# Hymer vs. Swift



## barryd (May 9, 2008)

In a recent thread there was yet again an assumption by some Hymer owners that they are somehow superior. Both them and their vans!!! Well I want to get to the bottom of this. Most of the British van owners I have met along my travels seem to be quite happy with their Swift Vans although to be fair they tend to peter out not much further south than Calais for some reason. These Hymer folk seem to be everywhere.

At every opportunity they seem to want to tell you they have a Hymer. Oh! I'm just off in the Hymer. Or here is a picture of our "HYMER" in Spain. You don't hear swift owners going. Here is my "Swift" in Barcelona do you? Are Swift owners ashamed of their vans or are Hymer owner's just egotistical big heads who think they have joined some elitist club?

I mean owning a van with all that German engineering and reliability can't possibly give you a proper felling of camping or adventure. In a Swift your motorhoming on the edge! It's bound to leak and the wheels will drop off at least once when you least expect it. Never a dull moment in a Swift. Never a fear of condensation as there will be that many draughts and holes the air (and wind) just flows through!
Yet we Swift owners are happy people and love our vans. So come on you smug Hymer lot. What makes you and your vans so special? Huh!!

Just look at the pics. Look the same to me!

Swift









Hymer


----------



## GEMMY (Jun 19, 2006)

Not only a new van needed, new specs also.

Go on, you know you want to.

tony


----------



## 113016 (Jun 5, 2008)

barryd said:


> In a recent thread there was yet again an assumption by some Hymer owners that they are somehow superior. Both them and their vans!!! ]


Barry, are you trying to start World War Three :?: 
Of course Hymer are the best and I am :lol: 
I also talk crap :lol: but not all of the time :wink:


----------



## barryd (May 9, 2008)

See what I mean!! the two biggest big heads on the forum in like flint!! Come on Swift owners, fight back!! These hymer owners are making out they are better than you. Dont stand for it!!


----------



## 113016 (Jun 5, 2008)

barryd said:


> . Dont stand for it!!


Sit Down then :lol: better still, join Barry on the wacky stuff :lol:


----------



## GEMMY (Jun 19, 2006)

You won't start a fight, we know how superior we are, we don't need to prove it to the likes of you.

tony :wink:


----------



## richardjames (Feb 1, 2006)

Now, now children 8O 8O 8O


----------



## nicholsong (May 26, 2009)

You will not catch me bragging about owning a 'Hi I'm Here!' but I do go on my 'Knees Man (to the) Bischopf" for what I have. :roll: :lol:



P.S Forgot to do the Spellcheck :roll:


----------



## cronkle (May 1, 2005)

I know my place.


----------



## GEMMY (Jun 19, 2006)

Niesmann+Bischoff , A Hymer SUB brand. :lol: :lol: :lol: 

tony


----------



## Penquin (Oct 15, 2007)

I am sure that if we had had a Hymer we wuld not have had anything like as much fun as we have had reregistering in France....

If you wish to be filled with envy about the experience that we had and would love to see what you miss out on if you choose to drive anything other than a Kontiki then enjoy reading through this thread - it's not long as so many people were totally staggered by our amazing experiences......

http://www.motorhomefacts.com/ftopicp-1302840.html#1302840

If we had had a Hymer I am sure we would not have had anything like the experiences that we had......

Dave


----------



## nicholsong (May 26, 2009)

GEMMY said:


> Niesmann+Bischoff , A Hymer SUB brand. :lol: :lol: :lol:
> 
> tony


Different parentage, Dear Sir! :wink:


----------



## GEMMY (Jun 19, 2006)

That proves it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! end of story. :lol: :lol: :lol: 

tony


----------



## GEMMY (Jun 19, 2006)

Nicholsong:

Hymer AG is a motorhome and caravan manufacturer, located in Bad Waldsee, Germany. One of the largest manufacturers of motorhomes and caravans in Europe, the listed company Hymer AG owns the brands: Burstner; Carado; Eriba; Hymer; Laika; Niesmann + Bischoff; as well as camping equipment wholesale Movera.

