# A lovely day



## aldra (Jul 2, 2009)

Well as many of you know

I reached boiling point and changed the locks 

No more Friday meals, no family Christmas party , and the Christmas meal was the last ever 

True I over reacted, but you can be too close 

And memories are strange things 

It seems we didn’t take our grandkids to nursery and pick them up 

They didn’t live with us , we didn’t care for them throughout the school holidays

And Megs only lived with us because we didnt charge her rent

But as we we were paying her through Uni and her MS Law

Why would we charge rent ?

And her brother who we are helping to buy his first house , because I bathed him daily and fed him because his mum started work at 7.30 am , and dropped him and his sister at nursery on my way to work , and collected him and his sister on the way back 

But it didn’t happen 

It seems I was a crap mum 

So I told them all get lost

Silence for a while

I quite liked that 

But yesterday we had a meal with our eldest in his home , he’s 52

And he said you two are the most giving of anyone I’ve ever known , I could never be that giving 

Today our daughter and family came for a meal, with another daughter

Yet another daughter and family arrived with presents 

Our son dropped of Issy on his way to work to meet with the other grandkids 

Gill picked her up , she’s divorcing our son , but she is still family so she stopped off for tea and to tell us about her new house 

But Izzy is damaged , she was damaged by alcohol and drugs by her birth mother 

And I was damaged by children’s homes 

But I hope I overcame that 

But I have Albert 

And they have Albert 

So who knows , they may be on to a winner 

Sandra


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## dghr272 (Jun 14, 2012)

A bit of tough love works wonders sometimes Sandra well done.

Terry


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## patp (Apr 30, 2007)

Well done Sandra. Now just stick at it and keep the strong boundaries in place 


I am good at giving advice... Just told a young mother off for still spoon feeding her seven year old! It started with me telling her off for allowing her dog to dictate the brand of food he is given. He refuses to eat anything but the best she says. Give him to me for a week, I replied, and he will soon eat what he is given! She then confessed that the child was a fussy eater too. The child sits there and points to her mouth to signal her mother to fill it with food !


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## HermanHymer (Dec 5, 2008)

Kids, young and old, can be such tyrants!


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## bazzy (Sep 22, 2010)

aldra said:


> Well as many of you know
> 
> I reached boiling point and changed the locks
> 
> ...


What an incredibly lovely lady. :smile2:


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## raynipper (Aug 4, 2008)

No I didn't know Sandra. Maybe I have been reading the wrong posts.
But it's nice to know you can still establish the 'pecking order'.

An ex in law came out with a few home truths a couple of years ago about her grandkids and has had no contact with her son since. It's so devastating and hurtful for her but she can't break the silence.

Ray.


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## jiwawa (Jun 22, 2007)

Gosh, that's been hard Sandra.

But it seems that the boundaries may have re-awakened people's sense of perspective (as well as failing memories, maybe!)

Well done, and stay strong.


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## patp (Apr 30, 2007)

Ray, if a few home truths hurt that much then things were fragile to start with. Some people just look for a chance to sever all ties.


My eldest brother was my mother's "golden boy". It went on all through childhood and teen years. When, however, she became a bit needy he soon found reasons to fall out with her so that he could distance himself from any "responsibilities". Meanwhile my other brother and I were still driven to try to become the "chosen one". Family dynamics are so complicated. I think child psychology should be part of the National Curriculum to help the next generation raise their children in a more balanced fashion. I am still suffering from my mother's treatment of me as a child.


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## raynipper (Aug 4, 2008)

Yes Pat but often parenting is learnt on the hoof so to speak.
We tolerate many things at a distance but close up day in day out small things become magnified to such an extent we just don't see how insignificant they really are.
Being an only child my life has been relatively simple to my wifes six siblings and 30 cousins. Although they were all 'perfect' the conflicts within could beat Payton Place and Enerdale any day.

Ray.


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## Pudsey_Bear (Sep 25, 2008)

God save us from relatives, PITA bar none, nothing is ever simple once more than two people are involved, in fact a lot of the time two is one too many.


