# Pip-Pip- Hello its me again.



## JanHank (Mar 29, 2015)

It´s Janet Kay calling, I´m here in two one three,
I know its one in the morning, but can I have a cup of tea.

Yes I had a sleeping tablet, it came at half past nine.
I`m afraid my bodies not too good, when it comes to telling time.

I counted sheep and blessings to, I´ve even sung a song
My body clocks just gone berserk, the hours its got all wrong.

I´ve read some pages from my book and then put off the light,
Ten minutes does , awake again, this goes on all the night.

At 1pm I watched the news, well that was my intent,
I saw a bit, no not a lot, `cause off to sleep I went.

I only slept an hour, then went out for a walk,
Two lots of visitors I´ve had and all I did was talk.

So why am I not tired and wanting to lie down,
If you can make me sleep right through I´ll give you half a crown.

It´s not because I`m worried I´m an insomniac,
This sleeplessness has been with me from quite a few years back.

Sorry nurse to pip-pip again, I know its only three.
Could there be a magic cure, like hypnotherapy?

Hospital 03/08/1991
Jan


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## tugboat (Sep 14, 2013)

Oh dear, Jan's been on the pop again. Must get hold of Hans and tell him to lock the booze cupboard.


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## JanHank (Mar 29, 2015)

tugboat said:


> Oh dear, Jan's been on the pop again. Must get hold of Hans and tell him to lock the booze cupboard.


Get back on the blue screen pardner , this is serious business. 
Booze mad you are. :grin2:
Pardner Jan


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## nicholsong (May 26, 2009)

tugboat said:


> Oh dear, Jan's been on the pop again. Must get hold of Hans and tell him to lock the booze cupboard.


Tugs

Look at the date when she wrote it.

But maybe you are right - that she had to be on it again to post it:laugh:

Geoff


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## JanHank (Mar 29, 2015)

Return to your rightful place Nicholson.
How dare you incinerate I´m in the same pod as you two.

This is a quick reply, 
I dare not use the other one, probably wouldn´t be responsible for my own actions.
Jan


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## nicholsong (May 26, 2009)

JanHank said:


> Return to your rightful place Nicholson.
> 
> Jan


If you are addressing me as 'Nicholson', maybe it should be Captain Nicholson - and Captain 'Tugboat'.

Nothing else will do.

Now I shall have to think of a title for you - maybe Hans can help>


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## Pudsey_Bear (Sep 25, 2008)

nicholsong said:


> If you are addressing me as 'Nicholson', maybe it should be Captain Nicholson - and Captain 'Tugboat'.
> 
> Nothing else will do.
> 
> Now I shall have to think of a title for you - maybe Hans can help>


Or simply as Jack


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## JanHank (Mar 29, 2015)

nicholsong said:


> If you are addressing me as 'Nicholson', maybe it should be Captain Nicholson - and *Captain 'Tugboat'. *
> 
> . *Skipper is best.*
> 
> Now I shall have to think of a title for you - maybe Hans can help>


*In my little canoe I`m skipper and crew,
Just messing about on the river. 
*


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## tugboat (Sep 14, 2013)

nicholsong said:


> Tugs
> 
> Look at the date when she wrote it.
> 
> ...


Sure I noticed the date on the bottom, but was puzzled as to why she suddenly posted it today.

I came to the conclusion that she had been on the early shift in the toot-mobile, and had been inhaling more than fumes.>


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## JanHank (Mar 29, 2015)

tugboat said:


> Sure I noticed the date on the bottom, but was puzzled as to why she suddenly posted it today.


Your obviously not a Night Owl tuggy. Take a peek and maybe that will explain it. :smile2: Page 51 2nd post down
Jan


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## JanHank (Mar 29, 2015)

nicholsong said:


> If you are addressing me as 'Nicholson', maybe it should be Captain Nicholson - and Captain 'Tugboat'.
> 
> Nothing else will do.
> Now I shall have to think of a title for you - maybe Hans can help>


Forgive the long delay Kapitän Nick, had to have a lay down after reading all the responses on here AND the other place. :grin2:
Hans can´t possibly help you with a title for me, he calls me things like `Amazing´ `Wonderful` `Clever´ etc. etc. 0
You can give me any title you like as long as it doesn´t include the words `Old Biddy` :smile2:
Jan


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## tugboat (Sep 14, 2013)

JanHank said:


> Your obviously not a Night Owl tuggy. Take a peek and maybe that will explain it. :smile2: Page 51 2nd post down
> Jan


Do you mean post number 502? (my page layout is obviously different to yours)

If you are referring to your sleep patterns, you clearly need to stop drinking in the mornings, and drink more in the evenings.

Sandra has it sussed, I'll ask her to give you some pointers. Better still, you should invite yourself to go and stay with her for a few days. Your alcohol consumption will go through the roof. At least, that what happens with Barry and me! It's a lorra larfs though.

Albert is my personal trainer, you know. He'd be happy to take you and Hans out on cycle rides, he's ever so good like that.


