# I'm full of c**p !!



## 95633 (Jul 4, 2005)

*I'm full of c**p !!*

John (RR) and Olley - no comments from you guys before I even start !! 

Here is my situation (not uncommon to many I'm sure) :-

We are at a nice quiet CG in Somerset, so thankfully, we didn't have an audience for our very first macerator dump.

Before going out to look at new hoses, I thought I would make use of one of the 5 hoses we've got in the RV - BIG MISTAKE.

We connected the macerator and Ann-Marie was given the task of holding the hose near the waste disposal point. She pointed out that she had the rough end of the deal.

I pulled the lever to see how the macerator coped with grey waste before worrying about black and it did exactly as it should.

So, I closed the grey and opened the black, then stood a comfortable 6ft away from the macerator before turning it on with the remote.

It worked like a dream - for the first couple of minutes.

Then it stopped !!

I just assumed it couldn't manage a newly deposited piece of toilet paper and used the screw at the bottom to unjam it - and it pumped (slowly) for another few seconds.

It was at this point the "penny dropped" - the hose was in fact too narrow for the crap to flow thru, and as it felt full I figured it was full of solids.

All of a sudden, Ann-Marie was glad which end she had been given as I had to decide how best to unhook the system.

I closed the black lever and placed a bucket under the macerator. Then I carefully undid the hose and found nothing leaked as it was full of solid waste.

Then - wait for it - I had to undo the macerator from the sewer valve.

I thought I'd do it slowly so I could control the "flow" - AND THAT WAS MY SECOND MISTAKE - the crap just shot out of the sides as though it was under compression - and I ended up covered in crap !! 

We managed to clean everything down and return the RV to its site.

QUESTION :-

So, I went out today in search of some 1" hose.

Before I purchased the hose, I tried to find a connector to go from the std hose pipe width of the macerator outlet upto the 1" for the hose.

I managed to find such a connector EXCEPT it won't actually screw onto the macerator - the threads just wont "line up".

Can someone tell me what I need to buy please - would that plumbers tape work to connect the two?

Any advice would be appreciated as I've told Ann-Marie we're changing places for the next attempt 

Thanks
Paul

PS Sorry it was a bit long winded.


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## Superk (Aug 22, 2005)

If I'm picturing what you're trying to do (and lots of pictures have been flashing through my mind) then push the 1" hose over the macerator outlet (bit of soap solution helps) and secure with a jubilee clip.

I'm suprised the macerator couldn't cope what have you been on? It's supposed to chew up cigars and cigarettes 8O

Just an afterthought - is enough power getting to the macerator - is it earthed properly?


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## 95633 (Jul 4, 2005)

Hi Superk

Thanks for the quick reply.

The macerator outlet is a lot smaller than the 1" pipe I want to use.

Will the aligator clip be able to clasp it tight enough to seal any creases caused by the 1" folding down to the smaller outlet.

As I said, I managed to get a connector the correct size for the outlet whole and that connector screws onto another which is 1" - so the hose would fit that like a glove (with the aligator clip grasping it without any air leaks etc).

It's just that the smaller connector wont screw on to the outlet. 

Thanks
Paul

PS Ive just remembered that Ann-Maries parents came by yesterday and they "paid a visit" - I can just about cope with the thought of my by-products - Ann-Maries is harder to think of - but having my Mother-in-Law sh*t on me is just not on 8O 8O


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## LC1962 (Oct 6, 2005)

That reminds me - I must dig out that copy of "RV" for the kids to watch at the show this weekend ottytrain5: :lol: 

Paul, you are not the first and I doubt you will be the last :wink: 

Your best port of call would be a place that deals in pond equipment, most likeley they will have what you need.

In the meantime if you need a standard 3" dump hose give me a shout ottytrain4: 

Best of luck
Linda


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## 95633 (Jul 4, 2005)

Hi Linda

Ive got plenty of the 3" - great for the grey drain we've got at this pitch.

I did go to a pond supplier for the connectors - I just dont know if the Americans have a different thread to us over here.

It's only the threads not connecting that Im struggling with now.

Paul


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## Pusser (May 9, 2005)

Oh the beauty of a marine loo. If anything was to stop me buying an RV it would be this. And of course the size. Oh. and the fuel...and where I could put it.

The answer is to have 8 teaspoonfuls of syrup of figs before you use the loo and with this idea you can actually just use a hosepipe indeed, with a sprinkler on the end if desired.

Great story and my day has been significantly enhanced. Thank you very much for sharing.


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## ksebruce (Nov 5, 2006)

Oh the pictures this post conjured up    
Thanks for cheering me up.


