# Andrex, with the silky softness of shea butter!!!



## Pollydoodle (Aug 18, 2005)

What happened to good old fashioned Bronco :lol: 
:lol:


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## tugboat (Sep 14, 2013)

Was that the stuff made from greaseproof paper?

I remember Izal was like that. Dreadful stuff. As much use as boobs on a fish.


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## Penquin (Oct 15, 2007)

But at least Izal Medicated (whatever that meant :?: ) had a secondary use - it made good tracing paper for those difficult to draw things we had to do for school.....

Try that with Andrex supersoft with Aloe and added labrador and you don't get very far (and that is not just because the puppy has nicked the lot......) :lol:

Dave


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## pippin (Nov 15, 2007)

Perhaps I should put this in Classified Ads but I have a packet of IZAL medicated tracing paper sheets for sale.

Unused - obviously :!: :lol:


PS - What is "shea butter"?


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## Penquin (Oct 15, 2007)

isn't shea butter used when you want something sunni side up?

Sorry I will get my hat - I have probably just been put on a list of Islamic critics now...... watch out for ISIS.....

Dave :lol: 8O :roll: :lol:


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## prof20 (Jan 11, 2007)

Reminds me of this old joke:-

John Wayne Toilet Paper
Previous Next

Back in the days of cowboys and Indians, toilet paper had just been invented. An Indian, unaware of the new invention, was amazed when he saw a cowboy using it out in the woods. Instead of scalping the cowboy, he offers to let him live if he tells the Indian where he can get some toilet paper. And the cowboy told the Indian about a trading post in the middle of the forest.
The next day, the Indian was looking over the different types of toilet paper and asked the clerk how much the “Soft and Gentle” was.“That'd be $2.50,” said the clerk. “Too much,” mumbled the Indian, “how about the 'Gentle'?” “That one's $2,” answered the clerk. “Still too much,” complained the Indian, “anything cheaper?” “Welllll,” replied the clerk, “We do have a generic kind.” “What generic mean?” asked the Indian. “It means it doesn't have a name, and it's only 50 cents.” “Me take that,” said the Indian.
The next day, the Indian returns to the trading post and tells the clerk, “Me have name for generic toilet paper.” “Oh,” says the clerk, “what's the name?” “Me call it John Wayne... it's rough, tough and it take no crap from Indian.”  

R 8O ger


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## Pudsey_Bear (Sep 25, 2008)

Best loo paper we've found so far regardless of price is Nicky from Farm Foods, really cheap, tough yet soft on me old botty, it even breaks down well int Thetford, £2 for 9 I recall.


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## pippin (Nov 15, 2007)

Penquin - for sheer lateral thinking that is brilliant on a sunny day.


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## Pudsey_Bear (Sep 25, 2008)

Penquin said:


> isn't shea butter used when you want something sunni side up?
> 
> Sorry I will get my hat - I have probably just been put on a list of Islamic critics now...... watch out for ISIS.....
> 
> Dave :lol: 8O :roll: :lol:


Don't mention Balsamic vinegar then, I always call it something else.


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## prof20 (Jan 11, 2007)

Don't mention Balsamic vinegar then said:


> Come on......don't stop there! Please enlighten us.
> 
> R  ger


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## Pudsey_Bear (Sep 25, 2008)

prof20 said:


> Don't mention Balsamic vinegar then said:
> 
> 
> > Come on......don't stop there! Please enlighten us.
> ...


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## tugboat (Sep 14, 2013)

Penquin said:


> isn't shea butter used when you want something sunni side up?
> 
> Sorry I will get my hat - I have probably just been put on a list of Islamic critics now...... watch out for ISIS.....
> 
> Dave :lol: 8O :roll: :lol:


Aahhh, shame about Dave. I thought he seemed quite a nice bloke.

One small mistake, and you're gone, just like that. :lol:


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## tugboat (Sep 14, 2013)

Kev_n_Liz said:


> Best loo paper we've found so far regardless of price is Nicky from Farm Foods, really cheap, tough yet soft on me old botty, it even breaks down well int Thetford, £2 for 9 I recall.


