# Brickie Letter Accident Claim



## Nora+Neil (May 1, 2005)

Hope you like this.

BRICKIES LETTER
>
>This is a bricklayer's accident report, which was printed in the
newsletter
>of the Australian equivalent of the Workers' Compensation board.
>This is a true story.
>Had this guy died, he'd have received a Darwin Award for sure....
>

>Dear Sir "I am writing in response to your request for additional
>information in Block 3 of the accident report form. I put "poor
planning" 
>as
>the cause of my accident.
>You asked for a fuller explanation and I trust the following details
will 
>be
>sufficient.
>
>I am a bricklayer by trade.
>On the day of the accident, I was working alone on the roof of a new
>six-story building.
>When I completed my work, I found that I had some bricks left over
which,
>when weighed later, were found
>to be slightly in excess of 500 lbs.
>Rather than carry the bricks down by hand, I decided to lower them in
a
>barrel by using a pulley, which was
>attached to the side of the building on the sixth floor.
>
>Securing the rope at ground level, I went up to the roof, swung the
barrel
>out and loaded the bricks into it.
>Then I went down and untied the rope, holding it tightly to ensure a
slow
>descent of the bricks.
>You will note in Block 11 of the accident report form that I weigh
135lbs.
>
>Due to my surprise at being jerked off the ground so suddenly, I lost
my
>presence of mind and forgot to let go of the rope. Needless to say, I
>proceeded at a rapid rate up the side of the building.
>In the vicinity of the third floor, I met the barrel, which was now
>proceeding downward at an equal, impressive speed.
>This explained the fractured skull, minor abrasions and the broken
collar
>bone, as listed in section 3 of the accident report form.
>
>Slowed only slightly, I continued my rapid ascent, not stopping until
the
>fingers of my right hand were two knuckles deep into the pulley.
>Fortunately, by this time I had regained my presence of mind and was
able 
>to
>hold tightly to the rope, in spite of beginning to experience a great
deal
>of pain.
>
>At approximately the same time, however, the barrel of bricks hit the

>ground
>and the bottom fell out of the barrel. Now devoid of the weight of
the
>bricks, that barrel weighed approximately 50lbs.
>I refer you again to my weight.
>As you can imagine, I began a rapid descent, down the side of the
building.
>In the vicinity of the third floor, I met the barrel coming up.
>This accounts for the two fractured ankles, broken tooth and several
>lacerations of my legs and lower body.
>
>Here my luck began to change slightly.
>The encounter with the barrel seemed to slow me enough to lessen my 
>injuries
>when I fell into the pile of
>bricks and fortunately only three vertebrae were cracked.
>I am sorry to report, however, as I lay there on the pile of bricks,
in
>pain, unable to move, I again lost my composure and presence of mind
and 
>let
>go of the rope and I lay there watching the empty barrel begin its
journey
>back down onto me. This explains the two broken legs.
>
>They settled his claim...


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## 89146 (May 15, 2005)

Victor Borg used this in his speech to Oxford University (if I remember correctly, 1960 or whereabouts) which my father had a recording of and we used to enjoy it regularly, it is a classic. Still have the record lying around in the attic somewhere.

The old ones are the best! :lol: Great to hear it again :lol: 


Gill


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## 88883 (May 10, 2005)

Very good :lol: 

Chris


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## 90172 (May 1, 2005)

superb.
I enjoyed the first time I heard it and it just gets funnier


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## autostratus (May 9, 2005)

spottydog said:


> Victor Borg used this in his speech to Oxford University
> Gill


http://www.*******.com/Humour/Assorted/bricks.html

There is at least one other version of this doing the rounds, but anyone who has heard the BBC tape of Huffnung's delivery of this version will brook no other ...

The Bricklayer's Lament 
Told by Gerard Hoffnung at the Oxford Union, 
December 4th, 1958. 
A striking lesson in keeping the upper lip stiff is given in a recent number of the weekly bulletin of the Federation of Civil Engineering Contractors, which prints the following letter from a bricklayer in Golders Green to the firm for whom he works.

"Respected Sir,

When I got to the top of the building I found that the hurricane had knocked some bricks off the top. So I rigged up a beam with a pulley at the top of the building and hoisted up a couple of barrels full of bricks.

When I had fixed the building, there was a lot of bricks left over. I hoisted the barrel back up again and secured the line at the bottom, and then went up and filled the barrel with extra bricks. Then I went to the bottom and cast off the line.

Unfortunately the barrel of bricks was heavier than I was, and before I knew what was happening, the barrel started down, jerking me off the ground.

I decided to hang on, and halfway up I met the barrel coming down, and received a severe blow on the shoulder.

I then continued to the top, banging me 'ead against the beam and getting my fingers jammed in the pulley.

When the barrel hit the ground, it burst at its bottom, allowing all the bricks to spill out. I was now heavier than the barrel, and so started down again at high speed.

Halfway down I met the barrel coming up, and received servere injuries to my shins. When I hit the ground I landed on the bricks, getting several painful cuts from the sharp edges.

At this point I must have lost my presence of mind because I let go the line.

The barrel then came down, giving me another heavy blow on the head, and putting me in hospital.

I respectfully request sick leave. "

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Thanks to Mel Pearce for sending this to us. 
Oxymoron Humour


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## Drummer (May 9, 2005)

spottydog said:


> The old ones are the best!
> 
> Gill


Thank you so much Gill, your very kind!


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## 89146 (May 15, 2005)

> Told by Gerard Hoffnung at the Oxford Union,
> December 4th, 1958.


That's the one!!!!!! Apologies for getting the name wrong, the gist of the rest was correct....... why do I always get those two gentlemen mixed up?? :roll:

Thanks Gillian, your memory is far better than mine 

Gill


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## autostratus (May 9, 2005)

Gerard Hoffnung came to mind as I can remember hearing the piece on many occasions.

The humour is not just in the words but in the delivery with the long pauses to allow the audience to work out what's going to happen next.

Wonderful!
My sort of humour. I like to call it visual humour in words as I can paint pictures in my mind.


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