As I said a SUB brand :lol: :lol: :lol: 

tony


----------



## valphil (Sep 5, 2012)

If a new Hymer is better than a new Swift , then a 93 Hymer would be better than a 93 Swift , just like to know where I stand in the pecking order , is a 93 Hymer as good as a new Swift , or do I only rate say a 2002 , opinions greatfully recieved ....Phil


----------



## Zebedee (Oct 3, 2007)

GEMMY said:


> Hymer AG owns the brands: Burstner; Carado; Eriba; Hymer; Laika; Niesmann + Bischoff; as well as camping equipment wholesale Movera.


No wonder they are all so useless - the company has its fingers in far too many rancid pies! :roll:


----------



## cronkle (May 1, 2005)

valphil said:


> If a new Hymer is better than a new Swift , then a 93 Hymer would be better than a 93 Swift , just like to know where I stand in the pecking order , is a 93 Hymer as good as a new Swift , or do I only rate say a 2002 , opinions greatfully recieved ....Phil


But I know my place.


----------



## bigtree (Feb 3, 2007)

Cherman versus British,who von der var?


----------



## GEMMY (Jun 19, 2006)

Zeb, the green eyes are glowing. :lol: :lol: :lol: 

tony


----------



## valphil (Sep 5, 2012)

cronkle said:


> valphil said:
> 
> 
> > If a new Hymer is better than a new Swift , then a 93 Hymer would be better than a 93 Swift , just like to know where I stand in the pecking order , is a 93 Hymer as good as a new Swift , or do I only rate say a 2002 , opinions greatfully recieved ....Phil
> ...


 why do you keep bringing fish into it ?


----------



## GEMMY (Jun 19, 2006)

Bigtree, whilst a bit off topic, we were too busy celebrating in the pub while they were out there rebuilding :wink: 

tony


----------



## Zebedee (Oct 3, 2007)

GEMMY said:


> Zeb, the green eyes are glowing. :lol: :lol: :lol:
> tony


Bloodshot Tony, from reading all this crap you are spouting about an inferior foreign product - put together by _*foreigners*_!! _(Clutches chest and tries to breathe deeply!)_

Have you no shame at all!!


----------



## valphil (Sep 5, 2012)

my Hymer is that old its had many new parts ....so you could say it was put together in britain


----------



## GEMMY (Jun 19, 2006)

None. :lol: :lol: :lol: 

I just notice the ****e stirrer of all this nonsense has gone to bed. :roll:

tony


----------



## slippers (Mar 12, 2009)

*Snobs, harumph*

As an ex owner of a VW Holdsworth T4 we toured europe and Rutland with an air of superiority, righty so, we were superior, we could stradle europe in a small van and park on any morrisons car park.
As a result of deciding to banner off long term dear old Dora had to go, I needed a new form of snobish behaviour, so.

Hymer E510

Not any old Hymer but one even Hymer owners havent heard of, (obscure is cool dontcha know)

We are so looking forward to nodding patronisingly to all other van owners, "ah we have an E510" and leaving it at that.

Envy all round, "what is this van they think"

Then they see good old Bumble, cuts, bruises, arthritis, shoes in need of re-soleing. a tad incontinent,

BUT

its a HYMER E510

love of our life.

Mr Slip x


----------



## 113016 (Jun 5, 2008)

GEMMY said:


> None. :lol: :lol: :lol:
> 
> I just notice the [email protected]~& stirrer of all this nonsense has gone to bed. :roll:
> 
> tony


No , he's drowning his sorrows as he hasn't got a Hymer :lol:


----------



## Zebedee (Oct 3, 2007)

GEMMY said:


> I just notice the [email protected]~& stirrer of all this nonsense has gone to bed. :roll: tony


Nonsense indeed Tony . . . this is serious stuff.

Just hang on a minute while I pop out to the Autosleeper so I can quote impressive facts from the handbook . . . which is written in Spanish! :lol:

True. Obviously so reliable it doesn't matter what language the handbook is in - it will never be needed. :roll:


----------



## barryd (May 9, 2008)

GEMMY said:


> None. :lol: :lol: :lol:
> 
> I just notice the [email protected]~& stirrer of all this nonsense has gone to bed. :roll:
> 
> tony


Ah Haaa HA! me? Gone to bed! You must be joking. Have you not noticed that when you lot get tucked in with your ovalteen I creep around meddling with your threads! Iv just had an hour or so out waking up the neighbours with me guitar.

