# Myloh needs advice please



## Pusser (May 9, 2005)

Hi. Sometime ago I was doctored and from what I heard I should no longer get fruity.

However, this is not the case. Quite frequently I get the urge to hump Pussers leg although I prefer his dressing gown and to hold the belt in my mouth while I am doing it.

Mazzy, a female cat loiters almost permanently outside my front door but to be honest, she is not my type. For a start she is of lowly class, fat, fluffy and unkempt and not the sort of girl I would normally be seen with.

In truth, I prefer the dressing gown.

Could someone who knows how this all works advise me on what to do? Should I go to the vet and get redone or leave well alone an just be happy that at least I have a dressing gown rather than nothing at all.

Please do not get to sorry for me as I get loads of nice things to eat and tons of affection and Pusser lets me sleep on his head. In fact when he was having a 48 hour ECG test recently, I sat on his chest so I could be part of the examination. 

Apparently the consultant thought that Pusser was pregnant at first and then realised he was simply dealing with an idiot.

Many thank in advance and a big Meow from me. Lick lick lick.


----------



## gaspode (May 9, 2005)

Hi Myloh

How awful for you.  

The important question is, does the dressing gown reciprocate your advances? If not maybe you should consider living apart for a short time for both of you to contemplate the way forward? If you continue like this you risk blindness in later life.

Mind, if you don't get that mouse out of your right ear you'll be deaf as a post as well. :roll:


----------



## erneboy (Feb 8, 2007)

Relationships with dressing gowns used to be illegal, however in these enlightened times you are free to marry it. Good luck to you both, Alan.


----------



## 747 (Oct 2, 2009)

I would suggest some Lead in the cats ear.  

Usually cures everything. :wink:


----------



## tuk-tuk (Jul 8, 2009)

I do`nt think it has a mouse in it`s ear but I think it has definately got ticks. (see photo again 
tuk-tuk (or tick tick)


----------



## rowley (May 14, 2005)

In all my 69 years I have not come across a doctored tom doing that. However, our big doctored Ragdoll male, the one in the avatar, has been known to try and mate with our cream point male.
Are you feeding him on raw steak Puss? I am sure that would increase his libido!


----------



## Pusser (May 9, 2005)

rowley said:


> Are you feeding him on raw steak Puss? I am sure that would increase his libido!


We are just as puzzled but Bulawaylass ??? suggested it is possible that the vet has left an undropped testicle inside or remnants thereof and\or maybe a hormone problem. He maybe what is known as a "Monobollock".

Myloh prefers our food rather than his but his main food is Whiskas jelly pouches but he does not like them and only ends up eating them as a last resort. He prefers Brisket, Ham, bacon, fresh chicken and fresh fish. But he does like Encore from Tescos. plus those Treat sticks,

He follows me around like a dog, runs in from outside and jumps up on me as though we have been apart from years and he is not even my cat. He is my sons partners cat and has only been here a year.

My wife thinks I may give off bitch pheromones. 8O

Another target is our continental quilt. He gathers it up into a lump with his paws and then hammers it. And very often finishes off with a DIY BJ. 

I have to say in some ways I envy him. He seems happy.

But one thing he likes doing is to go to sleep either on my head if I am laying down or on my chest and use my chin for a pillow. After I stroke him for perhaps 5 to ten minutes, his tail starts moving and I know I will be bitten very shortly. The first bite is merely opening his mouth and biting my arm or hand but there on after he goes for blood.

I have tried to council him to no avail. I love him to bits but I am simply concerned the odd position he finds himself in may be detrimental either to his health or more so his mind.

Finally he is very brave. He will run out in the garden and attack a fox four times bigger than he is and so far he has been victorious. I am worried about the day\night he won't be.


----------



## VanFlair (Nov 21, 2009)

We do get some variety on MHF, I have nothing sensible to add as usual but have to say this thread is the "b___ocks" and has brightened a cold morning.

Martin


----------



## xgx (Oct 14, 2005)

Pusser said:


> (...)
> ***My wife thinks I may give off bitch pheromones. 8O
> 
> (...) **often finishes off with a DIY BJ.


***Brenda's back?

** he only does that because ... _he can_


----------



## Pusser (May 9, 2005)

xgx said:


> ***Brenda's back?
> 
> ** he only does that because ... _he can_


Daphne :?


----------



## patp (Apr 30, 2007)

Our neutered tom is in love with cushions  Perhaps they could correspond?


----------



## Pusser (May 9, 2005)

patp said:


> Our neutered tom is in love with cushions  Perhaps they could correspond?


On the face of it this sounds a solution to the problem but with a new Pope, who by all accounts is very conservative, I think it wise to see precisely how is views on contraception, gay marriage and feline fetishes pans out. 8O

Perhaps Pope Francis may have a thing about cassocks and in which case Myloh and Tom would have a chance to come together.


----------



## drcotts (Feb 23, 2006)

Hi Puss
The vet should have told you that the urge isnt guaranteed to go away as it doesnt originate in the gonads in the first place. 

Also what seems like an urge to make likkle kikkens is sometimes related to dominance and nothing to dp with sex at all. Has mummy been reading fifty shades again.


----------



## Spiritofherald (May 18, 2012)

When our cat was done he too continued being frisky for quite a while but the urges eventually seemd to subside.


----------



## Pusser (May 9, 2005)

drcotts said:


> Also what seems like an urge to make likkle kikkens is sometimes related to dominance and nothing to dp with sex at all. Has mummy been reading fifty shades again.


I have pondered that Myloh may feel sorry for me and in his own way is showing me how it should be done.

If dominance has anything to do with it then I give in now. No chance me every getting to those dizzy heights of power.

However, I have been looking at my dressing gown with renewed interest and am wondering whether I have been missing something all these years. 8O

Wash this space.


----------

