# Retirement - missing the teamwork



## patp (Apr 30, 2007)

Just wondered if, upon retirement, anyone else missed or is missing the teamwork of being at work?


I even went back to work for a while.


Now fully retired but I am struggling with the concept of pleasing myself all day every day. I suppose, having worked as part of a team in lots of situations for nearly fifty years, it will come as a bit of a culture shock. You think it is going to be great and then it just is not what you thought it would be.


----------



## cabby (May 14, 2005)

A bit of a reality shock, this means you miss the social side of having people next to you. Time to get yourself going then, find out what is going on locally for your hobbies etc.

cabby


----------



## davidandgwen (Jun 25, 2008)

I know what you mean. I already went gliding (which in itself is a very social sport as you need help to launch and recover gliders) but I added a PPL as something to achieve and work towards whilst meeting other people. In addition I did a lot of research into my family history which kept my mind active on cold and wet January days.
But the best thing I did was to volunteer at The Museum of the Broads. I get to meet a great bunch of people whist working with the maintenance which refurbishes the museum every winter. I also help on reception during the season and the real bonus is playing on the big boy's toy: their. steam launch Falcon. 
Hunt around a bit, there were three places to go to nearer than MOTB but I liked the people there, they all seemed as mad as me so I got on famously.
Anyway, good luck in whatever you decide to do, there are a lot of choices.


----------



## HermanHymer (Dec 5, 2008)

Kay I couldn't agree more. One day you're powerful, respected, obeyed, and achieving targets and the next you have nowhere to go in the morning and nothing important to do. You come in the evening having 'pleased yourself' and given yourself no satisfaction at all. There really is very little satisfaction in simply pleasing yourself. You have to do something for others, something you enjoy, that challenges and uses your skills, that adds value, like your work used to do. But that said better to quit while you're at a peak. The toll of the years may take away some of your energy and some young bright spark will make a song and dance about his latest, greatest idea (yes the same one that's been around 3 times in your working career). And he/she'll wonder how you ever got where you did without him/her.

On the plus side, there's no "Sunday evening" feeling, when you don't feel like getting up at the crack of dawn you don't have to, you can go away for a long weekend, or a long motorhoming trip when everyone else is at work etc etc. You can still do your own personal SWOT analysis etc.if you still need to go through the familiar motions until you eventually relinquish the old habits.

After 39 and a half years of work and now 11 and a half years of retirement, I've come through on the other side. The only things I miss about work are payday and the airconditioning. New friends and new interests have replaced the old and I'm really enjoying pleasing myself.

_"Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth." Desiderata)

_


----------



## MEES (Apr 20, 2006)

I felt the same way and still do to a certain extent
It's a lack of routine and being needed and ti a certain extent important.
For me to a large extent helping with grandkids partially fill the gap?
Then there're are the extended trips in the motorhome.
However extended periods at home do leave me feeling restless.
You cannot expect your partner to fulfil all your needs and need to follow some new activities for yourself 
I feel like I now have to thin kip two meals every day ins tread of 1 - when away we eat out quite a lot


----------



## Spacerunner (Mar 18, 2006)

I took to retirement like a duck to water. No more back stabbers, no more sh** upon by incompetent senior management, no more stupid school leavers, no more never seeing daylight for the months of the year.
As you can guess I hated my job. Retirement has been a delightful revaluation! I get up when my body asks and not some desk jockey, I go to bed when I'm ready and not because I'm having to get up before dawn.
Best of all I've got a motorhome to make my life something I have dreamt about for years.


----------



## rayrecrok (Nov 21, 2008)

Get your feet up and take it easy, you will soon get used to it... I got the hang of it by lunchtime, mind you I am a quick learner!..

ray.


----------



## mgdavid (Nov 27, 2014)

Spacerunner said:


> I took to retirement like a duck to water. No more back stabbers, no more sh** upon by incompetent senior management, no more stupid school leavers, no more never seeing daylight for the months of the year.
> As you can guess I hated my job. Retirement has been a delightful revaluation! I get up when my body asks and not some desk jockey, I go to bed when I'm ready and not because I'm having to get up before dawn.
> Best of all I've got a motorhome to make my life something I have dreamt about for years.


I identify with almost all of that!
Never hated the job, in fact managed to get a lot of perverse satisfaction out of it (I was a project manager in IT), mostly because getting anything done on time meant bending and breaking the rules, often 
Also I regard myself as fortunate in that I have a passion - motor sport. I build and prepare my own cars and then go racing with my eldest son; wife and MH come in handy too! I'm very happy in my own space and can go several days without leaving the house / garage. If I'd known retirement could be this good I'd have done something about going early instead of hanging in there until 65. I also love travelling so now have to make choices about planning longer MH hols vs. being at home for certain race meetings (I know, such a first world problem). I say to people who claim they're bored - come over, I'll share my toys - but most people don't want to get their hands dirty or think they don't have the ability. I had planned to volunteer at a local aviation museum but simply haven't found time yet.