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## johng1974 (Jan 17, 2007)

I agree totally , Robin Williams and 'RV'

I shouldnt laugh


John


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## LC1962 (Oct 6, 2005)

Paul

American thread is usually NPT whereas ours is BSP although some vary and fit, we have some threaded pipe unions which came from a hydraulics place...not ideal as they are brass, but the threads fit fine - perhaps try a hydraulic supplier.

A point of note (assuming you have the Flojet in a suitcase model), the black garden faucet end of a white city water fill hose fits the macerator outlet, if you have one, take it along as a guide....I doubt you'd be wanting to take the macerator???

Cheers
Linda

PS there's a lot to be said for sanitation treatments too :wink:


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## CaGreg (Mar 28, 2007)

Superk said:


> If I'm picturing what you're trying to do (and lots of pictures have been flashing through my mind) then push the 1" hose over the macerator outlet (bit of soap solution helps) and secure with a jubilee clip.
> 
> I'm suprised the macerator couldn't cope what have you been on? It's supposed to chew up cigars and cigarettes 8O
> 
> Just an afterthought - is enough power getting to the macerator - is it earthed properly?


Is this before or after you have eaten the cigars and cigarettes???


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## Bryan (Aug 9, 2006)

I'm glad I am not the only one to suffer the "Black tank initiation ceremony".

We had a visitor who spent a penny and left the flush running. When we noticed the impending flooding of the RV I panicked and opened the valve without connecting ANY hoses 8O 8O   

And that was without a macerator  

We now have a macerator which we normally use with an occasional full speed, straight empty.


As for your Mother-in-law's present waiting for you - - made me ROFL :lol:


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## 103625 (Mar 28, 2007)

Hi Paul
Sounds like you had plenty of advice couldn't add to it but sorry mate not laughed so much for ages 
talk about in the sh*t

:lol: :lol: 
Tony


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## eddievanbitz (May 1, 2005)

Middle of France, having had 20 foot of macerator hose, full of crap and the macerator pack up ( I later found out that the ladies had been putting "things with string" down the loo without guessing that I had bought a macerator for the holiday Duh how stupid are they for not guessing!)

Anyway, having spent one morning squeezing out the stuff from the pipes I decided that I would not risk another episode until I was sure that the tank was free of anything that would wrap around the impellor and jam the macerator again. So I decided to use to "tote along" Another nice new shiny toy for the holiday (Lyn brings out new clothes and convinces me she has had them years, I pretend to believe her on the understanding that when I bring our new toys from the lockers she ignores them  ) So back to the story! about twenty gallons of poo carefully decanted into my new tank with wheels, and off to the dump I go. Ahh, a toilet set in a very smelly breeze block shed, with mozzies the size of wasps and a smell that I could not begin to describe.

The mozzies hummed with anticipation as I approached the foul smelling shack, I guess it was imagination but I am sure the buzzing got louder as they anticipated a drop of good English blood with a a bit of rum in it.

I hosted the tank up onto the toilet rim, and my brand new shiny tank immediately slid back off onto the floor with a resounding crack and splash a semi viscous liquid over my sensible cladded feet (flip flops) I ignored the desire to hose of my feet and run from the smell and the feeling of mosquitoes crawling through my hair (easy to ignore as I have none) 

The second attempt was more successful! By jamming the two wheels of the tote tank against the angle of the old loo, I could safely raise the tote tank to about 90 degrees to allow the poo to drain from the tank.

I removed the 3" bottom cap and watched the contents start to glug out and an incredibly slow rate. My legs are splashed with other peoples crap and urine, my (new) flip flops are soaking up the contents of the floor, I am using my groin to keep pressure on the tank to stop it falling back off the loo and waving both my hands around like a windmill to keep the stuka type mosquito attacks from affecting me all the while shallow breathing to avoid getting too much of the offended smells into my body.

It is at this time that the devil in you starts to raise its ugly head, and suggests that if I were to remove the top 3" cap this would allow the air to flow into the tank, thus allowing a faster discharge which would mean that I could leave the smelly mozzies infested place that much quicker and after a hose down get back to my wife, family and mates and carry on drinking Captain Morgan!

So without a moments thought or worry I remove the top cap. The eeffect was iinstantaneous and very impressive! The dribble of poo became a raging torrent, so much so that the pressure raised the discharge into a sort of arc which missed the bowl of the chemical waste, hit the tiled wall behind ran down the wall dividing at the toilet base and flowed back out of the door having washed all over my feet to about ankle depth! I jumped back, which of course removed the pressure on the tote tank allowing it once more to slide off and hit the floor, but of course this time the cap was off allowing the contents to splash up my shirt straight into my disbeleiving downturned face!

