# English as she is spake



## Pudsey_Bear (Sep 25, 2008)

My general English isn't too bad for a native, but I was rarely at school, I didn't like it so I didn't go, and have the sore arse to prove it, I never took any tests at school either so zero qualifications, so the more academic portions of grammar are not welded in there, I can do Nouns, but beyond that, I'm stumped, verbs n adverbs etc, bleh bleh bleh dunno, not a clue. BUT they apostropheys do my head in speshly possessive, 's or not 's I go with not as I don't see the need.

anyway I thought I'd take a look, clear as mud.

http://www.sussex.ac.uk/informatics/punctuation/apostrophe/possessives


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## raynipper (Aug 4, 2008)

Ahhhhhh that explains a lot Kev.

Ray.


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## Pudsey_Bear (Sep 25, 2008)

I knew YOU would understand, you git.


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## MrWez (Sep 25, 2011)

Aah, I remember seeing that, my daughter sent it to me when she was at Sussex because she was irked by my use of apostrophes. I pointed out to her that I was originally from the Isle of Wight (where English is a sort of second language), and that the good old RAF taught me Service Writing which introduces a whole new world of complexity to the English language. We still have good natured banter about it but I know, deep down, she wants to correct every e-mail, Whats-App message or text I send her where I get it wrong.


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## Pudsey_Bear (Sep 25, 2008)

Oh Liz does my head in on spelling and grammar, who cares, I don't. I can either read it or not, some people cannot read or write, they would be grateful for bad spelling and grammar, christ some can't even talk properly.

Try this for dab pelings


Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn’t mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoetnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be at the rghit pclae. The rset can be a toatl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe.


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## raynipper (Aug 4, 2008)

Excuses, excuses. You will be telling us it doesn't matter if we get our sums wrong next. Do you check yer change?

Ray.


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## Penquin (Oct 15, 2007)

Well I have an A Level in English, like what she is wrote and was aware of the basics of the use of the apostrophe but I found that explanation to be more harmful than helpful…..

It’s all to do with its and similar and as for all the family possessions of the Socrates family I feel really unhappy that they are simply disenfranchised and ignored (like most U.K. citizens).

I always blame my mistakes on my poor finger not being able to rush as fast as my brain cell from topic to topic, that’s as good an excuse as I can think of….

One has to remember that, unlike some languages such as French, there are no absolute strict rules, no learned College of BigWigs to criticise and enforce it’s use and thankfully English continually changes and evolves other wise we would all be speaking English like Drake had to do with t’other Elizabeth.

But then as such things as Le Pic Nic, Le Parking and many other Franglais words show, the learned College is about as respected as a nine bob note.

Let the use of the apostrophe evolve; Sussex University can go whistle. 🤔🙃


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## Pudsey_Bear (Sep 25, 2008)

raynipper said:


> Excuses, excuses. You will be telling us it doesn't matter if we get our sums wrong next. Do you check yer change?
> 
> Ray.


Change is as good as a rest, pay it all by card usually, don't like change in my pok.


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## raynipper (Aug 4, 2008)

I do like a few sheckles in the pocket just in case. But I guess things are changing from sticking a coin into a slot to flashing yer smart phone at some post.

Ray.


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## Pudsey_Bear (Sep 25, 2008)

I dont pay with my phone. A card is good enough for me.


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## GMJ (Jun 24, 2014)

The written word is all about communicating so as long as you can understand it, what does it matter? I would hazard a guess that all of us break the so called rules all the time however we still get understood.

I cannot remember much at all about rules of grammar aside from the common sense ones but it hasn't affected me at all in terms of academic progression nor being able to teach.

Where I do get the arse though is when I find typing errors in magazines, newspapers and even the BBC. I expect better of these institutions especially if I have paid for it. The MMM magazine used to be a joke in terms of spelling errors...even some adverts had them. I wrote to the Editor - tongue in cheek - to offer my services as a proof reader once. I never heard back!


