# I feel so guilty!



## Sonesta (May 10, 2005)

I am feeling so guilty at the moment and need to talk!

We had our little dog Candy Kisses spayed yesterday and she seems in quite a lot of pain and keeps crying out, especially if she attempts to move suddenly. I have rang my vet and she says this is quite normal and told us just to keep her quiet and not let her do too much. She said Candy had been given a pain killing injection which would last for 24 hours, so we must not to give her any other pain killers. She explained, that it is quite an intensive operation and if a human female were to have had a hysterectomy, she would be laid up for several days, which of course is indeed very true? If I look at it from that angle then obviously Candy is going to be in some discomfort and is bound to take a while to recover isn't she? 

I suppose to be honest with you, I wasn't expecting Candy to be in quite so much pain as she obviously is and the fact that she is suffering like this, has left me feeling guilt ridden for putting her through such an operation and I am now questioning my deciscion! Was it for her benefit or for mine?  I was assuming Candy would be like my best friend Briarose's little dog Megan was after she had been spayed last year and apparently within 24 hours Megan was fine! Megan only really showed signs of any real discomfort on the actual day of the surgery and by the next day she was more or less back to her old self again! Briarose informs me, that apart from Megan being a bit drowsy and a bit sorry for herself on the day of her op, she was okay and she recovered really quickly from the whole procedure! 

When I explained all this to my vet she said, that like humans, dogs can have different pain thresholds, which I am sure is very true and so I guess our Candy's is quite low? Nevertheless, I still feel so sorry for her and at this moment in time, I am really wishing I hadn't put her through all this!

Our other little dog Buddy has been a star and yesterday whilst she was away at the vets you could see he was anxious as to where she had gone? When we got her back home, Buddy was waiting eagerly for her return but immediately you could see he instinctively knew something was not quite right! His instincts must be so in tune with Candy's as he seems to understand that she is not very well and he is being really protective of her! In fact, he too was making little crying sounds of concern when she was laid in her bed whimpering yesterday and although normally he is really boisterous and playful around her, he seemed reluctant to approach her and then when he did cautiously go up to her, he was so gentle and calm. Bless his little heart, we are so proud of his caring little ways and we are both wondering what must be going through his little head too?

I would be interested to hear what anyone else's experiences have been after getting their pets spayed and right now I could do with some reassurance and advice?

Thanks for listening to me.

Sue


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## Rapide561 (Oct 1, 2005)

*Spayed*

Don't worry Sue.

Jenny was spayed about three years ago and at the same time, had her teeth cleaned and a "lump" removed. When I picked her up from the vets, I cried.

That night, I tok the mattress downstairs and Jenny, Oscar and I slept on the dining room floor. She was sulking a bit, but Oscar sort of knew she was a bit poorly.

The following night, she rans up the stairs as normal.

First day or so is the hardest bit. Take her back to the docs though if you are worried.

Russell


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## 107088 (Sep 18, 2007)

Sue,
Dont be guilty, and dont be concerned overly. As you say, different dog have different pain thresholds. All bitches and dog IMHO should be " arranged" aas a matter of course, and what you have done is a scocially responsible thing.

Also, please remember that dogs are just that, they're dogs, and do not rationalise like what we,( allegedly,) superior beings do. Its unlikely that Buster is acting on any more than an instinctual level, and in a couple of days, he'll take less notice of her, than my wife does of me....actually thats not possible. Anyway, have no fear, and she'll be okay long before you are. Just dont molly coddle her any more than needed. leave her to her own devices and let nature take its course.



this may of coure be complet billhooks, and should always be considered as such.


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## 101776 (Nov 13, 2006)

Bless you Sue for being so kindhearted and loving your little dog so much, I guess her crying out is just like us going 'ouch' if we move too quickly when things are sore.

All will be well in a day or two and I know you did the best for both of you.!


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## 108370 (Nov 20, 2007)

bandaid said:


> Sue,
> Dont be guilty, and dont be concerned overly. As you say, different dog have different pain thresholds. All bitches and dog IMHO should be " arranged" aas a matter of course, and what you have done is a scocially responsible thing.
> quote]
> 
> ...


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## 107088 (Sep 18, 2007)

Nice to see you can be polite with your critique as well as expressing your view.

The reason it socially responsible is that maybe, just maybe if all owners of dogs, and cats, for that matter, had their dogs made infertile...will that be a better wording?.. is that it could possibly make the need for rescue organisations redundant. 
Maybe it would stop thousands of dogs and cats require new homes as a result of unwanted pregnacies.
maybe, just maybe, there are too many dog and cats about for the number of potential owners.

When the rescue centres are empty, then my opinon on the need for spaying and castration wil be equally as redundant.

end of.....what, pray tell, your opinion, or the dicussion.....?


