# Swearing At Work (Only read if not easily offended)



## G2EWS (May 1, 2006)

Staff Warning - Swearing at Work 


Dear Employees 

It has been brought to management's attention that some individuals
throughout the company have been using foul language during the
course of normal conversation with their colleagues. 

Due to complaints received from some employees who may be easily
offended, this type of language will no longer be tolerated. 

We do, however, realise the critical importance of being able to
accurately express your feelings when communicating with colleagues. 

Therefore, a list of 13 New and Innovative 'TRY SAYING' phrases have
been provided so that proper exchange of ideas and information can
continue in an effective manner. 

1. 
Try Saying: 
I think you could do with more training 
Instead Of: 
You don't have a f***ing clue, do you? 

2. 
Try Saying: 
She's an aggressive go-getter. 
Instead Of: 
She's a f***ing power-crazy b*tch 

3. 
Try Saying: 
Perhaps I can work late 
Instead Of: 
And when the f*** do you expect me to do this? 

4. 
Try Saying: 
I'm certain that isn't feasible 
Instead Of: 
F*** off a*se- hole 

5. 
Try Saying: 
Really? 
Instead Of: 
Well f*** me backwards with a telegraph pole 

6. 
Try Saying: 
Perhaps you should check with... 
Instead Of: 
Tell someone who gives a f***. 

7. 
Try Saying: 
I wasn't involved in the project. 
Instead Of: 
Not my f***ing proble m . 

8. 
Try Saying: 
That's interesting. 
Instead Of: 
What the f***? 

9. 
Try Saying: 
I'm not sure this can be implemented 
within the given timescale. 
Instead Of: 
No f***ing chance mate. 

10. 
Try Saying: 
It will be tight, but I'll try to schedule it in 
Instead Of: 
Why the f*** didn't you tell me that yesterday? 

11. 
Try Saying: 
He's not familiar with the issues 
Instead Of: 
He's got his head up his f***ing a*se. 

12. 
Try Saying: 
Excuse me, sir? 
Instead Of: 
Oi, f*** face. 

13. 
Try Saying: 
Of course, I was only going to be at home anyway 
Instead Of: 
Yeah, who needs f***ing holidays anyway


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## DABurleigh (May 9, 2005)

Now, if I could be certain this wouldn't fall foul of the work's PC firewall, I'd distribute it! 

Dave


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## sylke (Sep 10, 2007)

Thanks for the laugh, was feeling rotten with the cold,that really cheered me up.


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## carolgavin (May 9, 2005)

Snigger!!


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## some-where-in-oxford (Apr 18, 2006)

Try Saying:
Sorry this has been posted before,
Instead of
Another f*****g repost


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## Rapide561 (Oct 1, 2005)

*Swearing*

Hi

I had a leaflet about the F word. It stated the many, many uses of the word, which was unique in the English language as the word could be used as

noun

verb

adverb

adjective

imperative

and many more!

Russell


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## mangothemadmonk (Aug 6, 2006)

Seen that Russ. Now that is funny lol

Johnny F


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