# Swift Latest



## dragstar (Jun 26, 2006)

Once again Swift are shutting down their factory for their annual 3 week holiday. However I have been reliably informed that a skeleton staff will be in place for all your queries. They are substituting the receptionist with an answer phone and the work force have all had cardboard cut outs made of themselves, should there be any personal callers.

I suppose it doesn't really matter how long they shut down for as there is not much difference between them being there or not. Being an animal lover I am all in favour of their delivery horse and cart having a well earned rest. It takes them six weeks to get here to Lincoln and I presume a further six weeks to get back. If you consider the amount of food that is consumed by the horse and driver, along with living expenses, offset by manure sales, it is no wonder that we are paying a premium for parts.
There was some talk of Swift going motorised but as yet have not found anything as reliable as the good old horse and cart. Of course they did consider using their own personal vehicles but this was quickly dismissed as it was found the parts were overpriced, the delivery was unacceptable and the product unreliable.

There is also talk of SWIFT changing their name as they feel it puts them at a disadvantage and that it might draw them into a conflict with Brussels.
They searched the length and breadth of the country for another Company that was equal to their standards only one Company was obvious from the outset. This Company was Brownhills. At present the only sticking point to this merger is where to site the second stable as both Companies passionately believe that the only way forward is to double the horse power.

There is also an imminent name change. After looking at their joint names they realised they were limited because of the lack of vowels in their combined names. Consequently they then sort advise from the same Company that produced the the Olympic Logo who came back with the following name, BROWN'S WHIST FILL, which sounds remarkably like a land fill site. 
I for one find this name very appropiate. Obviously if there are any more developments I will continue posting.


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## some-where-in-oxford (Apr 18, 2006)

*Re: SWIFT LATEST*



dragstar said:


> There is also an imminent name change. After looking at their joint names they realised they were limited because of the lack of vowels in their combined names. Consequently they then sort advise from the same Company that produced the the Olympic Logo who came back with the following name, BROWN'S WHIST FILL, which sounds remarkably like a land fill site.
> I for one find this name very appropiate. Obviously if there are any more developments I will continue posting.


And a special forum has been set up for customer complaints
to be known as -

With bills frowns


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## SwiftGroup (Jun 27, 2007)

*Swift Holidays*

Swift Manufacturing do take a 3 week annual holiday for the period of Monay 30 July - Friday 17 August 2007. Our Customer Careline will be open Monday - Thursday, 8.30 - 12.30 and 1.30 - 5.30pm, Fridays 8.30 - 2pm.

There will be less staff than usual, hence the lunchtime closure but we will help as much as we can over the holiday period.

We have changed the note on the bottom of our letters so that it is not misleading.

Customer Care


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## nukeadmin (Oct 10, 2003)

thx for joining in Swiftgroup and alerting us to these items,

Its always better when the company in question comes to MHF and handles the enquiries rather than hide away and ignore it


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