# Pussers Binton Rally Report Part 1



## Pusser (May 9, 2005)

Sorry the report got a bit long, hence two parts and part 2 hopefully tomorrow when I get my eyes working. Heather incidently is a bit better but not a lot so it was the best that we didn't stay the night.

NukeAdmins Sponsored Binton Rally Report Oct 2006 

Part 1 – Getting there

One hour before departure, and over 24 hours later since the missus asked me, I checked all was well in the Pussbus.

All was not well. No 12v anywhere that I could find. Taps couldn’t even manage a drop, interior lights stayed off when on and I thought here we go again.

Out came the hookup lead and after half an hour I had managed to get all the knots out of it and plugged it in. Hey Presto – nothing.

I put on doleful expression number 8 from my collection and mentioned it to the missus. Doleful expression number 8 turned out not to be the correct one and I was blasted for not sorting all this out the day before. Replaced doleful expression number 8 with hurt expression number 4. Crossed out doleful expression number 8 in my little book.

So I checked all the fuses and all seemed intacto and then I thought I would try starting the engine. The moment I did this the lights came on inside and the taps were coughing up air but no water. I turned the engine off and as luck would have it, all worked as it should and I have no explanation for this so any clues would be much appreciated. Checked the gas – fine, checked the water tank and all had gone.

It was around this time I discovered that the Fenwicks stuff from Halfords was smelling so much better than the Blue stuff. I am really pleased with this as it is eco friendly too. I also read somewhere that if you fill a spray bottle with it, squirt the Porta Pottie bowl and sing the song “Slip Sliding Away”, and job done. . It smells to me better than some of the aftershaves I have been given at Christmas from the kids when they only had 20p to splash out on presents for the whole family..

Next task was to fill the water tank with fresh water and as the hose would not reach the water inlet, I lifted up the seat and stuck it through the big hole in the top and went outside and turned the tap on. Timing has never been good to me and just as I gave the tap a final twist to full on, the missus stepped up into the van just as the hose shot out of the water tank and washed down the seat, floor and her.

Of course, I could see the funny side, but I appeared to be the only one that did which was unfortunate and I felt I was on borrowed time.

At last everything was ready and we reversed out into the road to begin our 60 mile, 1 hour journey to Binton.

“Did you put the camera in”, asked the missus.

Brake on, handbrake on, out the cab and back into the house and picked up the camera and then also noticed the quiz questions folder laying by the printer. “Oh! Thank you God”, and I went cold thinking that quiz night without any questions was likely to be a tad boring.

Off we went and just as we arrived on the M40 the missus asked me for M’LadyJ’s directions. I realised straightaway these were still in the printer with my autoroute map.

“Don’t worry, “ I said confidently, “I can remember the way – it’s a doddle. We just need to get off at Junction 15 and follow the main road around Stratford.”

We passed junction 13 and coming up to junction 14 which also said Stratford I decided to overtake a lorry in the middle lane in plenty of time to get off at the next junction to the other Stratford. 

“You’ve missed the junction,” the missus said. 

“No I haven’t. We need the next one”.

“There is no next one as the motorway splits”, said the missus and I think I detected a note of exasperation.

“Well, it’s not the end of the world darling”, we only have to turn around at the next junction and come back again. It won’t be far and we have plenty of time”.

(Dabs told me later that evening that there is no junction 14 Northbound hence an excuse for me. Sort of)

I had just finished this sentence when we hit the traffic jam. For 16 very long miles we inched our way towards the M40\M42 split and when we finally arrived at the split there was no reason for the jam that I could see and traffic was normal. Weird.

Around we turned and headed back at speed with only moderate traffic to worry about and this time I thought of nothing else than turning off at Junction 15 Stratford and this we did and I have to admit I felt a surge of pride that I had managed it. Missus of course was surprised.

I think by way of retribution, the pub lunch I was promised was superseded by some cold sausage rolls from Morrisons in Stratford.and I took this opportunity to ask a young lady parked next to me the directions to Binton.

“Turn left out of here, over the river and follow the sign to Shipton. You will see Binton and if you get to Shipton then you have gone to far.” I said thank you to the nice lady and then shortly after, with mouth fool of tasty sausage roll we were heading for Shipton.

Half an hour later we arrived at Shipton with no sign of Binton. The bitch had sent us down the wrong road. 

Once again I turned around and stopped at a 2 pump garage and asked the man inside.

“Which way are you headed,“ he said, peering out at the Pussbus which was the only vehicle in the entire garage.

I really couldn’t be bothered to answer that question and stood there in silence waiting for him to work it out. Work it out he did, but I knew instinctively that I wouldn’t be seeing him on Mastermind in the near future.

