# Anxiety



## patp (Apr 30, 2007)

Anyone else a sufferer?

I have had it for years and it causes me loss of sleep. I wake in the early hours and have trouble going back to sleep because I worry about the silliest of things and cannot stop myself.

It is worse lately as we are, reluctantly on my part, moving house and I am in a constant state of anxiety over all the little details and the bigger picture. 

The doctor has tried various drugs but nothing is working without terrible side effects.

I have tried meditation and yoga but just find myself worrying about stuff during it!

I would like to try hypnotherapy but the doctor says it is unregulated. He says psychologists charge about £800 per hour so is not likely to refer me for that either!


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## ThePrisoner (Jan 13, 2009)

Hi Pat

As a sufferer for many years myself I find the only solution for me is cognitive behavioural therapy. This is available on the nhs for serious sufferers. However, a simple tactic to use, which may help, would be to ask yourself "whatever you feel you are worrying about, do I have the ability to change it or have any influence".

If the answer is yes, act on it. If no, put it to the back of your mind, as whatever will be will be. There is therefore nothing you can do about it.

It also helps to create "to do lists" and only do things on that list. I believe there is an app out now called ziplist which may help. 

But, absolutely insist your gp refers you for CBT. 

Good luck.


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## Zebedee (Oct 3, 2007)

Hi Pat

I'm not joking, but I thought everybody did that!

I certainly do. It seems to come in phases, but quite frequently I wake up at about 4.00am and fret about the daftest things, and can't get to sleep again . . . until it's time to get up!! :roll: 

I console myself in the knowledge that it will all seem monumentally trivial in the stark light of day - but I still can't get back to sleep.

Don't worry about it - if you are going bonkers, I am too!! :lol: 

Dave


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## Brock (Jun 14, 2005)

I've never been anxious but over the last 40 years, I've managed people whose anxieties range from major events to what seem to others, trivial events. Often, the most anxious are those with a heart of gold.

The Prisoner is right and so that could be a starting point.

Others I know found they could relax in peaceful areas such as graveyards and churches. This enables them to find time to come to terms and put in context all the things that are bothering them. Sometimes they meet people to whom they can talk. I know some found peace in religion but I'm not religious so that I'll leave you to think about this line. I will sometimes go away in the van for a day or two to find time to think through personal issues [not work ones].

You can ban the term 'anxiety' and try and focus on a more positive approach. Anxiety often stems from a need to think things through in greater detail than some. That can be a great asset. So instead of feeling anxious, try saying "I'm thinking this through."

You can also stop doing things that cause you anxiety unless the list includes motorhoming!

Have you tried mind mapping? They teach it in schools now and its widely used in organisations. It's a way of making sense of a jumble of information. When we move house, I draw a mind map of all the things that are affecting the family at the moment [sensemaking]. We keep this up to date so that we always know what is affecting what we do. We convert this into a list of actions in a structured way - actually I use another mind map but the missus is a list person - and deal with them. Having unbundled our mind of all our thoughts, we are better able to deal with issues large or small.

There are lots of techniques that are available on-line that will help you think things through. These will help control your anxiety and make it work for your benefit. Have a look at these:

http://www.sensemaking.co.uk/index.html
http://www.mind-mapping.co.uk/make-mind-map.htm
http://www.mindtools.com/index.html

The last one gives you free access to a wind range of tools and some that attract charges. You can use for problem solving, decision making and implementing plans. It also includes some tips for managing stress. The hard part is often knowing where to start. I always start with a sensemaking diagram on an A3 sheet of paper [or the back of wallpaper]


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## Penquin (Oct 15, 2007)

4.00am is obviously a popular time for us to all wake up and start to worry about things that you cannot change....

I agree with Zebedee that it is quite common behaviour but if it is causing distress then you must seek advice and assistance - CBT is obviously a good route to take and may allow you to put such thoughts into perspective an begin to relax.

I find that if I read for a bout 20 minutes or so, I can return to sleep soon after - a Kindle with light is very useful and means that I no longer have to be called "Russell" as I turn the pages over 

I hope that you can get the help that you need and am sure that the move will go well and you will discover all sorts of new challenges and things to do - lots more learning opportunities so that you will wonder "Why was I concerned about this?"

