# skin Cancer



## aldra

albert has a growth on his arm

he should have had it checked out earlier

We won't know for certain but it's looking like melanoma but he thought it was just a big cyst

for all my medical background I know little about skin cancer

But this one seems to be one of the worse

Feeling very anxious

Don't know how to manage without him

He's always been there for almost 50 yrs

Aldra


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## 113016

Aldra, I know where you are coming from as I recently had a similar scare. I now keep out of the sun, or I should say, I keep out more than I did. Get Albert checked out, and think lucky, it could easily be pre cancer, which is a warning!
Good luck!


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## listerdiesel

Most are treatable and not always cancerous, Rita had one on her back by the shoulder blade, had it removed but a tiny part remained and it has grown again, but GP says not malignant.

Get Albert into the quacks asap.

Peter


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## aldra

he has been checked and is waiting for a Biopsy in the next week

it's very raised so it depends to what depth it's gone
As to the prognosis

aldra


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## teemyob

*chin up*

Chin Up Aldra!

Doubt he will be going anywhere yet!.

My Mate had a serious bout of Skin Cancer years back. I still see him everyday because he is our Postman.

Best Wishes.

Trev.


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## Penquin

I had a malignant melanoma and associated lymph nodes removed about 6 years ago and the follow up was superb.

Firstly DO NOT PANIC

Secondly - see Rule 1.

My first removal was done under local and took about 20 minutes, that then went for biopsy and 10 days later I got a letter which caused me, MrsW and my GP daughter to panic...... the consultant was, of course, not available.......

He rang me the following morning and told me that I should NOT have received that letter, he explained that they wanted me back to check the sentinel lymph node - where the lymph drained to after passing the malignancy - just in case there were signs of malignant cells there.

That was fascinating - they used radioactive technetium and traced where it went (I was given a screen so I could see too after asking)

The surgery went ahead and all was removed - they take a wider/deeper swathe from around the site to ensure clear. That was then checked and I started regular checks.

Alll was clear - it had been there for quite a while but had not spread even though it was of the worst type possible.

So let the NHS treat him - it may be uncomfortable but the prognosis can be good. Reassure him and yourself (and Shadow) and see how things pan out - I will happily give anyone who wants much more detail but this is an open forum. 


There is a great deal of support available and they will explain every single step as and when you need it .

You are welcome to contact me if that would help so that I can explain more fully what happens, but above all 

remember Rule 1 - DON'T PANIC.

Dave


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## Wilmannie

Dear Aldra
I'm so very sorry to read your post and very much hope that when all the investigations are completed the scenario will not be so frightening for you both. 
If this a serious growth, then you know how much cancer treatments have advanced over the last few years and, with your background, you will certainly ensure that Albert has the best treatment available. 
We've been married close to 53 years so i can fully appreciate your anxiety but dont get panicy too soon. Maybe you'll have to be strong for you both for a little while. You usually have such a very positive attitude and approach towards problems and that will help you now.
keep your chin up. You have a good family and so many friends and they will all want help.
Best wishes for better news soon.


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## camallison

To help put your mind at rest, I had a large cancerous growth on my forearm and had it removed and the various other procedures to ensure no spread or return ......... 34 years ago.

Now just think how medical research and procedures have advanced since then.

I can assure you I am still here, healthy and fit (apart from Arfur-itis of course).

DON'T PANIC!!!!

Colin


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## aldra

it's true

And my first thoughts are so selfish

I cannot imagine life without him

Please God that will never be

He is my life

And the cornerstone of his family, I'm always here, but he holds everything together quietly and securely and that includes all son and daughter in laws

aldra


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## coppo

Here's hoping the results are not as bad as you fear Sandra.

Albert is a smashing fellow even though I only met him for the weekend.

Regards

Paul.


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## aldra

bless you all

this is a most beautiful site

So many lovely people so ready to help and reassure

Sandra


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## jedi

Wishing you well, Sandra, and hoping your worst fears are completely unfounded and you have many more happy years together ahead of you.

Jed


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## Suenliam

Don't write him off just yet :wink: You will know waiting for the diagnosis is the worst possible time. Once you really know what the problem is then you can start to tackle it. As others have said there have been incredible advances in cancer treatments over the years and so many people are here to tell the tale.

All the best to you, Albert and Shadow.

Sue


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## Jamsieboy

Best wishes Sandra (and Albert) and hoping that the biopsy is clear.
Great strides in medical treatment over recent years so if further work is necessary be confident that something can be done to sort Albert out.
Thinking of you and the wider family.
Cheers
Jamsie


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## bigbadbarry

Hi Sandra

As others have said, don't worry yet. Cancer isn't the death sentence it once was. Many people live with cancer for many years and others are cured.
The word cancer instils fear in people and we need to change this as 50% of us will get it at some time as we are all living longer.

