# It is hard to believe



## JanHank

That my poor man can go through so much in just half a year, plus a whole year before that.

Where do I begin.
I rang the ward, the nurse asked if I could ring again in a few minutes because sister was busy. A few minutes later the doctor rang me.
It is the same as last time (5 years ago) , he is in intensive care, the nurses were concerned for me seeing him, but I told them I have seen it before.
He is tied to the bed, hands, feet and around his middle. He is unconscious, they have to sedate him because his movements are so violent and he should be still because of the artery they went though to plant the stent must not reopen.
He is sweating as I have never seen him sweat before, I asked them to take everything off him and the sister cut off the robe.
The doctor gave me a name for what it is, but I didn't take it in, I will ask again tomorrow.
What has caused it they don't know, but I suspect it has something to do with the colour they use. There is absolutely nothing I can do, he is not conscious, he is so disturbed its quite awful to see.

I sent an email to Professor Matschuck the surgeon who did the same operation 5 years ago with this result afterwards, who has become a friend, but he moved to another hospital in Dec., I had a reply when I got home, which is where I am by the way, he is at an important meeting, but said he will try to interact with Schwedt tomorrow.
The reason I am home is, this time I remembered my internet Wifi, but forgot the Kindle :frown2: I am lost without that, no books to read and no contact with anyone.

On the way there I was stopped by an unmarked Police car, it pulled in front of me and the sign *police follow* flashing in his back window. I said "I hope you can speak English, I am on my way to see my husband who is in the intensive care" luckily he could, but I still had to show him my passport, drivers licence and vehicle ownership papers, stupid barstuard. Then I had to turn round, he had led me off the main road to a narrow side road. "Where can I turn round" "about 2 km. down this road, he must have thought this old biddy needs a lot of room to turn. Well this old biddy didn't, she found a field opening/lay-by a few meters along the road and did a three point turn there.

If anyone knows a white witch please tell her/him we need some help.


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## nickoff

Jan, I have to admit that I've not been following the problems that you and Hans have recently been having. Sorry. By reading your post you must be at your wits end. Hopefully Professor Matschuck can shed some light on your husbands predicament and advise the hospital what needs doing to bring the problem under control. 
As for your run in with the local police I'm sure he thought he was following the correct procedure but unfortunately he could have been a bit more helpful. I do hope that things get easier for you and everything turns out well. 

Best wishes, Nick.


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## JanHank

Thanks Nick, it's all pretty unbelievable really, I don't know how we have stayed sane. I know he will be back to his old self in a few days, it's the days inbetween that are awful.

I forgot to say why I was stopped, he saw a motor home from the back with a German numberplate, GB sticker and a right hand drive, now that's really something to stop someone for. I knew I wasn't speeding because I had been following a lorry doing 40 miles an hour on at 100 km. 60 + a bit mph road.


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## patp

Oh Jan! How awful for you. At least they are doing all they can for poor Hans. Lets hope that this time next year it is all a distant memory for you. No White Witches here but sending lots of positive thoughts your way.


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## dghr272

Jeez Jan life can be sh1t at times, hang in there Jan he's a tough old dog, our thoughts are with you both and it's our hope for a speedy full recovery for Hans. 

Terry


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## JanHank

*A post I made on the very same scenario*

Exactly the same as now.

Old 19-05-2015, 13:37 Thread Starter
JanHank
Senior Member

*The worst week of my life*
Thank you all for your replies.
The worst week of my life was in January last year when he made medical history.
As I said, Hans has a heart problem, he already had 1 stent and had the second last year. I was waiting for him to call me to say it was over, but had a call from a doctor instead telling me Hans had become very aggressive, was this normal. She said they had sedated him. Luckily the doctor spoke some English, but not enough for me to fully understand what was going on. I said I would come and insisted on seeing the Professor who performed the operation, I knew he spoke good English because he had worked in the UK. The hospital is 1 hours journey away.
As soon as the prof. told me while he was carrying out the procedure Hans said "I do not understand" I knew he had Migraine Aura. I was shocked when I saw Hans strapped to a bed. It had taken 4 medics to hold him down and that was the reason for the sadative which we were told afterwards was nearly enough to knock out an elephant. After the stent is inserted you need to lay perfectly still for 5 hours to allow the vein to fuze. He was knocked out for 3 days, he had no idea when he finally came round that he had lost 3 days.
It is still not known why the migraine caused the violant movement, the professor has searched all medical books etc, but found no explanation.
It was the only time I have felt alone whilst in this country.


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## erneboy

Just seen this Jan.

How awful for you both. Fingers crossed that Hans stabilises quickly.


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## JanHank

*Update*

I have just finished talking to a lady doctor who spoke good English.

Hans has had a CT brain scan to rule out bleeding, all clear.

She asked if they could do another scan using the contrast agent to rule out a stroke, I refused, I know its not a stoke and I am still not convinced this contrast agent doesn't have something to do with it, plus he has had migraine auras since he was 18 and they have been mistaken for strokes and CT scans taken, found the brain, with no damage. :grin2:

I have just read the report I made in 2014 and keep in his medical folder and everything is identical, CT scan, Neurologist seeing him on several occasions as now.
If it runs the same course from now on he should be back in the land of the living by tomorrow midday and he won't have a clue what has happened.

I won't say I am relaxed about it, I will be very glad when tomorrow afternoon is here.


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## jiwawa

Jan, I'm so sorry to hear this. What a dreadful time you're both having. I do hope your prognosis is correct and that Hans is completely over this episode very soon.


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## JanHank

A phone call from a doctor at 11pm last night.
He has pneumonia, is in an incubator with ventilator.
As I had drunk a couple of G&T's at that time I asked if it was urgent for me to go, the doctor said there is nothing I could do, he is still unconscious, although he said in a coma, but I assume it's the state he is in with the strong sedative he is given.
I wonder how he got pneumonia when he has had an oxygen mask on all the time? I thought it was a bug you breathed in.
Staying matter of fact and living in hope he will soon come round.


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## eurajohn

Hope things get better for the both of you very soon.

.


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## patp

Sorry to hear about the pneumonia, Jan. Not an expert but I think it can be cause by fluid build up in the lungs as well as bugs in the environment. The fluid builds up because the circulation is not as good as it should be. Once there the fluid is a ripe environment for bugs to thrive in. It is one of the reason they try to get us up and about as soon as possible so that the body can deal more effectively with the fluid.

When Chris had pneumonia, shortly after his heart attack in 2013, they put on his notes "community acquired pneumonia" to distinguish it from the hospital acquired kind.
If Chris is anything to go by it is very debilitating and made him feel much, much worse than the heart attack did.

Sending positive, healing thoughts to Hans and comforting ones to you, Jan.


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## erneboy

Sorry to hear that Jan. I hope things improve for Hans today.


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## nicholsong

Jan


I just got up and came to look for any news even before I got my coffee, hoping that tthere would be good news.


I am sorry that there is this new complication of pneumonia, however he got it.


You must feel so hopeless, but as the Doc says there would not have been much you could do last evening.


You probably want to go there today, but again you will just be waiting for what they can do for him, which I presume will just be antibiotics for the pneumonia.


If it helps, keep talking to us through the day.


Wishing all the best for you both 



G+B


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## JanHank

You're all so luverly and it's much appreciated.

He is at least peaceful, no struggling against ties because there aren't any, I think they have changed the sedative dose. He is not in an incubator, but in isolation, probably my tired brain jumped to conclusion last night.
He has pipes, tubes and cables everywhere, drip fed, antibiotics, sedative, 5 tubes leading into a tracheotomy all quite shocking to see, I took a photo to show him because he's not going to believe what it was like.
Motley is a super dog he is no trouble to me at all. I try to play with him as much as oK can, but it's not the same as with his proper playmate.😡


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## Pudsey_Bear

Liz and I send our best wishes Jan, we're at a loss for what t say but as you know all on here and MHO are hoping for the best for Hans and yourself.

Puddle & Liz xxx


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## JanHank

Some people find it easy to respond puddle some don't, I am just grateful to you all for being there, helps me a lot. Just a click to let me know you've read it is enough.
I have had a little nap and will now make my way back to see him.


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## Pudsey_Bear

Hard to put feeling into worms Jan, we talk about you two often here, at the end of the day you're not just members on a forum, I see a very brave woman and a hard working man struggling to get through each day right now and I am the helpful type so feel a bit lost.


Liz mentioned just now that maybe his going into the workshop is a step too far and he's overdoing it even if it's just messing around with little jobs, he's not resting, he's old and it takes longer to get well again.


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## xgx

Very best wishes for a happy outcome for both of you.


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## HurricaneSmith

Kev is right, it's sometimes difficult to express our thoughts accurately, and clicking 'Like" doesn't always feel quite right.

Like the others, best wishes in getting Hans home as soon as possible.
.


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## JanHank

Er I know someone who was crawling about fixing skirting boards not long ago when he wasn't really fit>

When he has a little energy and he has a project in his head he is much happier than sitting on his bum doing nowt. He has wound down an awful lot Kev he used to be busy doing something all day, now the does pace himself well I pace him usually and has a couple of hours sleep in the afternoon.
None of this has to do with work, his body doesn't like being interfered with (handbags):grin2:buddy kindle altering my words) that has been proved on a few occasions.
From here.
He is still the same as this morning, but his wife tried to kill him this afternoon, I leaned over to hold him and knocked the air tube off, I suddenly found out I can still run, a nurse came immediately and reconnected it.
I'm now at the stellplatz sitting outside with a nice cold G&T. 23° with a nice breeze and a dozen white doves are circling above that belong to the house opposite and I have just this very minute witnessed a buzzard take one :crying: nothing I could do.

Kev, could you please copy and paste to the others on Owners?


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## JanHank

HurricaneSmith said:


> Kev is right, it's sometimes difficult to express our thoughts accurately, and clicking 'Like" doesn't always feel quite right.
> 
> Like the others, best wishes in getting Hans home as soon as possible.
> .


Do you know, when I have read something I think that person needs to know I have seen what they have written I always click the like, I have said before we need a 'read it' button and a 'that made me larf' button. 
Oh if I ruled the world >


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## jiwawa

Holding you both in my thoughts Jan.


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## JanHank

Nothing new about Hans to report yet.
I am about the biggest dope living, I am at home yet again, decided it was necessary because
A. my blinkin internet is not working again
B. I left my up to date password list, forgot to copy it for the van,I have one in the computer case, but had forgotten to update it as I have changed a few words.
There are a few things I can do, refill the water for instance, something I forgot to do yesterday in my rush to get ready to go earlier than planned.
I thought I would go and get an Aldi sim on my way home and then I could get it started on the home internet :grin2::laugh::frown2:
It´s Sunday, no shops open in this country on a Sunday.


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## patp

It is hard to know whether to keep busy and then rush around for visiting time or to shelve everything and concentrate on visiting. Whatever we do we end up messing something up and then beating ourselves up.
Be kind to yourself. Hans needs you in good working order


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## JanHank

He's still asleep, I must admit lying down he looks 10 years younger, only half the amount of wrinkles >
The sister said he opened his eyes and moved his legs this morning while they were attending to him. He has ice packs around him to keep him cool. I should phone at 10 in the morning when the doctor will be there and he will tell me what's happening and when Hans will be awake then hopefully I can be there when or soon after he opens his eyes.

I've had a rather frustrating afternoon, the station we usually get our gas from didn't have a gas pump, they are having work done. Went to the next station and had to get the young lady attending to do the gas because I have never done it, she made it look simple so I'll try myself next time then I wanted diesel  never done that in the van, I couldn't open the filled cap neither could she, so I went to the next station,where a young chap opened it with the ignition key, we were trying the other two keys:frown2: I made a real buggers muddle of filling, couldn't make the automatic switch off thing work so held the nozzle all the time and the diesel driped on the keys on my hand and somehow I managed to get some on my short trousers but didn't realise it, after washing my hands (in cold water) I couldn't make out where the smell was coming from and then spotted it on my trousers. Filthy stuff Hans has always said, now I know what he means.
I am not sure if I the bottles are full of gas or not, I will take a picture in a minute and perhaps someone can tell me. As it only took about €2.00 of gas I wonder if it's full or faulty. The blinkin gas door won't stay up, the catch is too week to hold the door, job for him when he comes out, I am making a list .>


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## JanHank

Don't know how good or bad I had to take them with one hand whilst holding the flap up with the other.


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## JanHank

JanHank said:


> Don't know how good or bad I had to take them with one hand whilst holding the flap up with the other.


I have my answer so no need to tell me they are full:grin2:

I'm sorry I don't tap the thank you button to your comments I just forget it's there, I'll do it now :laugh:


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## patp

Don't beat yourself up, Jan. If it were you in hospital then Hans would be struggling to cope with stuff without you.

Hope Hans is soon up and about and pestering to be let out of hospital.


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## JanHank

What I have been watching for a few mins.
In the middle of the picture are Cameroon sheep, Brown sheep, I don't think they need shearing.
Does anyone know if you can zoom in on the kindle fire?

Got some wildlife knocking on the van, May bugs so I'm not going out there.:frown2:


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## JanHank

He is slowly waking up, they prefer it if I go after midday, he is still on ventilation.
Now I can cry, but not too much.
More when I have seen him.


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## JanHank

I still haven't seen him, went at 12.15 and they asked me to go back at 3pm.
So I have had a snack, been to Aldi and got a SIM card because this Polish sim is costing a fortune.
I will now have a rest.


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## jiwawa

JanHank said:


> Now I can cry


That sounds familiar.... You can hold yourself together until the pressure starts to ease - that's when it hits.

Hang on in there Jan. Hope you get to see him soon.


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## JanHank

The defences are up again, he has sepsis as well as pneumonia.
Rather confused this afternoon, but the head doctor said this is normal until the sedative clears his system. I was told he will make a full recovery, I have to believe that.
It is so hot, 30° this aftetnoon, hotted tomorrow and 37° on Wednesday.
What a time to have a heatwave, just when I especially don't want it.
I will have to go home and leave Motley in the house and visit Hans in the evening on Wednesday because I have no choice.


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## erneboy

Sorry to hear that Jan. I'll keep hoping for better news.


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## nicholsong

JanHank said:


> The defences are up again, he has sepsis as well as pneumonia.
> Rather confused this afternoon, but the head doctor said this is normal until the sedative clears his system. I was told he will make a full recovery, I have to believe that.
> It is so hot, 30° this aftetnoon, hotted tomorrow and 37° on Wednesday.
> What a time to have a heatwave, just when I especially don't want it.
> I will have to go home and leave Motley in the house and visit Hans in the evening on Wednesday because I have no choice.


Oh Jan

Hans and you are really 'under the cosh'

At least he is awake even if a bit mussy from the sedative.

It is good that the Sepsis was found while in hospital where they can hit it early before it gets a grip.

Did you really mean 'evening on Wednesday'? - it is Monday today.

All we can do is send you a hug and keep our fingers crossed.

Geoff


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## JanHank

nicholsong said:


> Oh Jan
> 
> Hans and you are really 'under the cosh'
> 
> At least he is awake even if a bit mussy from the sedative.
> 
> It is good that the Sepsis was found while in hospital where they can hit it early before it gets a grip.
> 
> Did you really mean 'evening on Wednesday'? - it is Monday today.
> 
> All we can do is send you a hug and keep our fingers crossed.
> 
> Geoff


I will stay at the stellplatz tonight, visit him tomorrow, and go home for the night, visit him Wednesday evening again. 
There must isn't any other way, youngsters are at work all day and there is nobody in the village I could of would leave him with.


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## jo662

Hi Jan,Im so sorry to hear about Hans medical problems.
I hope he is on the road to recovery as soon as possible.


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## JanHank

Very confused tonight, more awake, but seeing animals in the room, wants to mend my spectacles as that will be the last thing he can do for me before he dies. I told the doctor he thinks he is dying and his answer was 'rubbish'.
I have told you about professor Matschuck his first kardiologist, well I am in touch with him, he told me not to be worried about the sepsis it is treatable. He also said he may know someone who can help out with Motley, I am waiting to hear.


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## JanHank

Telephoned at 8am, there is no change from yesterday and they asked I call again this afternoon. It is very difficult for me as you will realise, but I know if Hans was in his right mind he would tell me to do exactly what I am doing.
I am at home, my head must rule my heart.
32° today 37° tomorrow, neither Motley nor I could stand that heat in the Navajo.
When its cooler later I will go in the car to see Him and Motley can stay at home.
It seems when I am there he knows I am there, but as soon as I leave he goes back into this strange world his head is in even when I am there, so hard to explain.


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## dghr272

JanHank said:


> What I have been watching for a few mins.
> In the middle of the picture are Cameroon sheep, Brown sheep, I don't think they need shearing.
> Does anyone know if you can zoom in on the kindle fire?
> 
> Got some wildlife knocking on the van, May bugs so I'm not going out there./images/MotorhomeFacts_2014/smilies/tango_face_sad.png


Whilst on camera you can zoom by placing your finger and thumb on the screen and slide them apart. Whilst zoomed in you need to hold in very steady as any movement will blur the shot.

Terry


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## erneboy

Wishing all three of you good luck today Jan.


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## HurricaneSmith

Thinking of you all Jan.

You must be worn out...... Drive carefully, as always.
.


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## JanHank

For years I have managed without a lot of sleep, now its coming in useful.
The roads I drive on are nothing like your English congested road don't forget, not much traffic in either direction no matter which way I go and there are 3 ways.

