# Porky goes to market



## Pusser (May 9, 2005)

or.. "Ve av wayz ov making you pork".

Just got back from France after a disasterous boliday where my stomach problems ensured I was in or on my bed virturally most of the 4 days we were there. Plus wifey had a 3 day epic migraine so we could not come home earlier and son in law whom we met went down with a 3 day swine flu type bug. High tempreature and major issues at both ends. The youngest grandchild ran around to us to tell us that "Daddy had exploded".

Laying on my bed watching Bloomberg and\or News24 (and Wuthering Heights whe wifey stole the remote) I gave deep thought into the motorhome experience and decided that I am not really a mothorhome type person. I don't like doing irritating chores, and I can't be tidy when I need to be, and I drop things, forget things and I seem to get grumpy old man rage at the slightest hint of work to be done.

So Porky, who behaved faultlessly will be up for sale shortly once I have worked out how much to ask for and how much to add on for the host of extras it has.

Anyone who knows how to arrive at a fair price for eithet trade or private I would be extremely grateful for some help. 

Some mnor observations I noticed this time in France. On our way down I spied a sign to Fleche. This tip to go there with pix was emailed to me by Jed(Ged) Jean in 2006 and that year I could not find it and got horribly lost. So thank you Jed-Jean it was well worth the visit and the campsite just by the view was ace. Plenty of space and a stones throw to the river. Sadly, my tummy was such that I only could see over the hedge and from the van on our way to St. Jean de full Monty. I forgot you avatar so hopefully you will make yourself known on this post to get a proper thankyou from the button provided.

I had been looking forward to seeing the Isle of Noirmouteur or something. Suffice to say it is the same as driving through a horizontal salt celler. Everywhere there are places to buy Sel (foreign for Salt). One shack selling sea salt was an invader from Switzerland and proudly flew his flag over the mound of white crystals. It seemed such a popular island with tourists I wondered if Sel actually meant crack cocaine.

For me I could see nothing attractive about it and turned around and went to our pre booked campsite where my daughter and brood had already spent a week in glorious sunshine. I won't mention the site because it was crap although it may have been the perfect venue to nurse my tummy issues.

The Hawkings wifi booster worked a treat. From a position where my fob wifi finder could find nothing other than a red light, the Hawkings found two blue lights worth of connections and I connected to the internet and surfed, mainly for tummy cures. A product that actually does what it says it does. (I know... unusual).

This trip albeit brief I was able to see some differences in the French attitude to motorhomes. I think so may motorhomes have taken advantage of the French layed back approach that height barriers now abound and signs going into some towns warn of restrictions for motohomes. Gone are the days you could park on the Mayors lawn.

BP Ultimate. I have proved to my own satisfaction that BP Ultimate gives me 30mpg for Porky whereas Super U diesel gives me 28.5 mpg. Not a scientific approach but I feel a fair comment. And what I do know for absolute is that less welly is required to achieve a cruising speed and less welly to accelerate when needed. In my view, BP Ultimate actually works out cheaper than poor peoples fuel. And don't forget that BP is one of the companies that are more than significant for our future financial propects in the world so it does no harm to support them.

I use it in my car but I have not yet put in poor peoples fuel so no idea if the same thing happens.

Final indignity was arriving at the tunnel without a pre booked ticket and so it cost me 258 euros to get back home. I am writing to them to say that I will be using ships for next couple of years visits which should mean they will lose around £2000 for their consideration of a regular customer.

So the end of an era in my life. A costly era to say the least but loads of happy memories and embarrassing moments to talk over dinners. The call of the hotel, mobile home and\or villa with pool are calling me. Just a spring clean of Porky to do and paperwork and that is me done.


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## DABurleigh (May 9, 2005)

NNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOooooooooooooooo................!!!!!!!

Tell me this isn't true.

It's April the 1st, surely.

What are we all gonna do now? How can we change your mind? You're fickle when you're Daphne, so change it forthwith!

Dave


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## Pusser (May 9, 2005)

DABurleigh said:


> NNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOooooooooooooooo................!!!!!!!
> 
> Tell me this isn't true.
> 
> ...


The die is cast. The turtle has turned. The sun has slipped over the horizon. Good news is that we will not go on to be tuggers.  Bad news my doc is on holiday so I may have to go and see a tarot card reader.


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## 94055 (May 1, 2005)

Pusser said:


> Just a spring clean of Porky to do and paperwork and that is me done.


