# Racism



## TDG

Everyone seems to be in such a hurry to scream 'racism' these days. 

A customer asked, "In what aisle could I find the Irish sausage?" 
The assistant asks, "Are you Irish?" 
The guy, clearly offended, says, "Yes I am. But let me ask you something. 
If I had asked for Italian sausage, would you ask me if I was Italian? 
Or if I had asked for German Bratwurst, would you ask me if I was German? 
Or if I asked for a kosher hot dog would you ask me if I was Jewish? 
Or if I had asked for a Taco, would you ask if I was Mexican? 
Or if I asked for Polish sausage, would you ask if I was Polish?" 
The assistant says, "No, I probably wouldn't." 
The guy says, "Well then, just because I asked for Irish sausage, why did you ask me if I'm Irish?" 
The assistant replied, "Because you're in Halfords."


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## tattytony

TDG said:


> Everyone seems to be in such a hurry to scream 'racism' these days.
> 
> A customer asked, "In what aisle could I find the Irish sausage?"
> The assistant asks, "Are you Irish?"
> The guy, clearly offended, says, "Yes I am. But let me ask you something.
> If I had asked for Italian sausage, would you ask me if I was Italian?
> Or if I had asked for German Bratwurst, would you ask me if I was German?
> Or if I asked for a kosher hot dog would you ask me if I was Jewish?
> Or if I had asked for a Taco, would you ask if I was Mexican?
> Or if I asked for Polish sausage, would you ask if I was Polish?"
> The assistant says, "No, I probably wouldn't."
> The guy says, "Well then, just because I asked for Irish sausage, why did you ask me if I'm Irish?"
> The assistant replied, "Because you're in Halfords."


 :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:


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## Glandwr

The joke is not racist in it's self. In fact it's quite funny, thanks.

What is racist though is when you have to explain to a child or someone who has never heard an "Irish joke" that it is funny because we regard the Irish as stupid. Somehow takes the gloss off the laugh.

Everyone in this world had at some point not heard an Irish joke, at that time they probably didn't know that we are supposed to regard them as stupid. Such jokes remind us all.

Don't get me wrong TDG I'm not telling you off, as I said I laughed, but I would not mourn them if these jokes disappeared and I'm sure the Irish won't.

Dick


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## CliffyP

Irishman goes to rob a Bank, before hand he takes elocution lessons. He walks into the bank Mickey Mouse Mask and sawn of shotgun. He says, my good woman, would you so kind as empty your cash drawer and put the contents in this bag. Your Irish says the woman, jeez haw did ya know he said, easy youv'e sawn the wrong end off the gun :roll:


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## rogerblack

Glandwr said:


> The joke is not racist in it's self. In fact it's quite funny, thanks.
> 
> What is racist though is when you have to explain to a child or someone who has never heard an "Irish joke" that it is funny because we regard the Irish as stupid. Somehow takes the gloss off the laugh.
> 
> Everyone in this world had at some point not heard an Irish joke, at that time they probably didn't know that we are supposed to regard them as stupid. Such jokes remind us all.
> 
> Don't get me wrong TDG I'm not telling you off, as I said I laughed, but I would not mourn them if these jokes disappeared and I'm sure the Irish won't.
> 
> Dick


I wouldn't say that the Irish are stupid, however the fact is that they have a wonderfully different sense of logic as I have found working alongside many men and women from the Emerald Isle over the years, all of whom I have found charming.

The French make similar jokes about the Belgians, the Italians & Spanish about one another, Americans about Minnesotans, etc etc.

I was born and bred in Scotland and have lived much of my life in the South of England, if I had a pound for every time anyone made a joke about tight Scots over the years, I'd have enough to buy a round down the pub for a change . . .

The English make meanness jokes about Yorkshireman (who we know are only Scots with the streak of generosity removed), the Scots about Aberdonians, the Germans about Swabbenlanders, etc, etc.

I don't think any of it is meant to be offensive, despite the PC brigade saying otherwise. A bit of banter helps the world go around in my experience.

And at least we no longer make jokes about Taffys being thieves; now only that the Welsh are unwelcoming . . .