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## Kelcat (Apr 20, 2008)

When we had Pushka spayed my O/H was in Paris (very convienient) and I had to deal with it. I found the whole thing so stressful that I had to buy the Vets Practise chocolates to make up for my behaviour when they were 2hrs late ringing me to tell me she was OK - I have never lived it down with them.

Pushka had a course of Metacalm (to stop her trying to run around & thereby tear the stitches) but was bakc to her normal self after about a week.


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## 108370 (Nov 20, 2007)

bandaid said:


> Nice to see you can be polite with your critique as well as expressing your view.
> 
> The reason it socially responsible is that maybe, just maybe if all owners of dogs, and cats, for that matter, had their dogs made infertile...will that be a better wording?.. is that it could possibly make the need for rescue organisations redundant.
> Maybe it would stop thousands of dogs and cats require new homes as a result of unwanted pregnacies.
> ...


Most ( not all ) pet owners are rsponsible and spend much time and much money looking after them. they clean up their faeces and work hard to keep them under proper control.

There is no benefit in having any animal undergo potentially damaging surgery unless it is needed. After all would you put a human being through a surgical procedure that was not required ( I do not want to get into a plastic surgery discussion )

As I said I do not want to hi jack the thread so I suggest you interogate the web which may give you a better insight in the whys and wherfores reagrding neutering.


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## littlenell (Aug 1, 2008)

I am sorry to read your Candy is is some discomfort. If the pain is not decreasing I would get her reviewed by the vets- as with any procedure sometimes things don't go quite to plan. They can pick up on vibes as you know so maybe she is feeling your worry. Hard to do but try to be as upbeat as you can.

I have weighed up the pro's cons of neutering very carefully before deciding which path to choose. There is a lot of research that shows health implications for not neutering as there are for leaving an animal intact. Each owner makes their choice based on their own situation.


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## javea (Jun 8, 2007)

Hi Sue,

Over the years we have had 2 Cocker Spaniel Bitches spayed and 2 dogs neutered. In all cases they have recovered within a day or so, although naturally they are a bit sore, etc. for a day or so.

Recently had to take on of the dogs to the Royal Veterinary College in Hatfield with suspected cancer in the anal gland. Prognosis was unfortunately correct and he had to have a fairly major, and expensive, operation. All fine but when he got home he made a 'yelp' when bending down for food or water. The vet from the RVC (wonderful place and people by the way) said that sometimes they experience this after an operation because during the process the animal is obviously totally relaxed and when they get back to normality it can take a little time for everything to 'return to normal'. He was quite correct and within a day or so he was returned to his normal rude health.

Don't worry, I am sure it will be fine.

Regards,

Mike


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## 102623 (Jan 25, 2007)

*Get well soon*

Hello Candy

My name is Jenny and I am a dog. I had the same operation as you and it really will be alright in a day or so.

I think that once these bits have gone, they can never ecome poorly, as they are not there to become poorly.

I am also a lot happier having had a few things taken away, and no longer hae seasons and so on.

Sleep well and make sure you bite your mummy and daddy's ankles when you are feeling better.

I am going back to sleep now in the sunshine. My dad is busy working today.

Woof woof.

Jenny.


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## zulurita (May 9, 2005)

I do feel for you Sonesta.

Don't feel guilty though. We had Jabulile speyed but it is some years ago now. All i can remember is that she was very sleepy when we picked her up from the vets. But she had a little something to eat that evening and was pretty lively the next morning.

I don't remember her in a lot of pain though she must have had some but it wasn't terribly obvious.


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## Sonesta (May 10, 2005)

Thanks everyone and it's nice to know you are out there to turn to as at the moment my hubby is at work and I feel quite alone. Aw I know ........... what a really pathetic woman I must sound?  

Candy is asleep on our bed at the moment (I think she likes the security of being there) and buddy is beside her keeping her company. I think she does seem a little less distressed today as everyone time I go in to her her little tail wags like mad - but she is still in pain obviously and keeps making those pitiful little whimpering noises.

I don't want to see this thread turn into a debate about the rights and wrongs of spaying as I feel bad enough as it is and I am seriously wondering if I have done the right thing but everyone, including my vet and the breeder we got Candy from; who also happens to be the secretary of the Bolognese dog club, advised us we were and said by having her spayed we would reduce the chances of Candy developing certain diseases and cancers in the future. I really hope in a week or two's time I will be pleased with my decision but at this very moment seeing her in pain is hard to cope with and is making me seriously wish I hadn't listened to anyone's advice.

Russell my dear - you are such a lovely man and I always feel better after getting a reply from you as you are an old softie too. I also cried when I went to pick Candy up from the vets but thankfully I managed to keep a check on myself until I got in the car and then I let it all out.  

Thanks again everyone and I really really appreciate your replies and support.  

