# New hobby?



## tugboat (Sep 14, 2013)

I just happened to see a body painting video on YouTube (came up on my recommended viewing for some reason!) and I thought "I could do that".

I already have a compressor so, if I get an airbrush kit from Machine Mart, and a few Dulux test pots, I'm thinking I could offer my services out to the local lasses.

What do you think?:laughing6:


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## ChrisandJohn (Feb 3, 2008)

tugboat said:


> I just happened to see a body painting video on YouTube (came up on my recommended viewing for some reason!) and I thought "I could do that".
> 
> I already have a compressor so, if I get an airbrush kit from Machine Mart, and a few Dulux test pots, I'm thinking I could offer my services out to the local lasses.
> 
> What do you think?:laughing6:


I think you were probably right when you reckoned you're not very successful with women. :laugh:

Chris


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## erneboy (Feb 8, 2007)

Go for it. What could possibly go wrong? Do keep us informed I like a good laugh.


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## tugboat (Sep 14, 2013)

ChrisandJohn said:


> I think you were probably right when you reckoned you're not very successful with women. :laugh:
> 
> Chris


:surprise: What do you mean? It's not my fault. I keep trying different women, what am I supposed to do? In fac, I'm trying all the time.


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## suedew (May 10, 2005)

Tuggers, just promise you wont try it out on Ellie or Sandra

Sue


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## tugboat (Sep 14, 2013)

Phwoar, Sandra getting body-painted? I'm having a hot flush just thinking about that.


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## vicdicdoc (May 14, 2005)

Buy a BIG tin of paint stripper too . . . (For those area's inadvertently painted . . .


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## jo662 (Jul 27, 2010)

You could do it on the sea front at Paignton!:grin2:


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## vicdicdoc (May 14, 2005)

jo662 said:


> You could do it on the sea front at Paignton!:grin2:


- or just go round spray painting Paignton . . . Be a 2nd generation Banksy - maybe in a couple of years people will rip down brick walls & keep them with your artwork on just like collecting Picasso's splodges.


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## jo662 (Jul 27, 2010)

vicdicdoc said:


> - or just go round spray painting Paignton . . . Be a 2nd generation Banksy - maybe in a couple of years people will rip down brick walls & keep them with your artwork on just like collecting Picasso's splodges.


Ha Ha Splodges reminds me of this!:grin2:


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## nicholsong (May 26, 2009)

Sort of reminds me of the old joke about what to take on Honeymoon - 

'A pot of green paint and a hammer'

If you don't know the joke, don't ask me.:frown2:


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## Pudsey_Bear (Sep 25, 2008)

nicholsong said:


> Sort of reminds me of the old joke about what to take on Honeymoon -
> 
> 'A pot of green paint and a hammer'
> 
> If you don't know the joke, don't ask me.:frown2:


I believe that a virgin testing kit is now available:

It comprises two small paint brushes, a pot of red paint, a pot of green paint and a hammer. On the wedding night, the groom paints one testicle red and the other green and then goes to his bride. 
If she shrieks "Cor blimey, I ain't never seen a pair like that", she is obviously not a virgin so you hit her on the head with the hammer!


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## suedew (May 10, 2005)

Poor lass might just have been an overworked nurse lol, and i'm almost sure looking at them doesnt make you lose your virginity, it's a bit far back for me to remember.


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## tugboat (Sep 14, 2013)

We sailors have to make sure we get red and green the right way round or we'd never live it down.


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## Pudsey_Bear (Sep 25, 2008)

tugboat said:


> We sailors have to make sure we get red and green the right way round or we'd never live it down.