Surely this cannot be true!
Are you going to come back with something like.........Gotcha!
It cannot mean the end of your posts surely?
I await the retraction for the ????????? reason.


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## Pusser (May 9, 2005)

SandJ said:


> Pusser said:
> 
> 
> > Just a spring clean of Porky to do and paperwork and that is me done.
> ...


I haven't thought that far ahead. Only thing happening is that Porky is going hopefully to a lovely couple who will use Porky as he was born to be used and promise me that they will only feed him BP Ultimate.


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## SpeedyDux (Jul 13, 2007)

Hi Pusser,

So you think you can go "cold turkey"? Just wait until the withdrawal symptoms kick in next Spring ... 

Sorry to hear about your ruined holiday and hope the stomach problem can be fixed by your Doc.

BTW you are right about BP Ultimate. I got a tankful in Luxemburg in July, and the van went like a rocket for 400 miles until the next fill with cheapo supermarket diesel. The difference in performance is astonishing 8O . I didn't check if the fuel consumption was better though. 

(The same happens with the car (petrol) if I fill up with 98 RON Super Unleaded in Europe - lots of extra horses and torques appear by magic. UK Super Unleaded is a con and not worth paying extra :evil: .)


SD


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## Motorhomersimpson (May 9, 2005)

Pusser said:


> I haven't thought that far ahead. Only thing happening is that Porky is going hopefully to a lovely couple who will use Porky as he was born to be used and promise me that they will only feed him BP Ultimate.


Hi pusser,

I hope the sale goes well, I know you well enough to know that the van has seen a lot of attention and care, all the niggles are now sorted (why do we that, same as houses, we get them just right and sell them :? )

Anyway, whoever buys your motorhome will get one that's all sorted and very well equipped, also they will have honor of owning a motorhome that belonged to a legend here on MHF 

Take a look around at what similar vans are selling for to get an idea for price :wink:

Even though your retiring from motoromes doesn't mean you should no longer visit us here on MHF :wink:

MHS...Rob


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## dinger (Jul 30, 2007)

*Pusser selling porky*

Pusser,

Sometimes in life you don't appreciate the true effect you have on those
around you and i can only say i personally will truly miss your literary ramblings.

BUT..........

Pusser , even if you are vanless or a vanless man will you please keep posting on this forum.

Anyway thats enough of the slushy nonsense , how much do you want for the van then...  ...

Dinger


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## Pusser (May 9, 2005)

Leaving this motorhoming family would be far more difficult than parting with a motorhome although Porky has been my absolute favourite and really none of the problems I had with him were his fault. All issues were caused by dealers except the puncture. So I do hope to stay as it is more than a motorhome site. It is a wikipedia of life, love and adventure.  (I use love loosely Drums)


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## locovan (Oct 17, 2007)

You must never leave us on MHF --it isnt the M/H its the people in them that counts and your sense of humour is needed on here.
So just carry on talking to us on here please


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## Grandma (Jan 25, 2006)

All this running about and driving abroad along with all the hassles I gave up long ago. I now tour the UK. Some lovely campsites, villages and town, history to explore. I lived abroad for 7 years and toured plenty of foreign countries from there including the Far Eastand when I came back (albeit to the Isle of Man ) I decided to explore more the country of my birth. (UK) Do not regret it. Been to some lovely places albeit in the rain at times. Two years ago, standing on a hilltop overlooking Keilder water there was not another soul in sight, no houses to blot the view. Just an evening stillness, sun setting and very peaceful. I am not a youngster anymore so this now suits me fine.
Why is it when I meet new people they always ask if I go to Europe in the van for my hols. Can't be doing with the hassle says I. 
Looking forward to touring Scotland next year in August.
Do not sell the Van, enjoy what is on your own doorstep.


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## Pusser (May 9, 2005)

Grandma said:


> All this running about and driving abroad along with all the hassles I gave up long ago. I now tour the UK. Some lovely campsites, villages and town, history to explore. I lived abroad for 7 years and toured plenty of foreign countries from there including the Far Eastand when I came back (albeit to the Isle of Man ) I decided to explore more the country of my birth. (UK) Do not regret it. Been to some lovely places albeit in the rain at times. Two years ago, standing on a hilltop overlooking Keilder water there was not another soul in sight, no houses to blot the view. Just an evening stillness, sun setting and very peaceful. I am not a youngster anymore so this now suits me fine.
> Why is it when I meet new people they always ask if I go to Europe in the van for my hols. Can't be doing with the hassle says I.
> Looking forward to touring Scotland next year in August.
> Do not sell the Van, enjoy what is on your own doorstep.


