# A sad day indeed....



## Pusser (May 9, 2005)

I looked in the mirror this morning and I am sure my nose is getting bigger. So I mentioned this to the missus and apart from the obvious digs about my lying ratio, she said when you get older your nose does get bigger.  

I would like to know why this is and I would also like know why an other obvious part is getting smaller. If things get any worse I shall have to book myself in for a smear test.


----------



## bigfoot (May 16, 2005)

I think it is to copmpensate for 'the honourable member getting smaller'!
There have also been cases of Viagra affecting the nasal passages especially if you snort it! :lol:


----------



## lifestyle (Apr 27, 2008)

Oh i like it :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:


----------



## litcher (Jul 24, 2006)

Not only do noses get bigger with age but so do ears. 

One theory is that's it's to give reading glasses a nice, comfortable base! :lol: 

As for other bits getting smaller.....I guess you use your reading glasses more. :wink: :lol: :lol: 

Viv


----------



## badger (May 9, 2005)

Your lucky pusser....I havn't been able to SEE my "other bit" for a couple of years.........mainly due to central bits getting bigger.............my nose has always been big!!


----------



## Pudsey_Bear (Sep 25, 2008)

It's to counter balance your lying R's :lol: :lol: 

What about ear/nose hair :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: What point is/was there to it.

Kev.


----------



## locovan (Oct 17, 2007)

Your reminding me of a poem I have read

Copyright; Shirley Friend
From her book 'Another Dose From Floozie'

“Do you know...what day it is?”
“Nope”...said my beau. “What's today?”
“Well! If you can't remember”, I cried
“I'm not gonna say.
Well aren't you gonna ask me?”
I insisted with a few tears.
“Alright”, he said...”you're fifty today...
and you have been for three or four years”.

That wasn't what I wanted to hear.
Just a few...simple birthday wishes,
a romantic night...a bottle of wine
and someone to do the dishes.
Instead...like a mature plucked Cinderella
with mascara blurred...eyes
my Prince Charming declares he's swapping
my fifty for two twenty fives.

He'll have a problem handling two;
his belly hangs below his belt.
He said my boobs were no better
like saddle bags...last time he felt.
See...they fall underneath me arms.
He knelt on 'em once and they spread.
Reckoned he was leaning forward
to switch on the light overhead.

He can't do things...like he used to
gets short winded and very abrupt.
When we were young...he worked all night
now he's all night...working it up.
Mind you...I don't give him a lot of help
like I did when I was young.
The elasticity has left my vital parts
you could say...spring has sprung.

We try to get together...
was recommended a book called "Fore Play"
wasn't a crossword or card game in it,
and the pictures were worn away.
I looked at myself in the mirror
perhaps the problem lies with me.
Surely the body doesn't fall apart...
...life begins at fifty.

I need to recharge by batteries,
get rid of my facial hair,
buy new underwire bras,
make 'em look like a pair.
My beau used a whipper snipper on my face,
“I'll trim it”...he said...”it won't pull”.
So I laid on the floor with his foot on my neck,
it started...then ran out of fuel.
Just as well...it went berserk,
desexed our neighbour’s cat.
I said...”Whatever you do...don't mention it...
when you give 'em the snipper back.”

I've been going to the gym lately,
I wear the correct gear...
you know...leotards with that skinny strap
on the strategic part of your rear.
No-one told me to wear tights as well
as I sat on the rowing machine.
Imagine how I felt...when a man pulled it out,
thank goodness it came out clean.
I'm preparing my body and keeping fit,
you know age is a state of mind too,
don't ask me what state I'm in,
let's just say...’Thirty Two.’


----------



## Kelcat (Apr 20, 2008)

I've never met Pusser but I now have a mental picture that might leave me scarred for life :lol:


----------



## Zebedee (Oct 3, 2007)

He's only bragging Kelcat, 'cos he's worn it out!! 8O


----------



## Kelcat (Apr 20, 2008)

Oh Thanks Zeb - now the picture's even worse!