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## Glandwr

rogerblack said:


> I wouldn't say that the Irish are stupid, however the fact is that they have a wonderfully different sense of logic as I have found working alongside many men and women from the Emerald Isle over the years, all of whom I have found charming.
> 
> The French make similar jokes about the Belgians, the Italians & Spanish about one another, Americans about Minnesotans, etc etc.
> 
> I was born and bred in Scotland and have lived much of my life in the South of England, if I had a pound for every time anyone made a joke about tight Scots over the years, I'd have enough to buy a round down the pub for a change . . .
> 
> The English make meanness jokes about Yorkshireman (who we know are only Scots with the streak of generosity removed), the Scots about Aberdonians, the Germans about Swabbenlanders, etc, etc.
> 
> I don't think any of it is meant to be offensive, despite the PC brigade saying otherwise. A bit of banter helps the world go around in my experience.
> 
> And at least we no longer make jokes about Taffys being thieves; now only that the Welsh are unwelcoming . . .


How then do you explain to people who haven't heard one why an Irish joke is funny Roger.


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## TDG

Don't think I'll bother anymore :roll:


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## rogerblack

Glandwr said:


> How then do you explain to people who haven't heard one why an Irish joke is funny Roger.


That's a very good question. A lot of humour relies on references and therefore the recipient understanding those references and their subjects, and hence someone who hasn't heard similar jokes or who is unfamiliar with the reference material may not 'get' the joke. The very fact that jokes about 'racial' stereotypes are less prevalent now means the likelihood of someone (especially a younger person) hearing such a joke for the first time is greater. And if a joke needs explaining, it usually loses its humorous effect . . .

The OP's joke is funny on a couple of levels - the idea of someone asking for sausages in Halford's is quite funny anyway (assuming you know that Halford's isn't a butchers, of course - or indeed that you know that you need a butcher's to buy sausages - see what I mean!). Similar jokes about being in the newsagents instead of Specsavers tease those of a myopic disability.

So yes, you need to understand the references or else have them explained first time and I guess that means learning stereotypes including those referring to national backgrounds.

How do you explain to a child why we find someone falling over after slipping on a banana skin funny? Could be considered a bit of a cruel response in these PC days, no doubt the H&S jobs-worths will try to ban bananas - wasn't there a song about that?

Boy*, for something that started with a joke this is getting really deep. :?

*That wasn't a Freudian** boyyo reference, engendered by anything related to Cymru!

** although if it was, I wouldn't be aware of it as it'd be subliminal . . . :wink:


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## Glandwr

And a good answer Roger. I am sure you would agree though that the route to civilisation is littered with thoughtful questions. 

PC? I have a low opinion for political correctness and, like you probably do, consider that it has been hi-jacked and is now almost exclusively used as either a term of abuse or as a retreating retort when argument fails. Don’t know how H&S fits in though.

I’m sure that people who know me would not label me as PC or a killjoy, far from it (who am I to judge though)

They might say though that I’m an argumentative B who is ready to defend when I see injustice.

Please don’t you or TDG take it personally. As I said I found it funny, it was a new one to me, but can’t you see the pernicious side? 

Dick


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## rogerblack

Glandwr said:


> . . .
> They might say though that I'm an argumentative B who is ready to defend when I see injustice. . . .


Most people would refer to me as an argumentative B too, although I prefer the term 'Devils advocate'! 
I do indeed see the point you're making, Dick, although it does seem to be a typical case of leaping to defend on others behalves. You could argue a. that the Irish are perfectly capable of defending themselves and in fact by doing so on their behalf you are implying otherwise and therefore insulting them by implication and b. surely there's enough 'pernicious' stuff about the Welsh to defend to keep you busy on that front anyway . . .

(Sadly, there is no MHF Emoticon for someone with their tongue pushed firmly in their cheek!)

See what you started, TDG. :wink:


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## Glandwr

Out of interest do the Scots tell Irish jokes Roger?

Dick


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## rogerblack

Glandwr said:


> Out of interest do the Scots tell Irish jokes Roger?
> 
> Dick


Yes, the Irish generally bear the brunt as there isn't really a local Scottish alternative for 'stupid'*jokes as there is with Aberdonians for meanness. The Lowland Scots do make jokes about the 'Teuchters' from the Highlands/Islands - that's not so much based on them being 'stupid' but rather being a bit naive or unworldly, akin to how the English joke about the smock-wearing yokels from the West Country coming up to London.

