# Tuggers tash etc



## Pudsey_Bear

It seems our Tuggers is having a dilemma he's lost his identity.

Should he or should he not re-grow his tash, nay I go further should he go for the full monty, I mean he says he forsaken wimmin now so who;s he trying to please, I hate shaving and have had a beard of one sort or another since my late 20's.

You decide > >










Pic courtesy of FC


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## tugboat

Arse!


Ackshirley, that pic is a slight misrepresentation in that it was taken about 20 years ago when I still had some hair! I now look slightly less desirable (to the non-desperate), though I hope someone somewhere will confirm I still have a twinkle in my eye and the ability to make a woman laugh.:joker:


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## Pudsey_Bear

tugboat said:


> I still have a twinkle in my eye and the ability to make a woman laugh.:joker:


Yeah but it doesn't count if all you do is drop yer pants Tuggs.

> > >

.


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## tugboat

I had to, to put on the clown outfit. Murph was so amused, her ears went all wonky.


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## JacSprat

Go for it Tuggles - jeez - you can always get rid of it if it fails to titillate.
I'd LOVE to see it!!
:kiss:


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## tugboat

Gulp. Aw, shucks.


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## Kaytutt

Is Jaq talking about you dropping your pants or growing a tash? :-o


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## GEMMY

Dick Dastardly has a good one to copy


tony


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## JacSprat

Kaytutt said:


> Is Jaq talking about you dropping your pants or growing a tash? :-o


I like to be ambiguous...


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## tugboat

I love it when you talk dirty, Jacquie, but please not in front of the others.>


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## barryd

Kaytutt said:


> Is Jaq talking about you dropping your pants or growing a tash? :-o


Would you be able to tell the difference?


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## Pudsey_Bear

I vote for the twirly tash combined with a goatee, salt and pepper usually helps with this, or better still full on grey or white, also useful for mid afternoon snacks.


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## tugboat

I was considering a Walrus but that would get in the way of my hot lips, so now I'm thinking more along the lines of a Zapata for that authentic 70s porn look. Allegedly.

The tickle factor is very important with moustaches.


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## erneboy

tugboat said:


> Arse!
> ....................... I still have a twinkle in my eye and the ability to make a woman laugh.:joker:


Ah, but what are they laughing at Tuggers?


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## JacSprat

If you're going to go for a new look, why not go all the way - here's a little inspiration for you...meow!!


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## tugboat

Ah yes, one of Mr Connery's finest hours..............NOT!


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## nicholsong

Kev_n_Liz said:


> I vote for the twirly tash combined with a goatee, salt and pepper usually helps with this, or better still full on grey or white, also useful for mid afternoon snacks.


I saw Jimmy Edwards at a polo game using his tache for second sups of his pint:laugh:


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## tugboat

erneboy said:


> Ah, but what are they laughing at Tuggers?


I think maybe the purple silk lounging pyjamas were a little OTT for the occasion. By the time I got down to the pink posing pouch, she was lying on her back with all 4 limbs waving in the air.

RESULT!>


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## erneboy

You're doing very well Tuggers. Keep it up.


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## tugboat

nicholsong said:


> I saw Jimmy Edwards at a polo game using his tache for second sups of his pint:laugh:


A bushy 'tache littered with bits of carrot and tomato skins is not a good look, though. I shall have to make sure I carry a comb, something I haven't needed for a few years.


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## nicholsong

tugboat said:


> A bushy 'tache littered with bits of carrot and tomato skins is not a good look, though. I shall have to make sure I carry a comb, something I haven't needed for a few years.


The beer you can suck clean and nothing wasted. Not sure how it works with G+T.?:grin2:


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## Pudsey_Bear

tugboat said:


> Ah yes, one of Mr Connery's finest hours..............NOT!


Yup agree, he's so far up himself in that pic, there's nothing left for others :wink2: :wink2:


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## Pudsey_Bear

nicholsong said:


> I saw Jimmy Edwards at a polo game using his tache for second sups of his pint:laugh:


Ah yes, a very funny man, our English teacher was very like him, ex Jap POW, mention the war and he would talk all through the lesson, and explains why my grammar is so crap.


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## tugboat

I thought I'd resurrect this thread, simply because I know how interested everyone is in my facial hair. Not.

However I knew you'd all want to know that the porn 'tache is coming along nicely (I bet Barry is getting all excited now). I've gone for the semi-zapata edition to cover the maximum amount of face (don't want to scare people). Not sure when it will be suitable for display, but I've got the camera on charge, as the local photographer told me to **** off as he wasn't interested. So I may have to invest in a selfie stick, or maybe I can nail the camera to a lump of wood.

