# Devastated



## josieb (Jan 20, 2008)

I dont know if I shall get to the end to post this. My partner of 22yrs Neil, died suddenly last week on my birthday. This morning is the first time that I have switched on. 
I would like to tell you what you have meant to us.
Last year I had a ticket for Shepton Mallet, so we thought we would pop in for just an hour before going for Sunday lunch. We were the last ones to leave the car park!!! We liked going in the motorhomes and compering the different layouts. We had never been in a motorhome before and were so happy hopping here and there. But what we really really liked was the people. Now we were never really people people, but everyone chatted and it was like you knew them. On the way back up to the car park we passed lots of homes and as it was glorious weather everyone was outside and as we passed people would say hello, hi, how you doing. Well we were hooked.

For the next few months we spent every moment looking at motorhomes, and searching the web. We gave up being workaholics because we suddenly found life. We had the best of times. We decided on the van we would like a Hymer 650s, it had to be a merc as Neil knew Mercs and had worked on them and we had to have rear wheel drive due to where we live and the ease of driving. I loved the layout, the bar version, it was just right as there were just the two of us and the two dogs. But we could not find one. One day we went to Premiere motorhomes to see a newish one we were so excited, but we got there only to find Hymer had changed to layout and it was horrid. Looking around we saw a beauty it was a Rapido, unfortunately it was way too long for were we live, so we started to look into Rapido models and in December we found a van that would do us nicely, I think we drove the nice man at Southern motorhomes totally mad (a medal for being so patient) It was an 03 Rapido 986m with just a few thou. on the clock. Home it came and Neil gave it his undivided attention. He had a classic car restoration company and was a total perfectionist. 
Due to work commitments and the appalling weather last winter we decided to wait until the spring to out. But when the first good weather came my Dad had an accident and died. A terrible blow, we were very close and my mum had been with my dad since early teens. We put the whole of summer on hold to support my mum and to be honest it had taken the shine off the summer. We had the builders in for a few months and a lodger in the shape of a Dobermann. My friends have gone to NZ for a couple of months and are due back in two weeks time!
We decided to make a break for it as soon a Ruby goes home (14th of this month) We were sooo excited Neil had arranged to MOT the van and spent Saturday Washing our pride and joy and was going to fill up the tank on Sunday Unfortunately this was not to be. 

I have now managed to go in the motorhome but I know nothing about it, I am shattered I cant imagine life without him. it has taken me a few hours to write this. This time last week I was truly numb totally shocked and shredded. The dogs and I are sat here wondering what hit us 

I found this forum last year and joined in January this year. Every day I would read him out posts of interest and I have spent many hours enjoying your company Thank you for being so welcoming and friendly.

Please dont feel obliged to reply to this as I dont know if I will be able to and thank you for allowing me to post

Wishing you all well

Thanks for being there I have had a really good time. It was great to switch on every morning to see what you had all been up to. And we were really looking forward to joining you soon. We are only a few miles from Shepton show ground. 
Josie


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## litcher (Jul 24, 2006)

Josie, I'm so, so sorry for your loss. Nothing anyone can say will make much difference at the moment as I'm sure life feels unreal.

My thoughts are with you.

Viv


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## locovan (Oct 17, 2007)

*devastated*

Dear Josie We are so sorry to hear your devastating news and it must have taken a lot of courage to write, but you have found what we have found, that there are friends on this forum who take the time to answer all your problems, who join in and give a view which might at times be different to yours but you become such friends and in your hour of need they are there.
We cant see their faces but they are so nice and friendly.
What can one say though except chin up life does knock you down at times but you will get back up slowly bit by bit.
Good luck our thoughts are with you xxxx 
Mavis and Ray


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## sallytrafic (Jan 17, 2006)




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## GypsyRose (May 9, 2005)

Josie, I am so very sorry!! I also think that you were very brave being able to tell us. Your whole world has been turned upside down and every day must bring it's problems. Please stay with us on here? Always someone to talk to on here. Take good care of yourself. Ana xx


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## Grunhilda (Jul 9, 2007)

Josie, this is awful to read, (((hugs)))
Rita
Taunton


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## sylke (Sep 10, 2007)

I am so sorry to hear of your loss Josie,my thoughts are with you.