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## aldra (Jul 2, 2009)

The problem with large families is that we respond to need

That’s soon forgotten when their need is sorted and another person has needs 

They have their own petty changing rivalries and jealousies towards and between each other, when arguments break out it depends who is supporting who at that moment of time 

Megs has now moved on and has work with a prestigious law firm and is beginning her career in Law, is about to rent a flat in South Manchester with a work colleague, and has been staying with her mums twin sister, and guess what she has refused to charge her rent during the weeks she is with her !!

Of course we were more active in the lives of the older grandchildren , we were much younger when they were young, our eldest is 23 the youngest 7 and there are now 10 of them , but comparisons are made between what we did for them in terms of care and what we apparently don’t do for others

They seem to forget we are 20+ years older now than then

At the moment we are supporting Izzy, she spends time here with us in the relative calm whilst her parents sort out their break up, and sort out their individual new homes. It will all work out in time no doubt 

Meanwhile as Ray says, it would make a good soap opera !!!!!!!!

Sandra


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## raynipper (Aug 4, 2008)

I guess thats it Sandra. Soaps are life and life is a never ending soap.

Ray.


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## Christine600 (Jan 20, 2011)

aldra said:


> They have their own petty changing rivalries and jealousies towards and between each other, when arguments break out it depends who is supporting who at that moment of time


This sounds very familiar! And well done you putting your foot down. Sometimes families need that to stop situations from growing out of control. Just like my phone needs it's reset button.


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## aldra (Jul 2, 2009)

Our son and granddaughter stayed overnight Monday , Tuesday breakfast, rush to get to school and silence 

Today I cleaned the house went shopping with my daughter , came home to my grandson , asleep and 
Feeling ill, hot and cold 

First thought , hell don’t give it to us 

I’m such a caring grandma 

Saw him, his mum and their dog off home 

So it’s just me, albert and the hound

A lamb dinner 

Still you appreciate the silence when the “surging hoofs are gone “

Sandra


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## aldra (Jul 2, 2009)

Well I no longer do a Friday meal

But still managed to end up with 6 , the fact it was Friday was incidental 

I haven’t changed except 

I’ll feed those who arrive , whenever they arrive 

But no longer are we responsible for keeping the family together 

That’s up to them, we’ve done our bit, and they can keep with us or not 

So far it seems they are keeping 

For all our faults

Sandra


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## patp (Apr 30, 2007)

I don't think they took you seriously Sandra. Six is too many!


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## HermanHymer (Dec 5, 2008)

Yes, you did more for... than you did for me! Which parent hasn't heard that? I had to remind my 'boys' when challenged, that I helped them both in their hour of need, but being 'in need' was my criterion for action. How can one rationalise and explain how one need supported is of equal value as another need supported? Especially when one offspring is more organised and the other one needy more often? An insoluble conundrum! As a subjective an occasional observer, I think perhaps Sandra has experienced the same... and been held accountable (??) Suck it up I say and be thankful you haven't been as needy as the other one.


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## aldra (Jul 2, 2009)

patp said:


> I don't think they took you seriously Sandra. Six is too many!


No it wasn't planned

I'd cooked a large gammon , various family members arrived , some expected some not, but there was plenty for all, a few extra chips, a few more fried eggs

I always cook far to much, I cooked everyday for eight people , I think all these years later I've got it down to four !!

I don't mind them dropping in, if there is enough food on the go I'll feed them

Megs and her auntie were here yesterday to pack Megs belongings, she achieved what I've never managed, megs actually packed up loads of clothes for the charity shop

Her room is empty, the end of yet another era for us, a new beginning for Megs in her rented flat and job in a Law firm

But I was still food orientated, cooked them a 3 kilo gammon, a batch of scones, and a large amount of clotted cream, to take home for the family tea

I bought a kilo of clotted cream at a bargain price , as you do :grin2:

I might be a crap mum, but I'm a good cook >

Sandra


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## patp (Apr 30, 2007)

You are a fantastic mum! I only wish my mother had been half as caring as you are.


Feeding children (and pets) is our way of expressing love. It is why we get so upset when the recipient does not eat. They are rejecting our love.