Is 'Nicky' short for Nickel Arse? Weird name for loo paper.


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## Zebedee (Oct 3, 2007)

What's wrong with tearing the Radio Times into squares and hanging it on a nail?

Modern softies - it was good enough for me granddad so it'll do for me!

Dave


P.S. Anyone seen my car inner tube - I want to sit down! 8O


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## aldra (Jul 2, 2009)

I just remember

" use the rough side and save the smooth side for the managers"

Aldra


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## prof20 (Jan 11, 2007)

Zebedee said:


> What's wrong with tearing the Radio Times into squares and hanging it on a nail?
> 
> Modern softies - it was good enough for me granddad so it'll do for me!
> 
> ...


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## Zebedee (Oct 3, 2007)

Boring Roger.

At least when we went to the doctor and he said, "_Drop 'em lad_" there was something for him to read! :roll:


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## prof20 (Jan 11, 2007)

I said you were rich. You were lucky you could afford 'owt to drop!

R 8O ger


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## nicholsong (May 26, 2009)

Who is going to do the 'bus ticket' joke????


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## tugboat (Sep 14, 2013)

Who's going to do the 'How to clean yer bum with one piece of paper' joke? Or is it the same one?


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## Pudsey_Bear (Sep 25, 2008)

You have the floor tuggy wuggy.


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## tugboat (Sep 14, 2013)

OK, well what you do is fold the piece of paper in 4 and tear a little piece off the corner so you have a finger sized hole.

Stick yer finger through the hole and scrape all the doodad off yer ring.

Scrunch the paper and slide it off the finger taking all the doodad with it.

Then use the little tear-off to clean under the fingernail.

Job done! :lol:



I will now go and stand in the corner in disgrace for spoiling peoples' late breakfast. :roll:


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## barryd (May 9, 2008)

This thread is a load of old Crap.


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## nicholsong (May 26, 2009)

Same old one - you proably first heard when you were a 'stoker's mate' :lol:


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## Kaytutt (Feb 5, 2013)

you lot have unhealthy obsessions with poo! :roll:


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## nicholsong (May 26, 2009)

Kaytutt said:


> you lot have unhealthy obsessions with poo! :roll:


Unfortunately it is a daily occurrence for most people.

Why cannot we produce foods that have no waste products?  :lol:


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## tugboat (Sep 14, 2013)

nicholsong said:


> Same old one - you proably first heard when you were a 'stoker's mate' :lol:


I'll have you know that I object to the accusation that I might have mated with a stoker. I wouldn't want to get covered in coal dust.


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## 747 (Oct 2, 2009)

I prefer using Dock leaves. There are always plenty about near the hard shoulder of Motorways.

I tend not to do it during rush hour as it can distract drivers and cause an accident. :wink:


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## barryd (May 9, 2008)

> *Kaytutt wrote: *you lot have unhealthy obsessions with poo! :roll:


Bugger. I knew there was something I forgot to do this morning. Back in a bit. Acutally ill take you with me (The laptop I mean)


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## tugboat (Sep 14, 2013)

Make a change for you not to be full of it! :lol:


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## barryd (May 9, 2008)

> *tugboat wrote: *Make a change for you not to be full of it! :lol:


Oooh thats twice you have accused me of being full of it today! Is it because I said you had a 70's Porn Tash in those photos you posted?


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## nicholsong (May 26, 2009)

barryd said:


> > *tugboat wrote: *Make a change for you not to be full of it! :lol:
> 
> 
> Oooh thats twice you have accused me of being full of it today! Is it because I said you had a 70's Porn Tash in those photos you posted?


It is time you two went back to Fruitcakes where you belong :roll: :lol:


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## tugboat (Sep 14, 2013)

It's OK, Geoff, Barry is just trying to drum up some new business for Fruitcakes by hinting at what they're missing. :lol:


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## prof20 (Jan 11, 2007)

You've got to be missing a lot to qualify for Fruitcakes


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## barryd (May 9, 2008)

Sorry. I sometimes forget which forum I am on. 8O 

One of these days Ill post something really silly. :roll:


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