# Important new element found



## Chrisv (Jun 10, 2007)

Personally I think this may apply to any Government we have this year.


Queens University researchers have discovered the heaviest element yet known to science. The new element, Governmentium (symbol=Gv), has one neutron, 25 assistant neutrons, 88 deputy neutrons, and 198 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312.


These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called pillocks. Since Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert. However, it can be detected, because it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact.



A tiny amount of Governmentium can cause a reaction that would normally take less than a second, to take from 4 days to 4 years to complete. Governmentium has a normal half-life of 2 to 6 years. It does not decay, but instead undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places.



In fact, Governmentium' s mass will actually increase over time, since each reorganization will cause more morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes. This characteristic of moron promotion leads some scientists to believe that Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a critical concentration.

This hypothetical quantity is referred to as critical morass. When catalyzed with money, Governmentium becomes Administratium (symbol=Ad), an element that radiates just as much energy as Governmentium, since it has half as many pillocks but twice as many morons.


Cheers
Chris


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## DTPCHEMICALS (Jul 24, 2006)

:lol: :lol: :lol:


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## Losos (Oct 28, 2009)

:lol: :lol: :lol: That does appeal to my sense of humour, of beg your pardon it's true innit :roll:


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## rogerandveronica (Aug 11, 2008)

I note that from a recent observation it seems that any void in the molecular structure of Governmentium is normally filled with a contaminant called Mandlesonium. 

This impurity has lubricating properties within the structure leading to an initial reduction of internal friction. However, a later massive increase in and a redistribution of the repulsive force between molecules known as "blame" has been observed. 

The degree of polish normally seen in Mandelsonium and its ability to reflect blame onto other Governmentium molecules is in defiance of current scientific reason. It is noted that recent observations have confirmed that Mandlesonium has the singular ability to always float to the top of any material in which is may be found regardless of the relative densities involved.

So powerful is this phenomenom that when observed in a two chamber system, Mandlesonium exhibits attributes held by elements in the upper chamber. 

It is perhaps due to the affinity of Mandlesonium for he fissures found in the crumbling top crust of the unstable element Governmentium that the mass of this element remains as an orderly structure. 

Further research into the changing nature of Governmentium is required to establish whether a gross metamorphosis will be witnessed.


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## Glandwr (Jun 12, 2006)

Chrisv said:


> Personally I think this may apply to any Government we have this year.
> 
> Queens University researchers have discovered the heaviest element yet known to science. The new element, Governmentium (symbol=Gv), has one neutron, 25 assistant neutrons, 88 deputy neutrons, and 198 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312.
> 
> ...


Remember you have a say. use it.

Dick


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## waggy3 (Jun 24, 2008)

*important new eliment found*

what brilliant minds some people have/
i remember the saying but not who said; 
i wish i was clever like you brian.

roy


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## bognormike (May 10, 2005)

wasn't that the minty python footballer sketch? "I just hit the ball and it went in, Brian" 8) :lol: 


and yes, excellent bit of research on the new element- worthy of a government grant


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## sallytrafic (Jan 17, 2006)

For the more scientific amongst us:

The heaviest element known to science was recently discovered by investigators at a major U.S. research university. The element, tentatively named administratium, has no protons or electrons and thus has an atomic number of 0. However, it does have one neutron, 125 assistant neutrons, 75 vice neutrons and 111 assistant vice neutrons, which gives it an atomic mass of 312. These 312 particles are held together by a force that involves the continuous exchange of meson-like particles called morons. 

Since it has no electrons, administratium is inert. However, it can be detected chemically as it impedes every reaction it comes in contact with. According to the discoverers, a minute amount of Administratium causes one reaction to take over four days to complete when it would have normally occurred in less than a second. 

Administratium has a normal half-life of approximately three years, at which time it does not decay, but instead undergoes a reorganization in which assistant neutrons, vice neutrons and assistant vice neutrons exchange places. Some studies have shown that the atomic mass actually increases after each reorganization. 

Research at other laboratories indicates that administratium occurs naturally in the atmosphere. It tends to concentrate at certain points such as government agencies, large corporations, and universities. It can usually be found in the newest, best appointed and best maintained buildings. 

Scientists point out that administratium is known to be toxic at any level of concentration and can easily destroy any productive reaction where it is allowed to accumulate. Attempts are being made to determine how administratium can be controlled to prevent irreversible damage, but results to date are not promising.

Note I think a similar version was floating around the civil service college in UK in about 1993


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## citroennut (May 16, 2005)

Glandwr said:


> Chrisv said:
> 
> 
> > Personally I think this may apply to any Government we have this year.
> ...


yup you've got a choice, as to which party will scr£w you the most :lol: 
simon


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## Chrisv (Jun 10, 2007)

Glandwr said:


> Chrisv said:
> 
> 
> > Personally I think this may apply to any Government we have this year.
> ...


I will have my say but will it make a difference?

Cheers
Chris


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