Next question, is what outfit to wear. I might go for a onesie, something sheer and semi-transparent? What do you think, folks? The more outrageous the better. I bet I know who will answer this question. The usual suspects!


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## Kaytutt

You could always borrow the gnome's lime green mankini? he wont be needing it while he's north of the border


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## nicholsong

Kaytutt said:


> You could always borrow the gnome's lime green mankini? he wont be needing it while he's north of the border


I shudder!:surprise:


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## tugboat

Kaytutt said:


> You could always borrow the gnome's lime green mankini? he wont be needing it while he's north of the border


Bit small in the lunchbox department, judging by the pictures I've seen. Wonder if they do them in 'cuddly' sizes. Nah, I don't like the thongy bit at the back. Sorry, Kay, I realise it'll be a major disappointment.

Next.


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## tugboat

Hmm, maybe a selfie stick isn't a good idea!


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## Pudsey_Bear

See Goofs, I've not said a word about your tash etc all day.

I do await the pictures though.


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## aldra

I thought you were fantastic Tuggy

Just the way you are

But what do I know???

I think
Albert is looking pretty good too

Sandra


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## tugboat

How did the test go today, Sandra? Weather down here has been horrible, so hoped it would be OK for Albert.


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## barryd

*NEWSFLASH!*

"The Tash" has been spotted on its way to the Totnes Groovers Disco night at the WI. Way to go Tuggers. Looking good! Glad you managed to get those stains out of your dungarees.


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## dghr272

Loving the platforms.... Will help you reach places others can't .......or won't.


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## Pudsey_Bear

barryd said:


> *NEWSFLASH!*
> 
> "The Tash" has been spotted on its way to the Totnes Groovers Disco night at the WI. Way to go Tuggers. Looking good! Glad you managed to get those stains out of your dungarees.


Got rid of his bulge too, sorry, what you say Barry, oh, he never had one.


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## Pudsey_Bear

*Here ya go Geoffrey*


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## HermanHymer

Not many Argos pencils in that lunchbox!


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## tugboat

No pencils in my lunchbox, Viv, just meat and 2 veg. Fully leaded.


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## barryd

tugboat said:


> No pencils in my lunchbox, Viv, just meat and 2 veg. Fully leaded.


Two baby carrots and a Chipolata!


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## tugboat

Personally, I prefer the '2 sprouts and a bratwurst' version, but what do I know.


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## barryd

tugboat said:


> Personally, I prefer the '2 sprouts and a bratwurst' version, but what do I know.


I'll see your 2 sprouts and a bratwurst and raise you 2 plumbs and a Marrow.


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## tugboat

No meat there there, Bazza, you gone veggie?


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## barryd

tugboat said:


> No meat there there, Bazza, you gone veggie?


A Giant Black Pudding then.


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## Pudsey_Bear

Err can we get back to his tache before I bring my breakfast back up.


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## barryd

The Tash is coming on well. However he needs to do something about his atire. Look at the look of embaressment on poor Ellie's face. Spotted this morning walking along the Dart River.


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## tugboat

Dobbo, you are in more trouble than you have ever been before.:rightfighter7:

Did I ever mention that he drank all my booze when he visited.:knob:


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## barryd

tugboat said:


> Dobbo, you are in more trouble than you have ever been before.:rightfighter7:
> 
> Did I ever mention that he drank all my booze when he visited.:knob:


Semper in merda; sola altitudo variat!

You being Posh shouldnt have to google that one. I assume you do Latin!


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## tugboat

Oh yeah. Like Latin really has a place in modern life!


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## nicholsong

tugboat said:


> Oh yeah. Like Latin really has a place in modern life!


Tuggers

Don'knock it - my (rusty) Latin, and a bit of Anient Greek, allows me to have a stab at the meaning of some words and sentences in Italian, Spanish and the bits of French I do not know. Even some polish words have a Latin derivation, but usually because they have been borrowed from other latin-based languages, since the Romans never got this far.

Quad erat demonstrandum

Geoff ( I do not know what Geoff would be in Latin)


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## tugboat

Boggus offus, Twattus Maximus.>>:grin2:


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## nicholsong

tugboat said:


> Boggus offus, Twattus Maximus.>>:grin2:


Ignorame [vocative case]

There is no 'W' in the Latin alphabet.

Malaka!


