# Shattered



## aldra (Jul 2, 2009)

A bit to much wine

A houseful of people 

Well 14 

3 Chickens , salad, peas corn and chips, masses of chips , do they never stop eating them?

Dogs fed 

And shortly time for bed 

A good day, spent cooking etc 

The family around 

A noisy lot , but life around us, swamping us 

And now peace

Goodnight all

Sandra


----------



## HermanHymer (Dec 5, 2008)

Happy dreams!


----------



## nickoff (Oct 11, 2005)

Nighty nighty me duck.

Nick.


----------



## MEES (Apr 20, 2006)

Sleep well


----------



## GEMMY (Jun 19, 2006)

We went through all this a week or two back, if you won't take the advice given and prefer to be a drudge , so be it ........no sympathy any more,,,,,,,,,,,,,,you know what to do so stop complaining.


tony


----------



## MEES (Apr 20, 2006)

Odont think Sandra is complaining just sharing her contentment


----------



## GEMMY (Jun 19, 2006)

MEES said:


> Odont think Sandra is complaining just sharing her contentment [/QUOTE}
> 
> Contentment ? feeding the 40000 with 3 chickens and exhaustion..............I don't think so :wink2:
> 
> ...


----------



## Pudsey_Bear (Sep 25, 2008)

??? WTF Tony


----------



## greygit (Apr 15, 2007)

I think Tony has a point, shouldn’t your kids be pampering you a bit now Sandra?:smile2:


----------



## GEMMY (Jun 19, 2006)

greygit said:


> I think Tony has a point, shouldn't your kids be pampering you a bit now Sandra?:smile2:


For once the Git IS right. She says she's got aches and pains all over, but won't share the load, tell those freeloaders to get off their respective arses and do something to help

tony


----------



## aldra (Jul 2, 2009)

I always cook for the family during term time on a Friday 

Have done so for years, since retirement 

And no I wasn't complaining, I do it from choice

The aches and pains are there whether I cook or not, not because of it, it's a form of arthritis and now I have a rheumatologist to advise.

And I enjoy cooking 

The kids work all week and meet here on a Friday, those that can, the grandkids come from school, and eat and share their news 

My kids are not lazy they all work hard all week and care for their children

It was the two grandchildren that live here I was struggling with, since then having listened to people with teenage children and young adults of their own, I find they are totally normal after all!!!

Just me out of step on a day to day basis of living with the younger generation 

I think in this age of scattered families anything that brings families together can only be good, we don't sit on the outskirts of our family, we are immersed in the middle of it 

It just so happens it's a large family !!

Sandra


----------



## Pudsey_Bear (Sep 25, 2008)

Whilst I agree with Tony in part, the way he said it left a lot to be desired, But Sandra lives her life her way like it or not, as I'm sure we all do, what Tony said could have been moderated a tad, or sent via PM, if we all posted like that into threads, I'd be off somewhere else as it just isn't nice in any way, and not what I expect to find on THIS forum.


----------



## dghr272 (Jun 14, 2012)

Kev_n_Liz said:


> Whilst I agree with Tony in part, the way he said it left a lot to be desired, But Sandra lives her life her way like it or not, as I'm sure we all do, what Tony said could have been moderated a tad, or sent via PM, if we all posted like that into threads, I'd be off somewhere else as it just isn't nice in any way, and not what I expect to find on THIS forum.


Don't know where you've been Kev, Tony's response was true to form in being insensitive, rude, ignorant and totally uncalled for. Sadly I don't expect any less from him.

Terry


----------



## Pudsey_Bear (Sep 25, 2008)

dghr272 said:


> Don't know where you've been Kev, Tony's response was true to form in being insensitive, rude, ignorant and totally uncalled for. Sadly I don't expect any less from him.
> 
> Terry


Right here Terry, I won't comment on Tonys style here or elsewhere, I tend to treat people according to the way they last posted, I've had the odd minor skirmish with one or two on here, and possibly minutes later we've liked eachothers posts, life goes on, but lifes too short to think, oh well their last post is ****e so they all must be ****e, it's neither fair or even correct, we cannot always go by past behavior ( I hope not or I'm well fecked) I believe people are basically nice, but sometimes can be total arses, except those who write and re-write every post so they can never be criticised, goody two shoes types.

We are all entitled to be an arse some days, outside forces acting upon us, just so long as it isn't every day


----------



## aldra (Jul 2, 2009)

Tony is Tony, Terry 

And he knows I take all his comments with a large pinch of salt

As he prob takes mine

Otherwise We would have fallen out a long time ago

Which would be sad as I have no intention of falling out with him 

Sandra


----------



## JanHank (Mar 29, 2015)

I almost boiled a pot of spuds dry reading all this :frown2:


----------



## Pudsey_Bear (Sep 25, 2008)

Why are you boiling his spuds   sounds painful to me.


