# united nations



## 88847 (May 9, 2005)

For all Nations

Did you hear about the dyslexic Rabbi?
He walks around saying, "Yo!" 

A Muslim optimist looks on the Sunni side of life. 
A Muslim pessimist says, "Aw, Shi'ite!"

THREE PROOFS THAT JESUS WAS BLACK
1. He called everybody brother
2. He had no permanent address
3. Nobody would hire him

THREE PROOFS THAT JESUS WAS JEWISH
1. He went into his father's business
2. He lived at home until the age of 33
3. He was sure his mother was a virgin, and his mother was sure he was God

THREE PROOFS THAT JESUS WAS IRISH
1. He never got married
2. He never held a steady job
3. His last request was a drink

THREE PROOFS THAT JESUS WAS ITALIAN
1. He talked with his hands
2. He had wine with every meal
3. He worked in the building trades

THREE PROOFS THAT JESUS WAS CALIFORNIAN
1. He never cut his hair
2. He walked around barefoot
3. He invented a new religion

THREE PROOFS THAT JESUS WAS PUERTO RICAN
1. His first name was Jesus
2. He was always in trouble with the law
3. His mother did not know who his father was

THREE PROOFS THAT JESUS WAS A CULTIST
1. He formed his own secret group of 12 followers
2. He claimed he had special connection to God
3. On the third day after his death he went up to the spaceship

THREE PROOFS THAT JESUS WAS IN ADVERTISING
1. He found himself regularly praying for mercy
2. He liked to make big speeches at supper
3. He was adamant that even the most whopping sins can be forgiven

THREE PROOFS THAT JESUS WAS A RASTAFARIAN
1. He was from Babylon
2. He wore dread locks
3. His picture is on the zig-zag package


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## 88847 (May 9, 2005)

Confession

Girl: "Forgive me father for I have sinned."
Priest: "What have you done my child?"
Girl: "I called a man a son of a bitch."
Priest: "Why did you call him a son of a bitch?"
Girl: "Because he touched my hand."
Priest: "Like this?" (as he touches her hand)
Girl: "Yes father."
Priest: "That's no reason to call a man a son of a bitch."
Girl: "Then he touched my breast."
Priest: "Like this?" (as he touched her breast)
Girl: "Yes father."
Priest: "That's no reason to call him a son of a bitch."
Girl: "Then he took off my clothes, father."
Priest: "Like this?" (as he takes off her clothes)
Girl: "Yes father."
Priest: "That's no reason to call him a son of a bitch."
Girl: "Then he stuck his you know what into my you know where."
Priest: "Like this?" (as he stuck his you know what into her you know where)
Girl: "YES FATHER, YES FATHER, YES FATHER!!!"
Priest: (after a few minutes): "That's no reason to call him a son of a bitch."
Girl: "But father, he had AIDS!"
Priest: "THAT SON OF A BITCH!!!"


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## 88927 (May 10, 2005)

Hey Paul
Way to go matey, upset everyone at the same time, at least they cannot claim they are being treated unfairly.................................
:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: 
Keith


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## johnsandywhite (May 9, 2005)

:lol: I love them both. :lol:


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