# All Alone



## WingPete (Jan 29, 2006)

The passing of my life partner of 25 yrs, Lesley Kennedy, only 65rs old, on Oct 1st, has left me in a vacuum and all alone.
We purchased first m/home 5 yrs ago, and made good use of it around various parts of Europe, usually towing a big trailer with m/bike inside.
This year saw us buy a brand new Rapido with island bed. Better all round for the two of us.
Now this has happened.
Life will go on, but enjoyment now limited and ambitions restricted.
Must consider if I have the fortitude to want to use Rapido, or perhaps sell


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## artona (Jan 19, 2006)

Hi Pete

Sorry to hear that Lesley has left the world behind. You have, I am sure some fantastic memories of her but yes you are right your life will go on, just as she would have wanted it to.

Your mind is going around in circles a the moment and it is not a good time to make any major changes so do not try to. Just sit and remember the great times you have had and the great times you will have with Lesley watching over you. You are not alone

stew


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## relay (May 9, 2005)

I understand the emptiness & sense of fracture from the world that a sudden loss can bring. You have my deepest sympathy, Pete on the loss of Lesley.
As Stew says, it's too early for big decisions but know that you're never alone & in time you'll come to the decision that's right for you. 
One thing is for sure, none of us want our partner to stop enjoying life when we're no longer around.
Thinking of you,

-H


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## mandyandandy (Oct 1, 2006)

Just to add our greatest sympathy to you , none of us can imagine what it is like to loose your best friend unless it has happened to you. 

We all say carry on as Lesley would have wanted to but must admit that can't be easy, waiting before big decision making is a good idea, you know in your heart you will carry on its just waiting to see how, and that will come in time. 

Take care
Mandy


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## JockandRita (Jun 1, 2005)

Hi Pete,

PM sent, from a fellow former Fireman.

Regards,

Jock.


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## mangothemadmonk (Aug 6, 2006)

Hi Pete, please accept my sincere condolences,

and......

"I pray that our Heavenly Father may assuage the anguish of your bereavement, and leave you only the cherished memory of the loved and lost…” - Abraham Lincoln

Johnny F


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## xgx (Oct 14, 2005)

Hi Pete
My condolences.

My wife died in August after 42 years together... although it doesn't help that much but I'd suggest googling 'bereavement' ...at least you'll have some idea of what's happening in your head. Leave major decisions for at least 6 months.

Pushed meself to use the motorhome... one night only; had to resist the temptation to pack up and go home... so many memories. We used to go to France several times a year so I booked the tunnel and went over... the second one night only... just as bad as the first time :roll: I did feel some sense of achievement though...

Some basics: although there'll be times when you just don't want to do anything, push yourself gently forward. Get back into your usual routine for meals. Forget tissues, a small hand towel works for me. Find something to do that gets you out of the house and into others' company, it's all too easy to become isolated.

You'll find that everyone wants to help but it's a wilderness that you have to navigate yourself out of... it's a great comfort that people do want to help even if there's little they can do.

I'd love to say it gets better but it hasn't so far... there's always the hope that it will ease a little as the days go by. Be good to yourself.

Graham
(formerly sng)
www.oldsoke


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## geraldandannie (Jun 4, 2006)

Hi, Pete (and Graham)

Please accept our sincere condolences. Though words can't stop the hurt, we're thinking of you.

Gerald and Annie.


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## LadyJ (May 9, 2005)

So sorry to hear your sad news Pete, our thoughts are with you God Bless



Jacquie & John


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## carolgavin (May 9, 2005)

So sorry for the sad loss of Lesley. I can understand you feeling a huge void in your life. I too would advise to leave major decisions aone for a while as it must be hugely difficult even living from day to day at the moment never mind making big choices.

Please accept my sincere condolences for your losses Pete and Graham. Am thinking of you both.


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## Kelcat (Apr 20, 2008)

So sorry for your loss, please accept our condolences.
Kelvyn & Cat


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## litcher (Jul 24, 2006)

Hi Pete (and Graham),

I'm so sorry to hear of your loss and can understand how you are feeling. 

My husband died 10 years ago when our children were little. I remember the feelings of confusion, emptiness and anger and at the time the future looked bleak. All I can say is that things do improve over time. You never forget, but you do come to terms with it and life does get better.

As others have said, please don't make any major decisions yet. Although things that were familiar to both of you, such as your house and motorhome, at the moment seem to be painful reminders of your life together, you will eventually find comfort in them.

