# So help needed



## aldra (Jul 2, 2009)

We have X amount of money

Divides 50/50 

Between kids and grandkids 

But some grandkids are getting older

But others are catching up fast

And we are getting older 

So we do we give to grandkids 

Who have reached 25 their share 

Remove them from the will

And take a chance that we may need the money for care 

And others may not get it 

What do you think 

Sandra


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## Drew (May 30, 2005)

Sandra, Keep what you have in case both you have to go into care.

My old friend has just had to put his wife into a home costing nearly £5000 a month, I must admit she has Alzheimer's? 

In an half decent care home, costs are from £1900 + per couple per week. I ask, would your family pay to keep you in a home if you had no capital?


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## aldra (Jul 2, 2009)

Well they might 
But drew 

What about the youngsters

Who need that bit to get going in life 

And to fair 

If it cost that much to keep me alive 

**** IT 

THE FIRST TIME I EVER USED THAT WORD

SANDRA


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## Drew (May 30, 2005)

I believe you have answered your own question. Your mind is already made up. 

Give it away.


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## aldra (Jul 2, 2009)

But I cant Drew 

Because it will be clawed back

I can give 250 pounds in as many multiples as I choose 

Will I come into inheritance tax ? 

Depends on the second death 

It’s looking good 

But I’m still struggling 

Will my family think it’s Ok

To think it’s ok to give to to

THE


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## aldra (Jul 2, 2009)

Ps

The older grandkids

Sandra


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## Drew (May 30, 2005)

There is no inheritance tax between husband and wife or vice versa, I believe thereafter it is 40% of the estate. Unfortunately I cannot give an honest answer as I am clueless as far as money is concerned.

You are allowed to make gifts but I can't give you any information as to how much.

Your best bet would be to make an appointment with your bank and seek advice from their accounts manager.


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## Revise (May 13, 2012)

Spend it on yourself as you earnt it, Then eventually when you meet your maker. Let them sort it out. 

I know it is hard not to help your kids, but we never got help and we managed as we had too. 

Kids have it too easy today.


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## dghr272 (Jun 14, 2012)

Revise said:


> Spend it on yourself as you earnt it, Then eventually when you meet your maker. Let them sort it out.
> 
> I know it is hard not to help your kids, but we never got help and we managed as we had too.
> 
> Kids have it too easy today.


Agree wholeheartedly, if kids don't learn to stand on their own two feet how will they survive when you're gone, money inherited won't last forever then who can they rely on as a soft touch.

Yes we have helped ours out, but on the basis of interest free loans that they repay, they learn the value of money and the responsibility of what they owe needs paid back, no such thing as a free lunch.

Terry


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## ChrisandJohn (Feb 3, 2008)

I would think it's probably not a good idea to gift 'their share' to the older grandchildren for the reasons that you state. On the other hand there is no reason not to be generous with them individually as and when there is a point in each of their lives that they could do with a bit of money that they might not have. e.g. Paying a deposit for a flat, driving lessons, new computer, a special holiday, etc.


Chris


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## raynipper (Aug 4, 2008)

Agreed with Revise and Terry that 'kids' have far more now than we ever imagined in our youth and don't seem any happier or content.

We have opted for the KISS option and on the demise of one the other gets the lot and on the demise of both the 'children' get whats left. Seemples.

Ray.


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## patp (Apr 30, 2007)

Same as Ray here. 

What if one of you needed care and the other has to stand by, with no money, watching their needs go unmet? Your children would rather they did not have to run round caring for you I am sure.

I was only reading about inheritance tax yesterday. No tax on money left to spouse. You can gift £3000 each per person. £250 per person to others not in receipt of the £3000.


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## aldra (Jul 2, 2009)

Care assessments are on an individual , cannot take the spouses money into consideration

Cannot take the house value either whilst the spouse is alive 

Our money is jointly owned 

So therefore 50/50 

So 50 %

Can be used for care charges 

The rest is his 

£ 3000 a year gift , but we have 6 

And then 10

We won’t live that long

So multiple £250 is good 

And my advice is 

Don't have 6 kids and 10 grandkids 

And yes our kids and older grand kids can borrow interest free 

And Albert deals with it .......mostly 

Until I do 

And I have one grand kid shell shocked on his latest deal 

It’s getting like dragons den 

I want the car insurance for the next year paid to me monthly , along side the loan to clear his credit card 

No way is he borrowing it on a credit card again 

Because we’ve been there 

In times gone by 

Sandra


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## wug (May 19, 2011)

This is too important a matter to just put on a forum. You need some expert advice if you're serious about this. Make a list of your assets (money under the mattress & savings in banks etc, shares if any, premium bonds, house(s), car(s), pensions & income from savings, Life insurance (if any) etc) and liabilities (if any) and go and see a solicitor or financial advisor and discuss your options and possible care needs.

For example, you can make PET's (potentially exempt transfers) and hope to live another 7 years when it drops out of your estate. You can also make regular gifts out of income, provided it doesn't affect your standard of living. You also need to keep records. It's complex and you require proper advice.


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## aldra (Jul 2, 2009)

Yes I know

I only really wanted to know what others do and think in regard to their kids/grandkids 

Not legalities 

Pretty sure on those 

Should I risk giving my older ones

Knowing my younger ones are fast catching up 

My oldest grandchild needs to borrow a a lot of money to take her next stage lawyer exams 

So is it a loan or a gift ?

Or is it part of her inheritance ?

And can ensure others get the same?

Sandra


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## wug (May 19, 2011)

I think your question indicates that you do need professional advice. But that's up to you.


