# Pussers Binton Rally Report Part 2



## Pusser (May 9, 2005)

{Stuff in these brackets edited due to stupid errors}

…and so, after three and a half hours to do a mere 60 mile journey we finally pulled into the field next to the Binton Social Club and there M'LadyJ and her husband confirmed this indeed was the place where the Binton Rally 2006 was being held.

I was immediately made to feel welcome and M'LadyJ chaperoned me to my allocated hard standing between two mighty A class beasts where the Pussbus took on Dinky like proportions.

I was directed to reverse into my allocated place and just as I checked my mirrors, a body rushed out the A class next to me, jumped into his car and drove off like the clappers I think to Stratford Town Centre fearful I suspect that his hard earned no claim bonus was about to expire had it been left in the path of the Pussbus. Stratford Town Centre was, I presume, considered far enough away to avoid any collateral damage.

I bounded, nay, got out the van and wandered over to meet and greet the real life avatars and it was just like meeting valued family members who you haven't seen for many years. A great moment.

Please excuse if I do not use names because although I obviously know and remember some names, many names of lovely people I have forgotten already and they were as equally important to me as those I do remember.

Heather was suffering a migraine which I know was part if not totally caused by our three and a half hour journey and she was already getting over a nasty bug so she had a lay down to see if she could get rid of the headache.

The site was so quiet you could hear a pin drop and as I stood over the Porta Pottie for a wee, it sounded like the roll of a thousand drums.

"Can you hear anything from where you are Heather?" I shouted.

"What. You having a wee?"

Jesus. I just knew the whole rally could hear me going and stopped abruptly changing to measured jets which sounded more like a water pump without water but magnified a thousand times.

Having got this far I gave up and let loose conditioning myself to seeing a crowd of hysterical members outside the Pussbus singing, "We know what you're dooooiiinnnnng. We know what you're dooooiiiinnnnggg".

I thank God that at least I don't have a phobia about weeing.

While Heather lay sleeping her headache away I walked up to see Motorhomesimpon and saw the lovely family he has and admired his new Sloop. Had it been mine I suspect it would be named "Poop Sloop" but I think MHS will rise above this and choose something more in keeping with such a smart motor home. Of course, I was disappointed that Gerald had not come to the rally particularly as he could have been easily squeezed in between a lovely wife and two lovely {children} and plenty of room for his head to stick out a vent or something on the roof.

I did just love the great big bendy poles that many motor homes had with a vast selection of flags and many at night had twinky lights giving a carnival atmosphere to the whole proceedings.

At about 18:30 o'clock we headed towards the club house for the Halloween contests and Quiz night. Each step of the way, witches, pumpkins and Nightmare on Elmstreet figures appeared from out the dark looking very authentic. So authentic that I wished I had brought an extra pair of underpants with me.

As we neared the clubhouse {Eddie the Eagle, famous for being the only skiier that entered the Olympics without ever having any lessons in skiing}, shouted out "Hi Gloria", and having looked about, I assumed he was talking to someone else but as the night grew I was reminded of why I went to prison for an hour. It did bring back memories of voices calling out from dark alleyways, "Hello sailor" though.

I chose the table right outside the Gents. Some would say I chose the table right by the Ladies but I find if I need to use it then I don't have to parade through the throngs to get to it and simply slip in quietly and then slip out quietly. This proved so effective that when I went out side for a *** Motorhomesimpson thought I was still in there and went into check to see if I was OK. I don't know who was in the locked cubicle but he was probably somewhat confused as to why someone outside was calling him Pusser and asking him if he was OK when all he wanted was a quiet poo. But this does show the level of care and concern bestowed on me by several members for which I am indeed grateful and there was even more of this kindness to come.

{SteveT} and his lovely wife and myself and my lovely wife were asked to judge the children's Halloween parade and afterwards the adult parade.

I must say it was so very difficult to choose. So much effort had been given to turning out some really super costumes it seemed cruel to only extract one winner but I was comforted by the news that all the children would get prizes whether they win or not. It probably saved my tyres from being slashed on my return. That was a joke because all the children were absolute dreams and their behaviour was a credit to their parents, surprisingly, as most of the parents were ghouls or witches

Personally, I was torn between a lovely little {boy} in an orange pumpkin and the hairy spider and in the end it was a unanimous verdict for the spider and he won his very own web site. I tell a porky, because I cannot remember what the prize was.

