# seizure...Fiona.. Taken by the Angels.. Anniversary time



## gdleeds

*Fiona 1953 - 2010*​
This item starts in Dec 2009 and has been updated a number of times, the latest been 03/09/2010

*A journey from a fit and healthy lady one day to diagnosed with a terminal brain tumour within a few short weeks.. our journey begins.... and ends*

Fiona Dutton Foundation

Had a bad fright this morning, Sunday... Fiona said she felt sick, so I went to the bathroom and prepared some alka seltzer, went back to the bedroom no Fiona `where she gone` then heard strange snoring sound, found her slumped off the bed on the floor, blood mixed with saliva coming from her mouth, unable to wake her
.... hell..... her breathing was more like snoring but totally out it.

999... the operator was great took me through looking after her till ambulance arrived

On way to hospital she came round, no memory of last few days, bad speech.. more hell.... then quickly improved... did all that paramedics asks, squeezed hands etc
In hospital was told not a stoke but a seizure, improved as the morning went on, discharged after 7 hours.. now devastated she must inform DVLA and will not be allowed to drive her little sports car around

God what a day, we just don't know whats round the corner, Fiona eats well, is fit as the provable butchers dog, and this happens, glad it wasn't yesterday as we had the grandchildren staying over.

regards
Graham


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## CliffyP

Hope she is on the mend asap.


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## littlenell

What a terrible shock for you. Are they planning any follow up for her.


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## carolgavin

Ooooooh what a fright you both must have had,
Hope you and Fiona are feeling a bit better now, best wishes for a speedy recovery.


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## sweetie

Wish Fiona a speedy recovery

Steve


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## talogon

you poor things, I hope fiona is alright and you also as you have had a proper fright


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## CaGreg

So sorry to hear about that terrifying experience you both had. Hope that it is something straightforward and easy to sort out.

Best wishes
Ca


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## DTPCHEMICALS

Best wishes for a speedy recovery.
Take it easy.

Regards

Dave p


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## ardgour

I know its devastating when it happens but try not to get too glum just yet. A surprising percentage of us will have a seizure at some point in our lives, many never have another one and they can be caused by all sorts of things - it is not always epilepsy. Hopefully what will happen now is that she will be seen by a neurologist who can carry out the appropriate tests to find out exactly what caused it and try to make sure it doesn't happen again.
A friend of mine had 2 seizures a couple of years ago in her early 40's. Doctors eventually blamed the menopause (typical men blaming everything on 'womens troubles') she reduced her stress levels and it has never happened again so who knows.
Hope it works out OK for you both

Chris


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## Mick757

Glad she is on the mend.
Are you sure about the not able to drive bit? As folk drive with all kinds of 'afflictions' nowadays. My uncle was rushed into hospital after collapsing with a 'heart attack'. Turned out not to be a HA - but something had stilll casued him to flake out. He was driving within days of leaving hospital.


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## gdleeds

Hi and thanks to all for the concern shown, we both feel better now, Fiona's brother is a Doctor and travelled over to us this afternoon and helped a great deal in elevating our fears.
We must see our GP and have a referral made to see a neurologist and a possible scan...
Booked for a cruise to Dubai 6th Jan so that's in the balance, also got Turkey booked with GB privilege in April...
But Fiona is tiered but feeling a lot better as the days progressed

again thanks for the concern.. it does help and means a great deal to us

Graham & Fiona


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## KeiththeBigUn

Oh my what a day indeed!

A speedy recovery. :wink: 

Keith


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## moblee

Any explanation given to the Two of you ?Hopefully it was just a one off.

Best wishes
Phil and Janet.


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## rowley

Best wishes to you both. Hope that you will be able to go on your holiday.


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## Otto-de-froste

What a horrid time you've had

Truly hope that that all is well from now on

In our thoughts and prayers

Paul


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## Penquin

This may seem like an odd question but in the hopefully unlikely event that it does happen again, do you know the basics of the recovery position and airway protection?

The recovery position is the recommended position for anyone who appears unconscious and will help to ensure a clear airway. A simple chin tilt and jaw thrust will help to avoid the tongue blocking the breathing tube.

If you are not sure, or are even just a little rusty ask any St John Ambulance Division (local phone number in phone book or go via;

http://www.sja.org.uk/sja/

and you can input your town / city and get contact details.

Similar advice can be got from the British Red Cross;

http://www.redcross.org.uk/index.asp?id=39992

alternatively ask at your local swimming pool for their life saving trainer's number or;

http://www.lifesavers.org.uk/

any first aid or lifesaving trainer should be able to run through it with you (as will the Ambulance Service if you ask at your local ambulance station - they will be able to advise you or even go through it with you). Forewarned is forearmed and you will probably never need it if you take the trouble to learn it!

Fiona's brother may also be able to arrange such a simple form of training - it does make a considerable difference!

Good luck to Fiona and you,

Dave


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## xgx

Seizures can be very distressing for all concerned... especially if it's a new experience!

Good to read that you're both recovered from what must have been a very alarming episode...


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## neilanddot

It sounds a terrifying experience, I hope Fiona's recovery goes well.
Neil and Dot


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## gdleeds

As i mentioned earlier the 999 operator was brilliant, told me exactly what to do, what position to place Fiona in, any stayed with me until the paramedics where at our side.. a big thank you to the man at the end of the phone this morning.

As regards advice on any possible future occurrence, the Doctor at the hospital was unable to help, in so far as this was a first occurrence it may never happen again, she was unable to give me guidance on the signs to look for or each case can be quite different, smell, taste, noise each can be a warning.

I must say having been married over 35 years now, it is a shock when something like this happens, a close friend of our had a bad stroke 2 years ago and has not recovered his speech and his walking is very limited, this was my buddy for over 25 years who I regularly played golf with... Seeing Tony in hospital in the sorry state made me go home and throw away all my cigarettes, I smoked for 40 years and stopped on that day and have not had a cigarette since.
That changed my outlook on life... We enjoyed every day.. we travel extensively, .. sold the business and now just enjoy life... we tell all our friends we don't know whats round the corner.... and today proves it

update Fiona is enjoying the X factor is relaxed and feels good in herself, so fingers crossed

Graham


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## Snelly

mmm, summat aint right, dont want to scare-monger, but I think id be asking about having her run through the MRI machine for peace of mind. Its strange that someone has a seizure for no apparent reason (I take it she never had one previously??).


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## suedew

What a shock for you both, hope fiona is feeling better soon and that you get the follow up you require.

Quote
Doctors eventually blamed the menopause (typical men blaming everything on 'womens troubles'

Not unusual for hormonal (both male and female) changes to be implicated where seizures are concerned.
So glad your BIL is a doctor, he will keep you on the right track regarding investigations etc.
So sorry Fiona will need to give up driving for a time, she will need to be 'fit free' for a year before she is able to drive again, providing the medics are happy. 
Sue


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## SilverF1

Graham, hope things continue well for you and particularly your wife. We hope there are no longlasting effects for her.


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## PhilK

Graham, 

I was epileptic from 17 to 24, quite badly so. I had a one off again in 2004, because of my history I couldn't drive for a year. If your wife has anotherwise clear medical history, are you sure that they want her licence surrendered?

Good luck and be strong, PM me any time you want to, and if you want a chat let me know, i will forward you my number. 

Coming to Leeds tomorrow coincidently, picking Alex up from Uni for Christmas. 

Phil and Karen


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## JockandRita

Hi Graham,

Please pass on our best wishes for Fiona's recovery.

It is probably fortunate that you weren't in foreign parts, ie touring in the MH.

As the saying goes, you never know what's round the corner.

Kindest regards,

J & R.


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## locovan

Im so pleased Fiona is on the mend --what a shock for you both but it makes you appreciate life and you realise you have to live it to the full. :lol:


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## gdleeds

driving...... when we where about to leave the hospital we where presented with a fact sheet with regards to driving when had a seizure, it states Fiona must inform DVLA as soon as possible, not to do so could be an offence with a £1000 fine, had 2 Doctors say two different things, one no driving for 6 months the other no driving for 12 months, need to have clear period before allowed back on road.

Graham


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## teemyob

*ASAP*



CliffyP said:


> Hope she is on the mend asap.


Same here, let us know how Fiona is!


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## PhilK

Graham, 

I have seen this before. Check the dvla website and take the doctors advice that suits you i say lol. 

The top medical advisor is a guy called Prof. Chadwick. I know him well, he was the specialist that i was under him for years at Walton hospital in Liverpool. When i have had varying advice in the past i have rung Swansea, taken advice of someone, keep a note of that persons name. Also, notify your insurance, but only after you have got conclusive advice.


Good luck peeps 


Phil


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## carol

What a fright you must have had this morning - it is the sort of thing I think most of us dread - and I am so pleased (only just picked up the thread) to read the later posts, that Fiona is improving.

My thoughts are with you both - and at least you did what I always tell everyone - don't wait until you retire - do it now - you never know what is around the corner..... (I have been doing this now since 1990 when we had lost 5 good friends within a four year period - aged between 38-52) it suddenly made me realise waiting to buy the motorhome, might never happen...so we did and haven't looked back - and have our memories whatever the future holds....

A speedy recovery and I trust this will have been the first and last...

Enjoy Christmas and hope you have a good trip to Dubai.

Carol


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## Invicta

*Re: seizure at 6 am this morning*



gdleeds said:


> In hospital was told not a stoke but a seizure, improved as the morning went on, discharged after 7 hours.. now devastated she must inform DVLA and will not be allowed to drive her little sports car around
> Graham


Discharged after 7 hours!?!? Far too soon IMO. There should have been at least 24hr observations undertaken. I trained as a nurse way back in the 50s. No way would someone with such a history have been discharged so quickly in those days.

I have spent a couple of hours this evening with a retired doctor friend of mine. She is presenting with heart symptoms. There is a strong family history of coronary disease and early deaths from heart attacks yet she has been left for over a month trying to see a cardiologist following an urgent request from her GP. She is worn out by keep ringing to see what has happened to her appointment so I am going to ring PALS and establish exactly what the waiting time is for an URGENT one.

My friend's youngest son and daughter in law are both doctors but she won't tell them about herself as she doesn't want to worry them. I am left wondering if I should-what would you do?

I do hope that Fiona is not treated in this way. Of course the DVLA must be notified. Apart from the fact that it is an offence not to do so Fiona may be involved in an accident that was not her fault but she could find her insurance invalidated. Solicitors are very quick to get consent to obtain a copy of one's medical records and scan them to find a loophole to get out of paying out.

Sorry to be Job's Comforter in this


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## PlanetGen

I have not met you both, but my thoughts are with Fiona, I hope she will be ok
Simon


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## Pusser

I do hope things can get back to normal and this is merely a one off. Hopefully the most likely outocme of tests is that there is little to worry about.


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## zulurita

Such a shock for you Graham but glad to read Fiona is on the mend. Fingers crossed that it isn't anything serious.


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## olley

Hi sorry to hear of your troubles, also surprised she wasn't kept in, I had a TGA about 6 months back, no previous, kept in overnight, then brain scan in the morning, saw a consultant and finally booted out around 6pm. A TGA is nowhere near as serious as a seizure. 

Maybe it just depends how good your local hospital is?

Olley


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## gdleeds

Again a heart felt thank you to all who have responded, from Fiona and myself.
Fiona`s brother has been a brick, checked with his colleagues to see who is the best neurologist in our area.
We have an appointment this afternoon with our GP so we will be requesting this neurologist, checked out DVLA site as advised and depending on what comes from the specialist it could be a 6 month or 12 month ban

Fiona is really improving, just heard her whistling along with radio... still out of tune.. 

Thanks for the advise and anecdotes it really has helped

regards
Graham


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## CliffyP

gdleeds said:


> Again a heart felt thank you to all who have responded, from Fiona and myself.
> Fiona`s brother has been a brick, checked with his colleagues to see who is the best neurologist in our area.
> We have an appointment this afternoon with our GP so we will be requesting this neurologist, checked out DVLA site as advised and depending on what comes from the specialist it could be a 6 month or 12 month ban
> 
> Fiona is really improving, just heard her whistling along with radio... still out of tune..
> 
> Thanks for the advise and anecdotes it really has helped
> 
> Great Stuff. Have a good Christmas
> 
> regards
> Graham


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## JockandRita

gdleeds said:


> Fiona is really improving, just heard her whistling along with radio... still out of tune..


 :lol:

Jock.


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## gdleeds

Just an update unfortunately Fiona has had a couple of setbacks this evening that have frightened her, we saw the GP this tea time and a referral is been organised, but relaxing this evening she got similar symptoms prior to the seizure Sunday morning, she get a strange smell/taste in her mouth and she feels trembling to the side of her eye, we phoned the Doctor but unless she does have a seizure there is little they can do.
We are trying many ways to relax her and attempt to make her feel secure, God I wish I could change places with her

Graham


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## EJB

So sorry Graham.....our thoughts are with you both


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## Penquin

Some thoughts on known trigger factors and actions in 2 PM's to you.

Best wishes,

Dave


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## JockandRita

gdleeds said:


> Just an update unfortunately Fiona has had a couple of setbacks this evening that have frightened her, we saw the GP this tea time and a referral is been organised, but relaxing this evening she got similar symptoms prior to the seizure Sunday morning, she get a strange smell/taste in her mouth and she feels trembling to the side of her eye, we phoned the Doctor but unless she does have a seizure there is little they can do.
> We are trying many ways to relax her and attempt to make her feel secure, God I wish I could change places with her
> 
> Graham


Sorry too to hear that news Graham.

Just be there for Fiona. There's not a lot else you can do, for now anyway.

Kindest regards,

Jock & Rita.


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## CliffyP

You are doing everything you can, support and love is what is needed and you are providing both. Hang in there she sounds a tough girl.


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## zulurita

So sorry to read that Graham. You are giving Fiona all the support you can.

Thinking of you both.


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## gdleeds

Update Tuesday...  Fiona was taken into hospital last night, well actually 2.00am this morning after another seizure, the registrar in the A&E dept after giving her an examination decided to admit her and fast track her for a scan today Tuesday... due to the bugs in hospitals I`m unable to be at her side and have to wait until this afternoon before I can visit, thought I would just bring those who may be interested up to date

Thanks again for the best wishes, advice and concern shown

Graham


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## StephandJohn

We haven't met but can imagine how scary this is. Best wishes


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## Sharnor

Oh my goodness Graham, I am so sorry to hear what you are going through. My thoughts are with you guys.

Sharon


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## locovan

Graham she is in the best place and now they will keep going until they find the cause.
Try not to worry-- think positive and good luck to you both. 
Keep us informed please --you will find a lot of strength from the forum :wink: .


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## Penquin

Agree totally with Mavis - she is in the best place possible and while it may seem difficult to accept the prevention of infection is of vital importance.

Hopefully they will run a series of tests to identify the cause and then work out a plan to sort out the problem.

Our thoughts and prayers are with you - which seems little enough but is all we can offer from a distance. You know that you have massive support amongst the numerous posters on here, most of whom you have probably never met, but all of whom have a massive amount of sympathy for both of you as you face these difficulties.

Please do keep us all informed as to progress.

Dave


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## CaGreg

Hope everything works out for the best. Thoughts a prayers.

Ca


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## 96299

Thinking of you guys. Fingers firmly crossed here.

steve


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## JockandRita

gdleeds said:


> thought I would just bring those who may be interested up to date
> 
> Thanks again for the best wishes, advice and concern shown
> 
> Graham


Please do Graham.

So sorry to hear that your Fiona has suffered another seizure. Chin up, where possible. She's definitely in the right place for now.

Kindest regards,

Jock.


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## Rainbow-Chasers

Hope you find a reason soon, and get back to a normal life - as much as possible any way. Awful thing to happen - as you say, you never know what life has around the corner.


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## gdleeds

Update Tues lunch, sat around waiting that's a hard thing to do when you want to be at your loved ones bedside..
Fiona called me to say she has just returned from having a scan, but she was informed that she also had another seizure whilst in the observation ward, now been placed on drugs and under observation until 2.00 when visiting begins and she may be discharged at that time.. we can only wait and see

Graham


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## moblee

Just logged on..........I was not expecting to hear news of Another seizure.

The tests your wife Fiona is having will diagnose the problem and hopefully Identify the treatment.

All the *Best*

Phil & Janet.


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## JockandRita

gdleeds said:


> Update Tues lunch, sat around waiting that's a hard thing to do when you want to be at your loved ones bedside..
> Fiona called me to say she has just returned from having a scan, but she was informed that she also had another seizure whilst in the observation ward, now been placed on drugs and under observation until 2.00 when visiting begins and she may be discharged at that time.. we can only wait and see
> 
> Graham


Gordon Bennett! Another seizure, and a possible discharge so soon?

We wish you both all the best, and hope that Fiona gets the right treatment.

Kindest regards,

Jock & Rita.


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## Invicta

gdleeds said:


> Update Tues lunch, sat around waiting that's a hard thing to do when you want to be at your loved ones bedside..
> Fiona called me to say she has just returned from having a scan, but she was informed that she also had another seizure whilst in the observation ward, now been placed on drugs and under observation until 2.00 when visiting begins and she may be discharged at that time.. we can only wait and see
> 
> Graham


I would say Graham that you want Fiona to be seen by the appropriate consultant BEFORE she leaves the hospital. It is not good enough to give her medication and then discharge her without assessing the effectiveness of the drugs. I cannot believe what is happening in the NHS today.

A friend of mine (a retired doctor) is sitting in the local hospital right now after having been admitted last evening with shortness of breathe and tightness in her chest. There is a family history of heart problems and early deaths from heart attacks. She has been referred for an urgent angiogram but nothing happened on that front to date. She has been told the the cardiac consultant whose clinic she attended last week (didn't see him but his registrar) is in the hospital today and MAY get to see her later this afternoon. What a situation!

I'm afraid it is all about money these days and who pays for the consultation, ie the GP via the PCT, the PCT being the 'Purchaser' and the hospital trust the 'Provider'. (PCTs can in some circumstances be both 'Purchasers' and 'Providers'). Inter hospital referrals as I once knew them when I worked in the NHS are few and far between as far as I can see.

Just imagine the scenario, you are in hospital with one condition ie a bladder problem and have back ache, quite common with a bladder condition. The urology consultant wants a second opinion from an orthopaedic consultant in an attempt to identify the cause of the back ache. You then have to go back to the GP to be referred to the orthopaedic consultant as the urology consultant cannot do so as it is another 'episode of care' that has to be paid for from someone's budget! How do I know this? It happened to me!


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## richardjames

Graham
I am so sorry to hear about your setback - I sincerely hope things will get back to normal very, very soon
Regards
  Keep smiling


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## gdleeds

Fiona is now back home, I collected her this afternoon, she has had a variety of tests and a scan but is now an out patient awaiting further tests and scans before we both see the consultant.. told should be no more than two weeks.
Had to cancel the January cruise, with her still been under investigation and the bag of pills they gave her, we need to see what dose works for her.
She is back on form giving me a little grief for eating cream crackers before diner... didn't bother telling her I had been up since 1.30 this morning with only a couple of Costa coffee`s.... 
Glad to have her back though, should be resting but going round wiping surfaces, keep telling her she should be resting.. `yes I should` then carries on
Looks like things may just be getting back to normal.... got to be an optimist
regards to all and a Merry Xmas
Fiona & Graham


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## Snelly

Hope your both ok now, been a little drama for you both. Best of luck with the up coming appointments, im glad they have run more tests.

x


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## CliffyP

Thats women for you Graham, its us blokes that do all the worrying 8O .

Glad she's home again. There will be plenty of time to do another Cruise when she's over this hickup.
Have a good Christmas and look forward to a healthy 2010.


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## locovan

gdleeds said:


> Fiona is now back home, I collected her this afternoon, she has had a variety of tests and a scan but is now an out patient awaiting further tests and scans before we both see the consultant.. told should be no more than two weeks.
> Had to cancel the January cruise, with her still been under investigation and the bag of pills they gave her, we need to see what dose works for her.
> She is back on form giving me a little grief for eating cream crackers before diner... didn't bother telling her I had been up since 1.30 this morning with only a couple of Costa coffee`s....
> Glad to have her back though, should be resting but going round wiping surfaces, keep telling her she should be resting.. `yes I should` then carries on
> Looks like things may just be getting back to normal.... got to be an optimist
> regards to all and a Merry Xmas
> Fiona & Graham


You cant keep a good woman down :lol: 
Well done and good luck to the pair of you.
There will be lots of time for holiday's just get better Fiona :lol:


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## Otto-de-froste

We're so sorry to hear of this further setback

Graham and Fiona you continue to be in our prayers

Please God that Fiona makes a full and speedy recovery and that you get all the help and support that you need to see this through

With kindest regards

Paul & Kath


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## Nora+Neil

gdleeds.
Hope things will be sorted now with medication.
Our thought for you both is to have a very Happy Christmas.

Do you mind me asking what Hospital it was?
Trained as a Nurse in St James's in Leeds in the late 60th.
Still have a great [Gra] love with that area.


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## Briarose

Hi to you both, I must have missed your post before Graham, but I am glad that everything is being investigated. Hopefully they will now get to the bottom of the problem and get Fiona sorted ASAP.

Fingers crossed for you both and please keep us updated, it must be a very worrying time for you.

Take care Nette


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## JockandRita

Hi Graham,

Rita and I are glad to hear that you are both in each others arms again, but not sure that home is the best place for Fiona, so soon after her third seizure.

They must know what they are doing, and as non medicallly trained folks, we all rely upon their professional judgement, as you do.

Bu##er the cruise, lets see Fiona up and about, and rapidly responding to treatment. :thumbright: :thumbright: :thumbright: 

All the best to you both,

Jock & Rita.


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## carolgavin

Awwww sorry Fiona has had further seizures, hopefully they can find the cause and treat appropriately. What a shame about your cruise but fingers crossed you both can take it at a later date. 
Best wishes to you both
Carol


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## xgx

> She is back on form giving me a little grief for eating cream crackers before diner... (...)
> going round wiping surfaces (...)


Always a good sign :wink: It's called 'cleaning therapy' ...don't discourage her 'cos it's a lot cheaper than 'retail therapy' :lol:

Relax and be well :!:


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## gdleeds

Update.... we have passed a mile marker today, Fiona has passed her first 24 hours clear, an encouraging sign.
She has dressed the Christmas tree, is in a cheerful mood considering what she has been through in the last few days, she is having a slight memory problem but is not giving me cause for concern as yet.

She started her medication last night and the dosage increases week by week.
I must say the NHS staff at the Leeds General Infirmary were great, even though I was a little concerned at first about the `turnround` speed` but I was given a comprehensive explanation on what occurred an how to handle the situation for the future.

One tip they gave me which is very sensible, and if you don`t use it you must, that we all must put ICE into your mobile phone, *In Case of Emergency* put the number of those you would like contacting, Paramedics and Police look for this in mobile phones.

Finally I cannot thank those (they know who they are) who PM me and left messages, and also those of you who took the trouble to a respond to this blog. It did mean a lot me when I read them, and a great deal to Fiona when I read them back to her.
I would, no, we would like to wish all of you at Motorhomefacts a happy and joyous Christmas. My wish came true!!!

Graham


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## geraldandannie

Glad things are getting back to normal, Graham. Fingers crossed that the improvements continue. It must have been a terrible shock.

Gerald


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## Penquin

Very pleased to hear Fiona is back home and adjusting to the medication _pro tem_ we are all pleased to hear of this progress and hope that the consultant appointments brings some understanding of what has happened and why.

If she runs out of suitable things to clean I know of quite a few more that would benefit from such tlc :lol:

We are all very grateful for your keeping us informed and would all wish for you to pass on our best wishes to Fiona.

Dave


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## LeoK

Very sorry to hear about what has been happening to Fiona, but pleased that she appears to be mending.

Hope that this continues apace, and that you can have a lovely Christmas together.

Also that you will both enjoy your belated cruise.

With best wishes from Leo and Penny.


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## JockandRita

gdleeds said:


> I would, no, we would like to wish all of you at Motorhomefacts a happy and joyous Christmas.


And the very same to you and Fiona.

We are so glad to hear that Fiona's condition appears to be responding to medication, and that she is experiencing some normality in her day to day life.

I have ICE 1, 2 and 3 on my mobile phone, so that there is always at least one contactable person, in the event of anything happening to us when out in the MH.

Best wishes,

Jock & Rita.

P.S. When are you both out in the MH again?


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## Penquin

Much as I do not like to pour cold water on a suggestion (which originally came from Norfolk Ambulance I believe)

I have done a great deal with the ambulance and police and have never seen any of the paramedics or technicians try to find ICE on a mobile phone. There are usually very important things to do involving the patient.

If the patient is unconscious and unable to give any information I can see it might be used, but the person using it would have to ensure that the mobile phone belonged to the unconscious person - the thought of contacting someone else is contrary to patient confidentiality.

I am sure Asprn will give us advice about whether the police would use it, I have it in my phone (as does MrsW) but am not convinced it is the full answer - a card in a wallet or a medic-alert type necklace or bracelet (or SOS Talisman or any other many others) is more likely to be looked for and found than a mobile phone of unknown ownership ...........

The most important thing is to have a list of the medication, type, dosage and times of taking with you - that information is recorded on the patient record form completed by ambulance staff and passed on to the hospital as part of the patient's medical notes. The next of kin does go on there if it is known - but would normally be tackled by the hospital staff I believe.

But there is nothing wrong with having it there "just in case" - I would be happy to be proved wrong! It is like using a belt, braces and a piece of string to hold up your trousers!!! :lol: Any of those three individually may well do the job, but all together the chances of failure are VERY small !  


I hope that Fiona's health continues to improve and that the medication is not having too many unwanted side effects!  
Dave


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## zulurita

So sorry to read Fiona had another seizure. 

At least she has had the scan now and is on medication and responding in that she hasn't had another seizure and back to herself.

Hope Fiona remains zeizure free and you both have a very happy Christmas.


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## gdleeds

Its now 60 hours since last seizure, the medication Fiona is on is only a low dosage but does seem to have had an effect. The dosage doubles each week to see what best works for her.

We are now waiting to go back to the LGI for further tests and scans before she finally sees the Consultant and we find out what brought on these seizures.

At the moment she does have a slight memory problem, she cannot be left alone for perhaps 2 months. I have now cancelled the cruise, plenty available in the future.

I was asked when I would be next out in the van, if anyone knows of a good venue for maybe a couple of nights in Jan then I think a change of scene would help both of us.

Must say the whole family have been wonderful, problem now our boys will have to find a new babysitting service as this one is on hold for a while.

Again we both thanks those who found time to drop us a line of encouragement and good wishes.

Merry Xmas to all
Changed our pic so able to see Fiona, taken 3 weeks ago in St Lucia

regards
Graham


----------



## coppo

Hi Graham
Here's wishing Fiona a speedy return to good health.

Best wishes

Paul/Caroline.


----------



## richardjames

Thanks Graham for the update - I'm glad that it's under control - must have been a very stressful time for you both - time to relax and enjoy the festive season


----------



## marnaz

To echo the same as everyone else.
Hope you both can chill out over xmas and enjoy the season.
Best Wishes to you both.

Marnaz


----------



## gdleeds

*Update 10th Jan*

Its coming up to a month since I first posted this item, in that time we have received numerous best wishes and as such I would like to bring those who are interested up to date re 10th Jan

We have had a bad week, Fiona went on to her full strength recommended dosage of Keppra, a drug used to suppress seizures, with this increase in dosage it has also brought on an increase in Aura`s that's a reference to the start or trigger of a seizure.
Over the last 24 hours i have reached a stage where I had to phone the Hospital only to be told to see our GP, on a Sat afternoon, after talking with NHS direct we got an appointment with a local community hospital, whilst in the waiting room Fiona suffers with 2 Aura`s, this starts with a feeling of sickness, a rising metallic taste/smell together with a pressure within her head with an electrical discharge behind her eye, its last about 4 minutes and can be calmed by reassurance and controlled breathing, the GP could not help but referred her to Hospital, again we saw an assessment Doctor who told us to reduce the dosage for this evening.
At 4.00 am Fiona had 4 Auras in 40 minuets so I took her to the LGI monitoring was carried out in A & E the Auras continued every 10 mins right through until her morning dosage took effect at about 9.00 am, she was again admitted to the observation ward.
The morning passed with a steady increase in the severity and frequency of the Auras until lunch where they again went on to a 10 min cycle.
By then she had seen 3 doctors and opinion was to look at the drug as this may have been causing side effect, I told one doctor it appeared to me that this was a build up and something would occur if something was not done.
Again I was told to just reassure her and help her with her breathing exercises, this I had been doing for 8 hours, at around 4 pm Fiona suffered a full blown seizure whilst a doctor was in attendance.... she came round after about 20 minuets of been unconscious, totally unaware of the days events.. she was due to see one of the countries top neurologist on Thursday.. she was given a stimulant to help her relax and sleep tonight.
So we start again probably with a different drug but she is in the best place possible tonight.
Graham


----------



## Briarose

Hi Graham this must be a very worrying time for you all, I just hope and pray that someone can get to the bottom of what is triggering the attacks, and why. Please keep us updated and tell Fiona that our thoughts and prayers are with her. My thoughts are with you too as I know how worrying it is when a partner is ill or something is wrong healthwise.

Nette


----------



## richardjames

Graham my thoughts and prayers are with you at this distressing time. Thank you for keeping us posted


----------



## xgx

*Re: Update 10th Jan*



gdleeds said:


> ...she is in the best place possible tonight.
> Graham


Yes, time for you to get ready for tomorrow by getting fed (if you haven't already) and get some rest!


