# And God made........the north of England



## Pudsey_Bear (Sep 25, 2008)

Once upon a time in the Kingdom of Heaven God went missing for six days.

Eventually, Archangel Michael found him on the seventh day resting.

He enquired of God, 'Where have you been?'

God pointed downwards through the clouds. Archangel Michael looked puzzled and said, 'What is it?'

'It's a planet,' replied God, 'and I've put LIFE on it. I'm going to call it Earth and it's going to be a great place of balance.'

'Balance?' inquired Michael, still confused.

God explained, pointing down to different parts of the Earth.

'For example, North America will be a place of great opportunity and wealth, while South America is going to be poor; the Middle East over there will be a hot spot, and Russia will be a cold spot. Over there I've placed a continent of white people and over there is a continent of black people.'

God continued, pointing to the different countries.

This one will be extremely hot and arid while this one will be very cold and covered in ice.'

The Archangel , impressed by God's work, then pointed to another area of land and asked, 'What's that?'

'Ah,' said God. That's the North of England, the most glorious place on earth. There are beautiful people, seven Premiership football teams in the North West alone, and many impressive cities; it is the home of the world's finest artists, musicians, writers, thinkers, explorers and politicians. The people from the North of England are going to be modest, intelligent and humorous and they're going to be found travelling the world. They'll be extremely sociable, hard-working and high-achieving, and they will be known throughout the world as speakers of truth.'

Michael gasped in wonder and admiration but then proclaimed, 'What about balance God, you said there will be BALANCE!'

God replied very wisely, 'Wait till you see the bunch of tossers I'm putting in the South...

It's only a joke, I'm aware there are some good things in the south too, there's the A1 and the M1 and the M6 to name but 3


----------



## DTPCHEMICALS (Jul 24, 2006)

Not your neck of the woods then Kev :lol: :lol: :lol: 


The best thing to come out of the south is.... The A1 and the M1

dave p


----------



## barryd (May 9, 2008)

I disagree completely. Teesdale and the north Yorkshire Dales where I live is horrible. Our favourite food when we can afford it is Lard and a posh person is someone who has an inside toilet. There is nothing here but industrial filth and people with no teeth. If you live in the south please dont waste your time coming to North Yorkshire. You will hate it and probably catch a horrible dickension disease. Much better down south.


----------



## DTPCHEMICALS (Jul 24, 2006)

You are noly trying to keep them out of the beautifull countryside, glorious beaches etc.
And keep some of the finest beers to yourself

Dave p


----------



## Jede (Dec 7, 2007)

And the North is where ? I once went past Watford by accident  .

The South West on the other hand is a place where every one should visit  

John


----------



## Grizzly (May 9, 2005)

Jede said:


> The South West on the other hand is a place where every one should visit
> 
> John


Too late John, they already do. that's why you can't move down here.

G


----------



## joedenise (Jul 20, 2007)

Just shows that God must be a woman! She doesn't know her North from her South :lol: :lol: :lol: 

Joe


----------