I am so lucky having all of you on all 3 forums to talk to and now I have this lovely little email from the professor which gives me a lot of hope. `The boys´ being the doctors, where he used to work, looking after Hans. :smile2: 

Hi Janet,
once again: it will all end up good!!!
The fact that Hans - in delirium - wanted to mend Your specs as last thing to do in his life left me with tears - it is soooo cute and again one of that so bitterly needed proofs that humans are good.
I love that.
I will talk to the boys - I know Dr. Hamann good...

G


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## patp

So great that Hans has so many people rooting for him. How sweet that he wants to mend your glasses!

It was a mini heat wave when Chris had his triple bypass and I had Georgia as a small puppy so I really feel for you. There were occasions where I had no option but to take her with me and just leave the car wide open. I trusted that people had other things to think about at a heart hospital than stealing cars and dogs! If I was closer I would come and dog sit for you.


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## icer

Jan 



Just caught this, What a Bummer!


Keep your head up


And wishing Hans a comfortable recovery


All the best Ian & Carol


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## JanHank

I don't think he will remember any of what's going on Ian, well I truly hope he doesn't.

I am trying to register my alditalk and discover I have to send them a copy of my passport 
God knows when it will be ready to use.


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## jiwawa

JanHank said:


> It is very difficult for me as you will realise, but I know if Hans was in his right mind he would tell me to do exactly what I am doing.
> I am at home, my head must rule my heart.


You're absolutely right Jan. You need to positively take care of yourself because if you go down you're no use to Hans. So be good to yourself, and also be kind to yourself.


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## nicholsong

jiwawa said:


> You're absolutely right Jan. You need to positively take care of yourself because if you go down you're no use to Hans. So be good to yourself, and also be kind to yourself.


Jan

Listen to Aunty Jean, even if you do not listen to some of us men.


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## icer

Jan

just back in

Use the Polish sim it's only money,! As has been said you need to be able to communicate easily and with less stress.

Sure use a cheaper version when convenient... but is that now?

Ian


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## erneboy

icer said:


> Jan
> 
> just back in
> 
> Use the Polish sim it's only money,! As has been said you need to be able to communicate easily and with less stress.
> 
> Sure use a cheaper version when convenient... but is that now?
> 
> Ian


Excellent point Ian.


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## JanHank

icer said:


> Jan
> 
> just back in
> 
> Use the Polish sim it's only money,! As has been said you need to be able to communicate easily and with less stress.
> 
> Sure use a cheaper version when convenient... but is that now?
> 
> Ian


:grin2:too late I have done it now, all up and running. 6 gb cost me 17.99€ lasts 30 days Orange was disappearing like ice melting. I need these things to occupy my mind Ian.
I had another email from Guido who tells me all parameters are trending in the right direction.
I wish someone could put Motley and me to sleep and wake us up when its all over and I can bring him home.
Nobody has found me a *white witch* yet :frown2:


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## JanHank

Bit more information.

My prof. friend talked about heart failure this morning, I wrote back and told him I didn't know anything about heart failure,
this is the answer I had a few minutes ago.

It is all one complex - and stenting coronaries is one part of the way out of it... And if the heart is weak, water gets stuck in the lungs and it all gets infected - like a pond without water exchange - and then You are in pneumonia and sepsis...
but even the measures for heart failure (called nt-pro-BNP) are slowly coming down as they should...


Its a slow process it seems so I have to be patient. 
__________________


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## peribro

Keeping my fingers crossed for Hans and you, Jan.

Peter


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## JanHank

No change.

They say he's still delirious, seeing and imagining things, I wouldn't wish my own worst enemy to go through what he and I are, it really is very distressing to see. I don't think he will have any recollection of it when he is out of it.

I told our *Un*adopted daughter about it yesterday, she is 600 km away and of course the first thing she wanted to do was come to be with her Mum, but I told her there is nothing she can do, I am better planning on my own without someone else to consider, we can talk on the phone, she also has her job to consider.

It was a wise decision to come home yesterday morning, I was busy all day, Motley was happy in front of the fan, only when he felt like it.
I couldn´t take him out until just before dark and then the moths and mosquitoes are about.
10 am it was 30° now 10.48 am and has already risen to 31°


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## JanHank

I decided it was time I told my family and friends on facebook, which I very rarely use.

So suddenly this unreal situation has become reality. My, this is not my husband defence, is over for the moment.

My niece, who is an organiser, is the first to answer me saying if I need her she is only a flight away.
I have also told her I am better alone, she says she is the same.
I have a nephew who knows because he emailed me this morning to tell me his Mum died this morning so in answering him I had to mention Hans. 
I have had a good weep and probably will again as people respond to the message, then I can get myself under control again before I start out tomorrow.


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## erneboy

Poor you Jan. I'm sure many of us wish we were close enough to be of some practical help.

Fingers crossed for you all. Keep talking on here if it helps.


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## nicholsong

Sorry to hear about the death, but Nephew whose Mum died? So what relation to you and Hans? Or is that 'Nephew' like your 'Un-adopted Daughter'.


I think you did right to get the news out to friends and family.


The initial reactions may be a bit hard to respond to, but then it will settle down.


Better than having to rely only on FCs and Facts, many of whom you do not know, and some of whom are wastrels and arseholes - not mentioning any names.


Geoff


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## JanHank

nicholsong said:


> Sorry to hear about the death, but Nephew whose Mum died? So what relation to you and Hans? Or is that 'Nephew' like your 'Un-adopted Daughter'.
> I think you did right to get the news out to friends and family.
> The initial reactions may be a bit hard to respond to, but then it will settle down.
> Better than having to rely only on FCs and Facts, many of whom you do not know, and some of whom are wastrels and arseholes - not mentioning any names.
> Geoff


I think the last comment is a bit naughty Geoff without a smiley, I am very glad I have all of them you included :wink2:

Hans has no relatives at all.
I have 2 older brothers still alive, Neil is the son of my late eldest brother who died a few years back.
I now have another message from another niece, sister to the first niece and cousin to Neil the first nephew, they all live in the same area, I expect I will hear from another nephew who is the brother of the first 2 nieces.
A niece in Australia who will no doubt react to my post later, 2 nieces in Scotland I don´t have contact with, 2 nephews who I haven´t been in contact with for years and another niece who I don´t have much contact with, no reason, no fallout, we have all just got on with our own lives.
Big family scattered everywhere.


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## patp

When Chris was hospitalised I found it much easier when I opened up a Facebook "Group" and invited friends and relatives to join. It was only open to selected people. I could then post updates, for every well wisher to read (which included half of our village), on his general progress. I would then phone our daughter with the details and to offer, and receive, support.

Is there someone that you could choose to phone, Jan? Your niece sounds a likely candidate but only you would know who would be supportive without being a nuisance. It does help to talk.

If everybody is offering to help is there anyone who could care for Mutley for a while? I think you are like me and find it best to do it yourself but I did allow friends and neighbours to pop in and let Georgia out for toilet breaks if I could not take her with me.


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## JanHank

I have several people I can talk to Pat, just been talking to one this afternoon and he is a great help. 
I will be talking to another *him* tonight :grin2:
This facebook messenger is a marvellous way of contact, either written messages, telephone or video talk, its only just recently I have used it.
Nobody in this village I would ask to look after Motley, I may be lucky with the stellplatz owners tomorrow, but its going to be 12° cooler tomorrow so if its not possible he will be OK for an hour in the van, its just that I leave all the windows and hatches open for him, some very clever dick may try to get in through one of the windows even though the fly screens are down, its been OK so far so have to hope it stays that way if I can´t leave him.


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## erneboy

nicholsong said:


> ...............
> 
> Better than having to rely only on FCs and Facts, many of whom you do not know, and some of whom are wastrels and arseholes - not mentioning any names.
> 
> Geoff


Cor. How inappropriate.


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## HermanHymer

Dear Jan, so sorry to catch up with your news. Keeping you both in my thoughts and prayers. So happy to read the docs believe he'll come through. He must be one strong old bullet. And your courage and stamina is awesome. Looking forward to the day I read he's turned the corner.


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## dghr272

nicholsong said:


> Better than having to rely only on FCs and Facts, many of whom you do not know, and some of whom are wastrels and arseholes - not mentioning any names.
> 
> Geoff


REALLY ............ at a time like this ???

Shame on YOU !

Jan knows those that really care.

Terry


----------



## Pudsey_Bear

How are you today old girl , any news about the main man this morning? you have our continued thoughts and best wishes. I wish I could have Motley for you, he could keep me amused for hours.


----------



## JanHank

Pudsey_Bear said:


> How are you today old girl , any news about the main man this morning? you have our continued thoughts and best wishes. I wish I could have Motley for you, he could keep me amused for hours.


:grin2:
No news of Hans yet, I didn't phone this morning because I know what the answer will be.
I have to tell you Motley has found new friends, this afternoon when I go to Hans he will stop with Uwe and Simone my landlords and all the other days until Hans is better.
When I went to their door this morning Motley stood with his nose almost touching the door and when Uwe opened it he looked down and said "Ah, here is my dog" so that was my chance to ask the question and the answer was "of course" happy me:grin2:I
I am now parked right outside their house under a tree using their internet.

I had a short email from Guido (prof.) This morning telling me not to worry, he thinks Hans will be back in the real world soon, maybe Sunday.
More later.


----------



## Pudsey_Bear

Lets hope he's right Gertry, all extremities crossed here.


----------



## JanHank

I forgot to say, from Sat or Sun I will be renting an apartment from them then I don't have to keep going home when it's hot. Everything seems to be falling into place, now just the main obstacle needs to surprise me and my world will be complete 😇


----------



## patp

So pleased you have found a solution, Jan.


----------



## jiwawa

So glad things are falling into place Jan - internet sim, doggie-sitters, apartment....

My own internet is very iffy at the moment so not always able to get online. 

But thinking about you anyway.


----------



## JanHank

Not quite that good. :frown2:

Hans is improving but still hallucinating and think they are trying to kill him or he wants me to shoot him, or take him home to die there, but the doctor assured me he will recover and he put the day as Sunday, I hope he ment this Sunday.
Motley jumped over the gate and came to where the van usually stands, tomorrow he will have to be tied, but not by hands and feet like his Daddy has to be because he keeps trying to get out of bed.
My Aldi card has used 10 gb since yesterday and I have run out of funds they say so I am back on orange. 
Hey ho, life is never boring. If there are errors you'll have to put up with them.:frown2:


----------



## erneboy

I hope things improve day by day now that Hans is awake Jan.


----------



## Pudsey_Bear

JanHank said:


> Not quite that good. :frown2:
> 
> Hans is improving but still hallucinating and think they are trying to kill him or he wants me to shoot him, or take him home to die there, but the doctor assured me he will recover and he put the day as Sunday, I hope he ment this Sunday.
> Motley jumped over the gate and came to where the van usually stands, tomorrow he will have to be tied, but not by hands and feet like his Daddy has to be because he keeps trying to get out of bed.
> My Aldi card has used 10 gb since yesterday and I have run out of funds they say so I am back on orange.
> Hey ho, life is never boring. If there are errors you'll have to put up with them.:frown2:


You just have to hang in there me old duck, he'll come out the other end ok as he's a strong old bugger.

how can you have used 10gb so fast? I have a 24gb three SIM and still have 21gb left on it a year later despite using it for forums, emails and sat nag with google, and loads of searches.


----------



## JanHank

Today I couldn't stay it upset me too much. They had to sedate him again and tie his hands and feet tighter to the bed. When they talked about him being better on Sunday I am wondering which Sunday they are talking about.I
Tomorrow I will be in the apartment and have there internet, at the moment I am sitting in the van near the antenna.
I won't be able to say anymore until tomorrow evening because of no good internet again.


----------



## patp

How distressing for you to witness Jan. I suppose one grain of comfort can come from the knowledge that Hans is unaware of all this.

Is there no way that he could be helped with drugs rather than the use of restraints? I suppose they are working in the dark without a diagnosis for his auras? 

Sending lots and lots of positive vibes that they are right about his improvement and that it is this Sunday they are talking about.


----------



## erneboy

Sorry to hear that Jan.


----------



## tugboat

I'm sure Hans will know nothing about what is happening.

Many years ago, an elderly lady neighbour of mine was admitted to hospital with a urinary infection. Apparently, in the hospital she was lashing out at the nurses with her walking stick. Afterwards she said she remembered none of it and, having a mischievous sense of humour, thought it was all rather funny. I doubt the nurses thought so at the time.

I'm sorry you had the upset of witnessing it in someone you love, but the medical staff will be all too familiar with such a situation. Much as you want to be with Hans, it might be best for you to stay away for a day or two, rest yourself, and just get verbal reports from the doctors. Hard, I know.


----------



## dghr272

Sorry again to hear you're both going through the wringer Jan, hugs from me.

Terry


----------



## jiwawa

And hugs from me Jan. It sounds desperately upsetting.


----------



## JanHank

I love all the hugs thank you.

I am at home, It was no good me staying because all I was doing was --- nothing, I can do nothing for Hans he is obviously not in control which will frustrate him. Seeing him as he is gives me no confidence he will recover, he is out of my reach in this very disturbing place in his head, but I am being told of other people who knew someone in similar situation and they recovered so although I am almost giving up I mustn't.
Guido will be calling the hospital later today and he will let me know what the situation is.
I am no longer the strong person I was a few days ago I'm sorry to say, but hopefully a few days at home and I will bounce back and maybe by that time Hans will also be on his way back to the real world.
How many times have I told you all, on the 3 forums, how glad I am I have you, if you think thats a crazy thing to say and hard to believe I hope you never have to find out for yourself.


----------



## raynipper

Yes very difficult times Jan and we can just hope Hans gets over this latest hurdle and back with you asap.
I think if I was in his position my wife would have lined up a replacement by now to program the TV recorder. 
But we have to stay strong and keep looking after ourselves to be able to cope when he does come home..... xxxx

Ray.


----------



## jiwawa

JanHank said:


> I am no longer the strong person I was a few days ago I'm sorry to say, but hopefully a few days at home and I will bounce back and maybe by that time Hans will also be on his way back to the real world.
> I


You will Jan, and he will too. It's natural to have a wobble in such a situation but you'll come back, strong as ever. Thinking of you both.


----------



## JanHank

I have just talked to a doctor at the hospital who spoke -English.

A set back, they have had to put him on the ventilation because he was having trouble breathing and have him in an induced coma again, the pneumonia is still there, but the sepsis not although because of the pneumonia it could return. He is now stable he said, he told me to stay at home and to call again tomorrow there is nothing I could do if I went. I said if a miracle happens and he wakes up his real self you will let me know won´t you, yes of course he said.
So how much longer this is going on for nobody knows. I must accept what is happening and be patient and strong.


----------



## erneboy

Sorry to hear that Jan. Fingers crossed for better new soon.


----------



## teljoy

JanHank said:


> So how much longer this is going on for nobody knows. I must accept what is happening and be patient and strong.


You are Jan. I wish I had half your fortitude. Let's hope for better news soon.

Terry


----------



## JanHank

teljoy said:


> You are Jan. I wish I had half your fortitude. Let's hope for better news soon.
> 
> Terry


I truly don´t know where it comes from, normally I am such a baby and cry about everything and anything, cry because I am happy, sad, because someone else is crying and stuff on telly.
Suddenly I have to be as hard as stone because it is the only way to cope.

But all you people, don´t stop having a laugh with me because that is part of my defence mechanism.


----------



## teljoy

JanHank said:


> I truly don´t know where it comes from, normally I am such a baby and cry about everything and anything, cry because I am happy, sad, because someone else is crying and stuff on telly.
> Suddenly I have to be as hard as stone because it is the only way to cope.
> 
> But all you people, don´t stop having a laugh with me because that is part of my defence mechanism.


You are showing you care as Hans is the one person who really needs you. You can't do any more than you are.

Terry


----------



## dghr272

JanHank said:


> I truly don´t know where it comes from, normally I am such a baby and cry about everything and anything, cry because I am happy, sad, because someone else is crying and stuff on telly.
> Suddenly I have to be as hard as stone because it is the only way to cope.
> 
> But all you people, don´t stop having a laugh with me because that is part of my defence mechanism.


The "hard as stone" is the brains way of helping you get through this tough situation, don't be too hard on yourself we know you're a softy at heart (sometimes). :wink2:

Terry


----------



## JanHank

I emailed Guido and gave him the latest, here is his reply-

Ooookayyy. 

So it will take a little longer, this time...🤪
I think it must be a little misunderstanding between Hans and the old god of medicine. 
He tries to tell You both it is not healthy weather outside - so You should stay inside anyway....

Do not loose hope! It will settle!!!


----------



## JanHank

No change.
He is still in a light induced Coma.

They are going to give him a brain CT scan and bowel CT scan today to see if there is any other problem.


----------



## tugboat

Any non-invasive testing is good news, Milly, so they get to the bottom of things. Gotta cover all the bases.


----------



## patp

You can be as wobbly as you like Jan. The only time you need to be strong is when Hans needs your support. Save it for then.

Let's hope some sort of resolution comes out of the scans. Either that they find an issue that can be treated or that all is as they thought and time is needed for recovery.

Sending more hugs.


----------



## JanHank

It´s never ending , 

the bowel CT shows he has an infection to go along with the others.
They have already started treatment. He is still sleeping the doctor said so obviously they are still sedating him.


----------



## JanHank

Guido´s answer after I told him

That is more good than bad - because it explains the prolonged situation!!!


----------



## patp

Nooo! Oh poor Hans and poor you 

At least they have discovered it and can, now, work on it. Who knows this may be the beginning of his recovery. I do hope so. 