----------



## carolgavin

Oh Graham was so hoping Fiona would have been fine, such a shame for her and a worrying time for you to boot. You are probably right that she is in the best place possible at the moment. I do hope she is ok and the doctors can get to the bottom of it quickly.
Thinking of you both.


----------



## ardgour

Sorry to hear about this set back, it must be terrifying and so frustrating for both of you. Hopefully when Fiona sees this top neurologist his experience will provide a safe way forward for you.

Chris


----------



## locovan

Graham I to add my love to you both and hope Fiona recovers soon and they really do sort the problem.
How worrying for you but try and get a good nights sleep.
Thinking of you


----------



## CaGreg

Prayers and all good wishes

Ca and Greg


----------



## JockandRita

Graham,

What can we say?

We were hoping that the next post from you and Fiona, would be good news. 

Sorry to hear that things don't appear to be going well. For now though, please take heed to Graham's (xgx), advice, and sort yourself out with some sustenance and rest, ready for the day ahead tomorrow. 

Please pass on our best wishes to Fiona, when appropriate.

Much respect and kindest regards,

Jock & Rita.


----------



## CliffyP

Hope all goes well and the specialist gets things sorted for you. 

Kindest regards
Pat & Clii


----------



## Snelly

I was hoping things were starting to calm down, but obviously not. Thinking about you both, stay strong.


----------



## lalala

Hello Graham and Fiona
I have just seen these posts and want to pass on our very best wishes for a speedy recovery. We know someone whose daughter went through a whole series of very frightening seizures, they never seemed to get to the bottom of them, but when we last heard things were very much improved. 
lala


----------



## joedenise

Graham & Fiona

Only just seen these posts. Our best wishes and hope Fiona improves quickly. Joe says he understands how you feel after being married to someone that long.

Joe and Denise


----------



## MrsW

Poor Fiona! Poor you! what a horrid day for you Graham! I do hope the morning sees an improvement and that the neurologist will be able to shed some light on the problem for you both. Thinking of you both and praying for you.


----------



## Invicta

So very sorry Graham to read your latest news.

I do hope you have family and friends around to give you support. We must never forget that carers too need support.

I do hope along with others of the MHF fraternity that a diagnosis will soon be obtained and appropriate, effective treatment will then be commenced.


----------



## Penquin

I am sorry not to have replied before - I have only just seen your latest post and was very concerned for you and Fiona.

It is never easy to be waiting, knowing that something needs to be done but totally powerless to do anything.

Fiona is obviously in the best place for the time being and we can all only hope and pray that a firm diagnosis will come soon - there is at least the reassuring fact that while in hospital she will be carefully monitored and of course, her presence there will increase the pressure on the medical staff to explain what is happening and what can be done about improving things!

Thank you very much for taking time out of your obviously busy day to share your news with all of us. All we can do is to offer our support but you have massive amounts of that I am sure.

Keep your own chin up - it is very important for Fiona that you also can cope - and not an easy task to face.

We are thinking of both of you.

Dave


----------



## patp

Hi Graham
Sorry to hear of Fiona's continuing siezures. She is in the best place for now. At least you can relax for a while. Do take the opportunity to do something "normal" for a while.

Best wishes

Pat


----------



## zulurita

Sorry to read that Fiona hasn't improved. At least Fiona is in the best place and lets hope they come to a diagnosis soon.

Look after yourself. In my thoughts and prayers.


----------



## Sharnor

Oh Graham, I am so sorry this is still on going. I really hope they get to the bottom of things now for you. What a dreadful start to the New Year.

Sharon


----------



## annetony

I have only just seen this post, I hope that they get to the bottom of the seizures and get them under control

I remember a friend of mine having some years ago and she wasnt allowed to drive again till she had 2 years seizure free, she had a young baby and was really scared she would have one and hurt the baby, she is back driving again now, 

Fiona is in the best place and it was good that there was a doctor present when she was having onee will know exactly what information to pass on to the specialist

We both hope that Fiona is going to be okay and that they sort out what has been causing these seiaures-- I am sure you will be out in the motorhome soon enjoying yourselves


Take care both of you

Love and Best Wishes

Anne and Tony


----------



## 96299

Like everyone else-were rooting for you both.

steve


----------



## Jezport

I have just read this thread, I wish you all the best and hope things make a turn for the best.

The LGI is probably one of the best places in the country for neurological problems. My Dad had brain surgery there.

Regards
Jez and family


----------



## DTPCHEMICALS

We do hope rthat the situation improves from now.
Best wishes to you both

Dave and Margaret p


----------



## coppo

Good luck, hoping you get some good news in the very near future.

Thinking of you.

Paul & Caroline.


----------



## lindyloot

Hi Graham, our best wishes to you both Rich and Lin


----------



## neilanddot

Dear Graham and Fiona. What a terrible, frightening experience. Dot had some seizures over a year ago, and it was both very worrying and confusing and in comparison to Fiona's were very mild. However that was then. 
We both feel so sorry for you both and hope a good drug regime is found to quell these attacks, give her our love and tell her we are thinking of her. 
Neil and Dot


----------



## gdleeds

Thank you I really do mean that to all of you who took the trouble to write you don't know how much it means to me at this moment..

Up at 5 am this morning and outside her ward at 6.00 but they would not let me in till 8.30 so overdosed myself on Cost coffee, they get everywhere, anyway took Fiona her slippers etc,

she had a restless night and unfortunately th Aura`s have continued, I waited for the consultant responsible for this observation ward where Fiona is at present and listened to him explain the situation to a number of medical students, part way through I had to interrupt as the information he was passing was incorrect, yesterday 3 Doctors saw Fiona each a stage higher than the last, I explained that I thought that as the Aura`s were increasing in severity and time that this was a sign that something was happening.... the consultant was under the impression that Fiona had been seen by a Neurologist but this was not the case, non of the Doctors had even spoken to the Neurologist it was just in the note as `need to` so I had a `forceful` discussion with the consultant in front of all his staff to let him know I was not impressed and found the lack of medical skill not acceptable.
We received an apology and a reaction we were looking for, that all the stops would now be pulled out to get Fiona a MIR scan, see a Neurologist and get some action on the right medication.
I don't like complaining but after seeing first hand what a mess a junior Doctor without experience can cause, I think I might just have a quite word in his shell like.... So kicked off the ward now until official visiting at 2.00.


----------



## teljoy

gdleeds said:


> Thank you I really do mean that to all of you who took the trouble to write you don't know how much it means to me at this moment..
> 
> Up at 5 am this morning and outside her ward at 6.00 but they would not let me in till 8.30 so overdosed myself on Cost coffee, they get everywhere, anyway took Fiona her slippers etc,
> 
> she had a restless night and unfortunately th Aura`s have continued, I waited for the consultant responsible for this observation ward where Fiona is at present and listened to him explain the situation to a number of medical students, part way through I had to interrupt as the information he was passing was incorrect, yesterday 3 Doctors saw Fiona each a stage higher than the last, I explained that I thought that as the Aura`s were increasing in severity and time that this was a sign that something was happening.... the consultant was under the impression that Fiona had been seen by a Neurologist but this was not the case, non of the Doctors had even spoken to the Neurologist it was just in the note as `need to` so I had a `forceful` discussion with the consultant in front of all his staff to let him know I was not impressed and found the lack of medical skill not acceptable.
> We received an apology and a reaction we were looking for, that all the stops would now be pulled out to get Fiona a MIR scan, see a Neurologist and get some action on the right medication.
> I don't like complaining but after seeing first hand what a mess a junior Doctor without experience can cause, I think I might just have a quite word in his shell like.... So kicked off the ward now until official visiting at 2.00.


None of us like complaining but Fiona is your most precious asset. Bl***y well complain!!!

Terry


----------



## zulurita

So glad you have managed to tell the consultant what you think.

Lets hope they now get on with doing the MRI scan and whatever else needs doing.

Once you know what you and Fiona are dealing with thats half the battle.

Good luck.


----------



## CaGreg

Even though I am a medical person myself, I have been at the receiving end of doctor's mistakes which caused me to become very seriously in danger a few years ago. And the same doctor told me to my face that he didn't like dealing with nurses as patients, because he didn't like the way they conveyed information! 

I think that doctors should have patients keep their notes for them. A very vital piece of information that I had given to two different doctors in A and E was overlooked for four days, and the shock on his face when I gave him this information had to be seen. I was very pleased to remind him of his statement about nurses and passing on information. The necessary scan was carried out within an hour and my original 'amateur diagnosis' was shown to be correct.

It isn't easy to be forceful in these situations. It is sometimes necessary, and can be life saving. Try not to have regrets that you didn't speak up. 
Hope things get better.
Ca


----------



## Jezport

I have had a lot of experience at the LGI Neuro dept, there are lots of emergencies always coming in. They tend to leave more stable patients and fit them around emergencies. Don't sit back, push them and make sure that they know that you are not going to accept any unnecessary delays.

My dad was prepared for surgery 3 times to be sent back after other more serious cases came in. If you have private healthcare let them know as there seems to be time reserved for private consultations and surgery.


----------



## Invicta

Doctors and nurses should certainly consult with next of kin and others who know the patient.

I had quite a run in at times about my late husband's care. I knew that when I appeared on the ward they would be saying; "Oh no, not her again!"

I wrote so many letters of complaint but at least it did cause the staff to be more on their toes. It should not be necessary to have to do this but if it is of benefit to the patient then don't be afraid to ask questions and make complaints where necessary. After all, it may be not only your relative who will benefit, but others as well.

As for listening to patients, I used to get very angry with some midwives, mainly those who had never had personal experience of childbirth, when the woman said "I want to push" and their reply would be, "You can't yet!". If a woman said "I want to push" then 9 times out of 10 in my experience the baby was on its way!


----------



## JockandRita

gdleeds said:


> Clipped.......... so I had a `forceful` discussion with the consultant in front of all his staff to let him know I was not impressed and found the lack of medical skill not acceptable.
> We received an apology and a reaction we were looking for, that all the stops would now be pulled out to get Fiona a MIR scan, see a Neurologist and get some action on the right medication.


Good on you Graham. If it needs saying, then it has to be said. :thumbright:

Fiona needs someone to fight her corner right now, and you're the one.

Hopefully now, everything will fall into place, and perhaps in a few weeks time, you'll both be able to get that huge MH off the driveway, and on the road to sunnier climes.

Good luck to Fiona, for the planned investigations and subsequent treatment.

Kindest regards,

Jock & Rita.


----------



## MrsW

As a nurse I hate to have to knock the NHS but I do agree that there are times to stand up and say your piece. It sounds like Fiona has a brilliant advocate there in you Graham. Keep up the good work!

I do hope the MRI shows up any problems quickly so the seizures can be brought under control swiftly. Meanwhile, you both remain in my thoughts and prayers.

The photo of Fiona is fab! I do hope she is back to full health soon.


----------



## loughrigg

Graham
If you think any aspect of Fiona's care isn't correct, you have every right to ask for an explanation or a second opinion. Don't have a second thought about getting involved.

Mistakes can be made for a whole variety of reasons - nurses, junior doctors and consultants can and do err from time to time.

Like you, my wife once corrected a consultant in front of a room full of juniors - it wasn't well received at the time, but he was wrong and subsequently came back and apologised(without the juniors). Over a prolonged period, my wife (AKA the five foot rotweiller) gained quite a reputation among the nursing staff to the point that she was once asked a technical question about diabetes because the nurse was convinced she was a doctor.

Very best wishes to you and Fiona and I hope things start to improve quickly.

Mike


----------



## gdleeds

*Results of MRI Scan*

Yesterday Fiona was moved from the observation ward to the Neurology ward, at the LGI she is now in the right place... an MRI scan was taken and we where given the results by the neurologist.

The scan found that Fiona had fluid on her brain.........
This could be a Leigion
Possibly a Tumour 
With only one scan its impossible to tell as this only gives a snapshot of the day.
So there were a number of positives she is strong has all facilities etc, may do biopsy or leave for second scan in couple of months, surgeons meeting weds aft and Fiona put forward for listing, so will not know what decision is made for another day.

Ironic or coincidence, when I got back in last night I put the TV on and corry was running, there was a scene where the mother withheld from her daughters that she had cancer and the daughters found out and were devastated at not been told of her condition... Fiona and I had just had that conversation and we decided not to inform our boys until after weds meeting, I woke up at 5 am today and decided after thinking it through that they had a right to know the condition of there mother so I arranged a 8 am meeting explained where we stood right at this moment.... they were shocked but pleased I had told them, I felt better that they now knew and I know Fiona would have watched the soap ans would have agreed with my decision.. so we will find out tomorrow how things stand
Must just say the staff on this ward are superb, the doctors nurse`s etc its like chalk and cheese
I feel that she is definitely been cared for now
regards
Graham
Sorry to ramble but it does help me


----------



## locovan

Graham you have done the right thing as the hospital will ask if you have shared it with your family.
They should be there from the beginning as then they are prepared for the good or bad news.
My youngest son came home from Spain as soon as he knew my news and he says he doesn't regret that at all as he is able to give me his backing and also his Dad as Ray talks to them about his feelings which is just as important.
I wish you, Fiona and the boy's the strength to cope with the next few days until you get the true diagnoses and through the treatment.
Keep talking on here where you find so many friends and they are always listening and encouraging.
Love mavis


----------



## xgx

*Re: Results of MRI Scan*



gdleeds said:


> ...
> So there were a number of positives ...


Good for you both!

As far as rambling is concerned ... carry on 'cos there's lots of folks on here wishing for a happy outcome. 
(and quite a few that have had similar experiences)

Personally I think it's good that you've told the boys... you can all help each other and support Fiona.

I'm looking forward to your next ramble and some more good news :wink:


----------



## SilverF1

Sounds as if the journey to recovery has finally and belatedly started. Best wishes to you, Fiona and the family. Hope the year turns out well for you.


----------



## MrsW

Sorry to hear there is still some element of doubt about diagnosis but very pleased to hear Fiona is now going to get a much better standard of care. I think it is right that the boys know; they are adults and are there now to support you both as well as coming to terms with whatever the diagnosis may turn out to be. I do hope the meeting on Wednesday goes well and Fiona starts to feel more like her old self very soon. Thinking and praying for you all.


----------



## dawnwynne

I've been following this thread but have not yet commented as I'm fairly new to the forum and didn't want to just jump in...however I have been thinking of you and Fiona. 

So glad she is now getting the proper care and that you have also told your children. You need the support as much as anything else!

I wish you and Fiona tremendous luck on Wednesday and by all means...ramble/rant away on here as much as you need too...we're all here to support you in anyway we can...and I know it helps to just let it all out...


----------



## JockandRita

*Re: Results of MRI Scan*



xgx said:


> I'm looking forward to your next ramble and some more good news :wink:


Well said that man. :thumbright: And so are we.

The lads will have respected your actions to share the bad news, and will be there also to share the good news when it comes.

Please give Fiona our best wishes.

Kindest regards,

Jock & Rita.


----------



## ruffingitsmoothly

Graham you have my heartfelt sympathies I know exactly what you are going through as I have been there myself

In June 2002 my wife Sue (who was 42 at the time) and myself came back from a night out and as my son had left the computer on in the study Sue said she would switch it off, she sat down and the next thing was she was wailing like a banshee and making a sound like a one arm bandit paying out the jackpot, also foam and blood coming from her mouth where she had bitten her tongue. 

I was in shock but managed to get her upstairs where she had another seizure, I then phoned for an ambulance and she was taken to hospital having had further seizures in the presence of the paramedics.

The long and short of it is that Sue has an Oligodendroglioma which is a brain tumour over her left eye, we had brilliant care from the Southampton General Hospital she was kept in and had CT and MRI Scans within a week.

Sue had an operation to remove as much of the tumour as possible and the surgeon was very pleased he was able to remove about 80%. She was then monitored for 5 years and then the devastating news at another MRI scan was that the tumour had once again grown and furthermore gone from a grade 2 to a 3 which is more aggressive. So she had another operation an open craniotomy and again a lot of the tumour was removed, she then had to endure a course of chemotherapy during which she was very very ill, I really did feel sorry for her!

Thankfully for the last two years the tumour has not grown Sue is back driving and still on anti seizure drugs, but has not had a seizure thank god for over 6 years, but she gets so tired all the time and probably spends at least 12 hours asleep every day. But to look at her you would not believe anything was wrong as anyone who knows her can confirm she is bubbly and carefree I appear more worried than her!!!

Her oncologist is pleased with her condition and further states that we still have the big gun in reserve (Radiotherapy)

We looked up the prognosis for an Oligodendroglioma and found it to be 5 to 10 years from diagnosis to death and the tumour would progressively get more aggressive which it has done!

So Graham I hope and pray that Fiona does not have anything as serious as this but even God forbid if she has there are marvels in the medical world that can possibly cure or at least stabilize her condition and get her back to as normal as they have done with my wife Sue. 

Regards Pat


----------



## Invicta

Graham you are absolutely right to share the information with the family.

I went through hell when my mother was diagnosed with cancer of the bowel. My father insisted that she wasn't told. He would not discuss the situation with anyone. It made life so difficult for me especially as I was a nurse. My mother of course kept asking me questions that I had to try and not answer.

The result was that the relationship between my father and I deteriorated after her death to the extent that he stopped speaking to me for over 20 years until his death at the age of 97. I tried to get help for him but he just poohooed it. I certainly hope no-one else has to go through what I did.

Let's hope the news for you is better tomorrow.

Ramble all you want. Much better than keeping it all bottled up as my father did.

Peggy


----------



## lalala

Graham and Fiona
Thank you for the update. You sound more positive now that you know Fiona is in the right place with the right medical care and attention. You were absolutely right to fight your corner and insist that you were heard.
Our thoughts are with you,
lala


----------



## dawnwynne

My goodness Pat, all the best to you and Sue as well!!


----------



## teljoy

*Re: Results of MRI Scan*



gdleeds said:


> Yesterday Fiona was moved from the observation ward to the Neurology ward, at the LGI she is now in the right place... an MRI scan was taken and we where given the results by the neurologist.
> 
> The scan found that Fiona had fluid on her brain.........
> This could be a Leigion
> Possibly a Tumour
> With only one scan its impossible to tell as this only gives a snapshot of the day.
> So there were a number of positives she is strong has all facilities etc, may do biopsy or leave for second scan in couple of months, surgeons meeting weds aft and Fiona put forward for listing, so will not know what decision is made for another day.
> 
> Ironic or coincidence, when I got back in last night I put the TV on and corry was running, there was a scene where the mother withheld from her daughters that she had cancer and the daughters found out and were devastated at not been told of her condition... Fiona and I had just had that conversation and we decided not to inform our boys until after weds meeting, I woke up at 5 am today and decided after thinking it through that they had a right to know the condition of there mother so I arranged a 8 am meeting explained where we stood right at this moment.... they were shocked but pleased I had told them, I felt better that they now knew and I know Fiona would have watched the soap ans would have agreed with my decision.. so we will find out tomorrow how things stand
> Must just say the staff on this ward are superb, the doctors nurse`s etc its like chalk and cheese
> I feel that she is definitely been cared for now
> regards
> Graham
> Sorry to ramble but it does help me


Glad to hear she is getting the attention she needs. I am sure you will but keep at them and make sure she is at the top of the list as far as the doctors and consultants are concerned . They have priorities just make sure Fiona's is theirs.

Terry


----------



## tomnjune

our thoughts and best wishes to you both, tom njune


----------



## gdleeds

To Sue and Pat 
you have my heartfelt sympathy, I extremely please that Sue is with you and is in good spirits
God bless you both
Graham


----------



## catzontour

Graham, I've only just read through this thread having been away awhile and just want to say you and Fiona are now in my thoughts, as are Pat and Sue. I find your bravery very humbling.

Catz


----------



## richardjames

Graham
Now you have the family with you and behind you the only way now is forward. Fiona is in the right place and at last getting the right treatment. Although there is still some element of worry let's be positive and look to a rapid recovery
I wish you the very best of luck


----------



## zulurita

Ramble on all you want........we are here for you.

Glad Fiona is in the right ward now and getting appropriate treatment. All the best for tomorrow.

Good decision to tell the boys.


----------



## Hezbez

Sending you warm wishes and good thoughts.
I think you were correct to tell your family.

Take care and we'll all collectively pray for good news.


----------



## Briarose

Graham please ramble as much as you want to, we are all here rooting for you and hoping that Fiona is soon well again.

Pat and Sue, what a brave lady Sue is.............my thoughts are with you both too.

Nette


----------



## Freddiebooks

Only just seen this post this evening, even thou it has been running for sometime.

I hope all goes well and i hope in no time at all you'll be planning your next trip out and enjoying all the brilliant experiences that we all enjoy in our little homes on wheels. 

Freddiebooks


----------



## UncleNorm

Hello Graham. Thank you for sharing your awful news with us. I do hope you have the strength to deal with this dreadful situation. I agree with the idea of sharing the news with the boys, as well as with your friends on MHF. All I can do is wish for a positive outcome for Fiona, you and the Boys.


----------



## Penquin

"ramble" quote from Webster's Dictionary;

"to move aimlessly from place to place"

I am surprised at you wanting to go out walking in the present weather! :lol: 

But that is the only ramble that could be applied,

" to talk or write in a desultory or long-winded wandering fashion" is not at all true - you have a point to make and we are all very pleased to give you the space to make it. I am sure there will be no negative comments on here (Mod note; or else..... :lol: )

Like so many others I am relieved that Fiona is, at last, in the best place to get the attention she needs.

I am also very pleased that you have told the family what has happened so far - none of us have a crystal ball and none of us like to be kept in the dark. You both will also receive a vast amount of support from them - much more than you could imagine. 8O 

I hope that Wednesday brings at least some news as to a possible route to resolution and a possible timetable to match.

You are quite correct to stand up for her - that is one of the greatest needs that she has at present.

All of us look forward to some positive news tomorrow and will wait with baited breath (whatever that is  ) to read it.

Best wishes,

Dave


----------



## JockandRita

ruffingitsmoothly said:


> Graham you have my heartfelt sympathies I know exactly what you are going through as I have been there myself
> 
> In June 2002 my wife Sue (who was 42 at the time) and myself came back from a night out and as my son had left the computer on in the study Sue said she would switch it off, she sat down and the next thing was she was wailing like a banshee and making a sound like a one arm bandit paying out the jackpot, also foam and blood coming from her mouth where she had bitten her tongue.
> 
> I was in shock but managed to get her upstairs where she had another seizure, I then phoned for an ambulance and she was taken to hospital having had further seizures in the presence of the paramedics.
> 
> The long and short of it is that Sue has an Oligodendroglioma which is a brain tumour over her left eye, we had brilliant care from the Southampton General Hospital she was kept in and had CT and MRI Scans within a week.
> 
> Sue had an operation to remove as much of the tumour as possible and the surgeon was very pleased he was able to remove about 80%. She was then monitored for 5 years and then the devastating news at another MRI scan was that the tumour had once again grown and furthermore gone from a grade 2 to a 3 which is more aggressive. So she had another operation an open craniotomy and again a lot of the tumour was removed, she then had to endure a course of chemotherapy during which she was very very ill, I really did feel sorry for her!
> 
> Thankfully for the last two years the tumour has not grown Sue is back driving and still on anti seizure drugs, but has not had a seizure thank god for over 6 years, but she gets so tired all the time and probably spends at least 12 hours asleep every day. But to look at her you would not believe anything was wrong as anyone who knows her can confirm she is bubbly and carefree I appear more worried than her!!!
> 
> Her oncologist is pleased with her condition and further states that we still have the big gun in reserve (Radiotherapy)
> 
> We looked up the prognosis for an Oligodendroglioma and found it to be 5 to 10 years from diagnosis to death and the tumour would progressively get more aggressive which it has done!
> 
> So Graham I hope and pray that Fiona does not have anything as serious as this but even God forbid if she has there are marvels in the medical world that can possibly cure or at least stabilize her condition and get her back to as normal as they have done with my wife Sue.
> 
> Regards Pat


Pat & Sue,

How could I have missed you post? Sorry. 

Thanks for sharing your harrowing experience, and we hope that you are both able to enjoy life as much as possible, under the circumstances.

Best wishes for the future together.

Kindest regards,

Jock & Rita.

*Graham, good luck for you and Fiona with today's meeting with the consultants, and the results of the further scan.

Fingers crossed for you both,

Jock & Rita.*


----------



## zappy61

Hi Graham, 
Very sorry to hear of your troubles, some how sorry just doesn't seem enough, but there is a lot of people out there who are routing for you. Remember that consultants and doctors are only people doing a job so if you are not satisfied put your oar in firmly but politely. If things don't happen quick enough another option is pay private for a second opinion.

All our love to Fiona for a speedy recovery


Good luck

Graham


----------



## gdleeds

Its 9.00am and tears are rolling down my face, I love that woman so strong it hurts
don't know where my heads been for last 2 days, feel like I`m a stranger looking in, must get ready now for the meeting with surgeons hell I feel so helpless
sorry must go g


----------



## MrsW

Oh Graham, how I feel for you! You both remain in my thoughts and prayers tday. I do hope you have a satisfactory meeting today and come away with the news you want and a plan of action.


----------



## Caggsie

Good luck for today, your last post brought a tear to my eye. Hopeful a good diagnosis and all is well.

Karen


----------



## dawnwynne

Graham,

Good luck today! I feel absolutely honoured and humbled to be witness to someone who can be so open and honest about their feelings. 

We're all thinking of you and Fiona.


----------



## JockandRita

gdleeds said:


> Its 9.00am and tears are rolling down my face, I love that woman so strong it hurts
> don't know where my heads been for last 2 days, feel like I`m a stranger looking in, must get ready now for the meeting with surgeons hell I feel so helpless
> sorry must go g


Oh dear Graham. We can only try to imagine what is going through your mind at this time.

I hope that you were able to compose yourself, before seeing Fiona this morning, and to be able to look ahead positively.

Awaiting now, to hear some good news.

Kindest regards,

Jock & Rita.


----------



## lindyloot

Hope all goes well we know how you are feeling 
Rich and Lin


----------



## mygalnme

I know we've never met Graham, but wanted to let you know we are thinking of you and Fiona and hope the news today is good,
God Bless Margaret and Tony


----------



## neilanddot

Our thoughts are with you and Fiona. 
Neil is our computer person and has been reading your postings regarding your nightmare situation. 
I also had some "episodes" over a year ago( very minor compared to Fiona, and nothing for over a year now) and cannot believe how long it has taken the medical profession to a) refer you to an neurologist b) and have a scan,- before putting Fiona on medication. Also that they did not keep her under proper hospital observation earlier. Well, it appears that she is now being looked after correctly, at last. Good for you for speaking up and informing the consultant of what had really happened. Also reading that Fiona's brother is a doctor (presume a GP) keep him in the loop as well, and if there is anything you don't quite understand or approve of with regards treatment or how long everything is taking get him to speak to the doctors as well. It's important to pull out all the stops. 
Hope your news this afternoon will give you all hope that she will soon be on the road to recovery.
You sound like a loving, close family and with all that support and support from everyone who has read your emails , we are all sending you all our love and best wishes. Dot and Neil


----------



## Penquin

gdleeds said:


> I love that woman so strong it hurts
> g


And that is the most important fact in this whole episode, you are there for her to "have and to hold, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health"

the marriage vows are so apt at this time. You are there to support in a way that no one else can match or even come close to.

Keep your own strength up, she will need you to be strong for her, whatever happens - and we all hope that today brings positive news and a good prompt plan of action to resolve the problems.

Our thoughts and prayers are with you both, and of course with your family too.

Dave


----------



## gdleeds

*meeting with Surgeon*

Confirmed Brain Tumor

We had our meet very late in the day, the surgeon was very professional with an excellent bedside manner, and confirmed that Fiona does have a Brain Tumor, she has been placed on the acute list and a stereotactic biopsy will be performed in the morning.
Hopefully she will be allowed home on Friday and we will have to wait a week for the results of the biopsy for her treatment to be programmed.

I feel drained but our boys were with us and we now have a challenge ahead of us

I cannot thanks those enough who have put forward their good wishes to Fiona

Regards to all
Graham


----------



## daddysgirl

Graham I've been following your story, and waiting for your post this evening. I can't begin to imagine how you must feel, but just wanted to send my best wishes to you both, and to let you know we are rooting for your lovely lady.
XXXD&P


----------



## dawnwynne

The truth is I don't know really what to say other than I'm so sorry. I too want to send my best wishes and I'm rooting for you both.


----------



## Briarose

Graham my thoughts are with you both, lets hope that now they actually know what is wrong, treatment will begin as soon as possible. Try and get a rest now I know that is not easy but Fiona is going to need you in the days to come.

Take care Nette


----------



## lalala

Stay strong, your whole family will need you in a way that they have not done before. We shall be thinking of you waiting for the biopsy result and hope it is good for you,
best wishes,
lala


----------



## Hezbez

My heart sank when I read your latest post.
But, on a postive note, at least you now have a confirmed diagnosis and you know what your dealing with.

I am by no means that knowledgable on such matters but I do have a friend who had a brain tumour about 20 years ago (it came on very suddenly and she had emergency surgery to remove it). She is still with us today and you would never know her history. She is actively enjoying her early retirement to the full.

My best wishes to you all.