Dave


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## Grizzly (May 9, 2005)

I find a set of earphones and a CD of an old familiar talking book of short stories ( in my case the Sherlock Holmes stories) works almost 100% of the time when I either can't get to sleep for things going round in my mind or work up early with unknown worries. I know all the stories by heart now but they stop me thinking about anything else. New books are not a good move as I actually stay awake to listen to them, neither is the radio.

It also helps me to have a notebook and pencil - not pen as they mark the bedclothes- beside the bed. I can write down things that I feel I have to sort out without turning on the light. I use it like a sort of dustbin at night, to empty my mind before I go to bed. I don't even look at it next morning sometimes but find it does act as a sort of mental full stop to the day and saves me waking early to worry about things undone.

G


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## Lesleykh (Apr 13, 2009)

I agree that a large percentage of people will have something they are anxious about keep them awake in the wee small hours at some point in their life. However, when you are worried about worrying, I think it might be time to do something about it.

My sister went through her GP to a CBT mentor who gave her exercises to work through, such as wearing an elastic band on her wrist and pinging it while saying "no" whenever she had a particular worrying thought (usually her thought was that she was going to die of some health related issue, despite being a healthy person). While many people decry CBT, I have to say this worked for my sister and she manages her anxiety much better these days.

I'd say it is worth seeing your GP.

Lesley


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## Jimblob44 (Oct 26, 2013)

The only way I find I get a good nights sleep is to have the radio on all night, I put my headphones on, tune to radio 4 lie back and before I know it i am fast asleep (radio 4 in the wee small hours is not the most exciting or stimulating chanel)
Before I started this night time regime I would lie awake for hours going over every small worry or concieved slight, I always felt more drained in the morning than at any other time.
Of course my remedy is not a cure for anxiety but it does help me get to sleep.

Jim.


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## Annsman (Nov 8, 2007)

Try this. When you wake up turn on your computer and Google EU CAP after 2013 and start reading! I guarantee that by the end of page one you will be fast asleep! Neither will you have got into debt paying a therapist, become addicted to sleeping pills or gone any further mad!

Very little, as others have said, can be sorted by worrying about it at 04.00. We all do it of course but as long as you aren't drinking heavily or taking hard drugs as a result you should be fine.


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## Charisma (Apr 17, 2008)

Worry and Anxiety have been around since the beginning of time and is in part how we work our way through things that happen to us. If we didn't care about stuff (which can lead to worry) then we could get into all sorts of trouble in all sorts of situations. The problem is when we worry excessively about stuff that most of the time we have no control over and fear of what might happen (but rarely does) makes it worse.

Brock mentioned religion helps some people, but so far nobody has mentioned that it has helped them. Personally I find great comfort in knowing God as being someone who cares about me and my circumstances, and who specifically tells me in the bible not to be anxious or worry about anything, but to pray about everything, and His peace will keep my heart and mind calm as a result. (its in Philippians chapter 4, verses 6 and 7 if you want to look it up)

We all face trying times and difficult circumstances, but for me, knowing that God loves me, and cares about my thoughts, worries and feelings enough to give me a promise of relief from worry and anxiety is fantastic - and it works for me.

I hope that one of the suggestions that have been given works for you.

All the best

Dave


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## patp (Apr 30, 2007)

Some very interesting and helpful suggestions. Thank you I will be following them up.
I will mention that I also swallow air and spend my waking hours burping. I grind my teeth lately and have felt quite panicy at times. I am a bit of (or rather a lot of!) a perfectionist and much of my worrying is about getting everything right or doing it "properly" which, of course, is impossible! Doesn't help to tell myself that, though, and I drive others mad with the attention to detail I have to put into everything.
I then worry about others impression of me and my funny ways!

Sleep is such a comfort and if I could just sleep for most nights I would cope with the odd one of wakefulness. I almost always get up and read and sometimes I can go back to sleep but often not and end up just getting up and surfing the net. If I do absolutely nothing and talk to no one other than my husband all day then I am usually ok. Surely that is not the way to live and not good for one long term? I can see the attraction of being a hermit lol!