Sue


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## Sonesta (May 10, 2005)

Oh Zulrita, Jenny and Mike, thank you for your lovely posts too I was in the middle of writing my last one and didn't noticed until I submitted it that you 3 lovely people had posted a reply too. I just want to say your comments are very welcome too and I just loved the post from Jenny to Candy .......... What a clever little dog you are Jenny and so brave? I told Candy all about you and she says thank you too and when she feels better she is going to go for a run on the beach with her partner in crime Buddy!

Sue x


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## 107088 (Sep 18, 2007)

littlenell said:


> I have weighed up the pro's cons of neutering very carefully before deciding which path to choose. There is a lot of research that shows health implications for not neutering as there are for leaving an animal intact. Each owner makes their choice based on their own situation.


I agree, at least thats a good place to achieve agreement in disagreement.


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## patnles (Oct 26, 2006)

Sue, you have definitely made the right and responsible decision to have little Candy spayed. I'm sure by this evening she will be feeling much better. It is a medical fact that spaying and neutering does prolong the life of a pet and does reduce the risk of serious health problems in later life.
It may be the anasthetic that is causing Candy to cry out, it's not causing pain but it does have that effect. Usually it doesn't last long but it can last for 24hrs depending on the dog. My dog had a very long operation earlier this year which resulted in her having a lot of anasthetic. She was crying in her sleep and also snarling. She had a very large lump removed which had grown deep into the muscle. I had to make the decision whether to leave it or remove it so I felt very upset and guilty afterwards. She had had the lump for a year and it wasn't bothering her so we(vet and I) decided to leave well alone as she was 14 years old at the time. Eventually it grew so large it was compromising her mobility and as it was on her left shoulder and she already had arthritis in her left wrist I felt the lump was adding to her pain. On the night of her op I cried and wished I had not put her through it. She was very unwell for a week or so afterwards as she got an infection in the wound, but in the end it made such a big difference to her mobility and quality of life, I wished I'd had it done sooner.
Anyway I just wanted to say, I know how your feeling, but I'm sure Candy 
will soon be back to normal and will have to be restrained , for fear of pulling her sutures  
Lesley

PS Incidentally, The night of Elsa's op I prepared an airbed on the floor of the lounge next to her so that I could keep a close eye on her. I went upstairs and got ready for bed, came down and got settled in, switched the light off and she promptly got up and went upstairs to bed.


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## Sonesta (May 10, 2005)

bouncer said:


> Bless you Sue for being so kindhearted and loving your little dog so much, I guess her crying out is just like us going 'ouch' if we move too quickly when things are sore.
> 
> All will be well in a day or two and I know you did the best for both of you.!


Thank you Bouncer 



patnles said:


> Sue, you have definitely made the right and responsible decision to have little Candy spayed. I'm sure by this evening she will be feeling much better. It is a medical fact that spaying and neutering does prolong the life of a pet and does reduce the risk of serious health problems in later life.
> It may be the anasthetic that is causing Candy to cry out, it's not causing pain but it does have that effect. Usually it doesn't last long but it can last for 24hrs depending on the dog. My dog had a very long operation earlier this year which resulted in her having a lot of anasthetic. She was crying in her sleep and also snarling. She had a very large lump removed which had grown deep into the muscle. I had to make the decision whether to leave it or remove it so I felt very upset and guilty afterwards. She had had the lump for a year and it wasn't bothering her so we(vet and I) decided to leave well alone as she was 14 years old at the time. Eventually it grew so large it was compromising her mobility and as it was on her left shoulder and she already had arthritis in her left wrist I felt the lump was adding to her pain. On the night of her op I cried and wished I had not put her through it. She was very unwell for a week or so afterwards as she got an infection in the wound, but in the end it made such a big difference to her mobility and quality of life, I wished I'd had it done sooner.
> Anyway I just wanted to say, I know how your feeling, but I'm sure Candy
> will soon be back to normal and will have to be restrained , for fear of pulling her sutures
> ...


Thank you so much for your very reassuring post Lesley and I feel better and more positive already. I am sure you are rigth and I have made the right deciscion for Candy's future and when she is back to her old self I am sure I will be pleased she had it done. Just can't bear to hear her keep yelping and knowing I can't really help her.

I am so pleased to hear that Elsa is fit and well now and the bit about the air bed made me giggle. :lol:

Sue


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## Sonesta (May 10, 2005)

bandaid said:


> Also, please remember that dogs are just that, they're dogs, and do not rationalise like what we,( allegedly,) superior beings do. Its unlikely that Buster is acting on any more than an instinctual level, and in a couple of days, he'll take less notice of her, than my wife does of me....actually thats not possible.


Oh poor Bandaid!

I suggest you sit at your wife's feet, looking all doggy eyed at her whilst panting excitedly, offer her your hand, preferably with tongue hanging out and at the same time wag your booty cutely and affectionately at her! :lol: My guess is ............. she will melt like chocolate before your very eyes, will find you immensely irresistible and instantly becomes mere putty in your hands! :lol: :lol: :lol:

Thanks for the advice by the way! 

Sue


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