More hugs coming your way 

Pat


----------



## jiwawa

JanHank said:


> Guido´s answer after I told him
> 
> That is more good than bad - because it explains the prolonged situation!!!


Agreed Jan. And knowledge is good. They know what they're working with now.

Hopefully the recovery will be fairly rapid.

Still rooting for you both!


----------



## JanHank

No change, no better no worse, still in a coma.


----------



## erneboy

Fingers still crossed then Jan.


----------



## patp

More hugs on their way.


----------



## JanHank

I have spoken to the Dr. in charge of the intensive care unit.
Hans is in a poor way, he has had so many infections, blood, lung and now bowel, the blood sepsis has been cleared the pneumonia is still not good and the bowel they are waiting to do an endoscopy, but not able to because of something and I forget what he said, there is so much to remember, he is still in the induced coma. They say it is going to take a while before he recovers.
I will go tomorrow and take our friend Erick and see the same doctor while I am there.


----------



## HurricaneSmith

That's not yet the good news we were hoping for. We are all thinking of you and waiting for better news tomorrow.
.


----------



## patp

At least the blood sepsis has cleared up so that his organs are being served by healthy blood. Pneumonia is never good but they are treating it. Let's hope that things are getting better one by one. Come on Hans you can do it!

Pat


----------



## erneboy

Sorry to hear that Jan.


----------



## JanHank

I asked both Guido and the other doctor outright, is he dying, they don't say no , but ´I don't think so´ maybe thats only because their English is not perfect. Guido added
There are some complications to this hospital stay and he is not as robust as he was - but I do not think that this will end up in a mess.
Dr. Lorsh said more or less the same.


----------



## erneboy

I don't know Jan but I'd guess that Doctors aren't given to expressing unwarranted optimism, so I'd believe what they were saying and take it as grounds for guarded optimism.

I hope very much to turn out to be right about that.


----------



## dghr272

I’ve also learned Jan, with doctors you need to ask them hard questions, keep pressing them and hopefully they can supply the answers you yearn for, but the most you deserve is honesty. 

Love and hugs.

Terry


----------



## patp

Predicting the course of an illness is like betting on the Grand National. Doctors get vilified if they get it wrong. Some people rally and recover despite all expectations while others are overwhelmed by their illness. Doctors will, therefore, be very reluctant to give a strong opinion either way while they still have treatment options open to them.

Let's hope they can diagnose Hans' bowel problem soon so that they can better target it with appropriate treatment.


----------



## JanHank

He is very peaceful, the colonoscopy was performed today and nothing bad was found just the inflammation (or was it infection) I get the 2 muddled. Anyway it is being treated, He is still on the ventilator, but Dr Lorch (a very nice man) said the induced coma is very light because they want him to breath the oxygen in himself and not rely on the ventilator to push the oxygen in.
I am pretty sure he knew I was there because I had to wipe tears from the sides of his eyes. I told him everything I could think of, I may have repeated a few things just to keep talking to him, Dr Lorch said he can probably hear my voice, but not necessarily know what I am saying and of course he can´t respond.
I told them his fingers looked like little fat sausages, Dr Lorch laughed and told the male nurse (who is with Hans most of the time or at least within watching distance) what I said, its water in his hands and arms from the fluid drip he is having, 

He has a second tracheotomy , they are feeding him through the first one and have made a new one for the drugs etc on the other side.
Whilst I was there the male nurse started the feeding process and fixed a bag to the tube that goes up his nose to check if the food was being regurgitated. I left for an hour and went back, asked if the feeding went OK and yes it did, no regurgitation. 
I stayed for another hour, probably repeated everything I said on the first visit, touched him it the places he doesn’t have tubes and wires, not a lot of choice, and was very brave.
I now feel more confident that he is going to pull through.


----------



## patp

Good news on the bowel investigations then. Sounds like it is going to be a "give it time" thing for the drugs to do their work on the infections.

So moving to hear your description of Hans and his treatment. You are being very strong for him. Be kind to yourself, too, Jan. 

Sending more hugs.


----------



## JanHank

I will not see him today so I have phoned, he is still peaceful, nothing has changed, he is not worse as they always say and thats important.
I will go to the stellplatz tomorrow and if it gets a bit warm I have a fan to use, they have elec hook up, but so far have not needed it. 
I have been very busy today with jobs that have been neglected and have allowed myself time to think.
SO ---- The Navajo EHU I broke last week Gordon is mending today, I took it down and Gordon brought me back in a rattly old van, the wipers didn´t work and we were having a few drops of rain, you know the sort, its dry before it hits the ground :frown2:

Whilst ironing I had time to think and I was thinking of when we were in business and the times Hans brought a job home that other firms couldn´t do, when I asked "How are you going to do it" "I don't know yet I´ll think about it" the jobs were always completed in super quick time and when he took it to the firm (of which there were a few we worked for) they would be flabbergasted. Other times he would say about jobs for our home, "I don't think I can do that" and I would say " I bet you can" and he did. 
The things he has never attempted are car mechanics and computers of any kind. 
The purpose of this story is, he doesn't give up and that is what I am now relying on.
Had a look in the shed because the swallows keep in and out through the gap Hans made by removing a board, we have a nest, that will please him.
They are harvesting the barley and the sunflowers are coming out, the maize in the field at the bottom of our garden is over 2 meters tall, suddenly I am seeing whats going on around me again. :grin2: 
__________________


----------



## erneboy

It's nice to see you appreciating the good things around you Jan.


----------



## xgx

*Jan*

Remarkable fortitude and positivity ... typical woman 

...and an example for us all, thank you.

Looking forward to hearing that Mr Fixit is back in fine fettle...


----------



## patp

They do say it is best to keep busy and it sounds like that has worked for you 

Barley harvest is a little way off yet here. We have a new crop of Rye near us. Not seen it grown around here before. It has a lovely blue hue waving in the field.


----------



## jiwawa

Thanks for the various updates Jan, so glad that Hans has made some improvement. We've had glorious weather today (not over-hot) and an unknown bird shouting at us as we walked down the old railway line.


----------



## JanHank

I don't know what I would do without Guido. Hans has fat arms and hands and he has a sore looking wound on one hand, Guido asked how Hans is today and I told him about this, within minutes he had written back to explain, can't copy and paste from the Kindle, but it's to do with the sepsis and flushing out the toxins.
He is a little better today the doctor said.
I am at the stellplatz very tired.


----------



## jiwawa

Hope you're in bed by now!!


----------



## JanHank

No change from yesterday, he is stable.
Tomorrow the chief is back, maybe he'll have a new plan.


----------



## JanHank

Today I had the feeling I was going to have to decide something and I was right.

He needs to have a tracheotomy.
Dr. Lorch explained it to me and suggested I phone or email Guido.
An hour and a half later I was home and started to write an email to Guido and before I had written 2 lines received an email from him. Dr. Lorch had phoned him and explained what the intention is.
Reading it is of course better than just hearing it to understand. I will of course give my permission

Hi Janet,
Dr. Lorch called me a minute ago. He proposes tracheotomy to ease ventilation and weaning from the machine later.
He will survive it - and will do so more easily with a tracheotomy - it makes everything easier for him, breathing - and far more important - returning to spontaneous sufficient breathing without any machine!!!

The pneumonia is under control with the antibiotics and they have isolated / found the bacteria and are treating that specifically.
I would strongly recommend getting the procedure done and rather quick.

the procedure in itself is no big thing and can be done right on the ICU, no theatre needed.

I am sure Hans will be fixing your specs again in the near future. Let me please (as far as I am allowed / able) recommend Hans and you to get that temporary relief done. It can be removed easily and the puncture site heals without sutured 


I am extremely glad I have Guido and the contact he and Dr, Lorch are having on my behalf.


----------



## dghr272

You're very fortunate to have such excellent advice, they are the experts and it's just good to see two professionals working closely together and keeping you informed, it's not always the case.

I suspect a lot of it is down to the rapport both Hans and you have with them.

Best wishes and hugs.

Terry


----------



## JanHank

I consider myself *very* fortunate Terry, when Guido left Schwedt hospital he gave us his personal email and phone number saying if we ever needed him not to hesitate calling.
We have however kept in touch for other reasons and I am so glad we did. I have a feeling Dr Lorch is also going to become a friend.


----------



## patp

How kind they both are to you. You obviously both deserve it. Let's hope this is the beginning of Hans' recovery.


----------



## JanHank

I have found in my life Pat a few people who on first meeting just click into being a friend from the start, these 2 are just 2 of them.

For instance, I met Hans on the 16th of April 1977 and we have not been parted since. 
I told someone that the other day and he called me a hussy :grin2::laugh:


----------



## jiwawa

You sound very much at ease with all that Jan, and that's great - and much to do with the support you're getting from these 2 wonderful medics. Well-deserved, I'd say!


----------



## JanHank

jiwawa said:


> You sound very much at ease with all that Jan, and that's great - and much to do with the support you're getting from these 2 wonderful medics. Well-deserved, I'd say!


What I write and how I felt to start with are two different things Jean.
First of all as I said I had this strange feeling I was going to have to make a decision, but didn´t know what that decision would be.
The short walk from Hans´s bedside to Dr. Lotchs office seemed a long way.
When he told me what they needed to do it was very frightening and that was why he suggested I contact Guido, but bless him I didn´t have to, he did that for me and made sure Guido was fully aware of the circumstances. I just had it in my head this was the end and I am sure I don´t have to explain to you how that feels.
Now I know its not.


----------



## jiwawa

Yes of course Jan - when I said 'at ease' I meant in that you'd come to terms with it, not that it was in any way an easy journey.

Sending hugs down the line x


----------



## patp

JanHank said:


> I have found in my life Pat a few people who on first meeting just click into being a friend from the start, these 2 are just 2 of them.
> 
> For instance, I met Hans on the 16th of April 1977 and we have not been parted since.
> I told someone that the other day and he called me a hussy :grin2::laugh:


And they said it wouldn't last


----------



## JanHank

He has had the tracheotomy, all is well, they are keeping him asleep until tomorrow and I will go to see him in the afternoon.


----------



## jiwawa

He's really been through the mill Jan - as have you. 

Keeping him asleep sounds a good idea; are you sleeping well yourself? - you'll need all your energy when he comes round!!


----------



## JanHank

I´m getting about 5 hours a night on and off, but when I feel tired during the day Motley and I have I lay down :grin2:


----------



## claypigeon

Hi Jan i havent had anything to say on this thread because i really dont know what to say except i hope and pray that Hans will get well again, i really think that with you rooting for him he will.
Although i have never met either of you i like to think of you both as friends, keep your chin up.xx


----------



## patp

Good news that all went well.


----------



## EJB

Having been away then missing this thread for the last few days gives me a little guilty feeling.....I hope you know that our thoughts are always with you.:smile2:


----------



## JanHank

I know everyone who reads this thread is thinking of us Ted, don't feel guilty, thats what I feel when I leave him at the hospital, but the doctor said I must not feel guilty, I am doing what I can , the caring for him is up to them. And they *are* caring for him every minute.
Today they are easing him off the sleeping drug slowly, because he has had it for a long time, it was explained, it will take a while to leave his body, in the meantime they are giving him a little bit. I think he knew I was there because once more the tears were on the side of his eyes, and I also thought he was trying to squeeze my hand, I felt a tiny bit of pressure on my hand.
Today they also started a dialysis because he has too much potassium in his blood and this can cause irregular heart beat, I was told by Dr. Lorch. (He spent 45 mins talking to me by the bed)
His kidneys are working normally.

This bit is not easy to explain sorry. If his body doesn't come to terms breathing through the tracheotomy or the trachea whatever its called, so they can remove it, they will have to send him to another hospital, they hope of course this will not be necessary but need to forewarn me it is a possibility, the other hospital will have the equipment to ween him off it and then withdraw it. 
It is going to be weeks and not days before he is well enough to come home.
I will see him again tomorrow and Erick will come with me.


----------



## Matchlock

My sympathies to you Jan, you are going through a lot of angst that no one should be subject to. xx


----------



## patp

Hopefully all will go well with Hans breathing.

Are things a little easier for you being nearer to him now?


----------



## JanHank

patp said:


> Hopefully all will go well with Hans breathing.
> 
> Are things a little easier for you being nearer to him now?


I´m not nearer Pat, I am at home.
The stellplatz is a lovely little place and when Hans is with me it will be a lovely little haven, but on my own it is rather boring, I have too much thinking time.
At home I am never bored and I can (please don´t think I am dotty :grin2 I can talk to him and even know what his answers are, I wonder if anyone else understands that.
I'll shut up or you will think I'm loosing it.


----------



## HurricaneSmith

Yes Jan, everyone who reads this thread is definitely thinking of you.

For myself it's the first thread I look for each morning. We are all waiting for the moment when Hans first wakes up, and also for the time when he returns home to his workshop.
.


----------



## JanHank

HurricaneSmith said:


> Yes Jan, everyone who reads this thread is definitely thinking of you.
> 
> For myself it's the first thread I look for each morning. We are all waiting for the moment when Hans first wakes up, and also for the time when he returns home to his workshop.
> .


I told him today I had thought about tidying the workshop, but then he wouldn't be able to find anything.:laugh:


----------



## HurricaneSmith

JanHank said:


> ,....................At home I am never bored and I can (please don´t think I am dotty :grin2 I can talk to him and even know what his answers are, I wonder if anyone else understands that.
> I'll shut up or you will think I'm loosing it.


Well I talk to the birds when they come near me in the garden.

If you're dotty, then I'm barking. 🤔


----------



## erneboy

JanHank said:


> I´m not nearer Pat, I am at home.
> The stellplatz is a lovely little place and when Hans is with me it will be a lovely little haven, but on my own it is rather boring, I have too much thinking time.
> At home I am never bored and I can (please don´t think I am dotty :grin2 I can talk to him and even know what his answers are, I wonder if anyone else understands that.
> I'll shut up or you will think I'm loosing it.


I don't think you are loosing it at all. I talk to people who aren't there all the time.

I hope Hans improves soon. Things have been very hard for you recently. You deserve a bit of good news.


----------



## JanHank

I was talking to him a lot yesterday the question was

How do I undo this EHU plug, the answer came when I had a rest.:hathat31:
"where the devil have you put that box with the electric bits in" 
"Don´t panic, open your eyes and all the draws and look" I could hear him say.:grin2:

So I found it I did it and its working. :hello1:


----------



## patp

All the best answers come from those questions you ask yourself


----------



## dghr272

Picked my daughter and grandson up at Barcelona airport yesterday, on the train back to the campsite she inquired in her direct way, "what's so interesting on your bloody iPad", I explained I was checking for updates from Jan, "who the hell is Jan" she retorted, thinking I had another women. :-D (well I suppose I do at the moment)

I explained the situation with Hans and she sat wide mouthed, she was astounded that it wasn't JUST a forum about motorhomes and that friendships are made via varied discussions and that we can laugh, cry together. I won't tell her yet about the spats on the Brexit thread yet as she can be quite defensive of me and likely to bring her ire out on my detractors, they think I'm bad but good help them if she started. :-D

Well anyway at the heels of the hunt, Sarah sends her best wishes too and hopes for a speedy recovery for Hans and that you both can enjoy your motorhome travels again with Motley.

Terry


----------



## JanHank

dghr272 said:


> Picked my daughter and grandson up at Barcelona airport yesterday, on the train back to the campsite she inquired in her direct way, "what's so interesting on your bloody iPad", I explained I was checking for updates from Jan, "who the hell is Jan" she retorted, thinking I had another women. :-D (well I suppose I do at the moment)
> 
> I explained the situation with Hans and she sat wide mouthed, she was astounded that it wasn't JUST a forum about motorhomes and that friendships are made via varied discussions and that we can laugh, cry together. I won't tell her yet about the spats on the Brexit thread yet as she can be quite defensive of me and likely to bring her ire out on my detractors, they think I'm bad but good help them if she started. :-D
> 
> Well anyway at the heels of the hunt, Sarah sends her best wishes too and hopes for a speedy recovery for Hans and that you both can enjoy your motorhome travels again with Motley.
> 
> Terry


What a lovely thing to tell me Terry, thank you.
When he is home I am going to make him read this whole thread (and the other 2 forums) he will be surprised at just how entwined we all are.
We now need to do what I am told Buddhist do,_ think him well.
_ I hope he will be a little bit more responsive this afternoon.


----------



## raynipper

Beware Jan. Some Buddhists advocate ethnic cleansing and are not the religion of peace we think they are.
But we all hope Hans recovery is swift and painless.

Ray.


----------



## JanHank

raynipper said:


> Beware Jan. Some Buddhists advocate ethnic cleansing and are not the religion of peace we think they are.
> But we all hope Hans recovery is swift and painless.
> 
> Ray.


Trust you to upset the apple cart and bring truth an reality into it 

I thought it might be nice if we all did a hmmmm (do Buddhist do that?) anywayup if we all just think of him being well again, when he is we can all claim we had a helping hand, or thought in it. :laugh:


----------



## erneboy

Like The Moody Blues song Om?






You need to wait for the music. It comes after the first minute.


----------



## dghr272

Have to say my only experience of a Buddhist was a QC representing us at an unfair dismissal hearing, I have to say he did instill a large degree of calm to our pre trial discussions.

Somehow the conversation got to the hatefull queues at the supermarket tills, he explained his mind process, he welcomes it as it gives him an opportunity to practice patience. It unfortunately never works for me :-D

Terry


----------



## JanHank

erneboy said:


> Like The Moody Blues song Om?
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> You need to wait for the music. It comes after the first minute.


I´d have a long wait Alan, Video not available to me :frown2:

OK I have gone direct to youtube and have it.