----------



## DoriM

Graham
We've not posted before - but we've been following your journey.
Our prayers are with Fiona, you and your family

Take Care and Be Strong


----------



## richardjames

I, too, am lost for words except to say be strong and positive - my thoughts are with you and Fiona


----------



## hymerowner

Lost for words - my thoughts are with you both.


----------



## locovan

Graham I know the shock you are going through but in my Chemo sessions I have met up with people who have had Brain Tumours Operated on and then go through the Chemo and Radiology and they are in remission.
The road ahead is not easy but you both need a positive attitude to get through.
I wish you and your family love and my thoughts are with you. xx


----------



## bozzer

Graham, Fiona and family
An awful shock.
My thoughts and prayers are with you.


----------



## moblee

I have been following you're post Graham & though I can't say much to help....I will say that you have to stay strong as a Family unit & show Fiona your love.

Best of luck
Phil.


----------



## Invicta

Thanks so much Graham for keeping us informed of the situation. Along with many others here I have been thinking about you all day.

I too have a friend who had a cerebral tumour that was diagnosed and treated over six years ago. She has been able to return to to her work as a nurse working in a very busy operating theatre.

Here's hoping for the news that effective treatment can be commenced for Fiona following the biopsy.

Peggy


----------



## Freddiebooks

My word, that was not what i was hoping to read . And in truth, i am struggling to think of something to say that makes any sense. I thankfully have little experience to date of matters as serious as this. 

I can't even start to imagine how it must feel.

Well now we know the illness, let battle commence on beating the tumor. Leaving Graham and Fiona to get on with there lives as they have planned. 

And when you are back on the scene, I just hope i'm on a pitch next to you two. The size of your rig must make one hell of a good wind break. 

Good Luck and keep strong.

Freddiebooks


----------



## rayrecrok

Hi.

I have been following your progress and the news is terrible, but can I give you a story which you might get some support or comfort from.

First a picture







This is when we had a Royal visit to Wakefield Samaritans.

The lady with the chest and blonde hair in the foreground is our boss the Director and a teacher by profession, when this photo was taken and unknown to anybody she has a brain tumour, this was discovered shortley after the photo was taken because it seems she had the same symptoms as your wife.

After diagnosis she too had to have the tumour removed, and like you we were all shocked and upset. The outcome after the operation was she came back as our director and apart from some minor difficulties she has made a good recovery and is back to a full life, with the only downside she cant drive for a period.

The operation was about 5 years ago and she is normal as far as anybody can see and nobody who didn't know about it all would never guess there was ever anything wrong with her.

So take any support you need and remeber there are a lot of folk fighting with you.

And if anybody is interested I'm the guy at the front with the whiskas.


----------



## Penquin

Thank you for sharin your devastating news with us. It is not an easy road ahead but at least you now have a light at the end of a very dark tunnel.

As you have read, and seen, from many posts above there are a very large number of other people who have been down that route and emerged OK at the end. I am positive that the treatment that Fiona gets will help her on the road to recovery.

It is most important that you can give her all of the support that you can, along with all of the other readers of this thread I will be thinking of you as you progress together.

Please pass on our best wishes to Fiona and to your family - it is important that they are all aware of the strong support they have from all of us - those feelings do make a positive difference.

Dave


----------



## sallytrafic

Graham 

Thinking of you and Fiona, as will many on MHF, not just those who post, you will have the silent majority with you as well (who may, like me, not really know what to say).


----------



## gdleeds

Spoke to Fiona late last night.. mobiles ok in ward.. and she reminded me of a pledge we made here a while ago that I had forgotten about on an item SADDLE TRAMP posted regarding our soldier OUR HERO`S what a woman! so mod please contact me or I know I`l get hell when she gets home



gdleeds said:


> We watched the TV program last night and the tears were flowing with with both Fiona and myself.
> 
> With regards to the donations to this charity that MHF is going to create, we want to kick start the donations and pledge £100.
> 
> Would the MOD or whoever is organising please take note and request by PM or open forum when required or where to send.
> 
> Seasons greetings to all, especially `our` boys away fighting.
> 
> Graham & Fiona


Link
So today we have the biopsy, so I have a few hours spare that I think I`d better spend cleaning and polishing if she is back home tomorrow she will expect the house to be bright and fresh.... not that's its not its just that when a blokes by himself its surprising how the washing up mounts up... strange that!!
Feeling stronger this morning, must just say though when I`m with Fiona I am strong, cheerful and positive, its just when I`m alone with my thoughts that I get upset and tend to distract myself here or maybe use this blog as a release, anyway as said previously it does help me
regards
Graham


----------



## locovan

Graham you use the forum to release the tension inside --I do as everyone knows by now.
It sounds like Fiona has the positive thoughts to get through this as I find most patients have and the Macmillian nurses are wonderful and help you through every step, you will realise just what a wonderful job they do.
I hope the bi-op goes well for her and that the Tumour is benign.
You have a wait to find out ---thats what you find the waiting is always the 
hardest part.
Ray and I will be thinking of you both and so will this forum keep strong and get that housework done :wink:


----------



## zulurita

I am sorry to read your post. At least you and Fiona now know what you are dealing with.

Please give Fiona my best wishes and I pray all goes well today.


----------



## MrsW

Oh Graham! This is the news I had feared for some time, but hoped not to hear (I worked as a neurosurgical nurse earlier in my career). My heart goes out to you both and to your family. I hope the biopsy goes well today and that Fiona gets home for the weekend to a **** and span house! Yes, it is important that she comes home to find it clean and tidy,not just so she doesn't feel she needs to do the cleaning when she walks in, but also so that she knows you can cope. 

However, it is important that you keep some time for yourself so that you do not burn out and so that you have the strength to support Fiona. Do please take some time to go for a walk or go to the pub or pound the streets, or......., well it really doesn't matter what, just have some time for yourself! 

I hope that the treatment to come will not be too arduous either for Fiona or for the rest of you. I am sure that whatever the biopsy shows there will be good and bad days ahead, but be sure that we are all here to offer support and a listening ear. There is little else that we can do practically but we are here and all of us are standing just behind you. 

You will all remain in my thoughts and prayers in the days and weeks ahead.


----------



## mygalnme

Words are sometimes so inadequate, but I'm sure all the response you have been getting has helped and letting go your emotions on here will help. I know from past experience to stamp,scream shout somewhere then go back in calm and deal with the situation, helps. Best Wishes to you and your family in this difficult time.
Margaret


----------



## motorhomer2

Here's hoping all goes well today Fiona. We are thinking of you both at this very traumatic & difficult time.


Motorhomer2


----------



## ThePrisoner

Graham, believe me you are not alone. There are so many people who do truly care. I am sure many on this forum alone would take away your sorrow if they could.

Love and very best wishes to you both and hope everything goes well.

Tom and Lynn

P.S. Hugs for the boys too.


----------



## gdleeds

12.00 and Fiona called again to say operation delayed due to RTA so she is ready and just waiting to be called.. the op will take a number of hours so I`m trying to fill the time the best I can, went out and got the car stuck, thankfully I have handy neighbours, not told them yet, went to ASDA with a list, glad one of the girls there came to help as I had been wondering round in a daze with a piece of paper in my hand, searching but not seeing, didn't help when they played some of our favourite music... still got me out the house, went and had a cry with one of my old members of staff, a lovely girl who who is a brick, could only manage 5 mins, so back home just waiting for the call to say she is going down to theater
What a long day but like many of you have said its the start of a new chapter in our lives, married for over 35 years and worked together in our own business for over 30 years so been together 24/7 for quite some time
Phone going so off now


----------



## richardjames

Many thanks for the update - how frustrating with the delay - keep your chin up :lol:


----------



## Penquin

Just one little thought about the delay which always seems to be very lengthy and "why are they doing it to us" questions continue to pass through!

One of the reasons why they *can* delay is because Fiona is in a better state than the casualties from the rtc. That may not be a major relief but it is one thought to hold on to.

Don't forget that if you are struggling with shopping (and which of us likes to find our way round the supermarkets........ not a sexist comment though before anyone interprets it as such :! you can use the on-line ordering and delivery service which may well save you some hours of searching.

Best wshes and we all hope the biopsy passes smoothly,

Dave


----------



## JockandRita

Hello Graham & Fiona, 

I couldn't get online in time to wish Fiona all the best with the biopsy, however, Rita and I hope that the procedure goes well, after the initial delay is over, and that the results are speedily conveyed to both you, Fiona, and the lads, asap.

We hope that Fiona is able to come home and relax, whilst keeping her mind occupied with pleasanter thoughts. Appreciated, that is easier said than done. 

Under the circumstances, I think penquin's suggestion re online shopping may well be your best option for now, or get one, or both of the lads to go shopping with you. Good luck with all things "domestic." 

We'll be keeping a hopeful eye for good news on the thread. Please give Fiona our very best wishes.

Kindest regards,

Jock & Rita.


----------



## xgx

gdleeds said:


> ...went to ASDA with a list, glad one of the girls there came to help as I had been wondering round in a daze with a piece of paper in my hand, searching but not seeing...


Sounds familiar ...applies to most blokes :lol:

Seriously, forget the on-line shopping... you need to get out and about rather than stay in and fret...

.... it's worked for women for aeons, our time has come...

Make the most of the 'helpless' bit :wink: :lol: :lol:

(Very best wishes to you both)


----------



## zulurita

How frustrating to have another delay. 

Waiting to hear how things have gone always seems to be a "long time" keeping busy is good but do remember to take "time out" don't forget to eat and the boys will help you also.


----------



## SaddleTramp

I heard youre feeling blue today
And wanted you to know
Friends are all around you
Till the dark skies are to go
When you're down and want to smile
But havent found the strength
Just open up this little post
And feel the love Ive sent


----------



## Suenliam

I haven't posted before in this thread although I have spent time thinking of your predicament. Like others I am not sure what to say other than there are lots out there and in here thinking of you both.

Actually it brought to mind an old school friend of mine (shows it was long ago). Her mother had a brain tumour removed when we were in the sixth form. Even then (early sixtys) she made a full recovery and the best bit was her hair grew back thick, strong and all the grey had gone!

Sue


----------



## dawnwynne

Just to let you know I'm thinking of you both. Stay strong.


----------



## Jezport

Hi Graham,

Just caught up with your thread, I am sorry to hear the latest news. 

I went throught all this with my dad, all the delays, all the worry and waiting. He had his operation and they did a biopsy and removed a large amount of his tumour at the same time. He came out of the operation with no problems atall. The team at the LGI are the best. 

I have done a lot of reading up on brain tumours and help with a brain tumour charity.

You have my number, call me if you need a chat. My mobile is on 24/7.
If you need anything I am only local, don't hesitate to cotact me.

Regards
Jez


----------



## gdleeds

*Fiona 14th Jan*

Went down to the LGI just after lunch, Fiona had had all here preps also had the heavy frame fixed to her head for the CT scan she had to have prior to op, well missed her going down so set of for a Costa coffee only to be stopped by a porter 5 floors up to say `oh just seen your wife on trolley outside x ray` now how many people work at the LGI I know she is gorgeous and bubbly but to be recognized whilst wearing her silence of the lambs impersonation is great.
So waited and walked back to ward with her being pushed by her surgeon... taking over porters job!
So we had to wait another hour or so but finally at 5.00pm we went down to theater,
8.00pm the surgeon appears `where is she` must be in post op, so before he rushes off to find her, he explained he was extremely pleased with the way the op went and as soon as he has the diagnosis from the lab he will call us in to discuss how we are going to move forward with Fiona.
He wants to keep her in just to monitor her Epilepsy and make sure the drugs are doing there job correctly.
So at 8.30 my little gladiator appears back in the ward, full of Morphine, but does recognise me when she opened her eyes for a little while, so for the next hour the nurses looked after her whilst I probably got in the way holding her hand.. lots of call and texts so when she settled and dozed off I made my way home..
Spoke to all I could, one son had taken a Meat & Potato pie round to mine,that he made himself, delicious it was. 
So that's part one now complete next week we start part two

.. to be contined..........

regards to you all
Fiona and Graham


----------



## dawnwynne

What a beautiful picture.

So glad stage one is complete and Fiona is now resting. Hope you can get some rest now in preparation for part 2. 

Thanks for keeping us posted, we are all thinking of you and your family.


----------



## Penquin

Thank you very much for taking the time to update us with her progress so far - it certainly sounds as if the op went very well so far and the progress is good.

Thank you also for posting the lovely picture of her - set on a pinnacle  .

I am pleased that the meat pie was good - it is always a lovely feeling when something good that is unexpected suddenly appears - and it sounds like the ie was well received!

Please pass on our best wishes for continued progress nd we all look forward to the next few weeks improvements.

Dave


----------



## gdleeds

*Frame to head*

I got a PM asking about the frame to Fiona`s head

This frame is used so that no movement of the head is made whilst having the scan, its part of a locking mechanism whilst laid on the CT scan trolley.
Usually one would have a anesthetic for the fitting as it its screwed by four piercing screws directly into the skull to hold it in place.
As Fiona was due her operation the anethstatist did not want her having two lots of anesthetic, so the surgeons actually fitted it to her head whilst on the ward, was told by her bed mates that she did get stressed.. and was rather loud!!! but surgeon kept telling her she was being brave
Good job I was not on ward at the time, so this has now left 4 pin holes which will soon mend, she was more concerned about her hair prior to op than the op itself... just like a woman


----------



## JockandRita

*Re: Fiona 14th Jan*



gdleeds said:


> Went down to the LGI just after lunch, Fiona had had all here preps also had the heavy frame fixed to her head for the CT scan she had to have prior to op, well missed her going down so set of for a Costa coffee only to be stopped by a porter 5 floors up to say `oh just seen your wife on trolley outside x ray` now how many people work at the LGI I know she is gorgeous and bubbly but to be recognized whilst wearing her silence of the lambs impersonation is great.
> So waited and walked back to ward with her being pushed by her surgeon... taking over porters job!
> So we had to wait another hour or so but finally at 5.00pm we went down to theater,
> 8.00pm the surgeon appears `where is she` must be in post op, so before he rushes off to find her, he explained he was extremely pleased with the way the op went and as soon as he has the diagnosis from the lab he will call us in to discuss how we are going to move forward with Fiona.
> He wants to keep her in just to monitor her Epilepsy and make sure the drugs are doing there job correctly.
> So at 8.30 my little gladiator appears back in the ward, full of Morphine, but does recognise me when she opened her eyes for a little while, so for the next hour the nurses looked after her whilst I probably got in the way holding her hand.. lots of call and texts so when she settled and dozed off I made my way home..
> Spoke to all I could, one son had taken a Meat & Potato pie round to mine,that he made himself, delicious it was.
> So that's part one now complete next week we start part two
> 
> .. to be contined..........
> 
> regards to you all
> Fiona and Graham


Now, that's the sort of news we want to hear. Thanks for keeping us all updated Graham.

What a smashing photo. You're a lucky chap. :wink:

We will look forward to hearing more good news, as stage two falls into place.

Kindest regards, and our very best to Fiona when you see her today.

Jock & Rita.


----------



## sallytrafic

Married 35 years eh must have been cradle snatching


----------



## locovan

So pleased stage 1 is out of the way now we all wait to hear the results.
Good luck to you both. :wink:


----------



## lalala

Our continued thoughts and best wishes. We too know someone who came out of a similar situation and made a full recovery. It sounds as if you are both being positive, and as attitude seems to make an enormous difference when people are ill, this sense of being positive will help to see you both through,
thank you for keeping us informed,
lala


----------



## zulurita

Glad Fiona is safely through stage 1.

Love the photo of Fiona. Hope Fiona will be let home today.

Take care and look after yourself and give Fiona our best wishes.


----------



## Jezport

*Re: Fiona 14th Jan*



gdleeds said:


> Went down to the LGI just after lunch, Fiona had had all here preps also had the heavy frame fixed to her head for the CT scan she had to have prior to op, well missed her going down so set of for a Costa coffee only to be stopped by a porter 5 floors up to say `oh just seen your wife on trolley outside x ray` now how many people work at the LGI I know she is gorgeous and bubbly but to be recognized whilst wearing her silence of the lambs impersonation is great.
> So waited and walked back to ward with her being pushed by her surgeon... taking over porters job!
> So we had to wait another hour or so but finally at 5.00pm we went down to theater,
> 8.00pm the surgeon appears `where is she` must be in post op, so before he rushes off to find her, he explained he was extremely pleased with the way the op went and as soon as he has the diagnosis from the lab he will call us in to discuss how we are going to move forward with Fiona.
> He wants to keep her in just to monitor her Epilepsy and make sure the drugs are doing there job correctly.
> So at 8.30 my little gladiator appears back in the ward, full of Morphine, but does recognise me when she opened her eyes for a little while, so for the next hour the nurses looked after her whilst I probably got in the way holding her hand.. lots of call and texts so when she settled and dozed off I made my way home..
> Spoke to all I could, one son had taken a Meat & Potato pie round to mine,that he made himself, delicious it was.
> So that's part one now complete next week we start part two
> 
> .. to be contined..........
> 
> regards to you all
> Fiona and Graham


That does sound like good news, Fingers crossed for a good result to the biopsy. Certain tumours respond well to treatment.


----------



## neilanddot

Graham and Fiona, So pleased that stage one has been successful and that everyone is on board. It is so interesting to hear how long you two have been together, Dot and I married in 72 and we too worked together in our own business and were together 24/7 just like you and Fiona and it has created a wonderful strong bond. 
As the numbers of posts show we are all following Fiona's progress and look forward to a full recovery, keep the posts coming as we are so involved. with love from Neil and Dot


----------



## catzontour

Thank you for the update. So glad to hear that the first bit is over and done with and fingers crossed for the next stage.

Best wishes to you all.

Catz


----------



## richardjames

Keep the 'good' news coming :lol:


----------



## gdleeds

Saw my little Gladiator today for a few hours, she is weak as one would expect, tires easily but her appetite is up and she is managing to eat.
Spoke with the Surgeon and he is happy with her progress and has promised to get the results asap so a decision can be taken with regard to what we do next.
They have decided to keep her in until at least Monday so that she can be monitored with regard to any minor seizures, and get the drug level right so stop them, if possible.
Next week is the big test for us, what my little Gladiator has gone through in the last 24 hours is enough, but there may be more to come and that would be major.... so we wait and hope and pray and hold hands and say silly little things

sorry got to go


----------



## zulurita

Thank you for the update Graham,

Thinking and praying for you both. At least Fiona is being monitored and lets hope the results come soon.


----------



## Groper

Just caught up with your topic.I know the surgeon has probably already told you that not all tumours are malignant and the possibility is that if the tumour is removed all will be well.If it is bad news stay positive and think of all the advances in treatment and success stories. 
Although we have not met your continuing updates and bravery make me realise my problems pale into insignifance. 
Also brings back happy memories for me when you say LGI -I worked there and at the Hospital for Women many years ago. 
Hope the result of the biopsy is good news. 

Clive


----------



## lindyloot

Thanks for the update and all was well with biopsy take care Rich and Lin


----------



## Penquin

It is really good of you to take time out to keep us all up to date with Fiona's progress, it is good to hear that progress so far is good, although there may well be ups and downs at times.

It is most important that you are there for her whenever and wherever she needs so please do not ever feel unhappy if you simply do not have time to post. That will probably become even more necessary next week, when she comes back she will still be weak and will need help to do even the simplest things.

I do not know enough about the underlying problem to be able to comment - but the consultant is obviously doing his best to offer what reassurance he can - no-one knows what the future brings for any of us, so all you can do is support her and wait for what will hopefully, be good news next week.

Dave


----------



## MrsW

Graham I did not get on here last night to check on Fiona's progress as I was at work till 23.30, but Penquin kept me updated. I cannot express enough just how much I admire both you and Fiona for your braveness. Your graphic descriptions of what is happening for you both brings back to me the time I spent as a neurosurgical nurse. I am so pleased that Fiona coped through the insertion of the bolts for the head brace (did it look a bit like this? http://tiny.cc/6nQrW ) and the biopsy.

I will not make any platitudes about the outcome of the biopsy, but will say that if any of us could have any influence on the result we would all be wishing her a benign result. Whatever the result we are all standing behind you both and wishing you both well. I hope that the epilim dose is effective in controlling her symptoms, but I must say, I am glad she had the seizures last week so that the tumor was identified and could be treated, rather than masked by increasing doses of anti-epileptics.

You both remain in my thoughts and prayers.


----------



## Jezport

gdleeds said:


> Saw my little Gladiator today for a few hours, she is weak as one would expect, tires easily but her appetite is up and she is managing to eat.
> Spoke with the Surgeon and he is happy with her progress and has promised to get the results asap so a decision can be taken with regard to what we do next.
> They have decided to keep her in until at least Monday so that she can be monitored with regard to any minor seizures, and get the drug level right so stop them, if possible.
> Next week is the big test for us, what my little Gladiator has gone through in the last 24 hours is enough, but there may be more to come and that would be major.... so we wait and hope and pray and hold hands and say silly little things
> 
> sorry got to go


Hi Graham anf Fiona,

The good thing is they now know what was causing the seizures and can treat them with the correct drugs to hopefully stop them happening. Once you have the results of the biopsy you will be in a position to fight back and beat this thing.

Keep strong, you have a lot of people supporting you!


----------



## xgx

gdleeds said:


> ... and say silly little things


_Diagnosis: _ Love

_Treatment:_ more of same, to be taken frequently

[no excuses now, you've the whole weekend to get the DTs sorted]


----------



## JockandRita

gdleeds said:


> Saw my little Gladiator today


That little affectionate term strikes a chord with me. I too have one of them. Her name is Rita, and she has been to hell and back, twice, (not cancerous, but certainly life threatening), and not once did she ever think that all was lost. (Well, certainly not conveyed to me that is, but that's women in general, isn't it? :wink: ).

You and Fiona have to stay positive, for whatever next week's events throw at you, and God willing, you'll both come through it, and be able to relate your joint experiences to others, through joy and laughter.

Rita and I do wish you both, the very best that can come your way.

Although I don't make it commonly known, I am in communication with your man "upstairs", and will be having a wee word with him, on Fiona's behalf.

Kindest regards,

Jock & Rita.


----------



## gdleeds

*Results of Biopsy*

Last night we were given the results of the biopsy by the surgeon......

I really don't know how to start or explain, but like him I think it best I be open
The results were that the Tumour is Malignant, it location makes it impossible to operate.
The name of the Tumour is Astrocytomas and is a Grade 3

Fiona was so calm whilst we talked with the Doctors, she showed a beautiful quite dignity,,, whilst I fell to pieces
Later in the evening I had to leave to tell the boys, whilst away she called me to tell me she must write letters to our four Grandchildren so they would have a memory of her.......
Back on the ward later she still was very calm, strong and full of love for our family
She was given Temazepam to help her sleep and was concerned she may become addicted... what a woman
for those who may be interested I have added this link from Cancer research >>astrocytomas<<
Staff at the LGI have been wonderfull, now we will move on to St James Hospital on Monday to looked after by ther oncology people.
I may have said this previously but I still feel all this is Sureal, it has all happened so quickley, to a healthy young woman
I would like to take this oportunity of thanking everyone here who has given us their support, I dont know when or if I will be making more bloggs after this one.
God bless Fiona

regards
Graham


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## dawnwynne

Graham

I'm so sorry about your news. My thoughts and prayers are with you, Fiona and the boys.


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## mandyandandy

We will all be thinking about you both and giving as much support as we can. 

No idea why this song came to mind when reading through your last message but thought I would post it. 

I'm only human, I'm just a woman. 
Help me believe in what I could be 
And all that I am. 
Show me the stairway, I have to climb. 
Lord for my sake, teach me to take 
One day at a time. 

Chorus: 
One day at a time sweet Jesus 
That's all I'm asking from you. 
Just give me the strength 
To do everyday what I have to do. 
Yesterday's gone sweet Jesus 
And tomorrow may never be mine. 
Lord help me today, show me the way 
One day at a time. 

take care
Mandy


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## Penquin

That is devastating news and I am so sorry that it has come to this. Thank you for sharing it with us - particularly at such a traumatic time. There is very little that any of us can say that could in any way match the dignity and courage that both of you are showing.

It is most important that both of you can talk about the blow and where you go from here - her thoughts about writing letters to the grandchildren is a superb suggestion, perhaps a photograph album could be put together over the next few weeks and months that will contain pictures of her and the grandchildren so that each of the grandchildren (I am not sure how many boys/girls you have or what ages) can have a special memory book of her.

Please be aware that all of us are thinking and praying for Fiona and also for your whole family as they face this battle. We will totally understand if posting news becomes difficult but we will be here whenever you need a small escape.

Keep safe and keep strong - Fiona will need your ongoing support and you hers - she has amazing courage, long may this last.

I will of course, let MrsW know as soon as she awakes, I am certain that she will be in touch.

Dave

PS I have made this a stickey so that it will hopefully remain more visible.


----------



## sallytrafic

Devastating news Graham our thoughts are with you and Fiona I have read the link and really can't find anything more to say at the moment except that as time is now so precious you must make the best use of it that you can.

Take inspiration from Mavis and others.


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## zulurita

Penquin said:


> That is devastating news and I am so sorry that it has come to this. Thank you for sharing it with us - particularly at such a traumatic time. There is very little that any of us can say that could in any way match the dignity and courage that both of you are showing.
> 
> It is most important that both of you can talk about the blow and where you go from here - her thoughts about writing letters to the grandchildren is a superb suggestion, perhaps a photograph album could be put together over the next few weeks and months that will contain pictures of her and the grandchildren so that each of the grandchildren (I am not sure how many you have or what ages) can have a special memory book of her.
> 
> Please be aware that all of us are thinking and praying for Fiona and also for your whole family as they face this battle. We will totally understand if posting news becomes difficult but we will be here whenever you need a small escape.
> 
> Keep safe and keep strong - Fiona will need your ongoing support and you hers - she has amazing courage, long may this last.
> 
> I will of course, let MrsW know as soon as she awakes, I am certain that she will be in touch.
> 
> Dave
> 
> PS I have made this a stickey so that it will hopefully remain more visible.


 

I don't know what to say, Dave has encompassed much of what I would like to say.

I pray for you and Fiona and the boys.


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## patp

Thinking of you at this difficult time.

The beauty of the internet and this forum is that whenever you feel the need and have the strength you can put your thoughts and worries down and feel a little lighter.

Pat


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## DABurleigh

That is dreadful. How quickly things happen. Thinking of you.

Dave


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## Briarose

Graham I am so sorry. I have tears in my eyes now reading your post, I was so hoping when I saw you had posted the latest news that it would be good news. 

Please give Fiona all my prayers and thoughts. I can understand how surreal it must all feel for you and it certainly makes me stop and think.

I really don't know what else to say to you right now, other than we are here for you. Nette


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## Jezport

Hi Graham,

I know how you are both feeling at the moment as I have been through it all. 

You must keep positive, remember that a Grade 3 Astracytoma is treatable and certainly not highest malignancy. I read about a lot or people who get over them and live a normal life.

If you need anything just shout.

Jez


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## lalala

Graham and Fiona
I am so sorry. Your courage is immense.
lala


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## locovan

Well Im up and have read this and even Im lost for words.
I know when I had the devastating news that I was terminal it was very unreal and couldnt come to term's with it which made eveyone around me think I was coping with the news when really everything goes into disbelief and nature takes over.
But I have been just living from one Hopital appointment to the next and doing everything Im told to do.

Graham I think its Ray that should write here as he --like you has gone through the same shock and the same feelings.
Still have postive feelings as you make plans to enjoy the time you have together. I always say Im lucky because if I had a heart attack thats it but knowing the worst gives me time to put everything right in my world.
Get Fiona onto the Macmillian site where she can research and find people with the same Cancer and she will find comfort in talking to them and we all help each other.
I have even helped a man who completly gave up and who refused Chemo and now he is going to have it --as I say we help each other.
Is Fiona going to have Chemo? are they going to try to shrink the tumour?

I suggest she starts a blog like I have where you put your thoughts and then gradually you realise its not all medical things you are thinking about but even taking up a new hobby, would you believe, as I have now got heavily involved in the history of my area and Im taken photo's of my walks we still do each day with the dog.
I listen to nature more and everything has become a delight to me.
Another dawn, another sunset, the stillness of the sea, and the anger on a windy day, the Windfarm in the sun, my Ray asleep , Oh the list is endless to me I think what Im trying to say how precious the world has come to me when I have been told Im going to loose it.
I dont know how to finish this but I suppose it is what we all should do Live everyday as if it was your last.
My love to Fiona, yourself and your family.

http://community.macmillan.org.uk/whatsnew/default.aspx


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## teljoy

*Re: Results of Biopsy*

Graham

I don't know you personally but Fiona's story has affected me as it has a lot of others in this community. I don't have the words for this situation but remember miracles can happen and if the combined will of the MHF club can help it will. Don't stop talking to us, I'm sure it helps.

Terry


----------



## geraldandannie

Hi Graham

Devastating news. It sounds like your Fiona is a practical, strong woman, and you need to be strong too, to support her with the rest of your family. Take heart from Jez's post, and from Mavis.

Our thoughts are with you and your family and close friends.

Gerald and Annie


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## MrsW

Graham I am just gutted to read this thread this morning. I too had hoped for good news when you posted next, and am very sad to hear that Fiona has an astrocytoma. Nothing I can say will lessen the grief and shock you must be facing today. All I can suggest is that you live for today and make the most of the days when Fiona is relatively well. For the times when we may be able to offer help and support, we are here, waiting in the wings for you. I hope we will not feel intrusive in your life at this time; that is something none of us would want, but be assured that there is an enormous network of people here willing Fiona to do well and get strong!

