# Well they are gone



## aldra (Jul 2, 2009)

Or will be on Sunday 

Their bathroom isn’t done, their kitchen isn’t done 

But they need to leave 

Because the truth is work expands to fit the time available 

And I feel bad but I know this could go on for ever 

And they need to gather their family and go

And once I lived in a home where I beat the mud floors daily , our only water was drawn from the well

And I had Six kids 

I washed everything by hand 

So I’m holding fast, if I don’t there will be no Christmas here 

Because I’m running out of time to sort it

And I have 5 other children and 9 more grandkids who expect a Christmas here 

Sandra


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## raynipper (Aug 4, 2008)

Run away Sandra, like me.

Ray.


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## patp (Apr 30, 2007)

Stay strong, Sandra.

We moved into our second renovation project on New Years Day. It had one cold tap. No bathroom. It was a single brick construction which meant it was damp and, of course there was no form of heating apart from the fireplace in the front room.

We had no children then but we did have two horses and a dog to care for. Come to think of it that was about the time that my asthma developed. The property was always damp even after Chris built a bathroom and a kitchen, installed central heating and decorated the whole place through. Told me afterwards that he hated the place from the minute we walked in the door, but it had an acre of land for my beloved horses.............

And it led us here.


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## Penquin (Oct 15, 2007)

Always hard knowing when to call "time" we had to do it on one daughter as our power bill went up by 3000€ in a year as they used power like it was going out of fashion.....

The redecorating bill afterwards was also horrible but it was done and we still talk to each other frequently !


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## aldra (Jul 2, 2009)

I recon our power bill will be horrendance

But we can live with that 

I’ve given up on this house

Their stuff remains everywhere 

Shoes, coats, washing , kids , whatever the last bought is just dumped 

The fridge overflowing with half open things that I sealed in boxes 

But no more , it doesn’t remain there

The kids use the new ignore the old 

I’m really knackered , it doesn’t sit easy with me 

I just can no longer cope, I’d rather shut myself in my bedroom and read, ignore the chaos around me

I really tried to organise it but I’m defeated 

I’m no longer 50 

Even stacking the dishwasher every day, clearing the kitchen after 7 , without counting bottles and a crying baby who is only happy held 

Counts as a days work to me 

I’m beginning to feel my age and my rubbish joints 

So yes they need to go and I don’t really care if they haven’t a bathroom or kitchen 

They should have, they have been here three months 

So maybe now they get their asses in gear 

And now I need to face 4 beds, loads of towels which need to washed and dried 

And clean the house.....again 

It’s enough 

Sandra


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## JanHank (Mar 29, 2015)

Why is it kindness almost always gets abused.
I do feel for you Sandra, we have done this twice with people who were not even related, starts off OK, one couple were looking for a place to live and we put them up while they were looking, the other was a young man of 23 from the next village who's parents had separated, he stayed with his Father and finally fell out with him so we said he could live here until he found a flat, he was here for 8 months, but when there is no attempt to find a place and move you no longer feel charitable.

Oh there was a third, my MiL, we found her a lovely little bungalow in sheltered accommodation she was supposed to stay with us for a couple of weeks while carpets were laid and other things were done to the bungalow, took 10 weeks to finally get her to go. :frown2:
I sympathise I really do.


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## aldra (Jul 2, 2009)

But in spite of all

I’ve met my sons partner, her kids , their new baby

Lived with them cheek to jowl for a month , following that they had already demolished my lovely home 
On the two months prior to that 

I recon I’m brilliant , I remain close to my son , his daughter who has basically lived here, his partner, her two kids and their new baby, my born a bit late grandson 

And I recon we’ll see plenty of them all once they leave , I think we are friends 

It could have been worse 

And Archie dissolves into smiles every time he looks at Albert, he’s almost chocking to get out a chuckle 

He has that affect on babies in supermarkets where some mums glare ate him , does he look like an aged
Child molester ? 

But I’ll be so glad to see them go 

Reclaim my home and my sanity 

Sandra


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## raynipper (Aug 4, 2008)

Sandra, you are just confirming my thoughts.