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## patp (Apr 30, 2007)

The way I remember the possessive apostrophe is to turn the sentence round into "the pen belonging to John" means that John's pen needs an apostrophe after John. I don't ( do not ) care about it much except in sign writing. I would rather there was no apostrophe at all than it be in the wrong place on a sign.
I used to be a bit more picky about spelling and grammar until I married a dyslexic. To see how his confidence in the written word had been shattered by being called stupid and thick at school was awful. His numerical skills, unlike mine, are second to none but still he has no confidence. Thank god he found a trade where he outshone everyone he ever worked with or for which gave him some pride.


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## Pudsey_Bear (Sep 25, 2008)

As a race we really are not designed to get on with each other are we?


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## erneboy (Feb 8, 2007)

2

No, apostrophes are-nt necessary, but if you do away with them, then in some situations you-re going to have to introduce other punctuation to disambiguate. There-s really no getting around that. I-d say the best bet is the hyphen, which-ll look immediately familiar if you happen to know some Romanian.

Wo-nt, do-nt, would-nt, are-nt, etc. have no real need for punctuation, but it does aid readability and makes the pronunciation more apparent-although [duənt] is-nt the commonest pronunciation of do-nt, so that one could be misleading. The contractions of would, will, are, is, has, and have would take a hyphen as well:

I-d like that.
I-ll do it.
You-re beautiful.
He-s just this guy, y-know?
She-s got the plague.
I could-ve died!

Useful for possession too.


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## raynipper (Aug 4, 2008)

My wife makes the same spelling mistakes time after time and no amount of telling or explaining changes anything. But she is from Norfolk.0

Ray.


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## Penquin (Oct 15, 2007)

erneboy said:


> 2
> 
> No, apostrophes are-nt necessary, but if you do away with them, then in some situations you-re going to have to introduce other punctuation to disambiguate. There-s really no getting around that. I-d say the best bet is the hyphen, which-ll look immediately familiar if you happen to know some Romanian.
> 
> ...


Yuk 🧐


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## Pudsey_Bear (Sep 25, 2008)

Awful.


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## Pudsey_Bear (Sep 25, 2008)

The title of this comes from a friend as that is what he always said when he was reading foreign translated technical manuals.


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## GMJ (Jun 24, 2014)

Pudsey_Bear said:


> As a race we really are not designed to get on with each other are we?


I think that's just you Kev...


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## Pudsey_Bear (Sep 25, 2008)

Graham.



Come again when you have less time...


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## Matchlock (Jun 26, 2010)

I am always getting my wucking murds fuddled, maybe I suffer from this dicklexia thing?


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## Pudsey_Bear (Sep 25, 2008)

Yes!!!


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## greygit (Apr 15, 2007)

I am dyslexic so I don't give a f**k about punctuation.:smile2:


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## raynipper (Aug 4, 2008)

I'm too old and with not much time left it's the least thing on my agenda.

Ray.


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## Pudsey_Bear (Sep 25, 2008)

I was taught it at skool, but not very good at it, my spelung is ko most of the time unless I come across a rarely used worm.


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## patp (Apr 30, 2007)

I struggle with spelling anything, now, with double letters for some reason. It is ok if it is a word that I type regularly but any unusual, to me, words I often have to resort to spell checker.


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## Pudsey_Bear (Sep 25, 2008)

I just Grammarly Pat, mainly because my hunt and pack is sometimes inaccurate and this picks it up, I get letters the wrong way around a lot, it can be set to English UK but is not perfick, it just helps to spot my hen ups.

Google chrome too has a smell chucker too.

How Do I Enable Spell Check for Google Chrome?
Go to Settings.
Scroll all the way down and click on Advanced Settings.
Under Privacy, find out "Use a web service to help resolve spelling errors".
Turn on the feature by tapping on the slider. The slider will turn blue when the spelling checker is turned on.

https://app.grammarly.com/?network=...arch-ad-ext&utm_medium=cpc&utm_term=grammarly


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## patp (Apr 30, 2007)

I get a little red line that the teacher draws under it when I got it rong.


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## Pudsey_Bear (Sep 25, 2008)

Yeah googles is wavy, Grammarly is solid.


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