribs.


----------



## MEES

Hey you I'm no dozy sod ! 
Was giving you due credit for your recent incapacity
Good to see you are fit enough to kick ass
Looking forward to hearing about further progress 
Margaret


----------



## cabby

I thought that maybe the Dutches had poisoned you in revenge.:grin2::grin2:

cabby


----------



## campsitewriter

cabby said:


> I thought that maybe the Dutches had poisoned you in revenge.:grin2::grin2:
> 
> cabby


I have a pet rodent that I use to test any food provided by the Dutchies. So far the rat is still alive but needs replacing as all of its teeth have fallen out. At first I suspected low levels of arsenic poisoning but it turns out the answer was far more simple. All Dutchies coat their food with chocolate sprinkles (I have even been offered a sprinkle sandwich that I foolishly accepted, this was not a good idea). The rat molars, which can gnaw through concrete, simply could not cope with the sugar overload present in the average Dutch diet. Holland could be a good place to open a dental practice.

But back to le camping.

When I first arrived back, the Dutchies had their daughter and her husband visiting and a jolly nice couple they were. The husband must have been 6' 8" and was very useful for fitting the canvas roof back on the marquee.

The other little job I had in mind for this gentle giant was to help me refurb the 6 flagpoles at the entrance to the camp site. Some of the halyards needed replacing before the 6 spanking new flags, that I had recently purchased, could be raised, thus indicating that we were open for business.

These flagpoles are certainly the dogs do dahs, 8 metres high and heavy duty galvanised steel, They sit in a steel tube set about a metre into the ground and therefore require lifting up before they can be laid on the ground ready for repairs.

Due to my recent back operation I certainly did not fancy this job of hoisting a 60 or 70 kilo pole and gently lowering it to the ground. Neither, for reasons soon to be revealed, did I want to have the two Dutchie employees anywhere near the flagpoles.

As we approached this job, my new very tall friend said 'Ya I can see that you need new flags, this looks terrible'. And indeed the fluttering array was not a welcoming sight, only 3 poles were adorned with flags, the remaining 3 poles were bare. The 3 flags remaining represented Great Britain, France and Holland but as they had been snapping in the wind and rain for 12 months they were lilac, pink and grey rather than their original vibrant red, white and blue.

As we two embarked on our labours to bring colour back to the Auvergne, a familiar schoolmistressy voice (try imagining Margaret Thatcher on speed with a Dutch accent, actually don't) could be heard approaching at a rate of knots,
'Oh **** it's the mother-in-law' groaned my companion.

'Why have you 6 flags, you only need three as the old ones will last a few more months' Liesbeth was on a thrift drive, 'there is nothing wrong with them'.

Now once upon a time I would have argued the toss with her explaining that flags are cheap as chips and should look good as this is the first view of the camp site to greet visitors. Hard experience has now taught me that this would be as pointless as pi**ing into the wind and a great way to waste several hours.

Now I merely said 'ya mine kapitan, you are as always correct' She doesn't do sarcasm and as usual fell for it and swerved off to tell someone else how to do their job.

Within 20 minutes we had replaced damaged halyards and raised 6 new flags. 'Quick pass me your knife' whispered my tall chum 'we need to slash the old flags or she will have them up again within a few days'. That lad certainly has the measure of his mother-in-law.

The flags in order of appearance were:
1; The incredibly boring EU flag. I fly this just in case the EU kommisars fancy handing out grants to ailing camp sites.
2; The Union Jack, for obvious reasons and also unlike most European flags some thought has gone into the design, ps always check the broad stripe is uppermost or someone driving a motorhome will point out that you are flying a distress signal.
3; The Belgian flag as we have many visitors from there.
4; The Tricolour, keeps the natives happy.
5; The Italian flag. An unusual choice you may think but I have my reasons
a) the colours are a nice change from red, white and blue.
b) Ibele (the male Dutchie) has a hatred of Italy and all things Italian, flying the bandiera d'Italia keeps his blood pressure nicely high.
6; Finally the proud red, white and navy blue of Holland, except that when we raised the standard of the Nederlands something caught our eyes, somehow the flag looked wrong but we were blowed if we could work it out.

Within moments the sound of an enraged cow elephant could be heard crashing towards us 'what is this' trumpeted MargaretThatcher Liesbet, 'why do you fly the flag of Luxembourg rather than the Dutch flag.

'I dunno Miss' I mumbled, 'why is it wrong Miss?'

'Can you not see that the blue is the wrong shade for Holland'.

'Er no'

No offense intended to any readers from Holland or Luxembourg but the only difference between your flags is the shade of blue. The upside of this mistake was of course that both Dutchies would now have heightened blood pressure. I had ordered the Dutch flag and indeed the envelope in which it had resided bore this out 'FLAG OF HOLLAND' was printed on the wrapper. God moves in mysterious ways.


----------



## cabby

You are beginning to grow on me, I could almost imagine me doing a deviation from my route just to drop in and visit. However due to circumstances we will not be leaving the UK this year.

cabby


----------



## campsitewriter

cabby said:


> You are beginning to grow on me, I could almost imagine me doing a deviation from my route just to drop in and visit. However due to circumstances we will not be leaving the UK this year.
> 
> cabby


Is that growing on you as in poison ivy or athletes foot. Only kidding and some time it would be lovely to meet some of you


----------



## cabby

My feet would suit an athlete, a swimmer I think considering the size.:grin2:

cabby


----------



## campsitewriter

cabby said:


> My feet would suit an athlete, a swimmer I think considering the size.:grin2:
> 
> cabby


Not long ago there was a lively discussion on this thread about GPS co ordinates etc an d I thought the following may be of interest

*Null Island is One of the Most Visited Places on Earth. Too Bad It Doesn't Exist
The ocean spot is the center of the world's geocoded map mistakes.
*

The article below was originally published in Worlds Revealed, the official blog of the Geography and Map Division of the Library of Congress, as "The Geographical Oddity of Null Island."

It doesn't seem like much of a place to visit. Granted, I've never actually been there, but I think I can imagine it: the vastness of ocean, overcast skies, a heavy humidity in the air. No land in sight, with the only distinguishing feature being a lonely buoy, bobbing up and down in the water. It almost seems like a "non-place," but it may surprise you to learn that this site is far from anonymous. This spot is a hive of activity in the world of geographic information systems (GIS).

As far as digital geospatial data is concerned, it may be one of the most visited places on Earth! This is Null Island.

Null Island
Artistic fantasy map of Null Island. Graphic by Ian Cairns on GitHub 2013.

Null Island is an imaginary island located at 0°N 0°E (hence "Null") in the South Atlantic Ocean. This point is where the equator meets the prime meridian. The exact origins of "Null Island" are a bit murky, but it did reach a wide audience no later than in 2011 when it was drawn into Natural Earth, a public domain map dataset developed by volunteer cartographers and GIS analysts. In creating a one-square meter plot of land at 0°N 0°E in the digital dataset, Null Island was intended to help analysts flag errors in a process known as "geocoding."

Geocoding is a function performed in a GIS that involves taking data containing addresses and converting them into geographic coordinates, which can then be easily mapped. For example, a data table of buildings in Washington, DC could include the Madison Building of the Library of Congress (where I'm reporting from) as a feature and include its address: 101 Independence Avenue SE, Washington, DC, 20540. This address typically makes sense to the layperson, but to put the address on a map using a GIS, the computer needs a translation. A "geocoder" converts this address into its location as set of coordinates in latitude and longitude, a format that a GIS understands. In this case, the Madison Building's geographic location becomes 38° 53′ 12″N, 77° 0′ 18″W (38.886667, -77.005 in decimal degree format). Anyone who has ever typed in an address on Google Maps or looked up driving directions on Mapquest has been a beneficiary of this tool: type in an address, get a pin on a map.

Unfortunately, due to human typos, messy data, or even glitches in the geocoder itself, the geocoding process doesn't always run so smoothly. Misspelled street names, non-existent building numbers, and other quirks can create invalid addresses that can confuse a geocoder so that the output becomes "0,0". While this output indicates that an error occurred, since "0,0" is in fact a location on the Earth's surface according to the coordinate system, the feature will be mapped there, as nonsensical as the location may be. We end up with an island of misfit data.

The zero latitude, zero longitude location of "Null Island"-fame is based on the World Geodetic System 1984 (WGS84), a commonly-used global reference system for modeling the Earth that is the standard for the Department of Defense and the Global Positioning System (GPS). Technically, if you were geocoding in another coordinate system or map projection (which are essentially different frameworks for adapting the Earth onto a sphere, ellipsoid, plane, or other shape for measurement and mapping), the position of "0,0" could be in one of thousands of locations around the world (A fun mapping experiment by Kenneth Field, Craig Williams, and David Burrows goes further down this rabbit hole). But for most standard geocoding, chances are, if you've ever geocoded less-than-perfect data and didn't check your results, some of your data points have probably visited this one peculiar spot in the Gulf of Guinea.

Sending geospatial data points off to Null Island, so to speak, is a recognizable sight among GIS professionals the world over. As a cartographer in the Geography and Map Division with quite a bit of geocoding experience under my belt, this phenomenon is certainly familiar to me. This shared experience among geographers has fed the mystique of Null Island, with GIS enthusiasts creating fantasy maps, a "national" flag, and articles detailing Null Island's rich (and fake) history online. The mystique, of course, is all just in good fun, although plenty of maps in the Geography and Map Division are just that: fantasy maps originating from one's own imagination and communicating interesting perspectives on art, culture, and technology.

That said, you may still be thinking that the significance of the location of Null Island is little more than a geographer's inside joke. But remember that lone buoy? That's Station 13010 (also known as "Soul"), a NOAA weather observation buoy. Permanently anchored at 0°N 0°E, Soul collects data on air temperature, water temperature, wind speed, wind direction and other variables as part of the Prediction and Research Moored Array in the Atlantic (PIRATA) program. Observations collected by Soul and other buoys in the PIRATA network support research into climatic conditions and weather forecasting in the Tropical Atlantic and beyond.


----------



## Pudsey_Bear

I can't believe I actually read all that.


----------



## carpe diem

a great read, its good that you know which way up to fly the union flag, but it's only called a union jack when it's flown on the jack staff of a Royal Navy ship.
usual apologies for being pedantic.:wink2:


----------



## GMJ

Kev_n_Liz said:


> I can't believe I actually read all that.


I didn't.

I fell asleep half-w.....:sleepy5:

Graham :wink2:


----------



## pippin

Carpe diem - instead of being pedantic why don't you just seize the day?!

Welcome aboard anyway!


----------



## GMJ

pippin said:


> Carpe diem - instead of being pedantic why don't you just seize the day?!
> 
> Welcome aboard anyway!


Not sure who that is aimed at tbh but the comments I left were all in jest...

Hence the :wink2:

*EDITED TO ADD: sorry Pippin - I just read the post above re the Union Flag ...and I do appreciate your Latin humour as well *

Graham :smile2:


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## pippin

That's OK Graham - culpa tua!


----------



## GMJ

...yes it was my fault :grin2:

callidus dick >

Graham :smile2:


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## Sprinta

carpe diem said:


> a great read, its good that you know which way up to fly the union flag, but it's only called a union jack when it's flown on the jack staff of a Royal Navy ship.
> usual apologies for being pedantic.:wink2:


if you hang a PEDANT does he become a PENDANT ?:laugh:


----------



## Sprinta

Null Island exists look.....

http://www.nullisland.com/


----------



## campsitewriter

Sprinta said:


> Null Island exists look.....
> 
> http://www.nullisland.com/


Well blow me down so it does.

Well just a short post today as I am cream crackered but happy that Null Island exists and the Union Flag excited such a deluge of comments.

While you chaps were consulting your Latin textbooks (saved from the Second Year at Grammar school) I have been working mighty hard here at Champ de la Chapelle.

There are a few privately owned static caravans on site and we rent them out on behalf of the owners, one of these is booked for 7 days commencing this Saturday. The guests are an elderly French couple who may be joined by their daughter.

I have to earn my share of the rental by readying the caravans for guests, making sure both the interior and exterior are sparkling clean. This is a real sod of a job especially for the first rental of the new season.

Just as television sets attract dust, so a static caravan attracts bird s**t and green algae. You chaps will all be accustomed to giving your motorhomes a wash and polish and a fair job that can be. Try a static, they are rather like a reverse Tardis, far larger on the outside than they have any right to be and yet surprisingly smaller on the inside (especially when living in one for extended periods).

This particular caravan is owned by a French family and they stay when there is a gap in bookings. Anyway to cut a long story short, I set about the outside while Liesbet spring cleaned the living quarters.

My initial job was to pressure wash the 30 or so square metres of decking which was covered in a thick layer of glutinous crap but first I had to remove the patio furniture.

Normally this would consist of a table and chairs, possibly a parasol and maybe a barbecue. Mais non, remember this is a French owned caravan so one would expect a certain amount of extraneous junk, gnomes,broken satellite dishes and so on.

In one corner of this pretty little veranda lurked a large object wrapped in a blue tarpaulin and tied about with that curious black twine that seems wrapped around all of rural France. 'Ah ha' I thought 'I bet there is a top of the range barbie hiding under that tarp'.

I was almost correct, I fact it covered a rusting fridge with a broken door and a completely knackered fitted gas oven from a presumably long defunct caravan.

When I queried this find with Liesbet she just shrugged, patiently I explained that guests would probably rather not share their alfresco glass of wine with a pile of scrap metal. 'They are French they will not bother and neither would a Dutch family' she muttered.

I fell into the trap of trying to reason with her, completely forgetting that she has her own personal collection of broken household goods. 'Yes but what if an English family stayed here. would they want their children playing in an old refrigerator?'

'I don't know, the English are strange'. This conversation was going nowhere until I had the bright idea of saying 'surely you are not suggesting that it is a good idea to keep this pile of junk on a holiday home veranda'. That shut her up, well for five minutes.

I recount this tale to show the huge gulf between Britain and the rest of Europe. With the exception of the Germans (who would pressure wash their decking every day of the year and twice on Sundays) most Europeans would simply regard their expensive veranda as a useful place to store broken white goods. In fact with a little imagination a ruined fridge could soon become a charming occasional table for those special family events.

I must become more European.


----------



## campsitewriter

Kev_n_Liz said:


> I can't believe I actually read all that.


Sorry, I will try and put pictures in next time.


----------



## pippin

Sprinta:

if you hang a PEDANT does he become a PENDANT ?

I'll SWING for you if you make jokes like that!


----------



## cabby

I did refrain from saying that, just long enough to let you.:grin2::grin2:

cabby


----------



## campsitewriter

GMJ said:


> ...yes it was my fault :grin2:
> 
> callidus dick >
> 
> Graham :smile2:


_It is better to be inside the tent peeing out..rather than outside the tent peeing in!_

Depends if you own a camp site


----------



## pippin

and if there is a drought!

Many years ago, loading cargo at a remote South Australian port, 
when we asked the pub landlord to direct us to the toilets he answered:

"Out on the back lawn, mates, don't you know there is a drought on"

True story!


----------



## Harrers

_My initial job was to pressure wash the 30 or so square metres of decking which was covered in a thick layer of glutinous crap but first I had to remove the patio furniture.

Normally this would consist of a table and chairs, possibly a parasol and maybe a barbecue._

Yes I know what you mean! I am working for a holiday company in France and one of my jobs includes cleaning decks and exteriors of mobile homes. In this case deckings contain: 2 sun-loungers, 4 chairs, 2 recliners, table, parasol, parasol stand (30+kg), gas barbecue and a clothes airer. So before you do anything you have to clear all of that! Then you need a water supply for the deck scubber - either inside the mobile where you can connect to the shower mixer or outside where you can connect to the mains feed. You also need to connect to the power supply within in the mobile providing it's connected. If the decking is is under trees you can expect to spend a further hour of back-breaking scrubbing to get it clean to a good standard.

The exterior of a mobile has a propensity to take on the colour of anything that might be near to it. So if it is near to a hedge or a bush you have to get into said hedge or bush to scrub the mobile clean and remove the green stain. You may be lucky enough to have a powerful jet-wash but unless the exterior is cleaned frequently, you will need to use a scubbing brush. I have noticed on the site that I am currently working on that the owners who are the main suppliers of holiday homes ensure that their mobiles are jet-washed frequently. Some of the decks I am washing are only cleaned once a season (if that!)

What is worse is where we have cleaned exteriors and then someone else has come along afterwards and cleaned pine needles etc from the roof and the gutters. The resulting mud splashes have then dried in the sun and make the re-clean of the mobile twice as difficult. I know that better organisation would not have necessitated a re-clean!

I shouldn't complain about such things as I am just a salaried employee but I realise as a former employer that it is more advantageous if such things are better organised.


----------



## campsitewriter

Harrers said:


> _My initial job was to pressure wash the 30 or so square metres of decking which was covered in a thick layer of glutinous crap but first I had to remove the patio furniture.
> 
> Normally this would consist of a table and chairs, possibly a parasol and maybe a barbecue._
> 
> Yes I know what you mean! I am working for a holiday company in France and one of my jobs includes cleaning decks and exteriors of mobile homes. In this case deckings contain: 2 sun-loungers, 4 chairs, 2 recliners, table, parasol, parasol stand (30+kg), gas barbecue and a clothes airer. So before you do anything you have to clear all of that! Then you need a water supply for the deck scubber - either inside the mobile where you can connect to the shower mixer or outside where you can connect to the mains feed. You also need to connect to the power supply within in the mobile providing it's connected. If the decking is is under trees you can expect to spend a further hour of back-breaking scrubbing to get it clean to a good standard.
> 
> The exterior of a mobile has a propensity to take on the colour of anything that might be near to it. So if it is near to a hedge or a bush you have to get into said hedge or bush to scrub the mobile clean and remove the green stain. You may be lucky enough to have a powerful jet-wash but unless the exterior is cleaned frequently, you will need to use a scubbing brush. I have noticed on the site that I am currently working on that the owners who are the main suppliers of holiday homes ensure that their mobiles are jet-washed frequently. Some of the decks I am washing are only cleaned once a season (if that!)
> 
> What is worse is where we have cleaned exteriors and then someone else has come along afterwards and cleaned pine needles etc from the roof and the gutters. The resulting mud splashes have then dried in the sun and make the re-clean of the mobile twice as difficult. I know that better organisation would not have necessitated a re-clean!
> 
> I shouldn't complain about such things as I am just a salaried employee but I realise as a former employer that it is more advantageous if such things are better organised.


Amazing but true

This could well have a few mistakes as I am slightly the worse (or better) for drink.

On Saturday I woke feeling full of beans (no breaking wind jokes thank you)

Anyway it was rather damp so that ruled out quite a lot of jobs involving paint etc.

I decided to try and look at the camp site with 'new eyes' so to speak. To look at it as a newly arriving, pedantic and slightly anal motorhome owner would with a jaundiced yet slightly bloodshot eye.

Check, Union Flag correctly orientated
Check, no bits of tree within 2 metres of the jolly old motorhome (sorry, imperial, one third of a rod, chain or perch or whatever) 
Check, no children or foreigners
Check, cheap as chips but can I beat the bastards down.

So I passed the first test, the child catcher had done wonders for business.

So on entering what would the motorhome owners eye light upon.

Well, an abandoned sit n ride mower, various knackered bits of patio furniture, pre Euro ice cream signs (not kidding about this one), broken childrens plastic sandpit, bits of mower etc, etc.

There were little piles and collections of sh*te everywhere so I just collected all the obvious stuff up and then retired to my static caravan to get hammered.

Sunday morn was a revelation (not only was it Whit Sunday) Ibele was out tidying up of his own accord, he actually admitted there was so much sh*te about the place that he did not know where to start. Praise the Lord that I had been able to lead the way to his salvation.

That little Dutchie went at the tidying like a good un, I couldn't stop him. What about the female Dutchie, the redoubtable Lisbeth. Well on Sunday she never showed her head.

Monday and I wanted to tackle the f'ing unbelievable 4 caravans dotted about the site that were 
a) knackered
b) full of sh*te

'Oh look at this beautiful cushion,the material is so nice' (yeah, in 1973) moaned Lisbeth in ecstasy'

'Sorry it's sh*te and is getting thrown out'. gosh I can be manly at times.

'But if we save this caravan we could lend it to people that wanted to pack up their tent the night before they left and then they could sleep in this caravan'. Full marks to the lass, she would go down fighting.

I think this is a medical problem and I believe the full Latin name is 'Iamatightdutchpersonitis', hey how they ever go to the toilet is beyond me, (no,no that is useful, it could be a doorstop).

It remind s me of the old joke about Taffy and Daffydd (if they are spelt wrong, please don't tell me) driving along the M6

Daffydd; you will have to stop I really need a sh*t

Taffy; ok, just go behind that bush

Daffydd; Eh Taffy have you got any paper

Taffy: oh man don't be so tight, just leave it where it is

This crazy Dutch woman was trying to justify keeping yet more knackered caravans on site, she even held up a moth eaten rug covered in mouse droppings and said 'this could be washed and would come up like new'.

So one Dutchie converted and one still feral, anyone got a shotgun?


----------



## campsitewriter

campsitewriter said:


> Amazing but true
> 
> This could well have a few mistakes as I am slightly the worse (or better) for drink.
> 
> On Saturday I woke feeling full of beans (no breaking wind jokes thank you)
> 
> Anyway it was rather damp so that ruled out quite a lot of jobs involving paint etc.
> 
> I decided to try and look at the camp site with 'new eyes' so to speak. To look at it as a newly arriving, pedantic and slightly anal motorhome owner would with a jaundiced yet slightly bloodshot eye.
> 
> Check, Union Flag correctly orientated
> Check, no bits of tree within 2 metres of the jolly old motorhome (sorry, imperial, one third of a rod, chain or perch or whatever)
> Check, no children or foreigners
> Check, cheap as chips but can I beat the bastards down.
> 
> So I passed the first test, the child catcher had done wonders for business.
> 
> So on entering what would the motorhome owners eye light upon.
> 
> Well, an abandoned sit n ride mower, various knackered bits of patio furniture, pre Euro ice cream signs (not kidding about this one), broken childrens plastic sandpit, bits of mower etc, etc.
> 
> There were little piles and collections of sh*te everywhere so I just collected all the obvious stuff up and then retired to my static caravan to get hammered.
> 
> Sunday morn was a revelation (not only was it Whit Sunday) Ibele was out tidying up of his own accord, he actually admitted there was so much sh*te about the place that he did not know where to start. Praise the Lord that I had been able to lead the way to his salvation.
> 
> That little Dutchie went at the tidying like a good un, I couldn't stop him. What about the female Dutchie, the redoubtable Lisbeth. Well on Sunday she never showed her head.
> 
> Monday and I wanted to tackle the f'ing unbelievable 4 caravans dotted about the site that were
> a) knackered
> b) full of sh*te
> 
> 'Oh look at this beautiful cushion,the material is so nice' (yeah, in 1973) moaned Lisbeth in ecstasy'
> 
> 'Sorry it's sh*te and is getting thrown out'. gosh I can be manly at times.
> 
> 'But if we save this caravan we could lend it to people that wanted to pack up their tent the night before they left and then they could sleep in this caravan'. Full marks to the lass, she would go down fighting.
> 
> I think this is a medical problem and I believe the full Latin name is 'Iamatightdutchpersonitis', hey how they ever go to the toilet is beyond me, (no,no that is useful, it could be a doorstop).
> 
> It remind s me of the old joke about Taffy and Daffydd (if they are spelt wrong, please don't tell me) driving along the M6
> 
> Daffydd; you will have to stop I really need a sh*t
> 
> Taffy; ok, just go behind that bush
> 
> Daffydd; Eh Taffy have you got any paper
> 
> Taffy: oh man don't be so tight, just leave it where it is
> 
> This crazy Dutch woman was trying to justify keeping yet more knackered caravans on site, she even held up a moth eaten rug covered in mouse droppings and said 'this could be washed and would come up like new'.
> 
> So one Dutchie converted and one still feral, anyone got a shotgun?