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## tugboat

Boggus offus, Tittus Arsus Maximus!:grin2:


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## aldra

Well Tuggy

Apparently you have a "partner "and a new possible love

So I don't care about a tash or no

You just enjoy yourself

And take care

Geoff, stop showing off 
I'm working on Geoff in Latin

It's not promising my lovely one

No it's notpromising at all
Fortunately you are 

Sandra


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## aldra

Actually

I feel like ****

Really bad evening
So my ex Tuggy 

Shadow is alright with it too

He is in love with Winston

And his bits are missing

Winston adores him

And shortly his bits will be missing
Bliss

Aldra


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## nicholsong

aldra;1494234
Geoff said:


> Sandra, I am not promising anything:surprise::laugh:
> 
> Geoff


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## aldra

Geoff

Nothing is that promising at the moment

I'm not so good

A promise would help

Whisper
Sandra


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## nicholsong

Sandra

This is a w-h-i-s-p-e-r

I give you a long-distance hug now and 

Promise - another one tomorrow.

Do not tell your other admirers.

Hope things better soon.

XXX

Geoff


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## aldra

Geoff

Your whisper is so special

Forget the other admirers 
I'm curling up

Just at peace

Don't forget that hug tomorrow
I'm waiimg

Curled up
Sandra


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## nicholsong

[ In a whisper ] Are you awake yet?

Whether you are or not here is the big HUG I promised you. I hope you are waking up to a better day for you.

:smile2::smile2::smile2:

And

XXX

Geoff


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## aldra

Feeling much better now Geoff 

Sandra


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## JanHank

aldra said:


> Well Tuggy
> 
> Apparently you have a "partner "and a new possible love
> 
> So I don't care about a tash or no
> 
> You just enjoy yourself
> 
> And take care
> 
> Sandra


Remember `Paint your waggon´ Sandra?
Well she had 2 men, why can´t tuggy have 2 gals?
Pardner
Jan.


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## aldra

Jan

He can have as many as he wants

But

If he found a true love

Well I'd be made up

He is lovely

And I know

Because he has stayed with me and Albert

And will again
Did I mention that ??

Aldra


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## tugboat

Golly, Sandra, you're getting a bit carried away with the matchmaking. Rumours of our forthcoming nuptuals are a tad premat ridiculous.

We've only met once and, in defence of JacSprats reputation, I think it is only fair to say that.....................oh ermm, I forget what I was going to say now.

Anyway, I'm delighted to have you lovely ladies discussing me behind my back. The porn 'tache is coming along nicely now, thank you for asking!

If you are in a seedy cinema watching, shall we say a 'dubious' sort of movie, and a chap with a porn 'tache and obvious wig comes appears on screen, just yell out "Tuggy" and watch the cinema empty in less than 10 seconds.>


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## nicholsong

tugboat said:


> Golly, Sandra, you're getting a bit carried away with the matchmaking. Rumours of our forthcoming nuptuals are a tad premat ridiculous.
> 
> We've only met once and, in defence of JacSprats reputation, I think it is only fair to say that.....................oh ermm, I forget what I was going to say now.
> 
> Anyway, I'm delighted to have you lovely ladies discussing me behind my back. The porn 'tache is coming along nicely now, thank you for asking!
> 
> If you are in a seedy cinema watching, shall we say a 'dubious' sort of movie, and a chap with a porn 'tache and obvious wig comes appears on screen, just yell out "Tuggy" and watch the cinema empty in less than 10 seconds.>


Tuggers

What you on today? Coke or Crystal Meth?

Save some for me - although it would cheaper to let me raid the booze locker, but I am sure that is under lock and key since your 'Experience'

Geoff


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## tugboat

No-one is ever drinking my booze again apart from me. Did I mention that that ****head BarryD virtually cleaned me out when he visited. The only thing he left me was a bottle of tonic! That rotten so-and-so has a thirst like a camel having it's knackers squished between 2 bricks.


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## barryd

tugboat said:


> No-one is ever drinking my booze again apart from me. Did I mention that that ****head BarryD virtually cleaned me out when he visited. The only thing he left me was a bottle of tonic! That rotten so-and-so has a thirst like a camel having it's knackers squished between 2 bricks.


Thats a lie!!! I left you a massive block of cheese!! And don't forget the huge bottle of Gin I bought you at Newcastle Airport. It wasn't my fault the flight was cancelled and I had to drink it in the hotel as they wouldn't let me bring it back through security. Its the thought that counts.

If that bottle of Tonic was the one i left by my bed you haven't drank it have you? It wasn't tonic.


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## tugboat

I didn't know about that one. The industrial cleaning squad I sent in didn't mention it!:bootyshake: A couple of them did come out of there looking a bit green.


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## aldra

No drinks for visitors ?

Well that's it

Much as I did love you I'm reassessing visiting you

So one experience turns you into a skinflint?

Ok I'll bring my own wine

Sandra


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## barryd

aldra said:


> No drinks for visitors ?
> 
> Well that's it
> 
> Much as I did love you I'm reassessing visiting you
> 
> So one experience turns you into a skinflint?
> 
> Ok I'll bring my own wine
> 
> Sandra


Yeah you tell him Sandra! Tight git he is. Just remember the lovely wine I brought to your house last time that you then made me drink myself. Bit of an own goal that one.


