# Wind Breaking News.



## 100127 (Jul 20, 2006)

A fart is a pleasant thing, It gives the belly ease, It warms the bed in winter and suffocates the fleas.



A fart can be quiet, a fart can be loud and some can even leave a powerful poisonous cloud.



A fart can be short, a fart can be long, some farts have even been known to sound like a song.



A fart can create a most curious medley, a fart can be harmless, silent, and deadly.



A fart might not smell, while others are vile, a fart may pass very quickly or linger a while.



A fart can occur In a number of places, and leave everyone there with strange looks on their faces.



From the wide-open prairie, to a small elevator a fart will find all of us sooner or later.



But farts are not all bad, it Is simply not true, we must never forget Sweet old farts like you!



Kind of brings a tear to your eye - right?


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## camallison (Jul 15, 2009)

My old man could play the National Anthem coming down stairs in the morning. I'm still practising.

Colin


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## alphadee (May 10, 2009)

There was a young lady from Sparta,
Who was a truly exceptional farter,,
On the strength of one baked bean,
She could fart God Save The Queen,
And Beethoven's Moonlight Sonata.


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## Remus (Feb 10, 2011)

Not forgetting that verse from the immortal tale of the good ship Venus.

The First Mate's name was Carter

By 'eck he was a farter

When the wind wouldn't blow and the ship wouldn't go

They got Carter the farter to start her.


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## barryd (May 9, 2008)

When you fart in the bath it always sounds like "Edward Woodward"


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## Gretchibald (Jul 22, 2011)

Good job there are ' d's ' in that name.

otherwise Ewa Woowa


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## pippin (Nov 15, 2007)

Coming from someone with a name like *Gretchibald*..........!


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## Gretchibald (Jul 22, 2011)

.......and without any effort, pulled it off as easily as Joss would have pulled off a daisy head. Blood pumped out in all directions. The monster put the Shoat’s neck in it’s mouth and sucked and squeezed until all that was left was the skin and the bones. It then bit off the neck before throwing the shriveled remains over its head. Joss was frozen with fear as she watched and listened to the monster grinding the shoat’s neck in its teeth. It swallowed and belched towards Joss, the foul smelling breath almost caused Joss to vomit, but she was too petrified even for that. Old Alan’s words came back to haunt her “ It’s breath smells foul from the rotting flesh that gets stuck between it’s teeth”, and then she knew, this could only be one thing – The Gretchibald! 

BEWARE THE GRETCHIBALD !


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## 100127 (Jul 20, 2006)

YUK... :? :? :?


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## pippin (Nov 15, 2007)

*BEWARE THE GRETCHIBALD !*

Oh, indeed I will!


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## barryd (May 9, 2008)

Gretchibald said:


> .......and without any effort, pulled it off as easily as Joss would have pulled off a daisy head. Blood pumped out in all directions. The monster put the Shoat's neck in it's mouth and sucked and squeezed until all that was left was the skin and the bones. It then bit off the neck before throwing the shriveled remains over its head. Joss was frozen with fear as she watched and listened to the monster grinding the shoat's neck in its teeth. It swallowed and belched towards Joss, the foul smelling breath almost caused Joss to vomit, but she was too petrified even for that. Old Alan's words came back to haunt her " It's breath smells foul from the rotting flesh that gets stuck between it's teeth", and then she knew, this could only be one thing - The Gretchibald!
> 
> BEWARE THE GRETCHIBALD !


Sounds like my first date with Mrs D.


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## raynipper (Aug 4, 2008)

Have no fear, the problem is silved.!!!!!!

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/...derwear_n_4156400.html?utm_hp_ref=mostpopular

Ray.


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## nicholsong (May 26, 2009)

pippin said:


> *BEWARE THE GRETCHIBALD !*
> 
> Oh, indeed I will!


AND

Any other Arto 69 GL owner - we are a dangerous breed  :lol:


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