I think her idea of writing to your grandchildren so they have something to remember her by is a fantastic idea. I would like to suggest that she may like to make a "memory box" for each of them; a box into which she puts a few special things for each child. These need not be things of great value, perhaps a photo of something they did together, a scarf she liked to wear, a favourite scent, etc etc. It is something she could do with the children if they are old enough or that the two of you could do together for the grandchildren. You might find this link helpful. 
http://tiny.cc/hcEG4

Please send Fiona my good wishes and remind her that she, you and your whole family will be in my thoughts and prayers over the coming days and months.


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## KeiththeBigUn

Dear Graham and Fiona,

I am deeply saddened by your news. Although I am not sure that we have met I feel that I know you both so well from following this thread. 

Our thoughts and prayers are with you. 

Keith and Ros


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## lindyloot

Graham, I am gobsmaked at your news even though we have never met through reading your posts we feel a connection with you both (as you know our situation ). Trying to read this to Rich I was choked with emotion. Give our love to Fiona and a hug to you from us. 
Regards Rich and Lin


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## wattsy1uk

To Graham and Fiona,

I have only just read your post and although I have never met either of you, cannot comprehend what you are going through.

Someone once told me that you are never sent more than you can deal with - maybe you can be both take some comfort in that and use it to channel your fight.

I am a long way south from you but if there anything I can do for you both please let me know. You are both in my thoughts.

Sarah


----------



## CliffyP

Hello Graham
Again we have never met but please as posted by Jezport, if there is anything at all anyone can do at any time please do not hesitate to ask.

Words are never enough to someone who is feeling the pain you are feeling, everyone on here without exception is here to support you though if ever needed.

Kindest regards
Pat & Cliff


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## xgx

I _hope_ this brings some comfort to you both... when I did my falling apart bit my GP was great.... just a few simple words

there is always hope...

Now... time to start planning an outing in the m/h for when Fiona is stabilised, nothing too taxing, just a simple weekend together with love and a bit of indulgence (that's for Fiona ...you're doing the work :wink: )


----------



## JockandRita

gdleeds said:


> Last night we were given the results of the biopsy by the surgeon......
> 
> I really don't know how to start or explain, but like him I think it best I be open
> The results were that the Tumour is Malignant, it location makes it impossible to operate.
> The name of the Tumour is Astrocytomas and is a Grade 3
> 
> Fiona was so calm whilst we talked with the Doctors, she showed a beautiful quite dignity,,, whilst I fell to pieces
> Later in the evening I had to leave to tell the boys, whilst away she called me to tell me she must write letters to our four Grandchildren so they would have a memory of her.......
> Back on the ward later she still was very calm, strong and full of love for our family
> She was given Temazepam to help her sleep and was concerned she may become addicted... what a woman
> for those who may be interested I have added this link from Cancer research >>astrocytomas<<
> Staff at the LGI have been wonderfull, now we will move on to St James Hospital on Monday to looked after by ther oncology people.
> I may have said this previously but I still feel all this is Sureal, it has all happened so quickley, to a healthy young woman
> I would like to take this oportunity of thanking everyone here who has given us their support, I dont know when or if I will be making more bloggs after this one.
> God bless Fiona
> 
> regards
> Graham


Dear Graham & Fiona,

I am sorry that I could not reply, when I read your post at 07.00, (school transport contracts), but I was thinking about what I had read whilst driving, and trying to find the words to say when I got home.
Alas, I am at a total loss for words. I am so sorry that Fiona's diagnosis has come to this. Rita too has just read your post, and is unusually silent whilst taking it in. We are both saddened by this news. Thankyou for the link to the condition, which we have read, having no previous knowledge about it.

An awful lot of what Mavis, Mrs W, Penquin, and others have written, sounds like good practical advice. 
I do understand that in these situations every one reacts differently, and it's what you and Fiona find the most comfort and strength from, that matters most.

On behalf of Rita and myself, we send our very best wishes and sentiments, and praying that "your man upstairs" will show mercy and shine a light to a miracle for you both, and the lads.

Sincerest and kindest regards,

Jock & Rita.


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## Zebedee

Thank you Jock

I tried to reply several times but just do not know what to say.

I can only echo your words to Graham and Fiona.

Dave


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## Jezport

Another thing that has come into my mind is when my Dad was diagnosed with a Grade 4 Glioglastima. When lots of his patients came into his shop.(he was an Optician) many of them said that they would pray for him, and many were in tears. The thing that made my family feel stronger through this was knowing that so many people were praying for him and the fact that they were from every conceivable religion gave us extra strength to fight our battle.

Here on MHF you have the same thing, lots of poeple praying for Fionas Fast recovery, and I know that it will help to get you all through this.


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## UncleNorm

Dear Graham and Fiona, 

I am desperately disappointed by your devastating news. I had hoped for better. All I can do now is reassure you both that my thoughts are with you at this sad time. Let's all hope that there is some treatment available.


----------



## Mistemina

Dear Graham & Fiona,

I am so sorry to hear your devastating news. I have followed Fiona's 'journey' never thinking for one moment that the results would be so terrible. 
Although I am a new MH owner therefore new to the forum I feel compelled to reply to your recent posting.
Treatment is improving all the time and palliative care can make a great difference to quality of life. I hope with all my heart that once the initial shock has subsided, you will both be able to cherish some very special moments with your family - and have some wonderful trips in your MH.
Never give up hope and live for the day.

You are in my thoughts and prayers.

Martina xxx


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## SaddleTramp

What can one say at a time like this, I wish I could send some strength and Love and amongst other things Health to you, But I cannot, so I will give you all my love and wishes and I am so very very sorry.


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## ThursdaysChild

God bless you both.


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## suedew

Graham and Fiona, my thoughts are with you both. so many people have put it into words much better than i ever could, Mavis and Jock and Rita, to name but 2.
Have watched the thread from the start, like so many others hoping for better news before posting.
Keep us posted about Fiona 
Sue


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## sylke

Dear Graham & Fiona, I have just read your post today for the first time I hope & pray that you will both have a miracle happen as we did on Tuesday. My brother was taken into hospital at new year & he was diagnosed with a broken back and breathing difficulties. Monday we were asked to go to see him as he wouldn't make it through the night,it was horrendous to see him like it. Still the doctors & nurses worked tirelessly to alleviate his pain. Tuesday morning he was propped up in bed eating grapes & none of us could believe the miracle we were seeing. We know he won't make a full recovery, but at least we have hope now. So you see miracles do happen and I will pray you both get your miracle.
Sylv x


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## Telbell

Wishing all of you the strength and determination to come through this.

Best wishes


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## richardjames

Graham
I am so saddened by the latest news life is so cruel and so unfair. Grab each and every moment you can. Life has to be put on hold for a while and remember you have a whole gang rooting for you - keep your chin up


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## bonnieboo

Our thought are with you

Jakki & Brian


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## jakjon

Our thoughts are with you both

Jackie John


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## ruffingitsmoothly

Hi Graham thinking of you both I know exactlywhat you are going through be strong.

Regards Pat


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## mygalnme

Oh what dreadful news and what to say :?: :?: I bet no one was able to read it without swallowing hard. Our Love and thoughts are with you and Fiona and your family.


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## Rapide561

*Fiona*

Graham and Fiona

I can only echo what others have said.

Russell


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## CaGreg

Graham and Fiona, We are so sorry for the bad news that you received. All we can do is pray for you both..

Best wishes,
Ca and Greg


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## gdleeds

Fiona is home with me now, tired but happy
we received an email from one of her mothers Church friends giving her support and suggesting that the surprise birthday party for her mum, be cancelled
yes Fiona even though ill has arranged an 80th birthday party at the Devonshire Arms at Bolton Abbey for next weekend

Well Fiona had me mail her straight back to let her and the rest of her Church friends know the party is still on.
Fiona will probably do a quick guest appearance but there is no way she is cancelling the event, as she is looking forward to a weekend away in a luxury Dales Hotel.
She is being positive in her outlook and is determined not to let this `issue` stop her enjoying life to the full for as long as she is able.

The boys and their families have been wonderful
We are making plans to get away and fully enjoy our time together and look upon this as our new challenge for 2010.
regards
Graham


----------



## DTPCHEMICALS

It has taken me all day to post but I feel I hve to make a contribution.
We are still realing from our familly losses of the last 5 years. Strangley the ages have been 20 years, 45 years, 54 years 59 and and 80 years. All losses with no history of illness.
You will be angry ,you will be lost in your head, you will feel that life is unfair.
We all reach an age where we feel that we can enjoy our spouses company more due to the kids leaving home, no parents to care foretc.
Then the big belt hits us.
At this time whatever you do , do what Fiona wants. If she feels like going to the Caribean, just go.
Enjoy each other like never before, thats love.

We have never met but if there is anything i can do just pm.

Dave p


----------



## richardjames

I echo Dave p's comments - enjoy each other and make the most of everything


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## carol

Graham and Fiona.

I have been following this from the beginning, but I have been away in Germany - but woke this morning to have a quick check and felt really upset for your news.... I have been unable to think of anything else on my journey home.

I can say nothing to add what others have already said, but having lost 5 friends in 4 years, back in the 80's from various illnesses, all between the ages of 38 and 52, it made me realise that one cannot plan for the - when I retire - we may not make it, so we bought our motorhome back in 1990 and I have never regretted it. You will have your memories from your previous trips and you will now be able to build even more precious ones of the time to come, enjoy them all.... they will hopefully comfort you in the future.

My sincere best wishes to you both....

Carol


----------



## xgx

gdleeds said:


> Fiona is home with me now, tired but happy....


Good to hear that!! (the home and happy not the tired bit :wink: )



> We are making plans to get away ...


even better... 'Normal service will be resumed as soon as possible'

It would be inappropriate for me to hug either of you... so best you give each other a hug on my behalf :lol:


----------



## 96299

Hi Graham

Fiona sounds like a very brave lady and a real fighter, the very best of luck to you both.

Steve


----------



## Invicta

We now have two very brave, positive fighters here in the MHF fraternity, Mavis and now Fiona.

They are an inspiration to us all and are constantly in our thoughts and prayers, together with their respective other halves.

I do hope the party at the Devonshire Arms goes well Fiona and Graham. Though I am from way down south, (well south- east actually), I know the area around there well, my sister-in-law living in Addingham and cousins in Bingley.

Peggy


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## dawnwynne

Graham 

I was in so much shock yesterday morning that I didn't know what to say so said very little. 

I'm glad Fiona is home and happy. She's got a fight on her hands but she sounds just like the right person to take it on. 

May I also make a suggestion that if you don't already have one you get a camcorder and take lots of film of your adventures together.

As many others have said we are all here if you ever need anything.

Dawn


----------



## Penquin

Hi Graham and Fiona,

I am really pleased that Fiona is now where she should be - back and fighting, surrounded by those that love her. I totally agree with her saying ""go ahead with the party" - such things are essential to normal life.

I do hope she enjoys a weekend in luxury - the Dales are very picturesque and there are some great places around there from our restricted visits to that area.

I hope that provides the first of many such enjoyable times ahead - as together you can assemble some really positive memories and treasures. The suggestion of a camcorder is excellent - along with the other suggestions of photograph albums, memory boxes and so on - all of which will build up a lasting heritage for your grandchildren (and of course children).

Thank you also for taking the time to post on here - as you realise there are a very large number of people who are offering support in whatever way they feel able - I do hope that your idea of a watercolour painting course comes to fruition so that we can meet in "glorious Devon" - or next door in Somerset.

Best wishes to both of you,

Dave


----------



## zulurita

gdleeds said:


> Fiona is home with me now, tired but happy
> we received an email from one of her mothers Church friends giving her support and suggesting that the surprise birthday party for her mum, be cancelled
> yes Fiona even though ill has arranged an 80th birthday party at the Devonshire Arms at Bolton Abbey for next weekend
> 
> Well Fiona had me mail her straight back to let her and the rest of her Church friends know the party is still on.
> Fiona will probably do a quick guest appearance but there is no way she is cancelling the event, as she is looking forward to a weekend away in a luxury Dales Hotel.
> She is being positive in her outlook and is determined not to let this `issue` stop her enjoying life to the full for as long as she is able.
> 
> The boys and their families have been wonderful
> We are making plans to get away and fully enjoy our time together and look upon this as our new challenge for 2010.
> regards
> Graham


So glad Fiona is back home with you.

What a brave lady. Enjoy the party next week-end and all that luxury 

Thinking of you both.


----------



## annetony

I am so sorry to hear the news about Fiona but I am glad that you are all together at home, 

What a brave lady to go ahead with the party for her Mum, I have never met either of you but that doesn't matter, I still feel like I know you both a little,

Both Tony and wish you both the very best and send our love,we will be praying for you all--now go and spend some lovely quality time together


Anne & Tony


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## Freddiebooks

I learned of the latest news yesterday and could think of nothing to write. 

24 hours later i still can think of nothing. My thoughts whilst at work today were... 

How on earth do Graham and Fiona get a nights sleep living with this torture in there lives ? And when you do sleep, if you dream of something lovely, when you wake and that split second of being conscious the dream was real, then reality clicks in, and your having to face the reality of this cruel condition. 

That must be such a horrible feeling.

I hope all goes as well as it possibly can.

Freddiebooks


----------



## AndrewandShirley

Whilst we have never met my heart goes out to you at this really difficult time.

Really there is nothing we can say to ease your pain.

We both wish you well.

I am sure as many others have wriiten, if there is anything you need at this sad time we will do our best to help you both. Please do not be affarid to ask the forum.


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## gdleeds

*Friday 22nd Jan 2010*

Tonight we sat and read the messages you have kindly posted.
This has been Fiona`s first full day back home, she is desperate to wash her hair as this has not been done now for nearly a fortnight, and only having the staples removed from the operation into her brain for the sample tissue has now made this her number one priority.

We took a leisurely walk round the block this morning as she wanted some fresh air, after her spell in hospital. This afternoon took us to Salisbury's, just to give a sense of normality to our lives.
Her appetite is good and she is eating healthy foods, but does suffer with nausea even though she has medication for this.

Breathing exercises we have developed together helps her to relax when she becomes anxious, we do hold hands a lot, smile at each other and talk about things that we both don't want to.

Until a month ago and having been married as long as we have, I feel I must have taken life for granted, we would be doing, planning, going, enjoying thing together for many many years to come, but life's not like that, how I wish we could have travelled life's paths together for many years to come but I have to try and accept that this is not to be, we are all on a time clock set at different lengths, none of us want to know when that clock is going to stop, unfortunately we do with Fiona.

We don't know what the next days weeks months hold for us, I know what I would like but that is not possible so we are taking each day as it comes and hope we can build up Fiona`s strength for the journey ahead

Your messages are a comfort to us both
regards
Graham & Fiona


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## richardjames

It is very difficult to put into words what I think about your dilemma but I can only think back to how my family felt when I was diagnosed with bowel cancer and how I felt when my sister was found to have a brain tumour. I can honestly say I know how you must be feeling. Life can be so cruel but at the same time kindliness itself.
I have to take my hat off to you both by going about your lives as normal as you can and grasping each and every minute. Although I have never met either of you I feel very much part of your lives and am willing to do anything I can to help even if I am just someone to shout and scream at.
You have been constantly in my thoughts and prayers - be strong for each other


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## Penquin

Thank you for taking the time to post for us all. I am pleased to hear that she has had a reasonable day - things will improve as she gradually becomes accustomed to the new medication and so on.

It is good to hear that a short walk out - with a breath of fresh air can be such a tonic - but having spent some time in hospital I know EXACTLY how good it tastes!

None of us knows how long our span is going to be, so living for each day is a good motto for all of us to accept. There could be a no. 49 bus just waiting round the corner for any of us! But we all know that we have expectations and aspirations that we will "beat the odds".

I am sure that you will both treasure every minute together and count the minutes you are apart -

the phrases said by Lady Jane Fellowes at the funeral for Diana always seemed particularly poignant for me (I was there at the Abbey);

*Time is too slow for those who wait, 
Too swift for those who fear, 
Too long for those who grieve, 
Too short for those who rejoice, 
But for those who love, time is eternity. *

I was never able to find out who originally penned them, but they have always seemed so apt.

Like everyone else on MHF I wish you both the best for the future, there will be ups and downs but you are together facing the challenges hand in hand secure in the knowledge that support is always available whenever and wherever you need it. You only have to ask by open message or PM.

I hope the weekend goes well and that the party is a success, it will not be easy but for Fiona and you life must go on.

Dave


----------



## lalala

Graham and Fiona,
Every moment is so precious and will mean so much to you and your boys and their families. The way that you have been able to share this with us has meant so much to us, making us stop and think about what is important. Thank you. You are very much in our thoughts.
lala


----------



## MrsW

Graham and Fiona, I think you are a most remarkable couple! Even in the face of such adversity you are both making the most of your time together! 

None of us ever know how long we have in this life or who will live longest, but I think that for both of you making the best of the time that you have together is paramount. I sincerely hope that you will have a long, long time together strengthened by the love you so obviously have for each other. Like many others I have never met you in the flesh but feel we are getting to know you both through your postings Graham. 

I do hope you manage to do some of the many things on your long-term wish list and that Fiona continues to gain strength both physically and mentally for the journey ahead of her. 

You and your family remain in my thoughts and prayers.


----------



## geraldandannie

Thanks so much for updating us, Graham. Like many others, you two have been very much in our thoughts over the past few days. As you say, there will be a period of readjustment, but I'm glad to see that you're trying to enjoy the life you;re having together.

Gerald


----------



## emmbeedee

Graham & Fiona, we have been following this thread with a mixture of horror & disbelief. I have tried to post before, but like many others have said, it is difficult to choose the right words. Your dilemma does strike home with many on here I am sure. As has been said, none of us know how long we have on this earth & we really do have to live for today. My wife has MS & although thankfully it is progressing very slowly we too have no idea what the future holds.
All I can say is, keep strong & take each day as it comes.
Our thoughts & best wishes are with you.


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## xgx

Thanks for the update G.....

Hi Fiona !!


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## zulurita

Thank you for the update Graham & Fiona,

It is wonderful that you are both able to be positive. Enjoy every moment and try to do everything you can on your wish list .

Thinking of you both.


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## EuropeanCampers

Wishing you both all the strength in the world; and a bit of luck wouldn't go amiss either.

All the very best.


----------



## EJB

Our thoughts are with you both


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## Nora+Neil

Fiona+Graham.
I sit here trying to write something, its in my heart but i cannot get it out as so many has said before. 
You are both in my thoughts and prayers.

Enjoy the party as best you can.
What a lovely part of Yorkshire. Was there 2 years ago and had tea in the Devonshire Arms one of our old haunts.

God bless you both, keep strong.
Nora


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## SilverF1

Graham, we hope you and Fiona can have really good days in the remaining time; also that you have the strength to have those days. We do not envy you the journey but give you our best wishes.


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## lucy2

Thinking of you both & your family 

best wishes

From Sunny Morley, Leeds


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## unitedgirl

Stay strong both of you.

Our thoughts are with you x


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## gdleeds

The last few days have been difficult, Fiona wants to do more than she is able and suffers for it.
I want to be honest, I`m not a very religious man, I was brought up a Christian and know right from wrong, not a Church goer but this morning we attended our local village Church where one of our sons married a few years ago.
John the vicar welcomed us and I briefly explained our situation, the service and communion was uplifting and hands on prayers were said for Fiona at the end of the service.
John visited us in the late afternoon and assured Fiona when the time come there will be a place of rest for her within the Church grounds. These are things I would never have thought about a month ago.. how life changes so quickly... the love and compassion shown to my dear wife overwhelms me at times, still she is strong with that serene and dignified attitude that even the vicar commented on... again what a woman.. what a loss


----------



## Otto-de-froste

Dear Graham and Fiona
Your last posting prompted me to relate some events that happened to us 

First of all though I do apologise sincerely if I am speaking out of turn, especially as I have not responded since your first posting.

After my diagnosis in 2004, my wife and I went up into Yorkshire for a weekend to just be together
Visiting a small Christian fellowship in Ripon on the Sunday I went forward at the end of the service for prayer

I could elaborate further, but I don't want to offend or distress you

Just to say I am absolutely convinced that I received healing because of the prayer

I would be a liar if I said I had not on occasions fallen out with God subsequently, but I know in my heart that He did it for us

If you felt it would help for me to relate my experience I would be only too happy to contact you by PM

Tonight I will be praying for you both

With love

Paul and Kath

Faith is not believing that God can
Faith is believing that God will


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## dawnwynne

Graham,

Thank you for keeping us updated. I was thinking of you both this afternoon....hoping you both enjoyed the birthday party. 

I'm still finding it difficult to know what to say...other than to say that whatever you can find that gives either or both of you the slightest comfort grab hold of.


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## carolgavin

Thinking of you both and your families. Glad Fiona is at home,thinking of you all.


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## TR5

I have been following this silently up to now, and I still just don't know what to say. What a truly awlful situation, and what a very brave couple you are!

God bless you both.


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## smurfinguk

Though we have not met may I say how sory I am to read your sad news. I have been following your postings and hoped for better news for you.May your God bless you both and your family. Remembering you in my prayers
smurfing


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## MrsW

It's amazing what suddenly looms into focus at times like this Graham; the need for a spot in the churchyard (although I pray that day is still a long way off), future plans, past memories, .... the list goes on and I'm sure you need no reminding. For me though, the most important thing is to "bank" things in the memory bank for you and your boys and your grandchildren. Little phrases, the way Fiona does something. They are all things you most probably take for granted at the moment, or have done until now. But, from here on in these will form the beginning of those special things about her that you will miss when she is no longer visible to you. She won't be gone, just moved on and out of sight. 

I think Fiona is doing so well; she certainly seems to be making the most of the situation at the moment; I just hope she won't wear you out.! It seems to me that your strong relationship will bring you through the difficult times ahead. However, you will need the help and support of others and I am sure by now you are aware that there are many of us here thinking and praying for you and for the doctors and nurses who will be caring for Fiona and supporting you both. If there is any way in which you feel we can support you, bearing in mind that we are spread throughout the country, please do let us know.


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## Penquin

gdleeds said:


> The last few days have been difficult, Fiona wants to do more than she is able and suffers for it


That is absolutely normal from my experience, it is VERY difficult to say NO, and you will hate yourself for having to do it even though you can see the problems ahead.

If you can find a way, try to divert her effort by seeing what "alternative" ways there are of tackling something you can identify; if she wants to go for a walk, take her in the car part-way so that she is not exhausted and enjoys what she can do. If possible walk downhill not up - then take the bus back to the car or similar (if that is possible).

If she wants to go shopping OK, but again see what you can do to reduce the effort involved. Stop for a cup of coffee (or whatever) more frequently than you used to; plan the trip so that you reduce the amount of walking and carrying that is needed.

I am sure you can use your lateral thinking skills to great benefit for such events.



gdleeds said:


> I want to be honest, I`m not a very religious man, I was brought up a Christian and know right from wrong, not a Church goer but this morning we attended our local village Church where one of our sons married a few years ago.


In my opinion not being a Church goer does not make ANY difference, I strongly believe that those with the most Christian attitude are not always found in Church on Sundays - they exude their belief through what they say and do and the way that they look after people around them. I am sure that there is no "requirement" of Chirch attendance in order to be considered worthy in the eyes of others, including those from above.



gdleeds said:


> John the vicar welcomed us and I briefly explained our situation, the service and communion was uplifting and hands on prayers were said for Fiona at the end of the service.


If there is one thing that the clergy are excellent at, then it is showing the warmth of welcome and the open arms to accept one and all. There are a very large number of reports about how much support has been given by knowing that one is surrounded by the love of so many.

The future is uncertain, and although knowledge of a suitable place to rest may well bring comfort to Fiona - we all hope that the grass will grow a great deal before that is needed. But preparing in advance for such events does bring comfort to those who know what is going to happen. Once again your love and support are of paramount importance in that path.

We are all here, and there is a universal feeling amongst all those who post; one of admiration for* both* of you as you take this journey together. Fiona is a truly amazing woman, but she has obviously married an equally truly amazing man. You are both well matched.

Best wishes,

Dave


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## Suenliam

I am still shocked with the update as I have not been able to read everything for a few days. 

Others have written far more eloquently than I can but I think we should all learn the lesson of making the most of every day with loved ones. If you have a partner/spouse/kids/mum/dad etc. give them a Graham and Fiona hug NOW, don't wait.

Sue


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## dora

What can anybody say - Jim says remember Lance Armstrong. Riddled with cancer came back to win the Tour de France 7 times . Fight and be strong. Where there's life there is hope. x


----------



## Jezport

Hi Fiona and Graham,

If you need any help or advice about brain tumours please click on the link Andreas Gift They are a charity which can give help and advice. I helped at a Christmas party for families affected by brain tumours, and they really are a friendly group of people.

They are based in Bingley and Carol Robertson is the person to contact.

Regards
Jeremy

PS forgot to say that if anyone wants to help or donate to Andreas Gift please go to their website. They are a fantastic charity supporting families with brain tumours and supporting research into brain cancer.


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## Freddiebooks

Just to echo what Dora wrote a couple of post ago....

.... "Where there is life there is hope". 

So i am hoping, one way or the other that something is going to change and turn this around. 

Freddiebooks


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## Bubblehead

Hi

Ive been reading through this series of posts and feel for both of you. I dont think I can add to what has already been said.

Your in our thoughts at this difficult time.

Be strong, fight on.

Andy & Liz


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## Jezport

Here is a website that I found helpful when my Dad was diagnosed with a brain tumour, it is American and as they are world leaders in research you can find new treatments that some Oncolcogists have heared little about. 
American Brain Tumor Association
There is also a lot about living with brain tumours on their site.


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## gdleeds

Yesterday was our first visit to St James Hospital, what an eye opener,it could have been a modern airport, excellent building, informative and interested staff, professional and caring information and advice from the Doctors and staff.. we left feeling we are in the best of hands

Fiona`s brother arrived back in the country and was round to see us on our arrival home from the hospital. we had kept him fully informed by text and email, and he said to us that St James was now rated amongst one of the top cancer Hospitals in the country and the people looking after us are some of the best around.
During our conversation it transpired that he is also a specialist in this field being one of the Cancer Czars who are spread over the country, he is a very modest man but the more we probed the more he let us into his professional world, we knew he was a Consultant Pathologist, who over the years had submitted papers, and had also been invited to many countries to give lectures but we just though of him as Fiona`s brother, now we find he is one of the most highly regarded Pathologist dealing with Cancer in the UK.
So we start this new road of Radiotherapy which will be a six week course visiting the hospital each day Mon through Fri for a half hour session.
We have now received a superb support group from both Hospitals to help and assist us over this next phase, what a difference between dealing with the GP who runs a private business and the NHS, what a superb organisation the NHS is when we need it.


----------



## locovan

The NHS is the best when you really need it.
Im so pleased Fiona is now going into treatment and there are new breakthroughs everyday.
The continual treatment daily will wear her out and she will need an afternoon nap but when its over she will get stronger.
So good luck to her we are wishing her all the best
Mavis and Ray


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## dawnwynne

Graham,

I'm glad Fiona is now starting her treatment and I echo what Mavis has said, there are breakthroughs everyday!

How wonderful that you both have such a good resource right in the family whom you can ask so many questions and depend on the answers. 

Good luck over the next few weeks.


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## lalala

Hello Graham
You were both obviously impressed with the hospital and your positive thoughts will be a great help in the treatment process.
All the best
lala


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## Penquin

Thank you for that update and it is always pleased to see praise for what I believe to be an excellent organisation and service.

Yes, there are weak parts where things are not as one would want, but when needed we have always found the NHS to be first-rate.

I may well be biased over that opinion but if so it is as a result of the excellent service and support I have received.

I am delighted to hear that Fiona's brother is also very supportive of St James' - such peer group knowledge cannot be beaten IMO.

You both face a great deal of NHS involvement over the next few weeks and months but I am confident that your initial reaction will be well founded. Have courage and keep cheerful! :lol: 

Dave


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## Rapide561

*Fiona*

Hello Graham and Fiona

Good to hear from you. You're in good hands at Jimmy's, they looked after my crazy aunty who was mad about Lake Garda!

Russell


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## MrsW

gdleeds said:


> Yesterday was our first visit to St James Hospital, what an eye opener,it could have been a modern airport, excellent building, informative and interested staff, professional and caring information and advice from the Doctors and staff.. we left feeling we are in the best of hands


I am pleased to see that Fiona has embarked on the next part of her journey today. How apt that the building seems like a departure lounge. When new these hospitals are superb Graham, although sadly some of our crumbling old hospitals do not quite come up to these standards. Our local hospital has recently had some work done on it and the facilities in the upgraded bits are wonderful. The rest waits for attention! As for the staff; they have hearts of gold and work tirelessly for the good of the patients. It makes me cringe when I read posts on this forum from people bashing the NHS and its staff.



gdleeds said:


> Fiona`s brother arrived back in the country and was round to see us on our arrival home from the hospital. we had kept him fully informed by text and email, and he said to us that St James was now rated amongst one of the top cancer Hospitals in the country and the people looking after us are some of the best around.
> During our conversation it transpired that he is also a specialist in this field being one of the Cancer Czars who are spread over the country, he is a very modest man but the more we probed the more he let us into his professional world, we knew he was a Consultant Pathologist, who over the years had submitted papers, and had also been invited to many countries to give lectures but we just though of him as Fiona`s brother, now we find he is one of the most highly regarded Pathologist dealing with Cancer in the UK.