Time for the adult Halloween Parade. The parade looked to me like a tea break during filming of a Hammer Horror film. Superb costumes ranging from a dubious, to say the least priest, a few Horseman of the Apocalypse look a likes, (One wearing the topical and currently in vogue must have Hijab). An A&E nurse covered in claret which left one with the feeling that there was a patient somewhere in dire need of a blood transfusion, some mad monks and a couple of Ferrymen that hadn't been paid for some time.

From this almost impossible task we needed to select best female and best male costume and it was not that easy to know which was witch and which was wizard but in the end the lady who looked everything that a Halloween witch, including broomstick accessories, should look like, won fair and square.

The male was a more difficult one to choose from but in the end the priest looked evil enough and real enough and sinister enough to walk away with a prize which I think may have been some communion wine but no biscuits.

Then came the quiz which I was dreading. I knew what I would like to say but realised there was no chance the words ever coming out my mouth in such a manner that they made sense or even could be heard above the background buzz. But I am lucky that Glossophobia is not a phobia I suffer from.

DABS came to the rescue for which I am forever grateful and took over the answers session. He did this is such a professional manner that I am so glad I did not even attempt doing it and he made the quiz section of the night a hundred times better than it would have been although I think the questions were a bit too hard and if I do it again, having met everyone, it will be based on frivolous and silly questions. I do remember that Kands won the competition with 10.5 points out of a possible 20. There was a second prize, decided with a tie breaker but I am sorry but I don't remember who won that.

One correction I would make to the quiz is that DABS was reading what I had typed in and there were a few notes of explanation but not full notes. Thus the "Which European City has the most canals in terms of mileage" was of course Birmingham but the figures underneath I had typed referred to 26 miles of canals in Venice to 36 miles in Birmingham. For those interested, the 26 miles in Venice also includes canals outside the city.

I then had a big surprise. Such a surprise that I forgot who gave it me but I think it was {clianthus (Jen) rally secretary}. It is a brilliant and a most thoughtful prize and it is here beside me waiting to be opened and used.

The picture below I think is readable and almost self explanatory but just in case it is not obvious, it is a kit for making moulds of your body parts.










This is the first present I have ever had that requires you to get excited before you even open the box and use the contents. Absolutely chuffed to bits with it and thank you so much to each and everyone who all contributed to a fantastic day for Heather and myself.

{Stuff in these curly whirly brackets have been edited because I made some mistakes which MHS kindly pointed out to me.} I think perhaps in future, I need a proof reader. 8O


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## geraldandannie (Jun 4, 2006)

:lol: :lol: An excellent second part, if I may say so. Very funny, as always.



Pusser said:


> Of course, I was disappointed that Gerald had not come to the rally particularly as he could have been easily squeezed in between a lovely wife and two lovely daughters and plenty of room for his head to stick out a vent or something on the roof.


Huh? Am I missing something here? Are there two of us?

>>> Pusser, Keith and a mystery person <<<

Gerald


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## Pusser (May 9, 2005)

gerannpasa said:


> :lol: :lol: An excellent second part, if I may say so. Very funny, as always.
> 
> 
> 
> ...


Sorry Gerald.  I was referring to Motorhomesimpsons avatar Gerald who is a giraffe. The giraffe has a long neck and has spots on and didn't appear in the pic you mentioned of the THREE AMIGOS. What a team that would have been. 

ALso, I'm not too sure whether MHS would like you to be squeezed between his wife and daughter.


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## annej (May 27, 2005)

Excellent :lol: 

Like you, I was looking forward to meeting Gerald :lol: Was most disappointed that MHS didn't bring him along. I think it's because he couldn't source the giant pooh bags :lol: 

Anne


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## Pusser (May 9, 2005)

annej said:


> Excellent :lol:
> 
> Like you, I was looking forward to meeting Gerald :lol: Was most disappointed that MHS didn't bring him along. I think it's because he couldn't source the giant pooh bags :lol:
> 
> Anne


   Good point indeed. I don't know about giant poo bags but a skip would be handy on an A frame.


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## geraldandannie (Jun 4, 2006)

Pusser said:


> I was referring to Motorhomesimpsons avatar Gerald who is a giraffe.


Ah. My mistake :roll:



Pusser said:


> ALso, I'm not too sure whether MHS would like you to be squeezed between his wife and daughters.