Sorry to put a quote to my own mindless piece of drivel BUT

I have to tell you, the last 3 visitors here were: a couple from N. Ireland, a couple from Chester and a couple from Holland and (on an independent survey) they all said that this was the most beautiful site that they had ever stayed on (and I did not have to give discount to get them to say that).


----------



## cabby

Perhaps we ought to hold a rally at this wonderful campsite, bring a few knic knacs for lisbeth to drool over, no charge just a discount will do.>>.

cabby


----------



## MEES

So funny - keep them coming


----------



## Pudsey_Bear

You should write book


----------



## GMJ

campsitewriter said:


> ... To look at it as a newly arriving, pedantic and slightly anal motorhome owner would with a jaundiced yet slightly bloodshot eye...


You have now officially been on here too long >



campsitewriter said:


> It remind s me of the old joke about Taffy and Daffydd...


Did they have to be Welsh in your joke??? Surely the sweaties or the Yorkies are more renown for their tightness :frown2:

Graham :grin2:


----------



## Pudsey_Bear

GMJ said:


> You have now officially been on here too long >
> 
> Did they have to be Welsh in your joke??? Surely the sweaties or the Yorkies are more renown for their tightness :frown2:
> 
> Graham :grin2:


Sweaties WTF are they G ???

I liked that it was the welsh, no one ever has a go at them.


----------



## chilly

Kev_n_Liz said:


> Sweaties WTF are they G ???


Sweaty socks = Jocks


----------



## GMJ

Kev_n_Liz said:


> Sweaties WTF are they G ???


Sweaties = sweaty socks = jocks = Scots



Kev_n_Liz said:


> I liked that it was the welsh, no one ever has a go at them.


OY...English B*stard...we are a down trodden race I'll have you know. EVERYONE has had a go at us over the years :grin2:

Graham :grin2:


----------



## Pudsey_Bear

GMJ said:


> Sweaties = sweaty socks = jocks = Scots
> 
> OY...English B*stard...we are a down trodden race I'll have you know. EVERYONE has had a go at us over the years :grin2:
> 
> Graham :grin2:


Yes true, sort of makes you wonder why though


----------



## Sprinta

perhaps it's me, but, I can't actually find your address on your website. I can find the general area by the description, but that's all.

I'm sort of in the general area in September and would like to call in if I know exactly where you are


----------



## nicholsong

GMJ said:


> Sweaties = sweaty socks = jocks = Scots
> 
> OY...English B*stard...we are a down trodden race I'll have you know. EVERYONE has had a go at us over the years :grin2:
> 
> Graham :grin2:


The Romans did not - probably thought it was not worth the bother:wink2:


----------



## cabby

They were put off by reports about Barry.:grin2::grin2:

cabb


----------



## pippin

Look you now boyo - if you insist on cr4pping on the Welsh then I shall ignore your instruction:

"It remind s me of the old joke about Taffy and Daffydd (if they are spelt wrong, please don't tell me)" 

There is only one eff in Dafydd.

And I'm not him!

*
Cymru am byth!*


----------



## campsitewriter

cabby said:


> Perhaps we ought to hold a rally at this wonderful campsite, bring a few knic knacs for lisbeth to drool over, no charge just a discount will do.>>.
> 
> cabby


It would be absolutely wonderful if you did hold a rally here and I will gladly give a 35% discount to all members. I think you would have a great time and I will even hold one of our legendary 'cheese and wine evenings' with the added bonus of Liesbeth hosting it, she is very good at that. Only €7.00 per head and all the wine and cheese that you can drink and eat, bargain (and excellent fun).

Please DO NOT bring any more knick knacks for the Dutchies, my next proper post will reveal all!


----------



## campsitewriter

Kev_n_Liz said:


> You should write book


That is not a bad idea, I wonder why I never thought of doing that.


----------



## campsitewriter

GMJ said:


> You have now officially been on here too long >
> 
> Did they have to be Welsh in your joke??? Surely the sweaties or the Yorkies are more renown for their tightness :frown2:
> 
> Graham :grin2:


I used to work in Wales selling animal feed and generally I knew when a Welsh person approached by the squeaking sound


----------



## campsitewriter

campsitewriter said:


> I used to work in Wales selling animal feed and generally I knew when a Welsh person approached by the squeaking sound


I must clarifythat last comment, I was referring to Welsh farmers not the population of that fair Principality as a whole (hole?)


----------



## campsitewriter

chilly said:


> Sweaty socks = Jocks


My wife is a Jockess and she loves spending (my) money


----------



## pippin

Oi! Campie "my next proper post I will reveal all!!

No, please, NO!


----------



## campsitewriter

Sprinta said:


> perhaps it's me, but, I can't actually find your address on your website. I can find the general area by the description, but that's all.
> 
> I'm sort of in the general area in September and would like to call in if I know exactly where you are


Sorry about that, I shall attend to it immediately

The address is

Camping Champ de la Chapelle
03360, BRAIZE

Just had a quick check and if you go on the website and click on campsite at top right and then select who and where on the drop down menu you will find the GPS co ordinates and google maps, hope that is useful but you are right I should make it more obvious, thanks and hope to see you for your free drink!


----------



## campsitewriter

pippin said:


> Look you now boyo - if you insist on cr4pping on the Welsh then I shall ignore your instruction:
> 
> "It remind s me of the old joke about Taffy and Daffydd (if they are spelt wrong, please don't tell me)"
> 
> There is only one eff in Dafydd.
> 
> And I'm not him!
> 
> *
> Cymru am byth!*


sorry about the unnecessary f ing


----------



## campsitewriter

pippin said:


> Oi! Campie "my next proper post I will reveal all!!
> 
> No, please, NO!


But I bought a wide angle lens specially for that


----------



## pippin

Are you boasting or complaining?!!


----------



## campsitewriter

campsitewriter said:


> But I bought a wide angle lens specially for that


Smilies
Close your eyes now as I do plan to reveal all

My biggest problems with the Dutchies is
1) they know everything about camping
2) they consider the Dutch way of doing things to be the only way
3) as mentioned they are hoarders extraordinaire

These three vices add up to a big pain in the bum, they are genuinely lovely people and would go a Dutch mile (kilometre) out of their way to help you.

A small example of this is the old static caravan that we keep for friends and relatives to stay in. It is old but clean and comfortable and obviously friends and relatives stay for free.

When I first looked inside last year before our daughter, Erika and hubby Andy along with their two very small children came to stay, it was packed with little Dutch knick knacks, pottery clogs, milk jugs shaped like cows, dildos with a 'gift from Amsterdam' printed along the shaft, in fact all the usual junk one would see in an old Dutch persons house.

Lorraine, my wife, carefully packed all this treasure in a large box along with the 3 and 4 year old magazines from the magazine rack and presented them to Liesbeth.

'But why do you not want these beautiful ornaments (if you ever get to the camp site try and make Liesbeth say 'beautiful' it is an experience not to be missed) people will not want to come to an empty caravan'. She was almost in tears.

I personally would not want to stay in a hotel and see pictures of the managers family tastefully arrayed around the room or even small mementos of his family holidays over the years.

To give a small example of the extent of the hoarding practiced by my trusty employee, I shall relate the following short tale.

Out shopping with Liesbeth I mentioned that I could do with a small rug for one of the mobile homes on site. I had just spotted a perfect little mat competitively priced at only €6.99 and it seemed a bargain.

'No, no, do not waste your money (she is very tight) I have a beautiful rug at home that you can have'.

Being a bit green , I replied 'great that will save a few bob'.

On arriving back at Champ de la Chapelle Liesbeth disappeared into one of the 4 or 5 knackered old caravans that she used to store, well knackered old stuff in.

Twenty minutes later she reappeared with a huge roll of carpet tucked under her arm. 'This is a beautiful carpet, I received it as a wedding gift'.

My heart sank, Ibele and Liesbeth were about to celebrate their 40th wedding anniversary and I was almost certain that this would not turn out to be a Persian rug.

It was actually a Bry-nylon horror in shades of grey and more grey, the only good thing about it was that it would be far larger than the area in the caravan and so I would not have to turn down this beautiful gift.

But back to the present day. Unbeknown to the Dutchies I had arranged for Christian, the French equivalent of Del Boy, to drop by with his van and trailer and do a run to the local tip for me. Christian is a sucker for this type of job, he always expects that he will find a Picasso or some treasure amongst my unwonted belongings.

It was pitiful to see the look on Liesbeths face as all this junk was thrown into the van and trailer. 'That refrigerator only needs a new door and motor, if the rust was scraped off and it was repainted it would last for another few years'.

Worse was to come, the old caravans needed emptying before being sold to other Dutch people who would spend many happy hours making them into trailers. As we dragged out the upholstery great wails of anguish issued from her lips, 'look at those cushions, they are beautiful'. The arguments only stopped when a family of mice, nesting inside the cushion, ran across her hand.

At that moment a break in the rather threatening clouds allowed a ray of sunshine to illuminate the camp site. 'There you go Liesbeth, it must be a sign that we are doing the right thing'. I spoke in jest but she became a changed woman from that moment on.

I want the old Liesbeth back. Now if I lean a leaf rake against a tree while I catch my breath it disappears back into the tool store. What have I created?

Seriously though the place is starting to look great, how the Dutchies could have lovingly mowed the grass and trimmed the 800 trees and then gone and filled the place with junk is beyond me.

I think that it is only now when they see the 6 hectares minus rubbish that they realise that their hoarding had well and truly got out of hand.


----------



## campsitewriter

pippin said:


> Are you boasting or complaining?!!


Just a statement really


----------



## Sprinta

campsitewriter said:


> Sorry about that, I shall attend to it immediately
> 
> The address is
> 
> Camping Champ de la Chapelle
> 03360, BRAIZE
> 
> Just had a quick check and if you go on the website and click on campsite at top right and then select who and where on the drop down menu you will find the GPS co ordinates and google maps, hope that is useful but you are right I should make it more obvious, thanks and hope to see you for your free drink!


OK, I went back and had another look and found it. However, I give up looking very quickly and had this been a 'real' situation I would have said sod it and given up.


----------



## campsitewriter

Sprinta said:


> OK, I went back and had another look and found it. However, I give up looking very quickly and had this been a 'real' situation I would have said sod it and given up.


In that case I am glad I could clarify things and I will take steps to make the address more prominent


----------



## gaspode

campsitewriter said:


> In that case I am glad I could clarify things and I will take steps to make the address more prominent


Can I also suggest that you list the GPS coordinates in decimal format, not degrees, minutes and seconds. It's the universally accepted format these days, the imperial units are old hat like pounds shillings and pence. Try putting the GPS stated on your site into Google maps, it won't recognise the data.

ie: 46.643051, 2.654442 in your case.


----------



## eurajohn

gaspode said:


> Can I also suggest that you list the GPS coordinates in decimal format, not degrees, minutes and seconds. It's the universally accepted format these days, the imperial units are old hat like pounds shillings and pence. Try putting the GPS stated on your site into Google maps, it won't recognise the data.
> 
> ie: 46.643051, 2.654442 in your case.


Can't quite agree with you there, anyone used to inputting co-ordinates from most of the aires or campsite guides will be more familiar with the imperial format as that is the format most of the guides quote.
.


----------



## Pudsey_Bear

I find the Gaspodes co=ords better to tap in, and use them in preference, but I don't use any campsite guides.

If I have them in another format I use this app to convert them.

https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=appinventor.ai_aris_websitewerk.GPSconverter


----------



## Sprinta

I've never tried GPS numbers and prefer to put in an address and postcode, it works for me as it gets the satnag working or Google to go and look at the area.

put in camping de la chappelle 03360 braize gets this

https://www.google.co.uk/maps/place...57ae00982c44!8m2!3d46.643109!4d2.655169?hl=en

hm, scroll right out and I don't think there can be anywhere that can be more central in France than here


----------



## gaspode

eurajohn said:


> Can't quite agree with you there, anyone used to inputting co-ordinates from most of the aires or campsite guides will be more familiar with the imperial format as that is the format most of the guides quote.
> .


In that case, try copying the coordinates from Simon's website, paste them into Google maps (the most universally used map website) and see what you get.


----------



## eurajohn

gaspode said:


> In that case, try copying the coordinates from Simon's website, paste them into Google maps (the most universally used map website) and see what you get.


I'm not trying to dis-agree with your belief that the decimal is now universally accepted as the norm (Google).
Please check the format of the co-ordinates in the likes of All the Aires, Camperstops, ACSI etc. and hopefully you will see what I mean and where I'm coming from.
.


----------



## GMJ

I only used coordinates once last year on our summer trip...and it took us to a place 1 hour away from where we needed to be :frown2:

Address/post code/look at map...for me from now on

Graham :smile2:


----------



## gaspode

eurajohn said:


> I'm not trying to dis-agree with your belief that the decimal is now universally accepted as the norm (Google).
> Please check the format of the co-ordinates in the likes of All the Aires, Camperstops, ACSI etc. and hopefully you will see what I mean and where I'm coming from.
> .


Yes, I have noticed that many of them seem to use old fashioned formats, probably because of the cost of converting. They'll have to bite the bullet and move into the 21st century eventually - and the sooner the better IMO. It's a bit like the grocers who still insist on selling goods on pounds and ounces, just Luddites who can't see how much easier decimal units are.


----------



## Pudsey_Bear

Yeah but saying "you don't get many of those in a Kilo", jsut isn't the same is it


----------



## eurajohn

GMJ said:


> I only used coordinates once last year on our summer trip...and it took us to a place 1 hour away from where we needed to be :frown2:
> 
> Address/post code/look at map...for me from now on
> 
> Graham :smile2:


 Graham, that will because you entered the information incorrectly, that is just another problem with the non digital formats, if you enter the divider as a full stop instead of a comma (or vice-versa) you will get a result just not the right one.

latitude and longitude coordinates can be formatted in three different ways:

*Degrees* (d.d°) - 49.5000°, -123.5000°
*Minutes* (d°m.m') - 49°30.0', -123°30.0'
*Seconds* (d°m's'') - 49°30'00"N, 123°30'00"W
There are other subtle variations as well, which is why gaspodes suggestion of utilising decimal is a good one, just possibly not one that will be familiar to people used to using guide books

Just one more thing (as Columbo would have said) using postcodes in the majority of European countries is not a viable proposition.

.


----------



## GMJ

3 different 'old' ways AND a totally different 'new' way as well???

Too much phaff for me...I managed 15 campsites plus 2500 miles with addresses/postcodes last year on our big trip abroad and will be going further this year using the same :smile2:

Maybe I'll look at learning how coordinates work next winter when I have the time

Graham :smile2:


----------



## Pudsey_Bear

GMJ said:


> 3 different 'old' ways AND a totally different 'new' way as well???
> 
> Too much phaff for me...I managed 15 campsites plus 2500 miles with addresses/postcodes last year on our big trip abroad and will be going further this year using the same :smile2:
> 
> Maybe I'll look at learning how coordinates work next winter when I have the time
> 
> Graham :smile2:


Why not learn on each one Graham, I do it that way, I just input them as and when, by the time you've done two or three, it'll be second nature.

I need to use them as Maps.me use them, and I just tap the coordinates into CoPilot etc.


----------



## nicholsong

Regardless of input into a satnav, if one wishes to locate a position on a map which uses Lat and Long it is far easier with Degrees/mins/secs.

Using decimals requires one to mentally convert back to base 60. 

Geoff


----------



## Pudsey_Bear

nicholsong said:


> Regardless of input into a satnav, if one wishes to locate a position on a map which uses Lat and Long it is far easier with Degrees/mins/secs.
> 
> Using decimals requires one to mentally convert back to base 60.
> 
> Geoff


But I'd have to convert to that so how can it be easier Geoff?


----------



## JanHank

Coowee Simon,
I put the numbers in the Becker that whats-his-name gave us :-

46.643051
2.654442 
It gave me
Lieu-Dit le Champ de ChapellF-03360 Braize _is that correct?_

From here its 1,419 km. Further than going to the UK :frown2: so I don´t think we will be popping in to see you for a weekend at anytime :serious:


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## jiwawa

We once ended up in entirely the wrong place cos I converted minutes n seconds wrongly - and I'm (was!) a mathematician!!


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## Pudsey_Bear

JWW said:


> We once ended up in entirely the wrong place cos I converted minutes n seconds wrongly - and I'm (was!) a mathematician!!


Should have worked it out with a pencil, theres a joke in there somwhere


----------



## barryd

eurajohn said:


> I'm not trying to dis-agree with your belief that the decimal is now universally accepted as the norm (Google).
> Please check the format of the co-ordinates in the likes of All the Aires, Camperstops, ACSI etc. and hopefully you will see what I mean and where I'm coming from.
> .


True and it drives me bonkers. Why these books have not adopted the universal decimal system is beyond me. It so much easier and as Gaspode says its what google maps and the likes of Autoroute understand.

The simple answer is to display both. CC Infos manages this perfectly

It also frustrates me on many websites why this info is not displayed in both formats that you can see immediately. The French seem particularly bad at this. You look up an attraction or a venue where you might be visiting and they may put a vague address and a postcode (Which is pointless) but no GPS.

EDIT: Sorry missed some posts. Whats so difficult in typing in for example 52.87705 10.12277 which will take you to within a couple of metres of where you want to be unlike a French postcode which covers miles?


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## campsitewriter

barryd said:


> True and it drives me bonkers. Why these books have not adopted the universal decimal system is beyond me. It so much easier and as Gaspode says its what google maps and the likes of Autoroute understand.
> 
> The simple answer is to display both. CC Infos manages this perfectly
> 
> It also frustrates me on many websites why this info is not displayed in both formats that you can see immediately. The French seem particularly bad at this. You look up an attraction or a venue where you might be visiting and they may put a vague address and a postcode (Which is pointless) but no GPS.
> 
> EDIT: Sorry missed some posts. Whats so difficult in typing in for example 52.87705 10.12277 which will take you to within a couple of metres of where you want to be unlike a French postcode which covers miles?


Hi, sorry to divert this thread away from the fascinating world of GPS co-ordinates, no on second thoughts I will stick my sixpen'oth in.

There have been many questions as to the exact GPS co- ordinates of my campsite, suggestions have used everything from E=mc2 to πr2. I am quite lucky because Champ de la Chapelle is the name of the hamlet so will appear on sat navs.

Anyway back to the lovely sunny (28 C) day that was our Saturday here. The wonderful weather prompted us to uncover the swimming pool. Yes I know that it is going to p*ss down on Sunday but as the water level always needs topping up after the winter, that will save on the water bills.

We need to be organised as I have a large party of Brits coming 31.05-02.06 and knowing some of them it will be a wild three days. The Fruitcakes think they are hardcore, they should meet this lot.

So the only other event worth relating was when a large and expensive motorhome (a saturn 5 turbocharged V8 crew cab Bentley with an art deco body by William Van Alen} driven by a French couple arrived on site.

Liesbeth showed them around and let them select a pitch whilst I finished off a small painting job.

Once I had cleaned up I went to check on a load of washing that I had deposited into the camp site washing machine about an hour previously. On entering the laundry room the recently arrived French lady was drumming her fingers on the top of the washing machine and sighing in a very theatrical manner.

'Don't worry the machine is on the final rinse so it will be finished in ten minutes at the most' I reassured her, before disappearing off to do another small job about the camp site.

Imagine my surprise when returning to the laundry room 10 minutes later to find my washing in a laundry basket and the French persons unmentionables whizzing merrily around in the washing machine.

'Must have only taken 5 minutes to finish' I thought as I picked up the basket containing my washed and spin dried togs. The laundry basket seemed suspiciously heavy and I felt my clothes, the cheeky cow had only stopped the machine before the final spin and dumped my wet stuff in the basket.

For a very short moment I considered stopping the washer and chucking a handful of paper tissues in but my better nature won.


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## cabby

I would have tipped a bucket of water in after the last spin.

cabby


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## campsitewriter

cabby said:


> I would have tipped a bucket of water in after the last spin.
> 
> cabby


You are one hard man


----------



## Pudsey_Bear

As this sound like such a really nice place, I thought I would see if I could put it in my sat nav as we probably will not have wifi most of the time when away.

So I put Champ de la chapelle into Google, and true enough there is a camp site, moved to Google maps, to get my own coordinates and that's where it all goes wrong, see screen shots including where Copilot think it is according to Googles reference, and I used both sets of the show coordinates on Google, needless to say it's not correct.





































Clearly something is not right but I don't know what, maybe someone more familiar can tell me.


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## Harrers

You have put West instead of East in the co-ordinates box. Also your Copilot app should work for you without any wifi!


----------



## Pudsey_Bear

Harrers said:


> You have put West instead of East in the co-ordinates box. Also your Copilot app should work for you without any wifi!


I put the coordinates in the way I do it for the UK which works fine, I don't touch the east/west selection, so don't know what happened there.

My ref to wifi was in finding places, and not CoPilot which does of course work offline


----------



## Sprinta

Should it be 'minus 2' in order to get an East in the longitude?

And on looking at your picture it is showing ticked for West as harriers already said


----------



## Pudsey_Bear

Thanks go to Harrers for pointing out the error of my ways gerrit, error of my ways, oh never mind.

All sorted now I think.



















But how do you know which one to select, sorry if that is a daft question, but I have a raging toothache and it's shooting a right old pain through my left eye into my head, so consecration is worse than usual, got meds but they're not helping yet.


----------



## campsitewriter

Kev_n_Liz said:


> Thanks go to Harrers for pointing out the error of my ways gerrit, error of my ways, oh never mind.
> 
> All sorted now I think.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> But how do you know which one to select, sorry if that is a daft question, but I have a raging toothache and it's shooting a right old pain through my left eye into my head, so consecration is worse than usual, got meds but they're not helping yet.


Perhaps it is time to go back to the good old road maps.

The first time Lorraine and I visited Champ de la Chapelle, we drove from our house at Chateauponsac (north of Limoges) and I just entered Champ de la Chapelle into a Garmin sat nav which took us straight there.

The second visit involved us driving straight to the camp site from Dover and this time using a Medion sat nav. Once again I entered Champ de la Chapelle and the nice sat nav lady took us straight there'

I have never used co-ordinates with any great degree of success (probably because I am thick) but as my previous life revolved around visiting farms in the UK, I have always just entered the address and rarely encountered problems.


----------



## campsitewriter

Kev_n_Liz said:


> As this sound like such a really nice place, I thought I would see if I could put it in my sat nav as we probably will not have wifi most of the time when away.
> 
> So I put Champ de la chapelle into Google, and true enough there is a camp site, moved to Google maps, to get my own coordinates and that's where it all goes wrong, see screen shots including where Copilot think it is according to Googles reference, and I used both sets of the show coordinates on Google, needless to say it's not correct.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Clearly something is not right but I don't know what, maybe someone more familiar can tell me.


Just in case you keep getting east and west confused, there is a municipal camp site at 
Camping Municipal 
60, rue St-Etienne 
85350 Ile d'Yeu but you don't qualify for the free drink that you would 
receive at the far superior Champ de la Chapelle!


----------



## Pudsey_Bear

It's highly unlikely that we would use your site to stay at as we have yet to stay on any so far in 9 years yet, (with one exception) my aim was to make sure the info on your website was as accurate as possible, so those that do wish to come can do so easily, it does look like a good site, and hope you do really well, as I'm sure you will  

Keep the stories coming, it's as near to reading as I get these days.


