# Tragedy Hits Scotland following England v Croatia Match



## asprn (Feb 10, 2006)

Tributes are being paid to Scotland this morning after the entire country laughed itself to death.

The alarm was first raised at around 10pm last night as thousands of phone calls and text messages went unanswered.

Small groups of volunteers from Berwick-Upon-Tweed and Carlisle ventured north just after midnight only to find houses full of dead people gathered around still blaring television sets.

By dawn, as RAF helicopters flew over deserted city streets, it was clear that the whole country had suffered a catastrophic abdominal rupture.

Wayne Hayes, a special constable from Northumberland, said: "We went into one house in Dunbar and found three men sitting on the sofa with huge smiles on their faces, still holding cans of 70 shilling. They seemed to be at peace."

He added: "In a house near Edinburgh we found a man face down on the living room floor with his trousers and pants round his knees. "It seems he may have been showing his bare buttocks to the television when he keeled over."

Roy Hobbs, a civil engineer from Northampton, said: "I got a call from my friend Ian in Stirling at about 9.50pm. "He was already laughing when I answered the phone, but after about 25 minutes of the most vigorous and uncontrollable hilarity, everything suddenly went very quiet."

Moving tributes are already being placed along the Scotland-England border with many mourners opting to leave a simple bag of chips or a deep fried bunch of flowers.


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## 100004 (Jul 12, 2006)

Very,very good :lol: :lol: H


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## bognormike (May 10, 2005)

what would have they done if Scotland qualified?


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## framptoncottrell (Jan 6, 2006)

bognormike said:


> what would have they done if Scotland qualified?


As if... :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

Dr (musical, not medical) Roy


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## andyangyh (May 1, 2005)

I think this is most unfair! England only failed to qualify because:-

a) The referees were biased
b) The pitches were awful
c) All the other teams played better than us.

Could have happened to anyone.


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## moblee (Dec 31, 2006)

> Moving tributes are already being placed along the Scotland-England border with many mourners opting to leave a simple bag of chips or a deep fried bunch of flowers.


We prefer *pasta* down here :twisted: :lol:


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## asprn (Feb 10, 2006)

In case you missed it on the other thread, the England team have sensibly redesigned their logo in view of the result.

Dougie.


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## moblee (Dec 31, 2006)

Alright Dougie,I'm not going to get into a row,BUT i never rated
mc claren,as for our goalies :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: 

phil


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## asprn (Feb 10, 2006)

moblee said:


> Alright Dougie,I'm not going to get into a row,BUT i never rated....


<pours fourth whisky>
<tries to suppress smug grin but fails>

Slainte Mhath everyone.

Especially to the Inglish.

:-({|=

Dougie.


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## bognormike (May 10, 2005)

I don't know if everybody else is getting the same google ad at the bottom of the page as I am:-

www.memory-of.com

on there you can "create a memorial site"  
RIP England.....

8O


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## asprn (Feb 10, 2006)

bognormike said:


> on there you can "create a memorial site" ... RIP England.....


How deliciously cynical. 

Dougie.


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## moblee (Dec 31, 2006)

:big14: 




phil :-#


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