He ain't gone yet so don't fret (easy to say from here I know).

The trick with cancer is to get checked and get treatment as soon as possible.

Good luck, you seem to be nice peeps from your posts.

Tony


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## Cazzie

Best wishes to you both.

You've always made this forum a cheery place to visit so lets hope we can all help you through this worrying time.

Cazzie


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## motormouth

Really hope all turns out well. Stay positive and look after the old bugger. This is when you girls show just how strong you are.


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## Phil42

So sorry to hear this news Sandra.

You've given so much help and support to people on here. I will never forget your support you gave me during a very scary time with Suet at a very difficult time. It's obvious that there are loads of people ready to help and support you and Albert now.

I'm sure you will have been reassured by people's stories - and will keep coming back for more as and when it's needed.

As several people have said, there have been so many advances in cancer treatment over the years that it is no longer a case of automatically fearing the worst.

And Albert is a really lucky guy to have you at his side. 

Love and best wishes,

Phil


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## teemyob

*Sandra*

How are we this morning Sandra?

Trev.


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## cypsygal

Sorry to hear this news, stay strong Aldra. You give so much support to people on here, now it's your turn to be supported - and you will be. Thinking of you both, and wishing for the best outcome.

Lynda


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## HermanHymer

Hi Sandra

Just saw your post and thinking of you. By chance I'm just writing some fundraising material for CANSA (Cancer Assn of SA) and the topic is skin cancer. Been liaising with an ex-Rhodie skin-cancer patient. www.cansa.org.za have very accurate and informative Fact Sheets you might find helpful, seeing skin cancer is much bigger problem in Africa than in UK.

Please ensure you get to see a dermatologist. I got my son to a SA dermatologist on his last visit and he suggested a biopsy on "suspect" lesion. I eventually nagged him to visit GP who brushed it off as not at risk, despite the written recommendation. (Yes the opinion of a young, inexperienced British GP seems to hold more weight than that of a specialist dermatologist with bucketful of experience in skin cancer!)

Doing the mother thing I wrote a letter explaining the risk profile, chapter and verse, and insisted on a second opinion! Well long story short even UK dermatologist brushed off the lesion as inconsequential, and removed a small benign cyst from his face (which was not a bad thing).

For info of all who read this, please know and pass on where relevant, descendants of malignant melanoma patients should be alert and check skin as necessary, regardless of age/sun exposure as it has a hereditary element.

Hope it's nothing too serious. Try not to worry but undoubtedly you will until you know.

Wishing you both strength and everything of the best!


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## Christine600

Like many others I know the feeling you get before you know the answer of the biopsy. Both my siblings have been there and I have myself.

Hopefully Albert will get the same message we did.


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## blondel

Thinking of you Sandra. Stay strong for both your sakes. You sound as if you have a wonderful family and I am sure they will be a great support at this worrying time.


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## aldra

Not saying anything to the family

No use worrying them until we know

More or less sure

But as yet no idea if there is a spread to worry about need to wait for biopsy

Aldra


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## 747

I am sure that the outcome will be a good one Sandra.

Keep your chin up girl. :wink:


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## anneandgeorge

*Skin cancer forums*

In 2003 I had malignant melanoma on my back, right shoulder. The day I went to the dermatologist and he told me there and then I was shocked. He cut it out straight away and sent it off to the lab. I was called back for more to be cut out because he was right in the diagnosis. I had a fair few stitches inside and out but they caught it. I had check ups for a few years and now keep an eye on all freckles, moles etc. It was my son who actually noticed that a mole didn't look quite right that made me go to the doctor in the first place who referred me to the hospital. So there is life after skin cancer if it turns out to be that. Obviously the earlier its caught the better. I also know of several other people who have survived it. Keep your chin up , we do have good medical professionals in Britain.


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## Penquin

Your story sounds very similar to mine and I agree the care given me was first-rate, that continued for the next five years and there was someone that I could speak to 24/7 if I wanted to ask a question.....

I am sure that my experience has been echoed by very many around happily now.

Dave


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## commuter

my very best wishes to the two of you. Don't forget we're tough old things and the human body is more resilient than we think.


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## aldra

Would love to say I'm feeling positive

But I'm feeling really down and anxious 

Albert is feeling Ok, but I think it's for me

Shoudnt say it on herei

But I'm so frightened

Really sorry, Shoud not have said that

Aldra


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## bellabee

Of course you're frightened, Sandra. In your situation most of us would be. I certainly would.
One of the worst things, though is not knowing what the situation actually is. Once you've had expert opinion and been given information, you'll be able to formulate your plan. You'll know what you're dealing with ( and in all probability it will not be as bad as you're fearing)and you'll be able to take positive steps to tackle it.
In the meantime, I'm keeping my fingers crossed for you both.
My Mum had a malignant melanoma removed from her face about 15 years ago - and she's still going strong - aged 89!
Chris


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## MEES

Come on Sandra 8O Don't dust off the policies just yet  

Have just come back from taking mum (85) to have a skin cancer removed on local aenesthetic been going on for 10 years and she is in great health generally.