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## swanny65 (Sep 12, 2014)

Dont get it wrong, go see a solicitor / IFA. 

Most people don't like paying for advice but better a few quid spent now getting it right than a whole load lost later if you get it wrong.


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## raynipper (Aug 4, 2008)

swanny65 said:


> Dont get it wrong, go see a solicitor / IFA.
> Most people don't like paying for advice but better a few quid spent now getting it right than a whole load lost later if you get it wrong.


From personal experience you have mentioned the two 'professions' that have caused the most damage to our lives.
They are supposed to be trusted professionals like RC priests.

Ray.


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## patp (Apr 30, 2007)

In light of Ray's experience it is probably best to talk to HMRC. Their website is fairly helpful. 

Just recently we decided, after reading HMRC's rules on Capital Gains Tax (we sold some land), to consult an accountant to see if they could help us avoid said tax. They, in my opinion, just gave us wishy washy advice along the line of "it would depend what HMRC decided when they looked at your individual case". Well I could have come up with that advice! We have put our possible tax liability into Premium Bonds and are keeping our fingers crossed that when HMRC send us a bill we can delay payment as long as possible in the hope of a big win 

Now there's a thought, Sandra. Can you buy your children/grandchildren some Premium Bonds?

On the subject of numbers of children/grandchildren we only have the one to worry about so it makes life so much easier. I, personally, would not gift a lot of money to grandchildren until they are of a certain age. Perhaps it is best to just gift it to your children and let them decide how to share it with their children?


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## raynipper (Aug 4, 2008)

Pat, you have just reminded me about our earlier situation regarding CGT.
We had four houses in Surrey and one in Co. Durham and a large CGT was likely. I researched for over two years how to avoid or at least minimise my liability. All financial 'experts' said it can't be done and pay up but we will handle it for you for a fee.
In the end I found it was possible at that time to move out of the UK and take our gains and not pay CGT on the assets. This we did in 1994 buying a 'Holiday Home' here in Normandy and disposing of the property in UK taking the proceeds out of the UK. This was legal and accepted by HMRC.


Sadly it just allowed us to put more cash into the hands of a recommended IFA who fleeced not only us but 30+ close friends of his out of everything.
I'm not sure if this avenue is still open today.


Ray.


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## aldra (Jul 2, 2009)

pat 

I would give it to my children 

Except 

Two of my grandkids I’ve had more than normal relationship with 

Raised them as babies 

Stayed awake worrying about cot deaths 

They weren’t mine , 

And the third ?

Anyway I’m cynical 

Meg’s is 24

Alex is 21

Albert , well he’s 17 , an enigma, who I love to bits 

So different to all , I do and don’t understand him 

So anyway 

If we left everything to the kids and die soon 

Maybe those who have already left the family home will benefit 

Or maybe not 

Does it sound like I don’t trust my kids ? 

You bet I don’t 

I trust no one when it comes to money

GKids from 24 to 

And possibally new born 

But really I want the older ones to benefit at a time in their life which is important 

Albert and I struggled to raise 6 kids 

Did it make us better people ?

If someone could have helped would we have turned out worse?

Don’t answer that 

I’m not interested in legal 

Just in the heart of how you feel 

Sandra


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## patp (Apr 30, 2007)

Blimey Ray! Not sure, after we paid off the second mortgage on our house, and paid the land agent's fees, that our tax liability would be a sufficient amount to drive us to such drastic action as to leave the country. Perfectly understand why you would take that route though. Thank goodness you discovered that route was possible.

I use the "Royal" we above. Chris would be off like a shot if I would agree to move


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## pete4x4 (Dec 20, 2006)

Being someone who never had any gifts of money from Grandparents or parents in terms of money I would keep it and leave it in a will. You might need it.
Ive certainly done alright without that help. I think they will apreciate it more if its later on in life.


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## aldra (Jul 2, 2009)

And niether did we 

Until

Someone left me a great deal of money 

A bit like pip in great expectations 

And who would appreciate it later in life ? 

A granddaughter who needs £ 12000 for the next stage of her law articles 

Whose more than happy to borrow it and pay it back 

Not later in life but now

It’s now quite so easy

Sandra


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## powerplus (Oct 6, 2014)

you guys have got me worried now

an old friend said to me once i m blowing it on the horses and holidays 

and will just give them a little now and then in cash from all my winnings


barry


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## aldra (Jul 2, 2009)

Barry 

I’m not not to keen on holidays now 

If I’m honest I go away in the van fingers crossed , hoping I’ll see more than the inside of the van 

Joints are rubbish 

Hate hotels 

Horses I love but I wouldn’t bet on them 

Basically Im an old git :wink2:

The mind works 

Who knows for how long 

And the truth is money doesn’t compensate 

Provided you have enough for day to day 

And beyond that it really doesn’t matter any more 

Sandra:grin2:


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## pete4x4 (Dec 20, 2006)

aldra said:


> And niether did we
> 
> Until
> 
> ...


Oh I lend them money and they pay it back, thats different to just giving it away. My kids certainly now appreciate the value of money and that you have to work for it.


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## aldra (Jul 2, 2009)

And so do mine 

Not the kids, although we’re there for them too

Of course they can borrow 

We’ve moved on to the grandkids 

And we have a float 

That’s there for borrowing 

It’s just 12 thousand is a lot to pay back 

For a kid continuing her law exams 

A gift would be better 

But unfortunately she’s one of Ten Possibally 11

12Thousand x 10 

Well that’s what we would like to give to our grandkids eventually 

But she needs it now 

And we can’t garentee multiply 12 thousands will be there for the others

A worry

Which we are trying to sort it out

Sandra


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