# What do you think of cyclists on public roads



## Pudsey_Bear (Sep 25, 2008)

That got your attention now here's a joke a friend just emailed to me.

The Indian With One Testicle

There once was an Indian who had only one testicle and whose given name was 'Onestone'.

He hated that name and asked everyone not to call him Onestone.

After years and years of torment, Onestone finally cracked and said,' If anyone calls me Onestone again I will kill them!'

The word got around and nobody called him that any more.

Then one day a young woman named Blue Bird forgot and said, 'Good morning, Onestone.'

He jumped up, grabbed her and took her deep into the forest where he made love to her all day and all night. He made love to her all the next day, until Blue Bird died from exhaustion.

The word got around that Onestone meant what he promised he would do.

Years went by and no one dared call him by his given name until A woman named Yellow Bird returned to the village after being away.

Yellow Bird , who was Blue Bird's cousin, was overjoyed when she saw Onestone. She hugged him and said, 'Good to see you, Onestone.'

Onestone grabbed her, took her deep into the forest, then he made love to her all day, made love to her all night, made love to her all the next day, made love to her all the next night, but Yellow Bird wouldn't die!

Why ???

OH, come on... take a guess !!!

Think about it !!!

You're going to love this !!!

Everyone knows...

You can't kill Two Birds

with OneStone!!!


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## DTPCHEMICALS (Jul 24, 2006)

Hi Kev, whats that got to do with bikes and roads.

dave p :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:


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## Techno100 (May 8, 2010)

Wait till I get home for the farmer and sheep joke, it's worth the wait: -)


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## DTPCHEMICALS (Jul 24, 2006)

Are you on a bike and does the joke involve kissing and wellies.


dave p


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## Techno100 (May 8, 2010)

No but lots of sex lol


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## Techno100 (May 8, 2010)

*A man buys several sheep*

A man buys several sheep, hoping to breed them for wool. After several
weeks, he notices that none of the sheep are getting pregnant, and calls a
vet for help. The vet tells him that he should try artificial insemination.
The farmer doesn't have the slightest idea what this means but, not wanting
to display his ignorance, only asks the vet how he will
know when the sheep are pregnant.
The vet tells him that they will stop standing around and instead will lie
down and wallow in grass when they are pregnant.
The man hangs up and gives it some thought. He comes to the conclusion
that artificial insemination means he has to impregnate the sheep.
So, he loads the sheep into his Isuzu, drives them out into the woods,has
sex with them all, brings them back and goes to bed.
Next morning, he wakes and looks out at the sheep. Seeing that they are
all still standing around, he deduces that the first try didn't take, and
loads them in the Isuzu again.
He drives them out to the woods, bangs each sheep twice for good measure
brings them back and goes to bed.
Next morning, he wakes to find the sheep still just standing round.
One more try, he tells himself, and proceeds to load them up and drive them
out to the woods.
He spends all day sh*gging the sheep and, upon returning home, falls listlessly
into bed.
The next morning, he cannot even raise himself from the bed to look at the sheep.
He asks his wife to look out and tell him if the sheep are lying in the grass.
No, she says, they're all in the Isuzu and one of them is beeping the horn.


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## DTPCHEMICALS (Jul 24, 2006)

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: 
Dave p


Its still an oldie


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## Techno100 (May 8, 2010)

Many people are at a loss for a response when someone says, "You don't know Jack Schitt."
Now you can intellectually handle the situation.


Jack is the only son of Awe Schitt and O. Schitt.


Awe Schitt, the fertilizer magnate, married O. Schitt, a partner of Kneedeep &. Schitt Inc.

In turn, Jack Schitt married Noe Schitt, and the deeply religious couple produced 6 children: Holie Schitt, Fulla Schitt, Giva Schitt, Bull Schitt, and the twins: Deep Schitt and Dip Schitt.


Against her parents' objections, Deep Schitt married Dumb Schitt, a high school drop out. After being married 15 years, Jack and Noe Schitt divorced.

Noe Schitt later married Mr. Sherlock, and 
because her kids were living 
With them she wanted to keep her previous name. 
She was known as Noe Schitt-Sherlock.

Dip Schitt married Loda Schitt and they produced a nervous son, Chicken Schitt.

Fulla Schitt and Giva Schitt were inseparable throughout childhood and subsequently married the Happens brothers in a dual ceremony. The wedding announcement in the newspaper announced the Schitt-Happens wedding.

The Schitt-Happens children were Dawg, Byrd, and Hoarse. Bull Schitt, the prodigal son, left home to tour the world. He recently returned from Italy with his new bride, Piza Schitt.



So now if someone says, "You don't know Jack Schitt", you can correct them. Not only do you know Jack, you know his whole family!


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