I got it wrong a couple of years ago, we hired a boat to do the Caledonian canal, we hired a 4 berth, when we arrived it was broken so they gave us a damned great 8 berth, lesson was cruising up to the next lock and then left to fend for ourselves, Me driving of course :roll: Liz with two knackered knees doing the rope work (sort of) anyway we managed to just about cope, it was early season to get it cheaper, the cabin screen demisters were inoperable, so I had to do most of the driving from the fly bridge, and of course it persisted down heavily every minute of it day and night, on the last morning we had quite a way to go so got up and set of early, dog tired and I got the red/green the wrong way around and managed to go aground, no signal to get rescued, made a right old row on the bottom, but some workers across the loch realised what had happened and came with two bloody great ribs and pulled us off and back into the correct channel, wouldn't take a penny off us, star lads, we got the boat back, fueled it up, jumped in the Moho and buggered off a bit sharpish, or would have if the damned batter hadn't gone flat, so I had to go back and get them to give me jump, never again bored out of my tree for 3 days, and the stress was ridiculous, I think I'd have been fine on the boat we ordered, but this thing felt like the damned QE2 to someone who never piloted a boat before.

I've always wanted a small cruiser type, sort of camper size, and would get one if I won the lottery, but the red green thing could do with it being the same way round regardless of your direction of travel, as novices, they didn't tell us anything about it at all, we had to figure it out as we went.


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## tugboat (Sep 14, 2013)

You were in a canal, you daft old twot. Just stay in the middle. Doh.


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## Pudsey_Bear (Sep 25, 2008)

tugboat said:


> You were in a canal, you daft old twot. Just stay in the middle. Doh.


Loch bloody Ness is part of that canal you bloody oaf, as are a few other lochs, look it up.

I'm sure you made bigger cock ups, but not man enough to own up though, heh heh.:surprise::surprise:


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## tugboat (Sep 14, 2013)

Like I said, stay in the middle. Nothing to go aground on out in the middle. Unless you land on Nessie, of course. You're still a twot!


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## Pudsey_Bear (Sep 25, 2008)

tugboat said:


> Like I said, stay in the middle. Nothing to go aground on out in the middle. Unless you land on Nessie, of course. You're still a twot!


I is woundid now, bloody fat eared oaf, or are we a skinny oaf now? Going to have to stop being so nice to you, and sticking up for you against other heathens.


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## nicholsong (May 26, 2009)

tugboat said:


> Like I said, *stay in the middle. *Nothing to go aground on out in the middle. Unless you land on Nessie, of course. You're still a twot!


'Stay in the middle' - that's is not very professional advice:wink2:

How about training the twot trainee how to set the echo-sounder alarm properly and how to read a chart:wink2::laugh:


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## Pudsey_Bear (Sep 25, 2008)

nicholsong said:


> 'Stay in the middle' - that's is not very professional advice:wink2:
> 
> How about training the twot trainee how to set the echo-sounder alarm properly and how to read a chart:wink2::laugh:


You don't get any toys even a compass.


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## barryd (May 9, 2008)

Its alright saying stay in the middle Tugs until a flaming great fishing boat comes hammering around the corner at full chat. I found out the hard way when rowing the Caledonian canal for charity. To call it a canal is miss leading as most of it is big lochs and yes Loch Ness is one of them and its never ending. Ive never worn a life jacket since rowing up Loch Ness. My arse hurt that much I took it off and sat on it. I was miles from the shore anyway and figured if I fell out I would be dead within 10 minutes from the cold anyway.

Although I fail to see where you could have gone aground anywhere along there Kev FFS!  its just deep everywhere. I suspect you went the wrong side of a marker down a tributory or something. Maybe you tried to sail up the River Ness I dunno. 

I once went up all 5 of the staircase locks at Fort Augustus in a 40ft Princess on my own. We had just come down Loch Ness in a gale and it was chucking it down. Mrs D was in a right strop and refused to speak to me or do anything. The lock keeper said "Wheres your crew?". "Its downstairs pished off and its not coming out"  He just let me get on with it on my own which I preferred to be honest although two extra arms would have been helpful.


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## tugboat (Sep 14, 2013)

OK, for the pedants..........

