# The secret of a happy marriage



## gaspode (May 9, 2005)

My Wife and I have the secret to making a marriage last. Twice a week we go to a nice restaurant, have some good food, a little wine and companionship. She goes Tuesday and I go Friday. We sleep in separate beds, hers in London mine in Manchester. I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps coming back. I asked her where she wanted to go for our anniversary, " somewhere I haven't been for a long time" she said. So I suggested the kitchen. We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops. She has an electric blender, an electric toaster and an electric breadmaker.

When she said that she had too many gadgets, but nowhere to sit down, I bought her an electric chair.

Remember that marriage is the number one cause of divorce. Statistically 100% of all divorces started with marriage. I married Miss Right, I just didn't know that her first name was Always.

I haven't spoken to her for eighteen months - I don't like to interrupt her. The last time we had a fight, it was my fault. She asked "Whats on the TV" I said "Dust"

In the beginning, God created the earth and rested. Then, God created man and rested. Then God created woman. And since then, neither God nor man has rested.


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## artona (Jan 19, 2006)

HUH

SUPPOSE YOU THINK ALL OF THIS IS FUNNY!!!!!!

WHY DID YOU NOT TELL ME ALL OF THIS 23 YEARS AGO?


Happily married Stew


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## 94055 (May 1, 2005)

MY My
Tut Tut



> HUH
> 
> SUPPOSE YOU THINK ALL OF THIS IS FUNNY!!!!!!
> 
> WHY DID YOU NOT TELL ME ALL OF THIS 23 YEARS AGO?


A moderator shouting at a fellow Moderator, what next?

An apology & a Joke from you Stew is the punishment

so Ken why did you not tell all of us this earlier?

Steve


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## geraldandannie (Jun 4, 2006)

* no comment *

Gerald


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## artona (Jan 19, 2006)

Ok Steve

How about

_Marriage is an institution--but who wants to live in an institution?_

stew


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## 94055 (May 1, 2005)

Ok Stew
Thats the apology what happened to the joke? :lol: :lol: :lol:


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## badger (May 9, 2005)

Marriage is great.......I've been married for 38 years...................
.............2 of them happily :lol: :wink:


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## artona (Jan 19, 2006)

i shall reccommend you for a nuke medal badger, well done mate :lol: 

stew


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## Drummer (May 9, 2005)

Hi fellas!

You know "that look" your wife gets when she want sex? :wink: 


Me neither :lol: :lol: :lol:


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## crazylady (Oct 13, 2005)

The secret of a happy marriage is......................................................








don't do it in the first place!


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## Motorhomersimpson (May 9, 2005)

A friend of mine has a wife who is a sex object…………every time he wants sex, she objects.

MHS…Rob


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## Drummer (May 9, 2005)

badger said:


> Marriage is great.......I've been married for 38 years...................
> .............2 of them happily :lol: :wink:


I was happily married once, Badger! :wink: 
Then we left the vestry! :roll:


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