# In the style of Pam Ayres (a bit rude)



## bognormike (May 10, 2005)

Oh, I Wish I'd Looked After Me Tits 
By Pam Ayres (allegedly!)





Oh, I wish I'd looked after me dear old knockers, 
Not flashed them to boys behind the school lockers, 
Or let them get fondled by randy old dockers, 
Oh, I wish I'd looked after me tits. 

'Cos now I'm much older and gravity's winning. 
It's Nature's revenge for all that sinning, 
And those dirty memories are rapidly dimming, 
Oh, I wish I'd looked after me tits. 

'Cos tits can be such troublesome things 
When they no longer bounce, but dangle and swing. 
And although they go well with my Bingo wings, 
I wish I'd looked after me tits. 

When they're both long enough to tie up in a bow, 
When it's not the sweet chariot that swings low, 
When they're less of a friend and more of a foe, 
Then I wish I'd looked after me tits. 

When I was young I got whistles and hoots, 
From the men on the site to the men in the suits, 
Now me nipples get stuck in the zips on me boots, 
Oh, I wish I'd looked after me tits. 

When I was younger I rode bikes and scooters, 
Cruising around with my favourite suitors. 
Now the wheels get entangled with my dangling hooters, 
I wish I'd looked after me tits. 

When they follow behind and get trapped in the door, 
When they're less in the air and more near the floor, 
When people see less of them rather than more, 
Oh, I wish I'd looked after me tits. 

:roll:


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## Snelly (Aug 20, 2005)

Maybe a little 'adult' warning in the title for our younger viewers?


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## bognormike (May 10, 2005)

yes, sorry shane


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## badger (May 9, 2005)

Good though!!....I recited it to myself in Pam Ayres voice!! :lol:


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## Hampshireman (Apr 18, 2007)

Very funny, might save it for one of our Hash ladies to use at a show. Any royalties due anywhere?


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## bognormike (May 10, 2005)

Oi can do Oxfurrdshire as well 8)


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## crazylady (Oct 13, 2005)

Loved it!!!! :lol: :lol: :lol:


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## 101776 (Nov 13, 2006)

Very good......an ode to women of a certain age everywhere!!!! :lol: :lol: :lol:


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## fatwallet (May 18, 2006)

first class very funny


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## dinger (Jul 30, 2007)

*poem*

Very good.................

Kept reading it out in a west country accent that sounded more like Blue Beard the pirate


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