# Just one more for sugarplum



## johnsandywhite (May 9, 2005)

:lol: Just one more for *sugarplum* :lol:

It is important for men to remember, that as women grow older it becomes harder for them to maintain the same quality of housekeeping as when they were younger. When you notice this, try not to yell at them. Some are oversensitive and there ain't nothing worse then an oversensitive woman.

My name is, Paul... Let me relate how I handled the situation with my wife, Sue. When I was laid off from my supervisors job and took "early retirement" in April, it became necessary for Sue to get 
a full-time job, both for extra income and for the health benefits 
that we needed. Shortly after she started working I noticed she was beginning to show her age. I usually get home from the Golf Course about the same time she gets home from work. Although she knows how hungry I am, she almost always says she has to rest for half an hour or so before she starts dinner. I don't yell at her. Instead, I tell her to take her time and just wake me when she gets dinner on the table.

I generally have lunch in the Men's Grill at the club so eating out is not reasonable. I'm ready for some home cooked grub when I hit 
that door...

She used to do the dishes as soon as we finished eating. But now, it's not unusual for them to sit on the table for several hours after dinner. I do what I can by diplomatically reminding her several times each evening that they won't clean themselves. I know she appreciates this, as it does seem to motivate her to get them done before she goes to bed.

I really think my old business as a supervisor helps a lot. I consider telling people what they ought to do one of my strong 
points...

And speaking of bed, her age really shows up there. I go out and golf all day, come in dead tired and after a two hour nap and a good meal, I'm ready, if you know what I mean. Age has gotten her so bad that she actually dozes off during lovemaking. But that's okay. Her satisfaction in that area is important to a sensitive guy like me and if she enjoys sleeping during our little trysts, what the hey...

Now that she has gotten older, she does seem to get tired so much more quickly. Our washer and dryer are in the basement. Sometimes she says she just can't make another trip down those steps. I don't make a big issue of this; as she finishes up the laundry the next evening, I'm willing to overlook it. Not only that, but unless I need something ironed to wear to the Monday lodge meeting, or to Wednesday's or Saturday's poker club, or to Tuesday's or Thursday's bowling, or something like that, I will tell her to wait until the next evening to do the ironing. This gives her a little more time to do some of those odds and ends like shampooing the dog, vacuuming or dusting...

Also, if I had a really good day on the course and it was wet and muddy my clubs are a mess, so I let her clean them, you know..... get the grit off the grips and a little light Brillo on the club faces at a casual pace. My golf bag is heavy so I lift it out of the trunk for her. Women are delicate, have weak wrists and can't lift heavy stuff as good as men. But I did tell her I don't like to be wakened during my after golf nap, so rather then bother me, she can put them back in the trunk when she's finished.

Another symptom of aging is complaining, I think. For example, she will say that it is difficult for her to find time to pay the monthly bills during her lunch hour. But boys, we take em for better or worse, so I just smile and offer encouragement. I tell her to stretch it out over two or even three days. That way she won't have to rush so much.

I also remind her that missing lunch completely now and then wouldn't hurt her any (if you know what I mean). I like to think tact is one of my strong points.

When doing simple jobs, she seems to think she needs more rest periods. She had to take a break when she was only half finished 
mowing the yard. I try not to make a scene. I'm a fair man. I tell 
her to fix herself a nice, big, cold glass of freshly squeezed lemonade and just sit for a while. And, as long as she is making one for herself, she may as well make one for me too, then take her break by my hammock.

That way she can talk with me until I fall asleep.

I know that I probably look like a saint in the way I support Sue. I'm not saying that showing this much consideration is easy. Many men will find it difficult. Some will find it impossible! Nobody knows 
better than I do, how frustrating women get as they get older.

However, guys, even if you just use a little more tact and less criticism of your aging wife because of this article, I will consider that writing it was well worthwhile. After all, we are put on this earth to help each other...

Paul

EDITOR'S NOTE: Paul died suddenly Thursday, June 3. He was found with a Calloway extra long 50 inch Big Bertha Driver rammed 
up his rectum with only 2 inches of grip showing.

His wife Sue was arrested, but the Grand Jury accepted her defense that he accidentally sat on it. She was released on Friday, June 4.