What a self-effacing man your brother-in-law sounds to be! The greater their brilliance the more humble these people are! I am so pleased to hear that he is very confident of the competence of St James Hospital - Fiona is in very good hands!



gdleeds said:


> So we start this new road of Radiotherapy which will be a six week course visiting the hospital each day Mon through Fri for a half hour session.
> We have now received a superb support group from both Hospitals to help and assist us over this next phase, what a difference between dealing with the GP who runs a private business and the NHS, what a superb organisation the NHS is when we need it.


The next 6 weeks are going to be tough for you both. It is a given that it will be hard on Fiona, but you will be doing the bulk of the supporting and caring for her. I hope you both can find the strength required to get through this time. You know there are many of us thinking and praying for you both.

I cannot agree more about the superb organisation that is the NHS when one is acutely ill. I was admitted to hospital this weekend for emergency treatment: I was seen in reception in A & E at 5pm, had been triaged by 5 past and told I needed to be seen in A & E rather than the doctors out of hours centre which shares the site (which I knew, but I still had to go through the formalities). At 10 past 5 I was in A & E being seen by a doctor who told me I needed to come into hospital for treatment and 5 minutes later the treatment had been started in the department. 40 minutes later I was up on the ward, drip in place and in a single room. I was admitted and fed within the next 10 minutes and seen by the senior doctor on duty for the specialty. All within 1 hour! The service I got that day was fantastic as was the treatment today when I had to go back to outpatients. I was treated and discharged this morning after a consultation with the consultant despite the fact that the appointment was only made yesterday!

I hope that Fiona's treatment continues to be as impressive and that she does not find it too harrowing! I hope that your posts are not too difficult for you to do; it certainly is good to feel we are able to walk along this journey with you both and I feel very privileged to be to be there with you both.


----------



## gdleeds

Today I got a call from the Hospital that they want Fiona down to the Radiography Dept on Tues, we expect to have a mask created to keep her head still whilst she is zapped!!!
An appointment was also made for the next week called Day Zero, then they check everything, do last minute tests, scans etc and make ready for the the start of the treatment Fiona will be undergoing.

Even now we still are in disbelief that this is happening from start of 6 weeks ago to today, we have had some beautifully worded cards, best wishes and support that has at times quite overwhelmed us.

This Saturday is the day of the Party, Fiona`s Mum now knows she is out to Dinner with the whole family and its tying her best to find out the venue, most frustrating for my dear Mother in law. Still unaware of the other 50 friends of hers we have invited

I do hope that Fiona is physically able to spend a decent amount of time with family and friends on Saturday night, she is weak, and there are side effects to her medication, but she is determined that nothing will stop her attending. 
Our daughter in laws have been wonderful even though they each have small children to attend to, they have spoilt Fiona with kindness. She had time just after Christmas to go to Harvey Nicks in Leeds and get herself a little `Fuchsia pink` number. so the girls will be glizzed up for the night, having just had a dress rehearsal.
We were left to take the kids out.... so on a high note, Fiona is in good spirits, is looking forward to this weekend and has a new dress.

Next week is another time
regards
Graham


----------



## richardjames

Graham I wish you wouldn't read my mind - I was just wondering about any developments. I'm glad things are moving on with the treatment


----------



## Penquin

Thank you for the update, it is great to hear news.

Fiona is bound to feel tired - it is not very long since major surgery and from my experiences the anaesthetic alone continues to exert an influence for at least a week, irrespective of the discomfort and associated tiredness which is part of getting over such things.

It is good to hear that she is all set for the party - I know how frustrating it can be for your m-i-l wanting to know! :lol: That is part of the build up!

Fiona will cope with as much as she can, merely being around people is tiring so try to encourage a sedentary time with lots of rest before building up to the evening.

The pink number sounds good - hope you take lots of pics and that she will approve sharing one with all of us.

Next week will bring trials and tribulations but it is the start of the next crucial stage and before long will be just a hazy memory - as you said it is a real surprise how the last six weeks have flown by, but those days are behind you both now.

Good luck, give her a hug from all of us, and do try to keep in touch when you can, but Fiona must come first!  

Dave


----------



## Suenliam

Delighted you are happy with the NHS service. We are so fortunate that it is free at point of need and we have no worries about being able to afford it. I am sure our road to recovery/remission is helped so much by the dedication of the staff and the feeling that they have everything under control. 

I hope both of you enjoy the party.

Sue


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## Jezport

We are lucky to have radiotherapy available in Leeds, during my Dads treatment we spoke to people who had to travel over 60 miles there and back each day.

When my Dad had radiotherapy it did not have any adverse afects at the start, but near the end of the course it made him very tired.


----------



## SilverF1

Really pleased to read the progress report on Fiona. 

We hope you and your families have a wonderful time on Saturday.


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## zulurita

Thanks for the update Graham & Fiona.

Wishing you the very best for the treatment over the next six weeks. It is wonderful that Fiona's brother is able to be so supportive and helpful with his knowledge and advice.

Enjoy the party on Saturday.


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## MrsW

Is it really 6 weeks since you started this post Graham? Gosh how far you 2 have travelled in that short time! The start of radiotherapy and the gruelling treatment ahead will hopefully bring relief of her symptoms and an improvement in her condition which will mitigate for the stressful time she has to go through. 

I do hope the party goes well. If it is in a hotel, have you thought about taking a bedroom so she could go away and rest and then return to the party later if she needed to? A fuschia pink dress sounds lovely - the photo you posted of Fiona shows such a vibrant woman I am sure it will reflect her personality really well. Will you take some pictures and post one for us all afterwards? 

Have a great weekend, and remind Fiona that we are all standing behind you both! 

Lesley.


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## Freddiebooks

RAVE SAFE YOU TWO !!!!


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## gdleeds

*The Party Venue*

For those who don`t know the Yorkshire Dales this is the venue for the party
>>the devonshire arms Bolton Abbey<<
Many of us are making a weekend of this delightful hotel

Graham


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## dawnwynne

Thanks for the update Graham.

I misunderstood and thought the party was last weekend...so I hope you both have a very good time this weekend!!


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## midlifecrisismil

Dear Graham and Fiona

I have watched the progress of Fiona's illness from a back seat as have probably a lot of people feeling that I was too new to the forum, that I did not know either of you and that there were lots of supportive people on here.

Your lives almost mirror mine and HWMBO married 32years worked together 20years done everything together etc etc although we have no children so dont match in that way.

So when I read about Fiona's illness and also because a very close friend, same age, was diagnosed with leukemia at Christmas it made life which previously had seemed to stretch out before me suddenly seem very short and made it seem important that you live life how you want to live it (of course always with regard for others). I am sure many others will echo my sentiments.

I hope that the treatment for Fiona goes how you would wish it to and is successful and that you have the years together that you always thought you would have. Fiona is clearly a strong and positive person and I am sure that you will remain strong and positive for her (at least to her face) during the weeks and months to come.

And to end on a happy note the hotel looks wonderful and the area is lovely. I hope Mum has a lovely time at her party and that Fiona is able to at least enjoy a part of it.

Milly


----------



## neilanddot

Dear Fiona and Graham
We think of you most days, as indeed most probably do so many others in this forum.
Hope that things are going ok with you. Just wanted to say that you and your family are in our thoughts.
Take care, best wishes,
Neil and Dot


----------



## gdleeds

13/02/2010 update

I wake up each morning now with tears in my eyes, knowing that I will loose my true love not today or tomorrow but that dam clock is ticking, if you have someone you dearly love give them a big hug and tell them how much you love them, because life changes so very fast, make each day special....

Fiona has now had various scans, been placed on steroids which have helped a great deal to reduce the swelling in the brain, this has now eased a lot of her discomfort and side effects of the other medication she was having to take, from a heathy woman in her prime just before xmas to taking 13 tablets a day... we have now been able to reduce the amount.. next Weds is Zero day when all final checks are carried out before Radiotherapy treatment starts the next day for 6 weeks.
She has been informed that she may loose her hair or part so yesterday she went of with one of our daughter in laws for a girly day out with lunch and a visit to the `wig shop` she found it hilious, sounds like they had a good time.
We were contacted by some nice people from a local hospice, we were in the car at at the time and both of us explained that we thought they had contacted us too early..... brings things home that word.... anyway she called back later to explain it was for day care, see if there are alternative therapies Fiona may be interested in, so we will be visitingthe hospice this week, Fiona said she would like to be able to chat to others in a similar position to herself..
What hell this all is...

tears rolling so must go
regards

Graham


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## richardjames

Graham I am so sorry but where there is life there is hope and I am sincerely hoping for Fiona, you and your loved ones. My family have been through the same ordeal with my sister and myself. I have been very lucky and I wish you the same luck - be strong and keep your chin up.


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## zulurita

Graham thank you for the update.

Best wishes for the start of radiotherapy next week. Lovely for Fiona to have a girly day  

I really do feel for you both and it brings tears to my eyes. As you say make the most of every moment. I hope and pray Fiona will respond well to the treatment.


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## geraldandannie

gdleeds said:


> tears rolling


Me too, Graham.

Thanks for the update. I hope you know just how many people on here are thinking about you both.

Gerald


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## lalala

Graham and Fiona.
Our hopes and very best wishes are with you. 
lala


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## teljoy

gdleeds said:


> 13/02/2010 update
> 
> I wake up each morning now with tears in my eyes, knowing that I will loose my true love not today or tomorrow but that dam clock is ticking, if you have someone you dearly love give them a big hug and tell them how much you love them, because life changes so very fast, make each day special....
> 
> regards
> 
> Graham


We wish you both all the luck in the world. Just reading your first sentence and I'm typing this with tears running down my face.

Terry


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## 96299

Passing all our best wishes over to you.........


steve


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## dawnwynne

Graham

Thank you for posting. Like many here we've been thinking of you both all this time.

I too hope that Fiona responds well to the treatment.


----------



## stewartwebr

Hello Graham,

I have read your post from the start and until now have remained silent although you have both been in my thoughts and prayers. I can only imagine the pain and anguish you are both going through.

Reading your last update about Fiona starting her therapy soon and shopping for a wig may I suggest you contact the following charities?

www.maggiescentres.org

www.lookgoodfeelbetter.co.uk

Maggies Centres offers so much support and advice. They offer counseling for both the patient and their families. They provide a lovely pleseant environment for you to spend some time and the opportunity to meet other people who may be suffering in the same way.

The Look Good Feel Better is an amazing charity that my partner is heavily involved with. It works in conjunction with Maggie's Centers organizing workshops for people undergoing chemo and radio therapy. It is sponsored by all of the major cosmetic companies providing useful tips and advise on how to deal with make-up and wigs whilst going through your treatment. It also provides a bit of a pamper day where you meet with others going through the same. Each lady is given a complimentary goodie bag of cosmetic products at the day.

Having seen all the ladies leave after attending and reading all the lovely messages my partner receives it really does lift the spirits and makes the ladies feel better about themselves.

I can only hope this helps a little.

Thinking of you both

Stewart


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## Jezport

Hi Graham and Fiona,

As you know I have been through a similar situation as you.
Looking back, of course I could cry about any of the bad parts of seeing someone I love suffering terminal brain cancer, but unbeleivably there were lots of good times. I made sure that I spent lots of quality time with my Dad and was never closer than the time after he was diagnosed. While Fiona is fit enough, you must pack things in and take as many day trips and breaks as possible. Even just a walk in the park or a visit to a friend. We took my Dad away to Blackpool and although he was very ill at the time and was really not upto it he had a great time.

Please make the most of your time and try whenever possible, to forget the cancer and enjoy life.

If you need anything you know where I am.

Best Wishes
The Jezport Family


----------



## mygalnme

Hello Graham and Fiona, just wish there was something we could say but like everyone else we are thinking of you and your family.
Margaret and Tony


----------



## SilverF1

Graham and Fiona, we are so sorry things are as they are for you.

God give you strength to deal with it.

You have our very best wishes.


----------



## carolgavin

Thinking of you and Fiona and sending positive thoughts. I hope you find a small degree in comfort in the knowledge that the whole of facts are supporting you on your journey.


----------



## brens

Graham, ,just to say always thinking of you and your dear girl.


----------



## Otto-de-froste

Graham and Fiona

You are still in our thoughts and prayers, and will remain so

God bless you both

Paul


----------



## Groper

My daughter in law who was in a similar position 6 years ago found the hospice a great comfort and gave her strength as it did our son.
Thinking of you both.

Clive


----------



## gdleeds

*Valentines Day*

This morning I recieved a Valentines card fron Fiona that I would like to share the words with you

Love

If I had my life to live over again....

..... next time I would find you sooner
so I could love you longer

what a woman


----------



## Briarose

Graham what lovely words, I have tears streaming down my face right now, just been catching up as we have been away and had a really slow internet connection.

I have been thinking of you both and wondering how things are.

I hope you both manage to enjoy Valentines day together.

Thoughts and prayers as always Nette x


----------



## richardjames

Graham - LOVELY


----------



## oldtart

Dear Graham and Fiona
I have just read your post on the forum.

What can I say! We shall always remember you, Fiona, from our DD tour in October 2008. So many happy memories. I think the one I shall always see is your camper suddenly stopping in front of us on the Tiz n'Tischka pass !!  and you jumping out to take a photo of us. So full of life.

Our thoughts are with you both at this time.


Val and Dave


----------



## DTPCHEMICALS

Best wishes to you both and we sincerely hope the tretment is positive

Dave and Margaret


----------



## locovan

Fiona keep the fight up and the treatment will be able to work and bring you a little more time.
Its what I work hard at so must you.
Good luck through the radiotherapy its not very nice but it is worth it honest.
My thoughts are with you. xx


----------



## Ian_n_Suzy

I first read this post prior to xmas up to the point where Fiona would have to stop driving "her little sports car".

I hadn't revisited it until today, and I am so sorry for how things have developed (I said out loud "Oh Christ No", when I got to the point where it was discovered Fiona had a brain tumour, and another "Oh for Christ sake" when it was discovered to be malignant).

I don't know what to say other than you are in our thoughts.


----------



## gdleeds

Hi to all of you who have given Fiona and myself your support over the last couple of months.

Fiona started her Radiotherapy treatment a week ago, I am seeing changes already, lethargy and tiredness, her medication is still being balanced, today we increased the steroids to counter the swelling around the tumour, in the hope that it will reduce this and help cease the pain she suffers in the mornings.
The staff at St James have been superb in their care and treatment and I cannot thank them enough.
Fiona has now visited Wheatfields hospice day center twice, she feel relaxed and comfortable there, today I left her for the first time for 2 hours, the most we have been apart since the beginning of this situation, I am now a career by default but I would not have it any other way.

This weekend we sold `Ellie` due to Fiona's condition there would be no way I would feel comfortable having her climb steps to the bed over the garage, so we decided to sell and look for a more user friendly van with a fixed bed, one that would allow us to get away in comfort but offer us the least amount of potential dangers.

We have now accepted the situation, I think for a time we were both in denial, but now we are looking forward to the end of the treatment when there will be a further short period of sickness before coming through to better times, that is the time we will enjoy every single day together for as long as we have, unfortunately the prognosis for Fiona's condition is very fluid.. so we will live each day one day at a time

regards
Graham & Fiona


----------



## carol

Graham thank you for the update, I have just logged on to find your message - I wish Fiona well with her treatment, and I am sure you will find a motorhome which will suit you. We have an island bed which may be an option to consider - no climbing up and it is available all the time, and has a fair amount of garage space (ours is a Rapido 7090) but whatever, the choosing of it when Fiona is well enough will give you both something to think about.

xx

Carol


----------



## Penquin

Thanks Graham and Fiona - it may seem very hard at the moment but things will improve although there will be good days and not so good. Try hard to keep up your spirits - we allknow how hard it is but can only think and pray for you both.

Thank you very much for taking the time to keep us posted.

Dave and Lesley


----------



## zulurita

Thank you Graham for the update on Fiona.

I wish Fiona all the best for her treatment and hope for a good outcome. 

I am sure a fixed bed mh will be just the ticket, some have easier access than others and as Carol mentioned an island bed is a good idea.


----------



## lalala

Thank you Graham. You are being so positive, it will make such a difference to Fiona that you have the strength to help her through.
We are thinking of you both
lala


----------



## neilanddot

Dear Graham and Fiona.
Thank you so much for taking the time to give us all an update. It has been an avalanche of confusion and worry for you both and hopefully you will have some time soon when you can have some good, quality time together. It is a very sensible move to tailor a new vehicle for a different type of use.
We wish you good and happy times together and hope Fiona will start to feel better soon.
With love
Neil and Dot


----------



## locovan

Graham thanks for the update.
The tiredness is something that doesn't go away in a hurry but that's the least of Fiona's worries.
Ray has fallen into his role as a career very well through out my Chemo that we now argue about the housework and cooking meals because i want to do everything now I feel better.
Selling and choosing another M/H will give the excuse for planning the journeys for when she is free to be able to get out and about.
We hope Fiona soon feels better always thinking of you.
Ray and Mavis


----------



## MrsW

Graham your recent posts have been so poignant and so sad at times, but at others I can feel the hope and positivity shining through. I do hope that the treatment gives Fiona greater pain relief and control of her symptoms and allows you both some memorable time together. What you may not have in quantity I do hope and pray you will have in quality instead.

I think the decision to change your motorhome for something more useable is a very sensible one and hope toy will soon find something which meets your needs and allows you many happy trips out together.

Your situation has brought home to me that none of us knows what tomorrow might bring and reminds me that we should make the very best of today. You both remain in my thoughts and prayers. God bless you both.


----------



## Rapide561

*Fiona*

Graham, thank you for the update. My kindest thoughts are with you both.

Russell


----------



## Jezport

Thanks for the update.

Keep positive.


----------



## lindyloot

Hi Graham thanks for the update. Give Fiona our regards
Rich and Lin


----------



## EJB

Our thoughts, as always, are with you both


----------



## SilverF1

Can't help but admire your fortitude. Our continuing best wishes to you both.


----------



## UncleNorm

Thanks, Graham, for the update. I wish Fiona and you the very best.

Words often fail to deliver a person's thoughts and hopes... So I'll try a bit of my favourite poem...

*From "Your Road" by Patience Strong*

_*Today has never been lived by anyone on Earth;
Today is fresh, today is new,
It's like a second birth;
To wake and feel that you can step into this unlived day, 
Making of it what you will,
It's your road all the way.....*_

Good luck to you both.


----------



## CaGreg

Hi Graham and Fiona,

I woke up this morning feeling a bit fed up that I had turned into a fifty year old while I slept last night. 
Reading your post made me cry and feel grateful that I have reached this age in rude good health. 
Best of luck to you both. 

Ca


----------



## dawnwynne

Graham, thanks for the updates. I am glad you are looking at a more suitable motorhome which will give you both something to look forward to!

All the best, we are always thinking of you.


----------



## DTPCHEMICALS

Graham , thanks for the update.
we love your positive attitude. Hope you wll soon be out and about in a more convenient mh.
Best wishes to you both.
Dave and Margaret


----------



## mygalnme

Hi Graham, Thanks for the update and hope you find a new MH to suit your needs, still very much in out thoughts
Margaret and Tony


----------



## hymerowner

How are things? Have followed and prayed for you both.


----------



## sallytrafic

Graham I see you are looking in on the site even if not posting at the moment. Hope we are being of some use to you.

BTW you haven't put your mileage guess in here yet H4H Competition


----------



## StephandJohn

Thank yu so much for sharing this. I can't imagine how hard it must be for you both and so admire your fortitude.
It certainly makes me count my blessings


----------



## gdleeds

Hi to you all, Fiona sends her greeting... How time moves on so fast, we are now seeing the light at the end of the tunnel, we are down to our last 5 Radiotherapy sessions. Wednesday 31st March will be the last day of Fiona being zapped.
Her condition at this moment is that of being extremely tired and lethargic, she is also on a course of Steroids, these have given her a great appetite, as such I use the breakfast tray to get her out of bed and into the shower, great fun telling her she cannot eat until she gets up...with me backing out of the room, its like the pipe piper

So what a learning curve this has been on this journey, we have met some wonderful people, caring and dedicated, also the great service of our NHS, we feel she has had superb treatment from all.

I cannot remember if I mentioned, Fiona visits the local hospice and uses their drop in centre, what wonderful people work there, she feels secure and relaxed and at the moment it gives me a couple of hours off, we have met and speak regularly with her Macmillan nurse yet another `Angel`

We are informed that when this treatment session ends we may have Fiona feeling poorly within a couple of weeks or so, this is a reaction to the Radiotherapy, hopefully this will not last long and then she should show signs of recovering... the time when each day I can spoil her rotten, indulge her every want, and also for me being aware of that ticking clock... and I know all she will want is a quite walk in the country holding hands..


regards
Fiona & Graham


----------



## dawnwynne

Hi Graham!

Thanks so much for the update. I often think of you both.

I'm so glad her treatment is almost complete and very soon she will be feeling so much better and you can spend that quality time together!


----------



## Penquin

Thank you so much for taking the time to bring us up to date and I am sure that many of us will feel relieved that there is a light at the end of a very dark tunnel (and that it's not just some bu99er with a torch bringing more work!).

It sounds as if the treatment is making good progress - we are well aware of the two steps forward, one step back scenario that you face due to the side effects but every day through it is another day you will not have to repeat!

The mental image of you with tray leading her out of bed is one that brings a smile to my face - and I am sure to that of many other people - including Fiona!

Do send her our best wishes - we think of the battle that the pair of you are facing in such a courageous way and take great comfort from your positive approach. Thank you for that excellent role model to so many of us as we face adversity.

Our thoughts and prayers remain with you as you go through the next few days and weeks and we all look forward to the "long hot summer" that will eventually appear for us all (we hope!).

Dave


----------



## locovan

Isn't it funny how we can still find our sense of humour at a time like this.
Good luck to the both of you and yes a walk in the countryside on sunny day is a great healer.
The MacMillian Nurses are wonderful Angels that are always at the end of the phone to help anytime.
With the treatment coming to an end life does return to normal and your time becomes your own again.
Both of you keep that positiveness up it really is what you need to fight the nasty.
Love mavis and Ray


----------



## zulurita

Thank you for keeping us up to date. Nice to know the radiotherapy will soon be finished and that Fiona and you have the support you need.

It made me smile also picturing you with the breakfast tray  I hope Fiona will soon be feeling up to that lovely walk together.

My best wishes to Fiona and you.


----------



## geraldandannie

Hi Graham,

Thanks so much for taking the time to keep us updated. We were just wondering how Fiona was doing and then we saw your post. Give her our best and we'll imagine the two of you on your warm and romantic country walk in a few weeks.

Gerald and Annie


----------



## DTPCHEMICALS

Thanks for the update Graham.
Best wishes toyou both and we look forward to hearing of your walk in the country

Dave and Margaret


----------



## SaddleTramp

Thanks Graham,


----------



## carolgavin

Thank you for the update. My friend has had whole brain radiotherapy for secondary brain metastases only had one week of it though, well 5 days. He is feeling very tired this week. Laughing at the thought of you with the breakfast tray, friend is also on steroids and boy do they make him hungry!!
Best wishes and thinking of you all.


----------



## richardjames

Graham - you must be reading my mind because only yesterday I was wondering how Fiona was doing - I've had radiotherapy so I can understand how she is feeling. Keep fighting and be strong together


----------



## karenmac

Dearest Graham and Fiona

We never did meet - we were meant to go to morocco with you but Karenś Dad was too ill.

So sorry to hear abour Fionaś poor health - our pray are with you.

Kindest wishes
Karen & William


----------



## lindyloot

Hi Graham and Fiona, thankyou for the update,we were thinking of you both the other day. We are still waiting the prognocis for Clay. He's having another scan in May and see's the specialist also. 
Regards Rich and Lin


----------



## Jezport

What can we say, other than keep up the fight and we are all thinking of you both.


----------



## moblee

I'd also like to Thank you for the update.
I've never met you two but I often wonder how things are going.


----------



## SilverF1

Graham, thanks for the update on Fiona. Hope you both get to take that walk. Best wishes.


----------



## Rapide561

*Thoughts*



locovan said:


> Isn't it funny how we can still find our sense of humour at a time like this.
> Good luck to the both of you and yes a walk in the countryside on sunny day is a great healer.
> The MacMillian Nurses are wonderful Angels that are always at the end of the phone to help anytime.
> With the treatment coming to an end life does return to normal and your time becomes your own again.
> Both of you keep that positiveness up it really is what you need to fight the nasty.
> Love mavis and Ray


I would like to agree with everything Mavis and RAy have said and echo their kind thoughts.

Russell


----------



## gdleeds

The house is now quite after visitors left, Fiona is resting, well asleep... and that the problem.
Fiona finished her 30 sessions of radiotherapy 11 days ago, at that time she was tired, yet we made the journey daily 5 days a week 6 weeks, seemed to go on forever, any way Fiona was able to walk move about the house etc but now she is really feeling the side effects of the treatment.
Over the last few days I noticed her getting more tied and sleeping longer, but today she rely did sleep.
We can usually be up for breakfast, after having come down and had breakfast, got dressed etc, Fiona made it as far as the top of our stairs where she Lent against wall and just fell asleep.
I got her back onto bed , cushions blanket, and remembered that this was to be expected, so after fruit for lunch another sleep she finally got up at 3.00. 
She felt refreshed, still wobbly but alert and hungry.
My sister arrived and cheered Fiona up with anecdotes and gossip, our youngest son and his wife turned up, Fiona was at her best that I have seen for quite some days.
We expect another couple of weeks of this before we will see the start of any results, we are looking for the light at the end of the tunnel. On an upbeat note, Fiona still has her wit and humour, so its nice at times that we laugh together. 
Our target is June 5Th, Fiona and i invited the family to have a holiday with us before all this arose, so she is focused on wanting to be in Florida with her grandchildren.

regards
Graham


----------



## DTPCHEMICALS

Thanks for the update Graham.
We wish you both well
Dave and Margaret p


----------



## brens

lovely piccy, and yes, yes, yes hoping and praying for more happy days to come, brens x


----------



## locovan

Lovely to hear from you and the progress of Fiona 
Love to you both Mavis and Ray


----------



## lindyloot

Thanks for the update and what a lovely happy photo of you both. From reading the posts Fiona will be there in Florida. 
Regards to you both Rich and Lin


----------



## bigbazza

I've just picked up on this and like everyone else our thoughts and hopes are with you.


----------



## SilverF1

Graham and Fiona, fingers crossed for that improvement in the forthcoming weeks. So good to read that Fiona retains her sense of humour. It would be good for you to be able to take your grandchildren to Florida, as well.

As ever, best wishes to you both.


----------



## richardjames

Thanks Graham for the update - I things continue to be positive - I've had radiotherapy so I can understand how she feels


----------



## geraldandannie

Florida in June sounds a great focus and target for you both.

Still thinking about you both.

Gerald


----------



## oldtart

Thanks for the update Graham. It's great to learn that Fiona still has her humour. All our best wishes to you both. to you both


----------



## dawnwynne

What a beautiful picture of the two of you. Hopefully she'll be feeling better very soon and you can both enjoy a well deserved break!!! 

Always thinking of you both!


----------



## Rapide561

*Florida*

Thanks once again Graham for the update. Florida will soon he upon you.

Russell


----------



## KeiththeBigUn

Thank you for the update Graham. I am pleased that things seem to be going alright considering. Humour is a great medicine. :wink: 

Best wishes to you both, 

Keith and Ros


----------



## gdleeds

I cannot believe its only 17 weeks since this nightmare began

We are now in dark days, Fiona is reacting to the Radiotherapy side effects having just finished her course 12 days ago.
This week end she was unable to leave her bed due to very deep sleep and only waking for short periods.
Today we had the Doctor, the District Nurse and the Macmillan Nurse round, she is to be closely monitored for the next couple of days, tomorrow a Consultant from a very pleasant Hospice that Fiona uses as a drop in centre comes to asses her for admittance for hopefully a short time whilst she is in this condition. 
I will feel better knowing she is receiving total nursing care, its been quite an emotional roller coaster these last few days

Graham


----------



## geraldandannie

Hi Graham

That sounds really tough. Is this a normal after effect from her treatment?

As always, our thoughts are with you.

Gerald and Annie


----------



## Penquin

Thank you very much for the update and we hope that progress continues towards your "magic date", we are well aware of the need for continued restand relaxation following what she has been through - it will gradually resolve itself.

Dave and Lesley


----------



## locovan

Graham Im so sorry she is having a reaction from the treatment I had it in the chest area I cant imagine what it is like in the head and stuck in the frame like that.
Maybe it is good she is sleeping and will build up her strength but yes tiredness is the norm.
Hope the news gets better keep strong xx
Mavis and Ray


----------



## xgx

gdleeds said:


> ...
> I will feel better knowing she is receiving total nursing care, its been quite an emotional roller coaster these last few days
> 
> Graham


You're doing a grand job for Fiona!... make sure that you're looking after yourself too!
(you'll want to be at your best when she gets through this phase :wink: )


----------



## Nora+Neil

Thinking of you both.


----------



## sallytrafic

Thinking of you as well and my toast tonight will be 'happier days ahead for you both'


----------



## JockandRita

Hello Graham,

Having just caught up with all your updates since Jan/Feb time, (please see PM), we are saddened to read of Fiona's latest reaction to treatment, and sincerely hope that her short stay at the hospice, with the best of treatment, brings the results we are "all" hoping for.

Out thoughts and very best wishes go with you both.

