# I wish women would think.



## coppo (May 27, 2009)

We have an old wooden porch door that is difficult to open.


We are both at work during the day and Caroline put a notice on the door as she was expecting a parcel.


''Stiff knob, pull hard to release''


I ask you, would you put a sign up saying that.


How embarrassing.


I soon took it down I can tell you.


Paul.


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## Spacerunner (Mar 18, 2006)

Honi soit qui mal y pense


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## Tezmcd (Aug 3, 2009)

coppo said:


> We have an old wooden porch door that is difficult to open.
> 
> We are both at work during the day and Caroline put a notice on the door as she was expecting a parcel.
> 
> ...


Only if I were standing on the porch at the time and the driver was female 
:kiss:


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## Mrplodd (Mar 4, 2008)

Somewhere I have a photograph I took in the Gents toilets at a local pub. It was of the front of a condom dispenser, there was a label affixed that read 

"Insert coins, pull knob fully out" 

Yes really! 

If I can find the piccy I will at it to this thread later. 

Andy


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## Jimblob44 (Oct 26, 2013)

Mrplodd said:


> Somewhere I have a photograph I took in the Gents toilets at a local pub. It was of the front of a condom dispenser, there was a label affixed that read
> 
> "Insert coins, pull knob fully out"
> 
> ...


There was a bar in Rothesay that had a condom machine in the gents (where else?), the thing was that every time someone used it a big light would flash above the bar and everyone would look to see who came out the loo next.0

Jim.


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## cabby (May 14, 2005)

She has my sympathies. you knob head.>> I am sure a delivery man has come across worse than that.

cabby


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## suedew (May 10, 2005)

Perhaps she hope it would prompt you to sort it out lol
Sue


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## nicholsong (May 26, 2009)

suedew said:


> Perhaps she hope it would prompt you to sort it out lol
> Sue


What? the door or the stiff knob? - maybe the latter should be her job to sort out:laugh:


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## tugboat (Sep 14, 2013)

nicholsong said:


> What? the door or the stiff knob? - maybe the latter should be her job to sort out:laugh:


He's probably afraid to ask, in case she tells him to do it himself.


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## jo662 (Jul 27, 2010)

Mrplodd said:


> Somewhere I have a photograph I took in the Gents toilets at a local pub. It was of the front of a condom dispenser, there was a label affixed that read
> 
> "Insert coins, pull knob fully out"
> 
> ...


What were you doing in the mens loos with a camera Andy?? :nerd:

Sorry couldnt resist!!:laugh:


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## nicholsong (May 26, 2009)

Jimblob44 said:


> There was a bar in Rothesay that had a condom machine in the gents (where else?), the thing was that every time someone used it a big light would flash above the bar and everyone would look to see who came out the loo next.0
> 
> Jim.


There was a similar one in the 'Tickell Arms' in Whittlesford near Cambridge.

In 1968 it was run by the eponymous Lord of the Manor - and his 'manager' Siegfried - I will leave you to work that out.

Apart from the condom machine link there were two other amusing tales connected with the Landlord:

At the time Prince Charles was studying at Cambridge and visited the pub; one customer started pointing in HRH's direction and was immediately thrown out with a loud "One does not point at Royalty"

The second story was that a drunken customer threatened him with a broken glass and was promptly dealt with with by Himself pulling the battle-mace he kept on the back wall of the bar and puncturing his neck. At the Magistrates Court his defence of Self-Defence was accepted.:wink2::laugh:

Geoff


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## tugboat (Sep 14, 2013)

Anyone misbehaving in the 'Tickell Arms' should expect a slap.


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## JanHank (Mar 29, 2015)

THANK YOU :crying: of laughter. 
Jan


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## cabby (May 14, 2005)

What is funny about that.

cabby


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## JanHank (Mar 29, 2015)

cabby said:


> What is funny about that.
> 
> cabby


 Not just THAT cabby, the whole lot, one laugh after the other, something I miss very much is the English humour, but now I have found you lot I get several a few laughs a day, thats why I say thank you. Only wish I could contribute more.
Jan.


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## tugboat (Sep 14, 2013)

Wait until we start on the naughty limericks, Jan.

That reminds me, it's time for a G&T to loosen me up and make me tight.

Hmm, might need to suggest a 'Limericks about forum members' thread in the Jokes section?


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## aldra (Jul 2, 2009)

We think

But with you lot not thinking

Except with your *****

And there are no brain cells in there 

Aldra


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## JLO (Sep 27, 2006)

I'm good at limericks especially ones me and my friend made up about
our husbands after I introduced her to Glayva and she liked it as much as me :grin2:>


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## JanHank (Mar 29, 2015)

JLO said:


> I'm good at limericks especially ones me and my friend made up about
> our husbands after I introduced her to Glayva and she liked it as much as me :grin2:>


Please excuse my ignorance, but what is Glayva,? or shouldn´t I really ask. 
I can´t find it in the dictionary.

Jan


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## nicholsong (May 26, 2009)

JanHank said:


> Please excuse my ignorance, but what is Glayva,? or shouldn´t I really ask.
> I can´t find it in the dictionary.
> 
> Jan


It is a brand name so not in the dictionary.

It is a Sottish whisky-based licqueur.

Geoff


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## JLO (Sep 27, 2006)

I'm not a whisky drinker I'm more of a G&t girl but I do like Glayva especially I. The winter, it warms right through to my toes


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## HermanHymer (Dec 5, 2008)

Similar to Drambuie, which also gives you a warm glow all the way through to the bottom! I could murder one right now, even though it's only teatime.


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## HermanHymer (Dec 5, 2008)

:laugh:


coppo said:


> We have an old wooden porch door that is difficult to open.
> 
> We are both at work during the day and Caroline put a notice on the door as she was expecting a parcel.
> 
> ...


Paul, I could take exception to that chauvinist comment. Women do think, but not with the small head. :grin2:>:surprise:

Reminds me of that famous British cricket commentary boob (made by a man incidentally!)

"The bowler's Holding, the batsman's Willey."


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## aldra (Jul 2, 2009)

Rubbish

I've been married for 50 years

I know everything
He knows everything

We are just trying to work out who knows the most everything

I think it will turn out to be the g,kids

They seem toknow everything

Aldra


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