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## aldra (Jul 2, 2009)

Pat the truth is we all go through periods of anxiety

One of the problems of feeling anxious is that we need to think of a worry to match the feeling which leads to inconsequential things assuming mammoth proportions especially in the early hours of the morning

That said if it interferes with life long term then something needs to be done

CBT is a good way of changing your approach and responses to anxiety and your GP should be able to refer you

Another approach could be counselling, someone who can listen in a non judgemental way whilst you sort your thoughts out 

Try not to worry about what you think people think, I can assure you that they are probably not thinking anything like that

There is nothing wrong with being a perfectionist and giving attention to detail, just with worrying about the possibility of failure You actually can't fail until it is your last and final attempt at something , until that moment it's a learning curve, remember that  

I don't know when you grind your teeth, but check that out with the dentist, there are shields to protect your teeth especially useful if it's a night time habit

Above all be gentle with yourself and have faith that it can and will be sorted out

Sandra


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## onnilucky (May 21, 2013)

I have a transistor radio under the edge of my bed tuned to radio 4 , and an earplug under the pillow.
When I awake and worry about things I put the radio on for 30 minutes, put the earplug in andI find that the world service at 3 to 4 in the morning sends me straight off again.


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## Zebedee (Oct 3, 2007)

Why do you have to sleep only at night Pat?

Think laterally - as a not-so-elderly retired person is there any reason why you couldn't take a nap for an hour after lunch? :wink:

That would be long enough to refresh you, as I expect you know from experience as a motorhomer. In your younger days (_if I may be so bold _ :roll: ) no doubt you lost a complete night's sleep en route to France, and got to the stage next day where your eyes were prickly and you felt unable to keep awake. An hour's kip by the roadside and you were up and away again until bedtime. _(I can certainly remember doing that quite often when we were skint, and had to take the cheapest crossing at 1.00am in the caravan.)_

Couldn't do it now (_I'm a lot older than you_!  ) but it does indicate a possible "fix" if not a cure for your problem.

A friend of ours has a different sleep disorder, and the only thing that works for him is to stay up until about 2 or 3am before going to bed. This means the dozy beggar doesn't get up until about 10am, which would be no good for me - but again it does indicate that convention need not be followed slavishly.

Good luck . . . Now I shall lie awake tonight, worrying about you lying awake worrying about the price of fish, or something equally earth shaking! :lol:

Dave


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## Jamsieboy (Jan 14, 2011)

Anxiety is essentially a state of mind although it can be caused or made worse by medical or mental health factors.

We often worry about all sorts of things and that can actually cripple us.

We can do something over the things we have control over. List them and work through a "to do list". For those things we have no control over list them down and then agree to pass them over to whoever has control over them (in your minds eye). This helps release us from anxiety over them issues.

Turning over and over in bed can actually make you feel worse. Get up and make a cup of tea. Have a seat, drink your tea and read a little to help prepare you for bed again.

If symptoms continue see your GP who may offer you meds and or referral for more specialist help.


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## patp (Apr 30, 2007)

Now being the perfectionist I am - I try to get the full 8 hours and feel a failure if I don't. Perhaps I should convince myself that 4 is plenty and just put up with being tat (tired all the time!).
An after lunch nap is a possibility but I think I should be doing something more constructive and worry about skiving off! See what I mean? I think I am a lost cause ha ha!


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## aldra (Jul 2, 2009)

Pat

There is no magic number for the hrs of sleep we need some need more some less

As I get older I seem to need less but I'm perfectly happy to have an afternoon nap or indeed a late morning one if I'm tired . I go to bed with a book and generally fall asleep for an hour or so

I'm retired my time is my own :lol: :lol: 

As yours should be

Aldra


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## Grizzly (May 9, 2005)

patp said:


> Now being the perfectionist I am - I try to get the full 8 hours and feel a failure if I don't. Perhaps I should convince myself that 4 is plenty and just put up with being tat (tired all the time!).
> An after lunch nap is a possibility but I think I should be doing something more constructive and worry about skiving off! See what I mean? I think I am a lost cause ha ha!


Skiving off what ?

Some of the most effective figures in history used to take an afternoon nap.

Four hours is not enough, though , as you get older, you do need less. You should not put up with TAT either- can make you less effective when you are awake !

G


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## barryd (May 9, 2008)

Its a horrible feeling and you have my sympathy.

Lack of sleep just makes it worse and you end up in a viscious circle.

Its mainly work with me. Maybe I spent too much time away I dunno but since I started trying to rebuild the business its just freaking me out. Went to a new customer site this morning, stressed all night about it and was almost physically sick this morning worrying about it. Stuff I would do years ago in my sleep.