----------



## campsitewriter

Kev_n_Liz said:


> It's highly unlikely that we would use your site to stay at as we have yet to stay on any so far in 9 years yet, (with one exception) my aim was to make sure the info on your website was as accurate as possible, so those that do wish to come can do so easily, it does look like a good site, and hope you do really well, as I'm sure you will
> 
> Keep the stories coming, it's as near to reading as I get these days.


Thanks for the effort in checking the website, it's very easy to overlook the obvious.

Perhaps one day you will wake up feeling adventurous and decide to give France a try.

It is a fairly safe place nowadays as cannibalism has largely died out although pockets remain where an Anglais is still considered a delicacy. The natives reckon that years of being soaked in gin and tonic give the flesh a unique flavour and the quinine helps prevent malaria. So a pleasant meal and a saving on paying for quinine tablets at the local pharmacy.


----------



## Pudsey_Bear

campsitewriter said:


> Thanks for the effort in checking the website, it's very easy to overlook the obvious.
> 
> Perhaps one day you will wake up feeling adventurous and decide to give France a try.
> 
> It is a fairly safe place nowadays as cannibalism has largely died out although pockets remain where an Anglais is still considered a delicacy. The natives reckon that years of being soaked in gin and tonic give the flesh a unique flavour and the quinine helps prevent malaria. So a pleasant meal and a saving on paying for quinine tablets at the local pharmacy.


It was no effort, I wanted to get used to CoPilots methods of entry for coordinates, this helped and pointed out it needs attention paid.

As for France it's on the cards for trip soon, I just need to avoid the smart arses rather than the cannibals.


----------



## pippin

"an Anglais :male: is still considered a delicacy"

Surely "une Anglaise" :female:is the height of gourmet-ism?!>

PS

The tee is silent in gourmet-ism - Funny language French :laughing5:


----------



## aldra

Well they may eat us

I wouldn't eat them

And I love garlic

Aldrra


----------



## campsitewriter

pippin said:


> "an Anglais :male: is still considered a delicacy"
> 
> Surely "une Anglaise" :female:is the height of gourmet-ism?!>
> 
> PS
> 
> The tee is silent in gourmet-ism - Funny language French :laughing5:


that man wins the bouquet


----------



## campsitewriter

aldra said:


> Well they may eat us
> 
> I wouldn't eat them
> 
> And I love garlic
> 
> Aldrra


That is because you are a sensible person from Bury ( do you pronounce Bury to rhyme with hurry or are you posh and say Berry?)

I used to sell feed to some farmers in Bury around the Walmersley area and they all said Bury as rhymes with slurry


----------



## campsitewriter

Kev_n_Liz said:


> It was no effort, I wanted to get used to CoPilots methods of entry for coordinates, this helped and pointed out it needs attention paid.
> 
> As for France it's on the cards for trip soon, I just need to avoid the smart arses rather than the cannibals.


I am the only smart arse allowed on Champ de la Chapelle so if I have a few days off you should be safe


----------



## campsitewriter

campsitewriter said:


> I am the only smart arse allowed on Champ de la Chapelle so if I have a few days off you should be safe


Well you lot are not very chatty, is it because you are all en route to Champ de la Chapelle or is it because you are stranded on a French aire unable to fill up with diesel because the arsy French are on strike.

It is a funny thing that while tourism is a huge source of income (after of course arms and nuclear power) the majority of French workers do their very best to prevent people visiting the place.

Of course the French shambles government don't give a toss as they tax you if you make money and (if you are self-employed) they effectively fine you if you make a loss.

Anyway strikes and crap government aside, today was an exciting one here in the sticks. First off I went to top the Peugeots tank up as my lovely wife Lorraine is flying over on Sunday. Only 30 litres per fill up at the local supermarche but if you go at lunchtime no problem. Simply put your card in and when the pump stops at 30L drive around the block and then put another 30 in.

The second exciting thing to happen was the arrival of the wireless card machine to take campers payments. This was truly speedy service as I only ordered this handy little gizmo on the 12th December 2014. So well done Credit Agricole only 17 months delivery time, France has moved into the 18th century almost seamlessly.

The third exciting thing (I was almost swooning at this point) was the arrival of a neighbour from the UK. This splendid chap has come to stay, in his shiny motorhome, for 8 weeks and wants to do lots of hard labour on the camp site. My theory is; don't look for the work it will soon find you. Seriously though it will be nice to have another native English speaker around the place.

The forth exciting thing (almost unbearable all this excitement) was the unexpected arrival of another couple of friends from England, my cup overfloweth with excitement, at this rate I shall have to go and lie down.

So if I can find out if Bury rhymes with 'very' or 'slurry' (see a previous post) my life will be complete.


----------



## gaspode

campsitewriter said:


> So if I can find out if Bury rhymes with 'very' or 'slurry' (see a previous post) my life will be complete.


To put you out of your misery I can tell you that "Bury" rhymes with "slurry" if you're a Bury resident - but it can also rhyme with "very" if you're a posh (and badly informed) southerner. :wink2:

Take your pick.:grin2:


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## pippin

If I arrive at your site can I stay and do some light labour?

I don't do heavy - not at my age and with a hernia, but mainly due to outright laziness!

I'm pretty handy at electronics/electrics though.

It's going to be pretty hard pushing the MH all the way down from Calais - especially if I have had to row across _La Manche_!


----------



## campsitewriter

gaspode said:


> To put you out of your misery I can tell you that "Bury" rhymes with "slurry" if you're a Bury resident - but it can also rhyme with "very" if you're a posh (and badly informed) southerner. :wink2:
> 
> Take your pick.:grin2:


That's good I've always rhymed it with slurry even though I am posh as I come from Blackburn


----------



## campsitewriter

pippin said:


> If I arrive at your site can I stay and do some light labour?
> 
> I don't do heavy - not at my age and with a hernia, but mainly due to outright laziness!
> 
> I'm pretty handy at electronics/electrics though.
> 
> It's going to be pretty hard pushing the MH all the way down from Calais - especially if I have had to row across _La Manche_!


I would be delighted to welcome you and swop a stay for some (genuinely) light labour.

I had a real compliment today when a visitor from previous years arrived and told me that he could see a big improvement in the site, it made all the previous months painting and tidying up worthwhile. A handy chappie or chapess with knowledge of electrics or even general DIY is always welcome especially as I am useless with electrics.


----------



## campsitewriter

campsitewriter said:


> I would be delighted to welcome you and swop a stay for some (genuinely) light labour.
> 
> I had a real compliment today when a visitor from previous years arrived and told me that he could see a big improvement in the site, it made all the previous months painting and tidying up worthwhile. A handy chappie or chapess with knowledge of electrics or even general DIY is always welcome especially as I am useless with electrics.


*ps forgot to say, I have a tractor and will gladly tow you the last mile*


----------



## gaspode

campsitewriter said:


> I come from Blackburn


Well, I suppose someone has to. :frown2:


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## GMJ

campsitewriter said:


> That's good I've always rhymed it with slurry even though I am posh as I come from Blackburn


You might be posh but you cant spell fourth (Post #351 ) :wink2:

I assume you used a copy editor for your books then? >

Graham :grin2:


----------



## pippin

Graham - I spotted that one too, but I decided not to embarrass him by pointing it out.

Even though I am the Archpedant.

Actually it was because I thought "Forth of Fifth" was too corny.


----------



## GMJ

pippin said:


> Graham - I spotted that one too, but I decided not to embarrass him by pointing it out.


I did >

Only 'coz ee's a writer innit and rites posh books like:wink2:

Graham :smile2:


----------



## Pudsey_Bear

GMJ said:


> You might be posh but you cant spell fourth (Post #351 ) :wink2:
> 
> I assume you used a copy editor for your books then? >
> 
> Graham :grin2:


If I were he, I'd tell you to go forth for that :grin2::grin2::grin2:


----------



## campsitewriter

GMJ said:


> You might be posh but you cant spell fourth (Post #351 ) :wink2:
> 
> I assume you used a copy editor for your books then? >
> 
> Graham :grin2:


Yer honner, in my defense I will admit to being fairly pi**ed when that item was submitted and would like this to be taken into account when sentence is being passed.


----------



## campsitewriter

Kev_n_Liz said:


> If I were he, I'd tell you to go forth for that :grin2::grin2::grin2:


If Graham had read my books he would definitely know that a copy editor had never even had a glimpse of them


----------



## campsitewriter

pippin said:


> Graham - I spotted that one too, but I decided not to embarrass him by pointing it out.
> 
> Even though I am the Archpedant.
> 
> Actually it was because I thought "Forth of Fifth" was too corny.


Do you remember the footie report 'so far East Fife four, Forfar five' but I prefer the Welsh result 'Rhyl nil, Ruthin nothin'

Which has sod all to do with anything here but I thought it may raise a smile

ps for serious pedants this with not work as they know that Ruthin should be pronounced 'Rythan'


----------



## pippin

Almost right regarding the Welsh pronunciation.

"Rh" is a single consonant in Welsh. Very difficult to describe the pronunciation, but here goes!

If you say "HuRuh" very quickly then you get close.

A "u" (known as "ee beddol" - "horseshoe") is a sort of "ie" sound with a strangled sound in the middle!

A "u" is never pronounced as "you"!

The rest of the name is pronounced as the English "thin".

Putting it all together is sounds like "hrhithin"!

It's the same with Rhyl which is not spoken as "Rill" but as "hrhill".

A "y" always causes confusion! It is never said as "why".

It is a vowel and the only one which has two totally different sounds.

On its own between words it is spoken as "uh".

Usually, but confusingly not always, if there is another vowel later in the word it is pronounced as "uh".

If it is the last or only vowel in the word, again usually but not always, it is pronounced as a long "ee".

An "i" is called an "ih dot", spoken is a short "ih"

If you haven't fallen asleep yet - I could go into the differences between one el and two els, not to mention the effs and the dees.

I just wish the lady on my Garmin SatNav could get her Welsh pronunciation correct - it's hard to figure out where she is sending us!


----------



## GMJ

Go on Pippin..tell 'em what the Welsh is for microwave...

...and hotel :grin2:

Graham


----------



## nicholsong

I know the Welsh for Ambulance

I know the Polish for Ambulance

Ambulans


----------



## Sprinta

When I went to grammar school in Swansea they forced me to learn to speak Welsh. Yuk! Why when most of Wales doesn't want to ?

Then we relocated to Solihull and the bastids there forced me to learn frickin Latin! Why when even the eyeties don't speak it any more?

Nigh on 50 years later the Latin has had its uses, but to be honest the best thing coming out of Wales has to be the M4


----------



## campsitewriter

pippin said:


> Almost right regarding the Welsh pronunciation.
> 
> "Rh" is a single consonant in Welsh. Very difficult to describe the pronunciation, but here goes!
> 
> If you say "HuRuh" very quickly then you get close.
> 
> A "u" (known as "ee beddol" - "horseshoe") is a sort of "ie" sound with a strangled sound in the middle!
> 
> A "u" is never pronounced as "you"!
> 
> The rest of the name is pronounced as the English "thin".
> 
> Putting it all together is sounds like "hrhithin"!
> 
> It's the same with Rhyl which is not spoken as "Rill" but as "hrhill".
> 
> A "y" always causes confusion! It is never said as "why".
> 
> It is a vowel and the only one which has two totally different sounds.
> 
> On its own between words it is spoken as "uh".
> 
> Usually, but confusingly not always, if there is another vowel later in the word it is pronounced as "uh".
> 
> If it is the last or only vowel in the word, again usually but not always, it is pronounced as a long "ee".
> 
> An "i" is called an "ih dot", spoken is a short "ih"
> 
> If you haven't fallen asleep yet - I could go into the differences between one el and two els, not to mention the effs and the dees.
> 
> I just wish the lady on my Garmin SatNav could get her Welsh pronunciation correct - it's hard to figure out where she is sending us!


Sorry I didn't quite catch that, how do you pronounce Ruthin?


----------



## campsitewriter

Sprinta said:


> When I went to grammar school in Swansea they forced me to learn to speak Welsh. Yuk! Why when most of Wales doesn't want to ?
> 
> Then we relocated to Solihull and the bastids there forced me to learn frickin Latin! Why when even the eyeties don't speak it any more?
> 
> Nigh on 50 years later the Latin has had its uses, but to be honest the best thing coming out of Wales has to be the M4


Is Solihull where the yar yars live

Another exciting day at camping Champ de la Chapelle, I don't know if I can take much more.

At about 11.00am today, two very large all terrain vehicles came charging through the forest and along the quiet road in front of the camp site. Yes it was two truck loads of sapeurs-pompiers (french firemen). This was just a fair sight until they hung a hard left and belted up the camp site.

Now normally I have the highest regard for these brave men, many part time volunteers but watching them rip my gravel roads up with the over sized tractor like tyres at 50 kph changed my opinion rapidly.

Instantly forgetting the small amount of French at my command, I could only try and flag them down whilst screaming 'what the hell do you f**k wits think you are doing.

To which a younger version of Captain Mainwaring screamed back ' nous sommes sur un exercice' as the two vehicles disappeared up the camp site.

Now the road they were taking comes to a dead end, there is nothing in the way, the track just peters out onto an expanse of (on this day) lovely newly mown grass.

The driver of the lead vehicle had the decency to stop and by this time I had taken a short cut, still holding the brush that I had been using to sweep the workshop, and caught up with them. Captain Mainwaring was berating the driver who appearing to be suggesting that to tear up this turf would be sacrilege.

'Oi merde pour cerveaux, toucher que l'herbe et vous obtiendrez d'un brosse dans votre cul', I really hope that made sense to him but he obviously got the gist (oi **** for brains, touch that grass and you will get a brush up your arse).

A short but terse standoff ensured with the noble leader whilst his loyal crew wet themselves laughing. This ended with me making them follow me as I slowly walked across the sacred turf, rather like the chap who in times past had to walk in front of motor vehicles waving a red flag.

After the sapeurs-pompiers had left, with the fire crews giving me the thumbs up behind their bold leaders back, a Dutch camper wandered up and said 'ya definitely a f**k wit, I will remember that expression'.

And so another action packed day in rural France!


----------



## cabby

Now I always had it drummed into me when younger that should I wish to have a business abroad then I must have a very good command of that counties language, as it will surely be tested to it's limit. You have just proved that point. I do wish you had not.:frown2::frown2:

cabby


----------



## campsitewriter

cabby said:


> Now I always had it drummed into me when younger that should I wish to have a business abroad then I must have a very good command of that counties language, as it will surely be tested to it's limit. You have just proved that point. I do wish you had not.:frown2::frown2:
> 
> cabby


One has to rise to the occasion and if your grammar is not perfect just listen to how most of the French abuse their own language!


----------



## Pudsey_Bear

popty ping for microwave, gorra love foreigners trying to make new words for modern inventions.

Some straight ones below from the BBC no less, no wonder I can't read the bloody signs, and speaking of signs why put the English on the bottom, surely we need to be able to understand it and the sooner we see it the better.

Rhoi trefn ar y tŷ.	=Putting the house in order.
Tynnu llwch	=Dusting
Glanhau'r ffenestri	=Cleaning the windows
Golchi'r car	=Washing the car
Smwddio	=Ironing
Sgubo'r llawr	=Sweep the floor
Hŵfro	=To vacuum
Dadmer y rhewgell	=To defrost the freezer
Newid y cynfasau	=Change the sheets
Coginio	=To cook
Rhoi trefn	=To put in order
Gloywi	=To polish
Offer glanhau	=Cleaning equipment
Mop	=Mop
Brws llawr =Floor brush
Padell lwch =Dust pan
Bord smwddio	=Ironing board
Haearn smwddio =Iron
Sugnydd llwch	=Vacuum cleaner
Cŵyr lloriau	=Floor wax
Dwster	=Duster
Clwt	=Rag
Coginio	=To cook
sbwriel	=Rubbish


----------



## Sprinta

Sprinta said:


> When I went to grammar school in Swansea they forced me to learn to speak Welsh. Yuk! Why when most of Wales doesn't want to ?
> 
> Then we relocated to Solihull and the bastids there forced me to learn frickin Latin! Why when even the eyeties don't speak it any more?
> 
> Nigh on 50 years later the Latin has had its uses, but to be honest the best thing coming out of Wales has to be the M4


and that reminds me, my Latin master explained that the Solihull motto of "Urbs in Rures" was technically incorrect and should have been "Urbis in Rus" or "city in the country"

bit posh it was, Tudor Grange Grammar School, oooh la di da - I fitted in like a pork chop in a mosque :grin2:


----------



## Pudsey_Bear

Yoda latin too spoke I think


----------



## pippin

To quote Cabby:

"Now I always had it drummed into me when younger that should I wish to have a business abroad then I must have a very good command of that *counties* (sic) language"

As in Yorkshire, Lancashire, Geordie, Glasgie & etc?

And less of the denigration of the Welsh language, if you please.

*It is older than English!*

As for road signs - no problem for me and for many residents who,
although not bilingual, recognise and understand the Welsh terms.

Official languages: (note the order) Welsh & English.

In fact the decision which comes first on road signs is made by local councils.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wales#Languages

Of particular interest to me is the term "code-switching" which happens here a lot.

There was uproar when Russia recently muscled-in on Ukraine and took over Crimea.

The whole of Wales was *annexed by England* and incorporated within the English legal system 
under the Laws in Wales Acts 1535-1542.


----------



## eurajohn

pippin said:


> The whole of Wales was *annexed by England* and incorporated within the English legal system
> under the Laws in Wales Acts 1535-1542.


You'd have thought they would have got over it by now :wink2:


----------



## cabby

Well done pippin, you did notice the error, it was supposed to be countries, but this dam keyboard plays up and misses keys.However even then it remained in topic, am I a genius,that was a rhetorical question.

cabby

It was a shame really that I missed out on two good talents when I was young, Piano, as we had one and Welsh as my mother came from Wales.I just do not have the time to list all the others I missed.


----------



## pippin

Research years ago in Switzerland showed that bilingualism is educationally beneficial.

Perhaps that is why I am so clever!

Apparently doesn't work for the Dutchies, to come back on topic - ish!


----------



## campsitewriter

pippin said:


> Research years ago in Switzerland showed that bilingualism is educationally beneficial.
> 
> Perhaps that is why I am so clever!
> 
> Apparently doesn't work for the Dutchies, to come back on topic - ish!


apparently a lot of folk are bi but as you say 'back to topic'.

Just to prove that I don't make up all the drivel that i post, here is some proof


----------



## pippin

Amazing what you can achieve with Photoshop!


----------



## cabby

I see no flashing lights, are you sure it was not a clever self build conversion in disguise.:grin2::grin2:

cabby


----------



## campsitewriter

pippin said:


> Amazing what you can achieve with Photoshop!


Damn, I spent a fortune buying photoshop and hours faking a completely unnecessary picture and you caught me out


----------



## campsitewriter

cabby said:


> I see no flashing lights, are you sure it was not a clever self build conversion in disguise.:grin2::grin2:
> 
> cabby


You noticed the quick rebuild of the old Peugeot 404 camper van. It only took a couple of hours using some Fairy liquid bottles, sticky backed tape and a pair of Vals' old knickers.

I will be off line for a couple of days as I have a few jobs to do elsewhere and will have no wifi.

Actually I am really going to build a film set and pretend it is the camp site so that I can mock up a UFO landing that I will write about (complete with verifying pictures) next week.

Fortunately running a camp site gives me about 23 hours per day of free time as there is nothing to do except drink wine and relieve campers of their hard earned cash. Photo-shopping and building full size replica vehicles helps pass the time of day.


----------



## cabby

Yeah a piece of cake. You are obviously wasting your talents in deepest France.:grin2::grin2:

cabby


----------



## campsitewriter

cabby said:


> Yeah a piece of cake. You are obviously wasting your talents in deepest France.:grin2::grin2:
> 
> cabby


Well we were all very excited the other day when a UFO appeared in the sky over the camp site. Everything went very quiet, even Liesbeth, as a glowing golden orb was sighted.

Should we run and hide or quickly open the bar to welcome our celestial visitors with a beer?

The object shone with such brilliance one could hardly even look at it and then just as suddenly as it had appeared it then disappeared in the blink of an eye. Unfortunately I did not have a camera to hand so was unable to record this phenomenon but we all reckoned reports would be in the local paper.

This indeed proved to be the case. The very next day banner headlines proclaimed *'the sun was glimpsed in central France for a period of 3 minutes'*.


----------



## aldra

And here we are with sunshine in the north 

We've had really good weather, good for me, not hot but the sun is shining, the garden is growing

If the scan is good and I get to France 

I'll bring the sun with me

Just as a goodwill guesture you understand 
Aldra


----------



## campsitewriter

aldra said:


> And here we are with sunshine in the north
> 
> We've had really good weather, good for me, not hot but the sun is shining, the garden is growing
> 
> If the scan is good and I get to France
> 
> I'll bring the sun with me
> 
> Just as a goodwill guesture you understand
> Aldra


People always tell me that they move to the North of England/ Scotland for the good weather but worry about not being able to understand the inhabitants. I always reply that it is vital to be able to speak Northern even if only to order the basics, black pudding, real ale etc.

The natives with be OK if you make an effort with their language and will help you flatten your vowels to the point of total incomprehension.

Personally I am sticking with France as I love the sodden spring months and the pi**ing rain in the early summer, none of those northern heatwaves for me!


----------



## aldra

Hey love you'll be just fine here !!

Sandra


----------



## cabby

Being a southern softie has it's benefits,we are able to talk correctly. enjoy better weather, nor do we have such bleak outlooks that seem to make everyone up north such dour folk.As to Scotland, they just do not like the southern bast*rds.The must be related to the French.

cabby


----------



## Pudsey_Bear

cabby said:


> Being a southern softie has it's benefits,we are able to talk correctly.
> cabby


Yeah right,

Grass = Grarse

Glass = Glarse

Glasgow = Glarsegow

Plaster = Plarseter

I could go on but you get my drift, southerners have an arse complex, cept most seem to say ass these days :roll:


----------



## cabby

Maybe that is when they talk to you.:grin2::grin2nly saying.:kiss::kiss:

cabby


----------



## campsitewriter

cabby said:


> Being a southern softie has it's benefits,we are able to talk correctly. enjoy better weather, nor do we have such bleak outlooks that seem to make everyone up north such dour folk.As to Scotland, they just do not like the southern bast*rds.The must be related to the French.
> 
> I'm from the North and am certainly not dour, although life can be difficult up here, it's a hard knock life and death will be a welcome release from the unending pain of scraping a living.
> 
> The Scots don't just dislike what you and I would call Southerners, if you live up beyond the wall everyone is a Southerner. The Scots actually don't like anyone, this includes other Scottish people hence the punch ups at weddings, christenings, childrens birthday parties etc.


----------



## aldra

Ignore cabby

He just can't understand the friendliness of us northern folk

Aldra


----------



## campsitewriter

aldra said:


> Hey love you'll be just fine here !!
> 
> Sandra


I love Bury, I like the East Lancs Railway and Bury market where I buy those supersized Manchester tarts (for dirty minded Southerners with an arse complex, a Manchester tart is a delicious custard and pastry based dessert not a mucky lass from Ancoats, well actually it could be a mucky lass but that is not what I go to Bury market for, shall I stop digging now?)


----------



## aldra

Prob a good idea to stop digging 

The market is second to none, although it's become a bit too famous, coaches draw up and the market is full of day trippers 

Still it's supporting the economy 

Northern folk, salt of the earth

Sandra


----------



## nicholsong

aldra said:


> Prob a good idea to stop digging
> 
> The market is second to none, although it's become a bit too famous, coaches draw up and the market is full of day trippers
> 
> Still it's supporting the economy
> 
> *Northern folk, salt of the earth*
> 
> Sandra


Some, till you meet t'others - from wrong places:wink2::laugh:


----------



## campsitewriter

nicholsong said:


> Some, till you meet t'others - from wrong places:wink2::laugh:


enough of this north south divide, we are an equal opportunities camp site and all are welcome, obviously Northerners get the best pitches but as I always say to Southerners 'you see such interesting wildlife around the septic tank overflow areas'.