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## asprn (Feb 10, 2006)

Josie,

I feel it's a privilege and an honour that you've shared what is undoubtedly a life-shattering event for you. I can't begin to understand how you must feel, but I know it took huge courage to post here as you have done. I'm glad you wanted to, and as with the others who have replied, I'll be thinking about you, believing that you'll find the strength to get through this.

Dougie. x


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## Rapide561 (Oct 1, 2005)

*.*

I can only echo Mavis and Ray.

Russell


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## bigbazza (Mar 6, 2008)

So sad Josie, thinking of you.
Barry


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## 95196 (May 1, 2005)

i hope you find some comfort from all the contacts on here look after yourself x


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## wakk44 (Jun 15, 2006)

So sorry Josie, take care.


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## Pusser (May 9, 2005)

Tragic news for you and your family having lost your Dad and now your partner is such a short time. There are of course, no correct words for this so bearing that in mind I think you have to think of the good times you have had with them and remember them in these good times.

Very sorry. Very sorry indeed.


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## TinaGlenn (Jul 7, 2006)

So much pain and bravery in one post, our hearts go out to you, our sincere condolences to you and your family

Tina & Glenn


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## Zebedee (Oct 3, 2007)

There's nothing I can say that sounds right Josie, but our thoughts are with you.

Stay with us please. There are a lot of very good people on here (some of whom you met at Shepton) and they will all want to offer whatever support they can, now and in the future.

You will always be welcome on MHF - whatever happens.

_(Sorry Josie. I can't get this to sound right, but I think you will understand what I'm trying to say.)_


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## LadyJ (May 9, 2005)

So so sorry to hear your sad news Josie our thoughts are with you.


Jacquie & John


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## haggisbasher (May 1, 2005)

Hi Josie - so sorry to hear about your sad loss and hope you found some solace in sharing your story with us.

We have just bought our first motorhome - yet to do maiden voyage - but the help and advice we have received from Motorhome Facts members has been unbelievable and I know some of them will keep in touch with you over the coming months.

Lots and lots of hugs 

Haggisbasher


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## xgx (Oct 14, 2005)

You are a remarkable woman Josie, please accept my condolences.

Take strength from wherever you can and above all be kind to yourself.

Please feel free to contact me via my website (I don't have pm facilities).

Graham
www.oldsoke


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## Broom (Oct 8, 2007)

Josie

Your not alone, thinking of you

Adrian
(Broom)


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## moblee (Dec 31, 2006)

Josie

Be strong,....Lots of friends on here you can talk to.

Phil.


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## GTI-PIP (Jul 1, 2007)

Josie
So so sorry for your loss,words cannot express our fellings.

We are all here for you.

Cliff & Lyn


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## Telbell (May 1, 2005)

So sorry to hear of your loss-well done for having the strength to Post. Our thoughts are with you.


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## DABurleigh (May 9, 2005)

Josie,

My heart goes out to you. 

Maintain plenty of social contact, even though it's hard, and keep talking.

Dave


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## 100004 (Jul 12, 2006)

It took courage to do that post and no mistake. Stay with us and share when needed.

H


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## Suenliam (Mar 22, 2006)

I'm so, so sorry Josie. 

Few have words to express how they feel at a time like this. You are one of the few. Thanks for sharing it with us - and keep sharing.

Sue


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## zulurita (May 9, 2005)

I am so sorry Josie for your loss.

Take care, thinking and praying for you.


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## anneandgeorge (May 1, 2005)

*In Memory of*

Josie
My heart goes out to you. It it so sad to read your story and I can only imagine how you feel, having once losing three close people in one year. But losing a partner must be a lot harder. One of my best friends lost her husband a few years ago and didn't like to talk him too much to her children in case it upset them. I told her to talk to me as much as she wanted about her husband, which we have done remembering the funny,good and sometimes bad times. It has done her a power of good to talk about him. I can only say that as time goes by it gets easier to live with. God Bless. Anne


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## relay (May 9, 2005)

Dear Josie,

So very sorry to hear of your loss. As others have said, talking is so important, and sometimes it's easier to do it online. Please keep posting. 