That is so true Gran and that is something I wanted to do but wifey just likes hot so Snowdonia is sort of unlikely. But I will do it but probably in car and maybe even stay in Pipps hotel nearbye. Only Cornwall have we done in earnest... sorry, Porky. And.... I can say prices have rocketed in France. Wifey paid out £40 for coffee and soft drinks for 7 of us. Used to be £39 quid.


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## Pusser (May 9, 2005)

Just be listing extras I have had done.  Hope wifey doesn't notice.

Cruise Control
Wow Power
Gutter fix Mod
Twin fogs
Twin Spots
New engine battery
2 x Red alarm leds bumper
Spare set bendy wipers
2 x Leisure 75 amp battery 
Battery Master
Extended Handbrake
New Pioneer radio\CD\remote
New quality front speakers
WACO twin rear camera\remote
original tyres gunk filled 
new tyre gunk filled
USB lead from radio for MP3\Tomtom etc.
Satnav round stuck on plate
Spare set seat covers
Level bubble thing
1big 1 small tanks Gaslow new design
bike rack for 3 bikes + extra bungies
2 x Red alarm leds rear bumper
Alarm mobile wire for bike rack
Strike Back Alarm with 2 fobs
4 x Sliding reading lights changed to LED
Added additional ceiling light LED
Original ceiling light changed to Led
Headlamps change to blue white
Headlamp protectors with removable black patches
External bespoke windscreen covers (Internal fitted)
Mahogany wood stuck to dashboard and doors.
Roof a\c aircon 2500 thingys and heater
Camos stationary dome 
Sat finder box.
Spare sat tuner box
Fitted Sky box with remote
19 inch new TV and Dvd Player
Converted table to pillar and hole in floor
Converted bed filler to small bedside table
Bar thing on hab door with lock
electric step self retracting on ignition
Air suspension on rear.


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## Penquin (Oct 15, 2007)

Whoever is fortunate enough to adopt Porky will be placed for a very long duration.

I can understand your reasons but I am sure that your wicked comments and so on will be greatly missed - they have always displayed a real slice of MH life that has had us all amused.

It will be interesting to see how things progress, like many others I hope that you will continue on here - not every member actually has a MH at a given time - but all of their viewpoints and comments are equally important (provided they are not defamatory, obscene, racist etc......)

Best wishes,

Dave


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## Rapide561 (Oct 1, 2005)

*Porky*

Pusser - you can't quit - you just can't! Simples.


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## DTPCHEMICALS (Jul 24, 2006)

Another one bites the dust.

We gave up being tuggers. Only a year later to purchase another.

Withdrawal symptoms too strong.
Now in 3rd year of mh not using it as mi=uch as anticipated. Not had holiday i it this year.

But wo`t sell.

Think long and hard.
Aeroplanes full of people spreading germs.
Hotels full of tummy bugs, noisy drunks
Kids running amock


Plenty to tell us about.

Dave p


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## rowley (May 14, 2005)

Puss, I just can't believe it. And you have been our source of great wisdom on port-a-potties too.


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## gnscloz (Oct 4, 2008)

behave yourself porky,

mhf without porky be like bacon without eggs


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## carolgavin (May 9, 2005)

Awwwwwwwwwww pusser, thats a wee shame you giving up on motorhoming sweetie. 
Hope ones bowels get better, its not pleasant when they misbehave. I have some experience of this and is what prompted us to get motorhome.


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## Superk (Aug 22, 2005)

It's the medication - you're delusional - it'll pass  

 
Keith


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## RichardnGill (Aug 31, 2006)

You carnt do it!

What about if you need to use the loo on a plane....  


Richard...


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## Rainbow-Chasers (Sep 2, 2008)

you can't give up pusser! You are part of the furniture, a quality critic and a true person who says it how it is!

You will only regret it later.....if you are really that down about the whole thing, just have a rest for a few weeks, don't think about it and see how you feel then!

You will just remember 2009 as being a bad year - everyone has a bad one occasionally and often followed by better ones.

Be defiant as you always are - laugh immodium in the face - your not a quitter, you're a fighter! All will be well soon, you'll see!


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## bigbazza (Mar 6, 2008)

Give it to Daphne and teach her your wisdom 8O and tact :? and diplomacy :roll: and everything else  

Seriously, keep up the communication.