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## aldra (Jul 2, 2009)

Pat

Obviously I don’t know your mum 

And I’m sad you have memories that are not happy

But so have mine it seems 

But I like your mum probabally did the best we could 

And you are the product of that

And in my opinion

You came out great girl 

Just as I survived the children’s homes , the loveless existence , I’m me, I learnt to love , albert helped 

And it’s not Pc but so did my God 

And so have you 

And I’m sure you’ve taught your kids to love , and they your grandkids 

So the past is the past , you influence the future 

Sandra


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## patp (Apr 30, 2007)

No,Sandra, my mother did not do her best for me. She did the best for herself. If I gained benefit from that then I was lucky. I have been seeing a therapist for my sleep disorder and she has revealed some very disturbing things from my childhood. These things caused anxieties which have coloured most of my life. Circumstances saved me just as they saved you. I went to a small, secondary modern, girls school and found nurturing there. I could see, there, how life should be in a nurturing environment. I know that you found someone, also, to show you how good life can be.


You are showing your children how to be good parents. As long as they learn it from somewhere they will be fine  Mind you a little bit of tough love doesn't go amiss now and then!


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## aldra (Jul 2, 2009)

Pat

I’m no expert , have only experience of my own childhood 

But one thing I think I know

That my childhood experiences shaped what I am 

Added to those experiences that came after 

And I’m me , the product of all of that 

And yes I’m proud of the me I turned out to be 

And you should be proud of the you you turned out to be 

Without those experiences, good and bad ,I wouldn’t be the me I am 

I’d be someone else, and I rather be me , Pat you are you , and in spite of what happened in the past 

It remains the past 

You are the present, borne of the past but not defined by it 

You are you , so many things to so many people 

Let the past go, embrace that it somehow made you what you are , a rather delightful person, loved and loving 

And I’m often wrong, but in this I’m so right 

You are you and why would you want to be anyone else ?

Your just about perfect girl 

Sandra


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## raynipper (Aug 4, 2008)

My memorable childhood experiences that might have shaped my character are doodlebugs, air raid shelters, rationing, almost drowning several times in the Thames, trolley buses and having the only car in our street.
I never really appreciated how hard my mother struggled to provide until I was 40+.

Ray.


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## aldra (Jul 2, 2009)

Yes 

Well I recognise the you from that ray>>>

Sandra:grin2:


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## patp (Apr 30, 2007)

Bless you Sandra. I am coming round to that way of thinking but it takes time. Only just found out that all the stuff I have been carrying round is down to those childhood experiences. Show me the child until he seven and I will show the man/woman.


Its funny, Ray, but both my brothers have a rose tinted view of my mother. She told us so many times of the sacrifices she made for all of us. Turns out she was doing it all for herself but they cannot see it. They judge my dad much more harshly even though he had much less influence on us kids. Must be a gender thing.


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## raynipper (Aug 4, 2008)

patp said:


> Its funny, Ray, but both my brothers have a rose tinted view of my mother. She told us so many times of the sacrifices she made for all of us. Turns out she was doing it all for herself but they cannot see it. They judge my dad much more harshly even though he had much less influence on us kids. Must be a gender thing.


Oh not sso in my case Pat.
My mum had to fight every day to keep a roof over our heads and food on the table being a war widow and in those days a second class citizen.
She gave me as much as possible under the circumstances and as I said I never realised untill much later her struggle.

Ray.


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## ChrisandJohn (Feb 3, 2008)

raynipper said:


> Oh not sso in my case Pat.
> My mum had to fight every day to keep a roof over our heads and food on the table being a war widow and in those days a second class citizen.
> She gave me as much as possible under the circumstances and as I said I never realised untill much later her struggle.
> 
> Ray.


Never had you down as a feminist Ray :wink2: but it's lovely to see not only your appreciation of your mother but also your realisation that things were so much harder for her because, as you say, she was 'in those days a second class citizen'.

Chris


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## raynipper (Aug 4, 2008)

Yes Chris, I could go on but in the end I just get bitter.
Single mums of today to me are just pathetic scroungers. OK the odd one isn't. But they have no concept of hardship.

