# How to fix the economy



## Vennwood (Feb 4, 2007)

Dear Mr. Cameron,

Please find below our suggestion for fixing England's economy.

Instead of giving billions of pounds to banks that will squander the money on lavish parties and unearned bonuses, use the following plan.

You can call it the Patriotic Retirement Plan:

There are about 10 million people over 50 in the work force.

Pay them £1 million each severance for early retirement with the following stipulations:

1) They MUST retire.

Ten million job openings - unemployment fixed

2) They MUST buy a new British car.

Ten million cars ordered - Car Industry fixed

3) They MUST either buy a house or pay off their mortgage -

Housing Crisis fixed

4) They MUST send their kids to school/college/university -

Crime rate fixed

5) They MUST buy £100 WORTH of alcohol/tobacco a week .....

And there's your money back in duty/tax etc

6) Instead of stuffing around with the carbon emissions trading scheme that makes us pay for the major polluters, tell the greedy b***ards to reduce their pollution emissions by 75% within 5 years or we shut them down.

It can't get any easier than that!

P.S. If more money is needed, have all members of parliament pay back their falsely claimed expenses and second home allowances


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## jimmyd0g (Oct 22, 2009)

You have posted this in jokes & trivia, so I assume that there is an element of tongue in cheek in your post. However, where does the government get £10 billion (if my maths is correct) from? As you have pointed out on a thread in the bar, we don't have enough money to give to other countries so that they may buy British goods & services. Therefore how can can we afford 'your' scheme, even if non-drivers were persuaded to buy a car; non-parents were persuaded to adopt a child to send to university; etc?


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## Vennwood (Feb 4, 2007)

Its supposed to be a bit of light hearted entertainment - so its in JOKES & TRIVIA


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## jimmyd0g (Oct 22, 2009)

Vennwood said:


> Its supposed to be a bit of light hearted entertainment - so its in JOKES & TRIVIA


Nice try! Just because you say it is a joke doesn't necessarily make it a joke. There were certainly no smiley or laughter icons to give us a clue as to which bits were meant to be 'light hearted' or 'entertaining'. But, in the spirit of light heartedness, where does the money (that you have acknowledged, elsewhere on these forums, we haven't got) come from?


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## alhod (Nov 1, 2010)

Vennwood said:


> Dear Mr. Cameron,
> 
> Please find below our suggestion for fixing England's economy.
> 
> ...


*

Great idea - put wife and I down for a million each and we'll stop working tomorrow - I'll even pass my own business over to an unemployed youngster to give him a good start in biz!
:wink: :wink: 8)*


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## Glandwr (Jun 12, 2006)

jimmyd0g said:


> You have posted this in jokes & trivia,


If it's got Cameron, fixing and the economy in it there's nowhere else it can go but Jokes and Trivia Jimmy.

Dick


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