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## Pusser (May 9, 2005)

Many thanks indeed for such kind comments and bowel banter.  
I don't have any problems going or not going. 8) I only have problems walking about without causing major discomfort. Luckily I do not have what I would call major pain. Probably more like childbirth pain. A pain that is tiresome but easily managed. 8) 

And to be fair this is not really what my\our decision is being based on. There are many things I love about Porky. Just pottering about inside him I enjoy. I like buying him things but don't like reading the manuals. I like using the cassette loo but don't like emptying it. I don't like trying to find electric hookup points which appear to have been deliberately hidded in bushes or the other side of town and you need two miles of cable to enjoy the benefit and layed across numerouse pitches with cars running over it on an hourly basis.

I don't like leaving Porky on his own in places I do not know, whereas I don't give a monkeys where I leave the car. I don't like arriving in a campsite and everyone watches you hoping you are going to knock the Camos off the roof with one sweep of a strong branch or reverse into the shower block.

I don't like night times that are so quiet if you blow off, there are a hundred campers giggling at you in the morning and squirting Fabreeze into the air.  

I don't really like eating in the open or in Porky. I much prefer a resturant and that is what we usually use but not of course for breakfast.

Everyone that come into the van loves it, wants one and the moment Porky goes I will be looking at dealer sites for something to tickle my fancy, not that there is a lot of fancy left to tickle nowadays.  But this time I will be strong. I want to become a motorist again, able to curse the slow moving caravans (...wash my mouth out with soap and water) and motorhomes. I want to get into any car park, drive without hearing an engine and stop feeling guilty when someone waves at me and I don't wave back and suffer wave rage when I wave and get no response.

Once again I tried to work out the pros and cons of waving as motorhome after motorhome passed us on the Island Nourmoutier or something although it should have be called the Salt Lake ****ty. Why so many were going there I do not know and everyone got sick and tired of waving.

First of all one waves.... "Yoohoo. I've got a motorhome."

The other waves back ... "Hi... so have I" Funny ritual.

The final leg of our motorhome journeys. Brief to say the least....

We left home with my tummy in discomfort and driving a van I felt would not enhance it anymore than the 3 hour traffic jam waiting to cross the Dartford Bridge.

Of course we arrived at Eurotunnel late but they said they knew about the M25 and we were stuck on a train straight away and off we jolly well went with me laying down in the back to get a break and loaded with Ibrofuren or whatever.

From Calais and using the new Garmin we drove for three hours and Garmin took us through a selection of pretty roads surrounded by fields of cut corn and then I realised that one of the default avoidances was motorways. But I was getting tired and needed to rest my tummy so I pressed for a campsite nearbye and it took us to a seaside site which was of such depression that we turned around and went back to one we saw on the way up. A very nice site a stones throw away from a municiple castle built in memory of Bleriot. I asked the Missus if she could guess which airport Bleriot landed at. She said Lydd. (Day was made).

In the morning I switched on laptop with Hawkings attached and logged into a wifi station and had a look at autoroute. I noticed straightaway that our 3 hour drive had taken us 29 miles from the Eurotunnel. Even now I don't know how I managed it. I was gutted.

We departed and wifey insisted she would navigate as she blamed Garmin and half an hour later we did a u turn as she took us in the wrong direction from the very beginning of the journey. (Day was made already and still not lunch time).

We stopped at L'arche our favourite aires and we had souffle (soof flay) which was so nice I thought if this company opened up on the M1, people from all over the country would drive there for a decent night out and dinner. The aires was built on a sort of nature reserve and huge carp torpedoed through the water after flies and ducks flotilla'd in formation up and down the banks of this natural marsh area. Lovely place to stop and I have no idea where it was. I will try and find receipts for sites and this aires and stick their whereabouts in here.

Rest of journey I have already mentioned previously so hardly a riveting ending to my motorhome journeys.


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## Motorhomersimpson (May 9, 2005)

pusser said:


> I don't like night times that are so quiet if you blow off, there are a hundred campers giggling at you in the morning and squirting Fabreeze into the air.


Thanks pusser, I like to start the day with a good laugh :lol: :lol:

MHS...Rob


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## wakk44 (Jun 15, 2006)

:lol: :lol: :lol: 

Please don't leave us Pusser even if you do eventually sell Porky,your style of writing,natural wit,and wicked sense of humour will be sorely missed on mhf.

I would like you to compensate me for a new keyboard that I have just spilt a cup of coffee over when lol whilst reading your post above.