Ray.


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## aldra (Jul 2, 2009)

I’m not sure how you can say that Ray

Far more than the odd ones are not pathetic scrounges 

In fact I’d say only the odd ones are 

That’s the stereotype thats grown up around them, the same stereotype that defines all those who receive out of work benifits 

It isn’t easy being a single mum , as you know, and although the struggles may be different post war era they are still struggles 

A single mum on benefits isn’t getting much, they can’t work in the early years because of childcare 

So they have a tv and maybe you didn’t , but most of those around you didn’t either 

Many fortunately have family support as my daughter did and still does 

And I get a delightful grandchild whose morphing in to a rather nice adult 

Sandra


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## aldra (Jul 2, 2009)

Give me a child until he/she is seven and I’ll give you the man/woman 

Could be true Pat but many of those kids had an horrendous seven years 

And still channelled those experiences into a special person 

A great deal of water passes under the bridge twixt 7 and adult hood 

We never stop learning and developing 

Sandra


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## raynipper (Aug 4, 2008)

Well as I said it only makes me bitter Sandra. I could go on for pages and pages about the hardships mum endured in 1945 as against todays handouts.
So I say again the single mum of today, barring bereavements doesn't know what harship is. I seem to remember someone wrote a book about the difficulties but they all suffered in different ways.

Ray.
p.s. it's even cheap to read................
https://www.amazon.co.uk/Wars-Forgotten-Women-British-Widows/dp/0752461796


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## aldra (Jul 2, 2009)

Ray

Why does it make you bitter?

Annoys you, irritates you?, but why bitter?

What does it matter , the single parents are going on about their lives , many are struggling , even those you deem to be scroungers 

Are not having it that easy in the scheme of things today

I don’t have you down as bitter 

They have a child , a child who has a right to live, to thrive regardless of their origins 

You don’t strike me as a person who does bitter

Sandra


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## raynipper (Aug 4, 2008)

Bitter is about the way my mother was treated.
I guess exasperated when I see whats available and provided now and how demanding some are and ungrateful. 
I am talking generalities about your modern single mum. And I did say bereavement excepted. But it would appear to me that it's just too easy to walk away from a 'relationship' and cry help me.

Ray.


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## aldra (Jul 2, 2009)

Well that is a modern phenomenal Ray 

Women now have the right to walk away from a relationship that’s going no where, such is progress and equality 

Men can still walk away from a child they have fathered, as they always could , and many do 

Young Albert has never seen or heard from his father since he was 6 weeks old 

He vanished into the mist , and any maintanence with him 

It takes two to make a baby 

So what’s all this about single mothers? 

What about the missing fathers 

Sandra


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## ChrisandJohn (Feb 3, 2008)

raynipper said:


> Bitter is about the way my mother was treated.
> I guess exasperated when I see whats available and provided now and how demanding some are and ungrateful.
> I am talking generalities about your modern single mum. And I did say bereavement excepted. But it would appear to me that it's just too easy to walk away from a 'relationship' and cry help me.
> 
> Ray.


I suppose Ray that a more positive way of looking at it is that 'society' recognised the difficult situation that your mother and those like her, and indeed anyone who is struggling due to loss of a breadwinner, employment, ill health etc. Hence the welfare state. Yes, some people may take it for granted but on the whole it is the safety net that is needed for all of us at times.

It's a bit like the way we all want our children to have a better life than us, but if we manage to give it to them they might just accept it as normal.

I remember my parents telling me that when they were children there were school mates who sometimes weren't able to attend school as they didn't have any shoes. Although we were often hard up I knew I was lucky never to be hungry and always to have enough clothes, even if not the ones I wanted.

Now I fear that we're returning to the pre-welfare state situation as there are now enormous holes in the safety net. i fear they'll be more people struggling like your mother and I really don't want to see that.

Chris


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## HermanHymer (Dec 5, 2008)

patp said:


> Its funny, Ray, but both my brothers have a rose tinted view of my mother. She told us so many times of the sacrifices she made for all of us. Turns out she was doing it all for herself but they cannot see it. They judge my dad much more harshly even though he had much less influence on us kids. Must be a gender thing.