Ray.


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## aldra (Jul 2, 2009)

It must be us Jan 

We gather up ex partners, married or not 

Meg’s dad, Izzys mum 

Keep them in the fold 

And they remarry and bring their kids to visit us 

And we are more than delighted to see them 

Our Megs is courting

Lovely word

But he’s off soon to travel soon to places afar

She will join him for a three weeks holiday 

Tell me I said, have you ever thought of eloping ?

I recon I could finance an elope 

Didn’t work though 

A lawyer in the making 

Sandra


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## aldra (Jul 2, 2009)

raynipper said:


> Sandra, you are just confirming my thoughts.
> 
> Ray.


Which bit

That I am brilliant ?:grin2:

Sandra


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## patp (Apr 30, 2007)

Where was their common sense to not do the kitchen and bathroom first? Even if it is only for convenience while working on the rest of the house? This house is our third renovation project and we always sorted the kitchen and bathroom first. Come to think of it, when we moved here, the kitchen was not finished by the previous owner/"renovater". Don't want to worry you, Sandra, but they were selling due to divorcing.


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## raynipper (Aug 4, 2008)

Don't worry Sandra.
The French builder who converted/rebuilt our house 30 years ago had just finished it and got divorced.
The English couple who then bought it separated and divorced soon after.
Then we bought it as a holiday home 24 years ago and have lived in it happily ever after till death do us part.

Ray.


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## HermanHymer (Dec 5, 2008)

Sandra the fact that you're still on speaking/liking terms with that segment of the family speaks volumes. You deserve the Croix de Guerre, Nobel Peace Prize, CBE, Order of the Elephant, the whole damn lot.


Hope this weekend is THE ONE. Lock the door, sit back feet up and listen to the silence at least for a short time before compulsion makes you start at the front door, working backwards. Sounds like at least 2 weeks toil even before you start on Xmas stuff.


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## JanHank (Mar 29, 2015)

Don't listen to the silence because the brain will keep whirling,
Listen to these. :smile2: Enjoy


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## aldra (Jul 2, 2009)

I packed up the fridge, the cupboards 

Suggested that they take some of our many storage boxes to store their food in

And tomorrow they will empty the freezer into theirs or I will 

I’m holding fast

Out son is not pleased, I’m trying to build a home he said

So am I son , and I have 5 more of you, and 10 more of Archie 

And you are still managing to fit in Christmas shopping 

And granted I just give money , but we haven’t even got time to think of Christmas 

Your present is the bathroom, Mark will fit it in Two days or so 

And if you’d paid for professional help at the beginning you would have saved time and money 

So as dragon den says

“Your out “

And that’s the only way you will finally take your family home

But we are here as we’ve always been 

And we will always help in the background 

The foreground , well it’s past it’s sell by date 

We’re shattered and need to reclaim our life 

It isn’t exciting , but it allows for kids and grandkids to pass through on a regular basis 

Unfortunately pass through is the key 

Sandra


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## patp (Apr 30, 2007)

Well done! Stay strong


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## aldra (Jul 2, 2009)

We will

We are truly exhausted 

The kids, the grandkids and the non grandkids are a bit much 

The house is a nightmare, shoes, coats , clothes every where 

Well it is to me 

The shower is constantantly in use 

The floor wet

The wooden floor is damaged as its always wet 

Towels everywhere 

It’s not the way I run my house

But she is not one of mine and either are her kids

So I hold back

It will finish 

And I will return this home to mine

And who knows maybe she and her kids will come back 

I rather think she will 

Why not

We will see

Sandra


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## aldra (Jul 2, 2009)

And tonight I have her kids, Izzy and another grandchild of mine
Andtheyhavebeen brilliant 

But I’d love them to get out 

Give me back my home

And then of course they will be welcome 

Because I’ll be in control 

Sandra


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## patp (Apr 30, 2007)

Oh Sandra! All that work you put in to the house before you went away!