I notice that Swift owners are thin on the ground. Thats because they are nice sensitive people. Not wanting to show off like you lot with your German rubbish. Either that or they have broken down on the way home and are too thick to have a wifi antenna to log on and defend themselves!


----------



## GEMMY (Jun 19, 2006)

They're just too ashamed. :lol: :lol: :lol: 

tony


----------



## Zebedee (Oct 3, 2007)

Or they can't type for the tears of laughter (and sympathy) in their eyes! :lol: :lol:


----------



## 113016 (Jun 5, 2008)

At least Barry put the original question (thread title) in order of merit  
Me thinks he knows the answer :lol:


----------



## 747 (Oct 2, 2009)

I will try to remain neutral. Even though I have one of those vastly superior German machines.

It depends on how you use your vehicle. If you want to park in a car park at 10,000 feet above sea level in the Bavarian Alps then don't buy a Swift product. It will never get up the hills but if it did, it would only be because half the parts had fell off, thereby making it lighter and more aerodynamic.

However, nearly all buyers of British made vans are not very bright. They buy a Swift because they head South every Winter and don't return until Spring. Well, with all the breakdowns, it is bound to take months to go to Brighton and back again.

Hope that helps.


----------



## Zebedee (Oct 3, 2007)

You reckon you are smart 747 . . . . . . and yet you live in Gateshead!! 8O 8O :lol: :lol:


----------



## 747 (Oct 2, 2009)

Zebedee said:


> You reckon you are smart 747 . . . . . . and you live in Gateshead!! 8O 8O :lol: :lol:


Somebody has to Dave


----------



## Zebedee (Oct 3, 2007)

747 said:


> Zebedee said:
> 
> 
> > You reckon you are smart 747 . . . . . . and you live in Gateshead!! 8O 8O :lol: :lol:
> ...


Well I call it dashed decent of you.

Not too embarrassing to park your Hymer there I guess. People would hardly notice it among all the other dross! :lol: :lol:

Dave
.

.

.

.

.

.

_(Must confess I love Gateshead, but don't tell 747.)_


----------



## slippers (Mar 12, 2009)

Loved it when Wikipeia was hacked...

"Gateshead"
"not a good idea"

mr slip


----------



## 747 (Oct 2, 2009)

You have proved my point Dave (about owners of British vans being dim). Look at the writing below the Gnome. The bit that says 'Burstner'. :lol: 

ps, my other van is a Hymer.  (been wanting to get a sticker made up like that for ages). :wink:


----------



## valphil (Sep 5, 2012)

used to go passed Gateshead on the A1 in my truck every Weds on the way up to Scotland, then back friday , looked alright to me , mind it was 3 am


----------



## barryd (May 9, 2008)

*!*



747 said:


> I will try to remain neutral. Even though I have one of those vastly superior German machines.
> 
> It depends on how you use your vehicle. If you want to park in a car park at 10,000 feet above sea level in the Bavarian Alps then don't buy a Swift product. It will never get up the hills but if it did, it would only be because half the parts had fell off, thereby making it lighter and more aerodynamic.
> 
> ...


Actually I don't think there are any roads or car parks in the Bavarian Alps at 10000ft but the highest pass in Europe which is the Col de Bonette IS 10000ft and our crappy swift has been over. 

Granted it set on fire on the way down but thats my point! Your Hyner may make it down in one piece but they are too busy polishing them before claiming their place along the river front of some Stellplatz on the Mosel where they collaborate and Shmooze with their new German Friends! Or worse. Belgian Friends!! BAH!


----------



## 113016 (Jun 5, 2008)

Ah Barry, you forgot to say that when you come down the mountain, in your leaky kontiki, it lets the water that has come in thorough the holes in roof, run out like a river.
It does make the road conditions a little treacherous during freezing conditions  
It does have an advantage during the summer  The water that has collected, will cool the tarmac down and stop it melting :lol: 
have you ever used it to row your rubber duck :lol:


----------



## peaky (Jul 15, 2009)

my first van was an old bustner, does that mean i nearly owned a hymer ???


----------



## 113016 (Jun 5, 2008)

peaky said:


> my first van was an old bustner, does that mean i nearly owned a hymer ???