----------



## suedew (May 10, 2005)

I still miss my colleagues and the banter, but not the beaurocracy, wasted money and inefficient management. loved my job, but it was time to go. 
We both retired at the same time, and both were used to being in charge, we have just about, 6 years on, got it sorted out.
love getting away midweek when all the children are at school too.
Sue


----------



## blindwatchertrev (Nov 4, 2011)

Spacerunner said:


> I took to retirement like a duck to water. No more back stabbers, no more sh** upon by incompetent senior management, no more stupid school leavers, no more never seeing daylight for the months of the year.
> As you can guess I hated my job. Retirement has been a delightful revaluation! I get up when my body asks and not some desk jockey, I go to bed when I'm ready and not because I'm having to get up before dawn.
> Best of all I've got a motorhome to make my life something I have dreamt about for years.


Could not have put it better myself. Well said.


----------



## delawaredandy (Oct 12, 2012)

Pat if you are looking for a bit of charity work, my garden needs a bit of a tidy up, you can bring the M/H down we can stick that on the drive Leccy provided free, the choice is yours. :laugh::laugh:

M


----------



## klyne (May 10, 2005)

Regardless of how we liked work we are all bound to have a Kitchen Window moment when we stare out into the garden and wonder if this is it. There are usually two big changes in our lives, once when we start work and once when we leave. Surely with our hobby at least we have the advantage that we can do more of what we love. You soon settle into a routine but if you don't there are lots of opportunities out there to do things which you couldn't devote enough time to whilst you were working.


David


----------



## Mrplodd (Mar 4, 2008)

I have actually retired TWICE

The first time was 10 years ago when I retired from the Police aged 51 after 30 years service. I got pretty bored pretty quickly!! Initially I did a bit of hospital car service work ferrying people around, I met some very pleasant people and I also met some real ***holes who seemed to feel everything on the planet was theirs by right and that it should just be dropped in their lap with no effort on their part.

So I then went driving for a local coach company, that didn't last long! Days off were notified two days in advance, the working day was 08:00 till whatever time your last job was finished and that could be midnight (n overtime payment EVER)

So I then moved on the Local Authority highways section, looking at requests for new signs, and sorting out "improvements" which weren't, after that it was planning no end of diversion routes should (highway) disaster strike during the upcoming Olympics (that was VERY stressful!!!) and then after the Oily-Impics (which were a huge non-event for Weymouth in the end) I moved on to traffic signals etc. Didn't enjoy that at all so when the chance of voluntary redundancy came up this time last year I stuck my hand up and finished at the end of August. 

So since last August I have been fully retired, I missed the camaraderie for about a day and then got on enjoying the fact that I had good health, no work to worry about, a wife who had also retired a month later, and financial security.

Having been through the entire retirement process twice now my main (but very important) observation would be.

If at all possible, rather than running full pelt up to the cliff edge that is retirement, and then stopping dead, try and "run down" towards it by dropping a days work (or two) a week so that you gradually get accustomed to more time of your own. I appreciate hat is not possible for many people but a lot of companies will oblige IF asked well enough in advance, after all they will save a few quid in pay.

You simply MUST be really happy in your own mind that it's time to/you really want to, actually stop work. (If that's not how you feel then don't retire because you will hate it)

You need to work out what you are going to do with your day, personally I have not felt that I have had a "slack" hour since I finished work, I always seem to be able to find plenty to do OTHER than watching daytime telly (or as I prefer to call it, TV to slash your wrist to!) I walk and or cycle as often as possible, even if it's just down to shops to get an onion. I don't have a large garden, or a dog to walk (I will be getting a dog in the future once we have slowed down a lot on travelling) 

It's important to cultivate friends/interests outside your sphere of work BEFORE you actually finish as work occupies your mind a lot and once that stimulus has gone you will need something else to keep the old grey matter going. 

The first month or so will seem a little "odd" because suddenly you DONT need to clock watch. 

If you find yourself with rather more time on your hands than you like then look at voluntary work of some description. Libraries, the National Trust, local museums, hospitals, theatres etc etc are always on the look out for volunteers.

I am convinced that retirement is, to a great extent, a state of mind, you just need to convince yourself that it's right for you!!! 

Enjoy it.

Andy


----------



## aldra (Jul 2, 2009)

I missed work

The companionship, the mental stimulation of solving problems, the clients

But it is good not getting up in the morning

And since I have got lazy

Don't think as much
Don't problem solve 

But then Im not responsible for staff, clients welfare anymore 

And I'm getting old now

Aldra


----------



## homenaway (Jul 27, 2005)

Hi,

We've both been retired for several years and have really enjoyed life.

Our two passions are our motorhome holidays and joining local U3A (University of the Third Age) branches where we've met so many new friends with various interests. Don't be put off by the word University - it's not normally academic and there are no qualifications to work towards. There is no lower age limit and our local branches have such a choice of interest groups - (we've started a few ourselves). We have deliberately joined separate groups. 

Walking groups are popular and I'm involved in Laptops and Tablets drop-in sessions, Modern Science, Photography and Art groups (I had never tried painting - no time while at work), and they are all very informal. Locally we even have a dry stone walling group -plenty need repairing here in Derbyshire! We also have a monthly meeting for a social get together.

Costs are minimal compared to the few adult education classes that are still run with their emphasis on targets and qualifications. 

You can go along to a couple of meetings to see if it's for you.

