# I'm a smoker, supposedly.



## nickoff (Oct 11, 2005)

Had an appointment with the nurse at the local Drs. today, "man check".
After the usual tests, blood pressure, cholesterol etc she took a look at the computer and said " I see you are a smoker, maybe you should think about giving it up". I told her that I don't smoke. "Well it says here that you do". I then informed her that I do have the very occasional cigar, 2-3 times a year. In fact the last one I had was last Christmas. "Well that means you are a smoker then". She wasn't impressed when I retorted that if I eat fatty foods at all of my meals but have an apple once a week then I must be eating healthily. Not that I do, of coarse. "Well it would be a good idea if you don't smoke one this Christmas"
Bloody hell, they want to take all of life's little pleasures away from us. What next? No glass of wine or beer, no choccy or cake. Think I might take up smoking ****, that would give her a heart attack. :lol: 

Nick.


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## bigcats30 (Aug 13, 2012)

Prepare to be sent to hell! :lol:


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## GEMMY (Jun 19, 2006)

I'm already there :wink: 

tony


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## bigfrank3 (Mar 26, 2007)

Every time I go to the docs for my annual checkup I am asked do you smoke and have you ever smoked. I used to say no I stopped 30 years ago. I am now so fed up with being asked I say no I don't smoke.

I also used to be asked how many units do you drink a week. After telling them that the units is a government fancy that I don't understand I used to enumerate what I drank during a week and the doctor used to write down his result. Now I just say 28. 

It keeps them happy and it stops me getting a frustrated feelig that I am giving all this information, they are inputting it and still they need to ask for the same information instead of asking "has anything changed in your alcohol/cigarette intake

Frank

(rant over)


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## 1946 (Jan 5, 2006)

I wonder what she is up to outside " office hours "  

Maddie


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## simandme (Jan 11, 2011)

If 1 cigar a year = smoker

then we must be vegetarians!! :lol: :lol: 

We only see the gp once or twice a year and everytime the smoking question comes up...because they get paid to ask this question!!!!


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## commuter (Jul 13, 2011)

in the many checks I've had recently why is it always an overweight nurse smelling of cigarettes with a hangover who offers advice on my habits?

(FYI I'm a non smoker who has about 4 bottles of beer a month)


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## Wizzo (Dec 3, 2007)

Hey. Being a smoker is not all bad. It gets you a better pension!

Unfortunately I am as much of a smoker as nickoff, my last cigar was last Christmas and I never thought that would count when I converted what Private Pensions I'd got into annuities.

JohnW


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## vmeldrew (May 3, 2007)

I think I'm right in saying that under the new GP contracts introduced by Labour a few years ago the surgery can claim a payment for discussing giving up smoking with smoking patients, among other things.


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## Hessi (Nov 6, 2012)

I bet she / he (sorry can't be sexist) is a jobsworth.

Keep on puffing as and when you want to.

best regards

Hessi 8)


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## Hessi (Nov 6, 2012)

Sorry just re-read your message, she must be a jobsworth

best regards

Hessi 8)


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## nickoff (Oct 11, 2005)

What made it worst was when she told me that I'm almost overweight. I'm 5 foot 9 and around 11 stone 10 pounds, in old money. :evil: 

Nick.


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## HarleyDave (Jul 1, 2007)

I've decided I'm not overweight - I'm just not tall enough (6'2" but 19st.)  

Anyway my annuity provider doesn't consider that a life shortening condition so who am I to argue. :dontknow: 

Cheers

Dave


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## HermanHymer (Dec 5, 2008)

HarleyDave said:


> I've decided I'm not overweight - I'm just not tall enough (6'2" but 19st.)
> 
> Anyway my annuity provider doesn't consider that a life shortening condition so who am I to argue. :dontknow:
> 
> ...


Like Garfield - he's not overweight - he's undertall.

Viv

PS Banish your smoker's guilt - you smoke, you can't give it up, therefore you smoke. But don't kid yourself, smoking kills (not always, but often enough). Lung cancer and emphysema are not good ways to die.


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## nicholsong (May 26, 2009)

vmeldrew said:


> I think I'm right in saying that under the new GP contracts introduced by Labour a few years ago the surgery can claim a payment for discussing giving up smoking with smoking patients, among other things.


How do the NHS know whether they have discussed it or not?


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## dovtrams (Aug 18, 2009)

At my annual MOT last month, a doctor I had never met before started of by saying ' do you still drink 12 pints of beer a week'? I asked if he was talking to the right patient and somehow someone else's drinking habits had got on to my computerised medical record. My own doctor never asks because we both have the same drinking habit, good malt. It is a bit like the doctor who told my 86 year old father to cut down on his whisky consumption! 

I have never smoked but keep getting asked the same question, then they wonder why they are pushed for time. And I have also had a medical and been told to lose weight 6 foot and 16 stone, by a female nurse whose arse is hanging over both sides of her chair. At least she laughed and said I am not be best example of someone to tell you to lose weight.

Dave


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## commuter (Jul 13, 2011)

nicholsong said:


> How do the NHS know whether they have discussed it or not?


simple tick in a box and the NHS trust the GP's


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## nicholsong (May 26, 2009)

commuter said:


> nicholsong said:
> 
> 
> > How do the NHS know whether they have discussed it or not?
> ...


So that is why they are called NHS 'Trusts' :lol:


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## Penquin (Oct 15, 2007)

So if you are "nearly a smoker" and "nearly overweight" I wonder how many other "nearly's" you could accummulate...

presumably "nearly fit" and "nearly healthy" would be inappropriate for someone with those reckless designations :lol: 

I would hate to think whether they would apply the "nearly alive" or conversely "nearly dead" if you have more than one such "nearly" applied to your case.....

gosh, the GP's must like getting "nearly paid" for doing "nearly nothing" :lol: 

and the payment authority obviously also do "nearly nothing" as an example for the GP's as regards checking their records for being "nearly accurate"...... :lol: 

time has "nearly run out" for me to contribute, and MrsW wants me to "nearly plant" some bulbs in the garden - I may get some of them "nearly in the right place" - but that is unlikely! :lol: :lol: 

'Bye for now........ :roll: 

Dave


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## 1302 (Apr 4, 2006)

vmeldrew said:


> I think I'm right in saying that under the new GP contracts introduced by Labour a few years ago the surgery can claim a payment for discussing giving up smoking with smoking patients, among other things.


^^^^This^^^

There was no one more keen to diagnose me as a diabetic than the 'diabetic nurse' a sliver over the ideal blood sugar level and I was on the list. She wnt even that keen on m trying to 'fix' it with diet. I learnt latr that new goals had been set to recognise 'new' diabetics.

I've lost over two stone since then and stopped drinking as much (and differntly) and blood sugar is back to normal but I am still on th list - they say forever, howeever I am currently battling to be taken off it - I'm OK - it would bea waster of moneyfor me to continuing going for checks every five minutes. :roll:


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## Remus (Feb 10, 2011)

Tobacco is a vegetable product. Maybe it should count towards your "five a day".


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## HurricaneSmith (Jul 13, 2007)

1302 said:


> .....I've lost over two stone since then and stopped drinking as much.......


Strewth Paul.............Looking at the photo in your last blog you must have been a hell raiser in the past then. :lol:

Sorry........Couldn't resist it.


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## 1302 (Apr 4, 2006)

HurricaneSmith said:


> 1302 said:
> 
> 
> > .....I've lost over two stone since then and stopped drinking as much.......
> ...


I knew this would be resurrected  :lol:

But I 'do' now drink a 'little' wine - rather than 'gallons' of cider


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