Ern & I will hold you in our thoughts,

-H


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## 117306 (Oct 9, 2008)

Hello Josie

I don't know you, My wife and I have only just recently joined this forum after buying our first motorhome.
I am writing this in tears and my wife Irene has just popped upstairs and I read your message to her.
People do seem to be friendly on this forum and I do hope that you will gain strength from reading these replies.
Our hearts go out to you at this time.
Please accept our sympathies.
Dave & Irene


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## rowley (May 14, 2005)

Josie, that is so sad. Thank you for having the courage to share your burden with us. We offer you our prayers and thoughts.


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## Invicta (Feb 9, 2006)

So very sorry to hear of your loss Josie.

My husband of 46 years died three years ago now. Martin had been ill for 10 years so his death was not unexpected but he was still by today's standards a relatively young man at the age of 70 to die. 

It sounds from your posting that Neil was not ill so his death has been a very huge shock to you. I can tell you that you will never 'get over' his passing just that every day does get a little easier. Do talk about him, if you have family as I do they will never get tired of you mentioning him. It can be very comforting to them for you to do so. 

I will be attending the annual All Souls' service at 6 pm tonight in the village church. At this service the names of all we have lost are read out. Martin was well known in the village in which we both lived for 12 years before his passing so many more will be remembering him tonight and I will be taking comfort from that. 

I do hope that you also have the support of family and friends as I have to share in your loss, not just now but in the months and years to come. 

Peggy x


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## carolgavin (May 9, 2005)

So very sorry to hear of the sad death of Neil and of your father. Losing two beloved people in such a short time must be utterly devastating for you and your family. You have our heartfelt sympathy at this very sad time. Please accept our sincere condolences for your loss.


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## catzontour (Mar 28, 2007)

In tears here after just reading your post Josie. Thinking of you.

Sue


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## AndrewandShirley (Oct 13, 2007)

Hi there you are not alone.

We bought our M/H to say with my best friend and brother in law, who died without ever going away in it. 

He had set his heart on retiring at 60 and sharing the van with us.

He did not make it by a few days.

That was nearly a year ago and it has affected us so much one would not believe.

We have re-evaluated our lives and decided on what really is important and what is not.

I know you will be numb and think lifes unfair, it is sometimes but remember the good times and do not be afraid to talk about it, it helps.


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## CliveMott (Mar 10, 2008)

*FRIENDS*

When you are ready you have many friends here who would love to see you out and about with a wave en route.
Pecker up. It takes time. The first year is the worst.

Set yourself some targets, learn the van, co-opt someone if necessary to help you prepare it and put the dates of a few shows in your diary.

look forwards while remembering the past with great fondness.

Our thoughts are with you

Clive


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## geraldandannie (Jun 4, 2006)

You are so brave to be able to reach out like this. Please keep in touch, and don't be afraid to ask for help any time you need it.

Our thoughts are with you.

Gerald and Annie


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## oldenstar (Nov 9, 2006)

So very sorry Josie.

It was a great privilege to have met you both, albeit very briefly and in another Rapido at the last Shepton show.

I remember Neil talking with knowledge about Mercs- A very pleasant man.

Sincere condolences from Fay and myself, and if you are able it would be nice to see you at the January Shepton show.

Paul


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## patnles (Oct 26, 2006)

Josie,
I am sorry to hear of your huge loss. I can't imagine how you must be feeling right now. As others have said, time is a great healer, but time won't be rushed. 
In 22years, Im sure you've had a lot more happy times with Neil than sad ones and your memories of him will, in time, be the happy ones.
We will be thinking of you.
Lesley


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## CliveMott (Mar 10, 2008)

I forgot to add
I cried. 
C.


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## patp (Apr 30, 2007)

Dear Josie
So, so sorry to hear your sad news. Like others i feel humbled by your bravery to find the courage to post and to put into words some of your feelings. How wonderful that you found motorhoming together even if it was only to be for a too short time.
I find it difficult to find words of comfort for you but just please know that we are all thinking of you at this sad sad time.