I'm quite sure you're right 

Gerald


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## Motorhomersimpson (May 9, 2005)

Gerald..the real Gerald that is, a long time ago when I put my giraffe on pusser decided his name should be Gerald and it has stuck since, I can understand you're confusion but you have laugh, or at least I do :lol:

Pusser excellent as always :lol:

I have been on and on to my *son* :lol: to get his hair cut (I'm letting him grow out of it, the fad that is, having long hair :lol: ), easy mistake as you only glimpsed my two children when the door of the van opened...and you're not the first to make that mistake :lol: kids and long hair I'm only jealous really.

MHS..Rob


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## annej (May 27, 2005)

kids and long hair I'm only jealous really. 

Surely you can't be serious Rob :lol: :lol: :lol: 

Anne


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## Motorhomersimpson (May 9, 2005)

Hi Anne

I am serious and don't call me Shirley :wink: 

MHS…Rob


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## clianthus (Jul 8, 2006)

Part 2 just as good as Part 1 definitely worth waiting for. :lol: 

Perhaps we can look forward to a Pussers Report on you using your gift :wink:


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## 94055 (May 1, 2005)

Rob, Could you please open the door more often



> as you only glimpsed my two children when the door of the van opened


Your children may like to venture outside at some time :lol: Sorry I missed meeting them and getting a look at your M/H. Maybe next time?

Pusser, Sorry for going off topic. 
You are .......................................................sorry stuck for words.

What a pleasure to read your accounts of the Binton Rally. What a pleasure to have had a brief discussion with you. I am honoured to have been in your precence even if for such a short time. I look forward to your postings and have never failed to have a chuckle. Keep up the good work.
Sir Pusser :wink: 
You have been nighted the *ROYAL* tea bag sorter, sorter of the finest Tea bags known to Man. (Or woman)

I hope Heather is feeling better.

Look forward to meeting you again and possibly spending more time speaking to you.

Steve


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## Snelly (Aug 20, 2005)

Pusser said:


> Personally, I was torn between a lovely little girl in an orange pumpkin and the hairy spider.


The lovely little girl dressed as a pumpkin would be my Jacob... the daughter I never had... :lol:

and the spider is my Matthew... gob on legs.

Costumes are a testament to Sally's sewing prowess... of which many of you have seen the results in the form of our new upolstery.


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## annej (May 27, 2005)

clianthus said:


> Part 2 just as good as Part 1 definitely worth waiting for. :lol:
> 
> Perhaps we can look forward to a Pussers Report on you using your gift :wink:


Oh please, no 8O Can you imagine the scene at A&E :lol:

On second thoughts :lol: :lol: :lol:

Anne


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## Motorhomersimpson (May 9, 2005)

Annej said:


> Oh please, no 8O Can you imagine the scene at A&E :lol: Anne


Surely you can't be serious Anne :lol: :lol:

MHS...Rob


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## annej (May 27, 2005)

There is a very good chance that outcome of Pussers gift and subsequent visit to A&E would have us all calling him Gloria 8O and I don't think he would really want that :lol: 

Don't do it Pusser  

And don't call me Shirley, I let you off with it once :lol: 

Anne


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## Pusser (May 9, 2005)

Snelly said:


> Pusser said:
> 
> 
> > Personally, I was torn between a lovely little girl in an orange pumpkin and the hairy spider.
> ...


I am so sorry I got mixed up again. I am also sorry I didn't have a chat with you. I kept looking at you because a bell was ringing that I did know you probably from pics in the photo album but was too embarrased to come up and ask who you were.

Your little boy followed me up the road to the club house and he was an absolute picture in his pumpkin. Only afterwards I kicked myself for not taking a pic at the time.

Definately next time we meet a long chat is in order.


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## Pusser (May 9, 2005)

clianthus said:


> Part 2 just as good as Part 1 definitely worth waiting for. :lol:
> 
> Perhaps we can look forward to a Pussers Report on you using your gift :wink:


Many thanks indeed for pressy and I think there just has to be a report on the successes and\or failures of this experiment. I have been reading the instructions and although the process is carried out in approx 2 minutes, I may have to source some Viagra to avoid shrinkage issues. 8O


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## Pusser (May 9, 2005)

stevercar said:


> Rob, Could you please open the door more often
> 
> 
> 
> ...


Yes it was great meeting you and look forward to repeating perhaps with a little bit more time and a bottle of something. Did you ever get the genny to work again? It certainly wasn't from lack of trying.


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