My thoughts are with you.

Viv


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## annetony (May 1, 2005)

I am so sorry for your loss, please accept our sincere condolences

I always found this poem a comfort to me when I lost my Mum & Dad, I hope it helps you in some small way,

take care


The Rose Beyond the Wall

Near a shady wall a rose once grew, 
Budded and blossomed in God's free light, 
Watered and fed by the morning dew, 
Shedding it's sweetness day and night.

As it grew and blossomed fair and tall, 
Slowly rising to loftier height, 
It came to a crevice in the wall 
Through which there shone a beam of light.

Onward it crept with added strength 
With never a thought of fear or pride, 
It followed the light through the crevice's length 
And unfolded itself on the other side.

The light, the dew, the broadening view 
Were found the same as they were before, 
And it lost itself in beauties new, 
Breathing it's fragrance more and more.



Shall claim of death cause us to grieve 
And make our courage faint and fall?
Nay! Let us faith and hope receive-- 
The rose still grows beyond the wall, 

Scattering fragrance far and wide 
Just as it did in days of yore, 
Just as it did on the other side, 
Just as it will forevermore.

~ A. L. Frink 



Anne


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## Motorhomersimpson (May 9, 2005)

Hi Pete and Graham,

So sorry to read about your sad losses, words probably mean nothing at the moment to you both, but your words have brought home to me just how important it is to cherish every moment with our loved ones, something I’m sure you both did at all times, remember those times, time eases the sorrow, but the memories live forever.

Rob


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## jams101 (Dec 22, 2006)

Pete sorry to hear about your loss. It is a hard thing to get over that gap it creates. I hope it can manage it better in time.


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## Invicta (Feb 9, 2006)

Dear Pete,

My husband died 3 years ago on our 46th wedding anniversary. I am very fortunate as I have family around me, my middle daughter, her husband and 6 (tomorrow) year old daughter living in part of the same house as me.

It is very early days to make any life changing plans but they may come at a later date. One can never get over the loss of a loved one but I have found that time has gone by so quickly that I cannot believe I have been a widow now for over 3 years.

I am still able to enjoy the freedom of the road that having a motorhome gives as my son in law is now the driver so I am very fortunate in that sense. Next week we are heading to York for the half term as both my son in law and my brother, whom we are meeting there with his caravan, are both railway enthusiasts. 

I chose my current R/V while my husband was alive in fact he was in hospital the day I went to order it. He only saw the pictures of it as he had died by the time it was delivered but despite knowing how ill he was he encouraged me to go out and get it. We carry his picture in the R/V wherever we go, 3 trips to France now as well as places here in the UK. We feel that he is there travelling with us, if not in body, very much in spirit.

The most difficult thing I have found is going unaccompanied to places such as friends' wedding anniversary parties but I make myself do so.

I have never attended a MHF rally but perhaps there could be a corner for those now travelling alone to be placed together or does this already happen?

Invicta x


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## 107558 (Oct 10, 2007)

Pete,

I'm so sorry to hear of your loss.

As someone who has lived alone now for more years now than I care to remember, once the grieving ends life does go on. I know that it's much too early for you to think that this will occur but, I can assure it does. As soon as you can, even if you don't feel up to it, get out and about again.

In my case the acquisition of a dog helped tremendously. He made sure I had to go out at least twice a day.


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## vicdicdoc (May 14, 2005)

Invicta said:


> . . . I have never attended a MHF rally but perhaps there could be a corner for those now travelling alone to be placed together or does this already happen? Invicta x


You do not need to hide in a corner . . .


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## patnles (Oct 26, 2006)

Pete, so sorry to hear of your loss.
Will be thinking of you at this very sad time.
Graham, Thinking of you also.

You will both be in our prayers.


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## wakk44 (Jun 15, 2006)

Pete (and Graham),

So sorry to hear of your loss, you are both in our thoughts.

Steve and Sharon


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## littlenell (Aug 1, 2008)

Pete,

So sorry to read of your loss, I am sure little makes sense at the moment. Everyone feels grief in their own way, and that path can have its ups and downs. Just take it slowly.

,


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## eddievanbitz (May 1, 2005)

I cannot begin to understand how you feel, The thought of not being with my wife Lyn fills me with dread.