Steve


----------



## camoyboy (May 9, 2005)

I have been retired for 10 weeks now, so still going through the learning curve. Fortunately the new MH arrived just before Christmas so I am busy fitting it out with all the extras. I'm still getting used to not having to get everything done on Saturday and Sunday, but with Sara still working there are some things that have to be planned for then. Otherwise I am loving the freedom of doing what I want when I want.

I will be going back to "work" in the spring for a half a day a week doing factory tours, and the odd weekend helping out with track days, this is one aspect of the job i miss and will enjoy meeting up with the groups of enthusiasts again. But I do not miss the 6.00 starts or the constant pressure to work miracles every minute of the day. 

Colin


----------



## BillCreer (Jan 23, 2010)

mgdavid said:


> I identify with almost all of that!
> Never hated the job, in fact managed to get a lot of perverse satisfaction out of it (I was a project manager in IT), mostly because getting anything done on time meant bending and breaking the rules, often
> Also I regard myself as fortunate in that I have a passion - motor sport. I build and prepare my own cars and then go racing with my eldest son; wife and MH come in handy too! I'm very happy in my own space and can go several days without leaving the house / garage. If I'd known retirement could be this good I'd have done something about going early instead of hanging in there until 65. I also love travelling so now have to make choices about planning longer MH hols vs. being at home for certain race meetings (I know, such a first world problem). I say to people who claim they're bored - come over, I'll share my toys - but most people don't want to get their hands dirty or think they don't have the ability. I had planned to volunteer at a local aviation museum but simply haven't found time yet.


Sorry Dave but it was taking on work, as an IT Support Manager, from Project Managers who had cut corners and pushed incomplete and inadequate solutions in my direction that made work hard and unpleasant for me. I don't blame Project Managers I blame "The System".
As IT is 24/7 x 365 then, as a Support Manager, you can't switch off or get away from it because you know it is always going to break. Some solutions more than others.
To go from a life which was constantly stressful to one where I had no worries, responsibilities and had financially security was pleasurable in the extreme.
I've yet to see any negatives as for me, for the first time in my life, the last six years has been about worry free pleasure. Not that I do or achieve a great deal or, indeed, feel that I have too.
One important thing I did learn a long time ago is that life can get very depressing if you don't make plans and have something to look forward too.


----------



## patp (Apr 30, 2007)

I'm not bored, as such. I joined several groups which get me out of the house. We walk the dog twice a day and bump into others all the time. It is just the drifting, I think, and the lack of being useful. As I said, it is being part of a team that I miss. Also, as others have said, the feeling of "is this it?".


Before I returned to work, after the first retirement, I volunteered at the local Riding for the Disabled. I did enjoy it but am shying away from it again slightly, this time, because I am one that commits. If I am needed I will have to go and that becomes a worry. It is also staffed mainly by females. As a female myself, I feel I can say this - they can be a bit, what shall I say, "intense". I do like to be outdoors and it is a very good cause. The children really love it and it has huge benefits for them.


----------



## Mrplodd (Mar 4, 2008)

Pat

It's all about your state of mind, well that's my view.

Rather than thinking "is this it" my view is "this IS it and its great" Give it a try!

Andy


----------



## patp (Apr 30, 2007)

Mrplodd said:


> Pat
> 
> It's all about your state of mind, well that's my view.
> 
> ...


 You are probably right Andy .

Should not have drawn out that Local Government Pension, when we needed a washing machine and freezer, all those years ago :crying: Not complaining, though, because there are lots worse off, and they would not be motorhome owners, so we must count ourselves lucky and we do. It is just that there are more options open when the finances aren't stretched.

Our health is generally good too so that is a blessing. Don't know what I would do if I could not walk the dog and get about like we do. Big garden to do in the summer too.

Must be the weather! There again, must count our blessings living in the area we do 

The funny thing is I used to hate team sports at school!


----------



## Brock (Jun 14, 2005)

I recognise your feelings, patp.

Work provided me with a sense of purpose and a sense of belonging. That disappeared when I retired because my pension provides the income, not work; work=money=lifestyle. The sense of belonging disappeared when I realised few cared a jot any more about what I thought.

Joining clubs etc is all very well but I found I was just meeting up with retired people who, like me, were looking for something else in their life.

Mr Plodd is right about the state of mind. His comment tallies with the preretirement course I went on and the retirement research I did myself. If you want to know how I sorted out my mental state, read on.

The meaning of life is living happily. Happiness is joy without guilt. So, without feeling guilty [like I'd do when skipping off for a few hours of 'me time'] I look for things everyday that brings me joy. These can vary from listening to music, making the lawn look tidy, seeing a rose in the garden in December, a walk in the mist.

Happiness comes from giving and receiving from people without expecting nothing in return. Much easier when working. However, inner happiness is not dependent on outside influences or events. I became my best friend, sharing those moments of joy with myself without guilt - I didn't feel the need to have another dog! I'm not selfish or on the road to loneliness because I still have friends and family; it does make life easier for my retired missus though because I don't drag her into everything I do or enjoy.

The danger for me is that I lose the sense of happiness and slip into contentment which will be a sentence to a stable and dull life. Not what I have been used to enjoying. In the meantime, I remain my best friend!