The son-mother relationship is a wondrous thing! Mothers are forgiven/lauded for the most amazing things. How often do you hear someone start a 'speech'... for my mother! It has a corollary... it comes with the daughter-in-law effect... which can be anything between awful and great depending on the attitude of both. Life's little mysteries!


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## HermanHymer (Dec 5, 2008)

I can honestly say as a child I was fine, but it was a lot less than my grandchildren get today. And yet you see in the poorer communities, as in South Africa, some of those families/kids are living the life similar in may ways to that of Londoners in the Victorian era. But their lives will evolve, as it already has for many black South Africans.


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## raynipper (Aug 4, 2008)

We see your running out of water Viv.

Ray.


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## patp (Apr 30, 2007)

HermanHymer said:


> The son-mother relationship is a wondrous thing! Mothers are forgiven/lauded for the most amazing things. How often do you hear someone start a 'speech'... for my mother! It has a corollary... it comes with the daughter-in-law effect... which can be anything between awful and great depending on the attitude of both. Life's little mysteries!


It's certainly true in our family. I knew my oldest, brother would forgive my mother anything. Even when it was revealed that her treatment of me was akin to child abuse he still defended her. She adored him, because he was the first grandchild and that brought her attention, and they were very close. My middle brother, however, was treated very badly by her yet he still defends her. He, however, has no kind words to say for my father who, he says, failed to support him in his quest to become a footballer.
I wonder if it is that the male offspring recognises the failings in a man and cannot forgive him. Then assumes that their mother was "too weak" to change her behaviour and so should be forgiven? I, on the other hand, know that my mother had every opportunity to make us feel wanted and loved but actually made us, the two younger children, and in particular her daughter, feel the opposite.


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## aldra (Jul 2, 2009)

Wounbnt it be lovely if we were alone , just me and him 
Night after night 

If young Albert didn’t come each day on his way from college 

If I didn’t keep ready meals for the days he arrives at dinner time hungry 

If his mum didn’t arrive to pick up winston , his dog every evening after work, because he spends the day with us, and she stays sometimes for a meal or just to chat 

If we didn’t have Izzy to stay, alone or with her dad, whose divorcing her mum and is buying a house locally, several times a week

And she can be hard work, unless she’s alone with us , because she is emotionallyfar below her age , and intelligently far too much above it 

With us alone, she settles, loves shadow, the two of them have an understanding , he doesn’t judge her 

Or for her mum because she remains our family , we’re not divorcing her 

And the others who come and go regularly, kids and grandkids , stopping in to talk and listen, seek advise 

And the few days we are alone are the days we think are the best

But are they?

If those days stretched on and on 

Just me and him ?

Well no, they are not

Well they wouldn’t be the same 

They are just the days we recharge before immerging back into life 

Sandra


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## patp (Apr 30, 2007)

Ah Sandra, I could not cope with it either. Do like my own space. But I bet there are others that would kill for what you have.


Interesting about the relationship between Izzy and Shadow. They are using dogs more and more as companions for emotionally disturbed children. Non judgemental as you so rightly say.
When I was a child I had Blacky. He probably saved my sanity, now that I think about it. My constant non judgemental companion. Unfortunately my mother refused to let me have another pet when he died. In fact she told me, aged nine. that it was all my fault that he died! I had been sent on holiday to grandma's and, she said, he pined away for me.


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## aldra (Jul 2, 2009)

Well pat 
Shadow, the hound from hell , often saves my sanity

He welcomes the whole of our family, they make his day 

They don’t always make mine 

Sometimes I’m tired

Sometimes I’m not, and as eager as anyone to debate life with my grandkids and kids 

And of course I’m wrong , I’m not up too speed 

But I see them falter, a glimmer maybe that they are not completely right 

A new experience , with an older grandma 

Who for the most shared in raising the older ones 

And down the years beyond 

As Amy says “ it’s the law you eat at grandmas “

Because that’s exactly what she wants to do 

And I’ll never know her the way I knew the “ originals “

But I’ll feed her and the others the special meals they like

Because I can 

Sandra


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## aldra (Jul 2, 2009)