Chris and Pat


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## Groper (May 17, 2007)

So many posts have already expressed what we all feel about your loss that there is nothing I can add except my sincere sympathy.


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## Frenchlily (Sep 16, 2005)

Josie I am so sorry, 

Lesley


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## Motorhomersimpson (May 9, 2005)

Josie, so sorry to read about the very sad loss of both your father and partner - Neil, words cannot really convey what I feel after reading your post, but the fact you chose tell us, means you are talking about the sadness in your life, that will help and you will hopefully now realise you are not alone in your grieve. Keep talking, we’ll listen.

My thoughts are with you at this very sad time, take care.

Rob


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## larrywatters (Aug 21, 2007)

dear josie
all we can say is that are hearts are with you and your family at this time of sadness. When the time comes for you to take to the road again the club will always be with you
with regards
larry and gilly
xxxxxxxx


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## Freddiebooks (Aug 9, 2008)

Hello Josie,

If/when you manage to get out and about in your motorhome now, then be sure he'll be with you in spirit. So you'll be living out your dreams for two.

And when you meet again, he'll be there waiting for you. Probably with a gleaming motorhome. So you can carry on from where you left off. 

Freddiebooks


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## dragonfly (Mar 10, 2007)

Dear Josie

Words are so inadequate, so we send you a big hug. Stay with it - and get out and about in your motorhome, there's lots of motorhomers out there who will be only too pleased to chat and to help you.

Bob and Di


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## owl459 (Jul 27, 2007)

Thoughts are with you.Sincere best wishes


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## Briarose (Oct 9, 2007)

Josie I am sat here with tears streaming down my face, we were so looking forward to getting away in our own MH around about now, but my MIL isn't so good, I have to tell you your post has certainly made me think.

My thoughts are with you take care lots of love Nette xxx


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## Tucano (Jun 9, 2006)

Josie,
You have my deepest sympathy,
So very sorry,
Norman


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## chrisndeb (Feb 7, 2007)

Josie
So Sad,my brother lost his wife of 25 years almost 3 years ago now turned his world upside down.He is back on track now,I think what im trying to say although you will never ever forget time is a good healer. Take care Chris n Deb


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## annetony (May 1, 2005)

Oh Josie, I am so very sorry to hear about both your losses in such a short space of time
I admit I cried when I read your post, and our sincere sympathies are sent to you at this sad time

take care and God Bless

Anne & Tony


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## Jagman (Feb 16, 2008)

So sorry Josie, I hope that you have good people around you who can help you through the times ahead. My thoughts are with you.


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## StAubyns (Jun 4, 2006)

Our thoughts are with you

Geoff & Ida


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## JockandRita (Jun 1, 2005)

Hello Josie,

Like others on here, I feel honoured to have read and shared your sad post. I cannot begin to understand what feelings and thoughts must be with you all of the time. Please accept my sincerest condolences. I shall relay your tragic loss to my better half, Rita.

Can I just say though, that I, and all of these good people before me, will be concerned for you, and would be so pleased if you are able to find the strength to reply, when you feel the time is right , so don't go into hiding, please. 

You won't ever be alone on here.

Most sincerely yours,

Jock.


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## Sharnor (Jul 24, 2006)

Josie

Our sincerest condolences. As Jock and others have said, we feel honoured that you have shared with us during this extremely sad and lonely time. Please keep in touch with us when you feel strong enough to do so.

All the very best wishes

Sharon and Norman


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## ChesterfieldHooligan (Oct 26, 2008)

What can I say our thought's are with you what can we say time is a great healer Brian and Nod


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## mandyandandy (Oct 1, 2006)

So so sorry, just don't know the right words for people at times like this. 

Just take care of yourself and think what he would want for you. 

Come back soon when you feel able. 

Mandy


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## josieb (Jan 20, 2008)

Hello 
I wish you could all read my mind as words are not coming very easily.
I just came to see if I could post a few words and was overwhelmed by the response from you all, words of thanks seem a little inadequate but from the bottom of my broken heart thank you for being so kind.
There are so many broken thoughts going round in my mind and the vultures have gathered making things even harder to bear.