----------



## nicholsong (May 26, 2009)

Well here is two-pennies worth.

First on job satisaction: as an airline pilot the job was very satisfying but I missed an intelectual challenge so I started studying law while stiill flying. The problem with flying was the management and being posted from one base to another. So after qualifying in law I joined an aviation insurance loss adjuster and had some interseting times worldwide and went on to do even more interesting aviation work at a City law firm.

All that was fine and progressive but I had grown an increasing love for the relaxed life on Greek Islands - result was at age 45 I sold the house, bought a sailing boat and set off to Greece. Income was about £5K. It was 1987 and the stockmarket crashed that autumn and but by then I realised that I needed more money and also I would not want to winter on the boat.

I came back to UK and walked straight into flying again with 3 different companies over 3 years. By then finances had repaired and having bought a flat in London I went back to the boat for 2-3 summers but again market forces ruled as the mortgage rate went through the roof and property values were declining, so I sold the flat.

Back in London fate took over as a friend wanted legal help with financial services compliance. This lead to several years doing this for 3-4 clients, but as a self-employed consultant I was able to schedule my work and holidays to suit me, and I was sort of semi-retired. However for my last client it became more full-time so we agreed he should get an employee - he got two.

So then I suppose I was fully retired. But being single still I found the days were not full enough or filled with too much time in the pub. I decided I wanted some part-time work, but neither of my professional careers we conducive to that so I started doing some van driving, mostly through agencies where I could choose whether to do any jobs offered or not, and for a travel company where one just gave them one's available dates, omitting 2 months if one wished.

I suppose I could not say I had retired completely, but at least I was not committed to anyone and could still take time to go down to Greece on the boat. I was in control of what I did which in itself was a sort of retirement. The work also meant that I had enough income when I got to 65 to delay taking my state pension while drawing my private ones, which doubled the state one 6 years later.

I only finally stopped work when I decided to move to Poland to be with Basia. So unlike many of those posting above there was never an 'in work' one day and out the next. The process of going through self-employment and then part-time when I chose since age 45 suited me well. I doubt whether I would have continued working full-time for so long, but I had two advantages in my choices - I was single all that time and I was making money on my London property, so I was financially secure.

Do I miss work? Not as such but would welcome an intellectual challenge sometimes. I did conceive a business plan to expand Basia's financial services business - but she was having none of it because she wants to retire! Lazy girl!

Am I happy in retirement? Yes but with the caveat that I would like to travel more than we are limited to by the time we can leave Basia's Mother for. That time has to be divided between the MH an the boat and for the last two years it has ben exclusively the MH.

Geoff


----------



## StephandJohn (Sep 3, 2007)

I found it difficult to 'settle' in to retirement.I missed the companionship, the banter, the intellectual interest and even the responsibility a lot.
I became a volunteer for various organisations and a Trustee for a local charity - and then found they'd turned in to full time unpaid 'jobs'. I worried, and thought about problems that needed solving after 'work time' just like I did when at work. There was no benefit in being retired and no pay for doing a job either!
So I backed off and joined U3A which is great. I've been to dancing, philosophy, card-making, history, archeaology, and joined a walking group. There's no commitment to an expensive paid course and you can volunteer to help run things if you want to. I help out with organising speakers for the monthly meetings, making the tea for one group etc but try not to volunteer or too much so I can do other things as well. I've made new friends and get a lot of fun out of it
I also joined a creative writing group (nothing to do with U3A) and found out I could write stories and articles about travelling (some of which have been published in magazines). I'm still amazed at getting paid for them!
You just have to find the right balance that suits you and you'll begin to really enjoy your freedom.
Steph


----------



## dalspa (Jul 1, 2008)

Teamwork - what's that?
I have been self employed for the past 30 years, the first 20 years in partnership with one other person where we worked individually on our own projects. We disolved the partnership 10 years ago when my partner (older than me) retired and I then set up on my own, working from home.
I will be 65 at the beginning of March and my trading year ends at the beginning of April. I had been intending semi-retiring, just taking on the odd job for my best clients so as to give me a couple of days work a week. Then, about 6 months ago I suddenly thought " I've been working since I left school at 16 (during last two years at school I used to do 3 paper rounds a week + work in the holidays) and it's about time to stop!" I had long realised that reducing my work to only a couple of days a week would not work as clients would always be pushing me to do more.
So, I am now winding down my workload (Structural Engineer) ready for the big day :grin2:
Teamwork - I won't miss it.

DavidL


----------



## patp (Apr 30, 2007)

Well what fascinating tales have turned up  Thank you for all of them. They are quite inspiring.


That elusive "happiness" hmmm. I often tell mr patp that I envy his attitude to life. He has been off work for a long time, with a disability, and now retired. When his disability (knackered knees) hit him he just had to come to terms with occupying himself with this and that. He seems to have learned to just do what he feels like doing and not what "needs" doing. I struggle with that concept. Having had a full time job, run a house, raised children, kept horses, and other animals (goats, pigs etc), all at the same time, I find the concept of doing what you feel like doing, rather than what needs doing, alien. So I get up and get on with what needs doing. As no one appreciates this I guess this is where I might be going wrong?! 


