# The cremated husband



## tonyt (May 25, 2005)

This is a joke so don't complain if it's not to your taste. :lol: 


Mary recently lost her husband. She had him cremated and brought his ashes home.

Picking up the urn that he was in, she poured him out on the patio table..

Then, while tracing her fingers in the ashes, she started talking to him....

"You know that dishwasher you promised me? I bought it with the insurance money!"

She paused for a minute tracing her fingers in the ashes then said,
"Remember that car you promised me? Well, I also bought it with the insurance money!"

Again, she paused for a few minutes and while tracing her fingers in the ashes she said,
"Remember that diamond ring you promised me? Bought it too, with the insurance money!"

Finally, still tracing her fingers in the ashes, she said, "Remember that blow job I promised you?"

"Well. Here it comes."


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## aldra (Jul 2, 2009)

When I smoked I told the kids

When I'm gone I want you to keep my ashes in an urn

And feed me a cigarette an all feast days and holidays

That way I'll continue to grow in death :lol: 

I stopped smoking 20 odd years ago :lol: 

Haven't sorted out plan B yet :lol: :lol:  

Aldra


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## daffodil (Aug 7, 2014)

Maybe now its a PIPE DREAM Aldra :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:


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## aldra (Jul 2, 2009)

It is

I want my ashes to blow free on a mountain in the Lake District

I walked and loved them

The older I get the lower the mountain :lol: 

Still I've got 2sons and a son in law who are long distance road racers, a daughter in law who runs the fells in the lakes

It's looking promising :lol: 

Aldra


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## nicholsong (May 26, 2009)

aldra said:


> It is
> 
> I want my ashes to blow free on a mountain in the Lake District
> 
> ...


Sandra

So this sort of craziness RUNS in the family?

Geoff


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## 96299 (Sep 15, 2005)

tonyt said:


> This is a joke so don't complain if it's not to your taste. :lol:
> 
> Mary recently lost her husband. She had him cremated and brought his ashes home.
> 
> ...


Excellent - Loved it !! :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

Steve


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## Penquin (Oct 15, 2007)

Nice one as long as she doesn't copy Barryd on his leisure battery woes thread with "the pig", it is important to remember when to blow and when to suck.....


Dave :lol: :lol:


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## daffodil (Aug 7, 2014)

Was it on ASH wednesday by any chance?????? :lol: :lol: :lol:


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## nicholsong (May 26, 2009)

Penquin said:


> Nice one as long as she doesn't copy Barryd on his leisure battery woes thread with "the pig", it is important to remember when to blow and when to suck.....
> 
> Dave :lol: :lol:


Which of course brings us back to the perpetual as to why it is called a 'blow ...' and not ......


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## pippin (Nov 15, 2007)

What on earth are you talking about?!


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## GEMMY (Jun 19, 2006)

Nearly got inflated once :? 

tony


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## teemyob (Nov 22, 2005)

Pigs and Blow Jobs, now this forum is starting to suck.

TM


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## nicholsong (May 26, 2009)

pippin said:


> What on earth are you talking about?!


If that was sddressed to me I am confused as you 'liked' my post.

Geoff


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## daffodil (Aug 7, 2014)

Your all BLOWHARDS except pippin!who obviously is in denial at liking Nicholsongs blowjob  :wink: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:


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