The trouble is that words don't come close to explanation, and you are feeling so bad because your life together was so great, so you must cherish the past and dwell on happy thoughts and get on with the mechanics of living.

I suspect that now is a bad time to make any major changes!

You have my sympathy

Eddie


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## CaGreg (Mar 28, 2007)

To Pete and Graham,
My sincere sympathies on your sad losses. 

Ca


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## Bikerbabewing (Feb 22, 2007)

Pete
I knew Lesley & yourself from the goldwing club. You both attended our Norfolk wingding at Banham. I was devastated when I heard the news from John Bristow. Lesley was a lovely lady and we will all miss her.
Please dont make any rash decisions yet. We would still love to see you at our wingding next year.
Hope everything goes well for tomorrow.
Mine and my partner Neils thoughts will be with you.
I am sending you this poem, it helped me when I lost my father and sister, it still helps.

Miss Me, But Let Me Go

When I come to the end of the road,
and the sun has set for me,
I want no tears in a gloom filled room.
Why cry for a soul set free?

Miss me a little, but not too much,
And not with your head bowed low.
Remember the love that once we shared,
Miss me, but let me go.

This is a journey we all must take​And each must take alone:
It's all a part of Gods perfect plan,
A step on the road to home.

When you are lonely and sick of heart
Go to the friends that we know.
Bury your sorrows in doing good,
Miss me, but let me go.​
Thinking of you

Wendy


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## KeiththeBigUn (Oct 3, 2007)

Pete (and Grahame) 

Please accept our deepest sympathy and sincere condolences.

I would urge you not to make any hasty decisions but to consider what has to be done and let everything else take a back seat for a while. You will never forget although time has a habit of making things become a little more bearable, take some of that time.

Thinking of you,

Keith and Ros


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## Gonewiththewind (Nov 17, 2007)

Hi Pete,
Deepest Sympathies. I lost my Partner 6 years ago and no it hasn't got any easier, not a day goes bye without shedding a tear, but get out there and travel, yes its hard but I do get out and about. July and August through France and Spain. One gets use to ones own company, I even talk to the sat nav, how sad is that?
Best wishes with the future and with the travel.

Don


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## josieb (Jan 20, 2008)

Hello Pete
I would also like to add my deepest sympathies. My mum lost my dad back in April after 60 years and could not see a day forward, but she has managed to do one day at a time, and although the sun is not yet shining it is managing to peep through the black clouds. Im sure the pain will lessen for you as you look back on all the wonderful times you had.

May it help to know that we all are here for you. You only need to post a few words and there will always be a comforting word back.

sending love and comfort
Josie


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## Broom (Oct 8, 2007)

Pete/Graham

Thinking of you.

Best Regards
Adrian
(Broom)


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## loddy (Feb 12, 2007)

Pete

I lost my wife 2 years ago next month, a lot of wise people on here have posted good advise, take it, time doesn't heal but it makes it easier.

Look after yourself and take care

Regards Loddy


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## 92859 (May 1, 2005)

*sad loss*

So sorry to hear of your sad loss Pete and also yours Graham.

Our thoughts are with you at this time.


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## WingPete (Jan 29, 2006)

*Good advice and kind words*

Thank you all soo much for the kind words and sound advice. 
I thought "I am not the only one to have this unfortunate experience, but others will have come through and it would be good to know how" .
You have given the advice that makes good sense to appreciate, I am not alone, and need that element of time to reassess my situation.
That process wil take time, which I have plenty of !

My heartfelt thanks to everyone for even reading and replying.


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## WingPete (Jan 29, 2006)

*Life changes*

Here I am back again, after a reasonable period of personal mourning.
I reiterate, thanks to all who corresponded, and there are many.
Now having got the probate situation into gear, (not easy) I can concentrate on more mundane tasks, like eating and sleeping.
Refound skills in the kitchen, as practised when mess manager at fire station some 40 yrs ago. Making real meals, much to the surprise of many contempories.
Know how to use washer and dish washer, so clean clothes available.
Now planning to get the 'van out from storage for a few days visitng friends "up north" in Derbys & N Yorks. Will miss the sign reader, but have to trust the sat/nav to guide me, and camera to watch me.
So, I have returned to the world I was accustomed to sharing, alone.


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## relay (May 9, 2005)

*Re: Life changes*



WingPete said:


> Refound skills in the kitchen, as practised when mess manager at fire station some 40 yrs ago. Making real meals, much to the surprise of many contempories.
> Know how to use washer and dish washer, so clean clothes available.