Perhaps some professional therapy might help to get you through this difficult time,I hope you have only taken temporary leave of your senses and will reconsider this decision,then you can continue keeping us entertained on here with your life observations. :wink:


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## annetony (May 1, 2005)

quote "I don't like night times that are so quiet if you blow off, there are a hundred campers giggling at you in the morning and squirting Fabreeze into the air. Sad"" 

you can park next to us, you and Tony can do a duet  :lol: :lol: 



I do hope you change your mind Pusser, MHF wont be the same without you, 

why not have a week somewhere hot in a hotel, then use Porky the rest of the year Sorted!!! 

If I win the lottery this week we will give Porky a good home 8) 

Whatever you decide Tony and I wish you all the best 

Anne


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## rraf (Jul 11, 2009)

Motorhomersimpson said:


> pusser said:
> 
> 
> > I don't like night times that are so quiet if you blow off, there are a hundred campers giggling at you in the morning and squirting Fabreeze into the air.
> ...


Oh me too!If you _have_ to give up Porky, Pusser,would you consider writing your memoirs>I for one would love to read more of the same.You've got a wonderful gift in expressive writing 

Lynne


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## erneboy (Feb 8, 2007)

Pusser, you will be missed. You could always invent a new fictional van and associated adventures just to keep us company, Alan.


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## Pusser (May 9, 2005)

erneboy said:


> Pusser, you will be missed. You could always invent a new fictional van and associated adventures just to keep us company, Alan.


Brill idea ... I may just do that as it would be a fun thing to do and keep me off the streets. I think I will have a huge Yank tank. 8O


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## erneboy (Feb 8, 2007)

That is a good start, Alan.


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## bigfoot (May 16, 2005)

Please stay, I think this has been brought on by delerium while you had your condition.
When the world falls out of your bottom why should the botttom fall out of your world?
Get well soon.


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## Moledrain (Sep 20, 2006)

I rather think that Pusser's malaise has come about since he dabbled with his sinister side? 
Are we not told to avoid and shun such nefarious practices as being 'unhealthy'.

A spell as Daphne, who was determined to remain a virgin (source - Erotica Pathemata, the must read book in second century Greece), has given the salutary lesson to us all that our Daphne has fallen from grace and is now suffering the consequences. To a mere male, odd pains 'down there' would not be recognised for what they are.

Now hopefully restored to his rightful manly state, Pusser must rise up and sally forth and get the vestiges of his demons behind him.

I believe that the present disenchantment with motorhoming is a symptom of the aforementioned fall from grace? 
Loose talk possibly alluding to 'package holidays' firms up my diagnosis. A timely visit to an understanding healthcare professional, with regular checks thereafter, should sort this toot sweet!

This post is just my gut reaction to Pusser's problem and to close, if Pusser feels the pull of the dark side occasionally, may I suggest he take up extreme ironing?

Moley


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## Pusser (May 9, 2005)

Moledrain said:


> This post is just my gut reaction to Pusser's problem and to close, if Pusser feels the pull of the dark side occasionally, may I suggest he take up extreme ironing?
> 
> Moley


 It appears you feel I have an alter ego. Well, we haven't. I ironed a T shirt the other day and that was extreme enough for us, I can tell you.

Daphne is now behind me because that is where she feels safer.

Sadly Porky must go to a good home and I am just waiting for inspiration to work out how much to put him up for.

See the consultant tomorrow so depending on what he says will mean I either have to apply for a brochure from Dignitas or plan a nice short break in the car to make up for our lost holiday.

Brilliant bit of psychoanalysis so I will pm you next time I have a panic attack.


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## peejay (May 10, 2005)

Can't understand it, the man doesn't like Noirmoutier and he's gone off motorhomes.
Thinking of returning to package holidays? What about all those delayed flights, crappy hotels and you'll soon come back to your senses. Also, just think of all the confusion and havoc you'll cause on the aircraft when it's time for you to go to the loo...

Is that aire you mention with the carp lake Baie de Somme on the A16 perchance? A very fine aire and no mistake.

A Pusserless MHF would be unthinkable, you ain't going nowhere  

Pete


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## DABurleigh (May 9, 2005)

"It appears you feel I have an alter ego. Well, we haven't."
Brilliant! 

But I think bigfoot has summarised well a long thread with his "Get well soon." 

Dave


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## Rapide561 (Oct 1, 2005)

*No van*

Hi

Being the number juggler that I am, here are my thoughts.