I find it hard to relax and have started seeing a councilor. Some say I should have seen one 30 years ago!  

I used to love to read on a nght but I find myself reading the same pages over and over again. The only thing I can focus on now is forums, cant even watch TV properly.

Worryingly the only time I properly relax these days is with a drink and Im trying to limit that to once a week.

Good luck.


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## 747 (Oct 2, 2009)

It is understandable because you are selling your home and it is rated at one of the most stressful times for people.

Your age will have something to do with it as well .... that is my pet theory. I have noted many instances in older people who led busy and sometimes stressful lives. They took it all in their stride because that was the norm. Once retired and in a different routine, they got stressed over much smaller things. I find I can be like that since I retired and had a nice, slow paced routine. You also need less sleep.

Try to chill. If you wake up at 4 am, make a cup of tea and watch a beautiful sunrise, read a book. Anything that takes your mind off your worries.


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## coppo (May 27, 2009)

I concur with 747 Pat, do think it is all to do the house not being sold yet, especially as you thought you were so close to doing the deal.

CBT is a good way for some people, I prefer natural remedies but it sounds like you have tried some already.

Chat with doctor maybe best.

Paul.


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## pippin (Nov 15, 2007)

Even though I live in Wales I don't count sheep if I can't sleep. :roll:

We have an old industrial Gents master pendulum clock.

Every 30 seconds it gives a clunk as it triggers the slave clocks.

So, I lie there and take my pulse at the wrist.

Clunk “one, two, three, four............twenty four” clunk.

Multiply by two and that's my pulse rate.

I keep on doing this and within a few minutes I start losing count.

Shortly after I am out for the count!!! ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

Unfortunately for the kids, when they visit - the clock keeps them awake :lol:


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## Rapide561 (Oct 1, 2005)

*Pills and potions*

Hi

I was given Citalopram at 20 then 40 mg, it worked but absolutely riddled with side effects, but battled on for four months. Then tried Mirtazpine - slept like a log with it (45mg) but useless at everything else! The Setraline - again no good for me - side effect city but finally onto Escitalopram, 20 mg. Escitalopram is very similar to Citalopram but pure, very potent and in my case, very effective. Oh, Escitalopram is expensive and thus is prescribed with reluctance and as a last resort...

My GP was honest about the cost, so I asked Tesco pharmacy how much it was to buy. They could not tell me the price without a "private prescription" but said the cost to them was three times higher than Citalopram.

Google "drugs on line Canada" and you will see the prices.

I'm likely to be on Escitalopram for maybe another year but it has certainly helped me through some dark days.

Russell


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## patp (Apr 30, 2007)

It seems quite a common problem then. All except my husband though!
I wonder if we are programmed to be more nervous and anxious as we age. I have always been anxious in social situations but now find it is more generalised.
Certainly helps to share. I awoke last night and immediately thought of you all reading and counting and drinking tea!


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## aldra (Jul 2, 2009)

Ah well pat 

Each to his/her own

Thinking of us lot on here is guaranteed to keep you awake, or possibly give you nightmares :lol: :lol: :lol: 

You are in good company anxiety is a common problem as you see, you are not alone  

Sandra


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## patp (Apr 30, 2007)

Russel my dog is on Mirtazapine! She has Addisons disease (something else to worry about!) and her appetite is awful. The vet told me it is given to high flying vet students to help with their anxiety. It was found to stimulate the appetite so they use it in poorly cats and now trying it on Willow. It is working very well on her and she is certainly a happier dog. I also give her vitamin B6 and take it myself as it is supposed to help with serotonin levels which are the feel good hormones.


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## cronkle (May 1, 2005)

This thread re-enforces my belief that you can never be sure how fragile the other people on a forum are. It makes me a bit more cautious with the cutting remarks.

Another observation is that a lot of coping methods that people are describing are distraction techniques; mine is as simple as deliberately think of something pleasant for a while. I can only think that by being in a calmed state for a period allows the brain chemicals to reduce/change and along with it goes the anxiety.

Reminiscing about holidays in the van is one as is planning elements of the next trip. I think of it as using the mental energy for something more useful.

Good luck


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## drcotts (Feb 23, 2006)

I have been going theorugh the mill a bit the past few months

Have you got an andriod or Iphone.
You can get lots of free Mp3 files both hypnosis and feel good about yourself stuff. i use joseph clughs files which are free on his app or from his web site josephclough.com

Try them and see how you get on theres lots of chioce

Phill


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## Penquin (Oct 15, 2007)

IMO this thread once again reflects a benefit that could never have been anticipated for a MH forum.