I did try, in the summer, to copy mr patp. I did enjoy life more because I was pottering in the garden a lot of the time. I was probably at my happiest working alongside him as part of a "team". It was thinking about this that prompted the post.


Unfortunately I am not a gardener, though I would love to be one. I have tried to learn more but get frustrated because it is a) expensive and b) a bit of an art. There is always something that blocks progress. The weather, my physical capabilities (to dig new beds etc) so I get frustrated. Some of the time, however, I just sat in the garden and enjoyed doing that.


I have seen a couple of mentions of the U3A. I did investigate them, and attended a large meeting where not one soul spoke to me the whole time I was there  Perhaps I should give it another go? Do they do gardening?


What I thought would be my hobby in retirement, dog training, no longer appeals. For a good part of my working life it was my full time job. I ran a Pet Behaviour Centre for the vet's practice I worked for. It now seems like "work" to take part in dog obedience trials etc. I have been busy lately, however, rehabilitating our new rescue dog. Perhaps it might appeal more in the summer?


Keep 'em coming.


----------



## aldra (Jul 2, 2009)

Like you papt

I joined U3A

The problem I found was every group was full

And a year later I'm £20 poorer but no wiser

Guess I'm not the group joining type

I fancied the I pad group, full

Maybe a luncheon group,? all full

Maybe any group then??

But by then I'd lost interest 

I should do something though because the kids fill the vacuum 

My grandson has decided he will stay here during the working week 
I need to chill Grandma, our house is too noisy with two young kids 

Read for that you get me up and make me breakfast, prepare me a salad to take to work 
Make my tea, wash my clothes 
And sooth my troubled brow after a hard day in the city

Which I'm only just learning about in a big accountancy firm 

To say nothing about pressing my suits

But hey one day this 18 yr old will be a man

And his grandad will listen to his day, I don't because I'm too quick to look for solutions

Usually mine 

So between us we allow him to grow in a different way to his mum and stepdad

Who are brilliant 

And his dad 

We are who we are and he chooses to keep us in his loop

As does his sister our Megs and young Albert 

But there is another 7 to go 

Do I have the energy

Aldra


----------



## Brock (Jun 14, 2005)

Patp, my missus gave up work before her retirement date because she wanted to spend more time running the house. She is driven to keep the house clean, cook great meals, look after our health & well-being etc. I even catch her DIYing at times. The gardening is split between the two of us with me being the bushes and lawn man, she does the flowers. We just focus on making the garden tidy and suitable for birds - she's very keen on feeding the birds.

I had extra space created in the kitchen for her baking, she has space to do her craft work, and for Christmas I bought her a school bell that she can ring when it's meal time. She's an ex-dinner lady/teaching assistant/nursery nurse, special needs teacher and likes the bell!

Mrs R always liked the domestic side of life. She has a clear idea of what she wants the house to look like, how it should operate, and how we should behave. This has restored her sense of purpose, and value, which she lost in the last year of working. 

Aristotle says , “We do many things for the sake of something else, for example we work to eat. Unless there is something done for its own sake, there is no point doing anything.”


----------



## nicholsong (May 26, 2009)

Brock said:


> .
> 
> Aristotle says , "We do many things for the sake of something else, for example we work to eat. Unless there is something done for its own sake, there is no point doing anything."


I rather like that - thanks.

Geoff


----------



## buxom (Mar 20, 2008)

Like previous we have worked since leaving school at 15 and worked all our lives and the last 12 in same job so we were lucky we managed to get part time in the last few years and as we have always shared the same interests the full retirement part was easy though brief as we started working for one of the caravan clubs 8mthh contract and winter in Spain, so feel blessed that we have both still got our health and remain active.Enjoy


----------



## Mrplodd (Mar 4, 2008)

Pat

As far as your garden is concerned the trick is to do a little bit at a time. There's no rush at all, you don't have to do it all on Saturday and Sunday, do you?

At our last house we had a huge and unkempt garden to deal with, it was daunting UNTIL a TV programme where Monty Don explained that in such a garden it's impossible to do it all at once. 

So we split the garden into a number of areas and came up with a rough idea of what we wanted for the garden overall and what each of the areas would be. We then dealt with each area in turn. That way we had an "end plan" (of sorts) and a pretty good idea of what we wanted for each "area" BUT we were not trying to do it all at the same time. A simple idea that really works.

Plants are actually pretty difficult to kill, if they look unhappy they are unhappy, So you move them to a different location and see how they fare, and so on. Remember a garden evolves over years, it's not made in four weekends! YOU DONT NEED TO RUSH, you have plenty of time now don't you??

The hardest thing I found was adapting to the fact that I now had 7 day, not 2 day, weekends!

So slow down, stop wearing a watch, take all but one of the clocks out of your house, take a deeeeep breath, and remember that deadlines don't exist for you any more. Get the map books out and start planning your next trip away in the MH. Think about going for a long time now, that's what we are doing, 6 weeks for starters (we have already done many years with a month away at a time so 6 weeks is just a little bit longer!)