Re your own welfare, that is good advice above, from Graham. Look after yourself, and stay positive, for Fiona's homecoming soon.

Kindest regards,

Jock & Rita


----------



## Sharnor

You are very, very brave. Thank you so much for keeping us updated on Fiona's progress. Our thoughts are with you.

Sharon and Norman


----------



## zulurita

Thanks Graham for the updates. I do hope Fiona's stay at the hospice is a short one and she is soon back home.

That is a lovely photo of the both of you. Look after yourself as well.


----------



## richardjames

Thank you for the update - keep strong I am sure that the hospice stay will only be a short one


----------



## neilanddot

Dear Fiona and Graham
Yes, radiotherapy can be so debilitating and glad to read that Fiona will be going for total care for a short while. This is so important as it will also give you, Graham, a rest. Not that you are not happy to look after Fiona but it is so upsetting and exhausting for the "well" partner looking after their Beloved as often they feel so helpless.
Our thoughts are with you both and your family,
Love and Best Wishes,
Neil and Dot


----------



## carol

Graham, my thoughts are with you and Fiona and I sincerely hope that the hospice can provide what is needed at this time, as they always seem to do, and that she is home again soon with you and focused on that holiday in Florida..... 

Carol


----------



## UncleNorm

Hello Graham and Fiona. Thanks for having the courage to keep your friends at MHF informed, your updates are much appreciated. 

AuntieSandra and I wish you both well; we hope that the after-effects of the treatment soon diminish, thereby leaving you both free to prepare for your much-needed holiday.

Stay strong Graham, look after yourself too. :wink: 

XXX


----------



## gdleeds

Fiona hastoday been admitted to Wheatfields Hospice, we increase the steroids back to 16mg yesterday and this morning was she did show a great improvement.
I`m getting the same reaction from a number of health professionals that it may be that the RT has not worked, so its now down to monitoring her condition. 
The stay is open ended I just pray this is a side effect and she will be back with me shortly, in the meantime I know she is getting the best of care and that's all I could wish for.

Graham


----------



## midlifecrisismil

Graham

Have been watching your posts since Fiona first became unwell.

I hope that Fiona's stay in the hospice brings positive news for both of you. 

What a magnificent job all of these hospices throughout the country do - whether to give palliative care to people outside of the hospice or care and support within it and they are only usually able to survive because of the local community's magnificent fund raising efforts.

Stay positive - we are all continuing to think about both of you.

Best wishes

Milly


----------



## neilanddot

I am so glad that Fiona is having such a caring group of people looking after her and that in turn helps you. You two must be so exhausted and weary, so the hospice will be really good for you both. Keep positive and hopefully she will be back home again in a few days. Certainly the intensive RT will have drained her and the side effects do seem to gather in intensity for a short while after. Look after yourself Graham. Neil


----------



## Otto-de-froste

You are both still in our thoughts and prayers

Wishing you peace, fortitude and healing

Paul & Kath


----------



## Delores

Have only just come to this thread - I'm so dreadfully sorry to hear what's happened to you and all my thoughts, prayers and good wishes are with you both.

Much love

Beth & Steve


----------



## JLO

Started to read this thread on Sunday evening, so so sorry to hear what has happened. Just to let you know you are both in our thoughts

Jacqui & Ted


----------



## SilverF1

Graham, we hope that the care that Fiona is getting in the hospice will enable you to recharge your emotional and physical batteries.

Take care, best wishes.


----------



## gdleeds

I returned to Fiona last night to be greeted with such a wonderful smile, what a girl with the battering she has just endured.

She was looking the best I have seen her for quite some days, I brushed her hair, tided her and watched as she took delight in the photos of the family and grandchildren I had brought.
How cruel life can be, such a vibrant happy person, the kind of girl who lit a room when she entered. the love she showed to others, 

I was asked yesterday about our background, and it dawned on me that our suburb partnership may be coming to an end

Fiona and I met 38 years ago, married for 35 of those. Raised 2 smashing boys who we are greatly proud of, we created and built up 3 successful business`s together working and living together 24/7, we build our own home, traveled extensively and I was so fortunate to have had Fiona at my side all that time.

My emotions are everywhere, I have cried, laughed at memories, felt totally inadequate, guilt that it should be me and not Fiona, its so sad that her life should come to this and I feel totally frustrated that I cannot help her at her hour of need.
How I love that girl, 
sorry too many tears
Graham


----------



## richardjames

Graham - what a lovely, moving post you and Fiona deserve the best that life can bring


----------



## moblee

> How I love that girl


We can *All* see that in your posts graham....I sincerely wish you both the best.

Phil & janet.


----------



## dawnwynne

Graham,

The love you share is so very apparent and lovely to see. We all wish you the best and hope you have many more memories to make!


----------



## MrsW

Good luck to you both at this difficult time Graham! You remain in our thoughts and prayers.

Lesley & Dave xx


----------



## teljoy

gdleeds said:


> I returned to Fiona last night to be greeted with such a wonderful smile, what a girl with the battering she has just endured.
> 
> She was looking the best I have seen her for quite some days, I brushed her hair, tided her and watched as she took delight in the photos of the family and grandchildren I had brought.
> How cruel life can be, such a vibrant happy person, the kind of girl who lit a room when she entered. the love she showed to others,
> 
> I was asked yesterday about our background, and it dawned on me that our suburb partnership may be coming to an end
> 
> Fiona and I met 38 years ago, married for 35 of those. Raised 2 smashing boys who we are greatly proud of, we created and built up 3 successful business`s together working and living together 24/7, we build our own home, traveled extensively and I was so fortunate to have had Fiona at my side all that time.
> 
> My emotions are everywhere, I have cried, laughed at memories, felt totally inadequate, guilt that it should be me and not Fiona, its so sad that her life should come to this and I feel totally frustrated that I cannot help her at her hour of need.
> How I love that girl,
> sorry too many tears
> Graham


Thanks Graham, You've reminded us of the really important things in this life.

Teljoy


----------



## KeiththeBigUn

Graham, thank you once again for you update.

Our thoughts are with you and your family.

Keith and Ros


----------



## arh

My heartfelt commiserations to you both, I, unlike most people, (may they be forever grateful), have a good idea where you're at, as our eldest son died of a brain tumour at the ripe old age of 8, 12 weeks after they told us. The Macmillan Nurse told us "take all the photos that you can, just in case" and I pass this on to you. I pray that modern science serves you well. I wish you all the best, if that doesn't sound too trite. arh.


----------



## Invicta

I am so sorry Graham to read of Fiona's relapse.

A hospice as opposed to a hospital is the right place to be in these days to get the care and attention that people with terminal conditions require.

I do hope that you too are receiving the care and attention that we were given by all the hospice staff when my mother and years later my husband were admitted to the Pilgrims' Hospice in Canterbury.

Peggy (Invicta)


----------



## UncleNorm

A long time ago, when the engagement of Charles to Diana was announced, Charles was asked, "Do you love her?"
His reply was simply, "Whatever love is."

Perhaps if he were to read Graham's last post, Charles would have no doubts as to what love is....



gdleeds said:


> I returned to Fiona last night to be greeted with such a wonderful smile, what a girl with the battering she has just endured.
> 
> She was looking the best I have seen her for quite some days, I brushed her hair, tided her and watched as she took delight in the photos of the family and grandchildren I had brought.
> How cruel life can be, such a vibrant happy person, the kind of girl who lit a room when she entered. the love she showed to others,
> 
> I was asked yesterday about our background, and it dawned on me that our suburb partnership may be coming to an end
> 
> Fiona and I met 38 years ago, married for 35 of those. Raised 2 smashing boys who we are greatly proud of, we created and built up 3 successful business`s together working and living together 24/7, we build our own home, traveled extensively and I was so fortunate to have had Fiona at my side all that time.
> 
> My emotions are everywhere, I have cried, laughed at memories, felt totally inadequate, guilt that it should be me and not Fiona, its so sad that her life should come to this and I feel totally frustrated that I cannot help her at her hour of need.
> How I love that girl,
> sorry too many tears
> Graham


Stay strong Graham and Fiona, there's Florida to do!
XX


----------



## lalala

We have been away so have just read the postings. We send you all our very best wishes and hope that you soon have Fiona home again,
Lalala


----------



## catzontour

Hugs to you both

Catz


----------



## gdleeds

It is now quite obvious that the treatment Fiona endured has not worked, the nurses are gently persuading me to bring Fiona home for what remaining time we have together, it may be days, weeks or months.
I will be talking with the Macmillan nurse Monday to see what backup there is available and to make sure I am up to the task.
Fiona appears to get slightly weaker each day instead of been zappy with the highest dosage of medication allowed, she eats well, talks when awake but drifts off so much and sleeps so long.

Graham


----------



## Delores

Scary as it is if you bring her home the Macmillan nurses will do everything in their power to support you both. You will then be able to spend all the time you have in a familiar place in complete privacy surrounded family, friends and familiar things.

Like everyone has said I can't imagine what you're going through right now and all of my thoughts and prayers are with you both.

Take care.


----------



## locovan

Graham this is not the news any of us wanted to hear, bless you for having the courage to keep us informed.
The Macmillian nurses will give you all the support at home and all the equipment you might need and we will all give you the support you need when you wish to talk about it.
Our love to you both Mavis and Ray xx


----------



## Rapide561

locovan said:


> Graham this is not the news any of us wanted to hear, bless you for having the courage to keep us informed.
> The Macmillian nurses will give you all the support at home and all the equipment you might need and we will all give you the support you need when you wish to talk about it.
> Our love to you both Mavis and Ray xx


The MacMillan people are wonderful, and I agree with everything Mavis has said.

We are all with you both.

Russell


----------



## lalala

This is such sad news, your family will want to spend as much time as possible with Fiona and being at home will make this easier.
As others have said the Macmillan nurses will do all they can to help.
our thoughts are with you all,
Lala


----------



## Penquin

Graham, 

really sad to read your latest post and our thoughts and prayers are with you both and your family.

The Macmillan nurses are superb and will give you every support that is needed, do not feel worried that "you are not up to it" - from your numerous posts it is clearly apparent to ALL of us how much love and care you have for her and how well you will cope.

It is not easy to follow the route that now seems to have been imposed on you, tackle each and every day as it comes without fear or worries about the next week or month. The one thing you both have is your immense love for each other - that love will help both of you go through the time together.

When you can talk together about the things you have done together, the wonderful things you have done and, of course, your immense pride in the children that you have raised so successfully. They are the absolute proof of what excellent parents you have been and what a well matched couple you are.

Thank you for taking the time to keep us up to date, I am sure that if there was anything that any of us could do for you we would all do that with great humility - your strength and courage throughout this has been an excellent role model for all of us to emulate.

Best wishes,

Dave and Lesley


----------



## richardjames

I am so sorry to hear the latest disappointing news - my thoughts and prayers are with you both - keep strong


----------



## JockandRita

Penquin said:


> Thank you for taking the time to keep us up to date, I am sure that if there was anything that any of us could do for you we would all do that with great humility - your strength and courage throughout this has been an excellent role model for all of us to emulate.
> 
> Best wishes,
> 
> Dave and Lesley


Oh Graham,

This is such sad news, that any of us could wish to read, during Fiona's battle for life.

Penquin's words above say it all for Rita and I, and we wish you and the lads, all the strength that it takes to be able to cope with the coming days and weeks ahead.

I personally, would have been too proud to have shared the sad news and events over the last few months, with thousands of people I didn't even know. You are an inspiration to us all, and a credit to the very one, that you obviously love so much.........."your Fiona".

Much respect, and sincerest best wishes to you both at this time.

Jock & Rita.


----------



## carol

Graham and Fiona

The news is so sad, and must be devastating for you, but as others have said MacMillan nurses are brilliant, and will be with you all the way... 

Thank you for posting this news and for keeping us up to date. It is such a shame that having undergone the horrible treatment Fiona does not seem to have gained any benefit.

My thoughts and love are with you all and I am sure you will find your sons will be there to support you both.

xxx

Carol


----------



## brens

Graham, I was so sorry to read the update of your dear Fiona.
I hope you both get all the love and support you need at this time. brens


----------



## zulurita

locovan said:


> Graham this is not the news any of us wanted to hear, bless you for having the courage to keep us informed.
> The Macmillian nurses will give you all the support at home and all the equipment you might need and we will all give you the support you need when you wish to talk about it.


Graham, Thank you for keeping us updated. So sorry to read your last post.

As Mavis says the Macmillian nurses will support you all the way. You, Fiona and the boys are in my thoughts and prayers.


----------



## Suenliam

I too have been so sad to follow your journey and cannot begin to understand how you both must be feeling. Sad though it is, you both have been so fortunate to experience such love and friendship over 38 years and remember - nothing can take that away.

Perhaps a reminder to us all to appreciate love of each other in the good as well as the sad times.

Look after yourself Graham as your strength is so necessary just now.

Sue


----------



## midlifecrisismil

Graham

How devastated you must be to hear the new diagnosis and how sad that after all the harrowing treatment that Fiona has been through it has not worked.

Thank you for having the courage to continue updating the members on here because it must be really difficult to see the posts in black and white when they bring much more of a reality to the situation.

Bringing Fiona home to enjoy your unconditional love, the support of her family and familiar surroundings can only bring peace to Fiona.

I hope that you have gained some strength from our support and the support of all of the members on this forum and remember that that will continue until you no longer have a need of it.

With best wishes.

Milly and John


----------



## SueandRoger

Our thoughts are with you both in this very difficult time and I fully support what good work the Macmillan nurses do. In fact, I am just in the process of arranging to present a cheque for £500 to our local branch which we raised at my Masonic Ladies Festival in February and I would like to think that it will be used to help you and Fiona which no doubt in some way it will.

Sue and Roger


----------



## arh

To GDLeeds, I've spent a little while thinking over about sending this message, but right or wrong, here goes, Take her home, you'll never regret it, it'll be difficult, but you've already found that out, the Macmillan Nurses are on the other end of the phone day or night, and you'll be able to spend quality time with Fiona, which is all that matters now. ( I would'nt mind betting that you and Fiona have already made that decision by now anyway). Our thought are with you.


----------



## Sharnor

Hi Graham

I am so sorry to hear your very sad news.

As Jock said in an earlier post - with much respect and our very sincere wishes.

Norman and Sharon


----------



## hymerowner

Lost for words. Love to you both. Take her home and be strong for her.


----------



## hymerowner

How are things? You haven't posted for a while. 

Thinking of you


----------



## gdleeds

Yesterday I was informed that Fiona will be discharged from the Hospice in Leeds where she has been the last five weeks.
Her condition has improved from the deep coma like state she was in when she first arrived, now she is still poorly, but we see very small improvements, some days have been better than others, but her general demeanor shows us progress is taking place.
Fiona came home last week for the day and fully enjoyed the hours here.
Her walking is about non existent at present but she is now undergoing physiotherapy, which will continue when she does come home.
Her wit is great and comes out with some stunning one liners, having anyone overhearing in stitches, just don't know where they come from!
Fiona receives lots of visitors, card and her delight, letters, she loves longhand.
We know we have a long slow journey ahead, but Fiona has a positive jar and each day she drops crystals into a jar, two days ago she dropped three into the jar that was the best day we have shared, usually its one to say today I have been positive.. so she is thinking about herself and has a determination to get stronger and walk.
Fiona is on first name terms with the chef, her best mate as he prepares superb fayre, I`m seeing things pass Fiona's lips that I would never had dreamed of seeing, jam roly poly, double cream, her appetite is superb, eats every thing placed in front of her.
So she will be back home next week, nursing and equipment is been arranged and prepared.. so we venture on into another phase

thanks for reading my ramblings but seems to make me feel better.
regards
Graham


----------



## DTPCHEMICALS

We appreciate your updates Graham.
Positive thinking is a great medicine.

Best wishes to you both

dave p


----------



## sweetie

They are not ramblings Graham It is lovely to read how much you love Fiona and we hope she makes good progress.

Hope you have learnt to make good jam roly poly she will need plenty to build her up.

Steve


----------



## moblee

I was also wondering how things were going.

So thanks for the update from me as well.

Phil.


----------



## Hezbez

Good to hear from you.
Thanks for keeping in touch with your Facts friends.

Best wishes to you both as always.


----------



## Jezport

Great to hear a more positive post.


----------



## IrishHomer

Best wishes to you and Fiona. 

IH :wave: for Mavis & Fiona


----------



## JockandRita

gdleeds said:


> thanks for reading my ramblings but seems to make me feel better.


None of us regard them as ramblings Graham, and we are all so pleased to read such positive news about Fiona.

Thank you for the update, and please give Fiona our very best regards and good wishes for a speedy recovery.

Here's hoping that the "positive jar" becomes full to overflowing very soon. :thumbleft:

All the very best,

Jock & Rita.


----------



## zulurita

Thank you for the update Graham.

So glad Fiona is coming home and there is improvement.

Best wishes to you both.


----------



## richardjames

Many thanks, Graham, for the update - I'm glad this one is more upbeat and I hope it continues to be so


----------



## dawnwynne

Thanks for keeping us updated. Feel free to 'ramble' all you like we're all here for you.

I'm so pleased there has been improvement and Fiona is coming home. Please give our best to her and we are all thinking of you both and pray for the best.


----------



## bigbazza

Great news


----------



## lalala

thank you for the update Graham, it is really good that you have some positive news. Thinking of you all,
Lala


----------



## emmbeedee

Thanks for the more positive update, Graham, I don't & I don't think anyone on here regards them as ramblings. 
Doreen was asking me how Fiona was doing.
Keep on adding to that positive jar & best wishes to you both.

Michael.


----------



## midlifecrisismil

So happy to hear the news of Fionas improvement.

Stay strong and supportive.

Hope to hear that the positive jar is full to overflowing.

Best wishes

Milly


----------



## mygalnme

So glad to hear on a positive note, I had been wondering how things were...Best Wishes to you both and thank you for the updates Graham not ramblings, take care,
M&T


----------



## lindyloot

Hi Graham and Fiona sorry to have read that Fiona had a set back a few weeks ago, coming home will be a tonic for the both of you. Clay is still having siezures , has had his meds changed and they have improved a bit .We go to see the specialist at Frenchay at the end of the month ( his 4th visit there in 7 mths). He was given the choice 3 months ago about having the tumor removed then or wait till the next scan and if it has grown then there will be no choice but to operate. Fingers crossed it hasn't grown.
All the best to you and Fiona Rich and Lin


----------



## ruffingitsmoothly

It's so good to hear from you Graham all the very best wishes to you both.

My Sue unfortunately has started to have auras ( the early signs of a seizures) again. we have an MRI Scan later in the month but I fear the tumour has started to grow again unfortunately, but we shall see.

Thinking of you both.

Regards Pat


----------



## Phil42

Like everyone else who has followed this thread, I'm so glad to hear some positive news. You're obviously doing great Graham. Full of admiration for the way that you and Fiona are not only dealing with this awful situation but are able to share your experiences with the rest of us. It's amazing.


----------



## Penquin

Sorry not to have replied before - it is good to hear that she is coming home - home "bugs" are always much nicer than those in a hospital / hospice!

Do give her our best wishes - it is good to hear that her appetite is working well - food is essential for repair of tissue so "Every little helps".

I think many of us really value the time that you have put in to keeping us all as informed as possible - it is really good to be able to read your posts and , far from ramblings, to me they are the clearest demonstration possible of how much loving care she is getting from you. We are privileged to be able to read them.

Thank you.

Dave and Lesley


----------



## Otto-de-froste

We would also like to share in your positive news, and will continue to hold you in our thoughts and prayers

Paul & Kath


----------



## catzontour

Only just read your update and wanted to say thank you for taking the time to share some more positive news with us all. Like most people, I've been wondering how Fiona was getting on but didn't like to bother you, so a big "thank you" to Hymerowner as well for having the courage to post and ask you.

Catz


----------



## Delores

Thank you for taking the time to let us know - we're all thinking of you and sending you our thoughts and prayer. Good to see some positive things too - I love the idea of the crystals in the jar. 

Much love to both of you.

Beth & Steve


----------



## gdleeds

Yesterday Thursday 13th Fiona was due to come home to me, but unfortunately on Wednesday afternoon she had a relapse and fell back into a coma.
Thurs morning I was informed by the Consultant that the next 24 hours would be critical, as she has been having tremors a sign of an onset of a seizure, the coma could be a side effect of this or damage caused by the tumour itself, if the latter I am informed that Fiona may not change from her present condition and will gradually decline.
I am her in the hospice where I have been since yesterday morning, Fiona seems to come to the surface, smiles and fades back, she is in a very comfortable setting and in no pain or distress, I sat here watching the sun rise knowing that time may well be against us.
I feel calm perhaps the surroundings, but also anxious about the next few hours, the staff here are a special kind of people, with so much compassion

I`m now going back to sit and hold Fiona`s hand

God bless

Graham


----------



## mandyandandy

We are all with you, I am sure she will know you are there and be forever thankful . 

Take care
Hugs
Mandy


----------



## carol

Graham thinking of you 

Xx Carol


----------



## JockandRita

Thank you Graham, for finding the time to come on the forums to let us know about poor Fiona.

We are all anxious and praying that there will be progress in these crucial hours.
Please give Fiona's hand a special little squeeze from Rita and I.

We'll be thinking of you both.

Be brave Graham.

Deepest regards,

Jock & Rita.


----------



## sallytrafic

We are also thinking of you both .

Remember even when there is little response she will be still able to hear what you say to her and know you are with her. Tell her MHF is there too, with you both.


----------



## Jennifer

I have said a prayer for you and Fiona, and have sent my Angels to help you both.

Be strong and remember keep talking to Fiona.

God Bless you both

Jenny


----------



## locovan

Dear Graham I know just what you are going through as we went through my daughters 4 day coma when she finally left us at 16yers old.
The sunshine seems extra bright and the birds sing extra loud as the dawn appears again.
You live a quiet expectant life in strange surroundings.
Talk to her, as you just don't know she maybe able to hear your voice come through the deep sleep and thank her for the life she has lived with you.
Give that little hand a squeeze she will feel it.
I know you aren't getting sleep because you don't want to miss a time that she might open those lovely eyes.
My thoughts and prayers are with you both.


----------



## CaptainBligh

Thinking of you both.

God Bless

Captain Bligh


----------



## lalala

You are both in our thoughts,
Lala


----------



## DABurleigh

Graham,

Our thoughts are with you both. 

Just to reinforce what Frank has said - assume Fiona can hear.

Take the comfort and peace that comes from recognizing neither of you is in control of events, yet you are in the best place, surrounded by expert, experienced, beautiful people.

Dave


----------



## midlifecrisismil

Graham

How sad to hear your news after your last post which was so positive and optimistic.

You are both in my thoughts as you are in the thoughts of many many people on here.

Whatever the outcome stay strong in the memory of all those happy times the two of you have spent together and the love that you clearly have for each other.

Best wishes

Milly


----------



## IrishHomer

My thoughts are with you both today. I came into work grumbling about minor things and I now feel foolish and ungrateful, best wishes to you both.

IH :wave: for Mavis & Fiona


----------



## DTPCHEMICALS

Our thoughts and hopes are with you both.

Dave and Margaret


----------



## Delores

So sorry to hear the latest update. I think like many on here I was praying for a miracle for you.

You're both in our thoughts.

Beth & Steve


----------



## Penquin

What a real shame this is for all of us and what a devastation for you and your family. 

All of us had hoped and prayed that things would at least stabilise or hopefully improve so to find out this bad news is a shock to all of us.

there is really nothing that any of us can say, hang in there with her, she is in the best possible hands and at least is not in discomfort. The staff in hospices are truly inspirational - how they cope with their working environment is truly amazing and I am sure that they will be there to support you all whatever happens.

Thank you for having the strength and courage to post at such a traumatic time - all we can do is send you our prayers and best wishes, however much we would like to be able to do so much more.

Keep holding her hand and talking to her - such demonstrations of love really do make a difference.

Dave


----------



## UncleNorm

Hello Graham and Fiona. I'm so sorry to hear the latest news, not what we wanted. I feel totally inadequate at such sad times, can't help you at all, but you both remain in my thoughts.


----------



## mygalnme

Words seem so inadequate, but I,m sure al these messages are helping in some way, so along with all the others we send our heartfelt thoughts and prayers to you both xx
Margaret & Tony


----------



## MrsW

I'm thinking of you both today. Whicvever way things turn over the next few days you will both remain in my thoughts and prayers. Stay strong for the sake of yourself and your family at this difficult time and know we are all thinking of you all.

God bless you all.


----------



## richardjames

I am so sorry to hear the latest setback just when everything seemed to be going forward - my thoughts and prayers are with you


----------



## CliffyP

Cant add anything to whats already been said Graham, we can only offer our our heartfelt best wishes and hope things improve.
Kindest regards
Pat & Cliff


----------



## Suenliam

So sorry to read your update. Hold her hand and say all the things we don't always remember or get the chance to say when life is "normal". Fiona will hear and and whatever the next few hours and days have in store she will take special comfort from such contact.

Thinking of you both

Sue


----------



## Invicta

So very sorry Graham to read the latest news of your beloved Fiona. As others here have said, do talk to her and squeeze her hand. She will know that you are there with her.

I am so relieved to know that she is being cared for in a hospice as from my personal experience as the daughter in 1983 and the wife of a patient in 2005, both in our local local hospice, the staff will be caring for you as well as Fiona.

You are both very much in my thoughts and prayers.

Invicta (Peggy).


----------



## dawnwynne

Graham,

Like all those before me, I don't know what to say...our thoughts and prayers are with you as well.


----------



## bigbazza

So sorry, our thoughts are with you.


----------



## motorhomer2

So sorry to hear this latest setback. Our thoughts are with you at this difficult sad time.

George and Elizabeth


----------



## stephenpug

so sorry our thoughts are with you


----------



## geraldandannie

Thanks for taking the time to post your update on here, Graham.

I'm so sorry your update wasn't better news. As others have said, both of you are in our thoughts at this most difficult of times.

Gerald and Annie


----------



## tony_debs

not sure what to say,but god bless


----------



## gdleeds

Where do I start

Fiona was seen by the Consultant this morning and they were unable to determine her condition, it was a matter of waiting.

John our local Parish clergyman, who has been a true rock through all this event, came to visit, he played a song on the Cd, read from scriptures and prayed for Fiona, an extremely pleasant experience.

At around Lunchtime Fiona stirred, the nurse bathed her mouth with Pineapple juice on a sponge, eyes now open and the taste and effects offered by this fruit required faster and faster feeding, the nurse asked if she would like to drink from a cup (adapted) this was drunk with relish, I had brought a fruit salad I make daily, this was enjoyed with smiles, soup next then fruit and ice cream.

One of our sons visited in the midst of this, so he was overjoyed, as he expected the worst.

Fiona was given medication that would relax her as the seizures she had would have take a great deal out of her already weak body, so I slipped home, fell asleep and visited this evening.

She is relaxed and calm, and is been watched over by those angels at the hospice so I came home with a feeling of a great weight being lifted.

I started smoking again when Fiona was admitted to Wheatfields, gave up for 2 1/2 year, so made a coffee and sat on front step pondering today, and I came to a conclusion:
I believe that the words that John said over Fiona today worked, I`m a believer but not religious but I think Fiona was touched by God through John.

I accept what is going to happen will happen, but now I feel that Fiona will be looked after until we are together again.

Graham


----------



## lindyloot

Oh my Graham, when I read your earlier post i was in tears and felt for you both. Someone must be looking after you both , in our thoughts Rich and Lin


----------



## moblee

I would like to add my best wishes as well, Fiona and Graham

I wish you the Best

Phil & Janet


----------



## bozzer

My thoughts and prayers are with you. 
You are certainly Fionas rock.
Best wishes, Jan


----------



## Invicta

I have been so pleased to read your last posting Graham. It sounds from it that you are experiencing the inner peace that some of us who have gone through the experience that you are now having can identify with. I know I was greatly helped by the presence, words and deeds of both 'religious' people and others.

Whether one is 'religious' or not, the support from 'spiritual' people can be invaluable at times of stress. Spiritual wellbeing is not only for those who go to church. It is all around us. John is certainly imparting it as I am sure are the hospice staff caring for Fiona.

I have been baptised into the family of the church, a decision made for me as a baby, but then I was confirmed in my teens, a decision made by me. I do attend church, even more so since loosing my husband though I would admit though that for all this I am a doubting Thomas at times. I don't think anyone can say they are not particularly at times that you are now experiencing. At the funeral of a 2 year old child last year our vicar told the congregation that he did not have an answer for Hannah's sudden and unexpected death.

I try to live by Christian teachings but am the first to admit that I do sin on a regular basis particularly through thought. What I am trying to say Graham is I do sincerely hope that you are now feeling the love and support that John and others are giving you and that it will last throughout these dark days and beyond.

Peggy


----------



## MrsW

Glad to hjear Fiona has rallied a bit today. I do hope and pray that the time ahead will be bearable for you both and for the family as your life moves ever onwards. May God bless you all and bring you all peace.


----------



## prudence

Hi, I have been following your very sad times and my heart goes out to you and your family. God Bless. Prudence


----------



## SilverF1

God Bless you both. 


Our best wishes.


----------



## Dinks123

So sorry for you....take strength from all your friends on this forum.


----------



## daddysgirl

Graham, 

Like many here I have been following your sad story from the beginning, and hoping at each turn that Fiona would beat the odds.

I can only hope that should I ever find myself in a situation similar to yours, I can behave with a fraction of the strength, grace and fortitude you are displaying.

