# Trip to London



## freewheeler (Nov 6, 2005)

So I casually said to the LoML (Light of My Life), “How about taking Lydia & 2K1D (2 Kids & 1 Dog) to London?” Lydia is our elderly motorhome which we have had nearly a year now – my brother, bless him, went out and blew £35K on a brand new ‘home after a couple of weeks of research, talk about rushing into it. And then he goes and cancels a trip to Pembrokeshire and flies to Spain for a bargain bucket hotel deal. Must be mad.

I take things a little more slowly so we ventured into motorhoming in a more measured way, taking no risks and not handing over money without carefully considering what we were doing. Therefore, quite rationally, we bought Lydia unseen on Ebay, agreed to meet a bloke in a pub car park in the depths of the Fens near Wisbech one autumn Sunday afternoon and handed over an awful lot of cash, and drove away. Thinking back, it could all have ended in tears, but me and the LoML claim to be good judges of character…… There has been no looking back and we have thoroughly enjoyed ourselves so far. We look at each other when we are sat having yet another cup of tea in a car park somewhere in the depths of the countryside, and tell each other we are not old before our time but just to get on and enjoy it.

So, gratifyingly, the LoML and 2K1D agreed. 2K always love the idea of going anywhere near London, 1D just loves being with us (he is not the brightest of animals but obviously has a similar line in judging character) and LoML enjoys the outdoor life as much as me, (but without going to the extremes that I take when riding my bicycle very fast in the company of others, trying to beat them across the line). When I casually mentioned that I might be able to take part in a race down the Lea Valley circuit on the Sunday morning they either didn’t hear me (ahem) or were so excited about going to London that I got no negative comment, so that was the green light as far as I was concerned.

So there we were hammering down the A12 on a Friday evening. Hammering is a subjective word, possibly conveying a feeling of speed to most people. But in Lydia’s context, hammering is the sound her engine makes when she is being asked to lift her skirts and try and keep pace with the manic agricultural drivers in their souped up super-tractors in the East Anglian region. Anything about 50 mph needs to be sent to her by recorded delivery with at least a weeks notice, and 60 mph is marked on the speedo but the moths have taken up residence on that side of the dial so we tend to make leisurely progress, unless time is tight.

LoML asked me to tell her about the destination for that night. I had picked out a CL type site that was in the right area and sounded nice. (I did ponder about how a listing in a site guide can sound ‘nice’ – one site did list the fact that it was next to a turkey hatchery, which I thought was very honest, but surely not good for business.) No concern was raised when I let it slip that I could not actually get hold of the owners to book the pitch – LoML does get more laid back about these minor details when going out in Lydia. This serene scene was ceremoniously screwed up with a challenging question from the passenger seat. “Does it have showers?”

This other minor detail, on a baking hot sweaty day, after I had earlier pushed her out of the door for a morning shift at work, had slipped (actually totally plunged off the radar) from my mind so I took the best line of defence – lying. “Yes, of course it has showers, it says so in the guide.” Once we had established that the guide did not list any mention of showers, I admitted that maybe I had misread the details.

We stopped for tea. We usually self-cater when away in the ‘home but I had decided to treat the LoML and 2K1D to a meal out. This was part of the continuing plan to keep them all on my side throughout the week-end. Whilst I tried to ignore the prices on the menu and convince LoML that I just wanted a small meal, I was rapidly consulting the site listings trying to find a site nearby that had the requisite showers, as well as hook-up. There was not much choice and a few phone-calls convinced me that everyone else had decided to hit the road in their ’homes or hook up their metal boxes to the back of their cars for the weekend and decided to go to the very same area I wanted to be in. Everywhere was full.

I went for the back-up plan that I always carried. (All male ‘homers must always carry a Back-up Plan, without exception. Execution and Presentation of The Plan is the important bit, and goes a long way to maintain Peace and Harmony.) I phoned the site that I had planned for Night Two to confirm they had space for Night One. The Back-up Plan worked beautifully when the site confirmed they could take us that night.

The meal was good, the sun was shining, so announcing we were going to drive further down the A12 went without too much protest. We turned up at Sewardstone Camp Site in the Lea Valley to be met by a friendly site manager, excellent facilities, a beautiful green, spacious site and the sun was still shining. Considering the location of this site, so close to London, it was a really pleasant surprise and we got organised and had a very comfortable night. Everybody was happy.