Let's say Pusser sells his van for £25,000.00
He can invest the money - best building society account - and earn £1100.00 after tax in interest. 
He does not pay vehicle tax - £185 per year. 
He does not pay insurance - let's guess £300 per year. 
He does not pay for a couple of ferry crossings - £150 per year. 
Let's assume 8000 miles, 25 mpg @ £4.75 per gallon, so £1440.00
The hab service will not need doing - £150 per year
The engine/chassis service - another saving og £150 per year.

So far then, Pusser is £3325 per year better off, and has cash to hand.

I did this for my own vehicle etc, and am about £7000 per year better off without a van.

The calculations do not include pitch fees.

A 108 day world cruise can be had for just over £8000 after shopping around - all food included. A week in a nice hotel in Inverness, half board can be had for £240.

Mmmm, food for thought.


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## DABurleigh (May 9, 2005)

Yes, Russ, I remember well doing similar in my caravanning days when a colleague who was THINKING about caravanning presented me with similar sums. I couldn't fault his logic. My only rejoinder was that if simple £ is what he reduced the camping lifestyle to, he fundamentally had missed its virtue 

I'd want to be PAID to go on a world cruise 

Dave


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## Pusser (May 9, 2005)

*Re: No van*



Rapide561 said:


> Hi
> 
> Being the number juggler that I am, here are my thoughts.
> 
> ...


Ooh... I'm printing that off. That is a lot of cornish pasties I can have.

And then there is bog wash to save. Window washer, Gaslow stuff. Charging up. I shall be so rich, people will want to befriend me.


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## Rapide561 (Oct 1, 2005)

*Cruise*

Dave

I am effectively being paid by Tesco to go on the world cruise on the Oriana!!!!!

Russell


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## Pusser (May 9, 2005)

*Re: Cruise*



Rapide561 said:


> Dave
> 
> I am effectively being paid by Tesco to go on the world cruise on the Oriana!!!!!
> 
> Russell


Can you try and organise some edible fruit in your travels for their buyers. I am sick and tired of Tesco fruit being rock hard and then after a few days, pulp on a stalk.


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## CaGreg (Mar 28, 2007)

Ok Ok, Pusser, I believe that you are serious about selling Porky and I am over it!!!
Now I am sooooooo looking forward to hearing the fun and games you will tell us about when you are actually in the selling process..I am booking a front row seat.

Ca


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## geraldandannie (Jun 4, 2006)

*Re: No van*



Rapide561 said:


> I did this for my own vehicle etc, and am about £7000 per year better off without a van.


Interesting sums, Russell, but where would you live? :lol:

Gerald


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## Pusser (May 9, 2005)

CaGreg said:


> Ok Ok, Pusser, I believe that you are serious about selling Porky and I am over it!!!
> Now I am sooooooo looking forward to hearing the fun and games you will tell us about when you are actually in the selling process..I am booking a front row seat.
> 
> Ca


 I'm hoping against hope that someone will say I will give you this amount. I say yes. Deal done and dusted. Somehow I feel it is going to be a little more complicated than that. And of course as most of us have motorhomes on here then it is unlikely anyone will want it.

I can feel a panic attack coming.


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## Rapide561 (Oct 1, 2005)

*Re: No van*



geraldandannie said:


> Rapide561 said:
> 
> 
> > I did this for my own vehicle etc, and am about £7000 per year better off without a van.
> ...


In a house!!!!! The figures are based on using the motorhome for leisure.

Russell


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## bigbazza (Mar 6, 2008)

*Re: No van*



Pusser said:


> I shall be so rich, people will want to befriend me.


See your getting dilusional already, pull yourself together man.


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## JohnsCrossMotorHomes (Jul 21, 2007)

Pussers never been the same since he bought that Kayak from us!

Must be water on the 'brain'


Peter


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## Pusser (May 9, 2005)

JohnsCrossMotorHomes said:


> Pussers never been the same since he bought that Kayak from us!
> 
> Must be water on the 'brain'
> 
> Peter


I bought a nice electric pump and packed it neatly inside Porky and forgot the canoe when we went to France.. |  Not that I could have used it but the rest of the family could have done as I go them a decent dinghy with some paddles last year for the grandchildren to use.

I phoned up your good office yesterday with a plea to your sales office.
The nice lady who answered the phone I think has got the gist of my ramblings.


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## neilbes (Oct 16, 2006)

pusser just think of all those weekends you can spend in B&Q when you have no van to go away with :idea:


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## DABurleigh (May 9, 2005)

Killer point I must say. The van IS my escape from DIY.

Dave


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## locovan (Oct 17, 2007)

*Re: No van*



geraldandannie said:


> Rapide561 said:
> 
> 
> > I did this for my own vehicle etc, and am about £7000 per year better off without a van.
> ...