I see that I had a few private posts as well and I will see if I can reply to those in the next day or two, again thank you so much.

I will try and come back again tomorrow and chat with you. Thank you for being here
Josie


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## carolgavin (May 9, 2005)

Hi Josie, thank you for coming back on with your kind words. When you feel ready again, we will be here for you, take care.


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## Zebedee (Oct 3, 2007)

Nothing wrong with those words Josie!!   

Things will get easier, and you have a lot of friends here, even if most of them are "virtual".

Don't worry about getting tongue tied. Everybody will understand.

Best wishes  

Dave


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## bigfoot (May 16, 2005)

Josie my eyes filled up when I read your very moving first post.
The response from your friends on here should be some comfort.
As for the vultures there is a saying round here 'Where there's a will there's a family.
There will always be some unpleasantness at times like this. So called 'family' you don't see from one year to the next,all of a sudden remember where you live. Just console yourself with the times you had together and be glad to see the back of them.


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## trevorf (May 16, 2005)

I really just do not know what to say except, so sorry.

Trevor


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## 107088 (Sep 18, 2007)

josieb said:


> There are so many broken thoughts going round in my mind and the vultures have gathered making things even harder to bear.
> Josie


some people have no morality. When they dont leave a widow alone, then they become worthless individuals to be abhored.

Josie, theres nothing, and no words which will help greatly, but, there are memories which are more precious than any material object yet made; its memories such as those you made with your man that will see you through.

Up until the Vultures post, I saw no point in joining with this thread, as my sentiments were made by dozens of others, but, theres a limit.


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## JockandRita (Jun 1, 2005)

Hi Josie,

Nice to see you back with us. Good words from Zebedee and Bandaid. Look after yourself.

Kindest regards,

Jock.


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## WingPete (Jan 29, 2006)

*Sympathy and Understanding*

Josie, I have just returned to this forum after some time away, following a similar expience to yours. I could not even think what I may do without my right arm. My Lesley died in my arms on Oct 1st, totaly unexpectedly.
My friends from around the world, literally, sent emails and cards in enormous numbers, and gave great comfort in their words of sympathy, but all had me in tears for most of the time I was reading them.
I also posted here, to get it off my chest (there nothing like talking it out ) and getting some thoghts about what I was to now do with the new Rapido we only bought at Easter . I decided to keep it and use it.
I am now off on a trip to catch up absent friends in derbys & N Yorks, to ensure I have the enthusiasm and support from those friends, to make it more bearable to live life anew, with major changes to deal with, but knowing there are myriads of friends out there to help, some you have never met but all waiting to greet you. Take care, as we care. Peter


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## josieb (Jan 20, 2008)

Hello and morning..
Mum and I have managed to come down with a cold, the first one for many a year. Not knowing how things will pan out Ive not had the heating on but gave in last night! With everything frozen while the vultures contest the will, I thought it prudent to reign in all spending. No access to bank accounts etc.

I cant understand how when I look out the window first thing everything is just the same, same garden, same hedge and road but when I turn and look inside everything is different. Its so strange where once everything I done was with thought to what Neil or Neil and I wanted and would do through out the day, the getting up the making of breakfast together, the long chats about the house, the day, the dogs, the goodbyes then the hellos. Trying to think without thinking of us is so strange. Its just me. Oh I will just stop there!!

I nee to ask some motorhome questions so I will go and look for the find the right places to ask them


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## JockandRita (Jun 1, 2005)

Morning Josie,

It's good to see you join us again. I look forward to reading your posts in other sections of MHF. Please remember, if you don't know the answer, then it's not a silly question.

Take care,

Jock.


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## xgx (Oct 14, 2005)

josieb said:


> ... Trying to think without thinking of us is so strange.


It's strange, uncomfortable and uncharted territory, it's a long road but every step takes you forward... underpinned by the warm and positive memories of 'us' that guide you through.



josieb said:


> Its just me.