----------



## dghr272

JanHank said:


> Trust you to upset the apple cart and bring truth an reality into it
> 
> I thought it might be nice if we all did a hmmmm (do Buddhist do that?) anywayup if we all just think of him being well again, when he is we can all claim we had a helping hand, or thought in it. :laugh:


It's an Ommmmmm from me.

Terry


----------



## JanHank

dghr272 said:


> It's an Ommmmmm from me.
> 
> Terry


That was quite ah, ah, ah, ah ommmm. Could work :grin2:


----------



## JanHank

So, another thought, :grin2: this could become a habit.
I will be with Hans at 3.30 pm my time which is the same time in Spayne, but 2.30pm in the UK, we could all do an *Ah *Ommmmm together at that time. :smile2:


----------



## patp

I've got a doctor's appointment at 2.20. Do you think I might get sectioned if I start chanting for Hans?


----------



## JanHank

patp said:


> I've got a doctor's appointment at 2.20. Do you think I might get sectioned if I start chanting for Hans?


I know you think of him Pat so your `Ah Ommmm´ can be done anytime before or after the doctor. Do you really thing you will see the doctor at 2.20 on the dot? :laugh:


----------



## erneboy

Si.


----------



## JanHank

Now off, on my own, Erick Father in law has found him a job to do.
It was lucky I saw his message, instead of ringing me he sent a WhatsApp at 9am, I didn't see it because I have switched that phone off and put it in the drawer, I was just about to have a shower and I thought , "I wonder if Erick will come" he is not a very reliable chap.
Then I thought he may have sent a message on his WhatsApp, so turned the phone on and after fiddle arsing about with the stupid thing found his message. 
Never mind, he might wonder what I´m humming about at 2.30 :grin2:


----------



## jiwawa

JanHank said:


> .
> At home I am never bored and I can (please don´t think I am dotty /images/MotorhomeFacts_2014/smilies/tango_face_grin.png) I can talk to him and even know what his answers are, *I wonder if anyone else understands that.*
> I'll shut up or you will think I'm loosing it.


Absolutely - and it's a great comfort. 


JanHank said:


> I told him today I had thought about tidying the workshop, but then he wouldn't be able to find anything./images/MotorhomeFacts_2014/smilies/tango_face_smile_big.png


Ah, now, don't stress him out Jan!

Driving to Dunfanaghy with my granddaughter but will think of you and try my ommmmmm at 2.30!!


----------



## tugboat

I'm Ommming. Hope the neighbours can't hear!


----------



## barryd

tugboat said:


> I'm Ommming. Hope the neighbours can't hear!


Yeah but to be fair you go around Ohmmm'ing and muttering to yourself all day long so they will be used to it.


----------



## patp

I Ommmed, quietly, in the waiting room as, of course, doctor was running late. 

(I Aaarghed! after he told me to carry on with the same treatment - for my zinc deficiency - but to increase the dose from a tiny dose to the therapeutic dose normally recommended! All this time - since last October - I have been taking a useless dose!).


----------



## JanHank

barryd said:


> Yeah but to be fair you go around Ohmmm'ing and muttering to yourself all day long so they will be used to it.


Did you Ommmm coz there were a few wot didn´t I could tell :frown2::laugh:

I came away smiling, I am now going to write my report for all my friends then I won't be up half the night writing individual emails and posts.


----------



## erneboy

Not being much of a singer I played the Moody Blues video and hummed along with that. I cheated.


----------



## JanHank

I think most of you Ommmmed at 3.30 /2.30 ?

He is progressing which is most important. 
Today he :-

Coughed, Yawned, squeezed my hand a little bit harder than yesterday and also squeezed my arm not as hard as a baby, but there was movement. He can move his hands on top of the bedcover a few inches and lifted them a tiny bit.
When I asked if he could hear me he definitely nodded his head, the doctor saw that as well. He also nodded when I asked if he could feel my touch, but as yet he cannot see, I asked him to close his eyes if he *couldn´t* see me and he did.
I told him we were all Ommming at 3.30 and how everyone is thinking of him several times a day.
Then I told him everything I could think of, from the hare we have visiting the garden every evening to the height of the Maize in the field at the back and this morning they have cut the 6 foot tall thistles and other rubbish in the little field at the front, all things that he would be interested in.

Medically he is also responding, the oxygen has been turned down a little bit, he is beginning to breath better on his own.
Unfortunately Dr. Lorch couldn´t spend a lot of time with me today because he had another appointment, but he was very pleased to see me smiling and he is also happy with the progress.

I will be there tomorrow at 3.30, I reckon we should carry on Ommmming, what say you.


----------



## JanHank

erneboy said:


> Not being much of a singer I played the Moody Blues video and hummed along with that. I cheated.


Obviously Alan one mans Ommm is another mans Hummm


----------



## jiwawa

Ooh, didn't think there was any singing involved - mine was just a monotone....

Anyway, the thought is definitely there!!


----------



## JanHank

jiwawa said:


> Ooh, didn't think there was any singing involved - mine was just a monotone....
> 
> Anyway, the thought is definitely there!!


No singing involved Jean just an Ommmmm like a chant.


----------



## dghr272

JanHank said:


> No singing involved Jean just an Ommmmm like a chant.


Oh thank god for that, our choirmaster at school suggested I should stick to the woodwork class, shouldn't have made him that coffee table ! :grin2:

Terry


----------



## barryd

Ive been going Ohmmmmm! all day and my fecking jaw hurts! On Fruitcakes I Said I would get pissed and make an Ohmmmm song for Milly and Hans. I suspect there was a massive groan but I went and did it anyway. I had no intention of posting it here but Milly (Jan) asked me to. Sing along and go Ohmmmm!

Get well soon Hans and stay strong Jan. Not a single guitar! (im a penis painost peanut synth player now you know!)


----------



## xgx

JanHank said:


> He is progressing which is most important.


Good to hear that 

(I luv good news  )


----------



## patp

Barry that was amazing!


----------



## JanHank

I had a bigger smile on my face today, because he smiled at me twice.
I spent an hour with him, not talking all the time of course, chatted with the nurse as well. They really are looking after him extremely well.
Today he had the oxygen removed for 45 mins and he was able to breath on his own, after I left and when he was awake they were going to do it again.
The dialyses machine was removed while I was there.
He is understanding because the nurse told him to swallow because he was making a funny noise with the saliva congregating his mouth so when he needs to swallow again I told him to and he did.
After an hour he told me to go, not verbally of course, but by pushing my hand away and then he went to sleep.
Dr Lorch spent half an hour talking to me in his office. At the moment all is going well so we have to keep Ommmmming.
I will send this same report to everyone.


----------



## patp

Good to hear the positive news.


----------



## HurricaneSmith

Well that is absolutely superb news! 😀

Hans progress has quite made my day, young lady.
.


----------



## JanHank

What do you think it did for me then :grin2:


----------



## dghr272

He’ll be amazed when he sees all your new technology whilst he was chilling. ;- )

Terry


----------



## JanHank

Today he certainly understood me, I told him I was getting very tired did he mind if I didn't go every day and he mouthed no.
He has had a couple more 30-45 min sessions without the oxygen and did well breathing on his own.
A couple of times he pulled a face as if he has pain, Dr. Lorch told me yesterday it could be because he has had morphine in the drug mix and now they have withdrawn it he may have joint pains occasionally. 
A lady doctor who speaks a bit of English so with my German and her English we get on just fine. Anyway she came to tell me I must not go every day it was too much for me and I must have time for myself, when Hans comes home is when he will need me and until then I must save my strength. I know you have all been telling me that in the past few weeks, but it kind of made it alright for me to do it with her telling me.
I have arranged that Heike can telephone to see how he is, if there is nobody there that speaks English it won´t matter, she can tell me what they say.(Heike is our unadopted daughter who calls us Mum & Dad)
So tomorrow I will stay at home and maybe on Monday as well if I can :laugh:


----------



## erneboy

I'm very glad to hear all of that Jan.


----------



## jiwawa

That's good to hear Jan.

It is so draining, visiting hospital every day, even if there's no distance involved. 

Build up your own strength.


----------



## JanHank

I really must pay attention to Motley and our home, he and it don't seem to have had much time spent on them.
Mind you, breaking his claw didn't help the little man, today is the first day for 2 weeks he has played tennis, when we did try before today he kept holding his foot up, so the game ended before it begun.


----------



## HurricaneSmith

If it's Motley's dew claw, then it's not a problem.

Our little mut damaged hers on a Sunday. The emergency vet told me to take her over and it would be about £100.

I put her on the table, one yank, and it was off. I said "For goodness sake, I had no idea......£100 for less than 5 seconds?".

They said "You're right, no charge.". So I bunged into their charity box.
.


----------



## JanHank

It's his little finger on his left hand John😁
The nerve had to be cut right back because the claw broke off beyond the nerve so the end of the nerve had to seal and the claw is now growing over it again. We always keep his claws as short as possible because he stops on a sixpence when he chases and that's when he is likely to break one.
Dew class are just a nuisance, why don't breeders remove them at birth.


----------



## JanHank

I have just read about potassium in the blood, the reason Hans had to have dialysis because he had too much.
I should have used Mr. Google before, everything Dr. Lorch told me explained here.

https://www.webmd.com/a-to-z-guides/potassium-blood-test#1


----------



## patp

I think it is fairly common for potassium levels to fluctuate after surgery. Chris had a bit of a post op crisis after his bypass. They told him his potassium levels were the cause.

The reason breeders do not remove dew claws at birth is that it is illegal for them to do it. They have to be removed by a vet and that costs money. Georgia has all four dew claws. The two rear ones are really dangly so I am getting those removed whenever she next has a general anaesthetic. There is a lot of evidence that dogs need their dew claws for cornering (I know!) so we should not remove them as this puts strain on other joints further up the leg. Now I don't know what to do! Might have to take the advice of the vet though they will probably say "it is up to you"


----------



## JanHank

This morning Heike spoke to a doctor who reported.

He had already had the breathing tube removed for 1 hour this morning and they will do the same this afternoon.
He is cooperating when they need to do anything and he is having physio,:serious: didn't say what on.
He is having a few little spoons of blancmange to taste (pudding as they call it here)
His potassium level is normal as is BP and circulation. So it´s going in the right direction for his recovery. :grin2:


----------



## JanHank

I just checked with Heike about the physio, as she put it bless her 
"They are moving his arms and legs softly"


----------



## jiwawa

And that's the right physio for him at the moment.

All sounding good!


----------



## patp

Great to hear things are improving.


----------



## JanHank

Weekend over so my Dr. Lorch is back, I spoke to him and not much change since yesterdays report, it´s all going forwards not backwards and thats important.
I will go to see him tomorrow, I´ll probably tell better that them how `he´ is because although they talk to him its not the same as me telling him things from home and I will see his reaction if nothing else, they are more concerned in what the machines tell them and thats all good.


----------



## jiwawa

Excellent news Jan!


----------



## JanHank

Hoping for a surprise, but got a shock, he is not doing so well today, his breathing is very rapid and they don't know why.He was aware I was there because there were responses to things I told him.
Dr. Lorch asked if he had respiratory problems when he had migraine, no was my reply. 
They are giving him migraine medication in case that's the reason for his rapid breathing. It was not a pleasant visit, very upsetting in fact because I had hoped to find a marked improvement.
I gave him a good talking to, told him he can't give up because we still have so much to do together and I had already got jobs lined up for him to do when he comes home, this made him smile. 
While Dr. Lorch and I were talking I just turned and said to Hans "we are talking about you not too you" this also brought a smile. Even so he looks such a poor old thing, his cheeks have sunken in and the sides of his eyes because of not eating and chewing.

I honestly do not know what to think.


----------



## erneboy

Very sorry to hear that Jan.


----------



## patp

So sorry to hear of the setback. Lets's hope it is just a little blip and they get on top of it soon. I don't suppose it could be a sort of anxiety because he feels trapped? You hear of people saying that when they were very ill they could sense everything but not do anything so it made them feel anxious???


----------



## JanHank

Who knows Pat, he is still slightly sedated, whether he has any thoughts or not I don´t know.


----------



## nickoff

Flipping heck Jan you must be feeling like you are being torn apart. So hope that there is a big improvement soon. Thoughts are with you and Hans.

Nick.


----------



## jiwawa

I feel for you Jan. It's times like this you realise how fragile your optimism is.

But I'm sure Hans appreciates your joshing him. 

I hope they get on top of it soon. Hugs over the airwaves.


----------



## JanHank

jiwawa said:


> I feel for you Jan. It's times like this you realise how fragile your optimism is.
> 
> _But I'm sure Hans appreciates your joshing him.
> _
> I hope they get on top of it soon. Hugs over the airwaves.


If I didn't Jean he would think I was an imposter.


----------



## jiwawa

I know!!


----------



## EJB

Keep at it Jan:smile2:


----------



## JanHank

EJB said:


> Keep at it Jan:smile2:


After talking to a few people, receiving an email from Guido our medic friend, thinking about it, I don't feel so despondent this morning.
My trouble is Ted, I am not a very patient person, I always want things to happen yesterday.

Two things have lifted my spirit this morning, that have nothing to do with this subject, we saw one of Motleys dog friends this morning who we haven't seen for weeks and I thought he had gone to doggy heaven :smile2: and as we reached our garden coming home from our walk 50 meters in front of us a little fox was just leaving our garden, turned and looked at us, we stood perfectly still, he crossed the road, tucked into a few fallen mirabella and trotted off quite happily, no panic. I have put out some dry dog food on the stone at the bottom of the garden if the crows don't find it first maybe he will.:grin2:


----------



## JanHank

I forgot, there was a third thing this morning, Itsme the cat who we haven't seen for some time, was the first to greet us this morning with her tail high, poor little beggar is full of kittens again, that bit didn't please me.:frown2:


----------



## JanHank

*High noon*

Dr. L answered the phone saying "It must be high noon" I had arranged yesterday to call him then.
Hans is a little better, the breathing is not as rapid, all test as far as infections are clear, so as everyone keeps telling me, its going to take time, but we don't know how much time.
They are thinking about changing the ? breathing tube to one he will be able to talk with and respond with a yes or no, just a word to two..
I asked if he was a little more awake perhaps he would be able to tell them if he has pain, but they don't want to do that because he will be agitated and want to move more than they want him to, he still has all the other tubes and wires.

I also said I don't like to just sit there and look at him, there is only so much I can say and he agreed with me, it is better if I don't go every day and suggested I wait until Friday.

I am now allowed to call him by his Christian name.:grin2:


----------



## jiwawa

Glad to hear of the slight improvement Jan - every little helps.

Do you think Hans would like some of the music you normally listen to, playing softly in the background?


----------



## dghr272

You both are travelling a tough road Jan, I hope it becomes easier soon.

Best wishes and many Omms from us all in Spain.

Terry


----------



## patp

I bet you feel really powerless, Jan? Nothing you can do but you feel like you want to do something to help. Take it easy while you are able.


----------



## JanHank

patp said:


> I bet you feel really powerless, Jan? Nothing you can do but you feel like you want to do something to help. Take it easy while you are able.


What I can do is look after the house and garden, the garden is a bit difficult, the old back don't like bending and pulling out these giant weeds.
I hoping Erick will be able to spare me half a day when he's home from his trip to Köln.

Heike rang for me today.
No change from yesterday, still trying him without the oxygen twice a day and he is understanding them as when asked to lift his arm he does. I expect that's the physio he is having.
I will go tomorrow when the doc. is back and I can see for myself.


----------



## JanHank

*If you want to do a bit of Ohmmming*

Here is a recent picture of him for you to think about while you Ohmmmmmm :grin2:
Maybe it will help even more.


----------



## jiwawa

It will Jan.

Is that one of Itsme's recent kittens?


----------



## JanHank

jiwawa said:


> It will Jan.
> 
> Is that one of Itsme's recent kittens?


Yes Jean, a she and Itsme is already full of another lot poor little beggar.
I think the only way she is going to get spayed is if I take her. 
Then there is the black cat Metoo, this kitten, maybe one of the kittens from the black cat, it just goes on.


----------



## JanHank

A few people must have been Ohmmmming to the photo :laugh:

Before I left I rang Wolfgang and asked am I going to be disappointed again today, he said I don't think so and I wasn't. Today he looked more like my husband, he gave me a big smile, he was propped up so I could see him better, the cheeks didn't look as sunken in and the arms not as puffy. He was in one of his trial periods without the oxygen. He doesn't have the talking bit in yet, but tried hard to communicate with me, unfortunately it didn't work, "his wife didn't understand him" same old story. 
I asked the sister, who is Polish, but speaks a bit of English, if I could give him some water, He had a bottle on the side table, but no beeker to drink from, so she gave me one and said to Hans, "this is a day of water and wine, you drink the water I will have the wine," that made him smile. 
The sister said although this is a good day tomorrow might not be the same, that's the way it goes, one day up the next day down. His brain is still coddled, he didn't know who Motley was to start with, I showed him a picture on my camera and he seemed to recognise him.
Twice he asked me to turn round, I'm sure he is checking my hair so he knows its really me.
Keep on Ohmmmmmingx:grin2:


----------



## dghr272

Hopefully it’s just one of his many better days Jan.

Terry


----------



## jiwawa

That's such good news Jan!


----------



## JanHank

Day 2 😁 .

I showed him some photos today, also took him his specs, he did seem to recognise the house, but I couldn't be sure. I think he was a tiny bit better than yesterday, his eyes are looking more normal, didn't have such an amazed look in them. His smile was lovely and I did understand when he said three little words 😊.