"Look Morag, a hoose wi' wheels oan!" 
"Wheesht, Calum, it's jist a double decker bus."

There is also an East/West divide in Scotland - Glasgow versus Edinburgh and vice-versa- somewhat similar to the North/South divide in England. Don't get me started about pan-loaf accents!

The best Irish jokes came from Irishmen themselves, the likes of Dave Allen and Frank Carson, of course.

There must surely be some stereotypical attitudes about inhabitants of particular local areas within Wales that the Welsh make jokes about?

*(I prefer the word 'daft' as it implies more fondness for the trait)

Apologies to TDG for hi-jacking your thread, by the way, if you're still reading it.


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## patnles

For those of you who see only harmless fun in the telling of Irish jokes a cautionary tale. A comedian, who was overly fond of Irish jokes, was plying his trade in a club when an Irishman in the audience, enraged by what he was hearing, pulled out a razor and rushed onto the stage to attack the comedian. Fortunately he could find nowhere to plug it in.

Pat


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## asprn

patnles said:


> For those of you who see only harmless fun in the telling of Irish jokes a cautionary tale. A comedian, who was overly fond of Irish jokes, was plying his trade in a club when an Irishman in the audience, enraged by what he was hearing, pulled out a razor and rushed onto the stage to attack the comedian. Fortunately he could find nowhere to plug it in.


:lol:


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## asprn

rogerblack said:


> Yes, the Irish generally bear the brunt as there isn't really a local Scottish alternative for 'stupid'*jokes as there is with Aberdonians for meanness. The Lowland Scots do make jokes about the 'Teuchters' from the Highlands/Islands - that's not so much based on them being 'stupid' but rather being a bit naive or unworldly, akin to how the English joke about the smock-wearing yokels from the West Country coming up to London


I see you're hedging your bets then with "Berkshire/Fife" on your profile. Sublime to the riddickerless. 

Dougie.


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## Glandwr

rogerblack said:


> There must surely be some stereotypical attitudes about inhabitants of particular local areas within Wales that the Welsh make jokes about?


Well Roger the Cardis (those unlucky enough to come from Cardiganshire) do get a bit of stick for their frugality shall we say.

Dick


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## rogerblack

asprn said:


> I see you're hedging your bets then with "Berkshire/Fife" on your profile. Sublime to the riddickerless.
> 
> Dougie.


We have a home in Crail and another in Finchampstead 
(besides the one with wheels that goes hither and thither).

Unfortunately (some would say luckily) there isn't enough room in the field to include The Kingdom of Fife and The Royal County of Berkshire.

:wink:

Love your Morrocan flag, by the way . . .


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## asprn

rogerblack said:


> We have a home in Crail and another in Finchampstead


Given that my maternal roots are there, I'd thank you for the former and not the latter. I suppose I could contribute some Fly Fifer jokes, but they're about 25 years out of date. Or current if you live in Fife. 



rogerblack said:


> Love your Morrocan flag, by the way . . .


Que???

Dougie.


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## rogerblack

asprn said:


> rogerblack said:
> 
> 
> 
> We have a home in Crail and another in Finchampstead
> 
> 
> 
> Given that my maternal roots are there, I'd thank you for the former and not the latter. I suppose I could contribute some Fly Fifer jokes, but about 25 years out of date. Or current if you live in Fife.
> 
> 
> 
> rogerblack said:
> 
> 
> 
> Love your Morrocan flag, by the way . . .
> 
> Click to expand...
> 
> Que???
> 
> Dougie.
Click to expand...

Ah, good to hear you've at least a bit of the East Neuk in you, Dougie.

My tongue-in-cheek vexillological remark was related to your location being shown as Morroco and your flag showing as the crux decussata
( a.k.a. Saltire).


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## asprn

rogerblack said:


> Ah, good to hear you've at least a bit of the East Neuk in you, Dougie.


Another disappointment, I'm afraid - you took my comment just a tad too literally. She was from Methil (although she always understandably said Leven :lol: )



rogerblack said:


> My tongue-in-cheek vexillological remark was related to your location being shown as Morroco and your flag showing as the crux decussata( a.k.a. Saltire).


Dang!  Sorted - thanks.

Dougie.


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## rogerblack

asprn said:


> . . . She was from Methil (although she always understandably said Leven :lol: ) . . . Dougie.