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## aldra

BARRY

You had already drunk all the Leffe I bought for you

Before you started on the wine

You almost matched me

Almost

Although I was fine in the morning

Up cooking your breakfast

You , well you we're a bit under the weather

My lovely one

Aldra


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## tugboat

aldra said:


> No drinks for visitors ?
> 
> Well that's it
> 
> Much as I did love you I'm reassessing visiting you
> 
> So one experience turns you into a skinflint?
> 
> Ok I'll bring my own wine
> 
> Sandra


Don't worry, Sandra, I'll get stocked up before your visit. We'll have to keep everything a secret though, 'cos you-know-who will turn up if he knows I've got booze in the house.

He cleaned out my drinks cupboard last time, did I mention that?

Oh, and stop hijacking my thread, this is supposed to be about the rebirth of the porn 'tache. Another couple of weeks and it'll be long enough for a combo-over. Obviously that will be an important event and I'm immense really looking forward to that.:jester:


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## aldra

So is it long enough to dipinto your drink?

Can you suck it of later.?

Sandra


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## tugboat

Ooh, Sandra, you are awful!:kiss:

P.S. You owe me a laptop! This one's a right mess now.


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## barryd

When are we going to see some photographic evidence of the "Tash"?


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## tugboat

I had to abandon the zapata. One side was dark, the other was grey, made it look like a halfatache. Maybe I should invest in some Grecian 2000?

What did people think of Sandra's last post, I thought it was a bit personal, meself.>


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## barryd

Arggh!!! FFS!!!! Ive fallen out of bed! Bit close and large for this time in the morning! I need a lie down.


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## aldra

I was discussing your moustache Tuggy

What were you thinking??

On second thoughts, don't answer that

Sandra


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## aldra

Actually my babe

I'm not sure I like the tash

You looked pretty good clean shaven

You are not growing it for these Pillocks on here are you ?
If so

Cross out pillocks and substitute

Pillocks 
Sandra


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## tugboat

It's just for a larf, Sandra, I can't even remember how it started, I bet it involved that Barry character.

I was still a bit baby-faced when I was in my early 30s (you've seen the visage superimposed by the aforementiond Barry onto sundry inappropriate bodies), so when I was promoted I grew the 'tache to give myself a bit of gravitas. Got rid of it after divorce (no more inner thighs to tickle:crying Now, I'm just trying to cover up part of my well-used and, frankly, sagging and debauched face.:frown2:


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## aldra

Listen

Your face is beautiful

It shines from the inner you
I'm in love

Alberts in love

He is never ever in love
With anyone who isn't worth it 

So my babe you have passed the test
Sandra


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## barryd

Dont blame me Tugloaf! You wanna grow a baby ferret above your top lip thats up to you. Your Harime of MHF ladies will probably still swoon over you either way.


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## aldra

Well I'm swooning

Sandra


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## tugboat

Aw gosh, Sandra, that's so sweet. It's all true, of course, and you didn't mention my modesty!! You and Albert are lovely people and I feel very lucky to have met you and have you as my friends. Long may that continue.


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## aldra

Tubby

A word of advice
Forget Albert

So ok he likes you

Me I in love with you

So just concentrate on me

Sandra


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## tugboat

Oy, who you calling 'Tubby'?

It may well be true, but I don't want everyone else to know. Sheesh.


signed. Embarassed of South Devon.


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## barryd

tugboat said:


> Oy, who you calling 'Tubby'?
> 
> It may well be true, but I don't want everyone else to know. Sheesh.
> 
> signed. Embarassed of South Devon.


Rather that than being called a Fat Ba*****! Guffaw!! :grin2:


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## tugboat

Yeah, I'd hate to be mistaken for you. Guffive!


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## barryd

tugboat said:


> Yeah, I'd hate to be mistaken for you. Guffive!


Your the one that ate all the Pies!!!!


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## aldra

A mere slip of the finger TuGGy my love

Sandra


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## tugboat

Phew, I'll let you off then!0


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## nicholsong

aldra said:


> A mere slip of the finger TuGGy my love
> 
> Sandra


Sandra

Having seen the post with the 'Anorexia' T-shirt I think your finger should slip everytime from now on - and no apologies.

Geoff (The slightly slimmer one)


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## aldra

Good point my slimmer Geoff

Alberts dealing with his hormonal fat by cycling 

Now 11miles a day

Three with the fat hound from hell

8+ Miles by himself

So that Tuggy needs to get sorted

He is cute though
But one of many on here

Wink
Sandra


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