Well an update

If you don’t like it don’t read it 

You are not obliged too 

Megs has moved out, the end of an era , she’s renting in south Manchester , working in a law firm in medical law 

Our son is in the process of buying a house locally following his soon to be divorce 

At present he lives in south Manchester 

Meanwhile whenever his working hours permit he and his daughter stay here

She also stays when our ex d in law needs a break 

Our Izzy is adopted , alcohol damaged at birth and can be a bit of a handful

But she’s ours , and responds differently to us than her parents 

Our oldest grandson with our help is buying a house with his friend 

He will live with us when his rented lease comes to an end for a few weeks , until the house is finalised 

Young Albert is here everyday , and in his time outside colledge works along side Albert, he’s strong and works as a labourer and earns the money he needs 

So this remains a busy house

More so because we are redoing the open fireplace to have a wood burning stove 

Much more effort than we envisaged 

So as yet we don’t have time to die 

Sandra


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## jiwawa (Jun 22, 2007)

aldra said:


> ....So as yet we don't have time to die
> 
> Sandra


Join the club Sandra!!


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## patp (Apr 30, 2007)

Latest research shows that "not having time to die" is the best medicine


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## HermanHymer (Dec 5, 2008)

Me three, I have tax returns to do, 14 curtain linings to make, 'hundreds' of curtains to rehang, arrange painting the rest of the house inside, find the money to do so, finish 'editing' my friend's quilt, complete a group quilting assignment, write some stuff for CANSA, shampoo my lounge suite, ... and more, but I won't bore you.

Just saying, my newly painted living area is looking brilliant - subtle sand, and milky coffee feature walls. Had 'English' country cottage yellow before but now it looks fresher and more modern. Have to stick it out with the old curtains - would be expensive to replace so many big windows - 14 full length drops plus 3 blinds on the mezzanine.

Oh yes and when I finish with those curtains I have another 3 windows' worth to wash and rehang in my spare bedroom, then get started on my bedroom. The linings are hanging in shreds and need URGENT tlc. Sun just beats the life out of them. A woman's work is never done!:wink2:

This month I got a huge water bill so set about checking flushes with meter readings, dishwasher consumption, shower consumption. Meter not showing leakage, but is the meter accurate??? So did an audit - water in/water out of washing machine this morning. That looks fine. But used 400L one night. Someone filling their swimming pool from my garden tap?? Sounds unlikely but there's nowt as strange as folk! Put a lock on the tap this afternoon and will check reading tomorrow!


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## JanHank (Mar 29, 2015)

HermanHymer said:


> Me three, I have tax returns to do, 14 curtain linings to make, 'hundreds' of curtains to rehang, arrange painting the rest of the house inside, find the money to do so, finish 'editing' my friend's quilt, complete a group quilting assignment, write some stuff for CANSA, shampoo my lounge suite, ... and more, but I won't bore you.
> 
> Just saying, my newly painted living area is looking brilliant - subtle sand, and milky coffee feature walls. Had 'English' country cottage yellow before but now it looks fresher and more modern. Have to stick it out with the old curtains - would be expensive to replace so many big windows - 14 full length drops plus 3 blinds on the mezzanine.
> 
> Oh yes and when I finish with those curtains I have another 3 windows' worth to wash and rehang in my spare bedroom, then get started on my bedroom. The linings are hanging in shreds and need URGENT tlc. *Sun just beats the life out of them*.


Don't use cotton, our curtains are 12 years old, the sun hasn't even faded the satin type lining, cotton would have been striped by now.


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## aldra (Jul 2, 2009)

Love it Viv

My house is in need of an upgrade 

We’ve started with the main lounge,replacing the open fire with a wood burning stove 

Demolished the huge fire place, although keeping some of the dimensions 

It will still be an inglenook

Then reflooring the lounge in oak , it will be beautiful 

If I’m honest I no longer feel that excitement for something new

A bit put off with the mess 

I’m getting old 

And I keep thinking we are doing all this for the next person to buy our house 

Still the on suite is next

A walk-in shower 

And so on 

But my garden will soon be in bloom, the daffodils are pusshing through 

It’s familiar , the fish wil jump

Am I sad Viv ?