Ah, understood - still a fellow Fifer nonetheless. 
My eldest sister lives just t'other side of Leven golf course in lovely Lundin Links, gateway to the East Neuk. There are rumours of a re-organisation potentially bringing them into Levenmouth district and the good burghers of LL seem to have a different outlook to that prospect than your mother had, strangely enough!

8)


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## Glandwr

This joke's gonna run and run TDG :wink: 

Dick


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## kaacee

Bloody hell ,

TDG tells a joke, a good one at that in my opinion and we get into a debate about PC. explaining it to a child and the rest of the crap that goes with it.

For christ sake lighten up.

Its only a joke

If it offends, I suggest you avoid reading any posts under Jokes in future, just in case it is about an Irishman or Pakistani etc.

Keith


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## Glandwr

gudlucker said:


> Bloody hell ,
> 
> TDG tells a joke, a good one at that in my opinion and we get into a debate about PC. explaining it to a child and the rest of the crap that goes with it.
> 
> For christ sake lighten up.
> 
> Its only a joke
> 
> If it offends, I suggest you avoid reading any posts under Jokes in future, just in case it is about an Irishman or Pakistani etc.
> 
> Keith


I didn't say I was offended I said it was funny, I said I had enjoyed it. I tried to make a point.

You sound offended is there a reason, or are you just in a bad mood?

Dick


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## olley

Keep posting, very interesting reading the posts, and learning new words as well.  Vexillological 

Ian


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## kaacee

Glandwr said:


> gudlucker said:
> 
> 
> 
> Bloody hell ,
> 
> TDG tells a joke, a good one at that in my opinion and we get into a debate about PC. explaining it to a child and the rest of the crap that goes with it.
> 
> For christ sake lighten up.
> 
> Its only a joke
> 
> If it offends, I suggest you avoid reading any posts under Jokes in future, just in case it is about an Irishman or Pakistani etc.
> 
> Keith
> 
> 
> 
> I didn't say I was offended I said it was funny, I said I had enjoyed it. I tried to make a point.
> 
> You sound offended is there a reason, or are you just in a bad mood?
> 
> Dick
Click to expand...

And your point was?

Oh and by the way,...... I am not offended or in a bad mood, but I do get weary when everytime some one posts something that is perhaps not to another persons liking we get a load of righteous waffle from from the PC brigade.

Keith :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:


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## Glandwr

gudlucker said:


> And your point was?
> 
> Oh and by the way,...... I am not offended or in a bad mood, but I do get weary when everytime some one posts something that is perhaps not to another persons liking we get a load of righteous waffle from from the PC brigade.
> 
> Keith :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:


My point is that a body of humour that relies on a shared opinion that a nation is stupid does more harm than good. You might not agree, I don't mind but grant me the freedom to make my point.

Your point about the PC brigade what is that about, what's it got to do with my point and who do you think they are?

Or is it just a way of abusing me and anyone who disagrees with your point of view.

Dick


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## kaacee

Glandwr said:


> gudlucker said:
> 
> 
> 
> And your point was?
> 
> Oh and by the way,...... I am not offended or in a bad mood, but I do get weary when everytime some one posts something that is perhaps not to another persons liking we get a load of righteous waffle from from the PC brigade.
> 
> Keith :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
> 
> 
> 
> My point is that a body of humour that relies on a shared opinion that a nation is stupid does more harm than good. You might not agree, I don't mind but grant me the freedom to make my point.
> 
> Your point about the PC brigade what is that about, what's it got to do with my point and who do you think they are?
> 
> Or is it just a way of abusing me and anyone who disagrees with your point of view.
> 
> Dick
Click to expand...

I will not even stoop to reply to your nonsense....suffice to say i thought it was one of the best jokes i have heard in a long time and long may they continue to be posted.

End of.

Keith


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## Glandwr

gudlucker said:


> I will not even stoop to reply to your nonsense....suffice to say i thought it was one of the best jokes i have heard in a long time and long may they continue to be posted.
> 
> End of.
> 
> Keith


I'm sorry that you would regard it as stooping.

I thought it a good joke too. I also hope that TDG keeps posting jokes, but not as you so precisely put it Irish or Pakistani ones.

Still confused about what exercised you so Keith.