Yes, it's just you working your own way through a very difficult time but... you are not alone :wink:


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## josieb (Jan 20, 2008)

*just let me ramble*


I didn't have a very good day yesterday, for some unknown reason I cried nearly all day. I did manage to walk the dogs for a short time but that didn't seem to help. The dogs have been ever so good and not pestered for their usual walks. Maybe the cold is not helping and as it is dark by 4-30 makes for a long night. Not a great tv watcher at the moment. Have got to trek to the solicitor today. At least in the west our weather is not as bad as some places.


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## WingPete (Jan 29, 2006)

*Never without*

Josie, you are never going to be without those memories of days now past. I also sit here some days, and have those little reminders of what WE would have been doing together. Then emotion breaks through so I have a quiet moment of reflection, with perhaps a tear or three.
However, life must go on. Even though there is now silence in the house, especially when on this PC, the presence of another is there all the time, with little reminders everywhere you look.
I have just retruned from 3 nights away, stopping in three locations to visit friends from way back, using the 'van, as no room in the Inns.! 
Van was plastered with mud from country lanes of Derbyshire and Yorkshire. Found a hand wash at side of A1 who did great job for £15 !
Then had all the unpacking to go through at home, like WE used to do, but takes longer. Now is not the best time to take to the road, if you were thinking of it Josie, but friends will be there for your benefit and light relief, when you allow them to be comforters.
The next thing you and I have to plan is Christmas. WE always chased the sun, somewhere in the world. Were thinking of Cyprus. Now.
Dunno, too many ionvites to accept them all, but many will have to be dissapointed I cannot come to them.
Take care and keep chatting. Peter


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## sallytrafic (Jan 17, 2006)

Do it at your own pace everyone takes bereavement differently. There is no right answer to how you 'should' be feeling at any stage.


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## CaGreg (Mar 28, 2007)

Hi,
Because of my changeover of computer, I missed the original posting about you losing your husband, so late, but sincerely, you have my sympathies.

You mentioned in your post that you look out and everything is the same outside but that you feel so different.

Grief is like being in a new country, without maps and the language needed to get through. You literally don't know where you are for the longest time, but others who have lost, understand the language, but cannot really help a lot except to offer support and encouragement.

Christmas is coming and it will be so difficult, but it will pass by and you will survive, somehow.
Take care,
Thoughts and prayers,

Ca and Greg.


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## locovan (Oct 17, 2007)

There are stages to grief as I found out when my 16 year old daughter was killed and you have to pass through them, it is a sad journey but you do come out at the end
How long does that take??
Well for me it will take my life time but Im smiling and laughing again but it is always in my heart that little part that died the day she did.
. You will heal, even if you cannot believe that now, just know that it is true. To feel pain after loss is normal. It proves that we are alive, human. But we can't stop living. We have to become stronger, while not shutting off our feelings for the hope of one day being healed and finding happiness again. Helping others through something we have experienced is a wonderful way to fascilitate our healing and bring good out of something tragic. 
I wish you all the love in the world and hope I have helped just a little bit that you are not alone in this world 
Kindest Regards Mavis


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## BJandPete (Jul 8, 2008)

Josie we are both very sad to here of your loss if there is any help you need this is the place to be there are so many helpful people in motorhome facts some one is always online
take care


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## fatbast (Dec 5, 2007)

+1  so sad. you are very brave. condolences.


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## xgx (Oct 14, 2005)

locovan said:


> There are stages to grief ...


One may not necessarily experience each and every stage... some stages just don't happen; as has been said, we're all different in the way that grief affects us.

When in tunnel, look for light...


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## wobby (May 1, 2005)

We are so sorry for your loss, there aren't any words that can express the feeling of emptiness you must be feeling. However we hope with the help of family, and friends on this forum you will eventually come to terms with your sad loss. 

Wobby


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## josieb (Jan 20, 2008)

Thank you all so much for you unending support. I have this feeling like being pushed over a cliff, its like being led to the gallows. Neils family are out for all they can get I am just so shocked at the way things are going, it makes me wonder what's the point in making a will. My life at the moment is being torn apart, it makes the loss of Neil even harder to bear. Oh you don't need to know all my troubles...I know I must stay positive, ha, I just hope I will be able to keep our motorhome and go out next year.