So don't be shy and come and visit Champ de la Chapelle

Seriously if you could make us a stopping off place on your travels around France it would be greatly appreciated and I promise a warm welcome to all PLUS you get to meet the Dutchies! Autographed pictures available at bargain prices.


----------



## cabby

And to think I was starting to warm towards you.>>:grin2::grin2:

cabby


----------



## chilly

campsitewriter said:


> I promise a warm welcome to all PLUS you get to meet the Dutchies! Autographed pictures available at bargain prices.


Do you think you could get Liesbeth to sign my clogs?


----------



## pippin

Luckily, the only expression I know in Dutch is *Tot Siens*!

(roughly translates as *Goodbye*!)


----------



## nicholsong

campsitewriter said:


> *enough of this north south divide*, we are an equal opportunities camp site and all are welcome, obviously Northerners get the best pitches but as I always say to Southerners 'you see such interesting wildlife around the septic tank overflow areas'.
> .


In my post you quoted I was referring to the 'divides' within the North, i.e. Trans-Pennine, Geordies v. Makems etc.


----------



## gaspode

campsitewriter said:


> enough of this north south divide, we are an equal opportunities camp site and all are welcome, obviously Northerners get the best pitches but as I always say to Southerners 'you see such interesting wildlife around the septic tank overflow areas'.
> 
> So don't be shy and come and visit Champ de la Chapelle
> 
> Seriously if you could make us a stopping off place on your travels around France it would be greatly appreciated and I promise a warm welcome to all PLUS you get to meet the Dutchies! Autographed pictures available at bargain prices.


We're out on the West coast ATM Simon but if we end up over in your neck of the woods on our way home I'll pop in and sample one of your best pitches, free beer and to meet the Dutchies - are they caged or otherwise restrained when visitors are expected?:wink2:
Weather has been excellent here on the coast for the last few days but the current forecast suggests that a visit to the south east might be imminent so we might be returning via the A75.


----------



## Pudsey_Bear

campsitewriter said:


> enough of this north south divide, we are an equal opportunities camp site and all are welcome, obviously Northerners get the best pitches but as I always say to Southerners 'you see such interesting wildlife around the septic tank overflow areas'.
> 
> So don't be shy and come and visit Champ de la Chapelle
> 
> Seriously if you could make us a stopping off place on your travels around France it would be greatly appreciated and I promise a warm welcome to all PLUS you get to meet the Dutchies! Autographed pictures available at bargain prices.


It already is equal opportunities on here, we slag you off regardless of where you come from, they're a bit stuffed with me though as I have never revealed my origins on here.

I did used to fly the Scottish flag, but that was a red herring really.


----------



## nicholsong

Kev_n_Liz said:


> I did used to fly the Scottish flag, but that was a red herring really.


The Scottsh Flag - a 'Red Herring'.

What a brilliant idea!:laugh:


----------



## Pudsey_Bear

I knew someone would pick up on it, but thought, hey every one needs a hobby > > > 0


----------



## cabby

This all sounds a bit fishy to me. Have you got an alibi to correspond with this comment.>>

cabby


----------



## Pudsey_Bear

cabby said:


> This all sounds a bit fishy to me. Have you got an alibi to correspond with this comment.>>
> 
> cabby


That's rubbish even for you :grin2::grin2:


----------



## campsitewriter

chilly said:


> Do you think you could get Liesbeth to sign my clogs?


Please read this out loud with a Dutch accent
*'No they are not proper clogs, only Dutch people have proper clogs, in fact only people from the very north of Holland have proper clogs. Yours are just leather shoes with wooden soles with horse shoes nailed on. Friesian people have wooden clogs made from wooden Dutch oak trees but I will sign your silly shoes for you as I am a nice Dutch Friesian person'.
*


----------



## campsitewriter

nicholsong said:


> In my post you quoted I was referring to the 'divides' within the North, i.e. Trans-Pennine, Geordies v. Makems etc.


I always thought the Geordies were the Scots that were evicted for being too rough


----------



## campsitewriter

gaspode said:


> We're out on the West coast ATM Simon but if we end up over in your neck of the woods on our way home I'll pop in and sample one of your best pitches, free beer and to meet the Dutchies - are they caged or otherwise restrained when visitors are expected?:wink2:
> Weather has been excellent here on the coast for the last few days but the current forecast suggests that a visit to the south east might be imminent so we might be returning via the A75.


If you can get here try and arrive before 4.00pm when the Dutchies are fed. We throw sugar sprinkles (100s and 1000s as we call them up North) on the long grass and visitors can enjoy watching the Dutchies forage.

Normally they are caged, a condition imposed by my insurers, but obviously we let them run free during the mating season (Red Hot Dutch 10.00pm -2.00am) and once they have slaked their lusts they are happy to return to the enclosure.

We have had pleasant weather the last few days but forecasts suggest a return to cooler conditions, 18-20 degrees and some rain.

I always find that if you look at a lot of different forecast publishers you will eventually find a good forecast and that's the one I go with, so I am hoping that Comedy Forecasts are accurate with their forecast of 35 degrees and no rain.


----------



## campsitewriter

Kev_n_Liz said:


> It already is equal opportunities on here, we slag you off regardless of where you come from, they're a bit stuffed with me though as I have never revealed my origins on here.
> 
> I did used to fly the Scottish flag, but that was a red herring really.


I think you have inadvertently revealed you origins with the mention of 'Gods own country' you quite obviously hail from Lancashire


----------



## pippin

"I am a nice Dutch Friesian person"

I thought Friesians were cows. 

As you were then - stand at ease!

As for the Scottish Saltire being a Red Herring - well I thought herrings were saltired.

OK - dismiss!


----------



## campsitewriter

pippin said:


> "I am a nice Dutch Friesian person"
> 
> I thought Friesians were cows.
> 
> As you were then - stand at ease!
> 
> As for the Scottish Saltire being a Red Herring - well I thought herrings were saltired.
> 
> OK - dismiss!


Friesland is an area of Holland with its own impenetrable language but is more commonly known for Friesian cows and more famously as Liesbets and Ibeles place of birth


----------



## campsitewriter

campsitewriter said:


> Friesland is an area of Holland with its own impenetrable language but is more commonly known for Friesian cows and more famously as Liesbets and Ibeles place of birth


Well life goes on as usual in rainy, cold France. The only bright spot recently has been that the male Dutchie has had his cousin staying, so every day I can look forward to shouting 'hi Fokker' (I am not being rude, that is his first name). Oh for the simple pleasures in life.

T'other highlight was when Ibele, the male Dutchie employee, very cleverly caught 3 moles in two days.

In some ways I was sorry because the crafty little moles had been driving him up the wall, I could see his blood pressure rising daily, but even though moles may have their supporters I am not one of them.

Ibeles battle with the moles peaked when he saw a circle of molehills surrounding one of his traps but no mole corpse in said trap but over the last couple of days he has fought back valiently and now there are 3 less of the little blighters.

His rejoicing soon turned to anguish as the very next day a line of molehills stretched from the bar area into his own garden, the moles were advancing.

Each new mole mound appeared larger than the previous one and it seems that the pesky little varmits (the moles not the Dutchies) are heading straight for his front door.

In idle, drunken moments I like to imagine a super sized mole, high on a steroid overdose, muttering 'trust me, I'll be back' in the sort of voice Arnold Schwarzenegger would use if he were a mole (or conversely the sort of voice a mole would use if he was Arnold Schwarzenegger).

Perhaps his bedroom floor will erupt upwards as Liesbet murmurs 'did you feel the earth move also Ibele'.

I think I need to get out more often.

This is the BBC mole correspondent signing off in Braize, France.


----------



## aldra

Well I like moles

Sandra


----------



## campsitewriter

aldra said:


> Well I like moles
> 
> Sandra


I personally find them a bit chewy unless casseroled

I love other peoples moles but rather dislike mine when a line of molehills erupt across a beautifully mown area of the camp site

But lets not fall out, we leave moles alone unless they attack the pitches and if uncontrolled they can make a serious mess. Campers are not keen to pitch up amidst an area of loose soil, especially in wet times. In the wild areas, of which I have acres, we tend to live and let live and moles, rabbits and assorted other wildlife are left in peace.


----------



## aldra

Yes, I imagine that would be a problem

Still I wonder if catching moles does any good,there's prob a lot more to take their place

A never ending saga

Sandra


----------



## cabby

Perhaps you could take a few tips from Jasper Carrot.:grin2::grin2:He just loves Moles.>>

cabby
https://search.yahoo.com/search?ei=utf-8&fr=aaplw&p=jasper+carrot+moles


----------



## Pudsey_Bear

Save the buggers up and make a pair of trousers


----------



## campsitewriter

Kev_n_Liz said:


> Save the buggers up and make a pair of trousers


Working on it, so far got enough for a G-string


----------



## campsitewriter

aldra said:


> Yes, I imagine that would be a problem
> 
> Still I wonder if catching moles does any good,there's prob a lot more to take their place
> 
> A never ending saga
> 
> Sandra


But quite challenging


----------



## campsitewriter

cabby said:


> Perhaps you could take a few tips from Jasper Carrot.:grin2::grin2:He just loves Moles.>>
> 
> cabby
> https://search.yahoo.com/search?ei=utf-8&fr=aaplw&p=jasper+carrot+moles


Funny you should mention old Jasper. I was just having a chat about his mole sketch the other day.

I have tentative plans to purchase a rotating bar stool and a 12 bore shotgun complete with torch taped to the barrels for Ibele and then try and talk Liesbet into creeping up behind him as she makes mole-like squeaks.

However the big problem I have is that I am not sure if moles do in fact squeak. Could readers offer any advice on this knotty problem.


----------



## aldra

We have a 15 year old grandson

So what goes on at your campsite to grab him

Bearing in mind he's travelling with a couple of 72 year olds with dodgy knees

And prob dodgy minds

Although at the moment working on Pythagoras and poetry , the Last Duchess etc

A blast from the past for me

Sandra


----------



## campsitewriter

aldra said:


> We have a 15 year old grandson
> 
> So what goes on at your campsite to grab him
> 
> Bearing in mind he's travelling with a couple of 72 year olds with dodgy knees
> 
> And prob dodgy minds
> 
> Although at the moment working on Pythagoras and poetry , the Last Duchess etc
> 
> A blast from the past for me
> 
> Sandra


So two dodgy 72 year olds with knees and a grandson

Well I have a pool, 9 hole foot golf course, volley ball pitch, Kubb pitch (look up kubb on t'internet, a great game for all ages) acres of camp site bursting with wild life and for the really difficult to please we have a Teen Club caravan with table football, play station and Wii but mainly somewhere that teens can gather to moan about their parents and generally wallow in angst. Nearby we have a swimming lake with sandy beach and there is also fishing locally, there are loads of interesting walks (the sculpture walk through the forest is great). The canal du Berry is nearish (15 minutes drive) there are various fetes of all sorts including medieval jousting as well as the world famous donkey fair in Braize. Have a look on the website for events during your time in France.

In the evenings we have various activities from forest walks and camp fires to cheese and wine nights (mainly for the parents but the youngsters have fun while the oldies get sozzled)

If all else fails I will teach him to drive the tractor!


----------



## cabby

Is it an old Fordson Major by any chance.:grin2::grin2: that was my first tractor. The second ran on tracks and two levers to steer.

cabby


----------



## dghr272

cabby said:


> Is it an old Fordson Major by any chance.:grin2::grin2: that was my first tractor. The second ran on tracks and two levers to steer.
> 
> cabby


David Brown 30C was mine cabby :grin2:

Terry


----------



## campsitewriter

dghr272 said:


> David Brown 30C was mine cabby :grin2:
> 
> Terry


Mine was a DB Crop Master


----------



## campsitewriter

cabby said:


> Is it an old Fordson Major by any chance.:grin2::grin2: that was my first tractor. The second ran on tracks and two levers to steer.
> 
> cabby


It is but unfortunately looks more like an Iseki, I think the two are often confused, I know I am


----------



## campsitewriter

campsitewriter said:


> So two dodgy 72 year olds with knees and a grandson
> 
> Well I have a pool, 9 hole foot golf course, volley ball pitch, Kubb pitch (look up kubb on t'internet, a great game for all ages) acres of camp site bursting with wild life and for the really difficult to please we have a Teen Club caravan with table football, play station and Wii but mainly somewhere that teens can gather to moan about their parents and generally wallow in angst. Nearby we have a swimming lake with sandy beach and there is also fishing locally, there are loads of interesting walks (the sculpture walk through the forest is great). The canal du Berry is nearish (15 minutes drive) there are various fetes of all sorts including medieval jousting as well as the world famous donkey fair in Braize. Have a look on the website for events during your time in France.
> 
> In the evenings we have various activities from forest walks and camp fires to cheese and wine nights (mainly for the parents but the youngsters have fun while the oldies get sozzled)
> 
> If all else fails I will teach him to drive the tractor!


Sorry forgot to mention the topless babes sandpit


----------



## nicholsong

campsitewriter said:


> So two dodgy 72 year olds with knees and a grandson
> 
> If all else fails I will teach him to *drive the tractor!*


I hope you have good Public Liability Insurance for an underage uninsured grandson roaring around a campsite on a tractor:surprise::laugh::laugh:


----------



## cabby

With a bit of luck he might be able to taste dutch courage,see if it is any different in France.:grin2::grin2:

cabby


----------



## campsitewriter

cabby said:


> With a bit of luck he might be able to taste dutch courage,see if it is any different in France.:grin2::grin2:
> 
> cabby


I don't know about Dutch courage but I was rather taken aback when Liesbet came into the workshop where I was having a tidying up session.

'I have been in the trees with Ibele 'she announced in a giggly sort of way ' and I am now covered in semen'.

Did I run away with my hands over my ears screaming 'Idon't want to hear anymore'. No I just stood there with my mouth open before stuttering 'wwwhat?'

'My face, it is covered in semen, Ibele thought it was so funny'.

I have always known that the Dutch take a fairly liberal attitude to matters concerning bedroom antics but this seemed one giant step too far.

Gulp 'gosh Liesbet that must have been jolly good fun for both of you'.

'Yes it was, I was holding the branch while Ibele cut through it and all that semen from the pine tree fell on my face'.

'Ah yes, in English we would usually say the pollen fell on my face', I gently pointed out.

'Ach pollen, semen it is all the same thing, I am still covered in it'.

I am now receiving psychiatric counselling for my recurring nightmares.

Mind how you go now


----------



## cabby

Hello sailor, springs to mind.:grin2::grin2: have you girdled your loins and taken the plunge to inform her of the real difference, I can almost imagine the chagrin on her face, just for a change.>> for barking up the wrong tree.

cabby


----------



## campsitewriter

cabby said:


> Hello sailor, springs to mind.:grin2::grin2: have you girdled your loins and taken the plunge to inform her of the real difference, I can almost imagine the chagrin on her face, just for a change.>> for barking up the wrong tree.
> 
> cabby


Come, come young man why 'hello sailor' rather than just roger the cabin boy

regards

Seaman Stains


----------



## campsitewriter

cabby said:


> Hello sailor, springs to mind.:grin2::grin2: have you girdled your loins and taken the plunge to inform her of the real difference, I can almost imagine the chagrin on her face, just for a change.>> for barking up the wrong tree.
> 
> cabby


hello all you non Europeans, life still goes on as normal although we are expecting body cavity searches from the Gendarmes when venturing beyond the camp site perimeter.

Sorry for the gap in communications, it has been an exciting few weeks, my son-in-law signed with Blackpool FC, I visited the Brico at St Amand Montrond, the England squad decided they were missing the UK and there was something about a Brexit.

Camping Champ de la Chapelle was where the real action was happening. Last week we had a visit from a high ranking French Deputy and he even conducted a 2 hour broadcast from the camp bar.

More exciting still the sun came for a visit and we are all tanned and healthy looking. We gathered the tan whilst building a tree house, something I have always wanted to do.

Last night the excitement levels reached fever pitch with a visiting chef giving a cookery display in the bar. Even with my woefully inadequate kitchen facilities she managed to whip up some tasty treats.

Bet you don't get that sort of thrill on a carpark aire.


----------



## campsitewriter

campsitewriter said:


> hello all you non Europeans, life still goes on as normal although we are expecting body cavity searches from the Gendarmes when venturing beyond the camp site perimeter.
> 
> Sorry for the gap in communications, it has been an exciting few weeks, my son-in-law signed with Blackpool FC, I visited the Brico at St Amand Montrond, the England squad decided they were missing the UK and there was something about a Brexit.
> 
> Camping Champ de la Chapelle was where the real action was happening. Last week we had a visit from a high ranking French Deputy and he even conducted a 2 hour broadcast from the camp bar.
> 
> More exciting still the sun came for a visit and we are all tanned and healthy looking. We gathered the tan whilst building a tree house, something I have always wanted to do.
> 
> Last night the excitement levels reached fever pitch with a visiting chef giving a cookery display in the bar. Even with my woefully inadequate kitchen facilities she managed to whip up some tasty treats.
> 
> Bet you don't get that sort of thrill on a carpark aire.


By the way if you are thinking of changing to PlusNet as your broadband supplier I will just mention that my dear wife back in the UK is now in her 12th week of waiting for PlusNet to sort out our internet connection. I believe their new slogan is *'PlusNet, we'll do you'*. I now know why that person is whittling spoons, they are waiting for the engineer to arrive. The reason they have so many spoons is that the engineer will never show up but they keep on whittling. We have been told that we can have an engineer on the 14.07.16 (I think they said 2016).


----------



## MEES

Trying to find you on map.
Is it feasible to visit en route to Spain.
What route would you take from Dunkirk.
We live near Preston.
Margaret


----------



## campsitewriter

MEES said:


> Trying to find you on map.
> Is it feasible to visit en route to Spain.
> What route would you take from Dunkirk.
> We live near Preston.
> Margaret


Well you must be good people if you live near Preston

The camp site is bang in the centre of France, so most routes would take you fairly near us

Whereabouts in Spain are you heading for and then I can give you a more accurate answer

Just out of interest we have recently had two separate couples originally staying for a night on their way south and both ended up staying here for two weeks. In fact one of the couples are still here as I write (no I did not lock them in)

So give me a shout back and I will suggest a route


----------



## MEES

Ultimately near Malaga
We have done various routes previously ie towards Bordeaux via Carcasonne and along coast to South of Spain
North coast of Spain Picos then across mid Spain
St Jean de Luz along 121 Madrid , Granada.
We are open to a change taking up to two weeks to get there.
Not wanting to do much on autoroutes.
Thanks
Margaret


----------



## Pudsey_Bear

MEES said:


> Ultimately near Malaga
> We have done various routes previously ie towards Bordeaux via Carcasonne and along coast to South of Spain
> North coast of Spain Picos then across mid Spain
> St Jean de Luz along 121 Madrid , Granada.
> We are open to a change taking up to two weeks to get there.
> Not wanting to do much on autoroutes.
> Thanks
> Margaret


Reminds me of the TV prog, "Narrow dog to Carcasonne" better than the book though.


----------



## GMJ

campsitewriter said:


> hello all you non Europeans, life still goes on as normal although we are expecting body cavity searches from the Gendarmes when venturing beyond the camp site perimeter.
> 
> Sorry for the gap in communications, it has been an exciting few weeks, my son-in-law signed with Blackpool FC, I visited the Brico at St Amand Montrond, the England squad decided they were missing the UK and there was something about a Brexit.
> 
> Camping Champ de la Chapelle was where the real action was happening. Last week we had a visit from a high ranking French Deputy and he even conducted a 2 hour broadcast from the camp bar.
> 
> More exciting still the sun came for a visit and we are all tanned and healthy looking. We gathered the tan whilst building a tree house, something I have always wanted to do.
> 
> Last night the excitement levels reached fever pitch with a visiting chef giving a cookery display in the bar. Even with my woefully inadequate kitchen facilities she managed to whip up some tasty treats.
> 
> Bet you don't get that sort of thrill on a carpark aire.


Good to have you back writer bloke, with some much needed levity









Graham :smile2:


----------



## Pudsey_Bear

GMJ said:


> od to have you back writer bloke, with some much needed levity
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Graham :smile2:


Plus a few hundred on that sentiment I reckon, well at least two anyway G


----------



## H1-GBV

Kev_n_Liz said:


> Reminds me of the TV prog, "Narrow dog to Carcasonne" better than the book though.


When was that on? It took me a while to get into the book but good things are worth working at.

Gordon


----------



## Pudsey_Bear

Dated January 08, 2004, but I've seen it much later than that.

A DAREDEVIL couple are set to cruise to TV stardom after doing the "unthinkable" and taking their canal barge across the Channel.

Monica and Terry Darlington from Stone are believed to be the first to embark on such a treacherous journey across two of the world's busiest shipping lanes to the Mediterranean.
The intrepid duo and their whippet dog Jim set sail in their narrowboat Phyllis May in April last year and 1,000 miles and 300 locks later they arrived in France. Their epic journey has been recorded for a TV series which starts tonight.
The couple will return to their boat, which is in Paris, in April, when the waterways re-open. They will then continue their journey down the Rhone to the Mediterranean and their target destination Carcassonne, in France.
Terry, 68, of Oulton Road, said: "To the best of our knowledge this has never been done before. In particular, sailing the Channel in a narrowboat is widely considered to be a bad idea unless you are a master mariner in a specially-made boat. We were strongly advised against it.
"We were assured ordinary narrowboats would turn over or break in two. However, despite being novices we thought we could take out most of the risk by careful research and preparation.
"The Channel is the busiest shipping lane in the world and we had to go right across both shipping lanes. The ships and ferries are very big and very fast and it is pretty terrifying when they bear down on you."
The Canal Cruising Company in Stone prepared the narrowboat and put a storm cover over the front deck.
Company secretary Karen Wyatt said: "I thought they were mad to be honest but I admire them 100 per cent.
"There are no rules against it but it's not something you can just go out and do. They spent a couple of years organising it. It's a fantastic achievement."
Terry is writing a book, Narrow Dog to Carcassonne, charting their travels. It is due to be published in May 2005 after they complete their trip.
The adventurers' voyage was filmed by Carlton Television's Waterworld crew and will feature on the show - which runs for nine weeks - starting tonight at 7.30pm.
Read more about the Darlingtons' mammoth voyage in the February edition of Staffordshire Life.

Read more: http://www.staffordshirenewsletter....tory-20141828-detail/story.html#ixzz4DFa3Qf1d 
Follow us: @StaffsNews on Twitter | StaffordshireNewsletter on Facebook
Read more at http://www.staffordshirenewsletter....0141828-detail/story.html#oF1UKjTaSSeUrBSk.99


----------



## campsitewriter

MEES said:


> Trying to find you on map.
> Is it feasible to visit en route to Spain.
> What route would you take from Dunkirk.
> We live near Preston.
> Margaret


Hi, directions from Dunkirk are basically; head towards Lille then Soissons then towards Paris. Pass to the east of Paris on (I think) N104 and then aim for Bourges, from Bourges go towards Ainay le Chateau (11 km from camp site) and follow signs to BRAIZE

In Braize the first left turn is signed Camping Fosse (don't go there) next left 200 yds on is well signed 'Camping Champ de la Chapelle' and we are 3 km down there

Easiest way is put Champ de la Chapelle (03360) into the sat nav

Hope to see you soon


----------



## campsitewriter

GMJ said:


> Good to have you back writer bloke, with some much needed levity
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Graham :smile2:


Thanks for the kind comment

If you employed my Dutchies (and please feel free to do so before the transfer window closes) you would need a sense of humour otherwise you would be modelling the summer weight version of a straitjacket.


