# As I've matured



## Spacerunner (Mar 18, 2006)

As I've matured...

Author: unknown

As I've Matured... 
I've learned that you cannot make someone love you. All you can do is stalk them and hope they panic and give in. 
I've learned that one good turn gets most of the blankets. 
I've learned that no matter how much I care, some people are just jackasses. 
I've learned that it takes years to build up trust, and it only takes suspicion, not proof, to destroy it. 
I've learned that whatever hits the fan will not be evenly distributed. 
I've learned that you shouldn't compare yourself to others - they are more screwed up than you think. 
I've learned that depression is merely anger without enthusiasm. 
I've learned that it is not what you wear; it is how you take it off. 
I've learned that you can keep vomiting long after you think you're finished. 
I've learned to not sweat the petty things, and not pet the sweaty things. 
I've learned that ex's are like fungus, and keep coming back. 
I've learned age is a very high price to pay for maturity. 
I've learned that I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy it. 
I've learned that we are responsible for what we do, unless we are celebrities. 
I've learned that artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity. 
I've learned that 99% of the time when something isn't working in your house, one of your kids did it. 
I've learned that there is a fine line between genius and insanity. 
I've learned that the people you care most about in life are taken from you too soon and all the less important ones just never go away. And the real pains in the ass are permanent.


----------



## pippin (Nov 15, 2007)

Pretty good, most of it rings a bell.

A little bit of intolerance from me though.

In British English an *ass* is a donkey whose *arse* is too bony to sit upon.

Too many jokes on MHF are copied from USA English without modification, I detest Americanisms!!!


----------



## Penquin (Oct 15, 2007)

Excellent - totally endorse some of those (although I would say from my experience that I would substitute "children" for "ex's" since we have been happily married for 36 1/2 years so I have no ex's...)

Dave


----------



## DABurleigh (May 9, 2005)

Very good! :lol:


----------



## Spacerunner (Mar 18, 2006)

pippin said:


> Pretty good, most of it rings a bell.
> 
> A little bit of intolerance from me though.
> 
> ...


Why? Do you also detest Frenchisms, Spanishisms etc.

Maybe you are setting your sense of humour too narrow.


----------



## pippin (Nov 15, 2007)

You are exactly right in your diagnosis Spacerunner.

I love playing with words in various languages.

I fact I cracked a joke in Welsh the other day, based on the _treigladau_ or mutations of initial letters of words.

The rules are Byzantine and are a constant source of confusion for learners, like me, of the language of heaven.

_Dy dy di_ (pron: Duh, Dee-Dee) means "thy house"!

It is just that there is something about many Americanisms that grate.

It's just me I 'spose.

Have a nice day y'all!


----------



## DTPCHEMICALS (Jul 24, 2006)

When I reached the age of 18 I thought my dad new nothing.

When I reached 21 I yhought dad had learned a lot in three years.
dave p


----------

