# Creative puns for educated minds



## Stanner (Aug 17, 2006)

1. The roundest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.

2. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian.

3. She was only a whiskey maker, but he loved her still.

4. A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class, because it was a weapon of maths disruption.

5. The butcher backed into the meat slicer and got a little behind in his work.

6. No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.

7. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.

8. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.

9. Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.

10. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.

11. A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it.

12. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

13. Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat said to the other: 'You stay here; I'll go on a head.'

14. I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.

15. A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said: 'Keep off the Grass.'

16. A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital. When his grandmother telephoned to ask how he was, a nurse said 'No change yet.'

17. A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.

19. The short fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.

20. The man who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran

21. A backward poet writes inverse.

22. In a democracy it's your vote that counts. In feudalism it's your count that votes.

23. When cannibals ate a missionary, they got a taste of religion.

24. Don't join dangerous cults: Practice safe sects!


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## prof20 (Jan 11, 2007)

Apologies..........

She was only the pox-doctor's daughter, but she knew all the men who mattered.

Roger


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## pippin (Nov 15, 2007)

She was only the telegraphists daughter but she dit dit because her da da dit dit.


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## spykal (May 9, 2005)

She was only the gravedigger’s daughter, but anyone cadaver


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## cabby (May 14, 2005)

The Tinker on a bicycle turned out to be a Pedlar.  

cabby


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## wizzardi (Apr 2, 2011)

She was only the garage mans daughter but she loved the smell of benzole


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## TheBlade (Jun 30, 2011)

Motto of the French Navy:

To the water! Now is the time!
OR
a l'eau! C'est l'heure!

... you've got to read it out loud


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## Pudsey_Bear (Sep 25, 2008)

She was only the welders daughter but she had acetylene T**s


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## drcotts (Feb 23, 2006)

Fractions were invented by Henry 1/8th

Fireplaces were invented by Alfred the Grate


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## Pudsey_Bear (Sep 25, 2008)

drcotts said:


> Fractions were invented by Henry 1/8th


Surely that should be Henry 1/3 in 1207 :lol: :lol: :lol:

Pedants rule.


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## nicholsong (May 26, 2009)

Is a pedant's rule the same as a foot rule?


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## pippin (Nov 15, 2007)

Are pedants' rules the same as feet rules?


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