----------



## campsitewriter

Kev_n_Liz said:


> Plus a few hundred on that sentiment I reckon, well at least two anyway G


Hi de hi Kev n Liz

Today I set about pulling up some well rotted tree stumps.

The little Iseki tractor was going like a good un, the stumps had no chance, until....

A rather wobbly stump, standing on an area of higher ground, that should have been easily removed, proved unexpectedly stubborn.

It waggled from side to side and back and forth with only slight hand pressure but could we pull it out

I peered down the sides of the enlarged hole surrounding the tenacious tree and saw with amazement that the trunk appeared to keep going straight down into the very bowels of the earth (well a yard or so)

There was no sign of roots branching off, just a perfectly straight trunk.

Excitedly I hoped this might be a previously undiscovered variety of tree, something exotic that could propel Champ de la Chapelle onto the world stage. Visions of BBC news teams, possibly even the Countryfile crew coming to film this botanic oddity flashed before my eyes.....

'I know what it is' announced Ibele (the male Dutchie), 'this was a tree standing here on flat ground. When the site for the bloc sanitaire was excavated all the 200 tonnes of soil was dumped here and landscaped into the pretty little area of raised ground that we are standing on. The tree then looked stupid and was cut off just above the new raised ground level'.

Well that was my bubble burst. Anyway I have to go and feed our tame two headed stag now, so speak to you later


----------



## MEES

Thanks for the directions 
When do you close for the winter ?
Margaret


----------



## nicholsong

campsitewriter said:


> Well that was my bubble burst. Anyway I have to go and feed our tame two headed* stag *now, so speak to you later


Are you sure it is not a Unicorn?:laugh:


----------



## campsitewriter

MEES said:


> Thanks for the directions
> When do you close for the winter ?
> Margaret


We open mid April and close mid October as by then we have had all the excitement we can handle (plus it starts getting a little nippy by mid October)


----------



## campsitewriter

nicholsong said:


> Are you sure it is not a Unicorn?:laugh:


Sadly Horny, our unicorn, passed away last winter when a mammoth accidentally trod on him. He is greatly missed, especially as we all used to enjoy Ibele saying 'I am going to get horny now'.


----------



## aldra

Well how negligent can you be?

You didn't protect him from the mammoth?

Seems to me you not you are protecting our magic

Just what sort of campsite are you running 

That you allowed the demise of a unicorn?

I'm shocked maybe possibally 

I really wanted to meet a unicorn
Sandra


----------



## Pudsey_Bear

I'll settle for the green alligators and long-necked geese,
Some humpty backed camels and some chimpanzees.
Some cats and rats and elephants, but the loveliest of all was the unicorn.


----------



## campsitewriter

Kev_n_Liz said:


> I'll settle for the green alligators and long-necked geese,
> Some humpty backed camels and some chimpanzees.
> Some cats and rats and elephants, but the loveliest of all was the unicorn.


We have some guests that could give anyone the hump, chumps but not chimps, the cats ate the rats, Nellie the elephant packed her trunk last week. I will check the swimming pool for the green alligators, the long necked geese are now unfortunately fois gras but we are hoping for an Amazon delivery of fresh unicorns in order to continue our rare breeds program


----------



## campsitewriter

aldra said:


> Well how negligent can you be?
> 
> You didn't protect him from the mammoth?
> 
> Seems to me you not you are protecting our magic
> 
> Just what sort of campsite are you running
> 
> That you allowed the demise of a unicorn?
> 
> I'm shocked maybe possibally
> 
> I really wanted to meet a unicorn
> Sandra


I am truly sorry about the unicorn but the mammoth was feeling Horny; as to the sort of camp site I am running, well that is still up for debate.

Whilst sad that you cannot meet a unicorn I can absolutely promise that if you visit I can introduce you to a dragon (scouts honour)


----------



## campsitewriter

campsitewriter said:


> I am truly sorry about the unicorn but the mammoth was feeling Horny; as to the sort of camp site I am running, well that is still up for debate.
> 
> Whilst sad that you cannot meet a unicorn I can absolutely promise that if you visit I can introduce you to a dragon (scouts honour)


The thought of meeting the a dragon seems to have scared you lily livered lot away.

Don't worry she is normally kept chained up, unless you want help with lighting your BBQ

Today I had a rude awakening early hours, 7.00 am ish, with a frantic hammering on my door, 'urgence, venez vite'. Hoping the camp site was on fire I snuggled down in my comfy bed, planning to rout out the insurance documents after a leisurely petit déjeuner taken alfresco as I gazed at the smouldering embers.

'Urgence, venez vite'! Lisbet was insistent.

'For Gods sake woman get some potatoes ready for when the flames die down'.

There was no other option than to make myself decent and stagger out of bed, disappointingly there was no pall of smoke drifting lazily across the freshly mown grass. 'What the hell is the problem?'.

'I have finally found a plumber (in French; overpaid heating professional/ technician) to repair your boiler'. Now that was worth getting out of bed for.

And guess what, the guy promised to arrive at 8.00 am on the dot and by jove he was there bang on 1.15pm, now that's service.


----------



## nicholsong

campsitewriter said:


> 'I have finally found a plumber (in French; overpaid heating professional/ technician) to repair your boiler'. Now that was worth getting out of bed for.
> 
> And guess what, the guy promised to arrive at 8.00 am on the dot and by jove he was there *bang on 1.15pm*, now that's service.


Thanks Simon - PMSL:laugh::laugh::laugh:


----------



## cabby

Sounds a bit like Wales. I am ok here we have a plumber and builder 2 doors away, electrician across the road.


cabby


----------



## campsitewriter

cabby said:


> Sounds a bit like Wales. I am ok here we have a plumber and builder 2 doors away, electrician across the road.
> 
> cabby


Is that 'sounds a bit like Wales' as in just lost the game and going back to the pit face now


----------



## GMJ

Steady lads...no need to bring us into it...:surprise:


Graham :smile2:


----------



## cabby

No not at all. just getting hold of a plumber or other tradesmen and get them to arrive when stated is just as bad in wales, family personal experience. m told that it may be universal.:frown2::frown2:


cabby


----------



## campsitewriter

cabby said:


> No not at all. just getting hold of a plumber or other tradesmen and get them to arrive when stated is just as bad in wales, family personal experience. m told that it may be universal.:frown2::frown2:
> 
> cabby


At present I am waiting for a delivery of heating oil. The oil chappie told me it could be Friday or possibly Saturday morning or if not then most likely Monday or perhaps Tuesday. If anything cropped up at this busy time of year for fuel deliveries he would let me know. I said'why bother telling me, I have nothing to do except sit around waiting'

Heaven help anyone ordering between October and March.

It is all my own fault though, I have told enough people that getting something done in France is no problem. That is if you discount Friday lunchtime until Monday afternoon, the days either side of a bank holiday or anytime between May and September. Simples, just follow these guidelines and your time in France will be a worry and stress free experience


----------



## campsitewriter

campsitewriter said:


> At present I am waiting for a delivery of heating oil. The oil chappie told me it could be Friday or possibly Saturday morning or if not then most likely Monday or perhaps Tuesday. If anything cropped up at this busy time of year for fuel deliveries he would let me know. I said'why bother telling me, I have nothing to do except sit around waiting'
> 
> Heaven help anyone ordering between October and March.
> 
> It is all my own fault though, I have told enough people that getting something done in France is no problem. That is if you discount Friday lunchtime until Monday afternoon, the days either side of a bank holiday or anytime between May and September. Simples, just follow these guidelines and your time in France will be a worry and stress free experience


Just a quickie as it is 23.00 and I have to be up at 6.30 for a little covert action

If you are a gendarme please stop reading now.

Sunday mornings are the time when tent logos are affixed to official road signs. These are so realistic some of the locals have mentioned that it is nice to see the local council supporting the camp site

So a quick trip with the extending ladders and our cleverly designed tent logos and you chaps will eventually find us signposted all the way from Calais (the ultimate aim is all the way from Edinburgh)

Also a sad day as my ex neighbour from the UK, Carlton, who has stayed at the camp site for the last 6 weeks and has worked like a good un has now departed back to reality (wet and cold Lancashire)

Another sad departure is two ladies 'who like ladies' are also due to leave Sunday morning. This pair arrived two weeks ago after booking for 
one night and have stayed ever since. They have been great fun and in all honesty I can say that I have rarely met a nicer pair of people.

So tomorrow (unless arrested for interfering with road signs) will be busy with the Wimbledon mens finals and then the biggie, France v some Spanishy place, so bedtime will be latish

So with such a happening, yet peaceful, camp site why have I not been besieged with MHF members?


----------



## cabby

Because we are much too busy berating each other over how they voted and the subsequences that will arrive sooner rather than later.
Plus just getting over the news that the Swiss banks wish to associate themselves with the UK and Hong kong was disclosed today.

cabby


----------



## pippin

Well, mon cher ami, we are back in the Land of Song after 3 weeks in the Ardèche +/- travelling time.

The said Ardèche was too bloody hot, all of 33°C!

The only thing that made it worth while was Le Pont d'Arc and the beautifully cool river beneath it.

Well, not exactly, as much fun was had.

Sadly, we were too èpuisée by the heat to travel across to your neck of the woods.

I have been reading with interest on my return your saga regarding the moles.

I can commend that you watch the attached clip to lighten your mood:


----------



## tugboat

Looks brilliant kit, Pippin, they even include the gear to check your piles. Not sure the doc would approve of explosives, though.


----------



## aldra

I think we are goingforcroatia this time

I want to swim,I want Albert to swim I want the hound from hell to swim

Please God nothing will occur to stop us

And come the end of august 

We will be off

Sandra


----------



## nicholsong

aldra said:


> I think we are goingforcroatia this time
> 
> I want to swim,I want Albert to swim I want the hound from hell to swim
> 
> Please God nothing will occur to stop us
> 
> And come the end of august
> 
> We will be off
> 
> Sandra


Sandra

I hope it happens for you.

But relevance to French campsite .... and moles?


----------



## aldra

Prob nothing

Dealt with mole topic a while ago

Prob you talking about swimming in the river which had me thinking 

Sandra. :grin2:


----------



## campsitewriter

pippin said:


> Well, mon cher ami, we are back in the Land of Song after 3 weeks in the Ardèche +/- travelling time.
> 
> The said Ardèche was too bloody hot, all of 33°C!
> 
> The only thing that made it worth while was Le Pont d'Arc and the beautifully cool river beneath it.
> 
> Well, not exactly, as much fun was had.
> 
> Sadly, we were too èpuisée by the heat to travel across to your neck of the woods.
> 
> I have been reading with interest on my return your saga regarding the moles.
> 
> I can commend that you watch the attached clip to lighten your mood:


Excellent clip, is it nuclear. I would have to make campers pay when they arrive as they could be leaving in a ambulance


----------



## campsitewriter

cabby said:


> Because we are much too busy berating each other over how they voted and the subsequences that will arrive sooner rather than later.
> Plus just getting over the news that the Swiss banks wish to associate themselves with the UK and Hong kong was disclosed today.
> 
> cabby


I would also like to associate myself with Swiss and Hong Kong banks, do you know the minimum deposit required to open an account? Is it more than €11.57?


----------



## campsitewriter

aldra said:


> I think we are goingforcroatia this time
> 
> I want to swim,I want Albert to swim I want the hound from hell to swim
> 
> Please God nothing will occur to stop us
> 
> And come the end of august
> 
> We will be off
> 
> Sandra


Is that with your kit on or off?


----------



## campsitewriter

nicholsong said:


> Sandra
> 
> I hope it happens for you.
> 
> But relevance to French campsite .... and moles?


Possibly a very long mole tunnel from France to Croatia or perhaps they are only pretending to go to Croatia and really come here to surprise me


----------



## campsitewriter

tugboat said:


> Looks brilliant kit, Pippin, they even include the gear to check your piles. Not sure the doc would approve of explosives, though.


You would win a farting competition if you could time the detonation accurately


----------



## aldra

Get In there 

I never consider your posts as advertising 

It's just a story of a northern lad in France 

Well if there's books great I'm in for it

Doubt I'll see you this year , fancy the Dalmatian coast

I need to swim off the campsite, straight off the campsite 

With the hound from hell 

We have the scooter, but I'm not feeling safe on it

And if we have an accident

Who knows the hound from hell is in the van??

And who will get him out?

He is a gentle giant., but he would need to protect the MH 

So I'd prefer the sea was along side us

And we could all three of us just swim and relax

Sandra


----------



## pippin

"Is that with your kit on or off?"

Well, in France "Shorts et Bermudas - INTERD*I*TE!"

Doesn't usually state whether that applies to dogs as well.

Or to women either!

I will re-ignite the Speedo® (other briefs are available) debate when (or if) I have recovered from my bout of man-flu.


----------



## aldra

Goodness Man Flue

Now that's serious

My swimming is with kit

Im a consevationalist 

Can't be terrifying the sea life

Shadows covered 100 %
Unless we decide to have him shaved

A pink MH facts dog from hell>

Sandra:wink2:


----------



## campsitewriter

pippin said:


> "Is that with your kit on or off?"
> 
> Well, in France "Shorts et Bermudas - INTERD*I*TE!"
> 
> Doesn't usually state whether that applies to dogs as well.
> 
> Or to women either!
> 
> I will re-ignite the Speedo® (other briefs are available) debate when (or if) I have recovered from my bout of man-flu.


Nothing wrong with speedos it is usually the wearer that has the problems

Fortunately I am able to offer an affordable way for men to look good in speedos

Come and work (unpaid obviously) at Champ de la Chapelle for a month and you will definitely look better in budgie catchers than when you arrived

Normal weight loss for a full season is usually 15 kgs (and I drink far too much and eat a lot of cakes ((quality meat pies being unavailable in Braize))
I start about 80 kg and finish at 65kgs

So ladies send your chaps here and I will return a lean, mean, love machine after 28 days (3 years in serious cases)

Post overweight hubbies to

Champ de la Chapelle fitness club
BRAIZE


----------



## campsitewriter

aldra said:


> Get In there
> 
> I never consider your posts as advertising
> 
> It's just a story of a northern lad in France
> 
> Well if there's books great I'm in for it
> 
> Doubt I'll see you this year , fancy the Dalmatian coast
> 
> I need to swim off the campsite, straight off the campsite
> 
> With the hound from hell
> 
> We have the scooter, but I'm not feeling safe on it
> 
> And if we have an accident
> 
> Who knows the hound from hell is in the van??
> 
> And who will get him out?
> 
> He is a gentle giant., but he would need to protect the MH
> 
> So I'd prefer the sea was along side us
> 
> And we could all three of us just swim and relax
> 
> Sandra


If I was just posting to advertise I can assure you that by now I would have realised that motorhome owners are not the target audience required to fill a camp site

For reasons that totally escape me, MH owners of fairly costly vehicles seem to like camping in car parks

In St Amand today I looked at an aire crammed with several million £s worth of motorhomes jammed onto a sea of gravel and thought, why?

But each to their own and home I sped to watch happy campers strolling around my 16 freshly mown acres before a dip in the pool or a cold beer in the bar (only €2.00) whilst logging on using the free wifi with birds gently twittering in the background. Afterwards perhaps a shower in the recently scrubbed and polished bloc sanitaire before asking me for the free loan of a BBQ to cook something tasty or perhaps a cheap snack from the camp site cafe but obviously if you stay here on a none electric pitch you will be ripped off for €12.00 per night in high season

Best stick with the aires and save a few bob 
PS my French taxes support your aires

Sorry to sound annoyed but can you see where I am going with this?


----------



## Pudsey_Bear

I can see why you would be a bit miffed, not having been on an Aire, I can't see the point of them from a MoHo point of view, may as well pay and enjoy the benefits, but I'd not stay on a site either, we wild camp, we always wild camp, not because it's free, but so we can have freedom from other people, we like to find a nice quiet spot, spend usually one night and then move on, we do have one or two places where we like to stay for 2-3 nights, but not many as they tend to be tucked away where our presence isn't noticed, and because as well as not wanting to be bothered, we don't want to bother others.


----------



## aldra

We tend to use Aires when travelling, wild camp where there is a nice spot and campsites 

I guess one of the problems with MH is that there is no transport for getting around off the campsite so the position of the campsite is important if you wish to see things around 

For a week of relaxing though it's fine, and as we tend to travel for a couple of months we have the time 

Must admit I envoy thecaravanners when on site as they can just take off in their cars to explore 

Sandra


----------



## pippin

Campsitemoaner:

*"Sorry to sound annoyed but can you see where I am going with this?"*

Yes, *BUST!* (sadly not of the *:female:* kind!)

Incidentally, I paid €2.40 for a 25cl glass of _pression_ on a campsite in the Ardèche.

To be scrupulously honest I paid €2.40 each for quite a few 24cl glarsis of pressssssyun. I think!

As for Aires (de repos de camping-cars) they are mighty handy for en-route stop-overs. (thanks moaner for your tax contributions).

Even handier for the odd night in an interesting town when the nearest campsite is a three-day camel ride away.

OK for tuggers with camels, no good for MHers with built-in camels.

Just to twist the knife - we don't usually have to pay any _taxe de sejour_ on an Aire de repos de camping-cars.


----------



## pippin

Sandra:

"Must admit I envoy (_envy?_) the caravanners when on site as they can just take off in their cars to explore"

No Sandra - what I *really* enjoy is watching the tuggers setting up and breaking camp.

Endless hours of fun - especially the awning on a wet/windy day.

Unusually for us this last holiday we spent nine nights on one campsite.

We too explored using the MH on several days.

It took all of, let me see, one minute to prep the MH prior to releasing handbrake and even less to get the wine glasses filled on our return.


----------



## chilly

pippin said:


> Campsitemoaner:
> 
> *"Sorry to sound annoyed but can you see where I am going with this?"*
> 
> Yes, *BUST!* (sadly not of the *:female:* kind!)
> 
> Incidentally, I paid €2.40 for a 25cl glass of _pression_ on a campsite in the Ardèche.
> 
> To be scrupulously honest I paid €2.40 each for quite a few 24cl glarsis of pressssssyun. I think!
> 
> As for Aires (de repos de camping-cars) they are mighty handy for en-route stop-overs. (thanks moaner for your tax contributions).
> 
> Even handier for the odd night in an interesting town when the nearest campsite is a three-day camel ride away.
> 
> OK for tuggers with camels, no good for MHers with built-in camels.
> 
> Just to twist the knife - we don't usually have to pay any _taxe de sejour_ on an Aire de repos de camping-cars.


Very nice! (not) :frown2:


----------



## Pudsey_Bear

Anyone seen Pippins plot > >


----------



## campsitewriter

pippin said:


> Campsitemoaner:
> 
> *"Sorry to sound annoyed but can you see where I am going with this?"*
> 
> Yes, *BUST!* (sadly not of the *:female:* kind!)
> 
> Incidentally, I paid €2.40 for a 25cl glass of _pression_ on a campsite in the Ardèche.
> 
> To be scrupulously honest I paid €2.40 each for quite a few 24cl glarsis of pressssssyun. I think!
> 
> As for Aires (de repos de camping-cars) they are mighty handy for en-route stop-overs. (thanks moaner for your tax contributions).
> 
> Even handier for the odd night in an interesting town when the nearest campsite is a three-day camel ride away.
> 
> OK for tuggers with camels, no good for MHers with built-in camels.
> 
> Just to twist the knife - we don't usually have to pay any _taxe de sejour_ on an Aire de repos de camping-cars.


I quite agree, the 25 cent' person /day tax (paying for tourist offices etc) is definitely a deal breaker as it would add up to €15 per month for a couple


----------



## campsitewriter

aldra said:


> We tend to use Aires when travelling, wild camp where there is a nice spot and campsites
> 
> I guess one of the problems with MH is that there is no transport for getting around off the campsite so the position of the campsite is important if you wish to see things around
> 
> For a week of relaxing though it's fine, and as we tend to travel for a couple of months we have the time
> 
> Must admit I envoy thecaravanners when on site as they can just take off in their cars to explore
> 
> Sandra


Obviously if you can wild camp within walking distance of a town with bars and shops that is ideal


----------



## campsitewriter

Kev_n_Liz said:


> I can see why you would be a bit miffed, not having been on an Aire, I can't see the point of them from a MoHo point of view, may as well pay and enjoy the benefits, but I'd not stay on a site either, we wild camp, we always wild camp, not because it's free, but so we can have freedom from other people, we like to find a nice quiet spot, spend usually one night and then move on, we do have one or two places where we like to stay for 2-3 nights, but not many as they tend to be tucked away where our presence isn't noticed, and because as well as not wanting to be bothered, we don't want to bother others.


A short tale re staying a night or two and then moving on (reminds me of a chap who said he had been to Barcelona. When I mentioned some of the great sights there, he admitted to only have driven through the city without stopping).

A couple recently visited Champ de la Chapelle planning to stay for a couple of nights and then stayed for 13 nights. While grateful for the business I inquired about their change of plans.

The simple answer was 'there was so much to see and do around the area that we stayed on. It was also nice to just relax instead of driving long distances every day or so.'

I have been here for over a year and there are still plenty of things that I have not yet seen or done.

Recently there was a major air show held fairly locally. I asked one couple if they were planning to visit. The reply staggered me. 'We have drawn up our schedule and have to stick to it so although we would love to go we have to continue on our way'.

'Fair enough' said I 'if you are booked in somewhere else I can see what you mean'.

Reply from the couple was 'no we are not booked elsewhere but we need to get off as we have a long drive'.

So I now understand that having a MH is to drive around looking for car parks in a quiet area in the middle of a town out in the wilds with no tax to pay rather than stay places and visit around the area, I think I have got that right


----------



## aldra

pippin said:


> Sandra:
> 
> "Must admit I envoy (_envy?_) the caravanners when on site as they can just take off in their cars to explore"
> 
> No Sandra - what I *really* enjoy is watching the tuggers setting up and breaking camp.
> 
> Endless hours of fun - especially the awning on a wet/windy day.
> 
> Unusually for us this last holiday we spent nine nights on one campsite.
> 
> We too explored using the MH on several days.
> 
> It took all of, let me see, one minute to prep the MH prior to releasing handbrake and even less to get the wine glasses filled on our return.


Yes, but it's finding a place to park if visiting a town , or market that's the problem
Plus we like to put up the wind blockers when on campsites, which allows a bit of privacy, well a lot really as we have the lined ones

I just have to persevere with scooter. :frown2::frown2:

Sandra


----------



## Pudsey_Bear

campsitewriter said:


> So I now understand that having a MH is to drive around looking for car parks in a quiet area in the middle of a town out in the wilds with no tax to pay rather than stay places and visit around the area, I think I have got that right


Not even close, it's not being 12 feet from another van, where is important, being comfortable is important, not having to meet someone elses expectations or timetable is important, taxes are taxes, no one I know likes them.

Don't knock it til you've tried it, it called being independent, and why we will never use a site other than to pay for the use of their facilities, those who are canny enough to offer them of course, which at least here in the UK are few and far between, not very forward looking here.


----------



## campsitewriter

Kev_n_Liz said:


> Not even close, it's not being 12 feet from another van, where is important, being comfortable is important, not having to meet someone elses expectations or timetable is important, taxes are taxes, no one I know likes them.
> 
> Don't knock it til you've tried it, it called being independent, and why we will never use a site other than to pay for the use of their facilities, those who are canny enough to offer them of course, which at least here in the UK are few and far between, not very forward looking here.