I think we all know the M/H is a dear hobby.
The price of the M/H when we buy it and the fuel, tax, Insurance, all the things we buy for it, the repairs and services would buy us a lot of a package holidays thats for sure.
But-- we wouldnt have so much fun as we do and the people we meet at rallies, sites and on the road.
I never knew Retirement was going to such fun and I dont regret one penny of what we spend on our hobby.


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## Pusser (May 9, 2005)

Porky has gone.  Porky will be up for adoption at Johns Cross shortly all **** and span.
We sold him in the end rather than contract so only the Merc to go and we are down to one car between us, apart from my sons cars which I get a contribution for now and again.

Johns Cross Salesmen I found to be very straight and direct and had time to answer my bizarre questions.

It was a very sad day with Porky going and driving along the M25 I started talking to him. I thanked him for all the safe journeys we had and apologised to him for not taking him out much and in essence, only to France.

And do you know, he answered me. Not in words I could hear with my ears but in my mind. It came through as clear as clear can be and this is what dear Porky said as tears crept into my eyes.


"I am so glad to get shot of you, you great lump of lard. I am sick and tired of heaving you around France and in my view you should be in an Old Peoples Home not a Motorhome. I liked standing doing nothing as it meant your grubby hands were not all over my steering wheel. But at least thank you for putting me up for adoption. This time I hope I will get someone who takes me to some interesting places and spends each weekend cleaning me and showing me off at rallies. You can't even be arsed to go to one so I cannot even meet my friends. And stop calling me Porky. You're the fat sod of the family; not me."

I can't go on....... I'm filling up.


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## locovan (Oct 17, 2007)

Pusser said:


> Porky has gone.  Porky will be up for adoption at Johns Cross shortly all **** and span.
> We sold him in the end rather than contract so only the Merc to go and we are down to one car between us, apart from my sons cars which I get a contribution for now and again.
> 
> Johns Cross Salesmen I found to be very straight and direct and had time to answer my bizarre questions.
> ...


Oh pusser


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## rowley (May 14, 2005)

What a sad day Puss. It is amazing how attached we become to lumps of metal. I am feeling a bit of a twinge now about the Twin going soon.


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## 106573 (Aug 20, 2007)

Pusser,............Don't walk into the light, stay away from the light........don't.............ahhhh to late..



and so it came to pass, that Pusser became a normal person, and lived a feckless, listluss, droll, ordinary, dead parrot (sketch) life for Hymer and Hymer!
Amen (and Women)


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## Pusser (May 9, 2005)

Tinhuttraveler said:


> Pusser,............Don't walk into the light, stay away from the light........don't.............ahhhh to late..
> 
> and so it came to pass, that Pusser became a normal person, and lived a feckless, listluss, droll, ordinary, dead parrot (sketch) life for Hymer and Hymer!
> Amen (and Women)


I don't know what to do.  The Samaritans are engaged.  Thank you for cheering me up. 8O


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## Penquin (Oct 15, 2007)

We are all sad to hear of your separation but am confident that Porky will have a great life in the future via JCM so that is one thing less to worry about !     

Sadly, you will now become diverted by such mundane tasks as weeding the garden, painting and redecorating, and similar mind-blowing activities.     

Just so long as you keep in touch and let us all know how life in the great big world is treating you.     

A sad day but it has to happen.  

Dave


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## Jezport (Jun 19, 2008)

It felt strange seeing our MH drive off, however when I looked at my bank account I felt better


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## Pusser (May 9, 2005)

Jezport said:


> It felt strange seeing our MH drive off, however when I looked at my bank account I felt better


Mines still empty at the moment.  But maybe off to France for a few days next week to try and get some sort of holiday in this year before Christmas. ( Next year we may even venture to Milton Keynes. 8) )


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## SpeedyDux (Jul 13, 2007)

Ah bless you Pusser. I can well understand your bereavement. Trips will never be the same again.

Best of luck with your "normal" hols. :roll: 


SD


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## erneboy (Feb 8, 2007)

Pusser, are you still expecting to take delivery of a fictional RV and if so, are going to France in it. I have been thinking and conclude that an FRV would behave exactly as you want it to. That may suit you till you change your mind and replace Porky. I was sorry to read all the hurtful things he said to you, the ungrateful git, Alan.


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## Pusser (May 9, 2005)

erneboy said:


> I was sorry to read all the hurtful things he said to you, the ungrateful git, Alan.