Relax and just enjoy the fact that you have ONLY yourselves to please, don't plan too much, take each day as it evolves. We have just got back from a matinee at the theatre (half price 'cos were seniors) followed by a wander around IKEA where we bought a few things to "improve" the house (and caravan) followed by a spot of tea and leisurely drive home again, lovely!


Andy


----------



## patp (Apr 30, 2007)

I remember, Aldra, that lots of groups were full at the U3A. It is obviously very popular. I would start to push some of those jobs back to your grandson! It is part of life to take care of yourself while going to work.


I think that worrying about the long term is my problem. I should take one day at a time. I am guilty of thinking that if I do that job today what am I going to do tomorrow? Then sometimes, when the clubs that I attend are all open, I think that I am not going to fit everything in! As I say I am not short of things to do just satisfaction in doing them. I attend a walking group on Mondays, singing group on Tuesdays, Chit Chat group on Wednesdays then have to fit the shopping and housework and gardening in the rest of the week. So, you see, not short of activities, just that elusive feeling of being part of a team.


Perhaps volunteering at the RDA might plug that gap? We shall see. Might have to give up one of the others though!


----------



## PeteFarnell (Nov 20, 2013)

rayrecrok said:


> Get your feet up and take it easy, you will soon get used to it... I got the hang of it by lunchtime, mind you I am a quick learner!..
> 
> ray.


Lunchtime, what took you so long? I was in retirement mode before I turned the key in the ignition to drive out of the works car park on the last day!

Seriously though, having something to do is important, I've been involved with mountain rescue for many years now, retiring early whilst still fit has given me the opportunity to spend a lot of time helping to run the team, going out to visit community groups and schools to talk about our work.

Also it means I'm available for call outs and having a search dog means there lots of those, all over the north of England.

It isn't important what you do, just find something that interests you and do it!


----------



## BillCreer (Jan 23, 2010)

nicholsong said:


> I rather like that - thanks.
> 
> Geoff


I'm envious of you Geoff because you've always been a Pilot in full control of your on destiny. Most of us go through life as passengers or crew, either through ability or circumstances.
For me retirement is my opportunity to be the Pilot and I love it.

Confucius he say... Woman who cooks meat and peas in same pot very un-hygienic


----------



## nicholsong (May 26, 2009)

BillCreer said:


> I'm envious of you Geoff because you've always been a Pilot in full control of your on destiny.


Bill

I regret to say that is only true of the flyng but not of my lifestyle in terms of where I wished spend my time; if you read my post above you will see that I cut short my career with BA because they posted me twice to Jersey against my will, and I only regained control of my destiny by quitting BA, and flying after 8 years. I went back to it later on a temporary basis, but only where I wanted to be.

As I said before the job was great but most airline man-management is poor. I did have one job later where it was good, because it was basically operating one aircraft on Lease to Monarch and we crews managed the operation ourselves, and it worked well for us and the owner because we crewed Boeing 737-300 24 hours a day for 7 days a week with 5 crews - that would be the envy of many airline management, when most are utilising 7 crews or more. We were rewarded well financially and with 16 days off in 35.

Geoff


----------



## BillCreer (Jan 23, 2010)

The "Pilot" was only meant as a metaphor Geoff but what you have had is the ability and or courage to make major changes in you life. Most of us have had to go with the flow through circumstances beyond our control.


----------



## JanHank (Mar 29, 2015)

*We´re still a team*

The year before we retired we bought this piece of land in Germany. Planning the place we wanted to build was done with a ruler and drawing board by yours truly (I am not and never could be an architect, a professional made the final drawing) It was fun planning the place.
The following year we closed our precision engineering business, no redundancies because it was only he and me.
The bungalow was sold within a week of putting it on the market and we moved lock stock and barrel to Germany bringing quite a bit of machinery with us , but a lot was sold on eBay with the help of a neighbour ( at that time we didn´t have a computer or even know about eBay until the neighbour suggested it.)
We rented a place in the village while this house was being built, we could cycle down to see how things were going. I wouldn´t want to go through it again, so many hiccups, but it was all part of the adventure. 
We moved into the house in September 2005 and then another headache started, finding curtain material, good carpets, wallpaper, someone to build a kitchen and fitted cupboards. We had no idea this would be so difficult, but in the end we succeeded. 
During this time we also had the driveway done then the garden which still looked as if a bomb had dropped, mountains of dirt & stones everywhere.
Its been very hard work making everything as we wanted it too be, unfortunately some things will never be right, but thats another story.
Jan.


----------



## aldra (Jul 2, 2009)

I wonder if it's your memories of a team Papt 

My memories of team work

Well I was the manager of a large team

I was a leader and I think I led well

Well my team voted that I did

My team dealt with vulnerable adults, were all professional people

At all levels


----------



## aldra (Jul 2, 2009)

I wonder if it's your memories of a team Papt 

My memories of team work

Well I was the manager of a large team

I was a leader and I think I led well

Well my team voted that I did

My team dealt with vulnerable adults, were all professional people

At all levels from hands on carers, nurses , social workers

And I fronted the Kosovan refugee programme in our area

And now retired I just care for my family

It's not world changing 

And my grandson would prepare his own dinner ,wash his own clothes etc

But he doesn't need to

I need to continue to care, I have all my life
And I take pride

Maybe wrongly 

That my lot want still want that care

How many times in my childhood did I want someone to really care about me?