----------



## jiwawa

Lovely!!


----------



## JanHank

Day 3 :grin2: he has already had 2 hours today without the oxygen machine, drinking nicely through a straw and they are happy with his progress. :hello1:


----------



## erneboy

Good news at last Jan. Excellent.


----------



## HurricaneSmith

JanHank said:


> Day 2 😁 ..........His smile was lovely and I did understand when he said three little words 😊.


Those three little words are so powerful and prove he's definitely getting better. 😀

Fantastic news.
.


----------



## erneboy

Not if they were "Where's my dinner" though?


----------



## HurricaneSmith

Funnily enough Alan, I originally typed "What no beer?" but chickened out as I didn't want to upset the lass. 😆
.


----------



## JanHank

HurricaneSmith said:


> Funnily enough Alan, I originally typed "What no beer?" but chickened out as I didn't want to upset the lass. 😆
> .


Bring me beer will probably be his first request.:grin2:

Someone else suggested 'where is Motley' , but non of those are little enough.?

I am sure I had put today's on here, probably didn't press the right button again.
Day 3. 
He had 2 hours without the oxygen machine, is drinking nicely through a straw and they are happy with how things are going.
I see I didn't press the wrong button, it's there..😁


----------



## Wilmannie

Jan, I’ve followed the thread but made no comments until now. 
I love the three little words (whatever they were!!). 
Bless you both, I hope every day is a move in the right direction.


----------



## JanHank

Just a quick, I have spoken to Wolfgang, Hans is good today, he's already had 3 hours without the oxygen, can understand what's being said to him and is trying to answer them.
I will go to see him later today, maybe 5-6pm. :grin2::laugh:


----------



## teljoy

Jan
Just give him best wishes from all of us who have been following your thread.
Terry


----------



## JanHank

Thanks Terry 
I tell him every time "my people keep asking after you" that's his name for you all , he calls you my people, he akshirley says your people meaning of course my people 😁 😅


----------



## jiwawa

Great news Jan, and it's great to hear the solidarity helps!


----------



## JanHank

Now I am home I can tell you I tried to telll you in the carpark as soon as I had left him, but I could neither like Jeans comment or add a reply on my iPhone, have to sort that out.
He was asleep when I got there and the nurse told me to wake him up, he had all night to sleep. Took a while to wake him, but the look on his face when he opened his eyes and saw me, big ear to ear smile and his arms came up to me and I can´t begin to explain how that felt to me.
He has been all day breathing on his own without the oxygen machine, they will attach it for the night.
I showed him the photo of the willow tree along the road that had been cut right back to the trunk early in the year, it now has a beautiful crown , he remembered the tree and he said/mouthed `amazing´ then I showed him a picture of the tree he had cut right down to just the trunk, his eyes and mouth opened wide in surprise at all the growth. 

Hopefully tonight I will have a more peaceful sleep, I have been dreaming so much I don´t know if I am asleep or awake.

This is the tree he cut down on the 27th Feb this year. I will show you how it looks now in a minute because its on the Kindle.


----------



## erneboy

Great news Jan.


----------



## jiwawa

I can hear the spring in your step Jan! Great news!


----------



## JanHank

I had an email this afternoon from Dr. Wolfgang telling me they are trying Hans with the speaking thingy and will try it again when I am there tomorrow.
He also told me they are going to get in touch with this Clinic

https://www.pgdiakonie.de/klinik-amsee/

He will probably be going there for them to what they call wean him off the oxygen. 
It could take as long as a month.
I will find out more tomorrow when I am there, his written English is not perfect so he didn't say too much.

If Hans does go to this Clinic its a lot further away, nearly 200 km. not an afternoon or even day trip so I will need to find a camp site nearby of which there are many in that area.

Maybe thats something the experts at finding campsites can help me with.:smile2:


----------



## jiwawa

That *is* going to be more difficult, but isn't it so fortunate that you're motorhomers with the facility to go and stay near the hospital?

It'll be harder to keep all the balls in the air - you'll need to remember to look after yourself.


----------



## JanHank

jiwawa said:


> That *is* going to be more difficult, but isn't it so fortunate that you're motorhomers with the facility to go and stay near the hospital?
> 
> It'll be harder to keep all the balls in the air - you'll need to remember to look after yourself.


I don't think he will need me to be there for the full time, he is very sensible Jean and knows there will be things I have to do at home.
Motley has given me a bit of a fright, about half an hour ago he tried to get up and was swaying all over the place, I hope it was just a one off and it's not in a sign of heart trouble. It is still very warm 27 and no breeze.


----------



## jiwawa

No, you'll not want to stay away too long - but neither will you want to drive there n back in the day!

I do hope Motley's OK - is he drinking?


----------



## JanHank

jiwawa said:


> No, you'll not want to stay away too long - but neither will you want to drive there n back in the day!
> 
> I do hope Motley's OK - is he drinking?[/QUOTE
> 
> Yes he is drinking Jean.
> 
> We have too see what the position is when he gets there because I think they are going to have to do more for him than wean him off the oxygen, he hasn't been in his legs for nearly 5 weeks so far that could be more by the time he goes, he will be so weak they will need to build him up as well with food and physio I would imagine. I will learn more tomorrow.


----------



## patp

Good news about Hans but sorry to hear Motley is giving you cause for concern 

If German hospitals are anything like ours then I recommend that you try to get copies of all records before Hans moves. It seems to be a common theme in our hospitals that the records do not follow the patient. When Chris was in Papworth a fellow patient, who was in line for a heart transplant, carried a briefcase full of medical charts everywhere he went. Every blood test or other test they did he would ask for a copy and put it in his brief case. We never knew why but perhaps he was, or was related to, a doctor? We certainly had problems with Chris's records following him to his home doctor after his heart attack.


----------



## JanHank

patp said:


> Good news about Hans but sorry to hear Motley is giving you cause for concern
> 
> If German hospitals are anything like ours then I recommend that you try to get copies of all records before Hans moves. It seems to be a common theme in our hospitals that the records do not follow the patient. When Chris was in Papworth a fellow patient, who was in line for a heart transplant, carried a briefcase full of medical charts everywhere he went. Every blood test or other test they did he would ask for a copy and put it in his brief case. We never knew why but perhaps he was, or was related to, a doctor? We certainly had problems with Chris's records following him to his home doctor after his heart attack.


We also have our own records Pat, of every hospital report, blood tests and medications over the years and each time Hans has been to hospital they ask for the `Mappe´, I didn´t know what they were talking about to start with, which map did they mean :grin2:
I´m sure they will organised all that, they have been very professional with everything else as far as I can understand.

Motley is his usual little self this morning. He is 10 years old now so maybe he just head a little dizzy spell due to the heat yesterday, although he is a clever little dog and lays in the shade and mostly without being told.


----------



## JanHank

It´s all systems go, Wolfgang told me on my daily noon call, they are flying Hans by helicopter to the new hospital tomorrow. I know he is going to tell me not to go there until the temperature is sensible and of course he needs to settle in, he will still be confined to bed for some time and very sleepy still. When it´s time to take his clothes will probably be the time for me to go, when he can spend some time outside. We have the phone to keep in touch, that is if he can talk on the phone. :serious: We have to think of our Motley as well as ourselves.
I will see him this afternoon and I will tell you what he says. I bet it will be exactly what I have said, we have to think of Motley as well as ourselves.


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## patp

Blimey! A Helicopeter! He is getting the five star treatment.


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## JanHank

patp said:


> Blimey! A Helicopeter! He is getting the five star treatment.


Because the temperature will be 33° and its a 2 hour journey by road, it will be a smoother journey for him as well.


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## JanHank

After 4 months of ups and downs with Hans´s health I should be used to this, but I´m not.
Today he was no where near as good as on Monday, very tired, 
looked terrible and this is the last time I will see him for a few days.
He was able to mouth answers to what I said, he didn't have the speaking bit in, but the oxygen.
I said it was very warm and we would never go away in the Navajo in high temperatures, he said "no"
We have to think of not just you and me, but our little Motley, he nodded yes.
I told him all our motorhome friends are thinking of him and wishing him well and he smiled.
It does seem rather an effort for him to do anything today, yesterday he sat in a chair for a while I was told, It was obviously too much for him.
Dr. Wolfgang will ring me tomorrow when he knows when he is off.

Guido tells me there are plenty of places to parkup there´s loads of space he says,. 
Maybe if I ask there is a place in the grounds, I will see.


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## patp

That is a shame, Jan. We are often told, though, that recoveries often go up and down so it sounds like this might be par for the course?


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## JanHank

patp said:


> That is a shame, Jan. We are often told, though, that recoveries often go up and down so it sounds like this might be par for the course?


Yes I know its up and down Pat and the lady doctor keeps telling me that and to stay strong.
It was so disappointing after the way he was on Monday, 
I have already had a good talk with myself not to be despondent.:smile2:


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## aldra

Well,

I’ve left MHF but I check on Hans, the dog whisperer 

And Jan won’t see this anyway

My prayers and thoughts are with him 

And also with Jan, I remember when Albert was diagnosed with melanoma, deep and poor prognosis and I was devastated

He’s still here

But you lot pulled me through

And you’ll pull her through 

And I probably should have said goodbye to those special to me 

But I didn’t 

But dog whisperer get well soon 

Sandra


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## JanHank

*Two steps back*

Todays journey has been cancelled, he is not well enough, I knew he wasn't, I thought by his eyes yesterday he was confused again and he is, he has a slight temperature as well and they are going to do some gut examination because he is regurgitating some of the food.


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## jiwawa

The roller-coaster is so hard to deal with Jan but hang on in there - we're all rooting for you!


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## erneboy

Sorry to hear that Jan. Fingers crossed for tomorrow.


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## JanHank

He won't be going anywhere for a while and when he does it won't necessarily be Waren.
He has another infection, probably a lung infection, they are doing more tests. He is delirious once more.
I told the doctor I can´t go to see him anymore when he is like this, it´s far to upsetting and he said yes its very hard for you and tells me to look after myself.
If I go I will be upset, if I don't go I feel as if I am deserting him and now I can´t stop crying all the tears that have been suppressed for weeks.
Sorry to sound so dramatic, but I feel so helpless.

Its now 5 weeks and he only want in for a stent, we just never know whats round the corner.


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## dghr272

The tears are a relief valve Jan and your feelings are totally understandable so try not to beat yourself up. Hans knows you would never abandon him as he’s always in your thoughts and he wouldn’t want to cause you distress. 

You’ve done everything right so far so trust your instincts and give yourself a hug from me.

Terry


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## tugboat

Well said, Terry.


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## erneboy

Terry has it right. I'm very sorry to hear that Hans isn't continuing to get better Jan. Life can be a right bugger at times.


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## peribro

I'm sorry that so many of us are so far away Jan otherwise I'm sure we'd try to give support in person as well.

Always now the first thread I go on when I log on to MHF is this one rather than the Brexit one so please keep the updates coming!

Thinking of you and Hans.

Peter


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## jiwawa

Sending a hug across the airwaves Jan.


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## patp

Hugs from me too. Let out your sorrow and frustration. As you say it was not meant to be like this. There is nothing that you can do, by visiting, other than make yourself even sadder. You have had two steps forward and one step back. Let's hope Hans is soon making two more steps forward.


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## JanHank

They have found what the infection is and are treating it with the right antibiotic.
They have given him a light sleeping drug and he is peacefully sleeping.
I have once again been told I should stay at home because there is nothing I can do and he is sleeping anyway.
At the moment he is stable.


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## patp

Keep fighting Hans!


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## JanHank

Its a good job I don´t have close neighbours, I keep talking to him all day asking where things are and telling him don´t you dare leave me etc.


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## patp

I daresay Hans is doing the same to you  At least you can't argue about it!

How is Motley coping?


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## JanHank

patp said:


> I daresay Hans is doing the same to you  At least you can't argue about it!
> 
> How is Motley coping?


Thank goodness the funny turn he had a few days ago was a one off. 
He is the best little dog in the whole world (Sorry the rest of you who also think that about yours:laugh
When I sleep so does he, when I go outside so does he.
When I say I am going somewhere in the car he goes in his corner if it´s too hot for him to come, if it´s early In the morning he knows he will be going down to the river so no hesitation about coming.
When I come home from visiting Hans he by passes me at the door and goes to the car which is heart breaking because I know who he is looking for.
At the moment he is lying nearby, ball in front of him waiting for me to make a move. :grin2: which I am about to do.


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## jiwawa

That paints a lovely picture Jan - you're probably both exhausted by now!


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## JanHank

jiwawa said:


> That paints a lovely picture Jan - you're probably both exhausted by now!


Yes Jean exhausted is a good described, but it's mental exhaustion and we still have a long way to go, they hope to get him into another hospital next week, it may not be the same one as planned for yesterday.
It is unfortunate that all the people I would have liked to go to are all so far away either in England or 400 & 600 km. away. I hope the delirium will go as soon as he is clear of infection then I can see him again, but I just couldn't take seeing him the way I did a few weeks ago.


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## patp

What a wonderful little dog he is  And he keeps you in a routine which is good. Unlike human companions he just accepts what is happening in his life and lives it day by day.


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## JanHank

Stable and still kept asleep to save his energy.


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## jiwawa

Good Jan. I hope you're able to sleep and build up your own energy and strength.


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## JanHank

I have just asked the internet what is the difference between lung infection and pneumonia and discover its one and the same, that means Hans has pneumonia again.


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## jiwawa

I thought pneumonia was a subset of lung infection, so some lung infections would not necessarily be pneumonia?


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## JanHank

jiwawa said:


> I thought pneumonia was a subset of lung infection, so some lung infections would not necessarily be pneumonia?


What I read on the internet Jean they are the same thing.


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## peribro

There are all sorts of things that are classed as lung infections Jan, pneumonia being one of them. I used to get bronchitis as a child but grew out of it. Pneumonia is certainly one of the more unpleasant lung infections that can be contracted.

A friend of mine gets pneumonia almost every winter and is hospitalised as a result. He's not been as poorly as Hans but he has to go on a drip for a week and avoid any contact with anyone who might introduce any additional infections. It's certainly a most debilitating illness although one that is known and understood by physicians with the result that treatment is far more successful than it was at one time.


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## patp

Chris had "community acquired" pneumonia a short while after his heart attack in 2013. I think they described it as such to absolve them of him having caught it in the heart unit which would have meant it was "hospital acquired" pneumonia and does not look good on their ratings. 
My understanding is that it is very common when we are poorly and hospitalised and so they test for it all the time in bed-bound patients.
Chris describes that it was far more debilitating than the heart attack. It took him ages to get over it even once the infection itself was all cleared up. 
As Peter says, though, hospitals are good at early diagnosis and treatment. Hopefully they have caught it early and will get on top of it easily.


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## HermanHymer

Hi Jan
What a dreadful ordeal you're going through! And what a strong constitution Hans has! 

I just hope the support you're getting from your friends here is at least a measure of comfort and encouragement. The medical team involved seem to be pulling out all the stops to get him back to health again. That in itself is encouraging.

Thinking of you and praying the sun will come out for you and Hans very soon.

Big hug!


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## JanHank

I am waiting to hear from Heike, she rang the hospital to talk to a doctor and he is going to call her back.
She spoke to a nurse at midday who said he was stable, no change. Hopefully the antibiotics will soon kick in.


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## JanHank

Had internet breakdown for an hour after Heike WhatsApp`t :grin2: me.

The antibiotic is beginning to take effect, the mucus is getting a little paler, his temperature, circulation, BP and Pulse are satisfactory.

I will learn more at `high noon´ tomorrow when I speak to Wolfgang the chief.


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## JanHank

I am sorry to say yesterdays information is not correct, I think they wanted to wait for Wolfgang to speak to me today.
Hans is very ill, sepsis again, pneumonia and his kidneys are not working very well, they are still keeping him asleep. I can´t tell you anymore except it really doesn't look good.

Guido is in touch with them and tomorrow I hope he will speak to Wolfgang. He says he doesn't feel Hans is ready to `go´ right now.

He has just confirmed he will speak with Wolfgang tomorrow.


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## patp

I just can't press the like button, Jan, to say that I have read your worrying news. There is, however, always hope and that is what I would like to say, that I hope Hans will fight off the infections and manage to pull through.

Sending huge hugs.


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## dghr272

Oh Jan very worrying indeed when organs start to fail, fingers crossed Hans keeps fighting and pulls through this set back.

You’re both in our thoughts girl.

More hugs from me too.

Terry


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## JanHank

I had an email from my professor Guido, he is going to contact Wolfgang tomorrow to discuss how to proceed. He says he doesn't feel Hans is ready to `go´ just yet. Hans has always trusted him and so do I, these two will work together across the telephone line I know, because Wolfgang actually sent him a text this afternoon saying it didn't look good, so I have the feeling he was kind of asking him for guidance.


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## JanHank

dghr272 said:


> Oh Jan very worrying indeed when organs start to fail, fingers crossed Hans keeps fighting and pulls through this set back.
> 
> You're both in our thoughts girl.
> 
> More hugs from me too.
> 
> Terry


One of the things Guido will suggest tomorrow is dialyses, this I know, he feels it will only be temporary until all the other things clear up.
I do hope he is right. There is a good reason why it hadn´t been suggested today, but it will be my choice or not if you understand that without me spelling it out.
He did phone them this evening and spoke to another top doctor who said all other organs seemed ok.

We need a lot more ohmmmming or whatever Buddhist do. The person who first suggested it is a great believer in mental power.


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## erneboy

I'm very sorry to hear that Jan.