I'm getting over it slowly thanks Erne and for the thought but I have made some allowances for Porky's outburst and that is he was, after all, a German and tactfulness is not a National virtue.

It's too soon for me to think of replacements Ern. I need time to mourn. I need time to relive precious memories. I need the money for him.


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## JohnsCrossMotorHomes (Jul 21, 2007)

Pusser said:


> Porky has gone.  Porky will be up for adoption at Johns Cross shortly all **** and span.


'Porkies' smiling all over his little face as he wallows in all the attention and loving care he is getting from Andy and Paul down in the valeters bay.

He did sqeal at the water temperature being too cold for his delicate skin though! But once they dried him off with some new towels he was a happly little piglet and now he has got a shiny new coat of wax, he is as pleased as punch.

Peter


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## locovan (Oct 17, 2007)

Bless him he sounds almost human


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## waz (Jan 5, 2008)

locovan said:


> Bless him he sounds almost human


Thats right locovan hurt his feeling why don't you ha ha

Waz


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## parigby (Jul 18, 2006)

Oh come on, what is all this emotional garbage. Pusser decided that MoHoming wasn't for him, so got rid of a load of metal, plastic and cloth bits, for good old English pounds. 

Get real, these MoHomes, do not have feelings. 

Stop behaving like a lot of soppy melodramatic teenagers and join the real world.

That's you lot told - am now retreating behind the sofa, and won't come out until all the abuse has stopped.


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## JohnsCrossMotorHomes (Jul 21, 2007)

parigby said:


> Stop behaving like a lot of soppy melodramatic teenagers and join the real world.
> .


Pusser and me TEENAGERS?

Those days are long gone :roll:

Peter


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## locovan (Oct 17, 2007)

parigby said:


> Oh come on, what is all this emotional garbage. Pusser decided that MoHoming wasn't for him, so got rid of a load of metal, plastic and cloth bits, for good old English pounds.
> 
> Get real, these MoHomes, do not have feelings.
> 
> ...


Now look here --a motorhome gives a lot of loyal service. 
We travel around together stopping in all sorts of places together for weekends and holidays.
We careful wash and polish them and we say how smart they look when we have finished.
So when they go--- we can surely feel sad  and hope the next owner will love and cherish them as much as we did. :wink:


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## Hezbez (Feb 7, 2009)

Bye bye Porky, it's the end of an era


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## litcher (Jul 24, 2006)

locovan said:


> Bless him he sounds almost human


Porky or Pusser Mavis? :lol: :lol:

Are you sure you're not going to regret this? How will you cope with the void?

Viv


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## Pusser (May 9, 2005)

parigby said:


> Oh come on, what is all this emotional garbage. Pusser decided that MoHoming wasn't for him, so got rid of a load of metal, plastic and cloth bits, for good old English pounds.
> 
> Get real, these MoHomes, do not have feelings.
> 
> ...


How... how can you be so cruel.  Of course m\homes have feelings. Why shuoldn't they have. My teddy bear told me that some humans have feelings too. 8O


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## Pusser (May 9, 2005)

litcher said:


> locovan said:
> 
> 
> > Bless him he sounds almost human
> ...


I dunno Itchy. I shall just have to take myself in hand and visit Specsavers for tests more often.


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## Pusser (May 9, 2005)

[quote="JohnsCrossMotorHomes
'Porkies' smiling all over his little face as he wallows in all the attention and loving care he is getting from Andy and Paul down in the valeters bay. 
Peter[/quote]

Thank you very much for looking after him and Porks is going to be one humdinger of a motorhome for some couple. The adoption process was made very easy by Lawrence and Andy and I was left wtith the impression of acute business sense and honesty together, not often seen and as memory serves only Van Bitz is on par.

When Porks is on the forecourt and on your for sale website, please let me know and I will stick a link in my sig.

And don't forget he only drinks BP Ultimate.


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## JohnsCrossMotorHomes (Jul 21, 2007)

Pusser said:


> And don't forget he only drinks BP Ultimate.


Thats no problem, we will make sure he gets a drink and the lucky new owner will get a bottle of vino to celebrate with as well.

Peter


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## dinger (Jul 30, 2007)

*porky*

Nurse ....nurse... straight jacket and tablets please 8O


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## JohnsCrossMotorHomes (Jul 21, 2007)

JohnsCrossMotorHomes said:


> Thats no problem, we will make sure he gets a drink and the lucky new owner will get a bottle of vino to celebrate with as well.
> Peter


The following members of MHF thanked this poster 
Pusser


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