I just love winding you guys up, only in a nice way unlike the rather odd individual who seemed to hope I would go bust


----------



## campsitewriter

aldra said:


> Yes, but it's finding a place to park if visiting a town , or market that's the problem
> Plus we like to put up the wind blockers when on campsites, which allows a bit of privacy, well a lot really as we have the lined ones
> 
> I just have to persevere with scooter. :frown2::frown2:
> 
> Sandra


Gosh knocking aires seems to elicit almost as much excitement as electric hook ups having the wrong polarity

I will have to try and make a post involving electric and aires as a special treat


----------



## Pudsey_Bear

campsitewriter said:


> I just love winding you guys up, only in a nice way unlike the rather odd individual who seemed to hope I would go bust


Winding potential customers up, which school of business did that come from, oh the smart arse one, you would have got an A then > > >


----------



## chilly

Kev_n_Liz said:


> Winding potential customers up, which school of business did that come from, oh the smart arse one, you would have got an A then > > >


I think it's called...

...'a bit of *FUN*'

Chill


----------



## aldra

Hey hold on

Why quote me

I do campsites

I restrain the MHF from hell hound from attacking all and sundry

I then restrain him from over loving those he has been introduced to

This is an 8 stone+ hound from hell

Control isn't easy

Which is why we have a garage with internal wire doors

Once introduced your on your own

Ask people who have met him

He is a pussy cat, but careful he'd like to plonk his 8 stone + on your knee

Yes a bad tempered pussy cat Before he meets you

Then he just makes me out to be a liar

But we need to be careful

And we are at all times

Sandra


----------



## Pudsey_Bear

chilly said:


> I think it's called...
> 
> ...'a bit of *FUN*'
> 
> Chill


I know that silly Chilly, Ironing is wasted on here sometimes


----------



## campsitewriter

Kev_n_Liz said:


> Winding potential customers up, which school of business did that come from, oh the smart arse one, you would have got an A then > > >


Sorry which potential customers did I wind up

Still awaiting the first MHF visitor


----------



## Pudsey_Bear

campsitewriter said:


> Sorry which potential customers did I wind up
> 
> Still awaiting the first MHF visitor


I rest my case  

Come on lets have more stories, that's what you're good at


----------



## eurajohn

campsitewriter said:


> Sorry which potential customers did I wind up
> 
> Still awaiting the first MHF visitor


Carry on like that and you'll probably never see one. :laugh:


----------



## aldra

campsitewriter said:


> Sorry which potential customers did I wind up
> 
> Still awaiting the first MHF visitor


You wound up me

But then again I'm so slow to wind up

Id love to visit

But we have to prioritise 
Or may be we don't

Will Albert's melanoma cut in?

We don't know
We could be here in years

Or maybe not

He's already had numerous operations

So we are not so sure now

Sandra


----------



## pippin

Kev asked "_Anyone seen Pippins plot_?"

Sorry - I seem to have lost it!

As for no MHF member having visited Camp de Cathédrale (see - I can be complementary),

well we would have paid (reluctantly, in the € sense!) you a visit on our return from the Ardèche to Calais had we not been so knackered, A} by the heat and B} by my chemo.

As for the Bust :female:









well, can't I make a clever joke just occasionally?


----------



## MEES

Well I'm facinated by the story please continue.
Depending on the weather we would love to drop in on our way to Spain at end of September.
You sound like a lovely guy working hard to run a fascinating business 😍


----------



## campsitewriter

eurajohn said:


> Carry on like that and you'll probably never see one. :laugh:


I would very much like to meet some of you chaps, I certainly don't expect that you are all going to rush down here (although that would be great) but it would be nice to see someone from MHF. I am proud of this camp site and of all the hard work that I have done over the last 15 months and it's nice to show it off, even to people that I have only met over the ether

Unless (and I know that you love conspiracy theories, see the first half dozen pages of this thread) you are all one person who loves typing. This could explain several things

I must rush off now as I have a campfire to light and some jolly visitors to entertain

Hopefully something amusing will happen and another camp site story will be born


----------



## campsitewriter

pippin said:


> Kev asked "_Anyone seen Pippins plot_?"
> 
> Sorry - I seem to have lost it!
> 
> As for no MHF member having visited Camp de Cathédrale (see - I can be complementary),
> 
> well we would have paid (reluctantly, in the € sense!) you a visit on our return from the Ardèche to Calais had we not been so knackered, A} by the heat and B} by my chemo.
> 
> As for the Bust :female:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> well, can't I make a clever joke just occasionally?


Well thank you for the compliment and best of luck with the chemo

Was the female bit added in case readers assumed that they were lager tits?


----------



## cabby

As our membership on here is not exclusively UK based, you would not really know if one or more of us have dropped in without making ourselves known.

Not all the vehicles entering the campsite have flashing lights and sirens.

I am told that you welcome tents and even assist to locate them to their best advantage.

cabby


----------



## pippin

Campie -

The chemo ended in December and I thought I was over _la fatigue débilitante et l'épuisement_.

Not so, unfortunately.

We are off later in August - driving down to _l'aéroport de Bordeaux_ to collect our daughter and 12 year old grand daughter for a (time-limited) fortnight camping holiday nearby.

After our recent experience we are going to have to bring forward our Dover/Calais crossing to allow for driving rest days.
Similar for the return journey after we dump them at _l'aéroport de Bordeaux_ for their amazingly rapid return journey.

Who knows, we might even leave enough time on the return journey to travel via 03360, BRAIZE.

But only if you can guarantee that there will be NO yellow fever, dengue fever or sika virus carrying mosquitoes in your lake and that you have a certificate confirming eradication of processionary caterpillars.

(we came back from the Ardèche covered in volcano-like bites, even though we had not been anywhere near the various Puys!)

Oh, and just to prove that I am bisexual (perhaps I should reword that!):

:male:


----------



## campsitewriter

cabby said:


> As our membership on here is not exclusively UK based, you would not really know if one or more of us have dropped in without making ourselves known.
> 
> Not all the vehicles entering the campsite have flashing lights and sirens.
> 
> I am told that you welcome tents and even assist to locate them to their best advantage.
> 
> cabby


Very true, obviously far more people are members than the brave few who have followed and contributed to my ramblings. I stand corrected

I hope that any MHF members that have stayed here had a pleasant visit and if they have any tips for improvements or hopefully some aspect of their stay that they particularly enjoyed I would be very grateful for any suggestions or even just an overview of their thoughts.

As for welcoming tents we try and welcome one and all (just wish there was a bit more all)

cheers

uld have bells and sirens


----------



## campsitewriter

pippin said:


> Campie -
> 
> The chemo ended in December and I thought I was over _la fatigue débilitante et l'épuisement_.
> 
> Not so, unfortunately.
> 
> We are off later in August - driving down to _l'aéroport de Bordeaux_ to collect our daughter and 12 year old grand daughter for a (time-limited) fortnight camping holiday nearby.
> 
> After our recent experience we are going to have to bring forward our Dover/Calais crossing to allow for driving rest days.
> Similar for the return journey after we dump them at _l'aéroport de Bordeaux_ for their amazingly rapid return journey.
> 
> Who knows, we might even leave enough time on the return journey to travel via 03360, BRAIZE.
> 
> But only if you can guarantee that there will be NO yellow fever, dengue fever or sika virus carrying mosquitoes in your lake and that you have a certificate confirming eradication of processionary caterpillars.
> 
> (we came back from the Ardèche covered in volcano-like bites, even though we had not been anywhere near the various Puys!)
> 
> Oh, and just to prove that I am bisexual (perhaps I should reword that!):
> 
> :male:


Love the silhouette of you sunbathing.

As for nasty biting creatures I will have the Dutchies teeth pulled but cannot guarantee the behaviour of the resident insect population.

We have midges and some (although not too many) mosquitoes but I am encouraging the bat population as they are excellent insect controllers.

May I suggest you buy your daughter and granddaughter a fruity smelling shower gel, the insects will be lured towards them and hopefully leave you intact.

The local lake is not on the camp site but by the village of St Bonnet Troncais just so you are not expecting to be lulled to sleep by the gentle lapping of water.

Take it easy, I would imagine chemo takes a lot of getting over.


----------



## campsitewriter

MEES said:


> Well I'm facinated by the story please continue.
> Depending on the weather we would love to drop in on our way to Spain at end of September.
> You sound like a lovely guy working hard to run a fascinating business 😍


Well thanks for the nice words although having started on the mammoth task of sanding down 49 lamp posts and repainting them, fascinating may be stretching it a little

The best bit is when people arrive and later I trot over to see if they need a hand setting up or any info etc and they say 'you have a really beautiful camp site here'. It makes all the painting, mowing, scrubbing and so on worthwhile.

But I have to earn my keep on this site so I thought a little tale from pre camp site owning days might raise a few spirits.

About 5 years ago my mother-in-law, Charlotte and her gentleman friend Jim came to stay with Lorraine and myself at our house in Chateauponsac (Lorraines father having passed away 20some years ago in case you were wondering).

Now both Charlotte and Jim hail from Bonny Scotland, a small country run by the infamous wee Crankie. Based on that could you try and read the following conversation with a strong Glasgow accent.

Jim loved his pipe and if abroad would try out the local tobaccos.

With this lung destroying pastime in mind Lorraine and I escorted Big Jim, so called as he topped 6' 4", to the local tabac.

Upon entering this smokers paradise we found a petite young French lady behind the counter. Jim leaned over the counter, towering above the wee French lassie as he scanned the brands of pipe tobacco on display.

Cowering beneath this looming Scotsman the lassie asked how she could help the tall Monsieur

"I'm looking for a good shag lassie" Jim muttered as he scanned the shelves, "I could do with a good rough shag, can you help me out".

At this point Lorraine and I exited the shop before we wet ourselves.

Jim left shortly afterwards with a satisfied grin on his face and a couple of pouches in his hands.

I was never sure if he realised what he had said, perhaps not but he does have an evil sense of humour, so who knows.


----------



## cabby

Now that is your best one so far, loved it and can even picture it, well always was an evil sod.

cabby


----------



## campsitewriter

cabby said:


> Now that is your best one so far, loved it and can even picture it, well always was an evil sod.
> 
> cabby


Ah I am beginning to get a feel for my audience, glad you enjoyed it, more ipe porn on the way


----------



## Pudsey_Bear

Re your wonderful camp site, why not do a video of it all, post it on YouTube, and embed it into your web site then all will be able to see it's charms, you should have done one before you started work on it, then you could have a before and after.


----------



## pippin

Make sure you include (close-ups, *very* close-ups) of the topless/nudistes by the pool.

Please, please turn off the sound recording when you video the night-time "scenes".


----------



## campsitewriter

Kev_n_Liz said:


> Re your wonderful camp site, why not do a video of it all, post it on YouTube, and embed it into your web site then all will be able to see it's charms, you should have done one before you started work on it, then you could have a before and after.


I will get a clip of Steptoe and Son and use that as a before

The you tube idea is a good one and I will look into it. I think that videos need to look reasonably professional otherwise they can give a very poor impression.

Thanks


----------



## campsitewriter

pippin said:


> Make sure you include (close-ups, *very* close-ups) of the topless/nudistes by the pool.
> 
> Please, please turn off the sound recording when you video the night-time "scenes".


Are you by any chance the infamous 'camp site creeper' number one on Interpols most wanted list

Is that the wind arustling in the trees
or is it the camp site creepers
creaking and knackered old knees
as he leers with his bloodshot peepers


----------



## pippin

Infamy, infamy - they've all got it in for me.


----------



## campsitewriter

pippin said:


> Infamy, infamy - they've all got it in for me.


As the prostitute said to the bishop


----------



## Pudsey_Bear

campsitewriter said:


> I will get a clip of Steptoe and Son and use that as a before
> 
> The you tube idea is a good one and I will look into it. I think that videos need to look reasonably professional otherwise they can give a very poor impression.
> 
> Thanks


Get a camera steady, and do it mute and ad the usual free porn music to it :roll:


----------



## cabby

This thread is going downhill slowly, can someone give it a wipe with a clean rag.


cabby


----------



## campsitewriter

cabby said:


> This thread is going downhill slowly, can someone give it a wipe with a clean rag.
> 
> cabby


I blame Pippin myself

I shall spend the evening serving food and drink to campers whilst mentally composing a suitably uplifting sermon for the more righteous among you


----------



## aldra

Too late

You've already gone downhill
Sandra :grin2:


----------



## Robin McHood

Thoroughly enjoying your Epistle to the Corinthians, PML.. (literally, the old bladder control isnt what it was)...(I was going to say Great Unwashed but as most of us are MHO's and have showers....) and the various asides/off topic comments, though do take exception :wink2: to some of the opinions expressed about us Sweaties... and as I told DC the other day before he get booted, the "North" bit of the UK is the 400 miles the other side of Hadrian's Wall. Them so called 'Northerners' are really Midlanders:grin2::grin2: So I assumed when he referred to the "Northern Powerhouse", he was referring to sheep farming in the Highlands.. and we can't quite figure out why we need a High Speed Train when we mostly don't even have dual carriageways Oop North..:laugh::laugh:
Anyway, with my long overdue retirement on the horizon we will be seeking that free drink (Spiced Rum & Coke and Merchant Navy Tot please) as respite from our travels sometime in 2017.... Slainte


----------



## campsitewriter

Robin McHood said:


> Thoroughly enjoying your Epistle to the Corinthians, PML.. (literally, the old bladder control isnt what it was)...(I was going to say Great Unwashed but as most of us are MHO's and have showers....) and the various asides/off topic comments, though do take exception :wink2: to some of the opinions expressed about us Sweaties... and as I told DC the other day before he get booted, the "North" bit of the UK is the 400 miles the other side of Hadrian's Wall. Them so called 'Northerners' are really Midlanders:grin2::grin2: So I assumed when he referred to the "Northern Powerhouse", he was referring to sheep farming in the Highlands.. and we can't quite figure out why we need a High Speed Train when we mostly don't even have dual carriageways Oop North..:laugh::laugh:
> Anyway, with my long overdue retirement on the horizon we will be seeking that free drink (Spiced Rum & Coke and Merchant Navy Tot please) as respite from our travels sometime in 2017.... Slainte


Looking forward to meeting you, will you require grazing for the sheep?


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## campsitewriter

campsitewriter said:


> Looking forward to m40 eeting you, will you require grazing for the sheep?


I went to Saint Amand Montrond, my nearest town with a Brico, After treating myself to camp site owners porn, don't worry just the sit n ride mowers parked outside, I ventured into the cavernous interior.

After having a look at the exterior gloss paint, mainly to reassure myself that I had not been mistaken and they actually expected folk to buy gloss at €78 for two litres of poor quality paint, I headed off to buy some rope and bits and bobs.

Exiting the Brico I shook my head and wondered how 24 metress of thinnish cord and 3 light bulbs could possibly have cost €65.

I should have opened a hardware store rather than a camp site.

Anyway on my return trip I passed a pleasant little aire, just where the dual carriageway joins the roundabout, one of the major routes into St Amand.

Suddenly I got it. Previously I could not understand the MH owners love of aires. Seeing all these gorgeous MHs snuggled up, head to tail next to an attractive industrial estate I could see the attraction.

Straight off the motorway and park, no messing around driving 2 or 3 miles into the countryside, an all night filling station within spitting distance, not to mention the McDonalds and the tyre company.

So easy to make new friends, one could hardly help bumping into them. Even opening your door would invite you into the neighbours MH.

I am definitely going to buy an aire


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## dghr272

campsitewriter said:


> I went to Saint Amand Montrond, my nearest town with a Brico, After treating myself to camp site owners porn, don't worry just the sit n ride mowers parked outside, I ventured into the cavernous interior.
> 
> After having a look at the exterior gloss paint, mainly to reassure myself that I had not been mistaken and they actually expected folk to buy gloss at €78 for two litres of poor quality paint, I headed off to buy some rope and bits and bobs.
> 
> Exiting the Brico I shook my head and wondered how 24 metress of thinnish cord and 3 light bulbs could possibly have cost €65.
> 
> I should have opened a hardware store rather than a camp site.
> 
> Anyway on my return trip I passed a pleasant little aire, just where the dual carriageway joins the roundabout, one of the major routes into St Amand.
> 
> Suddenly I got it. Previously I could not understand the MH owners love of aires. Seeing all these gorgeous MHs snuggled up, head to tail next to an attractive industrial estate I could see the attraction.
> 
> Straight off the motorway and park, no messing around driving 2 or 3 miles into the countryside, an all night filling station within spitting distance, not to mention the McDonalds and the tyre company.
> 
> So easy to make new friends, one could hardly help bumping into them. Even opening your door would invite you into the neighbours MH.
> 
> I am definitely going to buy an aire


Spot on Simon, it's why we steer clear of such Aires, :surprise: even the free McDonalds wifi wouldn't attract me. Although I'm happy for those that do, as it frees up sites in campsites for me, every cloud etc, and each to their own. :grin2:

Terry


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## eurajohn

I can understand why you would have such a keen dislike for any establishment that would deter visitors to your area spending their money somewhere other than your pride and joy.
However you really should venture out in a motorhome to some of the more pleasant aires that are very plentiful around the country you and I live in.


I, like you detest the crowded car park type of aire that you so eloquently describe.
Not necessarily close to you, but lovely out of the way areas can be found that are a pleasure to stay at if a small amount of effort is used. 
The downside of these super places will be that there is no swimming pool, no on site facilities (other than those necessary for the service of motorhomes) no "entertainment" indeed probably only nature and peace and quite.
You would probably be surprised how many motorhome owners wish for nothing more than that.
If we wanted the hustle, bustle, noisy kids and music etc.very often found at commercial camp sites we would frequent them more often.


For some (a lot of the French) the possibility of something for nothing will be the reason for not using sites, yours or any other. For others it will be that we /they simply don't want or need what the camp site offers but actively seek what they do want.
You perhaps have missed the point that modern motorhomes are fully equipped with all the "necessities" of modern life, there is no need to visit the sites toilet block no matter how nice, shiny and clean it may or may not be, they have full toilet / shower facilities, the facilities to prepare all meals, and if being used in the Winter when sites like yours will be closed the facility to stay warm and dry.


Personally we mix between aires, commercial sites and Municipal sites as and when we want, when choosing sites the criteria will be small and quite, strangely they are / have often been small Dutch owned ones tucked away miles from civilisation in the heart of the countryside.
I will if in your area come in for a visit, might even introduce myself :wink2:.


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## Pudsey_Bear

eurajohn said:


> I can understand why you would have such a keen dislike for any establishment that would deter visitors to your area spending their money somewhere other than your pride and joy.
> However you really should venture out in a motorhome to some of the more pleasant aires that are very plentiful around the country you and I live in.
> 
> I, like you detest the crowded car park type of aire that you so eloquently describe.
> Not necessarily close to you, but lovely out of the way areas can be found that are a pleasure to stay at if a small amount of effort is used.
> The downside of these super places will be that there is no swimming pool, no on site facilities (other than those necessary for the service of motorhomes) no "entertainment" indeed probably only nature and peace and quite.
> You would probably be surprised how many motorhome owners wish for nothing more than that.
> If we wanted the hustle, bustle, noisy kids and music etc.very often found at commercial camp sites we would frequent them more often.
> 
> For some (a lot of the French) the possibility of something for nothing will be the reason for not using sites, yours or any other. For others it will be that we /they simply don't want or need what the camp site offers but actively seek what they do want.
> You perhaps have missed the point that modern motorhomes are fully equipped with all the "necessities" of modern life, there is no need to visit the sites toilet block no matter how nice, shiny and clean it may or may not be, they have full toilet / shower facilities, the facilities to prepare all meals, and if being used in the Winter when sites like yours will be closed the facility to stay warm and dry.
> 
> Personally we mix between aires, commercial sites and Municipal sites as and when we want, when choosing sites the criteria will be small and quite, strangely they are / have often been small Dutch owned ones tucked away miles from civilisation in the heart of the countryside.
> I will if in your area come in for a visit, might even introduce myself :wink2:.


You mention Municipals John, I think it's possibly the first time I've 'seen' it on here, I've only been to France twice both on bikes, but stayed on Municipals both times, do you know if there is a list available, I will go search, but thought I'd post first.


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## gaspode

campsitewriter said:


> Suddenly I got it. Previously I could not understand the MH owners love of aires. Seeing all these gorgeous MHs snuggled up, head to tail next to an attractive industrial estate I could see the attraction


Unfortunately Simon you're judging all aires on a single example.
Just to balance the books, here's a photo of an aire (Lac de Paraloupe) that we quite like, not the best but one of the good ones. As with campsites there are the good, the bad and the downright lousy - I'm sure you know all about those.

BTW: I can't recall the exact cost of that aire but it was somewhere in the region of €10 including hook-up, water and WC/shower.
Could you compete?


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## pippin

Sadly it seems that the majority of Municipals are being sold off by the, er, Municipalities.

Presumably to raise cash.

Even more sadly the new commercial owners then bump up the prices, lower the standards and fill them with "statics" to make even more money.

I have seen enough of the serried ranks of so-called "mobile-homes" aka "statics") here on the coast of Wales (where I live) to want to avoid such sites like the plague.


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## eurajohn

Kev_n_Liz said:


> You mention Municipals John, I think it's possibly the first time I've 'seen' it on here, I've only been to France twice both on bikes, but stayed on Municipals both times, do you know if there is a list available, I will go search, but thought I'd post first.


Kev, this site lists quite a few http://www.camping-municipal.org/ it's pretty extensive but I'm sure there are more.
As pippin says, many are being sold off to commercial owners, often the larger ones will end up like just about every other large camp site.
However there is a company that is taking over some and making them commercial motorhome aires, they do vary considerably in quality but each have designated pitches and most with electricity and wifi http://www.camping-car-park.com/en/aire-de-camping.
Unfortunately some are as campsitewriter describes but others are still worth a visit.
.


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## cabby

Many years ago I considered buying a municipal site , but thet were not for sale, now of course am too old. Should we resurrect the MHF buy a site and consider buying a municipal instead.Mr plodd could use it then.

cabby


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## pippin

cabby said:


> Many years ago I considered buying a municipal site , but they were not for sale, now of course am too old.
> 
> Should we resurrect the MHF buy a site and consider buying a municipal instead.
> 
> *Mr Plodd could use it then.*
> 
> cabby


You have to be joking!


----------



## campsitewriter

dghr272 said:


> Spot on Simon, it's why we steer clear of such Aires, :surprise: even the free McDonalds wifi wouldn't attract me. Although I'm happy for those that do, as it frees up sites in campsites for me, every cloud etc, and each to their own. :grin2:
> 
> Terry


You seem like a sound chap


----------



## campsitewriter

eurajohn said:


> I can understand why you would have such a keen dislike for any establishment that would deter visitors to your area spending their money somewhere other than your pride and joy.
> However you really should venture out in a motorhome to some of the more pleasant aires that are very plentiful around the country you and I live in.
> 
> I, like you detest the crowded car park type of aire that you so eloquently describe.
> Not necessarily close to you, but lovely out of the way areas can be found that are a pleasure to stay at if a small amount of effort is used.
> The downside of these super places will be that there is no swimming pool, no on site facilities (other than those necessary for the service of motorhomes) no "entertainment" indeed probably only nature and peace and quite.
> You would probably be surprised how many motorhome owners wish for nothing more than that.
> If we wanted the hustle, bustle, noisy kids and music etc.very often found at commercial camp sites we would frequent them more often.
> 
> For some (a lot of the French) the possibility of something for nothing will be the reason for not using sites, yours or any other. For others it will be that we /they simply don't want or need what the camp site offers but actively seek what they do want.
> You perhaps have missed the point that modern motorhomes are fully equipped with all the "necessities" of modern life, there is no need to visit the sites toilet block no matter how nice, shiny and clean it may or may not be, they have full toilet / shower facilities, the facilities to prepare all meals, and if being used in the Winter when sites like yours will be closed the facility to stay warm and dry.
> 
> Personally we mix between aires, commercial sites and Municipal sites as and when we want, when choosing sites the criteria will be small and quite, strangely they are / have often been small Dutch owned ones tucked away miles from civilisation in the heart of the countryside.
> I will if in your area come in for a visit, might even introduce myself :wink2:.