“You need to go to Stratford”, he said.

“We’ve just come from there – isn’t there a quicker way?”

“No”, he said, “You have to go back to Stratford and get on the Evesham road”.

By now I was wondering if the members at Binton would be happy with a Quiz Morning rather than a Quiz Night. 

Off we went again, the sausage rolls holding out and I was surprised to get a Danish pastry for pudding. Very surprised under the circumstances.

Once again we entered Stratford and after investigating a few miles of the Stratford to Banbury road we turned around again, followed the signs to Anne Hathaways cottage and felt this time we were on a roll.

Lower Binton appeared first and I wondered if Lower Binton was the same as Binton but carried on, knowing I could turn around again if another Binton did not materialise. But Binton did materialise and we headed up the country lane when we espied a field of about 50 motorhomes.

“Do you think this is it?” I said rather unnecessarily.

“How many fields containing 50 motorhomes are likely to be in Binton?” said the missus and I had to agree that this seemed a likely spot to make tentative enquiries.


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## Sundial (May 11, 2005)

*Second part of report*

 Can's wait to read the second part tomorrow! Wish I could story tell as well as you!

Sundial


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## an99uk (May 12, 2005)

Agreed!!!
Can't wait until tomorrow.
Great to meet you Pusser have you "modelled" your prize yet


Angie.........................


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## 92046 (May 1, 2005)

Word-perfect, but there again any story or report written by Pusser is ALWAYS word-perfect.

Good on you Pusser, I envy your ability of putin pen to paper !..... or is that finger to keyboard :lol: :lol: :lol: 

Colin R.......


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## Drummer (May 9, 2005)

Brilliant! 8) 

Pussers report Part 2 ... The revenge! :lol: :lol: :lol:


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## sallytrafic (Jan 17, 2006)

Vintage Pusser :lol:

We both enjoyed reading it even though we had already heard it from the horse's mouth.

So, as Doreen's not come across pusserisms before, for tonight's bedtime reading (probably between conjugal events 2 and 3) I've printed off pusser's 2004 trip to France and 1,2 and 3 of his 'report'. For those who haven't read them, here are some links but if you strain something laughing  don't blame me.

Regards Frank

Maiden
Report1
Report2
Report3


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## geraldandannie (Jun 4, 2006)

Excellent! Roll on part 2  

Gerald


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## Motorhomersimpson (May 9, 2005)

Hi pusser,

As usual you have the ability to turn an everyday drive (well for most people) into an adventure , perhaps we should hire you out from MHF...."pusser's mystery trips"  

MHS...Rob


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## zaskar (Jun 6, 2005)

Pusser said:


> .


I've read some funny reports on here............but that was by far the best.
What great start to monday morning at work!  
Get part 2 on quick, I'll probably need it by this afternoon!

Cheers Pusser


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## clianthus (Jul 8, 2006)

Come on Pusser, whats the delay? I can't wait for the next instalment!!


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## Pusser (May 9, 2005)

Sorry about delay. Dad, 94 on last night fell over on the driveway and rather than cause a nuisance to anyone spent half and hour trying to get up thus cutting his knees to shreds, loosing blood from a head wound and only when he had no strength left in him pressed his emergency button for help. Help came from the neighbours (Keyholders) and an ambulance was called and he was taken to A&E. Neighbour very kindly baby sat my Mum even though his work started at 6 in the morning. How lucky they are to have such neighbours. 

But good news, after being patched up they sent him home in a taxi and although he is shaking and very unsteady, he is getting better by the minute.

So I was up until 3 this morning so I could get the report from the hospital and then this morning I was phoning up to get extra help from social services and wondering if I should shoot straight down there. But of course Heather is not very well at all and lucily another carer who is private came in early so at the moment I may not go down to Thursday.

With all this going on I couldn't think of what to write -  and I still have a problem in that I cannot remember who I saw and who I didn't so I need to get around that prob.

But I have written a paragraph so a start has been made.


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## Invicta (Feb 9, 2006)

Very sorry to hear of your problems Pusser. I too am waiting excitedly to read the second instalment of your Binton trip.

Sounds as if your father lives in an area that is well served with an A & E department at the moment. Not for much longer though if TB has his way unless your father lives in a large urban area and even then A & E departments are being closed and patients made to travel further afield.

What this government is doing to the National Health Service is appalling to say the least. It isn't till one needs the service that one finds out just what isn't there anymore.

