# Visitors to Glasgow - a short intro to the language



## 101776 (Nov 13, 2006)

Glesga patter Numr wan!

Traffic Polis in Glesga

"If any of you are contemplating a visit to the Glasgow area (applies all over) please bear in mind that the Scots language can be a trifle difficult to understand

The Glasgow, or more properly "Glesca", dialect is known to be extremely concise,as so much can be said in so few words.

Consider for example, this exchange between a motorist and a Police Officer who stopped him in the Possilpark area. Translation is provided inside the brackets.


Police officer:
Yaw rite ? (are you feeling ill?)

Driver:
'maw rite. (No. I'm feeling exceptionally well, thank you)

Police officer:
Yeshoor? (are you entirely certain of that fact?)

Driver:
Aye. (yes)

Police officer:
Zisyoors? (are you the registered owner of this vehicle?)

Driver:
Zwitmine? (which vehicle are you referring to?)

Police officer:
Ris caur (The automobile in which you are presently seated)

Driver:
Sibrurn laws (Actually, it belongs to my sister's husband)

Police officer:
Wers heeren? (Can you tell me where he can be located ?)

Driver:
'Raboozers. (He is a guest of the local hostelry.)

Police officer:
Yebeen garglin'. (Have you partaken of any alcholic beverages, in the recent past?)

Driver:
Jissa cupple. (I have consumed only one or two small cocktails, prior to dinner.)

Police officer:
Yur stoatin'. (It is my considered opinion that you are considerably under the influence of alcohol.)

Driver:
Naw'mno' (I beg to differ.)

Police officer:
Ye urstoatin'. (I believe that my initial observation is correct,and that you are being somewhat deceitful.)

Driver:
Umnoe. (I swear that I am being entirely truthful.)

Police officer:
Geezyer licence. (Would you be kind enough to allow me to inspect your drivers licence?.)

Driver:
'Vno goatwan. (I am not in possession of such a document.)

Police officer:
Geroot racaur (Kindly remove yourself from the automobile.)

Driver:
Whiffur? (By what legal right do you make this request?.)

Police officer:
'Mapolis. ( I am a member of the local police constabulary.)

Driver:
Ommygoad (I call upon the Supreme Being, to witness this moment of extreme duress.)

Police officer:
Geroot Ren. (Will you now please extricate yourself from your position behind the steering wheel.)

Driver:
Awrite, 'mcomin' (I am proceeding to do so with all possible speed.)

Police officer:
Blawris up. (Are you familiar with the breathalyser test?.)

Driver:
'Mgonny Besik. (I am not feeling too well and I believe that I am about to be violently ill.)

Police officer:
Noanme Yurno. (Please exercise a great deal of caution as to the direction your involuntary emission takes.)

Driver:
'Mawrite Noo (Having ridden my digestive tract of an accumulation of nausea-inducing substances I now feel better.)

Police officer:
GetniVan. (Please be kind enough to accept a short ride in the humble vehicle provided for my use by the local police.)

Driver:
Wer Wegaun? (May I be so forward as to make an enquiry as to our ultimate destination ?.)

Police officer:
Jail. (To my headquarters,where you will be incarcerated.)

Driver:
Ohmigoad, rawife'll murder me. (Once again I call upon the Supreme Being to witness this unfortunate turn of events. Incidentally, I must inform you that my spouse will take my life, by violent means.)

Police officer:
Getna Wagon. (May I offer you my assistance in climbing into the back of my vehicle.)

Driver:
Aw, Neveragain. Ratsit furme. (I have now learned a valuable lesson, and I hereby declare total abstinence from all alcoholic beverages hence forth.)"


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## b16duv (Feb 14, 2006)

Am no a weegie , but ah kent fine whit ye wur oan aboot.


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## GEOMAR (Mar 16, 2008)

*visit to glasgow*

An I thouht the lingo fa Aberdeen wis bad enouf[/b]


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## b16duv (Feb 14, 2006)

*Re: visit to glasgow*



GEOMAR said:


> An I thouht the lingo fa Aberdeen wis bad enouf[/b]


I learned the aberdonian dialect from Scotland the What -

"Off Holburn Street slightly, as kids we would gather nightly, at a chipshop unsightly, twas called the Ashvale.

Supreme amongst chippers, when we were but nippers, Aberdonians and Glasgow trippers, patronised the Ashvale.

But its gone now, what folly, like the playhouse and Andrew Collie, these are blows to the quality of North East life."

Sorry, forgotten the last verse loon.

David

last verse (I think) -"That chipper that I went 'till, I may be too sentimental, but I'm sad that a continental carry oot is now there"


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## exmusso (Jun 18, 2006)

*Ashvale Song*

Ashvale Chipshop Tune - sung to the tune of "one black one, one white one"
A verse I can remember is-

A powerful figure
She yielded with vigour
A bottle of Vinegar
She ruled the Ashvale

Cheers,
Alan


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## b16duv (Feb 14, 2006)

*Re: Ashvale Song*



exmusso said:


> Ashvale Chipshop Tune - sung to the tune of "one black one, one white one"
> A verse I can remember is-
> 
> A powerful figure
> ...


Forgot that verse, Alan! The tune, 'one black one, one white one, and one wi a dod o ***** on an one wi a fairy light on tae show us the way' ? Isn't it called 'The Ashgrove' (but with different words!)

D


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## foll-de-roll (Oct 29, 2007)

Heh Jimmy

Yaybroatateertaemaglesee.



Andygump :lol: :lol: :lol:


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## carolgavin (May 9, 2005)

Excellent, translation for the hard of scottish was brilliant as well. can just see gav having that conversation in Easterhoose


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## Tobysmumndad (Nov 12, 2007)

Of course, there's the ever-popular young Glaswegian lady's outraged cry of:
"Getyerhaunoffarerr!" (Take your hand off my delicate parts, you rude person!)
To which there was sometimes a follow up of: 
"NawnotyooyenumptyYOO!" (No, not you, dimwit, YOU!")

Is someone seriously telling me that the award winning Ashvale fish and chipper in Aberdeen has gone?

It's more correctly the Buchan dialect, which encompasses Aberdonian:
"Fit like min?" (How are you today, my good man?)
"Ach, chavvin awa jis fine, ye ken." (I'm in good form today, thank you.)


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