# That's how the fights start



## Gorman (Nov 24, 2008)

My wife and I were watching "Who Wants to be a Millionaire" while we were in bed. I turned to her and said, "Do you want to have sex?" "No," she answered. I then said, "Is that your final answer?" She didn't even look at me this time, simply saying "Yes So I said, "Then I'd like to phone a friend." 
And that's how the fight started … 

***

Saturday morning I got up early, quietly dressed, made my lunch, grabbed the dog, and slipped quietly into the garage. I hooked the boat up to the truck, and proceeded to back out into a torrential downpour. The wind was blowing 50 mph, so I pulled back into the garage, turned on the radio, and discovered that the weather would be bad all day. I went back into the house, quietly undressed, and slipped back into bed. I cuddled up to my wife's back, now with a different anticipation, and whispered, 'The weather out there is terrible.' My loving wife of 10 years replied, 'Can you believe my stupid husband is out fishing in that?'
And that's how the fight started …

****
I took my wife to a restaurant. The waiter, for some reason, took my order first. 'I'll have the strip steak, medium rare, please.' He said, 'Aren't you worried about the mad cow?' 'Nah, she can order for herself.'
And that's how the fight started …

****

A woman is standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror. She is not happy with what she sees and says to her husband, I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment.' The husband replies, 'Your eyesight's darn near perfect.' 
And that's how the fight started … 


****


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## smithies (Jul 1, 2007)

Bill,

You have a wicked sense of humour !!...are you still married ???


Jenny


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## Gorman (Nov 24, 2008)

Twenty-seven years this June.


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## smithies (Jul 1, 2007)

You musta married a saint..!!! Tell her I said that, and see what she says !!

Jenny


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## Telbell (May 1, 2005)

Nice one Gorman

A couple more:

When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take her someplace
expensive....
So, I took her to a petrol station ....
And then the fight started....

********
After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply for Social
Security.
The woman behind the counter asked me for my driver's license to verify
my age.
I looked in my pockets and realized I had left my wallet at home.
I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I would have to go home and
come back later
The woman said, 'Unbutton your shirt'.
So I opened my shirt revealing my curly silver hair.
She said, 'That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me'
And she processed my Social Security application.
When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my experience at the
Social Security office.
She said, 'You should have dropped your trousers. You might have got
Disability allowance, too'
And then the fight started.....

****


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## Gorman (Nov 24, 2008)

She said, 'You should have dropped your trousers. You might have got
Disability allowance, too'
And then the fight started.....


Excellent, that's the kind of dry wit my other half would come away with.


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