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## jiwawa

Jan, you and Hans, and the whole team, are in my thoughts and prayers. I wish I could say more.


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## HurricaneSmith

I am really sorry to hear that Hans is so poorly, and, as always, my thoughts are with you Jan.
.


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## patp

Will set aside some time each day for and ohmmmmm session, Jan.


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## JanHank

I called Wolfgang a few minutes ago, Hans is now on dialysis and his condition is no better, but no worse than yesterday.
I will take the Navajo and Motley this afternoon because the temperature has dropped from 33° yesterday and will be 25° today, with everything open he should be OK. I have made a little recording on my phone of him Barking to play to Hans, which may or may not help.


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## JanHank

Not a lot to report, to me he looked a tad better, there was no response to the barking, but they thought it a very good idea and said to play it each time I go. 
His temperature is still a bit high, but the oxygen has been reduced from 60% to 50% which sounds encouraging to me.
There is someone near him all the time still, doing some machine adjustment, medication, food and water.

I took the Navajo and Motley today because the temperature was supposed to be 25° and a breeze, it wasn't it was 29° and stuffy, no fresh air. I put the front under a tree in the shade, opened windows and put the cold fan on, when I went back it was quite a comfortable temperature.
I took him for a walk before I went to the hospital and was going to do the same when I went back, but it suddenly tipped down with rain, so no second walk.


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## patp

Hope the weather holds so that you have the ability to use the van when you want to.
Don't forget to take care of yourself.


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## JanHank

patp said:


> Hope the weather holds so that you have the ability to use the van when you want to.
> Don't forget to take care of yourself.


I have just decided I will have a day off Pat. I have pulled out a load of weeds already, when the grass is dry (Its been raining overnight :laugh: the grass says yum-yum) before that I must do ironing, hoover & dust. They have just finished in the fields and the windows need doing AGAIN, but if I don´t have the energy I´ll say blow the windows, or some such word.
At noon I will make my usual call to Wolfgang and unless he says Hans is awake and coherent I will give it a miss for today.


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## JanHank

Just made my usual midday call, a bit late, but I hadn't lost my slot :grin2: He is a fraction better than yesterday only a tiny fraction he emphasised, in the right direction.
I said is it OK if I don´t come today I feel a bit tired, "of course its alright, the worry will also make you tired, stay at home there is nothing you can do here" he really is a lovely man, so easy for me to speak to. It will be a week tomorrow since they started the antibiotics and if they haven't stopped the infection in 10 days they carry on for 14. I can´t remember how long it was the last time and as he didn't have the notes in front of him neither could he.


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## patp

It's good that he is stable.

Rest and recuperate as much as you can now.


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## jiwawa

JanHank said:


> They have just finished in the fields and the windows need doing AGAIN, but if I don´t have the energy I´ll say blow the windows, or some such word.


That made me smile.

Many years ago, when my husband was very ill, I was working full time, making long-mileage round trips to the hospital every day, and absolutely exhausted.

A colleague asked me on a daily basis if there was anything at all she could do to help. Eventually I gave in and said the windows badly needed cleaned.

Well, they didn't get cleaned, and she never asked again!!

And the house survived!


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## JanHank

Unfortunately so are the weeds, surviving that is. Erick has done a disappearing act since Monday when I told him on WhatsApp the news about Hans was not good. 
When he was here on Saturday he said "I am always here for you Janet" when it would have been good to have someone here where is he?

I have just had one and three quaters of an hour on Messenger with a niece in England, that was lovely and cheered me up. I discovered how much like me she is in looks and other ways.:grin2:


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## JanHank

*This is a bit mixed up but I don't know how else to word it.*

Even though his eyes were open he wasn't seeing or hearing me.
He is they say a little better medically, still on dialysis.

_*Now it never rains but it pours here.*_
I had just got to the bottom of the stairs to go to Hans. saw Wolfgang, he said he would be up in a minute, turned away and bang. two steps up, I somehow tripped up fell on the marble type landing, bashed my head really good they must have heard it through the whole hospital. within seconds Wolfgang and another doctor were helping me up, but the shoulder was so painful I had to sit on the stairs and they tried to get the shoulder in a comfortable position until a wheelchair was brought and took me to A&E X-ray done, put the shoulder back under anaesthetic, another X-ray to make sure it was in, but there maybe a small fracture. Tomorrow I have to be there at 8.30 for an MRI scan
I saw Hans while I was in the wheelchair, not allowed to stand because of the anaesthetic.
Had to be brought home by taxi (80€) and have to go back in the morning for the MRI another 80€ I hope I will be able to drive the car home.

My arm is in a modern sling, so cumbersome


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## erneboy

Oooh Jan. That's just awful. I hope you don't have a fracture.


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## JanHank

erneboy said:


> Oooh Jan. That's just awful. I hope you don't have a fracture.


He said if there is it is very small, the MRI will tell them in he morning. I could have stayed in for the night, but what would Motley do, thats just not possible.
Anyway at the moment I have no pain, bu its tide up so I cant move it much.


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## erneboy

I hope you get a good night's sleep. Talk to Motley, he'll understand. Our two understand me. We often have long talks about stuff.


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## JanHank

He understands everything Alan, Fortunately I didn´t take the Navajo with him in it today, I did think about it. 
I am sure I will be able to drive tomorrow, the car is LHD so gears are on the right and its the left shoulder.


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## raynipper

You will be in twin beds soon. At least Hans can keep an eye on you now.

Ray.


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## JanHank

raynipper said:


> You will be in twin beds soon. At least Hans can keep an eye on you now.
> 
> Ray.


I don´t think so Ray, he is not in this world, doesn´t see anything or hear.

What would poor little Motley do, he can´t look after himself.


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## jiwawa

Good gracious Jan, there's no need to go to such lengths to get sympathy!! (That is Northern Ireland humour by the way!)

Poor you! I will not come and visit you - my sister says family n friends must dread my coming as someone usually ends up in hospital. Latest is my BIL who had an emergency AAA op the morning I was supposed to be leaving.

Hope you continue to be pain-free.


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## JanHank

Now for my report, I will begin with my morning. Taxi at 7.30 the driver who we use often moved the car to another car park where no fee is charged, just in case I was at the hospital for hours as one can be. 
Only saw the doctor, no MRT today, no slot vacant. Appointment on Thursday at 10.30, then I can see Hans after. I drove the car home no problem. Still no pain, well I guess if there was I wouldn't notice it after yesterday excruciating pain. I now have the bit that goes around my middle (please note I didn't say waist >) with the stay that holds my arm down because I can move back and forth from the elbow to do things, but I must not lift it to the side yet.

HANS

They changed the tracheotomy tube this morning and also had a look in his lungs and they are improving :laugh:. His eyes are open wide, but no real expressive movement in them, howsomever when I kissed his lips he responded with a pucker. I didn't stay long, mornings they are busy with him, but that was enough to send me home with a smile. :grin2:
Heike is coming next Thursday for 10 days. :hello1:
_I drove home._
The Taxi driver moved the car when we got there, to another car park where there is no fee just in case I was hours as the hospital as you can be. It was not necessary, to change the time on the parking card would have been enough I was away by 10.30 and yes drove home with no problem. Being the left arm and left hand drive the gears are for my right hand, the Navajo is something else, I don´t know when I will be strong enough to change the gears on that.


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## jiwawa

That's good news Jan, and great that you'll soon have some company and support.


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## HermanHymer

Oh Jan, what an ordeal. Just when you think things cant get any worse they do. Makes all the other irritations in life pale into insignificance. Thinking of you day by day.


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## JanHank

Erick took me today, he turns up trumps sometimes.
I will tell you the good bit first, every time I asked him to kiss me he did😁 Hans that is not Erick.
They have not given him any sleeping drug since yesterday so once again he is waking up, but as it is still in his blood he is rather strange. I think like an addict coming off drugs he is hallucinating, his eyes are focusing on me, he tries to speak his lips are moving, nothing will come out because of the tracheotomy pipe, but I think if I could understand it would be gibberish because it’s just non stop. The word `home´ though is quite plain to lip read. 
They tried again to leave off the dialysis Machine but had to put him on again after an hour because the kidneys were not fully working. I was once again assured the dialysis will not be a permanent thing.
Everything else is working satisfactorily. 
Having someone to talk to and discuss the situation with gave me reassurance and a boost.


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## patp

Phew! Just caught up with the last couple of days. My goodness girl!

Hope you feel better soon and Hans continues to improve.


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## JanHank

*Some may not wish to read so much detail, but this is what's happening to Hans*

Yesterday was a better day for him, no longer agitated just lying peacefully like a baby who is unable to help itself. His eyes seemed to focus on my face and again when I asked him to kiss me his lips closed to be kissed. I asked_ can you squeeze my hand_ and his thumb put on a tiny bit of pressure.
The doctor said "two steps up the ladder today, tomorrow he could slip down one, but we hope not." 
The dialysis was removed just for the day, reconnected later. The sepsis is not completely cleared yet, but they are not concerned as the medication is still doing its job.
I brought 2 papers home, not that I can understand them, all in German and medical language I can´t understand in any language.
One is-
_Inserting a feeding tube through the abdomen_
The other-
_Implantation of central venous indwelling catheters port systems_. This is for the dialysis.
They are both for the good, for weeks he's been fed through the nose and the dialysis through his tummy, the new arrangement for dialysis is a one way valve placed at the base of the neck, they plug into which opens the valve and when the connection is removed the valve closes, all very clever. 
Before he can be moved to another hospital for the oxygen weaning he needs to have these 2 things done.
I need to sign the 2 papers to allow them to do that, can you imagine, no you can´t unless you have actually had to do it, I am in control of his life, I should be thinking of what he would want not what I want, but he must have every chance for his recovery, I am not letting him go. 
7 weeks now, how long is a long time?


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## patp

Nurses are good people to discuss things with, at times like this, Jan. They were really helpful to me when I was in a similar position to you with both my mum and my dad. The doctors gave me the facts but the nurses gave me the empathy.


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## JanHank

patp said:


> Nurses are good people to discuss things with, at times like this, Jan. They were really helpful to me when I was in a similar position to you with both my mum and my dad. The doctors gave me the facts but the nurses gave me the empathy.


Thats fine when they either speak good English or I can understand everything they tell/answer me in German Pat.
Wolfgang is super, he is not like a stranger, we laugh together and talk about other things as well, he knows he is my full source of information. 
I have emailed him Alans lovely video of his daughter and the House Martin this morning:grin2:


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## patp

I understand Jan. A friend's father was taken seriously ill whilst abroad and they had the same difficulty as that which you are finding. In their case the holiday insurance company (Saga) paid for a translator.


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## JanHank

Just a quick.
His kidneys are coping, no dialysis today, a little improvement in him and I suddenly thought this morning, in the one and a half hour I spent with him yesterday he didn't cough, Wolfgang says its because they have beaten the pneumonia. :grin2: 

When I did my High Noon phone call today he answered the phone with "Hallo my dear" isn't that lovely. :grin2:


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## nicholsong

JanHank said:


> Just a quick.
> His kidneys are coping, no dialysis today, a little improvement in him and I suddenly thought this morning, in the one and a half hour I spent with him yesterday he didn't cough, Wolfgang says its because they have beaten the pneumonia. :grin2:
> 
> When I did my High Noon phone call today he answered the phone with "Hallo my dear" isn't that lovely. :grin2:


I am following Jan.

Sounds like good news.

Did you sign the forms? If so when will they do those two processes - maybe wait for a bit more strength in his body. Probably no rush till they know he does not need dialysis machine there.

Wolfgang and his team seem to be determined to send Hans home recovered, even via a new clinic, which determination must be a great support for you. That support you are communicating to Hans. It will be interesting for you to learn from Hans what he remembers of all the procedures and your supporting visits - maybe more than you realise now. It is probably keeping him going.

I am back in Poland now, but we are still rooting for Hans and you.

G+B


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## greygit

For one reason or other I haven't been reading the whole of the forum posts of late so I have only just seen what you have been going through Jan. 
I have just read all the post and what can I say other than I breathed a sigh of relief when reading Hans was improving one heck of a lot. 
All I can say is you are one tough lady Jan and it would seem Hans is also no push over himself. I hope you both the best for the future and hope you will be on your travels again soon.


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## JanHank

greygit said:


> For one reason or other I haven't been reading the whole of the forum posts of late so I have only just seen what you have been going through Jan.
> I have just read all the post and what can I say other than I breathed a sigh of relief when reading Hans was improving one heck of a lot.
> All I can say is you are one tough lady Jan and it would seem Hans is also no push over himself. I hope you both the best for the future and hope you will be on your travels again soon.


I wish that could be so Gitty, but as I said sometimes 2 steps forward then a step back.
Yesterday morning it was one step back, he had been too active again and needed sedation once more., he doesn't have energy to waste on these involuntary movements.
One good thing is his kidneys are still working on their own after 3 days without dialysis.
I am afraid it is going to be a very long journey and I must harden myself to that fact, learn to live alone for a while and make a life because I am sorry to have to say Hans is at the moment completely out of this life and is likely to be for some time ahead, like a baby he is unable to do anything for himself, but nobody knows what goes on inside his head, who knows, he could be inventing something :smile2: I would like to think that, but the look in his eyes tell me otherwise. I honestly do not know what I would have done if I hadn´t had you, my forum people to talk to and thats the truth.
Heike is here until next Saturday, she will give me back some of the lost strength.
It´s a lovely day, I am going to use it to enjoy with Heike and we will go to Hans tomorrow.


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## patp

I think you are right, Jan. Do as your instincts tell you. Even if it seems a little disloyal, not to visit etc, Hans would understand and encourage you to save your strength.

When I had major surgery, glad though I was of visitors bothering to visit, all I wanted them to do once they got there was go home. Chris said the same when he was in.


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## jiwawa

patp said:


> When I had major surgery, glad though I was of visitors bothering to visit, all I wanted them to do once they got there was go home. Chris said the same when he was in.


I think that's very true Pat; as visitors we tend to think that having made the effort to get there we should stay a reasonable length of time. But often the initial lift our presence gives the patient is fairly quickly eroded so 'short n sweet' is a good motto for hospital visits!


----------



## JanHank

Here she is, already giving me back some of my lost power.
I will visit this afternoon, unfortunately Heike has hay fever and coughs so doesn't want to take it into the hospital.


----------



## raynipper

Couple a crackers eh?

Ray.


----------



## Penquin

JanHank said:


> Here she is, already giving me back some of my lost power.
> I will visit this afternoon, unfortunately Heike has hay fever and coughs so doesn't want to take it into the hospital.


But remember, hay fever is an allergic response, NOT an infection so if it is the genuine allergy she will not pass anything on, and may well find the air conditioning that is undoubtedly working, means she will not sneeze either.

Just make sure she has taken any medication needed such as anti-histamines.

A long road ahead, yes, but every long journey begins with a small step.

I think that was Tao Te Ching but am happy to be corrected


----------



## jiwawa

Ah, the company will do you the world of good Jan - enjoy!!


----------



## JanHank

Thats my girl :laugh:


----------



## raynipper

We have the same right now Jan. But no helper.

Ray.


----------



## nicholsong

Jan


Can we please have a report on your shoulder and how are you managing?


Geoff


----------



## erneboy

Yes, the arseholes and what was it's? want to know too.


----------



## JanHank

Thanks for asking Geoff, Alan and all you other luverly people who would like to know :grin2: I see the doctor tomorrow for the MRT result, I feel fine so don´t expect any nasty surprises like a cracked bone, but just in case I am not taking any risks i.e lifting or carrying anything or driving the Navajo because the left arm is for changing gear in that.

Hans unfortunately is back on dialysis, I saw a swelling yesterday in a place I hadn´t seen before, but Guido and Wolfgang said it is nothing to be worried about, that happens often and once the dialysis takes control it will be fine. He also has the new feeding tube in his abdomen so the nose tube has gone. 
Heike and I will see Wolfgang together tomorrow, he will be able to tell her things in their own language and I may even learn something I didn't know before.


----------



## JanHank

Two quick reports.

My shoulder needs no treatment, I have a bruised bone which should be fine. I can drive the Navajo again :hello1:

Hans is on dialysis until Saturday, then they will give it a break to see if his kidneys can manage alone, he has a few litre of water in his body that have to go.
His hands are once more tired to the bed because of too much movement, but he knew I was there, allowed me to clean his teeth and when asked to kiss me did several times during the visit, witnessed by Heike and Wolfgang so it was not my imagination and he tried to smile a little, but because of the drugs he cannot focus and has no control over his movements. Wolfgang said, he is still on his journey and has a good way to go. Heike thinks they look after him well.


----------



## patp

Glad your shoulder is ok. The last thing you need is poor health.

All this kissing in hospital! Doesn't someone tell you to "get a room"


----------



## JanHank

He´s got one


----------



## nicholsong

Jan


Thanks for the update. Glad shoulder is OK and you are cleared to drive the Navajo, so if they move Hans to the Clinic you and Motley can be 'camp followers'


Pity that Hans had to go back onto Dialysis, hopefully temporarily.


Tell him who is asking after him - maybe there will be some reaction, good or bad:wink2::laugh:


Geoff


----------



## jiwawa

Good news about the shoulder Jan.

You sound happier today... Heike might have something to do with that 😊

That's a smilie - does it show as one? (I like to try it every now and again in case something has changed in the background. And actually, I'm just thinking, I've a new phone since I tried last......)


----------



## JanHank

jiwawa said:


> Good news about the shoulder Jan.
> 
> You sound happier today... Heike might have something to do with that 😊
> 
> That's a smilie - does it show as one? (I like to try it every now and again in case something has changed in the background. And actually, I'm just thinking, I've a new phone since I tried last......)