Been unbiased, I could say "nearly man /woman" or you had a luck escape :lol: :


----------



## eddievanbitz (May 1, 2005)

Well we did smile last year. A customer reversed his brand new Niesmann Bischoff into the front of a brand new Bessacar. It caught it at such an angle that it took the entire end cap off.

There was a minor scratch on the plastic bumper of the Bessacar 

Neither customers could believe the damage to their respective Motorhomes.

I have no opinion on Germany V British as I buy American

Eddie


----------



## drcotts (Feb 23, 2006)

Ironically I own a swift based van (autocruise) and I am thinking about changing to a.....


----------



## GROUNDHOG (Mar 7, 2006)

I already have a German van, well the bottom bit is German and the top bit is British..... guess which bit dropped all its water over the road with just sixty miles on the clock......mind you it has been bl**dy brilliant since!!

Hymer superior, you must be having a giraffe..... :roll:


----------



## erneboy (Feb 8, 2007)

I'm just off out to wash the Frankia.

That's the first time I've ever said that and it sounds weird to me, as though throwing the brand in could only by way of boasting, why else mention it? Always assuming owing one is something to boast about.

No. I am off out to wash the van sounds better to me. I will stick with that.

I have often noticed that many Hymer owners seem to manage to get the brand name into conversation and thread titles.

I have been collecting examples because I thought this topic would come up again, Alan.


Hymer tyre choice, Hymer gearbox needed, Hymer fuel consumption, Hymer engine, Oil choice for Hymer, Hymer suspension.

The above aren't actual examples. I can't find my collection. But I willing to bet we have seen or will see all of the above at some time.


----------



## 113016 (Jun 5, 2008)

I am with you on this Alan, I usually refer to ours as The Van, it just rolls off the tongue. I have a few times fallen into the trap of saying Hymer, but that is when I want to make a point or it is relevant. (I hope)  
Just as well we don't have a proper van at home, or we wouldn't know which one we were talking about :lol:


----------



## barryd (May 9, 2008)

erneboy said:


> I'm just off out to wash the Frankia.
> 
> That's the first time I've ever said that and it sounds weird to me, as though throwing the brand in could only by way of boasting, why else mention it? Always assuming owing one is something to boast about.
> 
> ...


Exactly Alan!! Your far too cool to own a Hymer anyway.

Bet they dont do it anymore now!!


----------



## erneboy (Feb 8, 2007)

Oh, they will Barry. This topic crops up regularly, Alan.


----------



## Zebedee (Oct 3, 2007)

Wonder if any of the eejits know how to prnounce the word??

Bet most of them don't - all the ones I've heard posing say "_High-mer_".

Dave :lol: :lol: :lol:


----------



## 113016 (Jun 5, 2008)

I must get a Humer sticker for the Guitar :lol: although depending where you are it could be Himer :lol:


----------



## Zebedee (Oct 3, 2007)

Grath said:


> I must get a Humer sticker for the Guitar :lol: although depending where you are it could be Himer :lol:


My point exactly Graham.

Posing in the UK it will be Himer every time! :lol: :lol:


----------



## 113016 (Jun 5, 2008)

Zebedee said:


> Grath said:
> 
> 
> > I must get a Humer sticker for the Guitar :lol: although depending where you are it could be Himer :lol:
> ...


Heard it all ways, even by Germans!, although not the first version.
Hi mer
Him er
Humer

Still sound better than leaky Kontiki, shu where is Barry
Maybe it could be Vaner :lol:


----------



## Zebedee (Oct 3, 2007)

Grath said:


> Heard it all ways, even by Germans!


So the bloody Germans are posers too are they?

I thought they would have the sense to buy foreign vans (_like some of us do!_ :roll: ) so they could bang on about The Ottoslipper or The Sveeft!

:lol: :lol:


----------



## erneboy (Feb 8, 2007)

Aaoou-totrail. Looo-na.


----------



## 747 (Oct 2, 2009)

Do you have a Swift product?

Have all your friends deserted you?

Do you look enviously at Hymers?

Worry no more, Gnomish Limited (in collaboration with B D Global Intergalactic Enterprises Inc.) have come up with the solution to all your woes. 

We can now offer genuine Chinese made Hymer decals for your vehicle. Simply remove all trace of the Swift product decals and fit the Hymer ones. This will greatly improve the chances off offloading your van to some unsuspecting nitwit.