Well it would be lovely to meet you

On Monday this week 'La Montagne' a French newspaper, published a full page article on Champ de la Chapelle. The journalist, Fabrico Redon, rang up out of the blue and asked if he could do an article about the camp site.

Apparently he had driven past a few times and thought that an article about a camp site in the famous 'Foret de Troncais' could be of interest.

I was in two minds about his request, on one hand all publicity is welcome but on the other hand would we be ridiculed and compared with the big commercial sites.

Well 'worry ye not'. M.Redon turned out to be a charming gentleman with a genuine love of the area and of nature. He spent about two hours here and gave us a lovely write up

Quote (my translation but pretty accurate even so) * It is today run by an Englishman, his is probably the most unusual Montlucon camping site. Lost in the middle of nowhere. In the heart of the forest of Troncais
To reach the campsite there are two possibilities: through the forest on the bumpy road when arriving from the direction of Cerilly or the town road behind the church from Braize. Here there is no sandy beach, no Patrick Chirac in swimming trunks. No karaoke evenings either.

The animations are limited to campfires or legends and history of the forest. Sometimes children are taken for a stroll in the woods. Do not think you get bored here, even though the place is conducive to the quietude and the birds singing.

The fun doesn't stop there, climbing net, slide, basket ball and even Foot Golf. Unique! Also there is volley ball and swimming in the huge inflatable swimming pool, sounds good.

*

So sorry, no loud music or kids running wild, just 16 acres of wooded land combining the tamed areas with the untamed areas. No noisy roads, occasionally stags bawling in the surrounding 30 000 acres of oak forest (the largest in Western Europe I am told)

All this for on;y €9 per day low season or the rip off price of €12 .per day high season for a large pitch in the wild area.

As we have a fair number of visitors in MHs (we have a number of French guests in MHs as I write) I am aware of the facilities in motorhomes, even the odd guest who we leave to pick a pitch that suits them. Next thing is they are just popping off to the supermarket and will be back soon. I know exactly what this means (and please don't rake offence as these people are a minority) they want to tip their s**t out and have a shower and then bugger off.

This would easily be solved by demanding registration on entry and payment at the same time. As we are old fashioned and trusting we offer arrivals a cup of coffee (free) and time to settle in before registering.

Again without meaning to give offence I should like to say that 'my pride and joy' as you call it is in fact a very important part of the forest, introducing people into an environment with the least possible adverse effect on the surroundings

Yes I need income from the site, this place costs a lot of money to run. And yes visitors have to pay the princely sum of €0.25/ head / day in tourist tax. This is what keeps the aires and tourist offices open. I employ people to make sure that the site is clean and tidy, at busy times the bloc sanitaire is cleaned 5 times a day

But I do nt expect to make a huge income from the site, in fact it is 18 months since I have taken a wage. I have always wanted to have a proper camp site, it is like living the 'boys own' dream. The downside is that until I can take a living wage my wife has to keep working in the UK.

So not an ideal situation in some respects but as the newspaper article quoted me as saying 'it is all worth it when visitors say that they have had a great time here'.

By the way I didn't realise that MHs had washing machines and clothes driers fitted.

Hope you have a sense of humour, don't take my little rant to heart and I genuinely would welcome you here as a guest


----------



## campsitewriter

Kev_n_Liz said:


> You mention Municipals John, I think it's possibly the first time I've 'seen' it on here, I've only been to France twice both on bikes, but stayed on Municipals both times, do you know if there is a list available, I will go search, but thought I'd post first.


Municipal sites can be great and can also be awful. Usually few facilities other than the basics but most are well maintained


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## campsitewriter

cabby said:


> Many years ago I considered buying a municipal site , but thet were not for sale, now of course am too old. Should we resurrect the MHF buy a site and consider buying a municipal instead.Mr plodd could use it then.
> 
> cabby


Some municipals are up for sale but often the facilities are rather tired, the better ones are more likely to be offered for rent only. Beware of this as the local mayor will be your landlord and just look on you as a source of income


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## campsitewriter

gaspode said:


> Unfortunately Simon you're judging all aires on a single example.
> Just to balance the books, here's a photo of an aire (Lac de Paraloupe) that we quite like, not the best but one of the good ones. As with campsites there are the good, the bad and the downright lousy - I'm sure you know all about those.
> 
> BTW: I can't recall the exact cost of that aire but it was somewhere in the region of €10 including hook-up, water and WC/shower.
> Could you compete?


That's a hell of a big swimming pool there

As I mentioned a week ago, nothing gets you chaps going like criticising aires or electric hookups with the wrong polarity

I try and write a funny story and get the odd response (thank you respondees). Slag an aire and the G & T crashes to the floor as 'angry of Basingstoke' thumps out an ardent defense of aires/correct polarity

Come on lads, you are too easy to wind up

I should write 'don't ever stay on a French camp site, the aires are free, the showers spotless and the pool cleaned twice a day in the winter and every five minutes in the summer. The bar will be cheap and the helpful French attendant will provide fresh bread at cost price by 7.30am. Should you be short a bit of kit or need help with a repair (or even the free loan of a car, emergencies only) just ask. Should someone fall ill and need hospital treatment in the middle of the night, the helpful aire attendant will spring into action. Forgotten your bug repellent, the HFAA (helpful French aire attendant) will lend you his personal spray. Don't for goodness sake run out of underwear (yes the HFAA will lend you his own with authentic Gallic staining)


----------



## campsitewriter

pippin said:


> Sadly it seems that the majority of Municipals are being sold off by the, er, Municipalities.
> 
> Presumably to raise cash.
> 
> Even more sadly the new commercial owners then bump up the prices, lower the standards and fill them with "statics" to make even more money.
> 
> I have seen enough of the serried ranks of so-called "mobile-homes" aka "statics") here on the coast of Wales (where I live) to want to avoid such sites like the plague.


Please come and visit me one day. I totally agree with you re statics. I have a few here but away from the main camping areas AND they have to fit in.

By this I mean no fenced in gardens with 'Dunroaming' signs outside, a horrible little England affection.

Here we blend with nature as much as possible whilst trying to give people a comfortable stay. We do walks through the forest (free) we even give talks on the local flora and fauna if requested. We are famous for the variety of mushrooms found on site (advice is given as which are edible)

Maybe I should rename this a 'nature site where campers can stay'. Only trouble is that a load of nudists will turn up and scare Elisabeth and Ibele to death. Hmmm on second thoughts.........


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## dghr272

campsitewriter said:


> You seem like a sound chap


Oih, Simon, don't tell my Fruitcake friends as they think I'm nuts, just like them.

When does your site close ?

Terry


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## campsitewriter

campsitewriter said:


> Please come and visit me one day. I totally agree with you re statics. I have a few here but away from the main camping areas AND they have to fit in.
> 
> By this I mean no fenced in gardens with 'Dunroaming' signs outside, a horrible little England affection.
> 
> Here we blend with nature as much as possible whilst trying to give people a comfortable stay. We do walks through the forest (free) we even give talks on the local flora and fauna if requested. We are famous for the variety of mushrooms found on site (advice is given as which are edible)
> 
> Maybe I should rename this a 'nature site where campers can stay'. Only trouble is that a load of nudists will turn up and scare Elisabeth and Ibele to death. Hmmm on second thoughts.........


Sorry got to go to bed now. I was up early cutting back any branches on the roads leading to the camp site (have to do this covertly as it is illegal to cut ONF (Forestry commission) trees back. But hey anything for caravan and MH owners


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## campsitewriter

dghr272 said:


> Oih, Simon, don't tell my Fruitcake friends as they think I'm nuts, just like them.
> 
> When does your site close ?
> 
> Terry


We have two closing dates. The first is if we hear Fruitcakes are approaching in which case we turn the lights off and hide behind the sofa

The second and more usual date is the end of the second week in October (this year the 16th). BUT if you are passing by a few days after that let me know and we will stay open for you


----------



## gaspode

campsitewriter said:


> That's a hell of a big swimming pool there
> 
> As I mentioned a week ago, nothing gets you chaps going like criticising aires or electric hookups with the wrong polarity
> 
> I try and write a funny story and get the odd response (thank you respondees). Slag an aire and the G & T crashes to the floor as 'angry of Basingstoke' thumps out an ardent defense of aires/correct polarity
> 
> Come on lads, you are too easy to wind up
> 
> I should write 'don't ever stay on a French camp site, the aires are free, the showers spotless and the pool cleaned twice a day in the winter and every five minutes in the summer. The bar will be cheap and the helpful French attendant will provide fresh bread at cost price by 7.30am. Should you be short a bit of kit or need help with a repair (or even the free loan of a car, emergencies only) just ask. Should someone fall ill and need hospital treatment in the middle of the night, the helpful aire attendant will spring into action. Forgotten your bug repellent, the HFAA (helpful French aire attendant) will lend you his personal spray. Don't for goodness sake run out of underwear (yes the HFAA will lend you his own with authentic Gallic staining)


Oh dear Simon, I do believe you're jealous of that big swimming pool? :grin2::grin2::grin2:

PS: I should add that the aire in question was in fact a municipal site that proved uneconomic - so they turned it into an aire which seems to now be very popular.


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## dghr272

campsitewriter said:


> We have two closing dates. The first is if we hear Fruitcakes are approaching in which case we turn the lights off and hide behind the sofa
> 
> The second and more usual date is the end of the second week in October (this year the 16th). BUT if you are passing by a few days after that let me know and we will stay open for you


We head back from Spain early October therefore a slight detour could be possible, if only to see those strange dutchies, all those we have ever come across are really lovely.

Budgie smugglers permitted as SWMBO won't tolerate me going wrinkly crinkly. :surprise:

Terry


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## campsitewriter

gaspode said:


> Unfortunately Simon you're judging all aires on a single example.
> Just to balance the books, here's a photo of an aire (Lac de Paraloupe) that we quite like, not the best but one of the good ones. As with campsites there are the good, the bad and the downright lousy - I'm sure you know all about those.
> 
> BTW: I can't recall the exact cost of that aire but it was somewhere in the region of €10 including hook-up, water and WC/shower.
> Could you compete?


No

but I can offer a load of other stuff

Please can members give me an honest guide to the cost of staying on aires

If I can compete (within a euro or so) would members stay here

In return I would only ask for one thing. If for instance I said MHF members can stay here in high season for say €11 or 12 inc electric (and use all facilities, poo,l bar, laundry, free bbq loan, bread delivery, coffee on arrival, free glass of beer/wine for all members of the party, camp tours (woods walk, mushrooming guide etc) would you come and stay. If you agree this site is a better stopover than an aire you then pay me the extra that you think I am worth over and above the aire price.

Now is that a fair offer or what (please remember that my pitches go from 100 m2 to 300m2 and I have 16 acres for you to roam)

Mind you the last camper who complained left with two acres (get it)


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## campsitewriter

gaspode said:


> Oh dear Simon, I do believe you're jealous of that big swimming pool? :grin2::grin2::grin2:
> 
> PS: I should add that the aire in question was in fact a municipal site that proved uneconomic - so they turned it into an aire which seems to now be very popular.


Always envious of a big 'un

Mine is a good size but I can't compete with that


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## campsitewriter

dghr272 said:


> We head back from Spain early October therefore a slight detour could be possible, if only to see those strange dutchies, all those we have ever come across are really lovely.
> 
> Budgie smugglers permitted as SWMBO won't tolerate me going wrinkly crinkly. :surprise:
> 
> Terry


Would love to meet you

I have to be honest about the Dutchies (did anyone see the Hotel Inspector tonight, there are serious similarities between the aged hoteliers and the Dutchies).

In their defense I must relate the following tale

On Monday this week I announced my intention of driving 200 km (each way) to covertly visit a very successful camp site in Correze the next day

Tuesday arrived and I went to bid the Dutchies farewell. They insisted that I take their newly purchased car as it would have air con (and power windows/steering/cd player and quite frankly just power). Elisabeth had made me a packed lunch and Ibele had printed off driving directions in case my sat nav exploded in the heat.

So they are really lovely and treat me like a slightly simple child but they mean well.

Unfortunately they are firmly rooted in 1967 and think that Fawlty Towers is a guide to hotel management

Shiuld you be kind enough to visit you will soon see what I mean


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## MEES

Would really love to!
Trying to plNt in to our trip.
If not this year - next.
Good luck
Margaret


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## gaspode

campsitewriter said:


> Please can members give me an honest guide to the cost of staying on aires
> 
> If I can compete (within a euro or so) would members stay here


It's not quite that easy Simon.

The cost of staying on aires is variable. The cheapest ones are free with free fresh water, several I know of have free hook-up as well (usually 2 amp). These free aires are often quite pleasant in small villages but usually off the beaten track.
At the other end of the spectrum is Brugge. That was €25 (inclusive) in high season last time I visited. It is however very pleasant and within easy walking distance of the centre of Brugge. It is usually well populated or full.

In general the cost of aires ranges from €5 to €10 a night with often €2 extra for 100l of fresh water or 1hr of hook-up. Waste disposal is always free. Pitch size varies from minute to what would be acceptable on a campsite, there is no standard size.

One of the most popular aires in Northern France is Honfleur at €10 including water and hook-up. TBH it's a bit of a scruffy dump, it holds about 200+ vans, is on tarmac surrounded by acres of knotweed next to the river and gets very crowded. In high season vans are packed in 2m or less apart. So why is it so popular? Simple, it's within 200m of a charming and popular little town with dozens of eating establishments surrounding a pretty harbor with lots of interesting shops and attractions. M/H users do not have a car to get around the local area and an aire in a good location where everything is within a few minutes stroll will always be popular regardless of its intrinsic beauty or cost.

Your problem (as far as M/Hs are concerned) is that you're off the beaten track and not close to any known tourist attraction, major transit route or popular "destination" so I doubt you would attract many motorhomers even if you offer bargain prices with added value. Your prices sound very reasonable as they are so that definitely isn't the problem. Contrary to popular belief most motorhomers aren't tight as ducks posteriors, they just want to stay somewhere convenient. I don't think you're doing anything wrong, it's your location that's the problem. Unless you can somehow create a "destination" close to your site (or move it closer to the autoroute) I don't think you'll attract very many motorhomers. We went through the motions of trying to find a French campsite worth buying a few years ago and failed to find any that were anywhere near to being a viable proposition, they were all run down, miles from anywhere, without obvious development potential and bl**dy expensive so you have my sympathy.
I had every intention of paying you a visit last month (even if it did mean a wide detour from our usual route) but unfortunately our trip was cut short due to illness. Maybe September?


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## emjaiuk

Gaspode has got it exactly right from my experience. Whilst I find your experiences of a life of leisure in rural France highly entertaining, and would hate to lose them, I think Motorhome owners are not your target market. I'm sure that if you inflicted your unique postings on caravaning and/or camping forums you would get a much more positive response with regard to actual visits. I'm not sure if it is significant, but I seem to recollect that a fairly high number of the smaller French campsites advertising in the Caravan Club magazine state that the owners are members of the Caravan Club. Membership would give you access to their forum.

Another option would be 'íf you can't beat them. join them'. If space permits, set aside an area, preferably accessible OTHER than by the main campsite entrance, as a motorhome aire. That's fairly common in France, and you could always charge extra to use campsite facilities.

Like many others, we will certainly pay you a visit if we are in the area, but when in France, we don't usually know where we will be staying until we get there. That to us is the essence of Motorhoming.

Malcolm


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## cabby

Now that is what I call a damm good idea.:wink2::wink2:

cabby


----------



## MEES

Also if you set up a small Aire set up with minimal facilities you might generate a small income at no extra expense over the off season.


----------



## dghr272

But set up an electric fence  to dissuade the freeloader MH types from sneaking in to use the full facilities without paying, they do exist, I watched two recent Brit arrivals at the Aire in Neris les Bains do so when the adjacent site office closed !

Terry


----------



## 113016

dghr272 said:


> But set up an electric fence  to dissuade the freeloader MH types from sneaking in to use the full facilities without paying, they do exist, I watched two recent Brit arrivals at the Aire in Neris les Bains do so when the adjacent site office closed !
> 
> Terry


Hey Terry, I agree with your point, but we must not forget, the French are Masters at this. They also frequently stand with water containers 
in the ready, while a paying m/h owner is filling up!:surprise:


----------



## dghr272

Grath said:


> Hey Terry, I agree with your point, but we must not forget, the French are Masters at this. They also frequently stand with water containers
> in the ready, while a paying m/h owner is filling up!:surprise:


Very true, but then again as they are bloody foreigners it's to be expected :surprise:

Us Brits should know better, fair play and all that old boy :wink2:>


----------



## aldra

I've noted them arriving late on Aires and leaving early 

Without paying

I guess being French they know the collection times on the Aires 

I'm sure it isn't only the French but whoever it is it's so wrong 

We've been known to post the fee into the Marie when we leave, a seviceis worth paying for

Sandra


----------



## Pudsey_Bear

I seem to have a lot to learn re Aire etiquette, if I arrived late and left early (which we often do when wild camping) would I then be a freeloader.

I could do with a link to somewhere which tells me the score (in plain English) on such things as we will be clueless over there.


----------



## 113016

Kev_n_Liz said:


> I seem to have a lot to learn re Aire etiquette, if I arrived late and left early (which we often do when wild camping) would I then be a freeloader.
> 
> I could do with a link to somewhere which tells me the score (in plain English) on such things as we will be clueless over there.


Kev, on the good Aire's, if you arrive late, or even at mid afternoon, they can be full!
On some of the really good aires, we try to arrive well before lunch!


----------



## eurajohn

Kev the comments ref freeloaders.
Dependant on the aire there will be various ways to pay, if the particular one chosen chooses to charge, many don't.
Increasingly automatic card controlled barriers are being installed at the popular ones, so no chance of beating those.
Many of the older style of aire will utilise a local person, sometimes the local police will collect the fee, this will often be done at a particular time either in the morning or the evening, sometimes both. These are the ones that people will try to defeat by timing their arrival or departure carefully.
.


----------



## 113016

One important thing.
You will hear, or read, that you can't put table and chairs out!
Just watch and do as the French do. In reality, on most large aires, or aire's which have some grass, or plenty of space between vans, it is never a problem, unless of course, there are signs stating not to do so.
On the smaller aires, where the next van is just a couple of feet away, you must use your discretion, even here, sometimes it is possible, maybe at the front or rear of your van.
There are aire's and aire's, and we would only use an aire where it is not possible if we were transiting and just stopping for the night, or on a town aire!
Some of the best aires are free, and are provided so you can visit the location, and put a little back into the local economy. (shops etc)
Then you have Stelplats in Germany, these are the same as the French aire's,but often have better facilities. Many of these will have electricity for a couple Euro. 
One point, particularly in France, always disinfect any drinking water tap you use, as the French are notorious for shoving the cassette around the tap!:surprise::frown2:
Just get yourself over there, and you WILL find it so very easy, after wilding here in the UK

http://www.campercontact.com/en/

http://www.vicariousbooks.co.uk


----------



## aldra

You will love it Kev

It's really quite easy 

Aries can be crowded , at Annecy an aire for 5, 10 ended up there, mostly French , prob except for us all French 

But not to worry, someone took control 

"You not leaving today? "

Great then they can park across you 

When those leaving leave, let's all change places ready for the next excess vans to arrive 

Just go with the flow 

Easy like Sunday morning :grin2:

Sandra:smile2:


----------



## 113016

aldra said:


> You will love it Kev
> 
> It's really quite easy
> 
> Aries can be crowded , at Annecy an aire for 5, 10 ended up there, mostly French , prob except for us all French
> 
> But not to worry, someone took control
> 
> "You not leaving today? "
> 
> Great then they can park across you
> 
> When those leaving leave, let's all change places ready for the next excess vans to arrive
> 
> Just go with the flow
> 
> Easy like Sunday morning :grin2:
> 
> Sandra:smile2:


To be honest Sandra, we found it too busy and no view, so we moved on. I suppose it depends on when you get there
We much preferred Aix les Bains


----------



## dghr272

Stocking up on various Jetons is a good idea for use in the various service pillars.

Bought in the local tourist information office, a local shop, the Marie's office or the associated campsite reception. We haven't mastered that yet so tips would be handy.

Terry


----------



## 113016

dghr272 said:


> Stocking up on various Jetons is a good idea for use in the various service pillars.
> 
> Bought in the local tourist information office, a local shop, the Marie's office or the associated campsite reception. We haven't mastered that yet so tips would be handy.
> 
> Terry


Cant help Terry, as we have never used Jetons:grin2:


----------



## aldra

Oops
This thread seems to have gone off topic

Well campsite writer 

I want to come , not to an aire but to your campsite, your prices are already low, so ignore the cheapskates on here 

Yes who on earth would want a cheaper price? 

We need to pay for the facility's offered, great if you don't want them don't

But I would happily pay for a quiet place set in a forest, peaceful near nowhere
I can get near towns at other times

Now do you walk hounds from hell ??

Can you fight him off when all 81/2 stone of him decides he loves you and needs to be close 

I think your site sounds great

And yes caravans could well be ideal, they have cars to get around 

I'm really hoping for your success

Sandra


----------



## 113016

aldra said:


> Oops
> This thread seems to have gone off topic
> 
> Well campsite writer
> 
> I want to come , not to an aire but to your campsite, your prices are already low, so ignore the cheapskates on here
> 
> Yes who on earth would want a cheaper price?
> 
> We need to pay for the facility's offered, great if you don't want them don't
> 
> But I would happily pay for a quiet place set in a forest, peaceful near nowhere
> I can get near towns at other times
> 
> Now do you walk hounds from hell ??
> 
> Can you fight him off when all 81/2 stone of him decides he loves you and needs to be close
> 
> I think your site sounds great
> 
> And yes caravans could well be ideal, they have cars to get around
> 
> I'm really hoping for your success
> 
> Sandra


Should be OK Sandra, as Campsitewritter did also ask about aire's, therefore, he will get the information as well as Kev.


----------



## aldra

Grath said:


> To be honest Sandra, we found it too busy and no view, so we moved on. I suppose it depends on when you get there
> We much preferred Aix les Bains


Yes but we were unconcerned about the view ,

We didn't have one anyway

The bike ride to the town , the park next to it for the hound

The ride around the lake

Great

And there was a little campsite? A bit further down

Sandra


----------



## Pudsey_Bear

All in good time, I'm not going over in a van which hasn't had a damned good shakedown round Scotland for a month or so.


----------



## cabby

Beware the seals.>> 

cabby


----------



## dghr272

Grath said:


> Cant help Terry, as we have never used Jetons:grin2:


Ah, you wear a beret and striped top :wink2::grin2:

Terry


----------



## Robin McHood

campsitewriter said:


> Looking forward to meeting you, will you require grazing for the sheep?


Fortunately not, they were last seen heading over the moors bleating something about Sheepxit which I didn't fully understand:smile2:


----------



## 113016

dghr272 said:


> Ah, you wear a beret and striped top :wink2::grin2:
> 
> Terry


Not really, maybe a Tilly:wink2:
But to be honest, we do know lots of aires, where it is free or included in the aire price. We do tend to top up daily with a watering can, therefore trundling off to the Marie or the Tabac for a Jeton is not really at the top of our list of daily must do's


----------



## nicholsong

BREAKING NEWS 

From your roving MHF Reporter.

Making a leisurely passage across country from the Aire at Sancoins to one at Felletin your driver was alerted by the Village sign for Braise. No sooner had the words 'This is where Simon has his campsite' been uttered than a prominent advert appeared for Camping Champ de la Chapelle and after 300m we took the instructed Left and followed it for sone 2-3km, constantly being assured by discrete signs that we were following the right route.