----------



## suedew (May 10, 2005)

I admire Sandra immensley, I am shattered after doing that once a year let alone once a week.
I am also a tad envious, she has her family close and is able to see them often, mine live a fair bit away see them all at Christmas and a few times during the year. Sorting out dates that suit everyone, or even one family can be traumatic. Not helped by birthdays of all being in either December/January or June all ahve our own commitments. My sons went to their gran's for tea every Friday when we lived in Scotland, not sure I would want to do it every week but do so wish I could do this with my own grandchildren.
So Sandra, carry on for as long as you can, know your family would pitch in if asked but for you it is a labour of love.
Hope living with the teenagers is a bit easier now you know they are 'normal' lol
Sue


----------



## Pudsey_Bear (Sep 25, 2008)

I'm not certain I would want to do it even if I could


----------



## aldra (Jul 2, 2009)

Each to their own Kev

14 isn't all of my immediate family, there is 23 of us, not all can come every Friday 

Sometimes work patterns or other arrangements mean some don't come , so it's a fluid arrangement 

But over a couple of weeks or so I see them all

And there is definately no requirement on them to come

They enjoy each other's company, a meal to end the working week when they are tired and looking forward to a weekends break

I had no family, being raised in children's homes ,and Alberts mum died when I was 23, so my kids didn't have grandparents and we had no one to help us raise them 

I'm determined my grandkids will have grandparents that know and love them

My kids will have parents that can help out in all sorts of problems, and celebrate their success 

That they can and want to talk too 

I also want that my family stay united to each other 

And yes the payback is that we are well loved by all of them, including in laws 

We're here to help and advise, especially Albert he's so good at that 

So maybe I'm a doormat, as I've been told 

But remember a doormat halts the mess at the door before its treaded any further 

And my professional colleagues may have called me many things 

And I guess they also saw me as a doormat 

I was great doormat :grin2::wink2:

Sandra


----------



## Pudsey_Bear (Sep 25, 2008)

aldra said:


> Each to their own Kev
> 
> 14 isn't all of my immediate family, there is 23 of us, not all can come every Friday
> 
> ...


I think perhaps you misunderstand me (or I you :roll I am not a family man, left home and never went back ASAP, Dad was a B, Mother not much better, I don;t like family gatherings much, go only to those I can't avoid, I prefer my own company, hence me not thinking I could do it your way ever, not to say I don't wish I could, it can be lonely sometimes not fitting in.


----------



## aldra (Jul 2, 2009)

GEMMY said:


> MEES said:
> 
> 
> > Odont think Sandra is complaining just sharing her contentment [/QUOTE}
> ...


----------



## aldra (Jul 2, 2009)

Kev_n_Liz said:


> I think perhaps you misunderstand me (or I you :roll I am not a family man, left home and never went back ASAP, Dad was a B, Mother not much better, I don;t like family gatherings much, go only to those I can't avoid, I prefer my own company, hence me not thinking I could do it your way ever, not to say I don't wish I could, it can be lonely sometimes not fitting in.


Kev

Idont know your family circumstances

I only talk about my kids, partners and grandkids when I talk of family gatherings

Weekly so no great surprises

I do have others of Alberts family and I enjoy their company too but they are occasional gatherings

Except for his younger brothers that I helped to bring up when his mum died even though I was very young

Actually from a person with no family in the world

I met my Albert

And the rest is history

Sandra


----------



## aldra (Jul 2, 2009)

Kev

Do you not have kids ?

No offence meant 

Just trying to understand 

You know me well, I'd never seek to upset just to understand

But only if you want to explain 

Other wise just ignore me 

Load do

Very wise in my opinion 

Sandra


----------



## barryd (May 9, 2008)

You crack on Sandra as I know you enjoy it. I think a lot myself included will be envious of such a family gathering. One of these days Im gonna turf up unannounced on a Friday to witness it for myself. 

Ive been to Sandras a few times as a few others have and once you have experienced it you will kind of understand. I think it defines to perfection the word "Home" that most of us can only aspire to. Some places you walk in and just feel unbelievably comfortable, accepted and welcome. Sandras place is one of them.

We dont have any family left hardly and the ones we do have we dont bother with much which is a shame but such is life. Having those you love most so close and in big numbers must be a wonderful thing.

Right! Thats bigged that up enough. See you Friday!! Get the Leffe in!


----------



## aldra (Jul 2, 2009)

Barry the leffe, is in and waiting 

Bought it on our last trip 

Unfortunately is the 9% one 

So ok I don't do beer 

Sandra


----------



## barryd (May 9, 2008)

Blimey Sandra! 9%. You would have to ration that!

I was almost over your way recently to a customer in Altrincham but I can sort most stuff out remotely really. Ill make an effort to bugger it up completely next time so I have to go.


----------



## patp (Apr 30, 2007)

Funny old world isn't it? Sandra growing up with no family and now loving having lots of family around. Chris and I grew up in a family (I'd like to say "loving" family but struggle with it) and avoid family gatherings whenever we can! Only had one child because we could not bear to inflict brothers and sisters on to her once she was here. I think it is because we were both left to our own devices as our parents worked. My mother didn't even take me to my first day at school Told my two brothers to take me. Of course they just ran off and left me all alone in the playground until a member of staff noticed me and took me inside. I wonder what those teachers thought?


