# That Drunk Seamus.



## rayrecrok (Nov 21, 2008)

Hi.

Seamus staggered home very late after another evening with his drinking buddy Paddy. He took off his shoes to avoid waking his wife, Kathleen.

He tiptoed as quietly as he could toward the stairs leading to their upstairs bedroom, but misjudged the bottom step. As he caught himself by grabbing the banister, his body swung around and he landed heavily on his rump. A whiskey bottle in each back pocket broke and made the landing especially painful. 
Managing not to yell, Seamus sprung up, pulled down his pants, and looked in the hall mirror to see that his butt cheeks were cut and bleeding. He managed to quietly find a full box of Band-Aids and began putting a Band-Aid as best he could on each place he saw blood.

He then hid the now almost empty Band-Aid box and shuffled and stumbled his way to bed.. 
In the morning, Seamus woke up with searing pain in both his head and butt and Kathleen staring at him from across the room. 
She said, 'You were drunk again last night weren't you?'
Seamus said, 'Why you say such a mean thing?'
'Well,' Kathleen said, 'it could be the open front door, it could be the broken glass at the bottom of the stairs, it could be the drops of blood trailing through the house, it could be your bloodshot eyes, but mostly ....... 

It's all those Band-Aids stuck on the hall mirror. :lol: :lol: :lol:


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## motormouth (Jul 3, 2010)

:lol: :lol: 
Brilliant.


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## loddy (Feb 12, 2007)

*Paddy had been drinking at his local Dublin pub all day and most of 
the night celebrating St Patrick's Day. Mick, the bartender says, you'll
not be drinking anymore tonight, Paddy' replies, 'OK Mick, I'll be on my way then'.*

**

*Paddy spins around on his stool and steps off.. He falls flat on his 
face. 'Shoite' he says and pulls himself up by thestool and dusts 
himself off. He takes a step towards the door and falls flat on his 
face,'Shoite,Shoite !'


He looks to the doorway and thinks to himself that if he can just get 
to the door and some fresh air he'll be fine. He belly crawls to the door 
and shimmies up to the door frame. He sticks his head outside and takes 
a deep breath of fresh air, feels much better and takes a step out on to 
the sidewalk and falls flat on his face.


'Bi'Jesus... I'm focked,' he says.


He can see his house just a few doors down, and crawls to the door,hauls 
himself up the door frame, opens the door and shimmies inside.. He takes 
a look up the stairs and says 'No fockin' way'. He crawls up the stairs 
to his bedroom door and says 'I can make it to the bed'. He takes a step 
into the room and falls flat on his face. He says 'Fock it' and falls 
into bed


The next morning, his wife, Jess, comes into the room carrying a cup 
of coffee and says, 'Get up Paddy. Did you have a bit to drink last

night ?'Paddy says, 'I did, Jess. I was fockin' pissed. But how'd you know?'


'Mick phoned .. . . You left your wheelchair at the pub.*'


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## seamusog (May 10, 2005)

rayrecrok said:


> Hi.
> 
> Seamus staggered home very late after another evening with his drinking buddy Paddy. He took off his shoes to avoid waking his wife, Kathleen.
> 
> ...


 :lol: :lol:

That'll learn seamus to drink Paddy, he should drink jamesons, just like his namesake, if he wants to keep his wits about him when he's locked. 8) 
I may have pressed the report button instead of the quote button Ray, should that be the case I do apologise.
seamus, the sober one.
jaysas, I read that wrong there, I thought you said he was drinking 'paddy'


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## DTPCHEMICALS (Jul 24, 2006)

Nice one Ray, by the way how do you know Lady seamus`was called Kathleen :wink: 

Dave p


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