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## 89499 (May 25, 2005)

absolutely brilliant :lol: :lol: :blueflowerface: 

that has got to be the last word!!!!................ 

have a big smile on my face all night now :lol: :BIG: ..................

thanks for the laughs guys.....off to do some cooking now for him indoors!!! :violent2:


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## 96097 (Aug 22, 2005)

Brilliant John.
Get ready for more man jokes though!!

Sharon

:evilbat:


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## 89499 (May 25, 2005)

Hi....I'm back..........................


What Guys Really Mean

"I'm going fishing." ("I'm going to drink a lot and stand by a stream with a stick in my hand while the fish swim by in complete safety.") 

"It's a guy thing." ("There is no rational thought pattern connected with it, and you have no chance at all of making it logical.") 

Can I help with dinner?" ("Why isn't it already on the table?") 

"Uh huh," "Sure," or "Yes, dear." (Absolutely nothing. It's a conditioned response. He hasn't heard a single word.) 

"It would take too long to explain." ("I have no idea how it works.") 

"I'm getting more exercise lately." ("The batteries in the remote are dead.") 

"We're going to be late." ("Now I have a legitimate excuse to drive like a maniac.") 

"Take a break, honey, you're working too hard." ("I can't hear the game over the vacuum cleaner.") 

"That's interesting, dear." ("Are you still talking?") 

"Honey, we don't need material things to prove our love." ("I forgot our anniversary again.") 

"That's women's work." ("It's difficult, dirty, and thankless.") 

"You know how bad my memory is." ("I remember the theme song to 'Gilligan's Island', the address of the first girl I ever kissed and the Vehicle Identification Numbers of every car I've ever owned, but I forgot your birthday.") 

"Oh, don't fuss. I just cut myself, it's no big deal." ("I have severed a limb, but will bleed to death before I admit I'm hurt.") 

"I do help around the house." ("I once put a dirty towel in the laundry basket.") 

"Hey, I've got my reasons for what I'm doing." ("I sure hope I think of some reasons pretty soon.") 

"I can't find it." ("It didn't fall into my outstretched hands, so I'm completely clueless.") 

"What did I do this time?" ("What did you catch me doing?") 

"I heard you." ("I haven't the foggiest clue what you just said, and am hoping desperately that I can fake it well enough so that you don't spend the next 3 days yelling at me.") 

"You look terrific." ("Oh, please don't try on one more outfit. I'm starving, just wear whatever that is and let's go!") 

"I missed you." ("I can't find my sock drawer, the kids are hungry, and we're out of toilet paper.") 

"I'm not lost. I know exactly where we are." ("I'm lost. I have no idea where we are, and no one will ever see us alive again, but I'll be damned if I admit that.") 

"We share the housework." ("I make the messes, you clean them up.") 

"This relationship is getting too serious." ("You're cutting into the time I spend with my truck.") 

"I don't need to read the instructions." ("I am perfectly capable of screwing it up without printed help.") 



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## 89499 (May 25, 2005)

[*U]How to Impress a Woman[/U*]

Compliment her, respect her, honour her, cuddle her, kiss her, caress her, love her, stroke her, tease her, comfort her, protect her, hug her, hold her, spend money on her, wine and dine her, buy things for her, listen to her, care for her, stand by her, support her, hold her, go to the ends of the Earth for her.

[*U]How to Impress a Man[/U]*

Show up naked. Bring beer.


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## 89499 (May 25, 2005)

Suzy's Fairy Tale

Once upon a time a beautiful young princess went for a walk in the forest. She strolled the paths enjoying the flowers, birds, and animals. Eventually, she came to a stream where she sat on a log listening to the gentle burbling of the brook. Suddenly, she heard a voice and, looking beside her on the log, she saw a large frog. "Yes, it's me," said the frog. "Like you, I was roaming the forest a few weeks ago, communing with nature. But I inadvertently offended the evil witch who haunts these woods, and she turned me into the wretch you now see before you. However, all is not lost. If you would but kiss me, I'll turn back into a handsome prince. Then we can get married, you can cook my meals, wash my clothes, have a bunch of kids, and live happily ever after."

Later that evening, as the princess was dining on frog legs battered in spiced breadcrumbs and lightly sautéed in a delicate wine sauce, she smiled and thought to herself, "I don't f****** think so."


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## johnsandywhite (May 9, 2005)

*Letter from a Lady?*

 Letter from a Lady?


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## Drummer (May 9, 2005)

Brilliant! :lol:


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## Scotjimland (May 23, 2005)

She seems very accommodating :lol: :lol: :lol:


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