# Southern Softies - and the Scottish People



## KeithChesterfield (Mar 12, 2010)

As the daylignt hours grow shorter and the temperatures drop here is a guide to the differences between Southern Softies and the Scottish people.........

10°C
People in Southern England turn on the central heating
People in Edinburgh put out bedding plants

5°C
Southerners shiver uncontrollably
Glaswegians sunbathe on the beach at Largs

2°C
Cars in the South of England refuse to start
People in Falkirk drive with their windows down

-7°C
Southerners wear overcoats, gloves and woolly hats
Aberdonian men throw on a t-shirt; girls start wearing mini-skirts

-9°C
Southerners begin to evacuate to the continent
People from Dundee swim in the River Tay at Broughty Ferry

-18°C
Life in the South grinds to a halt
Inverness folk have the last BBQ before it gets cold

-25°C
Life in the South ceases to exist
People in Dunfermline throw on a light jacket

-60°C
Polar bears wonder if it's worth carrying on
Boy Scouts in Oban start wearing their long trousers

-80°C
Santa Claus abandons North Pole
People in Stirling put on their 'long johns'

-114°C
Alcohol freezes
Glaswegians get upset because all the pubs are shut

-183°C
Microbial life starts to disappear
The cows in Dumfriesshire complain about farmers with cold hands

-275°C
All atomic motion stops
Shetlanders stamp their feet and blow on their hands

-300°C
Hell freezes over
Scotland will support England in the World Cup.


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## StanDup (Sep 12, 2008)

"Where there's ney sense, theres ney feelin' " 
:lol:


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## WildThingsKev (Dec 29, 2009)

"-300°C 
Hell freezes over 
*Scotland will support England in the World Cup*".

Never going to happen - absolute zero is -273C


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## andyangyh (May 1, 2005)

WildThingsKev said:


> "-300°C
> Hell freezes over
> *Scotland will support England in the World Cup*".
> 
> Never going to happen - absolute zero is -273C


Never going to happen - we won't qualify for another World Cup.


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## grandadbaza (Jan 3, 2008)

Its not England anymore its 11" englishmen" and some foreign g-t manager


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