This has already proved a winner with Elddis vans, their resale value shot up by 50%.

Gnomish Limited are a Fairtrade Company (don't know about the other one though).


----------



## 113016 (Jun 5, 2008)

747 said:


> Do you have a Swift product?
> 
> Have all your friends deserted you?
> 
> ...


So, in conclusion, this whole thread is a marketing ploy by the Gnomish and Fairy Trade Company in collaboration with The Fruitcake web site  :lol: 
I wonder if Nuke knows you are advertising here


----------



## 747 (Oct 2, 2009)

Couldn't fool you though Graham?

It's a pity that you had to speak out. We will have to send the skinhead Gnomes round to your house now. :twisted: 

Been nice knowing you. 8)


----------



## 113016 (Jun 5, 2008)

Better tell them to put their ear muffs on as I might be screwing the cat  or playing the guitar  not much difference in sound :lol: 
All the neighbours have emigrated 
Anyway, I have my little garden bunny wabbits on sentry duty :evil:


----------



## Roadhogg (Oct 6, 2012)

Not getting too involved in this as we are going to Germany for the hols this year, but Hank the Panzer does not have the same ring to it.


----------



## jonse (Nov 2, 2008)

*Hymer vesus the rest*

Erneboy you forgot to mention cracked shower Trays and sinks


----------



## barryd (May 9, 2008)

Grath said:


> 747 said:
> 
> 
> > Do you have a Swift product?
> ...


The Hymer decals will be available online to order on Fruitcakes soon!

As for Nuke. Have you not wondered why you havent heard from him for a while. :twisted:

There is a new Sherif in town and he's a fruitcake! (and a gnome)


----------



## erneboy (Feb 8, 2007)

*Re: Hymer vesus the rest*



jonse said:


> Erneboy you forgot to mention cracked shower Trays and sinks


Well, yes but in those cases it's necessary to mention the make and model of the conversion if they are hoping to find replacements.

The annoying thing is when a poster describes their van as a Hymer and then goes on to ask a question about the base vehicle without even having told us what the base vehicle is.

Under those circumstances they have managed to get the precious word Hymer into their thread and not given any information at all which might give a clue as to what it is that they actually need help with, Alan.


----------



## 113016 (Jun 5, 2008)

Alan, you have just twice, mentioned the word which we will not say  :lol:


----------



## GROUNDHOG (Mar 7, 2006)

Aren't 90% of them based on the agricultural ducatto and of course they are all dog ugly. Ever noticed you rarely get a wave from one so I think a ban on waving at them is also called for.

I am sure BarryD will suggest going even further.... :wink:


----------



## Zebedee (Oct 3, 2007)

GROUNDHOG said:


> Ever noticed you rarely get a wave from one so I think a ban on waving at them is also called for.


Wouldn't it be more effective to use a different wave? :twisted: :twisted:

The twin digits of derision perhaps? :lol: :lol:


----------



## GROUNDHOG (Mar 7, 2006)

Thanks Zebedee - I didn;t want to suggest it but as you have ..... :twisted:


----------



## 113016 (Jun 5, 2008)

Now, that is getting nasty  but what else could one expect from inferior M/H owners, with a complex  :lol: :lol: :lol:


----------



## Zebedee (Oct 3, 2007)

Grath said:


> Now, that is getting nasty  but what else could one expect from inferior M/H owners, with a complex  :lol: :lol: :lol:


Not at all.

It simply signals to the Humer owner that he had two choices when he bought his van . . . and made the wrong one! 8O :lol: :lol:


----------



## 113016 (Jun 5, 2008)

Zebedee said:


> Grath said:
> 
> 
> > Now, that is getting nasty  but what else could one expect from inferior M/H owners, with a complex  :lol: :lol: :lol:
> ...


Or it could mean, you have just been picking your nose and you are flicking the bogies off :lol: 
I think I will think of it that way 8)


----------



## Zebedee (Oct 3, 2007)

Grath said:


> Or it could mean, you have just been picking your nose and you are flicking the bogies off :lol:


No worries Graham!