I do envy close knit families, like yours Sandra, but not sure I could cope with all the gatherings.


----------



## Pudsey_Bear (Sep 25, 2008)

patp said:


> Funny old world isn't it? Sandra growing up with no family and now loving having lots of family around. Chris and I grew up in a family (I'd like to say "loving" family but struggle with it) and avoid family gatherings whenever we can! Only had one child because we could not bear to inflict brothers and sisters on to her once she was here. I think it is because we were both left to our own devices as our parents worked. My mother didn't even take me to my first day at school Told my two brothers to take me. Of course they just ran off and left me all alone in the playground until a member of staff noticed me and took me inside. I wonder what those teachers thought?
> 
> I do envy close knit families, like yours Sandra, but not sure I could cope with all the gatherings.


You have my deepest sympathy, some should have to pass a test and get a licence to reproduce, whilst having children is a natural thing, raising them isn't, a visit to any supermarket at school letting out time proves this, in the UK anyhoo.


----------



## MEES (Apr 20, 2006)

I started school in 1954 and my mum only took me once on the first day. When I transferred to junior school and later to the Grammar school I again went alone or with neighbours kids.
This was the norm in those days and I never felt unloved or badly treated.
I was the eldest and it was my responsibility to take the others when they were old enough.
My mum and dad were working hard to create a better life for us and we had our part to play in the family.
In turn I raised my family of four. I am very proud of them. My eldest son (45) has just spent 36 hours travelling from Hawaii to spend a weekend with us. We were Eleven adults and 6 kids sitting down to Sunday dinner  Fabulous !!
Son who lives in Stockholm would have been with us but he has a leg in plaster and couldn't fly .
Like Sandra we are shattered but happy 
In February we fly to Stockholm with two grandsons to spend a long weekend with Swedish grandsons.
In June we do a trip in motorhome to Lake Garda where they will all join us for two weeks.
We are truly blessed.
We still enjoy peace and rest together without them all !!
Margaret


----------



## aldra (Jul 2, 2009)

patp said:


> Funny old world isn't it? Sandra growing up with no family and now loving having lots of family around. Chris and I grew up in a family (I'd like to say "loving" family but struggle with it) and avoid family gatherings whenever we can! Only had one child because we could not bear to inflict brothers and sisters on to her once she was here. I think it is because we were both left to our own devices as our parents worked. My mother didn't even take me to my first day at school Told my two brothers to take me. Of course they just ran off and left me all alone in the playground until a member of staff noticed me and took me inside. I wonder what those teachers thought?
> 
> I do envy close knit families, like yours Sandra, but not sure I could cope with all the gatherings.


Ours are not gatherings Papt

It's hard to explain

They are just normal occurances in this house

They come and go

And the last lot have just gone:grin2:

The kids need to be back in time to go to bed for school in the morning

Just 8 of them , all fed, because the best times to relax is around food , to chat and leave with the feeling you want to come again

Lovely presents ,I'm innundated with Yankee candles and melts

I just absolutely love them so Im happy

So it's been open day

And all know I don't do late nights anymore

And small gatherings enable us to really enjoy and listen to those that come

The big ones enable them to enjoy each other

I just provide the food

Sandra


----------



## aldra (Jul 2, 2009)

And it's so hard to explain Margaret 

But you can be completely shattered by good things 

But I feel for patp and Kev

My childhood was rubbish, well you only need to look at the abuse of kids in care and I was one of those

I walked home from school staring into Windows at kids at home wishing it was me 

But it wasn't 

But I had school and I loved it , loved my English teacher and that love continued both ways until she died at 90 yrs old, and her love is still here with me

And then I had my Albert 

And6 kids

And it was a struggle

I had no blueprint of a mother, never had a clue, Alberts mum could have been my lifeline but she died when I was 23 

So I've brought them up, and our grandkids too , who feel free to come 

Not perfectly, but the best I could

Immersed them in bubble baths when they were upset

They missed out on hugs because I found that hard never having been hugged

Strange when now I love to hug anyone

So there you go 

You do the best you can in the circumstances

And hope you have an Albert by your side

As I think many of you do 

Sandra


----------



## HermanHymer (Dec 5, 2008)

aldra said:


> And it's so hard to explain Margaret
> 
> But you can be completely shattered by good things
> 
> ...


I agree wholeheartedy with what Barry says.

Sandra loves a hug (and so do I) but do it at your peril if Shadow is around. Glad you had a happy day Sandra!


----------



## Pudsey_Bear (Sep 25, 2008)

aldra said:


> And it's so hard to explain Margaret
> 
> But you can be completely shattered by good things
> 
> ...


I'm fine Sandra lass   but abuse in care, is not the same as from your parents, (still bloody awful for any child) but you are part of a group, in your own home you are very alone, it is a very dark place.

I don't really feel the need to dwell on it so I'm going to unsubscribe from this thread, as I've spent a long time trying to forget.


----------