Still you have the satisfaction of knowing you have given them a leg up in their new life together.


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## aldra (Jul 2, 2009)

It wasn’t just that Pat

For the first time we had paid to have it decorated 

Always we’ve done it ourselves

And they didn’t destroy any of the decorating 

Just shall we say detracted from it wiith coats, shoes, possessions dropped everywhere 

And as she/ he doesn’t hoover she /he doesn’t need to pick them up before they hoover I do ....or did 

We are all so different , keeping my house clean and organised , runs deep

I felt I needed to to manage 6 kids 

And I still need too

Much stuff has gone, much remains 

Her daughter is an absolute star

Sandra


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## aldra (Jul 2, 2009)

And little Archie

Is besotted by his grandad 

Not yet by me 

We eye each other up 

You need to get older babe 

Sandra


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## Penquin (Oct 15, 2007)

aldra said:


> You need to get older babe
> 
> Sandra


That comes with time.....😉


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## aldra (Jul 2, 2009)

Of course it does 

I’m not so sure 

Is that really bad 

I can’t really hold him , my joints are not good and. He’s heavy 

But I eye him up, he eyes me 

And it won’t be that long before he tells me

Grandma I haven’t been fooded yet 

And I’ll food him 

Sandra


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## aldra (Jul 2, 2009)

Well the saga continues

The bathroom tiles don’t match up 

So it’s cost us 125 £ 

They were a bargain , because they didn’t match in size , only a fraction out, but multiplied ?

Anyway new tiles large bought , for us cheaper than paying days to put them in place 

Our son won’t listen, he’s pissed off we’ve thown him and his family out 

But unless we did he would still be here , until when?

And I’m not that happy cleaning up the residue, washing towels and bedding is taking me for ever 

Rearranging wardrobes, well I’ve done a bit 

My fridge is mine , no longer full of things chucked in 

Where kids root to put up their lunches , I’d given up cleaning it 

And hes insulted our decorator / bathroom fitter in a text which has come through to us 

He might be our son , but he’s a tosser

But Megs is here tonight

Her bedroom is finally pristine 

Wish the whole house was 

Im hoping this blip will not split us

But Albert was down at his house most of the day, when he should have been here 

Helping me clean up 

And I wouldn’t care, but we are paying for Mark the decorators time 

he has still has work to here in our home

But that’s on hold 

Till he’s finished his bathroom 

Sandra


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## patp (Apr 30, 2007)

And breathe - they've gone.......

I feel your pain with Albert going missing. It is the story of my life. Chris loves nothing better than to go off and help other people while things need doing here. I have lost lots of "friends" because of it. People who use him and never repay his generosity. Their loss in the end. My own brother still does it. All through Chris's illness he avoided him. Didn't offer to visit him in hospital because he doesn't like hospitals. Then as soon as Chris was feeling a bit better my brother appears and asks for a "favour".


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## aldra (Jul 2, 2009)

Well Alberts told himand hung up

It takes a lot for Albert to get angry 

But when he does , he does

And it’s best you listen 

Because he’s not playing games

And maybe our son won’t recognise it 

Well he will be the first of six, and one or two of grandkids who don’t 

Even I a stroppy one 

Take a breath and step back

Not to far you understand 

But far enough 

A gentle giant pushed too far

Not good 

Sandra


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## aldra (Jul 2, 2009)

He sent what we felt was an offence text

To Albert instead of Mark 

And Albert told him do not insult our friend , he is an excellent worker , an experienced worker 

And he’s doing you a favour because of our respect for him 

And we , not you are paying him

You cocked up, nothing new there 

Bargain tiles, bargains because the size is a fraction out, multiply that and your well out at the end 

So it’s cost you decent tiles, £130 

It’s costing us £120 a day 

And yesterday he needed to remove the tiles he’d put on 

our son must have been subdued , because he texted will Mark come tomorrow?