It is good to see that things which individuals encounter are actually not unique and are more common than we realise and that a whole different range of suggestions have been made that one person would never have been able to devise by themselves.

Thanks to one and all for your input - I think all of us can learn a great deal from reading these posts, since all of us can experience the same things at times and often without rhyme or reason as to why.

I hope that patp can find a way through the problem - perhaps using suggestions from the thread, it may never be totally eradicated but may be reduced to a more acceptable level that allows normal life (and sleep) to be resumed.

Best wishes,

Dave


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## Camdoon (Sep 21, 2012)

The wife and I have swapped roles as regard to stress.

As our children are now teenagers/early 20's she is stressed because she cannot "control" them or know where they are. She was never stressed until now.
I on the other hand used to worry about my job and the mortgage. Now the mortgage is paid off(well cheaper to keep it at the moment) and I am only a couple of years from retirement, so have no advancement to go for or lumbered with difficult tasks, I am relatively stress free.


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## 747 (Oct 2, 2009)

[quote Camdoon said The wife and I have swapped roles as regard to stress.

As our children are now teenagers/early 20's she is stressed because she cannot "control" them or know where they are. She was never stressed until now.
[/quote]

If your kids have smartphones then you CAN track them that way.

Big brother is alive and well. 8)


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## barryd (May 9, 2008)

> *Penquin wrote: *IMO this thread once again reflects a benefit that could never have been anticipated for a MH forum.
> 
> It is good to see that things which individuals encounter are actually not unique and are more common than we realise and that a whole different range of suggestions have been made that one person would never have been able to devise by themselves.
> 
> ...


I think it goes one step further for me Dave. It shows just how beneficial a well established forum where many members know and trust each other can be!

The forum might be a creaking old gate but the people in it are superb and many of them I would call dear friends. Another reason to stick at it here I think.

Im not about to go and join some new forum and tell them Im crackers in my first post although they would probably soon catch on. :lol:


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## spannerhead (Sep 5, 2009)

Another good therapy is NLP - Neuro Linguistic Programming. I was a trained practitioner for a while a few years back and whilst it's similar to CBT I personally believe it can be more powerful and effective (it's what Paul McKenna uses).

It combines hypnotherapy with some mental training techniques. They do have a register of approved people or I can recommend someone depending on where you live.


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## patp (Apr 30, 2007)

I have been told I am a "director" in NLP terms. Always having meetings in my head :roll: 
It interests me as does CBT and hypnotherapy. I would think being able to self hypnotise yourself back to sleep must be very helpful!

I am in Norfolk.


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## duds (Sep 23, 2007)

You might consider getting your spirit linked with God's. No I am not preaching to you but it works. Then you get perfect Peace every time without the side effects. Ask and you receive. Simple as that. Let God worry about tomorrow you enjoy today. He cares.


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## aldra (Jul 2, 2009)

I would agree duds

Except I'm a bit argumentative

I don't get perfect peace but I have that feeling at the back of my mind

He will sort it, and He does

Aldra


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## aldra (Jul 2, 2009)

Barry

My love ( and I mean that)

Fingers crossed I'm hoping I am one of those dear friends

The truth is I find if you are truly honest the people respond in kind

You are most definitely not crackers although you sound a bit stressed for whatever 

It's amazing how many strangers you can trust

And yes there are the odd queer ones

So what, they have their own problems

Don't we all

Aldra


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## Rapide561 (Oct 1, 2005)

patp said:


> Russel my dog is on Mirtazapine! She has Addisons disease (something else to worry about!) and her appetite is awful. The vet told me it is given to high flying vet students to help with their anxiety. It was found to stimulate the appetite so they use it in poorly cats and now trying it on Willow. It is working very well on her and she is certainly a happier dog. I also give her vitamin B6 and take it myself as it is supposed to help with serotonin levels which are the feel good hormones.


I've said many times I'd prefer to see a vet than a GP!!!!!!

Russ


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## DrRoger (Aug 21, 2010)

Hi,

Many years ago someone said to us that anxiety is a healthy feeling & made us laugh by suggesting we sit next to a driver with no anxiety as they drove-went round corners too fast, did not concentrate on the road or slow down for dodgy situations.