No smile Jean just the usual, try a space between the last letter and the smiley. Heike is a great help all round.


----------



## jiwawa

Bummer.... There is a space.


----------



## dghr272

jiwawa said:


> Bummer.... There is a space.


I see the smilie Jean not the usual witches code 😄

Terry


----------



## jiwawa

dghr272 said:


> I see the smilie Jean not the usual witches code 😄
> 
> Terry


That's even more weird Terry - if no-one could see it I'd assume it was my end, or using the EMV.

Stranger and stranger...


----------



## dghr272

jiwawa said:


> That's even more weird Terry - if no-one could see it I'd assume it was my end, or using the EMV.
> 
> Stranger and stranger...


Even stranger, I replied on my iPhone when I saw it displayed, just checked today on my iPad and it displays the 'witches code' :surprise:

Terry

Apologies Jan for the drift.


----------



## jiwawa

dghr272 said:


> Even stranger, I replied on my iPhone when I saw it displayed, just checked today on my iPad and it displays the 'witches code' /images/MotorhomeFacts_2014/smilies/tango_face_surprise.png
> 
> Terry
> 
> Apologies Jan for the drift.


Hahaha!! And when I first saw Jan's quote of my post, it showed the witch's code. Now it's showing the smilie...

So there IS a witch in there but it ain't me! 
@VS_Admin - can you look at post #324 on, see if you can figure out what's going on? Thanks.


----------



## JanHank

I have been feeling very despondent since our visit yesterday where I found him once more tied to the bed.
Today I wrote an email, with help from Heike, to Wolfgang in German, to make sure he understood completely what I asked.
I told him I wanted him to be completely honest with me and tell me what chance Hans has. 
Heike then spoke to him at the `high noon´ call also in German asking him for his reply.
He says he has not changed his mind that Hans has a good chance of recovery, although not to the health he had before, this he told me ages ago, but it just seems to drag out for so long.
On Monday they plan this new port for the dialysis and again says this is not a permanent thing, his kidneys will recover.

He agreed that I should not visit so often, because I don´t have time to recover my strength between visits when I go so often.

However, at the end of next week they plan to send Hans to the other `weening´ hospital where they had planned to send him a few weeks ago in Waren, Mecklanburg.

This is usually a four week stay, but Hans may need a second 4 weeks, after this some kind of rehabilitation time which will probably be at the Ostsee a little further North.
Once again I must look for Stellplatz in the Waren area or a small camp site in case there is no place at the hospital for me to stay in the Navajo with Motley.

Heike goes home after breakfast on Sunday, bless her she is staying until the very last minute because she goes back to work on Monday.
Now she really knows what is happening after seeing it all first hand and says we must keep in touch on the WhatsApp whenever I want.

If only I could sleep at night and not lay awake worrying perhaps things wouldn´t always look so gloomy to me.
I


----------



## dghr272

Sleep is important Jan, maybe talk to Wolfgang about the benefit of a tablet to help your mind relax at night. X

Terry


----------



## erneboy

Poor Jan. I wish there was something useful I could do to help.


----------



## patp

Sleep is absolutely essential, Jan. Do go and see your doctor for recommendations. No one can go through what you are going through without proper rest.

I am a chronic insomniac and have to have help from the doctor. One of the things that has helped me, though, is to lie there and concentrate on the room/house I am in and not to allow myself to think outside of it.

Can fully understand your questions to Wolfgang. It is so difficult to stand and watch while not knowing what the patient's wishes are.


----------



## aldra

Well you won’t see this

Which is sad after years of a sort of friendship 

I like you cannot sleep when I’m anxious 

Every time albert has a scan I worry and my imagination takes over

And I love to tell you what will fix it 

But nothing does , except the news it’s Ok , this time 

Maybe a sleeping tablet?

But the truth is when those we love are ill, it’s hard

But when hope is high, even our worries should be positive 

So keep in there girl

A long time ago Albert was given 6 months 

But he beat the odds and he’s still beating them 

Best of wishes to the “ dog whisperer”

My prayers are with him 

Sandra


----------



## JanHank

Heike went home yesterday, poor girl it took 9 hours to get home because of all the road works and hold ups on the motorway.
She has announced she will be coming again on the 28th of September for a week. 
Today they have given him the dialysis port, well Wolfgang said they were doing it this afternoon when I phoned at ´high noon´ so I assume its done.
He was very active again yesterday so had to be sedated yet again, I will have a talk with Wolfgang tomorrow to see if he can put light on the reason why this keeps happening.
He is not sure if Hans will be going this week to Waren, he is having 72 hours on the dialysis machine because of the water he is retaining.
I will see Hans tomorrow afternoon.


----------



## nicholsong

Jan


Thanks for the update. Keep them coming even if the news is minimal, because I for one get a bit worried when there is no news from you.


Say hello to Hans from us tomorrow.


G+B


----------



## erneboy

Thanks for keeping us posted Jan. I hope things change for the better very soon.


----------



## JanHank

The worst news, Hans died this evening.


----------



## Matchlock

Deepest Sympathies Jan.


----------



## peribro

I'm so so sorry Jan.

Nothing more I can say. Please keep posting here as we will all want to support you as much as we can.

Best wishes

Peter


----------



## JanHank

I am completely lost, I have no idea what I should do now.


----------



## peribro

Jan, is there anyone near to you (physically and emotionally) who you can be with? The hospital can sort out most of the practical bits. If I was near you I would come to help. Peter


----------



## raynipper

OH Jan. We were both so positive after all your struggle and never considered this option. 
Our hearts and love go out to you at this time.

Ray. xxxx


----------



## JanHank

This is the big problem Peter, I have no one, Heike is the only one and she is too far away.
The only others are Erick and Marion and I can´t raise them on any of their phones.


----------



## erneboy

Very sorry to hear that Jan. My deepest sympathies.


----------



## raynipper

Jan the practical aspects of dealing with Hans and funeral arrangements can be handled by the hospital and medical admin. It should all be lifted from you.
But it's the time after that will need you to assess. But take time, as much as you need.

Ray. xxx


----------



## peribro

Jan, If you want to talk to someone I'm pm'ing you my phone number.I can't help with anything practical from here but you don't need to worry about that now. Peter


----------



## JanHank

Erick and Marion have just rang and they are coming to see me now.


----------



## HurricaneSmith

I am so sorry to hear of your loss, Jan.

I don't think any of us anticipated Hans passing. I can hear his voice now, calm, polite, and kind. He was a thoroughly nice man.

You are in my thoughts.
.


----------



## raynipper

I wish we could be of more positive help Jan. I'm sure that goes for many on here. But we are all so far away.

Ray. xxx


----------



## dghr272

Oh Jan we all feel for you, no words can comfort you at this terrible time. Big hugs and XX

Terry

Perhaps the hospital can provide pastoral care and advice, lean on any support you can.


----------



## Penquin

Jan, I am so sorry about that dreadful news, totally unexpected and there is nothing that any of us can do from such a distance but virtual hugs do count and you know that everyone on here would want to send exactly that.

It is very hard to say, but take the time to sort out what YOU want to do, sadly, Hans is no longer with us and you must sort things - the hospital will be able to talk you through what must be done and when and where but they cannot give you the same hugs, virtual though they must be.

Peace be with you, the only consolation is that any pain and discomfort he had has now finished and he is at rest.❤❤


----------



## JanHank

You may all be far away, but its a great help for me to just type down my feelings and get a response almost immediately from someone.


----------



## eurajohn

So sorry to hear that Jan, my thoughts are with you.

.


----------



## JanHank

I feared if Hans has survived this he would not have liked the new way of life he would have to live and I think Guido has confirmed mine and Heike`s thoughts.

<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<
My thoughts are with You!!!
May he have a good journey to a better place, where all his machines are in perfect shape!!!
Big hug, Janet.
Have a Gin and Tonic. 
Maybe a pill for sleep.
I am so sorry for You!
_But also sure, it will spare You a LOT of trouble, for sure._
I send You all energy I have!

Love
G


----------



## jiwawa

Jan, I am so so sorry to hear that Hans has gone.

Yes, in our hearts we know Guido is right. 

I wish I could take some of the pain. Sending a special hug across the airwaves.


----------



## homenaway

That's such sad news. May I offer my deepest sympathies

Steve


----------



## icer

Just back from babysitting Theo and looked in for update.


Carol and I send our deepest sympathy


We have been thinking of him everyday


We hope he is at peace 



It has been very hard on you and you have done everything possible for him


Hans R I P





Ian & Carol


----------



## dghr272

Jan you know me and my verses, I hope you find this one appropriate, I suspect Hans would. 


If I should ever leave you whom I love
To go along the silent way,
Grieve not,
Nor speak of me with tears,
But laugh and talk of me as if I were beside you there.
(I'd come - I'd come, could I but find a way!
But would not tears and grief be barriers?)
And when you hear a song
Or see a bird I loved,
Please do not let the thought of me be sad 
For I am loving you just as I always have 
You were so good to me!
There are so many things I wanted still to do
So many things to say to you
Remember that I did not fear
It was just leaving you that was so hard to face
We cannot see beyond
But this I know;
I love you so
‘twas heaven here with you!

(Isla Pascal Richardson)

Terry


----------



## JanHank

So true Terry, he is everywhere, but it´s impossible not to cry. 

In the last few weeks before he went into hospital he started calling me his Angel so maybe he did think it was heaven here with me.


----------



## greygit

Jan, so sad to hear of your loss in fact I'm totally at a loss for words.
Love and hugs. GG XX


----------



## tugboat

I was devastated to read your post elsewhere last night and I shed tears for you in your sadness.

I wish you weren't so isolated over there.

I so hoped that one day I might meet Hans and greet him like an old friend.

I love that photo of him with Motley but I've forgotten how to post photos on here.

Bless you, pardner, Ellie and I send hugs, I wish some of us were nearby to help you.


----------



## patp

Oh Jan! That is such sad news. Please accept my deepest condolences. 

If it helps to post here then do use it to make sense of everything, if that is possible.


----------



## jiwawa

dghr272 said:


> Jan you know me and my verses, I hope you find this one appropriate, I suspect Hans would.
> 
> If I should ever leave you whom I love
> To go along the silent way,
> Grieve not,
> Nor speak of me with tears,
> But laugh and talk of me as if I were beside you there.
> (I'd come - I'd come, could I but find a way!
> But would not tears and grief be barriers?)
> And when you hear a song
> Or see a bird I loved,
> Please do not let the thought of me be sad
> For I am loving you just as I always have
> You were so good to me!
> There are so many things I wanted still to do
> So many things to say to you
> Remember that I did not fear
> It was just leaving you that was so hard to face
> We cannot see beyond
> But this I know;
> I love you so
> 'twas heaven here with you!
> 
> (Isla Pascal Richardson)
> 
> Terry


Terry, that's a beautiful piece - I hadn't ever seen the whole thing.

And it is so true. I love it when my kids talk and laugh and joke about all the memories we have of their father. Sometimes it's bittersweet but it's so much better than when my own father died.... I hardly mentioned him in my Mum's company because I was afraid I would upset her.

And now I know that that, possibly, pained her more.

Jan, you're probably feeling very empty this morning. Keep posting here if it helps.

So many people are supporting you from afar.


----------



## dghr272

JanHank said:


> So true Terry, he is everywhere, but it´s impossible not to cry.
> 
> In the last few weeks before he went into hospital he started calling me his Angel so maybe he did think it was heaven here with me.


It's totally understandable Jan, the extreme pain of his passing will ease and allow you to smile and remember the better times and smile.

Over time you've painted a loving picture of Hans to us all, I can picture him thinking through a problem then beavering away in his workshop to come up with a craftsmans solution to it and the quiet pride he had in his work.

Terry


----------



## nicholsong

Dear Jan


This is late, but I only read the sad news at 0400 - not a time to maybe disturb any sleep.


No words any of us can write can take away the pain of the loss of your Beloved Hans.


So sad after Hans and you fought so hard with the hope that you would restore your life together.



We can only offer you virtual hugs. 



Pity Heike is not still with you.


We will continue to think of both of you.


There will be more to say later.


Sympathy, Love, Hugs.


Geoff and Basia


----------



## teljoy

JanHank said:


> You may all be far away, but its a great help for me to just type down my feelings and get a response almost immediately from someone.


Jan
I have been following this thread from the beginning hoping for a happy ending. I am so sorry to hear your news. There are no words that will adequately comfort you. I know you are a strong woman and will survive this. Just remember there are a number of us here who have never met you but believe we are your friends so please stay close to us all and don't leave this thread.
R.I.P. Hans.

Terry


----------



## JanHank

It´s been a long tiring day, but Marion was so wonderful, she took over everything and will continue until all is finished.
It is difficult to come to terms with it all, but he is everywhere in the house and garden.
I will write more tomorrow or the next day, there are so many people who want to phone me I think I might be on the phone for a week.
I am OK until someone talks kindly to me or I have to tell them.
Thanks to you all for your words and concerns. XXX 
Heike has just popped up on WhatsApp.:smile2:


----------



## erneboy

Here's a hug Jan.


----------



## nicholsong

Jan


I am pleased you are getting help and support from Marion, Heike and others.


It may be painlful to have to break the bad news but once everyone knows it will be something off your mind, and more help and support may be forthcoming. You are not alone, either there or in this ether community.


Keep posting when you have time, as we are all behind you.


G+B


----------



## JanHank

With a sleeping tablet* Wolfgang gave me I had the best nights sleep I have had for years except 3 times woken up with leg cramp in both legs, I think I would have slept through if that hadn't happened.
Guido sent me his phone number and said call him when I want which I will do.
I will get round to all the offers of chats eventually, but at the moment I am fine until someone shows sympathy or I have to talk about it. It's a brand new cut that needs time to heel.
Some of you may be shocked when I say I have no more to do with the arrangements,* We talked about what the other should do whoever died first and I am honouring his wish, no funeral, the undertaker takes care of everything I will not be there I will be at home where he is everywhere around me. In this country the law says there must be an urn for ashes, he would have preferred to just have them thrown to the air but that's not allowed.* The urn must either be buried at the cemetery costing 250€ or in a special* place in the forest for 750€ or thrown out to sea, he didn't like the seaside and he didn't like wasting money so guess where the urn goes all taken care of by the undertaker. This means his wish will be carried out in the end, and I hope whoever takes care of my arrangements when the time comes will do the same for me.
No doubt I have a busy day ahead, nobody in the village knows yet, but when they do I think I'll be out 😃.
Have to inform the dhss , banks and insurance company, luckily the insurance bloke is a very helpful chap.
The undertaker takes care of translating our marriage certificate to German, Passport and birth certificate are German.
A good friend of ours is coming across in his motorhome to stay with me for 2 weeks starting next Wednesday.
Heike wanted to come by train this weekend, just until Monday, I put her off, I don´t want her to be ill with travel and just for 2 days.


----------



## raynipper

Beware of informing the banks as they have a habit of freezing all assets until probate or some such expensive legal bullocks. Inform the banks as and when you have put everything you want in place and not before.!!!!!

Ray.
Hurrrgsss xx


----------



## erneboy

Sensible arrangements Jan. We've discussed much the same kind of thing for each of us too. Don't see the point of a fuss. I agree with Ray about banks.


----------



## JanHank

raynipper said:


> Beware of informing the banks as they have a habit of freezing all assets until probate or some such expensive legal bullocks. Inform the banks as and when you have put everything you want in place and not before.!!!!!
> 
> Ray.
> Hurrrgsss xx


As all our accounts are shared accounts Ray wouldn't think there will be any trouble.


----------



## patp

If you have a will or if banks are in joint names with an "either" signature required then all will be fine. I opened a joint account with my mother in her later years where either of us could sign so there was no hiccough when handling her affairs. Her Will, with me as an executor, opened all the other doors that needed to be opened. Mind you she did not have any property etc.

More hugs..........


----------



## patp

You beat me to it Jan.


----------



## erneboy

Beware of that Jan. I think there may well be problems with joint accounts.

The bank will want to transfer the account into the name of the surviving parter and may well freeze the account while they do that, which can take a while. This happened to a friend of ours in the UK a couple of years ago. https://www.thinkmoney.co.uk/help-s...-account/what-to-do-when-someone-passes-away/

Crossed posts with Pat, who's experience was different. Perhaps it varies from bank to bank.


----------



## JanHank

erneboy said:


> Beware of that Jan. I think there may well be problems with joint accounts.
> 
> The bank will want to transfer the account into the name of the surviving parter and may well freeze the account while they do that, which can take a while. This happened to a friend of ours in the UK a couple of years ago. https://www.thinkmoney.co.uk/help-s...-account/what-to-do-when-someone-passes-away/
> 
> Crossed posts with Pat, who's experience was different. Perhaps it varies from bank to bank.


Joint accounts are not a problem with this bank according to what it says Alan I think the only thing I will forgo is the credit card which was in his name and I the second card holder.

*What you need to do with your joint account*

We try to make sorting out joint accounts when one person dies as smooth and easy as possible. We just need to see the death certificate and we'll transfer the joint account into the surviving account holder's name.


----------



## nicholsong

Jan


As you had discussed the arrangements with Hans, then why not do as you both agreed. It will save you a lot of stress of talking to everyone at a funeral and wake.


You and Motley could have a little private get-to-gether over a G+T and a snack at home. Maybe Motley does not drink G+T:wink2:


Nice of Blu to offer to come over - how is his German? Not that they would understand his accent. Is he bringing his MH?