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## JanHank (Mar 29, 2015)

I´m happy to try Sandas or anyone elses suggestions to be able to sleep through the night tuggy, but after 31 years I don´t hold out much hope of it altering.:serious:
Jan


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## aldra (Jul 2, 2009)

tugboat said:


> Do you mean post number 502? (my page layout is obviously different to yours)
> 
> If you are referring to your sleep patterns, you clearly need to stop drinking in the mornings, and drink more in the evenings.
> 
> ...


Tuggy you my love are on dangerous ground

Even I can't drink Barry under the table

And I'm up bright as a button cooking breakfast first thing

Next time you visit you starve

Ellie will be fed
Sandra


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## tugboat (Sep 14, 2013)

Can't argue with that, babe. I love it when a woman makes me breakfast. Sadly, it doesn't happen often, erherr.


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## JanHank (Mar 29, 2015)

tugboat said:


> Can't argue with that, babe. I love it when a woman makes me breakfast. Sadly, it doesn't happen often, erherr.


But pardner, Sandra´s a _MARRIED_ women, there must be a_ single_ one somewhere just waiting to make breakfast for a lovely, funny , cuddly Suffolk bloke like you. 
Jan


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## tugboat (Sep 14, 2013)

Yerbut, Albert's a lovely bloke and doesn't mind sharing her.

Bird in the hand, and all that.

Anyway, no woman would be seen dead in my house after what Barry did to my spare bedroom. And my curtains. Did I mention that he drank all my booze?


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## Pudsey_Bear (Sep 25, 2008)

Tuggs is too much for any one woman, well that's what he reckons anyway, spread the lurve > >


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## JanHank (Mar 29, 2015)

tugboat said:


> Anyway, no woman would be seen dead in my house after what Barry did to my spare bedroom. And my curtains. Did I mention that he drank all my booze?


I do believe you have mentioned the alcoholic state of Barry once, or could be twice before. Next time we cross the channel we'll bring you some Polish Vodka, that should stop his little game.:wink2:


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## tugboat (Sep 14, 2013)

Kev_n_Liz said:


> Tuggs is too much for any one woman, well that's what he reckons anyway, spread the lurve > >


Cheque's in the post, Kev.:wink2::grin2:


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## cabby (May 14, 2005)

Just a thought Jan, have you tried sleeping on the other side of the bed, or turning the bed around so it faces East -West, rather than North - South.

cabby


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## JanHank (Mar 29, 2015)

cabby said:


> Just a thought Jan, have you tried sleeping on the other side of the bed, or turning the bed around so it faces East -West, rather than North - South.
> 
> cabby


Thanks for the thought cabby, we were East-West in England, where it all started, we are now North-South and when in the caravan or Motorhome who knows which way we could be facing. Makes no odds which way.
Ackshully :laugh: our bed is turned every month, the mattress has to be turned, but its so blinkin heavy Hans had to make a special bed on casters, s´good, I can turn a very heavy bed all on my own. :transformer: _Nearest I could find to something tough.
_Jan
Ah, the other SIDE of the bed, I´ll try that tonight.


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## Pudsey_Bear (Sep 25, 2008)

tugboat said:


> Cheque's in the post, Kev.:wink2::grin2:


Hope it's a big un.


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## tugboat (Sep 14, 2013)

Don't be rude, this is a family forum.


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## Pudsey_Bear (Sep 25, 2008)

tugboat said:


> Don't be rude, this is a family forum.


Tis all in your mind Geoff.


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## JanHank (Mar 29, 2015)

*I am reprimanding Kev and Tugboat.*

What the devil has all this rubbish got to do with my Poet Laureate Rhyme 
*or*
helping people who have trouble sleeping.
No, no answering back. 
Some people appreciate my brilliant poem.
Start your own thread then we can all have a go.

:serious: Jan


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## Pudsey_Bear (Sep 25, 2008)

JanHank said:


> What the devil has all this rubbish got to do with my Poet Laureate Rhyme
> *or*
> helping people who have trouble sleeping.
> No, no answering back.
> ...


Rose are red,

Violets are blue

When first I get up

I go for a ...


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## JanHank (Mar 29, 2015)

Kev_n_Liz said:


> Rose are red,
> 
> Violets are blue
> 
> ...


Stupid, childish, no a child would have done better.


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## Pudsey_Bear (Sep 25, 2008)

JanHank said:


> Stupid, childish, no a child would have done better.


I didn't critique yours :crying::crying:

mupset now, took me ages to come up with that rubbish.


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## Pudsey_Bear (Sep 25, 2008)

Take that


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## JanHank (Mar 29, 2015)

cabby said:


> Just a thought Jan, have you tried sleeping on the other side of the bed, or turning the bed around so it faces East -West, rather than North - South.
> cabby


Tried changing places last night cabby, it was a failure.
At 3.30 am we swapped back again, neither of us could sleep, cat naps yes, but not proper sleep. Had to try it though,* it might have worked*.
Jan


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## Pudsey_Bear (Sep 25, 2008)

JanHank said:


> Tried changing places last night cabby, it was a failure.
> At 3.30 am we swapped back again, neither of us could sleep, cat naps yes, but not proper sleep. Had to try it though,* it might have worked*.
> Jan


You should have paused half way,:wink2::wink2: a few push ups and you'd have slept all night > >


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