My very best wishes, Dee


----------



## catzontour

Treasure those brief moments when Fiona awakes but continue to transmit your love for her through your gentle murmurings and a squeeze of her hand as she sleeps. Thinking of you and your family.


----------



## gdleeds

Today Sunday I was informed that we are now close to the end, I will make one final blog when that happens.
I would at this time like to thank all of you for your continued support, love and understanding.

A quote I found that I passed to my boys to help them at this time

_ Say not in grief
She is no more
But in thankfulness
She was

_regards
Graham


----------



## richardjames

Graham - I am so sorry at the latest development when things looked hopeful again - I am amazed at how you have handled it all and remainiing positive - God be with you and your family at this sad time and fight on


----------



## Penquin

I am very sad to hear your news, it was not looking good recently, I will make sure MrsW is also aware and I am sure she will send her own message later (she's at work at the moment).

I hope that the remaining time passes peacefully and painlessly, it will be a shock and a major loss when sadly she is called back to base. But thank you for keeping us in the frame, we will all be thinking of all of you and will continue to offer prayers for an easy passage.

Dave


----------



## lindyloot

Graham Rich and myself are sending you and Fiona a virtual hug to help you through ,we shall be thinking of you both on this last journey.
Regards and best wishes Rich and Lin


----------



## EJB

Our thoughts and prayers are with you all the time.


----------



## locovan

xx Words are failing me --you have been so brave xx


----------



## bozzer

"The pain now is part of the happiness then. That's the deal" - C S Lewis

You are so brave Graham. Keep strong.
Our thoughts are with you.
Jan and Brian


----------



## Nora+Neil

Our prayers are with you, Fiona and family.xx


----------



## waspes

Our prayers are with you both

Peter and Eliz.


----------



## SPACEFLOWER

Our thoughts are with you Graham Fiona and your family.


June and John


----------



## carolgavin

Thinking of you and your family.


----------



## Suenliam

Always remember the love you share. Nothing, but nothing can take that away.

Sue


----------



## DTPCHEMICALS

So sorry to hear the news Graham Life can be so cruel
Our thoughts are with you and Fiona


Dave and Margaret


----------



## mygalnme

So very sorry Graham, whatever time you have left be it in the knowledge of the deep love you have shared and the happy memories you will keep xx
Margaret & Tony


----------



## moblee

Our thoughts are with you Graham,Fiona and Family.



Phil and Janet.


----------



## catzontour

Our thoughts are with you and your family.


----------



## JockandRita

Graham,

It is so brave and thoughtful of you to keep us all informed, especially when there are more pressing thoughts and emotions going through your mind at this time.

This is not the news that any of us wanted to hear, least of all, you and your boys, and it is with great sadness and the deepest of respect, that we take in and acknowledge the sad news, hoping that peace and tranquillity, are with you both during these precious last few hours and days together.

You, Fiona and the boys will be in our thoughts and prayers over this forth coming period.

We are told, that when life appears to be so cruel, there is reason for the circumstances and situations that we find ourselves thrown into. Half the battle of coping under these conditions, would be knowing *the reason* why these things are happening to us, and why the right nasty people in our world, are allowed to remain in our presence, when our innocent loved ones are being taken from us.

With deepest respect,

Jock & Rita.


----------



## Jennifer

God Bless you all, and may each of you find the strength you need during this coming difficult time. God gives life, and god takes life, nothing can alter that. Cherish all those happy, happy times that you have shared.

Jenny


----------



## dawnwynne

Graham,

I'm so sorry to hear your news and am speechless. You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.


----------



## rowley

My thoughts and prayers are with you at this sad time.


----------



## IrishHomer

So sorry to hear today's news Graham. My thoughts are with you all.

IH :wave: for Mavis & Fiona


----------



## Otto-de-froste

Oh Dear Father God 

Right now I pray for your love and compassion to Graham and Fiona

Lord - hear our prayers


----------



## asprn

Graham,

You, Fiona and your family have been continually in my thoughts throughout today. I've been very moved by your account of Fiona's journey throughout, and of her great courage. Please be assured you'll continue to be in my thoughts.

Dougie.


----------



## hymerowner

My thoughts are with you - I wish I could help


----------



## HurricaneSmith

None of us want to read your final blog Graham.

Your notes have moved us, and we'd hoped for better news.

We are thinking of your family,

John and Yvonne


----------



## MrsW

Dave told me of your latest post in an email to me at work and I struggled to work after that. Although I never met Fiona I am none the less mortified to read your latest news Graham. Fiona, you and the family remain in my thoughts and prayers in the hours, days and weeks ahead. God bless you all.
Lesley.


----------



## Carl_n_Flo

Graham and Fiona...

Flo and I have followed your journey over this difficult time and words just fail to form to express what we feel.......

We have never met.......may never do so.......but you have touched our hearts......

Take care.....Graham - worship the love you have had together and the love of your family still with you......Fiona - our thoughts, prayers and love are with you....

Carl & Florence..


----------



## Delores

So very sorry to hear your latest news. As everyone else has said our thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.

Beth & Steve


----------



## SaddleTramp

Thinking of You.

Les & Chris


----------



## neilanddot

Fiona and Graham 
At this point we can only offer you our love and friendship to help you now and in the weeks ahead. Neil and Dot


----------



## Sundial

*Fiona*

Thinking of you - praying for you both

Sundial
Terry and Jean


----------



## JackieP

How brave of you to share these sad times with us. Thinking of you both. x


----------



## hymerowner

Don't know if you are reading this, but my thoughts are with you. Love to you both.


----------



## gdleeds

Monday 10.45am the Angels came for Fiona, I was fortunate to be holding Fiona`s hand at the time, she passed away very peacefully.

Fiona Mum and brother had been away until Sat, and I truly believe Fiona held on to hear their voices.

Now we have reached the end of a fantastic journey together taking us to many places over our 38 years together.

Friends ask how I am, I feel calm and content that Fiona is in a place where she is being looked after until we are both together again

I and all who knew her will miss her greatly as she brought her bubbly personality into all our lives, a remarkable woman, who loved deeply her family and friends.

Gone but never forgotten

regards to all

Graham


----------



## locovan

Oh Graham Im so deeply sorry but thanks for taking the time to let us know.
She did put up a brave fight I know.
You have such lovely memories of a lovely lady and you must be so proud of her.
We should all raise a glass today to our Fiona.
Love to you and your family and keep brave through the next few days when the tears fall and just remember the happy time's.
Love Mavis and Ray


----------



## litcher

Graham, I'm so, so sorry. 

Your love and memories will help in the difficult time ahead.

My thoughts are with you.

Viv


----------



## mandyandandy

Such sad news, just a thank you for the time you have taken to share the ups and downs with us all. 

Just know that we have all been with you these past few months and will always be around when you need to share anything. 

Thinking of you so much , the events of your lives have changed my attitude to mine alot, for that I thank you again. 

Mandy


----------



## dawnwynne

Graham,

I'm so sorry....hold on to all those wonderful memories you have and they will help you to find the strength to go on.

You're in our thoughts and prayers.


----------



## bozzer

Graham

I'm so sorry for you and your family. 

My thoughts are with you at this very sad time.

Jan


----------



## artona

Graham, I am so pleased it was peaceful for Fiona and that her mum and brother got there.

My best regards to you both and whilst I am sad for you that your journey together has been interrupted I am pleased it has been such a nice one.


stew


----------



## zappy61

Hi Graham,

Words are never enough, but celebrate what you have had together and what Fiona would want you to do to find happiness.

Our deepest sympathy,

Graham


----------



## sallytrafic

Thank you for taking the time to share this with us Graham. Of course we are so sorry to hear this news but take heart in the self-evident love for Fiona that you have shown.


----------



## KeiththeBigUn

Dear Graham,

I am truly sorry to read this. Our sympathies are with you and your family at this time.

God bless.

Keith and Ros


----------



## MrsW

Graham thank you for finding the time to come on here and share your sad news with us all. I am sure that nothing any of us can write will decrease your pain and sadness at this time but please be aware that we are all here for you (and your family) as and when you feel we might be able to help. Meanwhile thank you very much for the enormous dignity with which you have kept us all updated on Fiona's illness and her struggles. I am just glad that she was able to hang on long enough for her Mum and brother to get back and that you were able to hold her hand as she slipped away from you. 

You will remain in my thoughts and prayers over the coming days and weeks and I will pray that you are able to pick up the tatters of your life now Fiona in no longer physically with you and move forward. God bless you and the family. 

Lesley.


----------



## LadyJ

So sorry to hear your sad news Graham am thinking of you


Jacquie


----------



## teljoy

There aren't enough words to comfort you Graham.

Just remember you will always have memories.

Terry


----------



## Jennifer

Graham, you have been a tower of strength to Fiona, and all of us here on this forum, respect and look up to your ability to have kept us up to date with the news, culminating in the inevitable

Fiona has earned her angel wings, and she will guide and guard you for the rest of your life on this plain, we call earth. Love, cherish and respect the life you had together. At times you will feel such sadness, and other times you will feel such joy, but always remember, Fiona will always be with you.

God Bless you Graham

Jenny


----------



## geraldandannie

Hi Graham

So many, like us, have been following your tragic story. Thank you for sharing the sad news with us.

Gerald and Annie


----------



## midlifecrisismil

Dear Graham

At times like this words are often difficult to find. But I hope it is of comfort to you to know that so many people on here are thinking of you at this very sad time.

Take joy in the memories of your lives together and strength from your family in the difficult days to come. 

Fiona is now resting in peace. 

Best wishes

Milly


----------



## CliffyP

Sincere and heartfelt condolences to you and your family.

Pat & Cliff


----------



## icer

Graham

I have been following Fiona's battle and was truly impressed with your love for one another.

RIP Fiona

Ian


----------



## asprn

Graham,

You've stepped up to the mark and demonstrated the depth of your love to Fiona when she needed it most. In the days, weeks and months to come, hold on to that.

Thank you for sharing this last part of your journey together with all of us here - it has been the most moving thing, and has made me realise again our common humanity, and how we must make the most of our lives.

You'll continue to be in my thoughts.

With best wishes,

Dougie.


----------



## JackieP

Dougie has summed it up nicely. Take care of yourself now Graham.


----------



## Delores

Hi Graham

Your dignity and love has shone through all of your posts, as has Fiona's bright light and humour.

We wish you and your family all the love, peace and time you need over the next couple of weeks as you plan and attend the funeral and for your future as you all adjust to life without this remarkable woman.

The poem below has helped me enormously when I have lost close members of my family:

*Remember *

REMEMBER me when I am gone away, 
Gone far away into the silent land; 
When you can no more hold me by the hand, 
Nor I half turn to go, yet turning stay. 
Remember me when no more day by day 
You tell me of our future that you plann'd: 
Only remember me; you understand 
It will be late to counsel then or pray. 
Yet if you should forget me for a while 
And afterwards remember, do not grieve:
For if the darkness and corruption leave 
A vestige of the thoughts that once I had, 
Better by far you should forget and smile 
Than that you should remember and be sad.

_Christina Rossetti _

Take care

Beth & Steve


----------



## neilanddot

Dear Graham. So very sorry to hear about Fiona passing away, we have followed your agonising path and are pleased that the end was so peaceful, your happy times together over the years with all those memories will give you both pleasure and strength at times when you most need them. Thank you again for including us all. 
With love to Fiona and yourself. Neil and Dot


----------



## davesport

My thoughts are with you & yours at this time. 

Regards David.


----------



## IrishHomer

Graham, 
Sincerest condolences to you and your family on the loss of Fiona. Although I don't know either of you personally I have followed your posts with sadness and admiration, both for Fiona and for you and the courage you have both demonstrated in different ways. May you take some comfort in your faith and belief. Take care of yourself now, 
Irishhomer


----------



## mygalnme

Dear Graham and family Our heartfelt thoughts are with you all at this sad time,
Margaret and Tony


----------



## emmbeedee

Graham, we have been following your posts with a mixture of sadness & disbelief that this tragedy has occurred in just a few short months. As someone else has said, words are never enough.
Our thoughts & prayers are with you.

Michael & Doreen.


----------



## Carl_n_Flo

Dear Graham - we are both so sorry and thank you for your bravery for keeping us all informed.

Florence and I send our heartfelt and deepest condolences to you and your family at this sad time and hope and pray for you to hang on to the memories, the love and the clear friendship you had together.

Beth's poem hits the spot perfectly......

Carl & Florence


----------



## Jezport

Dear Graham,

I am sorry to hear of the loss of Fiona.

Our thoughts are with you.

The Jezport Family


----------



## teemyob

*Loss*

Graham, I am so sorry to her of your loss. I had lost track of the thread and was shocked to see your posting here today.

Regards,
Trev.


----------



## JockandRita

Hi Graham,

Like so many of us on here, we have been following Fiona's tragic journey, through your bravery and compassion shown on this forum. So many of us were hoping and praying for her recovery, which only the good Lord above will know, the reasons why that wasn't to be.

Dougie's words say it all for Rita and I.

With the deepest of sympathy and sincerest condolences,

Jock & Rita.


----------



## Suenliam

Dear Graham - remember no one can take away the memories or the love you shared. Look forward to the day you can remember with a smile rather than with sadness.

Sue


----------



## lindyloot

Graham our thoughts are with you and the family. I found this little verse I hope it will help.

Those we love remain with us
For love itself lives on,
And cherished memories never fade
Because a loved one's gone.
Those we love can never be
More than a thought apart,
For as long as there is memory,
They'll live on in the heart.

Rest in Peace Fiona

regards Rich and Lin


----------



## HurricaneSmith

Yvonne and I are so sorry to read of your loss.

Your eloquence and love has moved us all.

The memories you both shared will help you through the days ahead and you will continue in our thoughts.


----------



## whistlinggypsy

Graham, Barbara and I send our deepest sympathy to you for your great loss, we only met you and Fiona once before at Tollerton shortly after you got the Burstner and it was a pleasure meeting you both.

Sleep in peace Fiona, you will sadly missed.

Barbara and Bob


----------



## moblee

Graham

I am very sorry to hear your news

Your Love,Dignity and Courage has *Truly* humbled me.

Phil.


----------



## Sundial

*Fiona*

Thinking of you and your family at this time - keep the memories fresh, talk about Fiona often and she will not be far away.

Our kindest regards
Jean & Terry - Sundial


----------



## stewartwebr

Graham,

I am so very sorry to hear of your loss. We are both thinking of you and your family.

Stewart & Garry


----------



## PAT4NEIL

Our thoughts are with you and your family in the loss of someone who was much loved.

Pat and Neil


----------



## Invicta

I was so sorry to read about Fiona loosing the battle to stay with you here on earth Graham. You have certainly been a tower of strength to her during the past few months.

Here are some words that have gone some way to bring me comfort since my husband departed from his earthly life nearly five years ago: 

To my dearest family, some things I'd like to say. 
But first of all, to let you know, that I arrived okay. 
I'm writing this from heaven. Here I dwell with God above. 
Here, there's no more tears of sadness; Here is just eternal love.

Please do not be unhappy just because I'm out of sight. 
Remember that I am with you every morning, noon and night. 
That day I had to leave you when my life on earth was through. 
God picked me up and hugged me and He said, "I welcome you.

It's good to have you back again, you were missed while you were gone. 
As for your dearest family, They'll be here later on. 
I need you here badly, you're part of my plan. 
There's so much that we have to do, to help our mortal man."

God gave me a list of things that he wished for me to do. 
And foremost on the list, was to watch and care for you. 
And when you lie in bed at night the day's chores put to flight. 
God and I are closest to you....in the middle of the night.

When you think of my life on earth, and all those loving years. 
Because you are only human, they are bound to bring you tears. 
But do not be afraid to cry: it does relieve the pain. 
Remember there would be no flowers, unless there was some rain.

I wish that I could tell you all that God has planned. 
If I were to tell you, you wouldn't understand. 
But one thing is for certain, though my life on earth is o'er. 
I'm closer to you now, than I ever was before.

There are many rocky roads ahead of you and many hills to climb; 
But together we can do it by taking one day at a time. 
It was always my philosophy and I'd like it for you too; 
That as you give unto the world, the world will give to you.

If you can help somebody who's in sorrow and pain; 
Then you can say to God at night......"My day was not in vain." 
And now I am contented....that my life was worthwhile. 
Knowing as I passed along the way I made somebody smile.

So if you meet somebody who is sad and feeling low; 
Just lend a hand to pick him up, as on your way you go. 
When you're walking down the street and you've got me on your mind; 
I'm walking in your footsteps only half a step behind.

And when it's time for you to go....from that body to be free. 
Remember you're not going.....you're coming here to me.

Author: Ruth Ann Mahaffey

Peggy (Invicta)


----------



## zulurita

Just found internet acess here in Germany and then saw your news. So sorry for your loss.

My thoughts are with you and your family.


----------



## bigbazza

Our thoughts are with you and your family.
Rest in peace Fiona.


----------



## Penquin

I am so sorry not to have responded before but this is the first time I have been on here today.

MrsW has already expressed the wishes for both of us and I can only add a massive thankyou to *you* for the love and support that you have clearly shown not only to Fiona as she has fought through the last few months but also to all of the readers of this thread.

Your dignity and courage have been commented on by so many people so eloquently that all I can do is echo their comments.

Fiona has, sadly, moved on, but she will of course always be with you - perhaps even closer now that she could be in the past. Talk to her freely, she will be with you 24/7.

We will all bear your memories with us as we progress on, never sure what is around the next corner - the way that you have tackled this terrible journey is an example to all of us for our life ahead.

Rest in peace Fiona, our thoughts are with Graham and your family.

Dave


----------



## SPACEFLOWER

Our thoughts are with you and the family Graham.

Rest in peace now dear Fiona.x

June and John


----------



## LisaB

I have never met either of you, but I have been touched by a tragic story that has been treated with such strength of love and character and dignity, that I wished I had met you.

My sincere condolences to you and your family.


----------



## Rapide561

*Fiona*

Graham

My thoughts are with you and your family duting this time.

Russell


----------



## CatherineandSteve

Graham,

Our thoughts and wishes to you and your family at this time 

Catherine & Steve


----------



## Sideways86

*Courage and love*

Graham

I am touched beyond words with your strength dignity and love you have shown over the last troubled while for you both

There has always been sincerity and warmth in your updates and you and wonderful wife will always be in our fond memories

I think I speak for many of our motorhome family when I say I am reduced to tears and share your pain and loss

Think of the great times and happy moments you shared they will carry you safely through your saddest times

i didn't know you both but then again I feel and now do!

RIP to Fiona our motorhome friend

John and Sue


----------



## carolgavin

Truly sorry for your loss, thinking of you and your family in the coming days.


----------



## ThePrisoner

We are so sorry to hear of your tragic loss. It is just so very sad.

God bless you and keep you.


----------



## hymerowner

Lost for words again, Graham. Take care and don't make this your last post.


----------



## DTPCHEMICALS

We have been away for a few days and missed your update.

Our thoughts are with you
Dave and Margaret.


----------



## greenasthegrass

Our sincere condolences to you and your family.

Janet and Drew


----------



## sweetie

Graham 

Our thoughts are with you at this sad time.

R. I. P. Fiona

Steve & Briar


----------



## catzontour

What courage, strength and dignity you have shown. Cherish the memories you have.

Our thoughts are with you.

Catz


----------



## cater_racer

Sorry, good luck.

cater


----------



## bonnieboo

Dear Graham & family

You can shed tears that she is gone 
or you can smile because she has lived. 
You can close your eyes and pray that she'll come back 
or you can open your eyes and see all she has left. 
You heart can be empty cos you can't see her or you can be full of the love you shared
You can turn your back on tomorrow and live yesterday 
or you can be happy for tomorrow because of yesterday. 
You can remember her and only that she's gone 
or you can cherish her memory and let it live on. 
You can cry and close your mind, be empty and turn your back
Or you can do what she'd want, smile, open your eyes, love and go on

Our thoughts are with you
God bless
Jakki & Brian


----------



## Waggie

*Condolences*

Our thoughts are with you at this sad time.

R. I. P. Fiona


----------



## waspes

Sorry for your loss our thoughts are with you at this sad time.

Peter & Eliz.


----------



## Briarose

Dear Graham

I am so sorry to hear your news, I have followed all your posts since the time Fiona was first ill, and indeed thought about you both so much during that time.

I lost my own Dad four weeks ago yesterday, and I so appreciated the posts and PMs from members on here it really helped, so I truly hope that all the messages help you in the same way.

When my best friends Mum died a few years ago I suggested to her that she write a letter to her Mum, which she did and in fact read it out at the funeral, I took my own advice when Dad died and although I couldn't have actually read it out at the funeral, I wrote Dad that last letter and the vicar read it out...........I don't know if this would help you in the same way, but it certainly did help me and also gave a more personal feel to the service, somehow it allows you to bring back all sorts of memories and thoughts.

I am thinking of you all tonight, take care of you and yours you will all need to be so strong right now.

Nette xxx


----------



## Ian_n_Suzy

Graham, our thoughts are with you and your family at this very sad time.


----------



## Nora+Neil

Graham.

Thought and prayer are with you all.


----------



## UncleNorm

Dear Graham, 

Sandra and I are so sorry to read the sad news that Fiona has been taken by the Angels. Please accept our deepest condolences.


----------



## Ian-rapido

Graham,

We are so sorry for your loss,

we have been following the thread from the beginning with great sadness and I haven't been able to put my thoughts into writing.

Take care Graham, our thoughts are with you and your family at this very sad time.

Ian & Cheryl.


----------



## Freddiebooks

Goodness me, i'm so sad to hear the news.

I have just read again the first post all those months ago. In our worst nightmares we wouldn't have thought it would end like this.

Make sure you forfill the dreams for two. 

In my thoughts.

Freddiebooks


----------



## Motorhomersimpson

Graham,

like so many here I'm saddened by what has happened, like so many I'm also struggling for words that can express how I feel after following your posts since the beginning. 

My thoughts are with you and your family at this very sad time.

Rob


----------



## greenacre

Graham.
So sorry to hear your sad news. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family at this sad time.
Maria


----------



## teemyob

*38*



gdleeds said:


> Monday 10.45am the Angels came for Fiona, I was fortunate to be holding Fiona`s hand at the time, she passed away very peacefully.
> 
> Fiona Mum and brother had been away until Sat, and I truly believe Fiona held on to hear their voices.
> 
> Now we have reached the end of a fantastic journey together taking us to many places over our 38 years together.
> 
> Friends ask how I am, I feel calm and content that Fiona is in a place where she is being looked after until we are both together again
> 
> I and all who knew her will miss her greatly as she brought her bubbly personality into all our lives, a remarkable woman, who loved deeply her family and friends.
> 
> Gone but never forgotten
> 
> regards to all
> 
> Graham


"Now we have reached the end of a fantastic journey together taking us to many places over our 38 years together"

Come back and tell us about those times/years/travels.

TM

Trev


----------



## mikeyv

So sorry for your loss Graham.

This has been a hard thread to read at times, heartwarming at others, thank you for writing it though, it must have been very difficult.

A reminder to us all to make the most of the time we have.

RIP Fiona.


----------



## Snelly

Graham, I have followed your thread from the beginning and im saddened to hear of Fiona's passing. You can be proud and take solice that you had so many happy years together. Its not an easy road ahead, but you can always rely on us, your friends, if you ever need to talk, your never alone.

Hugs

Shane and the gang x


----------



## kennyboy

Dear Graham

Cath and I are so terribly sorry and very sad to hear your news.
Rest in peace dear Fiona xx

Ken


----------



## EJB

Our thoughts are with you.


----------



## richardjames

I, too, am at a loss for the right words but my thoughts are with you and your family at this sad occasion


----------



## Groper

Numerous posts have already expressed how I feel far more eloquently than I could say them.My thoughts are with you and your family.


----------



## Broom

Graham

I have followed your posts since you joined MHF as you are local to us.

I am so very sorry to hear of your sad news

Adrian


----------



## Fairportgoer

Graham,

Words are never enough, but we send our heartfelt sympathies to you and your family.

Thinking of you at this sad time.

Dean & Angela

x


----------



## georgiemac

Everything I am thinking has been said - RIP to your much loved wife Fiona - what a wonderful partner she had in you


----------



## Otto-de-froste

Graham

So very sorry

Thinking of you and praying today

Paul and Kath


----------



## JLO

Graham

I had to wipe my eyes several times before I could actually see to type this. We are thinking of you please accept our condolences.

R.I.P Fiona

Jacqui & Ted


----------



## SilverF1

Graham, you have been exemplary in helping Fiona in her fight, even taking time out to update us. No-one reading your post could fail to be moved.

God Bless.


----------



## hymerowner

How are you Graham? Thinking of you


----------



## gdleeds

Today I`m in Florida with with boys on the holiday Fiona and I arranged last year prior to our problems.
I re read the blog and thought I would bring everyone up to date with a postscript.

Fiona`s funeral was sad yet a delight as it was a celebration of her life, St Wilfrids in our village of Calverley was full of friends and relatives, I requested that all wear something `Pink` Fiona`s favourite colour, even the Rev John Walker who took the service wore a pink cancer emblem on his vestments.

I was asked to create a tribute, unable to put into words, I created a DVD on my iMac, which does a very professional intro, so I selected with great difficulty 5 songs and a selection of Fiona`s life on photo`s and used these as my tribute, these were played at various parts of the service.

We entered the Church with Fiona being beared by her sons and close family to the song
Up where we belong - Joe Cocker & Jennifer Warnes and 
Forever Young - Rod Stewart with the intro on a large projection screen
A beautiful tradition service followed, with a break with Robbie Williams song Angels, Rev John sang a hymn in his superb voice, poems, eulogies and words from our boys followed... Again a break whilst Rod Stewart sang my favourite song to Fiona..` Have I told you lately` the service ended with us leaving the Church to the Righteous Brothers song `Unchained Melody`
As you can imagine there were no dry eyes in the Church and the service lasted for 2 hours.
Afterwards I got repeated congratulations on the service being outstanding, uplifting, never been to a funeral like it.... Fiona would have approved.
Donations of £789 were taken at the Church for Wheatfields Hospice.. drinks and a toast were held locally and enjoyed by all.

Our local weekly paper did a feature on Fiona that I have placed below

As for me, everything happened so quickly, I an now coming to terms with my loss, but I will be buried when my time come with Fiona so we will always be together

God bless you all

Graham


----------



## asprn

Thank you Graham - God bless you too.

Dougie.


----------



## midlifecrisismil

Dear Graham

Thank you for your post - good to hear from you again.

The funeral sounds like a very beautiful and moving service - a fitting tribute to Fiona.

I have read the newspaper article and clearly Fiona was a wonderful person - you must miss her deeply.

Have a restful and peaceful holiday with your sons and everyone on here looks forward to hearing from you in the future.

Best wishes

Milly


----------



## locovan

Nice to hear from you Graham and you do sound very strong so keep that up.
What a lovely family you have around you so just recharge you batteries and I hope you all go from strength to strength so that you can remember the happy times and what a sweet wife and mother she was.
As Dougie says god bless you all xx


----------



## richardjames

Thank you, Graham for your update - once again you must have been reading my thoughts because I was only today thinking about how thing were going with you and your family. I'm glad you are just beginning to come to terms with your loss but it will be a long road
God be with you


----------



## Jennifer

May Fiona's Angels sit on your shoulder and watch over you until such time as she feels she needs you beside her once again.

God Bless you

Jenny


----------



## bigbazza

A beautiful end for a beautiful lady.
You were very strong and did her proud.
Keep in touch.


----------



## lalala

Graham and family,
the service sounds to have been amazing. Your family around you will be such a help, 
you are in our thoughts
Lala


----------



## dawnwynne

Graham

Thank you for posting. I have thought of you many times over the past few weeks. 

The funeral sounds like it was truly lovely. I'm sure Fiona would have been very pleased.

I'm glad you have gone to Florida. When you get back remember there are many people here who will listen if you need someone to talk to.


----------



## overthemoon

So very sorry to hear of your loss, you obviously had an amazing life together and fond memories are always of the good times and will never fade, God bless you,
David and June


----------



## mygalnme

Dear Graham thank you for finding time and courage to let us know how things went, it sounded a beautiful service. Enjoy the break with I,m sure Fiona looking over you,as she always will be. God Bless
Margaret and Tony


----------



## DTPCHEMICALS

Graham it must be dificult to sit down and inform us of what has happened over the past few months.
We admire your courage and the way you have handled the situation.
Thinking of you and your familly.
Dave and Margaret


----------



## Rapide561

*Fiona*

Graham

I am very rarely sensitive to what I read or hear, but I must say your choice of music, especially "Angels" has caused a tear or two.

I hope that, should I ever have to face terrible things that you and your family have, I am able to do it with the dignity you have shown. I have probably used the wrong words a bit here, but I hope you understand what I am trying to say.

For anyone not familiar with "Angels", here are the words.

I sit and wait
does an angel contemplate my fate 
and do they know 
the places where we go 
when we´re grey and old 
´cos I´ve been told 
that salvation lets their wings unfold 
so when I'm lying in my bed 
thoughts running through my head 
and I feel that love is dead 
I'm loving angels instead

and through it all she offers me protection 
a lot of love and affection 
whether I'm right or wrong 
and down the waterfall 
wherever it may take me 
I know that life wont break me 
when I come to call she wont forsake me 
I'm loving angels instead

when I'm feeling weak 
and my pain walks down a one way street 
I look above 
and I know ill always be blessed with love 
and as the feeling grows 
she breathes flesh to my bones 
and when love is dead 
I'm loving angels instead

*and through it all she offers me protection 
a lot of love and affection 
whether I'm right or wrong 
and down the waterfall 
wherever it may take me 
I know that life wont break me 
when I come to call she wont forsake me 
I'm loving angels instead *

The last verse is beautiful.

