# Annual Staff Reports....



## peejay (May 10, 2005)

Anyone who struggles with annual employee write ups or staff appraisals might find these may help. However, I very much doubt they will get a bonus if you use any of them....

1. "Since my last report, this employee has reached rock-bottom and has started to dig." 

2. "I would not allow this employee to breed." 

3. "This employee is really not so much of a has-been, but more of a definite won't be." 

4. "Works well when under constant supervision and cornered like a rat in a trap." 

5. "When she opens her mouth, it seems that it is only to change feet."

6. "This young lady has delusions of adequacy."

7. "He sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them." 

8. "This employee is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot." 

9. "This employee should go far, and the sooner he starts, the better." 

10. "Got a full 6-pack, but lacks the plastic thingy to hold it all together."

11. "A gross ignoramus -- 144 times worse than an ordinary ignoramus."

12. "He doesn't have ulcers, but he's a carrier." 

13. "I would like to go hunting with him sometime." 

14. "He's been working with glue too much."

15. "He would argue with a signpost." 

16. "He brings a lot of joy whenever he leaves the room." 

17. "When his IQ reaches 50, he should sell." 

18. "If you see two people talking and one looks bored, he's the other one." 

19. "A photographic memory but with the lens cover glued on."

20. "A prime candidate for natural de-selection."

21. "Donated his brain to science before he was done using it." 

22. "Gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train isn't coming." 

23. "He's got two brains cells, one is lost and the other is out looking for it." 

24. "If he were any more stupid, he'd have to be watered twice a week." 

25. "If you give him a penny for his thoughts, you'd get change." 

26. "If you stand close enough to him, you can hear the ocean."

27. "It's hard to believe he beat 1,000,000 other sperm." 

28. "One neuron short of a synapse."

29. "Some drink from the fountain of knowledge; he only gargled."

30. "Takes him 2 hours to watch '60-minutes'." 

31. "The wheel is turning, but the hamster is dead"

32. "His men would follow him anywhere, but only out of morbid curiosity"

33. "He would be out of his depth in a carpark puddle" 

34. "He certainly takes a long time to make his pointless"

35. "He has a knack for making strangers immediately"

:lol: :lol: 

pete


----------



## Grizzly (May 9, 2005)

These are magnificent Pete. Thanks - I need a good laugh tonight. I love no.8 and no 24.

G


----------



## sallytrafic (Jan 17, 2006)

what about 

the men will follow him anywhere.....out of curiosity

Frank


----------



## 100626 (Aug 20, 2006)

Hey, I used to work with him!!!!!!!!!!!! 8O


----------



## Don_Madge (May 1, 2005)

Hi Pete,

I like it, very funny  

Here's a few I like

Got into the gene pool while the lifeguard wasn't watching.
- A room temperature IQ.

I don't how you do it but my funnies get relegated to the joke section, where I suppose they rightly belong. 8O 

Don


----------



## bognormike (May 10, 2005)

Don Madge said:


> I don't how you do it but my funnies get relegated to the joke section, where I suppose they rightly belong. 8O
> 
> Don


he sneaked it in when no-one was watching..............I thought it was a MHF staff report :wink:


----------



## Don_Madge (May 1, 2005)

bognormike said:


> Don Madge said:
> 
> 
> > I don't how you do it but my funnies get relegated to the joke section, where I suppose they rightly belong. 8O
> ...


Mike,

I sneaked mine in just after but somebody was obviously watching   the mods don't usually miss much on here 8O 8O 
 
Don


----------