Well none of mine will

Because my kids really care about their kids

I really care about them 

And Inspite of Albert who loved me unconditionally 

The lonely unloved kid in children's homes still hovers deep down

And I'm happy that it does

It's part of who I am

Warts and all its ME
Aldra


----------



## patp (Apr 30, 2007)

Perhaps this feeling of needing to be part of a team comes from our make up. In ancient times we would have used teamwork to survive. Caring for large families and hunting etc all involved teamwork.


Aldra you are still part of a team. Your family. 


As families spread out now that makes it more difficult perhaps? Children used to stay in the same village as their parents, or move just down the street. Sons followed their fathers into the same line of work. All of them would be part of the team. Grandma getting up in the night to soothe a crying baby or taking a demanding toddler for a few hours. All teamwork.


----------



## Pudsey_Bear (Sep 25, 2008)

patp said:


> Just wondered if, upon retirement, anyone else missed or is missing the teamwork of being at work?
> 
> I even went back to work for a while.
> 
> Now fully retired but I am struggling with the concept of pleasing myself all day every day. I suppose, having worked as part of a team in lots of situations for nearly fifty years, it will come as a bit of a culture shock. You think it is going to be great and then it just is not what you thought it would be.


You could start to enjoy just pleasing yourself instead of some boss or team leader, it's a only a change of pace really, I was a van driver and every job was a rush job. We had office staff, and I was always invited to the work night drink, or parties etc, but I made it a rule a long time ago to keep my working and home lives firmly apart, I am very much a loner, have no problems being alone, happy with my own company most of the time.

Now unless I have a timed appointment, I'll get there whenever, more relaxed, safer and in a better mood, the first few months of not having to get up and go to work were a mixed blessing, I was no longer of use, but I soon got over that, now I don't seem to have time to do the jobs when they need doing, spend way too much time on here though, the MoHo is currently sorned as family commitments mean no holidays for a while or we'd be off at every opportunity, lord know what peeps without do with there time, it must be awful to be retired and no means of escape.

I am also grateful that my date of birth did not preclude me from retiring at 65, unlike some poor buggers caught in that ill conceived trap, Liz included.

Now if only I had a decent wedge in the bank.


----------



## Pudsey_Bear (Sep 25, 2008)

mgdavid said:


> I say to people who claim they're bored - come over, I'll share my toys - but most people don't want to get their hands dirty or think they don't have the ability.


Ha, you'd need to chase me off


----------



## mgdavid (Nov 27, 2014)

Kev_n_Liz said:


> Ha, you'd need to chase me off


no doubt, because I gather you're a useful & competent northerner. 
The vast majority of southerners have never done anything with their hands, the main reason sometimes I am embarrassed to be one.


----------



## Pudsey_Bear (Sep 25, 2008)

mgdavid said:


> no doubt, because I gather you're a useful & competent northerner.
> The vast majority of southerners have never done anything with their hands, the main reason sometimes I am embarrassed to be one.


OOH I couldn't possibly comment, but some suverners might shortly > >

Sits back and waits for the fan to go brown.


----------



## HermanHymer (Dec 5, 2008)

What an amazing, accomplished, happy, fun-loving, positive, encouraging bunch of folk you are! 

I am part of a community of quilters, both local and national. I used to work in a quilt shop for the sheer pleasure of inhaling the fabrics, helping creatively challenged folk design and pick compatible fabrics for their projects... and chat to like-minded souls. The laughter, the camaraderie, emotional support in times of stress, and naked happiness was awesome. Now I belong to a couple of guilds, and belong to a discrete (not discreet) group of qualified quilt teachers locally. We whatsapp all the time, sharing and caring. I am truly blessed. (BTW I have never met an unhappy quilter.) I also doa slew of other things, and so enjoy my motorhoming in the summer.


----------



## JanHank (Mar 29, 2015)

HermanHymer said:


> What an amazing, accomplished, happy, fun-loving, positive, encouraging bunch of folk you are!
> 
> I am part of a community of quilters, both local and national. I used to work in a quilt shop for the sheer pleasure of inhaling the fabrics, helping creatively challenged folk design and pick compatible fabrics for their projects... and chat to like-minded souls. The laughter, the camaraderie, emotional support in times of stress, and naked happiness was awesome. Now I belong to a couple of guilds, and belong to a discrete (not discreet) group of qualified quilt teachers locally. We whatsapp all the time, sharing and caring. I am truly blessed. (BTW I have never met an unhappy quilter.) I also doa slew of other things, and so enjoy my motorhoming in the summer.