Russell


----------



## Suenliam

I too have been wondering how you are coping Graham. It sounds a beautiful service and yet another warm and lovely memory to keep.

Sue


----------



## Otto-de-froste

Graham
You have been in my thoughts and prayers throughout, and I can only admire your courage and selflessness, and the inspiration you have provided to many members including me

For all your heartbreak and anguish, it is clear that you have spoken into the lives of many people who are worried, insecure, and suffering their own loss.
You have sown good seeds into some lives that were probably crying out for comfort, whilst enduring your own sorrows

You have my absolute respect; and my heartfelt wish is for you and your children to enjoy a close and loving life.

I don't doubt for one minute that you will be with Fiona again one day

Every blessing to you and yours


Paul


----------



## JockandRita

Hello Graham,

It has often crossed our minds too, as to how Fiona's funeral went, and how you are managing. 
Having just returned from 3 weeks in German, (literally, but not home yet), where finding open WiFi, was like finding rocking horse manure, we have only just managed to read your much welcomed update, and your tribute to Fiona in your local press. 

Like most folks, I don't relish the thought of attending funerals, but judging by your very detailed description of Fiona's, I feel that I would have been honoured to have been there.

May your trip to Florida with your lads, be everything that you would have wanted under the circumstances, and hope that it goes some way to help to creating a peace and calm within your lives, in the absence of a loving wife, companion, best friend, and mother.

God bless you and the lads too Graham.

Best wishes and thoughts,

Jock & Rita.


----------



## Briarose

Graham thank you so much for updating us all, I too have wondered how you were and how the funeral went...........you have my admiration for putting together such a lovely service.

I think you and Fiona have touched many of our lives here on MHF as your story unfolded............you have also taught me to take what time I can away from my business and enjoy more time off in our motorhome. 

I hope that you manage to enjoy your time on holiday in Florida spent with your close family..........I bet Fiona is watching over your shoulder and is with you too.

Take care and let us know how Florida was on your return.

Nette


----------



## Dinks123

We have no words...only thoughts for people we do not know. Graham, you can only move forward with the support you have from memories of your history......keep your chin up...! 
Regard, Di and Clive


----------



## bonnieboo

Dear Graham

Wondering how you are and want to let you know that we are still thinking of you.

Jakki & Brian


----------



## gdleeds

Many times over last past few weeks I have thought to keep in touch with all of you who so generously gave me support but it was just too hard.

When Fiona passed away I felt my grieving had started back in January when we where given the terminal diagnosis, but this has not been the case.

Its now 7 weeks today that Fiona passed away and the sadness, sorrow and longing does not ease but intensifies. 
I thought I was able to cope but believe me it hard.

The holiday to Florida was much needed by us all, a change of scenery and some distraction, the first week was OK in the Villa as the kids were everywhere but the second week in the Hotel was hard as I have never been alone before and that week was very emotional.

Last week I turfed the grave and made it more presentable, I`m unable to have a stone erected before the end of 6 months, the following day I took Fiona`s Mum with me back to Wheatfields hospice and presented them with a cheque for £820.00 donation raised at the funeral. 
Later we went for lunch at Fiona`s favourite restaurant only for the Italian head waiter to come and sit with us and express his condolences, again more tears, this was followed by Fiona`s Mum`s first visit to her daughters graveside since the funeral so quite a day all told.

I`m eating but loosing weight, need to after the long spell of inactivity, I`v booked myself a couple of breaks, tomorrow I go on a landscape photography course in the Yorkshire dales for 4 days, in the hope I can improve my hobby, the second is to Spain for Golf lessons to help me improve my game.

I`m going on Saturday to the Northern Motor home show, I sold the Burstner Elegance, now need something more suitable for a single person, who knows may be back with you all soon.

I just want to say that even though we have not met, I have been able to take strength from the many messages you have left here and also the many PM I have received.

Thank you all

Graham


----------



## Jennifer

Graham you are very brave and strong to be able to keep us updated on what you are doing. I hope that the landscape lessons and the golf lessons will prove useful to you, and act mostly as a deviation. Fiona will be watching over you, so make sure you really try hard!!!

Take care

Jenny


----------



## richardjames

Thank you for bringing us to to speed. I'm sorry that things are still diffiicult but I am sure as time passes by it may get easier. You remain in my thoughts and prayers


----------



## JockandRita

Hi Graham,

Thanks for taking the time to let us all know how things are.

They say that "time is a healer". Maybe, but how long does one have to wait, before they experience even a tiny part of that healing process?



gdleeds said:


> now need something more suitable for a single person, who knows may be back with you all soon.


Now that is something that I look forward to, and would hope that some day we'll cross each other's path on a meet, site, Aire or Stellplatz.

Kindest regards,

Jock.


----------



## catzontour

Graham you are an incredibly brave man, thanks for keeping us all up to date. No doubt the Burstner held some fantastic memories of times with Fiona, but it is great that you are looking at getting a smaller van. Enjoy the photography and the golf - make sure all your shots are good!

Catz


----------



## DTPCHEMICALS

Well done Graham.
The hardest part of a loss so dear is to get motivated and set goals.
Enjoy your breaks. we hope that you can return to the mh world and start to get about again.
The worst thing i have experienced is getting Lady p to take a few days break never mind two weeks.

Keep strong for the rest of your familly
Thanks for the update.

Dave and Margaret


----------



## dawnwynne

Graham, it's so good to hear from you. I think about you often and wonder how you are doing.

So glad to hear that you are planning a few breaks away, something to get totally immersed in. I'm also really pleased you're thinking of getting a smaller motorhome to get back in it. 

You know that there are very many people here who support you and if/when you feel able they would welcome you with open arms at a meet, site, whatever so you wouldn't be alone.


----------



## Briarose

Hi Graham I don't know how to post what I want to say.............but I admire you so much, I am really glad that you are trying to rebuild your life whilst admitting that it isn't at all easy.

I don't know if you feel Fiona around you ? but 11 weeks ago today I lost my Dad, I had read that if you ask out loud for a sign that more often than not it will be given to you, I asked my Dad out right a couple of weeks ago to let me know he was OK..........the day after we were travelling in the motorhome when the radio which we never really use came on on its own, I switched it off and it came back on..........this happened around four to five times, it hasn't happened since and it certainly never happened before that, I like to think that this was Dad saying yes he was OK.

Keep in touch Nette.


----------



## zappy61

Hi Graham,

Only those who have lost the one they love know what it brings and how to cope with the resulting grief. I take my hat off to you, it must be so hard. Words are of little compensation but I wish you the very best of luck in all that you do.

Regards,

Graham

PS Last week in the Yorkshire Dales I did meet a lady on her own who was having difficulty with a couple of things on a new small motorhome. So I gave her some assistance and it turned out that she too had lost her husband only a few months ago and was getting back into motorhoming which they used to enjoy together but in a larger motorhome. She said she was enjoying it so far and had met some lovely people and made some friends.


----------



## Jezport

Hi Graham,

We will be at the show this weekend, you are welcome to drop in for a cuppa or to put your feet up.

Regards
Jeremy


----------



## gdleeds

Time has now come to close this blog, I must say it has been a great benefit to me and my family, and I will hold this with great affection.

I`m moving my blog over to the SOLO Forum, so anyone interested in following my new life you would be more than welcome to throw in your two penneth... all comments gratefully received

Graham.... Now a Solo Motorhomer

regards

Graham


----------



## gdleeds

Hi all, just a quick update to say that today I put down the deposit for a new Motorhome.

After a lot of decision making I finally thought `which would Fiona go for`

So on the 2nd September I take delivery of

IH JI000

Expect to attend a lot of rallies, so hope to meet up with many of you

regards

Graham


----------



## locovan

Well done it is a lovely M/Home and hope to see you at some rallies.


----------



## carol

Brilliant news and strangely whilst we were at Essanjays in Poole a guy came in who had one and had nothing but praise for it so enjoy it when you get it and I hope that we will meet up one day

Carol


----------



## Briarose

Hi Graham

Wow what a lovely motorhome.................I hope we can see it one day.


----------



## Hezbez

I'm sure Fiona is agreeing with your choice.
It's a beauty.

Look forward to meeting you at a meet or rally.


----------



## JockandRita

Hi Graham,

Your new MH likes like a right wee cracker. We do hope that you have many thousands of "trouble free" miles in her, and that we would hopefully get to have a wee look inside one day. :wink: 

The very best to you in your new MH.

Cheers,

Jock & Rita.


----------



## Freddiebooks

Lush !!!!! How Much ??


----------



## catzontour

Great news Graham. From what we've seen at various shows you've made a good choice - we'll join the queue to have a look inside if we every meet up at a rally! :lol:

Catz


----------



## dawnwynne

Graham

What a lovely MH, as I mentioned to you on another post....we saw the IH's in Newark and I was blown away by how beautiful they were.

Hope to meet up with you at a rally!


----------



## gdleeds

Hi all, well not long now till I collect the new van..

I have created a web page in Fiona`s memory, friends have asked how they could help raise funds or donated direct to Wheatfields the Hospice that cared for Fiona in the last weeks of her life.

So I ask my fellow motor homers to be as generous with a small donation to the Fiona Dutton Foundation.

This site has a direct payment system to the Hospice and every penny does help those in need who are coming close to the end of their lives

Fiona Dutton Foundation

Thank You

Graham


----------



## dawnwynne

Thank you for the link Graham such a very worthwhile cause.


----------



## DTPCHEMICALS

Cracking mh and a wonderfull gesture with the trust.

Dave p


----------



## gdleeds

`Alone in a crowd` strange sentiments but that`s how life seems at this moment.
Hi All, just thought I would put down how`s things are today, now just over 3 months since we lost Fiona.
At the time of her passing, I felt I had grieved since that January day when the Surgeon broke the bad news, I had cried buckets, how unprepared was I at that time for the loss.

There have been up`s and down`s, good days, bad days and crap days.
One does not notice how much you go from being positive only to find yourself at the depths of despair days later. The Doctor offered me `happy pills` but I didn't want to go down that road, thinking Millions before me have gone through what I going through, so no pills.
I decided not to go ahead with replacing `ellie` and cancelled the purchase, I think I have done the right thing as I kept thinking about Fiona and all the good times we had together, then I would think, do I really want to travel on my own, camp and my own, so I have postpone until my head gets right, if ever.

Had plenty of support from family and friends, outings, dinner etc been away on a Landscape photography course, go to Spain shortly to a Golf clinic to try and lift my game, enrolled in a couple of classes at my local collage, so trying to occupy my time.
I was offered counselling from the Hospice, but felt it was too near, so have gone with a lady in Ilkley, she seems very good at her work and makes me feel comfortable about voicing my current world.
I mentioned this blog, and she asked that I print it off, so re-reading the events, your replies have helped put another brick in re building my life.

Things are good, at times sad but I`m learning to cope.
Again if you have someone you dearly love, tell them, and give them a hug.... unfortunately life does not always pan out we way we planned

love to you all

Graham


----------



## neilanddot

Thank you Graham for your update, Over the months we have both cried for you 2, but also taken great pleasure in the love you had for each other. It's good to hear that you are looking after yourself in the bigger picture, take care.
Neil and Dot xx


----------



## Freddiebooks

Hi Graham,

Thank you for your update. I sincerely hope that in time your life becomes better. 

Freddiebooks


----------



## gdleeds

Hi Freddiebooks

We have travelled extensively, according to my kids there are now fewer Countries to visit than those Fiona and I have visited.. with regard to the Motorhome, when you loose your right arm you notice it, when feeling low, can you imagine what it feels like to think you will be sat in a field alone!
Just my thoughts 

Graham


----------



## relay

Hi Graham,

Thanks for your update. I know how easily the positivity can turn to despair. Only you can decide how your life will be now. For me, I've bought the van and am determined to use it in Ern's memory, but that wouldn't be the right course for everyone. 

The golf and photography events sound good. Keeping busy is the only way forward, I think, but we each have to be busy in our own way. Having something to look forward to is a help, I find, even though the thoughts of "but this isn't what I want to be doing" creep in.

Thinking of you,

-H


----------



## Invicta

Five years down the line I still feel 'alone' at times even though I have family around me. I can never imagine feeling anything different.

I find it very particularly noticable when in the company of family and friends who still have their other half. The only solace is when I am with people in the same situation as me who have lost their partner.

I can quite understand how Graham presently feels about going solo in a motorcaravan despite knowing that there are supportive people around in such groups as this.

All I can say to him is that it does get more bearable as time goes by. Try to remember the good times you had together, bring out the old photographs, shed tears as you recall the happiness you enjoyed, look at the children that are part of the two of you, but above all hope that one day you will be re-united.

Peggy


----------



## rowley

Thank you for the update Graham. May you find a renewed joy in this time of sadness. Best wishes, Rowley.


----------



## lindyloot

Hi Graham, thankyou for sharing your thoughts. I don't know if this will help ease the loneliness but have you thought about having a dog. They can be be very good companions and you have something to get out of bed for each day. They are lots of rescue dogs needing a loving home.
Regards Lin


----------



## gdleeds

I`m now into Anniversary time, sat this morning and re-read the blog, with many tears, of the fateful journey Fiona and I endured together.

I have tried to keep busy, just returned last week from a 3 weeks cruise, but its still very easy to be alone in a crowd.... I still feel empty, unfortunately Christmas is not a good time for me, have received lots of cards but I just cannot get up any enthusiasm for the event.

I think of Fiona a lot, not as much now of her the last few months, but the good times, so I often find myself smiling at some memory or other. There is still a sadness, I manage to put on a brave face with the family but alone with my thoughts I still weep at the loss of such a lovely woman.

It is said that time is a healer, I `m sure that is right but I`m content with my lot and know I am not afraid of my own death as I know Fiona is waiting for me.

I see a therapist who is helping me come to terms with Fiona`s death, I know I`m a lot stronger that I was, so I take each day as it comes.
I`v decided to get myself a puppy, always had dogs so would be nice company. Lost 2 1/2 stone so getting back down to a more normal weight. 
Fiona`s headstone is still awaiting to be erected but should be up soon, still dealing with issues, but no problem

regards to all who read

Graham


----------



## geraldandannie

Hi Graham

Lovely to hear from you again. I'm sure Fiona would want you to be trying to get on with life in her absence. It sounds like you're doing really well. Hopefully, you'll be able to enjoy the memories without suffering the pangs of loss.

Thinking of you.

Gerald


----------



## JockandRita

Morning Graham,

Gerald has said it all.

We do wish you well, and we hope that time for you, does prove to be a healer.

Take care,

Jock & Rita.


----------



## locovan

Graham I cant believe its a year it has gone so quickly but I bet you remember it all as if it was yesterday.
Im so pleased you have found time to begin to come back to the world and a puppy is just the right thing as you will have company and someone to talk to (even if it is "get down--get off") :lol: :lol: 
Keep up the good work and come on a rally so we can meet you-and the puppy. :wink:


----------



## asprn

It is the "firsts" which are so painful - there seem to be so many of them during the first year.  Christmas always seems to highlight loss when so many people are having (or trying to have :roll: ) a happy time with family.

The fact that you've availed yourself of help from someone who is qualified to listen, is excellent. Therein lies the onward road.

Let me wish you a peaceful Christmas with friends around you, and may 2011 take you to new places on your journey. Good luck.

Dougie.


----------



## Briarose

Hi Graham

I often think of you, and wonder how you are getting on. In fact I mentioned you in a post on here only a few days ago.

The journey that you went through this time last year, I believe many of us started with you and went through every step..........we hoped and prayed that the story would have a happy ending, as we awaited your updates on the forum.

Sadly this was not to be, however I know it is of no consolation BUT you both taught me to take time out from work, as time is something that you cannot bring back. With that in mind we spent more time in our motorhome last summer than ever. And when worrying about the trivial things in life I often thought of you and suddenly the minor worries were nothing at all.

God bless you and keep us updated with the puppy, what sort are you thinking of getting. ?

Nette


----------



## zulurita

Graham it's lovely to hear from you again. So glad you are getting some help. It all takes time for the pain to go away, at least you are remembering the good times.

A puppy sounds a good idea, that will keep you busy :wink: We had one about 6 weeks ago, she is a Springer Spaniel and 15 weeks old........time consuming :wink: She had her 2nd rabies vaccination today in readiness for her travels next year.

So do you have a particular breed in mind? They are great company. Look forward to hearing about your aquisition if you do go ahead.

Take care and have a peaceful Christmas with 2011 hopefully being a better year for you.


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## midlifecrisismil

Graham

So good to hear from you - I was only thinking about you and Fiona yesterday and thinking that it would be your first Christmas without her.

I am sure that your family will be a crutch to lean on at this time of year and remember you continue to be in all our thoughts.

As for the dog well that is probably a very good idea - something to occupy your mind and time - have wonderful times together.

Happy Christmas

Milly


----------



## carolgavin

Hi Graham how nice of you to post again, we were all with you on your journey with Fiona and as a group were hoping and praying with you. Sadly the outcome was not what any of us would have wanted. 
It is lovely to hear how you are getting on with life and all it brings and I think your idea of a puppy is a great one. Of course us nosy lot will be desperate to hear what breed you get, what you call him or her and will be pleading for piccies. 
Please let us know all about your new wee friend.

warm regards

Carol


----------



## CaGreg

Hi Graham,

As others have said, it's good to hear from you. Well done on getting this far, it can seem impossible in the early days that you will survive and keep going, but there is no choice, lying down and dying isn't really an option.

The lead up to Christmas can be harder than the day itself and it will come and go and you will have survived another 'biggie'.

Best wishes,
Ca and Greg.


----------



## DTPCHEMICALS

Hi Graham, we were just thinking about you the other day as we have not seen your name for a bit.
This will be the seventh christmas without our son.
We are much better than we were a couple of years ago.
It is true that the firsts are always the hardest.
Memories, photographs remain with you always.

We really hope that you get a dog and that it will give you something to focus on. Walks, holidays, vets bills and the like.
Christmas is really another day made for shokeepers and children.
Look forward to hearing from you when you have a pooch, or indeed anytime.


Dave and Margaret


----------



## Invicta

Just reiterating everything that others here have said.

Indeed Christmas is a particularly poignant time for those of us who have lost someone near and dear to us. At least Graham and I have family. I cannot imagine how those without family and friends cope.

Only two days ago I received a Christmas card from someone who had written 'Martin & Peggy' It would have been a slip of the pen but I myself nearly wrote from 'Peggy & Martin' in a card I was sending despite this being the sixth Christmas without him.

Graham you know you can never replace Fiona. Having a four legged friend with which you can share your life and some of your affection will be some consolation. I am sure Fiona would agree with your decision.

Peggy (Invicta)


----------



## Suenliam

Hi Graham - thank you for the update. It's good to know you are beginning to see a future for yourself and your precious memories. I too think it's such a good idea to get a puppy. It will get you out when you don't really want to go and make you laugh when you don't really feel like it  It will also give you unconditional love and affection which we all need.

Carol's right when she says we will demand pictures though :wink: 

All the best for 2011

Sue


----------



## HurricaneSmith

Hello again Graham,

Thank you for your kind update; We wondered how you were too.

A dog is a brilliant idea and so rewarding; When a little pooch chooses you, please send an update.

Best wishes for the future,

John & Yvonne


----------



## SilverF1

Graham, very pleased for you that progress is being made.


----------



## MrsW

Graham this is the first time I have been on here in many, many months and you remain in my thoughts and prayers as Christmas approaches. I am working all though Christmas and will take time to think of you as I work. Remember there are organiations out there who will also be working that day, so you can always ring someone if you feel the need for some extra support. Good luck with the puppy and the year ahead. I hope and pray things will gradually get easier for you but it is no walk in the park! God bless you Graham.


----------



## richardjames

Thanks for the update Graham. I understand how hard, no impossible, to come to terms with things like anniversaries but time will be kind to you and ease the pain. I hope that you and your family have the best possible time at this family time and hope that the new year brings all the best


----------



## gdleeds

Hi all I know its late in coming but thanks for the kind words...

So the new dog, we have always had Dobermans, soft and daft so that was the idea until I passed the Dogs trust and decided to call in, saw some pups and was immediately drawn to Buster, with one eye facing east and the other west with wrinkles on his forehead, I was smitten.
So I am the proud adopted dad to Buster a total `Heinz 57` there must be a bit of Staffy, whippet, labrador, lurcher.... they all show there characteristics, so he`s now 16 weeks a happy disposition, enjoys been trained and it great fun and company to me.


The headstone finally went up this week, our local Church allows only Yorkshire stone, wins some comps for car and presentation which is nice, anyway I could not resist having a thin inlaid band around the stone in Fuschia Pink, Fiona's favourite colour.. looks nice.

Went down to NEC this week, now I`m thinking `Buster`he can be very zappy at times so need Garage with access from inside so can make use of his cage, feels more like a cave but he loves it.

Things with me are still hard at times, the missing... but now looking forward with the memory that I was fortunate to be loved by such a nice person as Fiona for 38 years of my life. Getting a few jobs done around the house, new railings and gate on front and a new gardener to help me with Fiona's pride and joy that I neglected. 

Hope you are all keeping well

Graham


----------



## Invicta

He is gorgeous Graham, I am sure Fiona approves.

We have always had pedigree dogs, (4 labradors and 1cocker spaniel) but I feel now IF ever I had another dog when Coco eventually leaves us(he is 14 next month) the Dogs' Trust is where I would go. So many wanting loving homes as you are now providing for Buster. He is one very fortunate doggy!

X to Buster from the old man (Coco)


----------



## richardjames

Graham
Thanks for the update - I like the new pooch, Buster, I hope he bring you much joy

Regards


----------



## carol

Thanks for the update, and I hope your Buster will keep you company and fit at the same time. 

I have four femaile friends who have lost their long time husbands/partners, - two were three years ago and both are still finding it difficult the other two are much newer, a year in March for them both, and I see them both slowly getting out the other end to slowly start to move forward with their lives.


You can't seem to hurry this at all, some seem able to adjust more easily and others just never do. You sound at least as if you are getting there too.

Much love

Carol


----------



## bigbazza

Our thoughts are with you to Graham.


----------



## Ian_n_Suzy

Hi Graham,

Good to see that you went ahead and got the Puppy. He looks more like Scrappy Doo than Scrappy Doo does.

Good to hear from you.

Regards
Ian

Scrappy Doo









Buster


----------



## lindyloot

Hi Graham lovely to hear from you, Rich and I missed your Dec update but we were only thinking of you the other day and wondering how things are with you. If you remember Rich's son Clay was poorly at the same time as Fiona, thank fully he came through open cranial surgery in the summer and has just completed his six courses of chemo. Buster looks a cheeky boy, you'll have many hours of good times with him. He will be a good companion and give you a reason for getting out and about. Give him a biscuit from Merlin and Muffie. Hope we shall see you at a rally sometime. 
Best wishes Rich and Lin


----------



## carolgavin

Hiya Graham delighted to see you posting and look you also remembered how much we love pictures. Your wee puppy is absolutely gorgeous. Am glad you are getting on ok bet some days are harder than others. 
Did you see anything you fancied at the NEC?


----------



## locovan

Nice to see you coping with everything Graham and the dog is lovely.
Have fun together on long walks :wink:


----------



## catzontour

Hi Graham, it was good of you to post an update, like many on here I've been wondering how you were getting on. Let us all know how long it takes Buster to chew through all your belongings!


----------



## mandyandandy

Hi, 

You don't know me but just had to write as yesterday morning I woke very early and laid thinking in bed as you do and for some reason you came into my head and I wondered how you were coping and if you had been getting away much. 

Strange how that happens so often.   , lovely to hear that you are moving on slowly but with so many happy memories I am sure you and Buster will be covering many more miles this year. 

Take care and have fun.

Mandy


----------



## sallytrafic

Yes you are often remembered on here Graham not least when I read my own signature. 

Glad to hear you are doing so well.


----------



## JockandRita

Hello Graham,

Thanks for coming back on to update us all. We all appreciate that it can't be easy for you.

That's a smashing wee Heinz 57 you've got there in the shape of Buster, and I bet he's a strong wee bu##er too. 

Knowing that you'll have a bit of loyal company for travelling, finding that ideal MH may come a bit sooner for you, and a pet dog is a great ice breaker, as most of us are dog lovers.

Good luck with the dog training, and any future plans you make for "on the road". :thumbleft: 

All the best Graham,

Jock & Rita.


----------



## zulurita

Thank you Graham for the update. What a lovely chap  

Buster has found a new home and master and will reward you with his love and be great company. What adventures you will both have once you have your motorhome.

I'm sure Fiona will be smiling down on you both.


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## Rapide561

*Buster*

Morning Graham

Buster looks like he will make a good companion. My dad recently, well a few years ago, go another Heinz 57 and whilst he likes many dogs, he only ever has a cross breed as he swears they are truly individual and as such have uniqu characters. "Maggie" was rescued/adopted from somewhere"

I am sure you will be get along great, knowing that Fiona is watching from above.

If ever you need any green fingers, and I am in the Leeds area, let me know!

Russell


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## MaxandPaddy

Hiya Graham,

Buster is very cute,we will keep an eye open for you both on our travels!
Our Lab is coming up to 16 now and he loves the Motorhome so I am sure Buster will become a well travelled chap.
PM us if you are around Drig,long time no see.

Val and Martin x


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## DTPCHEMICALS

Well done Graham, getting out and about with Buster will help keep you fit.

Lady p walks five pooches twice a day.

She says they go further than I do. :lol: 


Dave p


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## Suenliam

Many thanks Graham for the Buster pictures. He looks a real character. Just the right MH to find now and you can be out and about with the best of them  

Sue


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## dawnwynne

Great to hear from you Graham, Buster looks like quite the fellow! Bet you will have some good times together. 

So does this mean you are looking for a new mh to take Buster on some adventures?

All the best


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## gdleeds

*Ist Anniversary*

Hi All, got a reminder re subs, so thought I would just drop a line or two to let those interested know where I`m at, at present.

The first anniversary is close, it feels like reaching a milestone where things from then on should seem better. Believe I`v now comes to terms with the loss of Fiona, not that I will ever forget, the friend the lover the mother... it`s now I know we shared 38 wonderful years together and they will be with me forever, and thats a treasure.

Busters now 6 months old and the poor sod had the snip this week, but you would not believe it by the way he plays.

Still considering which van to get, now having Buster has put another dimension into things, would like a garage where his gage could be secured and giving access direct into van.... any ideas anyone, the big boys do the job but dont feel I need another 28 footer

See a lot of my 2 boys and grandkids, out to late lunch now with them all, so best wishes

Graham


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## locovan

Good to hear from you Graham and that life is a little easier and you can smile at the memories you made with Fiona.
Hurry up and get the Motorhome and start coming to Rallies where I know you will get a warm welcome and You can sit and have a drink amongst friends. :wink:


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## catzontour

It's good to get an update from you Graham and to hear that you are cherishing all the memories whilst starting to come to terms with Fiona's loss. I have sometimes wondered, no doubt like many others on here, how you've been getting on. 

I agree with Mavis - hurry up and choose a van and get on the road again. Whether or not you'll need a 28 footer will depend on how big Buster is going to grow!!

Catz


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## suedew

catzontour said:


> It's good to get an update from you Graham and to hear that you are cherishing all the memories whilst starting to come to terms with Fiona's loss. I have sometimes wondered, no doubt like many others on here, how you've been getting on.
> 
> I agree with Mavis - hurry up and choose a van and get on the road again. Whether or not you'll need a 28 footer will depend on how big Buster is going to grow!!
> 
> Catz


Can't put it any better than these two Graham.

Sue


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## StephandJohn

Good to hear from you Graham.
Your family sound like a wonderful comfort. 
So glad your keeping in touch with us and we look forward to hearing your news.


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## DTPCHEMICALS

Thanks for keeping in touch, Dont subs come round quick.

Dave p


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## MrsW

Glad to see that life is getting easier to cope with now. we will never forget Fiona so itt must be a lot harder for you but it sounds as if things are moving in the right direction. Hurry up and get a new MH and get out and meet up with all those friends and cyber friends who are still thinking of you and rememberinf Fiona. Amazing that it is already almost a year since she left us.


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## lindyloot

Thankyou for the update , how time flies. I think there are is a Chausson which may have a garage and is under 28ft. We reiterate what others have said, you can then join us on meets and rallies. 
regards Rich and Lin


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## JockandRita

Hi Graham,

It is nice to hear from you again, and also to hear that life continues for you, with Buster by your side. 

Got any piccies of him please? :thumbleft: 

Good luck with the search for the right MH.

Kindest regards,

Jock & Rita.


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## UncleNorm

Hello again Graham. Thanks for the update on your progress. I often think of you and Fiona and still feel the sadness that fell upon us all last year. 

It was 24th May, a Monday. The day started well, with our daughter-in-law enjoying her 40th birthday mid-Atlantic on the Queen Mary 2.

Then we got news that AuntieSandra's Mum had had a stroke, from which she died on the Thursday, 27th.

On the same day, we travelled from Newbury to home to receive the news that my cancer was confirmed.

And then we read that Fiona had finally left us to join the angels.  I still commiserate with you.

I really do hope you can find the strength that Fiona would want you to have to get through the anniversary. I will just wish you and yours many happy memories.


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