On arrival we found Elisabet (Dutchy) at the Cafe/Bar who directed us to Simon, who provided coffee by his own hand followed by a Tour.

The site is large and just as he describes it. There are no designated pitches as such but there are some areas where there is water and electricity and some without. There are plenty of shaded areas. The swimming pool (1.2 m depth) and the Bar are away from the pitches area so noise is not a problem.

The site is generally on a slope and only on parts would a MH achieve level with blocks without additional packing. Simon discussed a plan to bring in a digger for more levelling of some areas.

Water points are plentiful and there is a cassette discharge point at the rear of the shower/toilet block. At present there is no waste-water discharge grid and we discussed this and he took on the idea of providing one and a tap near the cassette point to make a one-stop Service Point.

Bread etc. can be ordered for delivery next morning. To avoid treks to shops a MHomer would be well-advised to arrive with provisions for the duration of a stay.

Overall there is a very relaxed atmosphere and one can park in secluded spots. There is a mixture of tents and caravans but few MHs at the time of our visit which was midday. Lots of chance for walking and cycling, swimming in the pool, relaxing at the adjacent bar and generally chilling out.

Readers of this thread will have read of work to clear up some rubbish areas - this has been completed except for some old units parked at the back of the site but basically unseen without being pointed out.

In general a charming and relaxed site, with maybe improved facilities to come for MHomers in the near future.

Oh, and Simon is very friendly and chatty - with a desire to please the customer - CC note.:wink2:

If you are near give the place a try.

GN


----------



## JanHank

Well done Kapitän.

I have a question for your host.

Hi Simon, 
Please tell me, where does the stuff thats deposited into the Cassette discharge point go? Into the main sewer or to a specially _*designated*_ sewer :laugh:?

Jan
PS Hows ya back doing?


----------



## pippin

Perhaps he doesn't give a sh1t where it goes!!!


----------



## JanHank

pippin said:


> Perhaps he doesn't give a sh1t where it goes!!!


Well its like this Pip old chap, I am going to get to the bottom of this if its the last thing I do.:grin2:


----------



## pippin

Irish accent:- "This is the *third* post on this"


----------



## JanHank

pippin said:


> Irish accent:- "This is the *third* post on this"


No old chap, mine was the tird yours the forth and this is the fifth, I hope to goodness Simon answers me soon or we could get bogged under.


----------



## pippin

We must stop stooling fooling around.


----------



## aldra

Sounds just about perfect to me

Sandra


----------



## Pudsey_Bear

You lot talk crap


----------



## Sprinta

With friends like these who needs enemas.


----------



## Pudsey_Bear

Sprinta said:


> With friends like these who needs enemas.


Nowt wrong with a good enema > >


----------



## JanHank

I´ve found out what I wanted to know, I was right, they were wrong, talking out of the wrong part of their body as men often do. 
Jan was right they were left feeling silly I bet.


----------



## barryd

Blimey Simon! I see you have attracted your first Fruitcake in Captain Over (Nicholsong) and the lovely Basia. Fortunately for you he is one of the more civilised ones. 

As said before your prices are fine and certainly on par with the more costly Aires and I would certainly call in. I like the fact its off the beaten track but we have a scooter so it suits us fine.

As for aires being crowded. Here are a few I picked at Random. Kev your as likely to breakdown in Scotland as you are France but the AA do cover both. 

These were all free apart from the second from last and the first one is Gavarnie which is free out of the main summer season


----------



## pippin

Kev_n_Liz said:


> Nowt wrong with a good enema > >


Do you prefer Picolax® or Moviprep®?

Perhaps colonic irrigation?

Gives added meaning to "_vidange_"

ottytrain5::wickedfart:


----------



## Pudsey_Bear

Coffee, a pipe and a funnel, why fart about


----------



## Pudsey_Bear

barryd said:


> EDITED Kev your as likely to breakdown in Scotland as you are France but the AA do cover both.


This is very true, but Scotland is a lot nearer, I can speak to them in my own language, and perhaps get a quick fix, across the channel they speak foreign & I don't, and not in the AA, I'm with Britannia Rescue, dunno how good they are over there.


----------



## pippin

Kev_n_Liz said:


> I'm with Britannia Rescue, dunno how good they are over there.


Why not fake a breakdown, call them out - that way you will find out!


----------



## Pudsey_Bear

pippin said:


> Why not fake a breakdown, call them out - that way you will find out!


I'm not going all the way to le continont just to do that :roll: I know they recover from Moffat as they have done, also Kilmarnock.


----------



## barryd

I suspect they will just use a French partner Kev. They do have proper mechanics in France you will be surprised to know just like in the UK.


----------



## Pudsey_Bear

barryd said:


> I suspect they will just use a French partner Kev. They do have proper mechanics in France you will be surprised to know just like in the UK.


I assumed as much.


----------



## Landyman

Just spent a very pleasant four days on Simon's (Campsitewriter) site, Camping de La Chapelle.

Simon is a great host and as you might expect full of amusing stories. 
The site must be the most peaceful we have ever stayed on as there is absolutely no traffic noise, a *very* occasional aircraft and the loudest noise is the stags roaring in the forest as the rutting season gets under way.

Not quite as cheap as a free aire but at €13 per night it won't break the bank.

Highly recommended for a few days relaxation.

Richard.
PS. This site really is crap, can get on from my laptop when I can find wi-fi but trying from the mobile is a complete waste of time. I just can't log on as it keeps telling me the password is wrong. Grrrrr!


----------



## Pudsey_Bear

You mean MHF of course, not the camp site.


----------



## GMJ

If we get the chance we'll certainly look to support a fellow MHF'er...but we do know a fantastic site near Limoges though so may not be able to do both...

Graham :smile2:


----------



## barryd

Glad to see a few are going to Simons site. He has put a lot of time and effort into entertaining us on here. Its a pity we cannot have more "trade" members like him.


----------



## MEES

Happy to see someone has visited would love to go myself


----------



## cabby

Judging from past years, the way we treated some of the trades it was no wonder they went elsewhere. I have not seen our friend from Premier on here either for some time.

cabby


----------



## ChrisandJohn

Simon's site was one of the places we thought of calling into on our way to Provence in April. It didn't happen though as when we were about to leave a campsite about an hour or so South of Orleans I fell and broke my wrist. An ambulance took me to the hospital at Romorantin and after an operation and an overnight stay I was discharged to the local campsite. We then spent the next 11 nights there, returning every three days to the hospital for a dressing change, and then headed for home. Maybe next time, Simon.

Here's a somewhat longer version:

http://forums.motorhomefacts.com/130-france-touring/183290-our-holiday-disasters-no-1-wrist.html

Chris


----------



## JanHank

Richard I´m pleased to hear you visited Simon, he sounds a lovely man on the forum, its nice to have it confirmed *`you really are a lovely man Simon.´ :grin2:*


----------



## Landyman

Kev_n_Liz said:


> You mean MHF of course, not the camp site.


Err, yes.
Sorry, that was a bit ambiguous wasn't it.

This site, MHF, really seems to have gone to the dogs in the last year or so.
Such a shame as there are some great characters on here but I just don't bother to come on here very often now.
When my subs expire I probably shan't bother to renew and I know I would miss the other members but, of course, there are other forums with similar names that seem to work so much better.

Richard.


----------



## Landyman

barryd said:


> Glad to see a few are going to Simons site. He has put a lot of time and effort into entertaining us on here. Its a pity we cannot have more "trade" members like him.


Simon is working hard to build up and improve the site and deserves maximum support.
He is very willing to listen to ideas and really wants to please his guests. He also cooks a mean burger and frites. :grin2:

Give him a try, you might even enjoy the experience.

Richard.


----------



## cabby

Hi landyman. if you watch you will see that the site is starting to slowly swing back towards it's previous status,more new members are arriving and we are now getting more and more requests for help and information. May I suggest you renew for one more year and judge for yourself. Plus we could do with your input as well.

cabby


----------



## barryd

Yep. Cabby is right for a change Richard  you should stick with it. I for one miss your input. You know what I think about campsites but Ill definately be stopping over at Simons place at some point in the future. Sounds good.


----------



## Pudsey_Bear

Landyman said:


> Err, yes.
> Sorry, that was a bit ambiguous wasn't it.
> 
> This site, MHF, really seems to have gone to the dogs in the last year or so.
> Such a shame as there are some great characters on here but I just don't bother to come on here very often now.
> When my subs expire I probably shan't bother to renew and I know I would miss the other members but, of course, there are other forums with similar names that seem to work so much better.
> 
> Richard.


You're leaving will not make it better, and it's not like the subs will exactly cause hardship, I fully understand the frustration of some members with the sites performance recently and it's loss of members, but we are attracting new members and some oldies are popping up too, so it might be worth hanging around, why not invest a little time and effort over the next year pop in with the odd post or three and see what happens.


----------



## Landyman

Well thank you, Cabby, Barry and Kev.

I actually feel quite touched that I might be missed if I leave. 
On the other hand you lot might be on commission from the new site owners to keep the number of members up. :surprise::wink2:

It is really the mechanics of the site that drive me mad, compared to other forums it is antiquated and frustrating to use. That doesn't encourage people to spend time on it.
If it wasn't for you the long term members on here I would have left ages ago.

I'll stick around for a while and see how it goes.

Richard.


----------



## nicholsong

Richard

I agree with Barry, Cabby and Kev about there having been some improvement recently, including swifter and more positive responses from Admin.

Please stick around a bit longer Richard - we need people who can understand aviation references from time to time:wink2::smile2:

Geoff

P.S.Re connecting to MHF via mobile have you tried tethering and using the laptop? That uses the normal access instead of the mobile version. Bit more expensive but it is a workaround if needed.


----------



## Pudsey_Bear

Glad to have you hang around  :


----------



## Landyman

nicholsong said:


> Richard
> 
> I agree with Barry, Cabby and Kev about there having been some improvement recently, including swifter and more positive responses from Admin.
> 
> Please stick around a bit longer Richard - we need people who can understand aviation references from time to time:wink2::smile2:
> 
> Geoff
> 
> P*.S.Re connecting to MHF via mobile have you tried tethering and using the laptop? That uses the normal access instead of the mobile version. Bit more expensive but it is a workaround if needed.*


*
*

Thanks Geoff

Tethering is OK in the UK but on my '3' package it's not allowed in Europe. As soon as you try to tether you get a snotty message from '3' to say "it is verboten'.

Think I will investigate a MiFi thingy when we get back to the UK so that we can tether when in France. There seems to be a decent 3g signal just about everywhere in France.

Richard.


----------



## JanHank

Landyman said:


> [/B]
> 
> Thanks Geoff
> 
> Tethering is OK in the UK but on my '3' package it's not allowed in Europe. As soon as you try to tether you get a snotty message from '3' to say "it is verboten'.
> 
> Think I will investigate a MiFi thingy when we get back to the UK so that we can tether when in France. There seems to be a decent 3g signal just about everywhere in France.
> 
> Richard.


Pleased to hear a fellow county member is staying after all, we must stick together us suffolk folks, me and tugboat have been holding each other up for sometime. :laugh:
Jan


----------



## nicholsong

Landyman said:


> [/B]
> 
> Thanks Geoff
> 
> Tethering is OK in the UK but on my '3' package it's not allowed in Europe. As soon as you try to tether you get a snotty message from '3' to say "it is verboten'.
> 
> Think I will investigate a MiFi thingy when we get back to the UK so that we can tether when in France. There seems to be a decent 3g signal just about everywhere in France.
> 
> Richard.


Richard

The more I hear about others problems with connectivity and cost the more I realise how good is our Polish mobile contract: £25pm for unlimited calls to landlines and mobiles and 3Gb data a month from/to anywhere within EU, plus we can tether, so I never use the mobile screen and Basia can make phone calls while I am tethered on the laptop. I would now hate to be without our system when away. On our previous contract we were spending more than that on phone calls alone when away for a month. Also we got a good deal on a Samsung Galaxy S5 with 5" screen, which we also use as a satnav.

Why can't the British get deals like this? After all it is an International market. Our contract is with T-mobile.

Great post about your stay at Simon's site - he really is a nice guy. He spent a lot of time showing us around, and seemed to take on board suggestions about what MHomers look for. Did you get a level pitch e.g. near the office, or did you use blocks?

Geoff


----------



## Landyman

We had a pitch just in the edge of the trees but looking out to a nice open area. Lots of lovely cool shade from the trees and enough open space to be able to get some solar and a satellite signal.
Pitch was a bit wonky but no problem as we now have E&P jacks fitted. :grin2:

Richard.


----------



## Sprinta

I'm sat in a motorway stop tethered to my iPhone on 3. But as it isn't possible in Europe I'd be able to use my iphone6s+ as it's got a large enough screen.


----------



## Landyman

Sprinta said:


> I'm sat in a motorway stop tethered to my iPhone on 3. But as it isn't possible in Europe I'd be able to use my iphone6s+ as it's got a large enough screen.


Hmm! Yours is bigger than mine! 

I've only got a 6S so might end up feeling inadequate.:crying:
But it's not the size that is the problem, it's the mobile site that won't let me in and seems to be a mess.

Could just be me of course.


----------



## Sprinta

I'm again tethered in a CC site in the Lake District having just logged on via the iPhone. 

Got to agree with you totally, the mobile site is a complete 'mare to access. I'm now back on tether. 

'Er indoors says I should always be tethered - should I be worried?


----------



## aldra

:wink2:Naw she's right 
:grin2:
In my opinion you should all be tethered :grin2:

Sandra


----------



## campsitewriter1

nicholsong said:


> Richard
> 
> The more I hear about others problems with connectivity and cost the more I realise how good is our Polish mobile contract: £25pm for unlimited calls to landlines and mobiles and 3Gb data a month from/to anywhere within EU, plus we can tether, so I never use the mobile screen and Basia can make phone calls while I am tethered on the laptop. I would now hate to be without our system when away. On our previous contract we were spending more than that on phone calls alone when away for a month. Also we got a good deal on a Samsung Galaxy S5 with 5" screen, which we also use as a satnav.
> 
> Why can't the British get deals like this? After all it is an International market. Our contract is with T-mobile.
> 
> Great post about your stay at Simon's site - he really is a nice guy. He spent a lot of time showing us around, and seemed to take on board suggestions about what MHomers look for. Did you get a level pitch e.g. near the office, or did you use blocks?
> Geoff


Hi Simon to Earth, is there any intelligent life out there or have I contacted MHF again?


----------



## campsitewriter1

aldra said:


> :wink2:Naw she's right
> :grin2:
> In my opinion you should all be tethered :grin2:
> 
> Sandra


Hello everybody, I think that I have been allowed to post again. I shall hit the 'Submit Repy' button and see what happens!


----------



## campsitewriter1

aldra said:


> :wink2:Naw she's right
> :grin2:
> In my opinion you should all be tethered :grin2:
> 
> Sandra


Well possibly I have now become untethered


----------



## campsitewriter1

aldra said:


> :wink2:Naw she's right
> :grin2:
> In my opinion you should all be tethered :grin2:
> 
> Sandra


Hi, I am trying to post


----------



## JanHank

campsitewriter1 said:


> Hi Simon to Earth, is there any intelligent life out there or have I contacted MHF again?


I had an email prompt for this post this morning ??????? 15 months late:frown2:
Plus 3 more from 2016


----------



## jiwawa

Er, it was posted in 2017 Jan, so only 3 months late. Be fair!! 

Funny, I was just thinking about campsitewriter the other day n trying to remember where his site was. Sadly not on my way this month. 

Hope he's still able to get on here.


----------



## JanHank

jiwawa said:


> Er, it was posted in 2017 Jan, so only 3 months late. Be fair!!
> 
> Funny, I was just thinking about campsitewriter the other day n trying to remember where his site was. Sadly not on my way this month.
> 
> Hope he's still able to get on here.


_*What about this one Jean*_

http://forums.motorhomefacts.com/26-off-topic/190433-cautionary-tale-new-post.html

The message on my email isn´t where the link takes me !!!

Dear JanHank,

Mrplodd has just replied to a thread you have subscribed to entitled - A cautionary tale - in the Off Topic forum of Motorhome Forums, Motorhome Discussion, Motorhome Chat.

This thread is located at:
http://forums.motorhomefacts.com/26-off-topic/190433-cautionary-tale-new-post.html

Here is the message that has just been posted:
***************
30 mph is approx 45 feet or 14 metres PER SECOND, the forces involved in a collision are immense.

We once had a seatbelt simulator built on a trailer we took to Fetes etc. Terminal velocity was 5mph, there was always the smart arse who reckoned seat belts were a waste of time so I would have a bet with them. I gave them a medicine ball and agreed if they could keep hold of it I would give them a tenner out of my own pocket, if they COULDNT keep hold of it they had to put £1 in the Police Benevolent Fund box. Never ever had to pay out!!

In my later career I was involved in the forensic investigation and reconstruction of serious collisions, fascinating (and highly complex!) subject and I was always astounded at the colosal forces involved in relatively low speed impacts, when speed increased the forces went stratospheric!!

One of my major concerns these days is the number of dogs I see unrestrained in cars, in the event of a 30 mph impact a small pooch takes on the equivalent weight of a small horse!! Imagine that smacking you in the back of the head!! That's why rear seat belts became compulsorary, many seat belt wearing front seat occupants were being killed in crashes by unrestrained rear seat passengers!!

Don't start me on umberella's kept on rear parcel shelves, lethal javelins in a collision. How many on here have items on their cars rear parcel shelf??? What will THEY do to you in a collision??

Andy


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## aldra

Not quite sure why you posted that Jan

I think we would all know Andys views on restraint in a car 

Same as mine , Id never travel with shadow unrestrained by a correct harness, apart from the fact that an unrestrained dog running in terror along the motorway or any road following an accident is a hazard to themselves and other travellers 

Used to have a go at Tuggy in the old days about that, although Ellie travels on the passenger seat so would prob just fly through the windscreen, or be squashed flat on it 

But he won't be on his own 

But please for dogs a correct harness not a collar restraint 

Sandra


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## JanHank

aldra said:


> Not quite sure why you posted that Jan
> 
> I think we would all know Andys views on restraint in a car
> 
> Same as mine , Id never travel with shadow unrestrained by a correct harness, apart from the fact that an unrestrained dog running in terror along the motorway or any road following an accident is a hazard to themselves and other travellers
> 
> Used to have a go at Tuggy in the old days about that, although Ellie travels on the passenger seat so would prob just fly through the windscreen, or be squashed flat on it
> 
> But he won't be on his own
> 
> But please for dogs a correct harness not a collar restraint
> 
> Sandra


I posted it because it came to me this week on an email along with a few more from last year.
I am not the only one who is getting notices for threads from over a year ago, VS is supposed to be sorting it out, well maybe they already have because I haven´t had any for a few days.


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## aldra

I'm thinking we might just call in for a week to campsitewriter

Like the idea of the forest, if joints are not good Albert Can manage walking the hound if a forest is at hand 

I'm really getting old in the joints so a quiet time that's not too boring

Maybe good

I need a level site but we've got air suspension and ramps, if we are not straight I struggle 

If I end up with a flare up , well that matters little in the motorhome or house , I cant walk 

I'm nackered 

If this holiday isn't good then it's time to sell and accept we no longer fit motor-homing

Fingers crossed it will be good if it happens 

We also need to sort it around potential cancer re occurances , scans etc 

So let's place our bets

Will we get away at the end of August ?

It's a pain trying to beat the odds 

Sandra


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## HermanHymer

Hi CSW, going to try and fit CdelaC into my tour this year (mid Sept-ish). Expecting to be heading over from Provence (maybe) to St Loup sur Thouet (near Poitiers) for a family meet up with my Australian brother and s-i-l. Looking forward to meeting you. Maybe I'll hook up with Sandra and Albert there.


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## JanHank

HermanHymer said:


> Hi CSW, going to try and fit CdelaC into my tour this year (mid Sept-ish). Expecting to be heading over from Provence (maybe) to St Loup sur Thouet (near Poitiers) for a family meet up with my Australian brother and s-i-l. Looking forward to meeting you. Maybe I'll hook up with Sandra and Albert there.


Sorry to dissapoint you Viv, but I don´t think Simon will see this, he has not been on the forum since March. This is just an example of old notification emails I had during the week.


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## HermanHymer

Thanks for the heads up Jan. Well then my arrival if it happens will be a surprise! The surprise will be mine if he's jacked in the campsite. Oh well there's another one just over the crossroads (surely!).

Perhaps I should organise a rally there and scare the hell out of him. Any takers?


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## aldra

If hes lucky

He will met us 

Or possibally the other way round 

No if he's lucky he will met Albert 

He's great, really great 

Me I'm an argumentative git 

Stir up anything 

Then collapse when people have problems, because it melts my heart with their sorrow and anxieties 

I feel it

Much like you lot felt mine when Albert was first diagnosed 

And without you idont know what I would have done

Kids and friends were too close

It seems I needed you 

Sandra


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## HermanHymer

God willing, you won't need us again. That's no reason to abscond (or plan to!) One of us might need your understanding and experience to get us through a hard time. That said, no-one has been reporting anything of this ilk lately. Hope it's because we're all 100% fit and well.


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## dghr272

Just checked out Simon's Facebook page, he's still making good improvements on his campsite.

I did comment that a few of us were wondering how he's getting on and that he may have a visitor from here, also asked if has login issues as so many here have had.

FB link below for those that are interested.

Terry

https://www.facebook.com/pg/Camping...rijk-348857895134430/posts/?ref=page_internal


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## HermanHymer

Let's hope it's because the season has started with a bang! Thanks for the feedback Terry.


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## dghr272

The life of a campsite owner. :surprise:

Pics from FB.

Terry


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## JanHank

dghr272 said:


> The life of a campsite owner. :surprise:
> 
> Pics from FB.
> 
> Terry


I don´t belong to facebook, but I have just had half an hour of looking at the pictures and read.
If you belong Terry can you tell Simon hello from me, he´s doing a good job, please. 
I do email him now and then, he´ll know who JanHank is I think.


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## dghr272

JanHank said:


> I don´t belong to facebook, but I have just had half an hour of looking at the pictures and read.
> If you belong Terry can you tell Simon hello from me, he´s doing a good job, please.
> I do email him now and then, he´ll know who JanHank is I think.


Your wish is my command......... Done. :grin2:

Terry


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## aldra

If we go I'll enjoy it

Needs to be early sept , after that I'm not going to be a member of MHF 

Tough would campsite righter really care

The hound agrees with me, he's also tired with being the MHF dog from hell

Albert is easy couldn't care either way 

The hound will continue to be a MH hound from hell, unfortunately 

But I'll be free , so sad I've come to associate MHF they way I have 

But I'll always recognise the the people who have helped me through 

I hope others will recognise the help I've given 

Sandra


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## dghr272

JanHank said:


> I don´t belong to facebook, but I have just had half an hour of looking at the pictures and read.
> If you belong Terry can you tell Simon hello from me, he´s doing a good job, please.
> I do email him now and then, he´ll know who JanHank is I think.


Jan, Frankrijk has replied to my post saying Simon is not on site at the moment but he will respond on his return.

Terry


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## GMJ

It seems that Admin has removed the offending post but also our chat this morning Jan....


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## Pudsey_Bear

I'll repost the facecloth page then, https://www.facebook.com/campinginfrankrijk/


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## JanHank

Pudsey_Bear said:


> I'll repost the facecloth page then, https://www.facebook.com/campinginfrankrijk/


No time to look at it now for obvious reasons, but will bookmark it for later. thanks Kev.


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## Pudsey_Bear

It was only up the page anyway but I know how lazy you are


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