Well done, Pete. I'm sure Lesley will be looking down with admiration for the way you're coping with everyday life in spite of the heart-ache. Grief is inescapable, but we all hope our loved ones will meet the challenges head on and win through. You're doing that. Good on you!



> Now planning to get the 'van out from storage for a few days visitng friends "up north" in Derbys & N Yorks. Will miss the sign reader, but have to trust the sat/nav to guide me, and camera to watch me.
> So, I have returned to the world I was accustomed to sharing, alone.


I'm very sure that Lesley will be guiding and watching too.

I really admire your spirit. 
-H


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## Mikemoss (Sep 5, 2005)

You'll be carrying a lot of people's best wishes with you, WingPete, mine included.

Good luck!


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## Broom (Oct 8, 2007)

Hi Pete

Glad your on the road again. it will not be the same and it will be hard, but for a while live on all the good memories, a least until new ones come into your life.

Best Regards
Adrian
(Broom)


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## dillon (Oct 3, 2008)

Hi Pete

Please accept my deepest sympathy on your loss
remember the funny things that you did together and have a little chuckle

god bless
Stuart and Carol


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## Briarose (Oct 9, 2007)

Hi my thoughts are with you and I have tears streaming down my face, life is so short it makes you want to make the most of every moment........sadly we don't always so that.


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## Wupert (Aug 6, 2007)

*Re: Life changes*



WingPete said:


> Here I am back again, after a reasonable period of personal mourning.
> I reiterate, thanks to all who corresponded, and there are many.
> Now having got the probate situation into gear, (not easy) I can concentrate on more mundane tasks, like eating and sleeping.
> Refound skills in the kitchen, as practised when mess manager at fire station some 40 yrs ago. Making real meals, much to the surprise of many contempories.
> ...


Well done Pete.......remember the good times


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## WingPete (Jan 29, 2006)

*Cold alone*

Just an apdate following my recent travels. 
I got the 'van out of hibernation, and travelled up to Sudbury, Derby, for a one night stop with old navy buddy, from 52 yrs ago. Helped him finish the bottle of Navy Neaters he had, then proceeded to the Hennesy I took along. Not much left at end of evening. The GPS worked, but not as well as it could. Took me there OK, but via some long, twisty and very muddy back lane. Buddy showed me the shorter and cleaner route nexy day !
Next night was in antiquey pub in Wirksworth, Derby, "The Lime Kiln", good ale, log fires, and decent scoff. Helped a biker friend celebrate his 50th birthday. His wife made it a surprise party, so many biker friends turned up who were local, but the surprise was ME. He was gobsmacked to find me there, as he had been at Lesley's cremation and thought I may retreat into a shell shocked condition for a while.
Not me. I need my friends.
That's when my heater decided to packup in the cold night. Tried all manner of solutions, but none permanent. Had to leave gas ring on to take chill out of 'van. It does get more cold when alone in a double bed.
Next day found me heading for Bedale in N Yorks, where 2 French couples we stayed with earlier this year were staying. Paying a visit to a Yorkshire man they knew, who spends half the year in the village they live in, near to PAU.
Parked on drive, and had great evening, in a very odd conversation. Mix of Franglais with varying accents.
Once more the heater failed to work continuously, so retreated to the spare bedroom. Nice and warm.
On the homeward journey next day (Monday 1st ) found myself driving through sleet and snow, but not wet enough to remove the accumulated mud. Called into Brownhills at Newark, to check out my heater.
Seems I had not turned on the correct electrical supply to the batteries that feed it ! 
Also lucky to find a sign saying "Car Handwash" on the A1, six miles ahead. Went in to find very obliging couple of young guys, who's English was not local !! who did a thorough job on removing the mud, even drying the van with chamois' . Wanted £15, but worth the £20 I gave them.
Happy now, driving home in clean 'van.
Home in afternoon, went through a slow process of unloading. It is slow when only one involved. The away to the store facility, making sure I drained everything down. Good thing to, with the cold spell we now have.
So, my life has changed, but my friends have not. 2009 fast approaching.
Wonder where I will be heading next ?


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## geraldandannie (Jun 4, 2006)

Thanks for that update, Pete, and well done on making the journey. I'm sure it was difficult summoning up the enthusiasm, but it seems it was worth the effort.

Gerald


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