----------



## DABurleigh (May 9, 2005)

He was a fine figure of a man until he tried using the present MHF gave him. Fortunately his GP was on the ball, as it were, and managed to save a little.

http://www.motorhomefacts.com/modules.php?name=gallery2&g2_itemId=40543

Dave


----------



## Pusser (May 9, 2005)

That was a lovely evening and I was so pleased that society wanted my manhood embalmed and displayed in the Turner gallery. Had I been able to find it below my tummy I would have been immortalised in pink plaster. 8O

That was the time if I remember that I set the quiz questions which were so hard that even I only got four right and I had the answers.  In the end, someone supplied a correct answer to one question and won.


----------



## mandyandandy (Oct 1, 2006)

At least your glasses will be safer and have further to fall before they leave your face. 

Did you know that one ear is always closer to your nose than the other?? 

Mandy


----------



## MrsW (Feb 8, 2009)

badger said:


> Your lucky pusser....I havn't been able to SEE my "other bit" for a couple of years.........mainly due to central bits getting bigger.............my nose has always been big!!


Aah! You mean the larder overhangs the playroom these days.

And we all know why older men struggle to park?....... Well, what do you expect when they claim it is still 6 inches long? :lol: :lol: (sorry, hope this doesn't offend; feel free to admonish me if it does and I will apologise unreservedly! In my job we have a very wicked and rather irreverant sense of humour, but we still admire all you middle-aged and older guys!!)


----------



## Pudsey_Bear (Sep 25, 2008)

What, All of us or did you mean ALL of us?

Kev.


----------



## AberdeenAngus (Jul 26, 2008)

Have you heard you can get Viagra in eye drops now
.
.
.
.
It makes you look hard


----------



## Pusser (May 9, 2005)

MrsW said:


> badger said:
> 
> 
> > Your lucky pusser....I havn't been able to SEE my "other bit" for a couple of years.........mainly due to central bits getting bigger.............my nose has always been big!!
> ...


Are you an undertaker then.


----------



## MrsW (Feb 8, 2009)

Kev_n_Liz said:


> What, All of us or did you mean ALL of us?
> 
> Kev.


Read it as you will Kev! I'm in enough trouble already! :lol: :lol:


----------



## DTPCHEMICALS (Jul 24, 2006)

Well at least with big ears you will be able to see where you are going.

They will stop your hat falling over your eyes


Dave P


----------



## timbop37 (Jun 28, 2006)

Pusser said:


> I looked in the mirror this morning and I am sure my nose is getting bigger. So I mentioned this to the missus and apart from the obvious digs about my lying ratio, she said when you get older your nose does get bigger.
> 
> I would like to know why this is and I would also like know why an other obvious part is getting smaller. If things get any worse I shall have to book myself in for a smear test.


I guess the answer is that your nose is the same size but as the rest of you is getting smaller, your just seems bigger. that must it.


----------



## timbop37 (Jun 28, 2006)

When he was younger Jimmy Durante's nose was actually the smallist in his class :roll:


----------



## Pudsey_Bear (Sep 25, 2008)

In his class of noses or pupils?

Kev.


----------



## 104477 (May 13, 2007)

MrsW said:


> Aah! You mean the larder overhangs the playroom these days.
> And we all know why older men struggle to park?....... Well, what do you expect when they claim it is still 6 inches long? :lol: :lol: (sorry, hope this doesn't offend; feel free to admonish me if it does and I will apologise unreservedly! In my job we have a very wicked and rather irreverant sense of humour, but we still admire all you middle-aged and older guys!!)


Mrs W, oh Matron it is true
A nurse's humour is oft' askew
I remember well the procedure
That I was set to endure
A dozen pretty nurses assembled
And smiled, whilst I trembled
My rapidly shrinking mate
Must have foreseen his fate
When they whipped out the camera
To take shots of my bladder
I think it may easier have been 
With just one or two to be seen

And for the rest to have watched on the big screen!


----------



## Pusser (May 9, 2005)

timbop37 said:


> When he was younger Jimmy Durante's nose was actually the smallist in his class :roll:


His face must have shrunk then.


----------