The next morning we walked to the site entrance where the bus stopped very conveniently, and jumped on the bus to Walthamstow and spent a good couple of hours perusing the market – well recommended.

That evening we had planned to surprise some relatives who lived close by but could not arrange it. Another Back-up Plan was called for. I casually announced that we could maybe drive into central London in the ‘home to see the sights. Knowing LoML’s aversion to tight spaces in traffic when sat in Lydia, and that if there was going to be some tight spaces then England’s finest would be able to serve up the tightest, I was confidently expecting to be shot down in flames. Bringing up all the qualities I had admired in her from day one, she called my bluff and said OK.

So there we were on a Saturday night (“it will be quiet on a Saturday night……….”) driving into London in a 21’ motorhome. No power steering, no rear camera, no fear!!

Getting through the outskirts of London was a bit challenging due to the amount of traffic (doh!), but once into Central London I got my bearings and we toured round. Kings Cross, Hyde Park, Buckingham Palace, Constitution Hill, Trafalgar Square, Whitehall, Westminster, The Embankment and Tower Bridge were all crossed off. Despite the Red Route signs I took a quick picture of Lydia outside Downing Street for the album, but when I asked one of the 2Ks to jump out on Tower Bridge to take a picture he refused. Young generation these days have no bottle. I even promised him that if he ran really quickly I could pick him up coming the other way if the traffic started speeding up.

It was a very good experience and although not one I would recommend as an every day occurrence, it passed without incident and I felt quiet satisfaction and some elation that we had taken our elderly lady into the heart of one of the busiest cities and had a great time. The driving position in a ‘home is great for seeing the sights, and car drivers do tend to give you a teeny bit more room when squeezing through the busier junctions. Great fun. I could not understand why 1D seemed so un-moved by the experience though – ungrateful hound.

I thought it would be a good time to mention about the plans for the next day, reminding my passengers about my proposed cycle race. Well, actually it was two cycle races, one after the other, and the really bad news was that we would have to leave the site by 8 30 in the morning.

I think that LoML has forgiven me for getting her up early and dragging her out to hold my spare wheels, and my track-suit top, and my drinking bottle by the side of the road. I thoughtfully didn’t give the usual witty comment that it could have been much worse if it was raining. 2K No 1 stayed in her bed but 2K No 2 sulked because he had designs on a young female camper from the site and was hoping to make progress. When I asked him if he knew what language she actually conversed in, let alone be able to understand her, he became strangely evasive.

An uneventful journey home and another successful trip. The only trouble is that the more we enjoy it, the more that LoML wants to buy a newer, better ‘home. But not £35k though.

Things I learnt from this trip:

Read the site guides carefully.
Try and plan your trips to give something for everyone to look forward to.
Always have a back-up plan (or two).
If you venture into London, plan your route. Plan it to get into the centre itself, and plan it to cover the sights in an easy to understand route. Doing U turns is not good news.

Questions for other ‘Homers:

Where can you park a ‘home in Central London to be able to do some more detailed sight seeing?
Why are the main roads in London so badly sign-posted?
Has anyone else bought a ‘home off Ebay – what sort of experiences have you had?


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## gaspode (May 9, 2005)

Excellent account there freewheeler. I can just see the queue of M/Hs trudging through central London next Saturday night - all flying a MHF pennant. :lol: 
Nice writing style, if you could arrange a few humerous disasters (preferably involving toilets or Belgians) on your next trip you could almost challenge that great and revered narrator of foreign M/H trips, the illustrious Pusser.

Thanks for sharing your experience with us all.


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## ingram (May 12, 2005)

A fun story: I was with you all the way; laughing ...
Harvey


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## Steptoe (Nov 8, 2005)

Lunnon? I didn't realise that any East Anglians went to Lunnon....this is probably why we don't have any motorways. 

Great story BTW


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## Pusser (May 9, 2005)

Great read amd many thanks for that. Somehow I just cannot imagine me ever wanting to travel into London for leisure purposes but each to his own.

I never bother with backup plans as initial plans never work I have no reason to believe backup plans would be any better.


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