# Dementia, the NHS and Social Services tale



## Brock (Jun 14, 2005)

We hear much of the NHS's problems and the failures of the Social Services. Here's the tale of my mum so you can draw your own conclusion based on her experience.

My 92 year old mum lived independently until October last year when we noticed a sudden and marked decline in her mental faculties. The doctor was summoned from the local practice. He confirmed our fears and arranged for specific tests to be carried out.

Before the tests could be concluded my mum had a heart attack about 2am on January 2nd. She managed to call the ambulance and get dressed. Ambulance arrived within ten minutes and whisked Mum to hospital followed by my sister. The hospital was in Greater Manchester, my mother lived in Derbyshire. The hospital had one of the worst records for seeing A&E patients over the New Year.

My Mum had steadfastly refused to give any of her family control over her health & well-being. Therefore, with Mum classed as unfit to make decisions, Derbyshire Social Services took control and made all subsequent decisions, not Mum or the family. The Social Worker was temporary cover for maternity leave and worked part time.

Mum was moved to a Nursing Home in Derbyshire and two weeks later had a second heart attack. Back to hospital. Once recovered, the medics decided they could do no more for her so said discharge. The physio refused and Mum stayed another week to build her strength before she was released with agreement of all.

The day after returning to the Nursing Home, the staff noticed severe bruising on Mum's wrist so back to the hospital for X-rays. No broken wrist but it seems she'd had her third heart attack. We thought this was the end as her heart rate was below 40% of normal. We had agreed no resuscitation. She pulled through and back to the Nursing Home.

The local doctor, the hospital, the ambulance crews, the Nursing Home, and the Social Worker have all been outstanding. Their total focus has been on working together, across local Government and organisational boundaries, and getting my mother as well as can be and living as normal a life as she can. As a family, we had regular contact and consultation so we are delighted. It has been an absolute eye opener, having constantly read of doom and gloom, to see such professionals working together for the benefit of my Mum. The Nursing Home is within her home town and easily accessible to all family.

Mum is now 93. She is eating, drinking and sleeping well in the Nursing Home. She retains a sense of humour and a twinkle. She lacks mobility, all her memories have gone unless we manage to awaken one. She has a look of absolute peace. Every day and every event is now new to her so she is childlike in the joy life brings. And an hour later, she can enjoy exactly the same thing if it is repeated. Visits often involve repeating conversations as though they are new! Dementia is horrible and to see someone suffer is not nice. Yet to see someone so at peace is beautiful.

The NHS, Social Services et al have their problems. I'm not daft enough to think they don't. However, for my Mum they got it spot one and would you ask for anything else?


----------



## Revise (May 13, 2012)

Brings back memories of my nan. Refused to go into a nursing home when she was about 85 as they were "full of old people"
Unfortunately she fell when a gust of wind took her brolly and she refused to let go. She broke her hip and things went downhill from there.
She had to go into a nursing home and she said"Why had we not put her in here years ago? Everybody knows the words to the songs I sing and we all talk about the same things" 

She spent her last few years with people she could associate with (all in there 90's and enjoyed every minute of it) Sadly she also started with dementia but when you talked to her, you could see her eyes light up even though we had had the same conversation 30 minutes earlier. I know dementia is a horrible thing and I would not wish it on anyone. But in my nans case. She could still remember all the important things to her, such as my grandad and when she was married. but could not remember what happened 30 minutes ago. 

God bless you nan. Always in my thoughts and I hope you liked the flowers we brought you last week for you and grandad.:crying::crying::crying:


----------



## Pudsey_Bear (Sep 25, 2008)

What lovely posts, not sure what my future holds, but I'm not the sharpest knife in the box, concentration seems to be getting worse as the years pass, had a terrible memory since childhood, but I sort of feel better for reading those posts, maybe losing my marbles isn't the worse thing that can happen.

Thank you


----------



## Phil42 (Apr 4, 2006)

It's always lovely to read positive stories about dementia.

Sadly, there are many, many people whose experiences are quite different. Fir anyone with an interest in the subject I recommend the Alzheimer's Society's 'Talking Point' forum. You don't have to join to read it.

Phil


----------



## Brock (Jun 14, 2005)

Phil, you are right about the support from the Alzheimer's Society. We made extensive use of their factsheet on 'Communicating' and the one for 'Carers - looking after yourself'. There is a mountain of information from AS broken down into topics, For each one, there is a clear guide. They really helped us understand what was going on. We've been able to share that knowledge and source with others.

It is also strange that Tesco is living up to its promises, "Every Little Helps" because three of us have Hudl2s which enable us to show Mum photographs. These jog her memory and create conversations with Mum for us and the Care Officers.


----------



## Glandwr (Jun 12, 2006)

A lovely post but there is the sad side too thank you. It is also a reminder that our biggest draw on our health services is in our last years 

Dick


----------



## Wilmannie (Feb 7, 2010)

Brock, It's sad but heartwarming to read your posts! 
What Mum could ask for more than the love and care and concern of her family in her latter years? 
And the high standard of care given her by the embattled NHS is a reminder that this service is still run by dedicated professionals doing their utmost to meet our needs in times of overstretched resources.
Thank you for sharing. I hope your Mother continues to receive the excellent care she deserves.
As Dick says, our biggest draw on our health services is in our latter years and for the most part this is what we have contributed towards during a working life of perhaps 50 years. 
I'm so glad that we still have this service. Let's keep it in good health!


----------



## Pudsey_Bear (Sep 25, 2008)

The health service in this country is fine, it's the endless government cuts which are wrong, we cannot continue like this, we also cannot continue to keep giving it away free to foreign nationals, insurance companies should pay for treatment of incident victims, what happened to charging for RTC ambulance attendance, A&E could be sponsored by businesses, there are so many ways for money to be earned to make it better again, but it will take political will, and for that we need a government with a conscience and common sense, neither or which have been seen for a very long time.

I'm sorry if anyone consider this post off topic, I think it's relevant.


----------



## shingi (Apr 18, 2008)

My dad had Alzheimers and when aged 90 the time came for him to go into a care home as my 90 year old Mother could just not cope any more there was nothing but help and understanding from both his doctor and social services. The care home in London he went into was just great and although sadly he passed away at the end of April I have nothing but praise for all those who gave us and him help. In the last few years of his life he had had prostate problems, both cataracts done plus visits to the Memory Clinic and the level of care he received always impressed me. Nowadays I am taking Mum for various appointments here and there and we simply have no cause for complaint. Perhaps we are lucky and these are busy North London hospitals and doctors surgery but my own impression and experience of the NHS is very positive. I hope that when I get to their age I will be just as fortunate as they have been.


----------