One hour later and a hosed out chemical disposal point I threw away my clothes and new flip flops and nipped naked into the shower and scrubbed what seemed like hours to remove the smell.

So don't feel bad! we all have problems from time to time!


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## johng1974 (Jan 17, 2007)

eddie..

er

thanks


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## wobby (May 1, 2005)

This has to be the best post I've read, still on the floor laughing. it hurts so much. As a plumber I can advise that American thread sizes, gallons, and just about every thing else is different to ours. Hope you get things!- sorted out!- and thanks for a good laugh. Wobby


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## 95633 (Jul 4, 2005)

YES !!

I don't feel so bad now.

Paul


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## RedSonja (May 22, 2006)

Having had a really BAD day at work. I can only say thank god for this forum. I laughed so much (Sorry!) Just visualising Paul and then Eddie well I'm feeling much better Now. Thanks for sharing.
Sonja :lol:


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## gromett (May 9, 2005)

I daren't laugh, my next project on the Van is to replace the thetford cassette in my van with a full RV style one maserator and all. Laughing would be tempting fate I think.

Tanks for the stories chaps.

Karl


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## Bryan (Aug 9, 2006)

Eddie,

You made both me and the wife (Suzy) laugh so much it hurt. 

Thanks for sharing, makes me feel a whole lot better about my minor incident.

Top post.

Regards
Bryan


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## Superk (Aug 22, 2005)

Eddie
Has someone slipped you a copy of my forthcoming book? - it's nearly identical to the experience I describe.


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## eddievanbitz (May 1, 2005)

Hi Superk

Would this be the book called Harry Potty and the Smelly Chamber pot of Poo by W C Rowling


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## Superk (Aug 22, 2005)

Very similar - 'How Katie Pulled Boris' - please don't sue for plagiarism when you hopefully read it.


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## eddievanbitz (May 1, 2005)

Are you really writing a book? I have always wanted to write, but time and lack of skill Oh and a meaning full and interesting plot, the inabiiliity to spell or :;;Punctuate, = have always seemed to stand in my way.

I have suggested to my wife Lyn many times that if she were to let me stay up all night with a bottle of rum and some cheroots (thats what Wilber Smith uses and he writes good books) and lets me sleep all day that I could produce a best seller! Trouble is she believes me, so I would have to face the horrible truth a week or so later that I had bought the entire contents offered on QVC, drank all of the rum and had produced nothing intelligent on paper and maxed out the credit card buying stuff after drinking the rum and smoking the cheroots!

I tried being a ghost writer once, but my spirit wasn't in it! 8O 

I think I will have to read your book instead superK When is it out?


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## Bikerbabewing (Feb 22, 2007)

GUYS
Thank you so much for that, I haven't laughed so much for ages. :lol: The images that keep popping into my head are indiscribable. :lol: I think I will be laughing on and off for the rest of the evening :lol: :lol: 

You realy made my day :wink: :wink: 

Wendy


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## Superk (Aug 22, 2005)

Very soon Eddie - Tony Toons is just finishing the cover design.


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## 101411 (Oct 15, 2006)

Hi Paul

Great post had me rolling round the floor!!!! :lol: :lol: 

Theres just 1 question I have to ask to everyone with a maserator. Why???

Ive been Rvin for over 5 years and never ever needed one, whats the big deal about lifting the jacks and driving a few hundred yards to the dump point?? Its good for the coach to be moving, good for the engine to be running and good for the tyres and prevents flat spots. Its also a hell of a lot better than sharing you MIL internal workings!!! 8O 8O 

Just wondered what the big facination is with them. I personally think the RV bog is a great design its simple, quick and very easy to use, why complicate things with electric gadgets that it was never designed to be used with in the first place??? 8O 
Dazzer


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## Superk (Aug 22, 2005)

When the only disposal point is a 'WC Chimique' behind the toilet block and uphill and no where near a driveable road the macerator comes as a mighty relief - if you see what I mean - otherwise you're into Eddie's scenario.


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## annetony (May 1, 2005)

This is the funniest posting I have read today, :lol: :lol: , I have visions in my mind and can't stop laughing :lol: :lol: really cheered me up, :lol: :lol: thanks for that

Anne


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## G2EWS (May 1, 2006)

Hi Paul,

Don't want to laugh just commiserate!

With regards to fittings I suggest you search out a Pirtek, they have just about everything you need. Linda is correct with regards to the US and UK fittings and this is probably your problems.

Regards

Chris
ps Mother in Law jokes take on a whole new meaning!


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