Dick


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## TDG

Jokes & Trivia, Jokes & Trivia, Jokes & Trivia................. :roll:


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## eddievanbitz

Lots of people have told me that I shouldn't tell jokes about anyone else. 

Black, brown, yellow, grey, white, pink, pinker, tall, short, fat, thin, hairy, balding, smelly, stupid, able bodied, disable bodied, fit bodied, unfit bodied: Well we all know the list!

But no one has ever told me why?

So I tell a joke about a very fat man, we laugh. The fat man tells a joke about a bald man (me) we laugh, another tells a joke about a lanky man we laugh, the lanky man tells a joke about a short man..Well you get the picture.

My wife is Welsh and I know every Welsh joke there is (I didn't even mention about the chance of Wales winning the world cup this year) So I tell the person that I love the most in the World jokes about the Welsh, bearing in mind that my children are half Welsh and my mother in law is also Welsh. My Kids tell Welsh jokes and English jokes. 

Other than we all laugh a lot, together no one is upset or hurt (except when England beat Wales at Rubgy again this year!)

What is wrong with taking the mickey out of someone?

God (or whoever you belive) put very tall people and very short people on the earth. When a group of very tall people get together do we suppose that no reference is made to short people and I am sure visa versa with short people gathered together

Or does it make the PC brigade feel happy that the majorityof us pretend not to find non PC things funny and pee oursleves laughing in private?

It is a little like a party where a handful of people smoke. By the end of the night, it is surprising how many non smokers admit to having a puff every now and again with a drink and are out side cadging **** of the smokers.

If we loose this last piece of sanity we are doomed to a lifetime of jokes about white, middle class married men, who are clueless in bed, have small willies, cannot put up shelves or decorate and are crap drivers!

Long live funny jokes! And yes, a fat man stuck in a revolving door is funny I know I have seen it!


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## Zebedee

eddievanbitz said:


> If we loose this last piece of sanity we are doomed to a lifetime of jokes about white, middle class married men, who are clueless in bed, have small willies, cannot put up shelves or decorate and are crap drivers!


What have I done to upset you Eddie?

You needn't have mentioned the crap driving - that was really cruel!

Dave :lol: :lol: :lol:


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## Glandwr

Eddie I'm not saying you shouldn't make jokes about who you want. I'm not saying anyone who does so is bad in anyway.

I just want to be able to say that in my opinion there are downsides to certain of them and we need to think do we NEED to make those jokes knowing it.

I do however get stubborn when I get painted with the kiljoy/PC slurs.  

Dick


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## TDG

eddievanbitz said:


> ..If we loose this last piece of sanity we are doomed to a lifetime of jokes about white, middle class married men, who .... cannot put up shelves ....


A shelf fell off the wall in my garage tonight :roll:

PS How the hell did we get here from Halfords :?: :roll:


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## HeatherChloe

*OLYMPICS*

An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman attended The Olympic Games as spectators, but failed to get tickets for The main stadium.

The Englishman took a cannonball and got in by saying, 'I'm representing England in The shot.'

The Scotsman took a long pole and got in by saying, 'I'm representing Scotland in The pole vault.'

The Irishman took half a dozen stakes and three rolls of barbed wire and said to The official, 'I'm representing Ireland in fencing.'


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## eddievanbitz

*Re: OLYMPICS*



HeatherChloe said:


> An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman attended The Olympic Games as spectators, but failed to get tickets for The main stadium.
> 
> The Englishman took a cannonball and got in by saying, 'I'm representing England in The shot.'
> 
> The Scotsman took a long pole and got in by saying, 'I'm representing Scotland in The pole vault.'
> 
> The Irishman took half a dozen stakes and three rolls of barbed wire and said to The official, 'I'm representing Ireland in fencing.'


Boom Boom!


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## HeatherChloe

Three Irish friends -- two straight guys and a gay guy -- and their significant others were on a cruise. A tidal wave came up and swamped the ship; they all drowned, and next thing you know, they're standing before St. Peter.

First came one of the straight guys and his wife. St. Peter shook his head sadly. "I can't let you in. You loved money too much. You loved it so much, you even married a woman named Penny."

Then came the second straight guy. "Sorry, can't let you in, either. You loved food too much. You loved to eat so much, you even married a woman named Candy!" 

The gay guy turned to his boyfriend and whispered nervously, "It doesn't look good, Dick."


