# Dead duck



## Groper (May 17, 2007)

A woman brought a very limp duck into a veterinary surgeon. As she
laid
her pet on the table, the vet pulled out his stethoscope and listened
to the bird's chest.

After a moment or two, the vet shook his head and sadly said, "I'm
sorry, your duck, Cuddles, has passed away."

The distressed woman wailed, "Are you sure?"
"Yes, I am sure. Your duck is dead," replied the vet..

"How can you be so sure?" she protested. "I mean you haven't done any
testing on him or anything. He might just be in a coma or something."

The vet rolled his eyes, turned around and left the room. He returned
a few minutes later with a black Labrador Retriever. As the
duck's owner looked on in amazement, the dog stood on his hind legs,
put his front paws on the examination table and sniffed the duck from
top to bottom. He then looked up at the vet with sad eyes and shook his
head.

The vet patted the dog on the head and took it out of the room. A few
minutes later he returned with a cat. The cat jumped on the table and
also delicately sniffed the bird from head to foot. The cat sat back on
its haunches, shook its head, meowed softly and strolled out of the
room.

The vet looked at the woman and said, "I'm sorry, but as I said, this
is most definitely, 100% certifiably, a dead duck."

The vet turned to his computer terminal, hit a few keys and produced a
bill, which he handed to the woman..
The duck's owner, still in shock, took the bill. "£150!" she cried,
"£150 just to tell me my duck is dead!"
The vet shrugged, "I'm sorry. If you had just taken my word for it, the
bill would have been £20, but with the Lab Report and the Cat Scan,
it's now £150."


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## Ian_n_Suzy (Feb 15, 2009)

lol, your name should be Groaner not Groper.

(OT: I once played a game of golf when my mate drove his ball into a greenside bunker, when we got to the bunker there was a dead Mallard next to his ball, and it was still toasty warm.)


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## flyingpig (Jan 14, 2009)

Ian_n_Suzy said:


> lol, your name should be Groaner not Groper.
> 
> (OT: I once played a game of golf when my mate drove his ball into a greenside bunker, when we got to the bunker there was a dead Mallard next to his ball, and it was still toasty warm.)


It should have DUCKED......sorry :!: :!: :!: :lol: :lol: :lol:


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## Ian_n_Suzy (Feb 15, 2009)

flyingpig said:


> It should have DUCKED......sorry :!: :!: :!: :lol: :lol: :lol:


This threads not getting any better 8O


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## flyingpig (Jan 14, 2009)

Ian_n_Suzy said:


> flyingpig said:
> 
> 
> > It should have DUCKED......sorry :!: :!: :!: :lol: :lol: :lol:
> ...


Neither is the duck.......sorry again.........   :lol: :lol:


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## Ian_n_Suzy (Feb 15, 2009)

flyingpig said:


> Ian_n_Suzy said:
> 
> 
> > flyingpig said:
> ...


lol


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## spykal (May 9, 2005)

Ian_n_Suzy said:


> I once played a game of golf when my mate drove his ball into a greenside bunker, when we got to the bunker there was a dead Mallard next to his ball, and it was still toasty warm.)


Did your mate score that hole as a "birdie" :lol:


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## Ian_n_Suzy (Feb 15, 2009)

......and just when you thought things couldn't get any worse......


spykal said:


> Did your mate score that hole as a "birdie" :lol:


 :roll:

that's a double groaner!


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## Groper (May 17, 2007)

The comments are better than the original joke :lol: :lol: :lol:


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