Yes he will because he’s doing your bathroom for us not for you

And your mum puts up his lunch , and I will take it down , and he doesn’t need to leave the job to go out to get it 

We respect his expertise, his professionalism and yes his friendship gained when he decorated our house and fitted our shower 

And you need to see workers as professional people , not just as people payed to do a job 

He certainly doesn’t need the work on your bathroom 

He’s fitted you in to his busy schedule for us 

His expertise goes before him , he’s well in demand 

Sandra


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## aldra (Jul 2, 2009)

A brief visit from Archer

He’s just over 12 weeks now

Desperately trying to communicate, the tongue is constantly gurning 

So much like young Albert 

Will he make 6’ 4” ?


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## aldra (Jul 2, 2009)

We’ve actually managed to get most of their things out of our house

I did a multitude of all their washing, dried folded it neatly and it’s gone at last 

The bathroom has cost much more in labour than we thought , and it still isn’t finished , but they can bath and shower , and the toilet flushes 

And it seems they are pleased with the result , so they should be 

We however have no sink in our on suite , we haven’t had time to think about it since getting back 

Their stuff has gone from my freezer, today, at last , so now I can consider shopping for Christmas 

Upstairs is pristine, we’ve emptied the clothes out of the MH , the gardens are almost put to bed 

Young Albert has injured his hand, so Albert will need to return all the boxes packed with their stuff to the loft and bring the decorations down 

Will our son help?

No he has a house to build >

We only have a house to put back to rights, shampoo carpets , from the wear and tear of three months over use 

Nothing new there then 

Thank goodness I only give money for Christmas , I don’t need to shop except for friends and being friends they won’t care if I haven’t time till January 

Still it takes our mind off the scans in January 

We had a A gift from our granddaughter , £50 , a trip to a winary 

With one thing and another , appointments scans etc we didn’t have time to use it 
Phoned up today 

They will extend it for a fee of £20 pounds, is that alright ?

No it isn’t said Albert , 

So they extended it for free 

Merry Christmas

Sandra


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## aldra (Jul 2, 2009)

And megsdad has phoned what size turkey do you want 

It’s a gift 

He does turkeys on his stall 

And I have loved his daughter 

For years , and she has loved her dad

Not a blood relative to me , except through her 
And 
Who cares 

She adores him, he her 

So that makes us relatives 

Marrage doesn’t come in to it

Sandra


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## aldra (Jul 2, 2009)

I’m getting there

Carpets shampooed 

Glass ornaments and windows washed 

Gardens finished 

Just the garage which once clean we store wine beer and Christmas food , it’s better than a fridge 

And down will come the Christmas trees 

And we will light up this house for Christmas with Christmas trees which I love 

We won’t have the whole family at once any more 

It’s too much for us now 

But I’ll cook meals for individual families and friends 

I love to cook 

So we will have Christmas , quiet I hope 

And in the new year I’ll get my tricycle 

And I think we will explore our green and pleasant land 

Sandra


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## aldra (Jul 2, 2009)

We’ve only just emptied our clothes from the van

We’ve only just had space to put them away , once we packed up theirs 

So next time you give your house to your kids, and in our case strangers that are partners and kids 

Think carefully 

I won’t be doing it again 

We had eventually to throw them out , but gently 

Cost us to pay for their bathroom 

But I felt guilty 

We could never have prepared for Christmas whilst they remained 

They couldnt have cared less about the house 

And maybe they are right who knows ?

But I’ve always been a Martha not a Mary ( Check the New Testament)

I’d never have sat at His feet 

I’d have been far to busy cooking and cleaning 

You take what you get faults and all 

Sandra


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## patp (Apr 30, 2007)

Good news, Sandra!

We rented our house out to tenants, a few years ago, and they gave it back in an immaculate state. You were right to stand firm and claim back your home.


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## aldra (Jul 2, 2009)

Well this house was far from immaculate 

The bedrooms alone took days , never hoovered in two months 

And they think it was fine 

Why dust and hoover ?

Pick up clothes , shoes etc 

Why need to hoover carpets 

Wash wooden floors 

I think it’s great they feel like that

In their own home, not in mine 

Sandra


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