Sandra


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## patp (Apr 30, 2007)

Blimey Viv, how many windows do you have? Who cleans them all? 
It is one of my next jobs, after choosing the paint shades for the whole house, to choose the curtains to go with them? Might just chicken out and go for neutrals everywhere. Like you, Sandra, I can't get nearly as excited as I used to about new decorations.


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## HermanHymer (Dec 5, 2008)

Almost as many as a greenhouse. No wall space to hang any pics. But I designed the house so I only have myself to blame. I love being able to look out. When I eventually get everything done, I'll post some pics. 

Yesterday, while busy in the laundry monitoring the washing machine, a troop of (vervet) monkeys came into the lounge, mostly Mums and babies. Normally they scarper off with any food they can get their hands on. (They even know that food comes in plastic boxes!) To my surprise they didn't spot the banana in the fruit bowl on the dining room table. We had to chase them out as they cannot be allowed to 'feel at ease' otherwise they can make a real pest of themselves, break and steal things, and poop/pee if they get scared. Every day they come by on their foraging trip, a troop of about 60. They are so clever, they know who leaves food lying about. My neighbour is inclined to leave one of her windows open for her cat to go in and out. They are up her stairs like jack flash. On one occasion they stole a loaf of sliced bread and one monkey, sitting on the garden wall was dishing it out one slice to each monkey. Another had found a packet of biscuits and was desperately trying to get it open. My other friend with the cat/window habit found all her plastic boxes scattered all over the golf course, and her stash of plastic bags which were in box were blowing all over the place. 

We're also regularly visited by a peahen, storks, hadedas, guinea fowl who come and tap on the glass door, (they're so protective of their chicks and we always count them. Sadly they are prey for animal and other bird predators. There are small buck, owls and bats, frogs, geckos and lizards. Despite trying I have never managed to get any decent photos of all this animal life. It's not easy, they won't stand still!


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## raynipper (Aug 4, 2008)

Makes the odd visitor dropping in to borrow a ladder and staying for lunch a doddle Viv.

Ray.


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## HermanHymer (Dec 5, 2008)

We're big into the natural environment here. On the estate, which is a conservation area, there is also a herd of 9 impala.


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## HermanHymer (Dec 5, 2008)

A better pic.


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## patp (Apr 30, 2007)

Wow Viv! What a picture you paint. We thought we were lucky living in rural England and catching the odd glimpse of a heron or a fox! We do have a pair of resident moorhens on our pond. They produced about for broods last year, a record for them. Most of them survived too  We had a visiting stoat that tried to reduce the numbers but he fell foul of the nearby road.


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## raynipper (Aug 4, 2008)

Nearly as good as rural Normandy with deer, wild boar, rabbits and hairs, pheasants and other game. But I guess with less rain.

Ray.


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## HermanHymer (Dec 5, 2008)

Yes, I guess there's less rain although we are in quite a rainy part of the country. In the summer it rains about 4 or 5 days out of 7, usually in the afternoon, but at least its warm rain. Occasionally we do have 'English weather' when it rains all day. We're in a mist belt too so we often have a white-out mornings, evenings or during the night. It's 30km inland so we don't have to suffer the unbearable coastal hot/humid combo, nor the howling sea breezes. Winters can be quite cold when the cold fronts sweep across the lower part of the continent. Its strange but here 14 degrees feels positively (ant)arctic!


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## HermanHymer (Dec 5, 2008)

raynipper said:


> Nearly as good as rural Normandy with deer, wild boar, rabbits and hairs, pheasants and other game. But I guess with less rain.
> 
> Ray.


Except here you're not allowed to do the French thing and put them in the pot!:serious:


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## HermanHymer (Dec 5, 2008)

We feel a bit English rural. Don't know if you can see in the background the houses are all (mock) Tudor. My house is in another village at 9 o'clock to these ones.


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