However, too much can be awful as we know.

I'll have a bash at attaching 'Cycle of Panic' & 'Sleep'. It is said that it is impossible for us to feel anxiety if we breathe diaphragmatically (also known as yoga-breathing or belly-breathing). Put your hands on your stomach & take a long, slow, gentle in breath so you can feel your hands rise. In this way we can change anxiety into excitement.

Another good strategy is to start a personal notebook & write down stuff that's worrying you. Get it out of you & down on paper is a good way to be your own therapist & learn to become your own best friend.

Hope this helps.

Roger

Now for the tricky bit with those files (!)


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## cypsygal (Dec 19, 2009)

Hi Patp

You've received lots of good suggestions & ideas - do you have a smartphone that you can listen to when you are awake - relaxation, hypnosis tracks or the radio? Going online when you can't sleep, or for an hour before you try to sleep is not advised due to how the blue light from devices affects your brain activity.

As others have said, a level of anxiety is normal, and even necessary - we need to know when we are in a situation that might be dangerous. Moving house could be perceived in this way.

Research shows that over time anxious people can become more anxious. The part of your brain connected with this, the amygdala, seems to become more enlarged in sufferers of anxiety - it's all to do with relative surface area! So you may well seem to have worsened over the years.

Here's a link to services in Norfolk where you can self refer for anxiety.

http://www.heron.nhs.uk/heron/organisationdetails.aspx?id=22444

How to manage mental health is not taught routinely.
No one ever told me that what I think is not necessarily true!

The following information sheets on www.getselfhelp.co.uk are really good (the charity I work for provides psychological therapy in primary care, and we regularly use these)

http://www.getselfhelp.co.uk/docs/AnxietySelfHelp.pdf
http://www.getselfhelp.co.uk/docs/TheParrot.pdf
http://www.getselfhelp.co.uk/docs/UnhelpfulThinkingHabitsWithAlternatives.pdf

You can find more help at the following sites:

www.getselfhelp.co.uk
www.moodjuice.scot.nhs.uk/anxiety.asp‎
psychcentral.com/lib/top-10-lesser-known-self-help...anxiety/0003521
http://www.cci.health.wa.gov.au/

However you might benefit from doing this alongside a CBT therapist who will help you to get your thoughts outside of your head.

Good luck, hope this helps x


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## patp (Apr 30, 2007)

Such wonderful people on here. Thank you all so much. Shan't have time to be anxious doing all this research .
I have found deep breathing to be most helpful - it is true that it is hard to be anxious when breathing into the diaphragm. I can't always manage a really deep breath though as I am too tense sometimes.

I have tried yoga and meditation but find I worry while I'm doing it and try to do it "perfectly" all the time :roll: Same with mindfulness. Will try the things mentioned above and see how things go. Hope my problems have helped others too


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## DrRoger (Aug 21, 2010)

Hi Pat,

There is an idea that from birth we adapt to our parents, peers, school friends, teacher & Uncle Tom Cobbley and All! Out of awareness we develop a set of beliefs & live according to them thinking they are 'right'. They are called 'script-beliefs' 'cos we act according to them like an actor or actress in a play. This may be 'cobblers' BUT can be extremely useful to look at. Maybe check out the attachment below.

Me I'm a reformed 'perfectionist'-it's bad-news 'cos perfection is impossible in this life so you're never satisfied. The antidote is for what you do to be 'good-enough'. With meditation, to do it is good & just better than not doing it.

Maybe worth taking a look at 'Mindfulness For Beginners' by John Kabat-Zinn on Amazon. There is valid research evidence for the effectiveness of becoming more mind-full; it's dead useful when savouring Armagnac I can tell you!

All the best,

Roger

PS. The idea that we think before we feel 'ain't necessarily so', as in CBT theory that if we challenge our thinking then we change what we do & we're OK. Me-I feel then I think!


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## aldra (Jul 2, 2009)

We are never perfect

Thank goodness

Good enough is just fine

It's just about right to allow you to understand why no one ever reaches perfection

It's because we are human, we fail, make mistakes

But
How good is just being human   

It suits me just fine  

Aldra


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## Easyriders (May 16, 2011)

So sorry, Pat, that you are in a bad place just now.