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## Glandwr

Very good. I like the play on words.

I do see the point of Irish jokes. It allows licence as RogerBlack says to introduce a surreal logic. But in the wrong hands they do denigrate and degrade.

Anyway you’ll hear no more I’m off to bed.

Dick


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## HeatherChloe

Glandwr said:


> What is racist though is when you have to explain to a child or someone who has never heard an "Irish joke" that it is funny because we regard the Irish as stupid. Somehow takes the gloss off the laugh.
> 
> Everyone in this world had at some point not heard an Irish joke, at that time they probably didn't know that we are supposed to regard them as stupid. Such jokes remind us all.


They say an Englishman laughs three times at a joke. The first time when everybody gets it, the second a week later when he thinks he gets it, the third time a month later when somebody explains it to him.


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## asprn

HeatherChloe said:


> They say an Englishman laughs three times at a joke. The first time when everybody gets it, the second a week later when he thinks he gets it, the third time a month later when somebody explains it to him.


Or her.

:lol:


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## asprn

gudlucker said:


> Bloody hell ,
> 
> TDG tells a joke, a good one at that in my opinion and we get into a debate about PC. explaining it to a child and the rest of the crap that goes with it.
> 
> For christ sake lighten up.
> 
> Its only a joke
> 
> If it offends, I suggest you avoid reading any posts under Jokes in future, just in case it is about an Irishman or Pakistani etc.


There's only person who has shouted and sworn on this thread so far, and that's you. In fact - just so you know - I find your post quite offensive because of its intolerance and tone.

So - glass houses and stones come to mind. 

(Sent in the same spirit you sent yours.)

Dougie.


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## locovan

asprn said:


> HeatherChloe said:
> 
> 
> 
> They say an Englishman laughs three times at a joke. The first time when everybody gets it, the second a week later when he thinks he gets it, the third time a month later when somebody explains it to him.
> 
> 
> 
> Or her.
> 
> :lol:
Click to expand...

I dont get the joke Dougie


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## asprn

locovan said:


> asprn said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> HeatherChloe said:
> 
> 
> 
> They say an Englishman laughs three times at a joke. The first time when everybody gets it, the second a week later when he thinks he gets it, the third time a month later when somebody explains it to him.
> 
> 
> 
> Or her.
> 
> :lol:
> 
> Click to expand...
> 
> I dont get the joke Dougie
Click to expand...

<deep breath>
There are several levels for my comment. Given the propensity for PC eggshells & minefields, and given the "racist" nature of HeatherChloe's joke, and given the fact that Heather & Chloe are both female, and given that they and I on previous serious threads have stood up for their relationship, I thought it was worth prodding her with tongue firmly in cheek (can I say that? :roll: ) about the despicable insinuation that it's only English _males_ who are thick. 

But it loses something in the explanation. 

Dougie.
</deep breath>


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## locovan

asprn said:


> locovan said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> asprn said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> HeatherChloe said:
> 
> 
> 
> They say an Englishman laughs three times at a joke. The first time when everybody gets it, the second a week later when he thinks he gets it, the third time a month later when somebody explains it to him.
> 
> 
> 
> Or her.
> 
> :lol:
> 
> Click to expand...
> 
> I dont get the joke Dougie
> 
> Click to expand...
> 
> <deep breath>
> There are several levels for my comment. Given the propensity for PC eggshells & minefields, and given the "racist" nature of HeatherChloe's joke, and given the fact that Heather & Chloe are both female, and given that they and I on previous serious threads have stood up for their relationship, I thought it was worth prodding her with tongue firmly in cheek (can I say that? :roll: ) about the despicable insinuation that it's only English _males_ who are thick.
> 
> But it loses something in the explanation.
> 
> Dougie.
> </deep breath>
Click to expand...

MAY 12th :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: 
see Im English


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## asprn

<sigh>


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## presto

wHATS BLACK AND BLUE AND FLOATS ON THE LAGAN ? AN ENGLISHMAN AFTER TELLING IRISH JOKES IN A BELFAST.