We can understand you getting a bit tearful when having to tell people about Hans. Very understandable, but from your posts it sounds as though, with help from friends, you are holding up quite well. Not surprising after the fortitude you have demonstrated under weeks of pressure. Well done that girl!


G+B


----------



## JanHank

Yes Geoff that is what I am doing, just the way Hans wanted it.
Blu is coming to give me other help Geoff, he doesn't speak much German, but that doesn't matterI have others to do that, he will give me physical help. 
There is a lot to clear out and with him to help and do the heavy work it will not be such a sad chore.


----------



## nicholsong

JanHank said:


> Yes Geoff that is what I am doing, just the way Hans wanted it.
> Blu is coming to give me other help Geoff, he doesn't speak much German, but that doesn't matterI have others to do that, he will give me physical help.
> There is a lot to clear out and with him to help and do the heavy work it will not be such a sad chore.


He will be help and some company for you.

When he arrives tell him that when we knew he was going to be on the German-Polish borderlands we immediately booked a flight to UK. No of course not, but we are flying on 7th Sept to pick up MH so sorry we cannot invite him here again.

Geoff and Basia


----------



## JanHank

This past 15 months has been going through my mind, what a terrible time Hans has had, the pain from the urine retention, the catheter for a whole year with numerous bladder infections,
His heart trouble and pace maker, the prostate operation and all the trouble he had afterwards, his shortness of breath and unable to do anything too physical, his aching legs preventing him from walking far, his loss of weight and gastroenteritis when he had to be hospitalised, the migraines. 
Discovering he had a thrombopenea a blood disorder that could eventually developed in Leukaemia. 
The least trouble he had was his hip replacement. 
My god how much he has suffered and now he is free of all that. He was a brave man, there will never be another like him.


----------



## patp

Absolutely amazing to see the list of ailments he fought. So brave and tough for so long.


----------



## jiwawa

He did have a very hard time Jan - and it's been tough on you holding it together thro one thing after another. 

I hope you get another good night's sleep.


----------



## raynipper

Wasn't sure where to post but just made me think.... Ray.

When an old man died in the geriatric ward of a nursing home in an Australian country town, it was believed that he had nothing left of any value.
Later, when the nurses were going through his meagre possessions, they found this poem. Its quality and content so impressed the staff that copies were made and distributed to every nurse in the hospital.
One nurse took her copy to Melbourne .. The old man's sole bequest to posterity has since appeared in the Christmas editions of magazines around the country and appearing in mags for Mental Health. A slide presentation has also been made based on his simple, but eloquent, poem.
And this old man, with nothing left to give to the world, is now the author of this 'anonymous' poem winging across the Internet.

Cranky Old Man.....
What do you see nurses? . . .. . .What do you see?
What are you thinking .. . when you're looking at me?
A cranky old man, . . . . . .not very wise,
Uncertain of habit .. . . . . . . .. with faraway eyes?
Who dribbles his food .. . ... . . and makes no reply.
When you say in a loud voice . .'I do wish you'd try!'
Who seems not to notice . . .the things that you do.
And forever is losing . . . . . .. . . A sock or shoe?
Who, resisting or not . . . ... lets you do as you will,
With bathing and feeding . . . .The long day to fill?
Is that what you're thinking?. .Is that what you see?
Then open your eyes, nurse .you're not looking at me.
I'll tell you who I am . . . . .. As I sit here so still,
As I do at your bidding, .. . . . as I eat at your will.
I'm a small child of Ten . .with a father and mother,
Brothers and sisters .. . . .. . who love one another
A young boy of Sixteen . . . .. with wings on his feet
Dreaming that soon now . . .. . . a lover he'll meet.
A groom soon at Twenty . . . ..my heart gives a leap.
Remembering, the vows .. .. .that I promised to keep.
At Twenty-Five, now . . . . .I have young of my own.
Who need me to guide . . . And a secure happy home.
A man of Thirty . .. . . . . My young now grown fast,
Bound to each other . . .. With ties that should last.
At Forty, my young sons .. .have grown and are gone,
But my woman is beside me . . to see I don't mourn.
At Fifty, once more, .. ...Babies play 'round my knee,
Again, we know children . . . . My loved one and me.
Dark days are upon me . . . . My wife is now dead.
I look at the future ... . . . . I shudder with dread.
For my young are all rearing .. . . young of their own.
And I think of the years . . . And the love that I've known.
I'm now an old man . . . . . . .. and nature is cruel.
It's jest to make old age . . . . . . . look like a fool.
The body, it crumbles .. .. . grace and vigour, depart.
There is now a stone . . . where I once had a heart.
But inside this old carcass . A young man still dwells,
And now and again . . . . . my battered heart swells
I remember the joys . . . . .. . I remember the pain.
And I'm loving and living . . . . . . . life over again.
I think of the years, all too few . . .. gone too fast.
And accept the stark fact . . . that nothing can last.
So open your eyes, people .. . . . .. . . open and see.
Not a cranky old man .
Look closer . . . . see .. .. . .. . ME!!

Remember this poem when you next meet an older person who you might brush aside without looking at the young soul within ... . . .
we will all, one day, be there, too!


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## aldra

Me, I’m devastated

But you won’t see this Jan

But once upon a time we were friends 

But a silly thing ended it 

The dog whisperer 

Will ever live in my heart, I’ll never forget him 

A guy I never knew , but how I wished shadow had met him

Sandra


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## aldra

And how I wish I’d meet him too

I saw him on photos and videos 

He portrayed gentleness 

I watched him with the dogs

Gentleness and strength 

A special combination 

A combination not always seen

A combination I have in Albert 

So my heart is broken at the loss of Hans

Which isn’t useful 

To close to home and the feelings I have every time he has a scan

Sandra


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## JanHank

For the first time today I was able to tell someone in the village Hans had died and I didn't cry telling him, not to say it will be like that from now on, but its a start.
I have a super helper here with me for about 3 weeks, Alan who some may know as blu, as soon as I told him Hans had died he said "I am coming over". Monday night at 10 pm he arrived after driving 1,300 miles, the last 600 on Monday. Poor man had a tyre blow out when he was in the Netherlands and was charge 3-4 times a tyre price just for the tyre because his recovery cover pays the recovery charge.

Today the chap who has repaired all my little mishaps in the van came to see about fixing the waste bin on the door and has offered to put all the machinery on ebay for me :grin2: 
We have also cleared his clothes and given them to the unemployed charity. I needed to have someone with me when that was done so there was no time like the present to get on with it.
We now have Aladins cave, or rather attic to tackle, but that has to wait until its not 33° outside, he has many treasures hidden up there, he was a squirrel, but the times he needed something and found just what he wanted amongst his store is nobody business.

Without a doubt I will be moving as soon as I find a suitable place near to Heike, blu wishes I could find something before the winter because this is a lonely place in the summer and I very rarely see anyone when I walk Motley it will be dreadfully lonely in the winter.
Heike and Jürgen are looking for something for me, she will be here on September 27th so not long after blu leaves before I will have her company, she will come by train and she will sort out all the unwanted reams of paper work I no longer need. I will then take her home in the Navajo and stay with them for a while.
One of my nieces has also volunteered to come over for a couple of weeks should I need her to, 2 friends will be this side of the water next week and will come if I need them, but with blu here it won't be necessary unless they really are planning to come this way.
It seems things are starting to fall into place.


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## dghr272

What a magnificent gesture by Blu, tell the SCOTCH twit I was asking after him. (That term will raise his blood pressure) :- )

It’s times like these that good friends and family can really help you get through the days Jan, keep going girl Hans would be so proud of you. 

Big hug from me.
Terry


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## jiwawa

I don't think I know Blu but, as Geoff says, what a magnificent gesture. It will have enabled you to find your feet, small steps at a time.

Where is it Heike lives? I mean, is it convenient for calling?!?


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## erneboy

Good to hear from you Jan. Glad you have company. That's very decent of Blu/Alan.


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## blu-scot

Few familiar faces here and not all good ones lol, I see Aldra still thinks everything is all about her!!! Christ somethings never change!!!


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## dghr272

blu-scot said:


> Few familiar faces here and not all good ones lol, I see Aldra still thinks everything is all about her!!! Christ somethings never change!!!


Good to hear from you blu, I'm sure all here would join me in thanking you for the support you're giving Jan, do ya ken there's not many like you in a dozen laddy.

Terry


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## JanHank

dghr272 said:


> Good to hear from you blu, I'm sure all here would join me in thanking you for the support you're giving Jan, do ya ken there's not many like you in a dozen laddy.
> 
> Terry


Not sure if this is the same one Terry.:serious:


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## dghr272

JanHank said:


> Not sure if this is the same one Terry.:serious:


Oh no don't tell me there's two of them :wink2:

Terry


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## patp

So glad you are finding your way through your grief Jan. Another milestone conquered on your journey.

When we were selling our house we planned to move into the old Hymer if the house sold before we had found a property we liked. It made life so much easier to just deal with the sale first. We sold the house three times and three times it fell through at the last minute so we were glad we had not found our dream home. Then, of course, we got planning permission... 

Hope the sorting out is progressing smoothly. Must be very hard.


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## JanHank

All the clothes have gone to charity except 5 winter coats, one a sheepskin 3 Barber coats and a very warm anorak, I though I would hang them outside with a notice "If you like it and it fits please take it". 

It really is too hot to do a lot, blu has cleared 1/3 of the loft before it got so hot he couldn´t stay up there.
What a lot of stuff, there is a full awning, but I have no idea what size. 
I don´t think blu will be able to do everything in the 2+ weeks he is here and we also realise its a bit ambitious to think I will move this year, there is so much to get rid of and I have to find the right place first.


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## patp

Over here some of the charities, like British Heart Foundation or PDSA, will come and take a lot of stuff away in their big vans for free. There are also people that you can pay to clear stuff that a charity might not want. And then there is always the bonfire 

Would it pay to consult an estate agent to see if they have buyers waiting for properties in your area? You would have to find temporary accommodation but be in a good position, as a cash buyer, to snap up the right property when it came along.


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## HurricaneSmith

Most of us know how hard moving on is.

Sometimes we can find short cuts that simplify things. When my sister and I sold our parents home the prospective buyer wanted to make an offer for two or three bits of stuff.

We told them they could have them for nothimg, with the proviso that they took everything left. They couldn't believe their luck, and we solved a major logistical problem.
.


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## JanHank

Too early for that, I will contact estate agents if It is necessary because here a lot of people do it themselves.

I had forgotten about our other home, the Navajo. It started me off again seeing his lovely summer shirts he look so nice in and 2 pairs of trousers he had for about 40 years bought in Bury-st-Edmunds and they used to come out every summer. Chukka boots he wore when I first knew him, kept in there in case he went off in his slippers and had forgotten to put shoes in, (which often happened if we were out for just one night).
It is a living nightmare finding all the tools he has and the extras for the lathes and drill, I hate to think of them going as scrap when there is someone somewhere who would love to have them.


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## JanHank

HurricaneSmith said:


> Most of us know how hard moving on is.
> 
> Sometimes we can find short cuts that simplify things. When my sister and I sold our parents home the prospective buyer wanted to make an offer for two or three bits of stuff.
> 
> We told them they could have them for nothimg, with the proviso that they took everything left. They couldn't believe their luck, and we solved a major logistical problem.
> .


If a Berliner buys it as a second home they may well be grateful for some of the furniture to be left because I can´t take it all with me, there is just too much.


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## raynipper

I often look round my shed to see what I can dump Jan and everything has been or might be needed one day. So someone else will have the pleasure of deciding what gets kept and what goes. 
When we sold my mums house up in Co. Durham we only took the personal things and left everything else. The agent said that the next buyers might want me to clear the house entirely. I said then find another buyer and he did.

Ray.


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## nicholsong

JanHank said:


> Too early for that, I will contact estate agents if It is necessary because here a lot of people do it themselves.
> 
> I had forgotten about our other home, the Navajo. It started me off again seeing his lovely summer shirts he look so nice in and 2 pairs of trousers he had for about 40 years bought in Bury-st-Edmunds and they used to come out every summer. Chukka boots he wore when I first knew him, kept in there in case he went off in his slippers and had forgotten to put shoes in, (which often happened if we were out for just one night).
> It is a living nightmare finding all the tools he has and the extras for the lathes and drill, I hate to think of them going as scrap when there is someone somewhere who would love to have them.


Jan

Have thought of advertising the house in some engineering magazines/forums as complete with workshop and listing the machinery.

You could kill two birds with one stone'

You might be surprised who would come out of the woodwork.

Geoff


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## EJB

Been away and haven't been up to date.
You have our thoughts Jan and hope everybody's support, albeit from afar, will help just a little:smile2:


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## JanHank

I imagine I could do that with an estate agent Geoff, thanks for the idea.


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## nicholsong

JanHank said:


> I imagine I could do that with an estate agent Geoff, thanks for the idea.


I would take my suggested route without an Estate Agent ot they will want their percentage of the machine tools as well as the house - unless you negotiate otherwise.

For an advert in the right magazines you woul only need a translator and the advertising fee.

Keep thinking and talking

Geoff


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## JanHank

I have no idea how to find an engineering forum or engineering magazine if there is such a thing Geoff.


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## JanHank

The cremation takes place at 6 pm my Time this evening.


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## erneboy

A sad event Jan. I'll have a minute's silence here.


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## jiwawa

That's 5pm UK time - I'll be thinking of you then Jan. My sister did the same thing.


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## nicholsong

Jan


I shall metaphorically be holding your hand and will also give you a hug afterwards.


Geoff


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## HurricaneSmith

I'll be thinking of Hans too. A sad day.

.


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## nicholsong

Jan


Here is the HUG I promised you.


I hope Blu being there gave you some comfort.


Enjoy a glass or two together in Hans' memory I am raising mine to him now. To Hans!


Geoff


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## JanHank

HurricaneSmith said:


> I'll be thinking of Hans too. A sad day.
> 
> .


 The sad had already happened John, this just finalised his death, but he will always be with me telling me it's a good or bad idea whatever I am planning.
blu and I are asking him questions constantly and somehow an answer appears in front of our eyes of in our heads.:grin2: blu reckons he gets better answers from Hans than he does from me.
There is a lot to do so not a lot of time to fret.


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## blu66

JanHank said:


> HurricaneSmith said:
> 
> 
> 
> I'll be thinking of Hans too. A sad day.
> 
> .
> 
> 
> 
> The sad had already happened John, this just finalised his death, but he will always be with me telling me it's a good or bad idea whatever I am planning.
> blu and I are asking him questions constantly and somehow an answer appears in front of our eyes of in our heads./images/MotorhomeFacts_2014/smilies/tango_face_grin.png blu reckons he gets better answers from Hans than he does from me.
> There is a lot to do so not a lot of time to fret.
Click to expand...

Definitely better response from Hans, Milly just talks so much guff lol, but at least cookie likes her so that's a bonus

Cheers Hans (006) 
GBNF X


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## aldra

blu-scot said:


> Few familiar faces here and not all good ones lol, I see Aldra still thinks everything is all about her!!! Christ somethings never change!!!


How dare you

Check my posts over years

I've every right to feel devastated at Jans loss

And I do

I relate her feelings of loss to my feelings of loss to understand them

It's what we do without meaning to

It's how we feel another's pain

It's how we learn empathy

You perhaps do it by osmosis

Lucky you

Sandra


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## blu66

aldra said:


> blu-scot said:
> 
> 
> 
> Few familiar faces here and not all good ones lol, I see Aldra still thinks everything is all about her!!! Christ somethings never change!!!
> 
> 
> 
> How dare you
> 
> Check my posts over years
> 
> I've every right to feel devastated at Jans loss
> 
> And I do
> 
> I relate her feelings of loss to my feelings of loss to understand them
> 
> It's what we do without meaning to
> 
> It's how we feel another's pain
> 
> It's how we learn empathy
> 
> You perhaps do it by osmosis
> 
> Lucky you
> 
> Sandra
Click to expand...

Go away and stop bothering everyone!!! Do not reply as your now on my block list!!! This thread is about Jan and Hans!!!!!! Please leave it that way!!!


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## aldra

That’s fine

I never meant to bother anyone anyway 

Jan and I were friends for many years

We fell out

WE FELL OUT 

it didn’t need all of you to take sides

I’m disappointed if she feels she needed that 

As you know I don’t welcome support people to side with me 

But events occurred that were unexpected 

And yes she blocks my posts

So why do you feel you need to stand guard ?

I wouldn’t hurt her, it’s not in my nature 

And she no longer sees my posts

Unless you feel it necessary to pass them on 

And why would you?

Sandra


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## dghr272

Sandra if you had a thread of decency you’d stop, plenty of other threads for you without disrespecting this one with your attention seeking antics.

Terry


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## blu66

You really are an auld selfish, attention seeking drunk!!! I am a very close friend to Jan and Hans, therefore I do tend to look out for her and what stupid attention seekers say!!! What’s wrong with you, is no one paying you attention is that the problem? Now go seek attention elsewhere as you really are not wanted nor need here... this time I am really being polite as folk who know me will testify!!! Please do not test my patience as you will not like the result!! No go away!!!!!


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## jiwawa

I'm sure I'm not alone in being completely turned off by some of the personal abuse on the forum.

Can we please just use the Ignore button, or whatever it's called? Then folk won't read what they know will annoy them and the rest of us won't have to put up with what sounds like gratuitous verbal violence.

Thanks.


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## Pudsey_Bear

Thanks Jean, I was about to say similar, Jan has her on ignore so what's the point in it.


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## JanHank

*Please don´t post anything else on this thread.*


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