# Sometimes it DOES take a Rocket Scientist!! (True story)



## Motorhomersimpson (May 9, 2005)

Sometimes it DOES take a Rocket Scientist!! (True story)

Scientists at Roll Royce built a gun specifically to launch dead

Chickens at the windshields of airliners, and military jets,

all travelling at maximum velocity.

The idea is to simulate the frequent incidents of collisions with

airborne fowl to test the strength of the windshields.

American engineers heard about the gun and were eager to test

it on the windshields of their new high-speed trains,

arrangements were made, and a gun was sent to the American engineers.

When the gun was fired, the engineers stood shocked as the chicken hurled

out of the barrel,crashed into the shatterproof shield,

smashed it to smithereens, blasted through the control console,

snapped the engineer's back-rest in two and embedded itself

in the back wall of the cabin, like an arrow shot from a bow.

The horrified Yanks sent Rolls Royce the disastrous results of the

experiment, along with the designs of the windshield and begged

the British scientists for suggestions.











Rolls Royce responded with a one-line memo: "Defrost the chicken."


Homer........Rob


----------



## 88781 (May 9, 2005)

:lol: :lol: :lol:


----------



## 88781 (May 9, 2005)

A woman awakens during the night, and her husband isn’t in bed with her. She goes downstairs to look for him. She finds him sitting at the kitchen table with a cup of coffee in front of him. He appears to be in deep thought, just staring at the wall. She watches as he wipes a tear from his eye and takes a sip of his coffee. "What's the matter, dear?" she asks. "Why are you down here at this time of night?"

The husband looks up from his coffee, "Do you remember 20 years ago when we were dating, and you were only 16?" he asks solemnly.



"Yes, I do," she replies.



"Do you remember when your father caught us in the back seat of my car making love?"



"Yes, I remember," says the wife, lowering herself into a chair beside him.



The husband continues, "Do you remember when he shoved the shotgun in my face and said, 'Either you marry my daughter, or I'll send you to jail for 20 years?’"



"I remember that, too," she replies softly.



He wipes another tear from his cheek and says, "I would have gotten out today."


----------



## Motorhomersimpson (May 9, 2005)

:lol: :lol: :lol:


----------



## bigfoot (May 16, 2005)

The owner of a large American RV returned to his vehicle in a city centre coach park after a visit to a restaurant to find a man lying beside his vehicle unconcious.
Clutched in his pathetic hands were a fuel can with a piece of tubing coming out of it. When the ambulance arrived the diagnosis was that the intended fellon had be trying to syphon fuel out of the RVs tank. But he had put the pipe in-the toilet waste tank in error-UGH!.
Some people should be locked up for their own safety.


----------



## Anonymous (Nov 10, 2000)

An oil well in Saudi burst into flames and the Arabs were losing millions of dollars of revenue. "Quick", said the sheik, "phone Red Adair and get him here asap"

They phoned Red, "Aw gee guys I'm awful busy right now, call my Irish cousin Green Adair he'll probably be able to help you".

They phoned Green, Yes Gentlemen oi can help and me and the lads will be wid you soon, in fact, we'll come in moy Kon-tiki and take a holiday after we put the fire out. My fee will be 5 million dollars"

The Arabs thought this was a large amount but, as no other help was available, had to agree on the price.

A week or so later the Arabs saw dust on the horizon and it gradually came closer and closer, then, to their delight, over the top of a huge sand dune came a battered and dusty Kon-tiki. "Praise be to Allah" they said, "our oil well is saved". 

To the Arabs amazement the 'van rolled down the sand dune and straight into the middle of the fire! The 'van doors burst open and out jumped 10 burly Irishmen who immediately stamped the fire out!!

"A thousand thanks" said the Sheik, "we thought your 5 million dollar fee iwas a lot of money but you have saved us many times that, now that you are wealthy how do you intend to spend such a large sum?"

"The foist ting oi'm going to do Sir" said Green, "is get the brakes fixed on that bloody Kon-tiki!


----------



## 88781 (May 9, 2005)

*100% ...(I think your'e 'cowboys' thread just got better!)*

What Makes 100% ? 
What does it mean to give MORE than 100% ? 
Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100%?

We have all been to those meetings where someone wants you to give 
over 100%. 
How about achieving 103% ? 
What makes up 100% in life?

Well, here's a little mathematical formula that might help you answer 
these questions:

If : A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

is represented as:

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26

Then : 
H-A-R-D-W-O-R-K is 
8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 = 98%

and 
K-N-O-W-L-E-D-G-E is 
11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 = 96%

But,
A-T-T-I-T-U-D-E is 
1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100%

And, 
B-U-L-L-S-H-I-T is 
2+21+12+12+19+8+9+20 = 103%

AND, look how far ass-kissing will take you. 
A-S-S-K-I-S-S-I-N-G is 
1+19+19+11+9+19+19+9+14+7 = 118%

So, one can then conclude with mathematical certainty that 
...while Hard work and Knowledge will get you close,

....and Attitude will get you there,

....Bull**** and Ass-kissing will put you over the top.

:lol:


----------



## Raine (May 10, 2005)

:lol: :lol: I really really liked the "DEFROST THE CHICKEN! :lol: :lol:


----------



## Motorhomersimpson (May 9, 2005)

Hi Bigfoot, that made me feel sick, serves him right. :lol: 

Hi Dickle, :lol: :lol: :lol: 

Hi RAINE, makes you think, when that nation has all those WMD.

Hi Dave, calculating using that method, I think Motorhomefacts = 155%, sounds about right. :wink: 


Homer.....Rob


----------