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## TDG

I was hoping it was going to be safe to put my head above the parapet again this morning ........ but looking at what's been said over the last 12 hours I have my doubts :wink:


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## motormouth

CliffyP said:


> Irishman goes to rob a Bank, before hand he takes elocution lessons. He walks into the bank Mickey Mouse Mask and sawn of shotgun. He says, my good woman, would you so kind as empty your cash drawer and put the contents in this bag. Your Irish says the woman, jeez haw did ya know he said, easy youv'e sawn the wrong end off the gun :roll:


That would be Jim "catch yerself on Stephen" McDonald then was it??
:lol:


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## kaacee

asprn said:


> gudlucker said:
> 
> 
> 
> Bloody hell ,
> 
> TDG tells a joke, a good one at that in my opinion and we get into a debate about PC. explaining it to a child and the rest of the crap that goes with it.
> 
> For christ sake lighten up.
> 
> Its only a joke
> 
> If it offends, I suggest you avoid reading any posts under Jokes in future, just in case it is about an Irishman or Pakistani etc.
> 
> 
> 
> There's only person who has shouted and sworn on this thread so far, and that's you. In fact - just so you know - I find your post quite offensive because of its intolerance and tone.
> 
> So - glass houses and stones come to mind.
> 
> (Sent in the same spirit you sent yours.)
> 
> Dougie.
Click to expand...

 I apologise for swearing if by swearing you mean "bloody", where you get the "shouted" from I don't know............

All I wanted to say was that jokes have been around for many many years and are referenced against all creeds and colour, the people that generally laugh the loudest are the ones the joke is aimed at so I do not understand why, when as TDG did, tells a joke about an Irish person , we have to have a lengthy dedate on the rights and wrongs of it.

Maybe my post came over rather strong for some people's liking and for that I also apologise, but if I was as eloquent as Eddie, it would have been written and accepted in the manner it was intended, obviously not by you, but then again, I found your response equally intolerant and offensive, but hey ho life goes on.

Life is too short for all this bickering and disagreement over such a small thing,was the point I was trying to get over, so lets just get on with life and concentrate on the real issues that face us.

Keith

p.s. I though Eddie's post was superb.


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## asprn

gudlucker said:


> I apologise for swearing if by swearing you mean "bloody"


Actually, it was "For christ sake lighten up" I was meaning, which is generally far more offensive to many people than "bloody hell". Anyway, handsome of you to respond like that - thanks.



gudlucker said:


> where you get the "shouted" from I don't know...


No-one ever whispered the two expletives you wrote. 



gudlucker said:


> Maybe my post came over rather strong for some people's liking and for that I also apologise


I wasn't looking for an apology - I simply challenged what appeared to be an intolerant post - intolerant of those people who you describe as the "PC brigade" but some of whom are genuinely sensitive and find some jokes offensive. I do not include myself in that category, but I quite easily challenge insensitivity, particularly when it's done with some profanity. That's not intolerance - it's challenging what to some people will be bullying.



gudlucker said:


> Life is too short for all this bickering and disagreement over such a small thing,was the point I was trying to get over


I agree it's not the end of the world (and if it is, it matters even less  ). We're all perfectly entitled to make points about whether we think people are sometimes precious about Irish jokes etc, but not in an intolerant way.

Dougie.


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## kaacee

asprn said:


> gudlucker said:
> 
> 
> 
> I apologise for swearing if by swearing you mean "bloody"
> 
> 
> 
> Actually, it was "For christ sake lighten up" I was meaning, which is generally far more offensive to many people than "bloody hell". Anyway, handsome of you to respond like that - thanks.
> 
> 
> 
> gudlucker said:
> 
> 
> 
> where you get the "shouted" from I don't know...
> 
> Click to expand...
> 
> No-one ever whispered the two expletives you wrote.
> 
> 
> 
> gudlucker said:
> 
> 
> 
> Maybe my post came over rather strong for some people's liking and for that I also apologise
> 
> Click to expand...
> 
> I wasn't looking for an apology - I simply challenged what appeared to be an intolerant post - intolerant of those people who you describe as the "PC brigade" but some of whom are genuinely sensitive and find some jokes offensive. I do not include myself in that category, but I quite easily challenge insensitivity, particularly when it's done with some profanity. That's not intolerance - it's challenging what to some people will be bullying.
> 
> 
> 
> gudlucker said:
> 
> 
> 
> Life is too short for all this bickering and disagreement over such a small thing,was the point I was trying to get over
> 
> Click to expand...
> 
> I agree it's not the end of the world (and if it is, it matters even less  ). We're all perfectly entitled to make points about whether we think people are sometimes precious about Irish jokes etc, but not in an intolerant way.
> 
> Dougie.
Click to expand...