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## 107088 (Sep 18, 2007)

If you have friends and children, have a chat with a legal aid brief, and sell everything to them at a ridiculous discount. then you can offer the proceeds to the outlaws....of it was legal, it would be wonderful..


" yes I sold the motorhome for £ 4.55
The house raised £ 19.46
The contents were sold as a job lot for " 33.00

This I did to save you the effort therefore in a gesture of goodwill heres a cheque for £ 70.00...............now bugger off and wither." :wink:


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## josieb (Jan 20, 2008)

Now that I do like. If only I could. Unfortunately Everything was in Neil's name (for no good other reason than it was ok like that, we had absolute trust in each other) so it is seen as his estate and as the family are contesting the will I have no rights over any of our things and the solicitor can give me no guarantee that everything will work out in my favour 22 years and a will seem to count for nothing all our dreams turned to ash


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## DABurleigh (May 9, 2005)

Hopefully you are beyond such straightforward matters, but in case it helps:

Dave


> ....there are two main grounds on which to contest a will - its validity, or financial dependency on the deceased. The majority of cases tend to focus on the former and can include doubts about the mental capacity of the person making the will, concerns over undue influence placed on them at the time of making the will, or a lack of knowledge or approval from the will maker.
> 
> A court will assume the will is valid, so the onus is on the challenger to provide evidence that suggests otherwise. If the court decides there is doubt, the burden is then on those who want the will to proceed in its existing form to prove it was completed correctly.
> 
> The 1975 Inheritance Act provides another route for redress. Where a relative was financially dependent on the deceased at the time of death, that person has a right to claim on the estate if they are left out. However, if their challenge is successful it does not necessarily mean they will receive a lump-sum payment; it is more likely the court will grant maintenance payments.


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## josieb (Jan 20, 2008)

Well Christmas came and went, bad as it could be. But worse was to come, I had been sort of patting myself on the back for being a bit more in control, then New years day came and hit me full in the face. I think it was the thought of a whole year in front of me, I think it must of been like staring down the barrel of a gun, it has taken me until now to gain control again. The sick empty feeling is back and my brain has deserted me again. 
I am going to look forward to Shepton on Friday and I am going to GO.

Josie


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## DABurleigh (May 9, 2005)

Good on you, Josie.

I watched the film "PS I Love You" last night. Try it it for a therapeutic cry.

Dave


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## WingPete (Jan 29, 2006)

*Gr 8*

Good on you Josie. Do what can be done by yourself, but taking twice the time and half the speed. I know ! But at least there's only one person now who knows where things have been hidden, lost or stowed away. YOU
Have a good time doing that which will be "different" but familiar.
Wish I could get along as well, but friends do find time for me, so invites to lunch etc, are most welcome. Saves me having to slave away making a meal for one, but I can and do just that on other days. Enjoy the change and recall the memories, but always, take great care >


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## Tucano (Jun 9, 2006)

Josie,
Stick with it, hard, very hard but you WILL come through it, take care of yourself in this new New Year.
Norman


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## ChrisandJohn (Feb 3, 2008)

josieb said:


> I had been sort of patting myself on the back for being a bit more in control, then New years day came and hit me full in the face. (snip)
> I am going to look forward to Shepton on Friday and I am going to GO.
> 
> Josie


Josie, this will probably continue in some way: two steps forward, and one back, then perhaps three forward ........ Your determination to go to Shepton shows you're taking control again. Congratulations as well as condolences.

Chris


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## Nora+Neil (May 1, 2005)

Josie.

Great to hear you are going to Shepton.
We are all here for you at anytime and you will get through this.
Big hug.


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## CaGreg (Mar 28, 2007)

Josie.

Big well done, for getting this far, and for getting up each day and facing what is ahead. Doing that alone is an achievement.

New Year caught you unawares, that happened to me the first year too, I was concentrating so hard on getting through Christmas that I didn't even give New Year a thought and wham! it was horrible, but I did what we do and survived it. 

Grief can catch you off guard quite often, sideswiping you when you least expect it.
Take good care,
Ca


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