# Pussers Report Part 2



## Pusser (May 9, 2005)

Part 2 L'Argentière Camp site - Cogolin near St. Tropez

We finally arrived at destination. L'Argentière Camp site link - .

Click on this line for campsite webpage

And pictures here…

Click on this line for pictures of campsite and others

We have been here before in a car with friends and stayed in a mobile chalet. We love this site as it is not inundated with Keycampers, Eurocampers or any other company campers and therefore is quiet, peaceful and always spotlessly clean. The motor home pitches are my favourite type and Barry and Sues too, which is absolutely flat grass with loads of different types of trees for shade and up to 10 amp hook-ups. Also, a mere 50 yards from a truly excellent pool. Many pictures are available in Pussers Nest. (somewhere). You camp in a position of your own choosing and of course in season there are the usual facilities of a small shop, restaurant and bar, public telephone boxes, table tennis, tennis courts and a few parky things for small children.

The Boss has impressed me as he is the type of boss that actually works hard all day rather than the type that rolls up in a Mercedes, gives a couple of instructions and then buggers off. The Senior Administrator (I think) whose name is Cathy is indeed most helpful and speaks excellent French and in all months except July and August discounts will be given to MHF members with stickers or pennants. Phillip is the man to see if you have a technical issue and although he swears he cannot speak English, he somehow nearly always understands what you say to him and in most cases his assistance is instant.

And so we parked Two Loos La Trek and I went to do the elec hook-up only to find I had brought the Spanish adaptor and not the French adaptor. Phillip resolved this instantly and loaned me one.

Out came our awning, a ground sheet was laid and outside table and chairs sited. We were ready for the major part of our holiday.

First thing was down to the pool and I was heartened to see two topless women there. I was hoping for more as Peter Mandelson who I cannot stand at all has done one thing useful in his miserable, deceitful and dishonest life and that is to prohibit bras into the EEC. Therefore I shall probably vote for him next time round the weedy little toe rag.

I people watch. I like watching people rather than talking to them mainly because by watching them you then do not need to know anymore about them as everything has been said in their mannerisms.

I have divided men into sections.

Walrus Man.
Steroid Man
Mr. Muscle Man.

These are further sub divided as follows. Please note I am not dividing women into sections because I shall get moderated.

Walrus Man - A Class - Fit and Fat
B Class - Fit, Fat and Thick
C Class - Fat and Thick

Steroid Man - A Class - Fit and Muscular
B Class - Fit, Muscular and Thick
C Class - Thinks he is fit, thinks he is muscular and thinks he is intelligent.

Mr. Muscle A Class - Fit and Thin
B Class - Fit, Thin and Thick
C Class - Thin and Thick

But today we had Walrus Man Class B and I am not really sure whether he was French or East European but he laughed at everything he did, laughed at every thing he said and had pinched Tommy Coopers method of laughing.

He was huge; and so was his wife and they had two children; a newborn baby constantly hanging off one of her enormous boobs and a little boy or no more than 2 years of age whose face was continually in happy mode. Even when he got told off his expression did not change. He stayed happy. When he fell over he still stayed happy. It got to the point where I was seriously wondering whether he might have some medical problem. I do hope not as he was adorable.

This little boy ran around the pool with arm rings on and fearlessly leapt into any depth of water even though he was unable to swim a stroke. Tommy Cooper would then go and rescue him, laughing as he did so. But Tommy Coopers party piece was to get hold of this little boy, push him under the water and then suddenly launch him twelve feet in the air, watch him somersault and disappear into the depths of the pool and then shoot out like a cork courtesy of his arm bands. This always provoked a fully blown Tommy Cooper laugh and the little boys face never changed. He still had his smiley face. Each time this happened of course, Tommy Cooper whilst actively laughing at what he had done would look around at everyone in the pool to ensure they too had enjoyed the spectacle of this 2 year old human cannonball and each of us around the pool smiled slightly as we didn't want to get beaten up.

Later on that day and still around the glorious pool in glorious weather I was privileged to watch the mating ritual of the British Teenager. He was I presume around 15 years old and had not taken his eyes off a flock of 4 French girls all from one family I think. Three of them were very pretty while the fourth was probably the rut but in retrospect seemed to ooze charisma and was definitely the one with the brain.

Our boy I hoped was going to do Britain proud as I watched him get off his sun lounger, putting down his Ipod and sunglasses and strolled over to the side of the pool where this bevy of beauties were bathing.