Even I would not be so cruel as to aim them at you! :lol: :lol:


----------



## 113016 (Jun 5, 2008)

Personally, if I had an inferior M/H. I would be thinking of using it to stick the falling off parts back on :lol: :lol:


----------



## barryd (May 9, 2008)

Groundhog wrote: " am sure BarryD will suggest going even further...."

As well as the stick on hymer decals I'm thinking of marketing some automatic waving devices one for "nice" normal motorhomers and one for Hymer owners. More later.


----------



## nicholsong (May 26, 2009)

barryd said:


> Groundhog wrote: " am sure BarryD will suggest going even further...."
> 
> As well as the stick on hymer decals I'm thinking of marketing some automatic waving devices one for "nice" normal motorhomers and one for Hymer owners. More later.


Barry

You could double your sales by marketing a pair - one for the front window and another for the rear window, for the MH you have just passed.

Then there are the optional extras

Swivelling bracket to allow use on UK or Continental roads, which could be manual for the forward-facing device or electrically controlled for the rear one. An enhanced version could have an adjustment for it too be aimed at the Driver or Co-pilot

I personally find it difficult to distinguish, at 600m and a closing speed of near 200kph, between a MH, White Van and 16-seat minibuses, so maybe you could market a drone-mounted seeker flying ahead to assist. Of course this would have up-front costs, in addition to the equipment, of paying for a training course for the operator at USAF ...... (Can't mention the name or the CIA men will be round)

Also, if the co-pilot cannot be trained to operate the drone, or is too busy arguing about the discrepancy in navigation between the satnav and map, then a 'weapons operator' may need to be carried - affecting payload.

Barry, I wish you luck with this enterprising adventure - the UK needs more of this spirit (or Leffe)

Geoff

P.S Can I have the Eastern European agency for allyour products?


----------



## barryd (May 9, 2008)

There you go. Now we can all be in the club (for a small fee)

https://sites.google.com/site/motorhomefruitcakes/decals-and-fun-accessories

Sorry Geoff. Fruitcakes is already a global concern. I had an order for some Hymer Decals for a Sherpa Van in Azerbaijan just this morning.

Like the drone idea although not for the use you mentioned. Must talk to bigcats about some of them.


----------



## 113016 (Jun 5, 2008)

Hey Barry, you are selling then too cheap  
Hymer decals will double the part exchange price, these vans will get.
Are you going to sell some Swift decals so us Hymer owners can go and park in let me put it nicely, err a rough area, without the residents chucking bricks at our pride and joy  
However, we do need easily removable ones, maybe magnetised, so we can still park in our leafy snobby suburbs, without the neighbours calling the vigilante patrol :lol: 
Maybe some dirty black wheel trims to hide the expensive alloy wheels :wink:


----------



## teal (Feb 23, 2009)

Had a Hymer 544 and parked on beachside road, a young boy and his mother walked by and I heard the boy say to mum "can we get one like that", mother replied "no you have to be rich".


----------



## Rapide561 (Oct 1, 2005)

*Barry*

Barry, that's a great opening post with pics.

I like German vans, I have looked at several but never bought one. I have a Swift, I like the full oven, I like the lounge, don't want a fixed dinette etc..... It's all about choice I guess.

I don't refer to mine as a Swift or a motorhome, usually it is "where we going in the van?"

Russell


----------



## Zebedee (Oct 3, 2007)

teal said:


> Had a Hymer 544 and parked on beachside road, a young boy and his mother walked by and I heard the boy say to mum "can we get one like that", mother replied "no you have to be rich".


You sure he hadn't spotted someone with a Cadbury's Flake stuck in their ice cream? :lol: :lol:


----------



## blackbirdbiker (Mar 12, 2007)

What is a Swift :roll: is it a motorhome or somefink :lol: 
Keith


----------



## Zebedee (Oct 3, 2007)

blackbirdbiker said:


> What is a Swift :roll: is it a motorhome or somefink :lol: Keith


Just shows how dim Hymer owners are! :roll:

Every Swift owner can recognise a Hymer at 40 paces . . . while there's still time to avoid being seen too near the ghastly object! 

Dave :lol: :lol: :lol:


----------



## 113016 (Jun 5, 2008)

Swifts, in hiding :lol: Too embarrassed to be seen :lol:

http://www.uer.ca/forum_showthread.asp?fid=3&threadid=100826


----------