Anyway sorry for my ramblings, the demise of the NHS is aways top of my agenda, having worked in it for over 30 years and now being a patient at times in need of it myself. To see what has happened in my neck of the woods I suggest you look at the web site www.chek.org.uk

I hope that you soon gets your troubles sorted and get back to the keyboard !


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## Pusser (May 9, 2005)

Invicta said:


> Very sorry to hear of your problems Pusser. I too am waiting excitedly to read the second instalment of your Binton trip.
> 
> Sounds as if your father lives in an area that is well served with an A & E department at the moment. Not for much longer though if TB has his way unless your father lives in a large urban area and even then A & E departments are being closed and patients made to travel further afield.
> 
> ...


I'm right behind you with the NHS. The NHS was brilliant in concept and still is. And there would be nothing wrong with it now if pollies had kept their noses out.


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## Rapide561 (Oct 1, 2005)

*Pussers report*

Hi

Better that Emmerdale - I await with baited breath!

Rapide561


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## annej (May 27, 2005)

Hi Pusser,

Hope your dad is feeling better.

"pusser's mystery trips" :lol: 

Sounds good to me. Perhaps a convoy through France :lol:

Anne


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## an99uk (May 12, 2005)

*Pussers report*

Not sure about a convoy through France.

With Pusser leading we would proberbly end up in Too loos.

Angie................


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## Drummer (May 9, 2005)

Drummer sends best wishes to Dad ... and Mum who has probably got A levels in worrying. :roll: :lol: 

Tell him, he'll be sadly missed on the front row of "River Dance" and in a month or so, he'll be back skiing! :wink:


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## Motorhomersimpson (May 9, 2005)

Hi Anne & Angie,

Perhaps it would be better to call it "pussers mystery tours" we could have a rally led by the great man himself and see where we end up 

Anne...France now that would be interesting after reading pussers exploits in the country 

Angie...Too loos, most appropriate 

MHS...Rob


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## Motorhomersimpson (May 9, 2005)

Oh, and pusser I have already sent my best wishes to you privately as you’re aware but I would echo every one else's comments regarding you're dad :wink: 

Also tell him there are thousands of people here routing for him to have a quick and speedy recovery  

MHS...Rob


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## LadyJ (May 9, 2005)

I do hope your Father is on the mend Puss dear and that Mrs Pusser is feeling better too, please give them our best wishes.


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## clianthus (Jul 8, 2006)

Sorry about your Dads accident Pusser, hope he's feeling a bit steadier now.

I hope it wasn't seeing our crowd on Saturday night, that made Mrs Pusser feel unwell :lol:

Anyway I think you have the perfect excuse to keep everyone waiting for part 2, but the suspense is killing me!!


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## Pusser (May 9, 2005)

Many thanks for such kind comments and I certainly will tell my Mum and Dad all about it on Thursday when I go down. Heather is better migrain wise but bug wise but cough wise and shivering wise isn't looking to good. However, where I keep medical issues to myself she tends to tell everyone her ailments, but that is because I am a man. :roll: 

Dad is on the mend with bandage on his head, black eye and cut knees - still very shakey but he is determinded not to let things like that interfere with his daily duties and routines which have to be done each day with perfection. I wish I had got his willpower and perseverence.

Part 2 is up - a bit rushed I'm sorry because I have had a lot on with phoning up half of Devon trying to get some better practices sorted out. I must say that in recent times Devon Care Direct are absolutely superb and cannot do enough for them.

Many thanks again...


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## annej (May 27, 2005)

Now, ending up in Too Loos :lol: wouldn't be such a bad idea. European capital of the Aerospace industry (Eddie), that would keep him busy, and one of my favourite regions in France, only a hop, skip and a jump for the uphill sections of the Tour de France in the Pyrenees :lol: 

Anne


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## 92859 (May 1, 2005)

Greetings,

As always Pusser your report is a very good read, sorry to hear about your Dad, hope he continues to improve.

Our trip to Binton, was marred with minor problems from the off, I put the mobile phone on charge before we went, then after we drove across the Humber bridge for some way I thought where is the phone? oh heck, left it on charge at home, not really impressed going back and paying more bridge tolls twice so we made do with our back up one for the trip.

We always forget to take something even though I have a tick list with me!

Got down to Hatton Country World OK, then went for my medication in the morning, I forgot to take one of my most important box of tablets so I had some suffering whilst I returned home.

Then tried to find the keys for my mobility scooter, ah, no, so was unable to use it.

Anyway good to be home, looking forward to our next adventure, don't know about the Hymer yet as I don't think I can get my wheels inside it, supposed to go back Wednesday with it to see but after measuring up last night, don't think it will fit, so its back to the drawing board to try and find another van with a garage this time.


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