It appeared that he thought merely standing at the side of the pool examining his arms and chest for zits would be sufficient for these girls to throw themselves at him but they bathed on, oblivious to this Greek God standing before them - except possibly the rut.

I could see his brain working, almost reading his mind and I just knew what his next method of attack would be. The Bomb.

He stepped back a few feet and then ran and launched himself at the French girl with the largest breasts and bombed into the water virtually sinking all four girls and the two year old smiley face who was miles away. They had certainly noticed him now.

Three girls were outraged at this immature behaviour and babbled to each other in French as they swam to the ladder and left the pool but the rut stayed there, her hair now plastered all over her face making her look like something out of Sesame Street.
It was now any port in a storm and it appeared that the ugly duckling had a more than satisfactory command of English and they started talking. For the rest of the time we where there, these two became inseparable and she absolutely shone with some inner beauty previously untapped.

The next day we went off to the Supermarket where I purchased two halogen bulbs for 3.5 euros each to replace two dead ones. I don't know how this price stacks up against prices in UK. We also came a bit unstuck at the Supermarket. They will not accept credit cards without a pin number. Signatures are not acceptable anymore. My wife's pin number was god knows where so after creating a queue a mile long behind us at the checkout we reluctantly paid for all our purchases with cash.

We stuck all our newly purchased foodstuffs into the fridge and found out when we went to cook something that the fridge was no longer cold. Panic. But after some thought it was obvious that this phenomenon was caused by putting too much non-cooled stuff in thus making all the other stuff warmer. Remedy, only put already chilled products in the fridge and non-chilled products stick in one at a time to give the fridge a chance. Diesel prices where now above 1 euro a litre @ 1.09e.

Here is a little test for those with a command of French. I went into a bakers shop to buy a baguette and insisted that I do the French bit. My wife tells me the conversation went something like this. See if you can pick out any tiny grammatical errors.

The conversation was directed to the young lady behind the counter early evening.

Pusser: "Bon jour monsieur. Deux resturants s'il vous plait"
Young Girl: "Bon soir monsieur. Nous avons non resturants. Seulement les flutes"
Pusser: "Non flutes - they are too thin."
Young Girl: "Pardon".

I pointed to a loaf I had not seen before…

Pusser: "Sod it. I'll have one of them then."
Young Girl: "Deux?"
Pusser: "Non - just the un'll do"

It's spooky but I am even beginning to think in French. I knew it would come to me eventually.

Darwin discovered many new animals and plants but overlooked this tree which I discovered. It is a Runner Bean tree and from this day forth will be known as Pussers Runner Bean Tree… picture here.

http://www.motorhomefacts.com/modul...oto_Gallery&file=index&include=view_photo.php

I have seen several times a warning sign of Danger - Men Opening Parasols but not once have I seen them doing it.

http://homepage.ntlworld.com/jhills/AK5.gif

We made our pilgrimage to St. Maxime but the traffic was very heavy in and out so we missed visiting our favourite restaurant. Incidentally there is a municipal car park for Motor homes which can be seen to the left as you drive over the semi circular steel bridge coming from a Westerly direction. Not my cup of tea though.

That is it for this section. Next section is the drive home via Lac Du Der near St. Dizier and anything else I have forgotten. Sorry nothing stupid happened to me in this bit but from my point of view it is something of a relief.


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## peejay (May 10, 2005)

Top notch Sir P, 

You deserve an honorary MHF knighthood for services to keeping members brilliantly entertained. :lol: 

Writing it in instalments is a great idea, the mind boggles as to what is gonna happen at 'Lac Du Der'.......

Roll on part 3.....

pete.


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## 89213 (May 16, 2005)

That there 'Runner Bean' tree is a Catalpa
[At this point I inserted a url which won't work, so you'll have to look it up yourselves!]
I have a dead Sumac in my garden which I call a has been tree, no relation to yours though; I think!
John


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## nukeadmin (Oct 10, 2003)

lol Pusser, pure entertainment  keep em coming


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## johnsandywhite (May 9, 2005)

Ditto. Can't wait for part 3. :lol:


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## claypigeon (May 9, 2005)

great stuff Pusser keep it coming

Dave


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## Texas (May 9, 2005)

Marvellous stuff 'Pusser', I'll wager you're keeping the best 'til last...or in other words...going out with a bang!

Texas


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## IrishMike (May 1, 2005)

Brilliant post !
You should consider turning Pro !
The only probelm is I want to be there


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