  

I consider myself reprimanded on all points and guilty as charged...... 

Keith


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## rayrecrok

Hi.

Personally I cant understand why folk think the Irish are thick, I think they are very helpfull..

It was only yesterday when me and Sandra went into Hull to do a bit of DIY shopping. We had been riding round in circles looking for a B&Q until I came upon some Irish guys mending the road.
I pulled in and asked one of the guys leaning on his shovel, "Excuse me do you know if there is a B&Q in Hull" he said "Bigamous I dun no, but I will ask my foreman he his a very intelligent man", and with this he wondered off to ask his boss, he got out a book and between them they kept turning it round and thumbing through the pages until finally the Irish guy came sauntering back and said.. "I asked my boss and he has looked in the book, he cant find a B&Q in Hull but he has found two LL's" :wink: ....


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## Hezbez

I found this really funny when it first came out, but I wonder what Taysiders would think of it.

Caution: contains bad language and if you're not familiar with the dialect it may be totally lost on you;


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## clodhopper2006

Hezbez said:


> I found this really funny when it first came out, but I wonder what Taysiders would think of it.
> 
> Caution: contains bad language and if you're not familiar with the dialect it may be totally lost on you;


I mastered Klingon before I fathemed some Scottish dialects ;-)


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## asprn

gudlucker said:


> I consider myself reprimanded on all points and guilty as charged......


Don't be getting all sensitive now, or I'll have to come to your defence. 



Hezbez said:


> I found this really funny when it first came out, but I wonder what Taysiders would think of it


Speaking as an Edinburger, it's hilarious. :lol:

Dougie.


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## TDG

TDG said:


> Everyone seems to be in such a hurry to scream 'racism' these days. ....


It was originally titled "Irishman in Halfords" but I thought "Racism" might catch a bit more interest 8) 
* WO W ! *


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## rogerblack

asprn said:


> . . . I thought it was worth prodding her with tongue firmly in cheek (can I say that? :roll: ) . . .
> Dougie.


You can say it but I'm not sure how you'd actually do it?! :wink:


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## Zebedee

:lol: :lol: :lol: @ Roger

Very droll. :wink:


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## rogerblack

Hezbez said:


> I found this really funny when it first came out, but I wonder what Taysiders would think of it.
> 
> Caution: contains bad language and if you're not familiar with the dialect it may be totally lost on you;


As a Fifer I found it hilarious. Have you also seen this one?


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## Ricster

Seeing as we are doing the Scottish stuff here are a couple more...

Not hard to understand, just a straight overdub, but funny if you've seen the original... 




This one you probably do need to be Scottish to find funny..


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## HeatherChloe

asprn said:


> <deep breath>
> There are several levels for my comment. Given the propensity for PC eggshells & minefields, and given the "racist" nature of HeatherChloe's joke, and given the fact that Heather & Chloe are both female, and given that they and I on previous serious threads have stood up for their relationship, I thought it was worth prodding her with tongue firmly in cheek (can I say that? :roll: ) about the despicable insinuation that it's only English _males_ who are thick.
> 
> But it loses something in the explanation.
> 
> Dougie.
> </deep breath>


Yeh, and it loses something because I'm Welsh!

I suppose Chloe is English, but then, she's a dog.......


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## rogerblack

Ricster said:


> . . . This one you probably do need to be Scottish to find funny..


OK, how do I fix the moisture damage to my laptop keyboard caused by huge tears of laughter?! :lol: :lol: :lol:


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## Ricster

Glad it tickled you so much, Roger. It's from, if you didn't guess from the clip, a sketch show called Desperate Fishwives which was broadcast on Radio Scotland (Saturday lunchtime, if memory serves me correctly).

I don't doubt some googling will come up with more examples of their work. I think they ended up having 3 series or so.


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## raynipper

I think Monty Python could make a sketch out of this thread.

Ray.


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## asprn

Ricster said:


> Not hard to understand, just a straight overdub, but funny if you've seen the original...
> 
> 
> 
> 
> This one you probably do need to be Scottish to find funny..


Absolutely hilarious - thank you. I was crying with laughter. :lol:

Dougie.


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