Some of us are just worriers, I know I am! I'm also very thin skinned, and a bit of a perfectionist, and I know well the business of lying awake for hours, worrying.

I've now just accepted that this is the way I am made. Of our five kids, two of them are worriers like me, the other three are dare devils, so there may be some genetics here.

I tried relaxation techniques and so on, but relaxing just made me worry more! Instead, I found that if I couldn't sleep, it was best to just get up and do something that required concentration or activity. Reading didn't help, but doing a crossword did. One extended bout of insomnia, I just painted the kitchen walls until I was too tired to carry on. After a week, I had a nice cheerful kitchen and a good night's sleep.

I think physical activity helps. Go for a brisk 30 minute walk every day, even if you don't feel like it. If you've got a dog to walk, so much the better, as pets do help if you are feeling anxious. If you haven't got a pet, consider getting a cat or a dog. 

Get a good diet, as much fresh air and sunshine as you can, and learn to treat yourself. Meet some old friends, buy yourself some flowers, listen to your favourite music, whatever rocks your boat. Above all, learn to forgive yourself.

You are certainly not alone.


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## HermanHymer (Dec 5, 2008)

Sorry to hear of your worries Pat. I'm sure there's something that will work for you in all the advice given.

My vote goes to self-hypnosis.

About 30 years ago I used to pass a palm-reader's shop on my way to the parking garage. One day I went in for a consult. Apart from reading my palms which was very interesting, he noted that I was very stressed, as evidenced as a cross-hatched pattern on the fleshy part, south of the thumb. It was true my work situation was, on an inter-personal level, a nightmare. 

He hypnotised me to relax me and I felt like I was bouncing along on a cloud, and surprisingly it felt as though my eyeballs had been unclamped. During a second session he taught me how to self-hypnotise to relax, and I've used the technique ever since, luckily sleeplessness doesn't happen often to me. If I am lying awake at night, I sit on the side of the bed and go through the technique. In about 3 minutes, I have to lie down again and I'm gone!

I also meditate by recreating my travels in my head. My favourite is the journey up the Klein Matterhorn. I hear the noises the cable cars make as they pass over the pylons, look down on the trees and rocks and snow. Don't think I've ever reached the top...

Good luck.


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## aldra (Jul 2, 2009)

When I find myself worrying in the early hours

I get out and clean

Nothing noisy, I may wash the wooden floors, clean the kitchen cupboards 

Always with the knowledge that when I'm tired I'll go back to bed and sleep

And work through my worries whilst I'm busy

Thinking while busy puts things into perspective 

Stay off the internet, the tendency there is to look up things that are worrying you

If reading works, and it sometimes does that is a good alternative

Aldra


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## Kaytutt (Feb 5, 2013)

When I can't sleep (often) I get up and make biscuits, which might explain why I'm fat :lol:


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## Mumoffive (Nov 22, 2013)

Anxiety can rob us of so much. Sleep is just the bit we notice. I find it really frustrating to be woken on the nights I could be sleeping when so many nights I have to be alert. For me prayer and worship music help. As does writing down what is on my mind. Although sometimes I am unable to pin point what it is 

Cast all your cares on Him, because He cares for you. 

Take a look at my signature I have to remind myself if that quite often. 
Sending love xxx


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## HermanHymer (Dec 5, 2008)

aldra said:


> When I find myself worrying in the early hours
> 
> I get out and clean
> 
> ...


Yes Sandra is right - stay off the blue screens for at least the hour before bed. It stimulates wakefulness. Saw it on telly again this week.


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## DrRoger (Aug 21, 2010)

HermanHymer, I think you are right about 'self-hypnosis'.

'Anxiety' sounds like an incurable 'dis-ease', that you cannot sort.

As I said before it is a normal feeling evidenced by raised pulse/heart-rate, raised BP that comes from 'out there' or 'in here'-body response or memories.

When I worked for an OHS we taught a 'self-hypnosis' technique that was extremely effective=it worked!

Roger


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## JLO (Sep 27, 2006)

Hi Pat

You could try contacting your local PALS Officer (Patient Advice and Liaison Officer) Their details will be on the internet, if you don't get the correct Trust immediately they should point you in the right direction to who should be able to tell you how you could go about getting some help.

I am the PALS Officer for a Mental Health Trust and I deal with calls from people who need help but don't know how to get it.

Hope this helps.

Jacqui


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