When I said "stay in the middle" I meant 'stay in the middleISH', i.e stay away from the hard bits. It is clear that Kev is nautically challenged, probably colour blind, and doesn't know his left hand from his right at the best of times. He should have just let Liz drive, whilst he lounged gracefully in his silk pyjamas.

Whoever rented him a boat must have had the best insurance policy of all time. And a white stick.>


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## barryd (May 9, 2008)

Was this you Kev?


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## Pudsey_Bear (Sep 25, 2008)

tugboat said:


> OK, for the pedants..........
> 
> When I said "stay in the middle" I meant 'stay in the middleISH', i.e stay away from the hard bits. It is clear that Kev is nautically challenged, probably colour blind, and doesn't know his left hand from his right at the best of times. He should have just let Liz drive, whilst he lounged gracefully in his silk pyjamas.
> 
> Whoever rented him a boat must have had the best insurance policy of all time. And a white stick.>


Whilst the above may be partly true  

The lowest loch is actually quite shallow, 56.921732, -4.981825 it was a bit foggy, 6am so not that light, and I was at last 150 feet from the shore and could not even see a buoy let alone distinguish its colour.

And my right hand is the one you will feel in yer mush Popeye if we ever meet up, either that or me bloody white stick you purple git > >


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## tugboat (Sep 14, 2013)

kev_n_liz said:


> whilst the above may be partly true
> 
> the lowest loch is actually quite shallow, 56.921732, -4.981825 it was a bit foggy, 6am so not that light, and i was at last 150 feet from the shore and could not even see a buoy let alone distinguish its colour.
> 
> *and my right hand is the one you will feel in yer mush popeye if we ever meet up, either that or me bloody white stick you purple git > >*


*
*

pmsl!


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## barryd (May 9, 2008)

Kev_n_Liz said:


> Whilst the above may be partly true
> 
> The lowest loch is actually quite shallow, 56.921732, -4.981825 it was a bit foggy, 6am so not that light, and I was at last 150 feet from the shore and could not even see a buoy let alone distinguish its colour.
> 
> And my right hand is the one you will feel in yer mush Popeye if we ever meet up, either that or me bloody white stick you purple git > >


Thats Loch Lochy Kev, the thirdy deepest loch in Scotland.  nearly 500ft deep in places with an average depth of 230ft! Maybe you grounded on the monster. 

Another sea fairing (well inland waterway really) story for you. I nearly copped it on there. I set out at 6am from the start of the canal at the head of Loch linnhe near Fort William on my row in a little 11ft dinghy and hit Loch Lochy a couple of hours later. Gales were forecast through the night but it was calm when I set off and they hit while I was in the loch which has no roads around it or anyway to get out of the blooming thing. It was like the north sea. I literally surfed down the entire loch but was completely knackered as you had to row like buggery to keep stern on to the waves as a broadside would have been game over they were that steep and big. At least 20ft I reckon although they have grown a lot over the years. 

My backup crew which consisted of my father and my mate were still eating breakfast in the flipping camper van at Fort William.


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## Pudsey_Bear (Sep 25, 2008)

barryd said:


> Thats Loch Lochy Kev, the thirdy deepest loch in Scotland.  nearly 500ft deep in places with an average depth of 230ft! Maybe you grounded on the monster.
> 
> Another sea fairing (well inland waterway really) story for you. I nearly copped it on there. I set out at 6am from the start of the canal at the head of Loch linnhe near Fort William on my row in a little 11ft dinghy and hit Loch Lochy a couple of hours later. Gales were forecast through the night but it was calm when I set off and they hit while I was in the loch which has no roads around it or anyway to get out of the blooming thing. It was like the north sea. I literally surfed down the entire loch but was completely knackered as you had to row like buggery to keep stern on to the waves as a broadside would have been game over they were that steep and big. At least 20ft I reckon although they have grown a lot over the years.
> 
> My backup crew which consisted of my father and my mate were still eating breakfast in the flipping camper van at Fort William.


What happened to that bloke then > >


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