My sister-in-law in Australia is a quilter, she´s travelled all over the world and made many quilting friends.Ann Richardson, do you know her?
Jan


----------



## Pudsey_Bear (Sep 25, 2008)

Come on lads, quick post something interesting before it becomes a quilting thread > >


----------



## aldra (Jul 2, 2009)

I feel guilty

I think I should have an interesting hobby
Should be out there doing something

But I'm not

I'm not interested in shopping, have no interest in acquiring new possessions

Can't actually say I'm in love with the MH if I'm honest
I love to read, enjoy cooking

But sometimes I feel I just enjoy the daily rituals. 
The house the garden looking nice

Planning and cooking meals
The seasons of flowers 

The indoor plants

The tub of hyacinths in flower in the hall 

But it doesn't use any gifts I may have

But sometimes I feel I just haven't the energy for more

Sandra


----------



## BillCreer (Jan 23, 2010)

Being good at quitting does not necessarily make you a bad person. I'm a natural quitter and when the opportunity for redundancy came six years ago I grabbed it with both hands.
I've seen the Wife doing something strange with patches of cloth but that's another story


----------



## Penquin (Oct 15, 2007)

Life here in rural France after retiring is VERY different to working in a busy school entertaining youngsters 5 days a week, and yes the teamwork is missing now, as is the ability for me to help others through the ambulance service BUT there are many new challenges around me and IMO it is important to grasp new things as they occur.....

I was very much in danger of sitting on the laptop all day watching TV - MrsW decided we should rescue a puppy - it's all Sandra's fault as Shadow had a very bad influence on her.....

So we acquired Bob - a Border Collie and that gives me plenty of chance to engage socially with him and with other dog owners. We were in Romsey for Christmas and Bob seems like a magic wand - people kept coming up to talk to him and me - that was a new experience and one that I really welcomed as Bob broke the ice every time.....

That may be something that you also might consider if you don't have a dog already - they are great companions and take you to lots of new places as well as giving you the exercise that we all need and try to avoid for instance when it is raining.....

We are out now EVERY day walking through the woods beside our garden - which we had only ventured into TWICE before we go Bob....

Dave


----------



## aldra (Jul 2, 2009)

I'm delighted you acquired Bob

Disappointed you didn't aquire Shadow

I'd have thrown in his lead for free

Crafty hound, he stalked Leslie only enough to make her feel a dog would be great

Followed at her heels

Wormed his way into the kitchen along side her

And then got into the van and left with us 

Don't blame me 

Blame the hound from hell

Smug bugger 

Loves everyone , who eye me up as a liar as I try to explain this dog is a nightmare

Unless they approach the house or Mh

And meet him in killer mode 

I swear he winks at me 

Sandra


----------



## LadyJ (May 9, 2005)

Hi Pat

You could join the rally team on here you know the ropes and we are desperate for marshals
also we could do with more rallies setting up in different areas.

Jacquie


----------



## patp (Apr 30, 2007)

Hello Jacquie!


Ha ha. Will give it some thought.


We did organise a little rally here, at home. for some full timers once. It went off ok. Must post in the full timing section to see if any of them remember it


----------



## patp (Apr 30, 2007)

Sandra you are not a bad person because you do not have any hobbies. I don't have any, apart from dog walking. I, too, hate shopping. Not even interested in keeping house really.


I do agree that a dog makes a huge difference to your social life. We joined a walking group and took Tigan (Romanian for Gypsy) along with us. He certainly broke the ice. If the walk leader takes too long over the Health and Safety talk he starts barking! They say that all you need to make friends is a dog or a baby!


----------



## aldra (Jul 2, 2009)

I'm definitely not a bad person part

But I'm bordering on a boring person

I need to get a life

Butbetween cancer and a hound from hell

6 kids and 10 kids 

Im struggling 

Aldra


----------



## Brock (Jun 14, 2005)

Aldra, I suppose you could take up being boring as a hobby!

I've always preferred to talk with people about their life than their hobbies. Such conversations are much more varied and enlightening. So stick with living your life; you'll always be good company. 

My wife's uncle used to bore us about his cabbage patch until one day my youngest asked the uncle what he did during the war. Turns out he crewed on submarines doing the North Africa to Malta run under constant bombardment. A more interesting conversation developed!


----------



## cabby (May 14, 2005)

Dear aldra, you forget that as we get a little older, say 62,00 we find it less easy than we did when 40 ish. you look after your brood much too well, when you write about the meals you cook I drool and nearly jump into the van and rush up there,I expect I would be at the end of a long queue.But I ask why do you not let them help out a little bit more, I am sure they would love to if you would only let them, it would not take the magic away because that is you and that young man you share your life with, plus must not forget Shadow.

cabby


----------



## aldra (Jul 2, 2009)

Gosh cabby

I've forgotten 62

Nearly 72 

Cooking I enjoy and it's one thing I can do

The whole point of the Friday meal is they come eat relax and go

It's not their fault

For years they never cleared up

I guess I'm getting older

But I guess they don't recognise it
We are just as we always were

Mum and dad , grandma and grandad

There to sort out problems

Find solutions just as we have always done

But we are certainly not redundant yet

And if you jumped in the van to share a meal you would make my day cabby

The sharing of a meal is really important to me 

I think it holds together a family

And at the end of the day holding this family together is so important to me

And I think once we are gone they will hold together
They are close and friends 

And for me with no family outside this one
Raised in children's homes
It's probabally more important than it should be

But hey we are what we are

Sandra


----------



## HermanHymer (Dec 5, 2008)

Patp there are quite a few members in East Anglia. If you organise a rally sure there'll be a crowd and subject to good timing I will too.


----------