Its hard not to panic. :? :? :? 

Even IF its bad news its no use living the nightmare before it happens then when it happens and after it happens.

Hope it all turns out well - get your next trip planned    

Sending you lots of love and hugs

Margaret x


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## aldra

Margaret , tonight I really need those hugs

Just feel so annxois

How any times in the last almost 50 yrs has he been a pain in the neck

And why does his family love him to death???

Prob the same reason I do, he just makes every thing right

sandra


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## MEES

One thing about this level of fear Sandra is that you have already faced the worst case scenario

This means you can and will face and deal with anything up to and including the worst case scenario.

Try really hard have a big sherry 8O 

When will you know more?

margaret


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## aldra

Aweek Thursday

They will remove it and send it for biopsy 

I can't believe we let it get so big

sandra


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## Penquin

I will add my hugs to Margaret's.

Dave


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## aldra

Tonight I need them

Thanks Dave


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## simandme

HUGS - lots and lots and lots!!!

(I tired to find a hugging emoticon, but the closest I found was this: :3some: )

My friend was diagnosed with breast cancer (again) a week before Xmas and had surgery Xmas eve - I was her support as her hubby was away for work. 15 years later she is still going strong. Pls take comfort from our words - stay positive - I know how hard it is!

Keep expressing your feelings to us - that's what were here for, as you have been to so many others. Then you can be the tower of strength that you know Albert and your family will need. 

If I prayed then I would pray for you both, but I eat chocolate - so will eat a special bar of chocolate instead :wink: 

Simone


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## aldra

I believe 

But I don't believe that God would grant me special priviliges over others

I hope he would not because all prayers are equally important

So

Your bar of chocolate sounds good to me

I'll settle for that

Aldra


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## MEES

Don't forget the (double) sherry its fortified.

Night Night

Hug

Margaret


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## tony50

aldra said:


> albert has a growth on his arm
> 
> he should have had it checked out earlier
> 
> We won't know for certain but it's looking like melanoma but he thought it was just a big cyst
> 
> for all my medical background I know little about skin cancer
> 
> But this one seems to be one of the worse
> 
> Feeling very anxious
> 
> Don't know how to manage without him
> 
> He's always been there for almost 50 yrs
> 
> Aldra


 ,I have had experience of this and feel for you , I wish him well . touch wood I have been ok for years thank the Lord.

Tony A.


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## Christine600

Sandra you are allowed to be frightened - also on here.
It's a way for your friends here to help you.


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## aldra

Christine

Thanks my love


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## simandme

Morning Sandra

If you think the chocolates might help, then I will eat as many as possible. :wink: 

Seriously though, stay strong, the days (and nights) will roll by. Try and do something nice, just the three of you - I find quiet time/walking in a beautiful place helps to soothe the soul.



:gotglitter:


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## bulawayolass

My Dad was diagnosed wi5h skin cancer when l was about 10 had various sites frozen and removed from his mainly face and hands over the years passed 3 yrs ago from old age.

My godmother diagnosed about same time with same passed about 15yrs ago unrelated cancer

Can l point out thatyou so busy worrying about Albert if you not careful you wont see the bus that hits you. In other words take care dontbe blinded and have an accident Albert needs you not just the other way.


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## AuntieSandra

Just seen this post. Sorry Sandra, your posts were so helpful and kept me going when uncleNorman was so poorly.

Stay positive and just one word of advice.
Tell the family.
I did straight away and they were such a support.
I couldn't have done without them.

An enormous hug from me.
Xxx


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## aldra

Thanks Sandra

We will tell the family but after he has his biopsy set for next Friday and we have the results

maybe we are more worried than we need to be at this point in time and I don't want them upset before we have the facts

Think of you often and was so pleased when you posted about your trip to Chatsworth

Take care of yourself xx

Sandra


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## aldra

Spoke to the specialist nurse and she's brought the appointment forward by a day to next wed

Feeling a bit better as she says the guy whose doing it will not be doing a biopsy, he will remove the whole thing and and area around it and will leave nothing in the primary site

Further tests will be needed and Possibally a greater area removed in theatre to ensure a wide margin depending on results

Thanks all of you for putting up with my anxiety and giving me support

Albert is stronger about it than me but I will get my head round it or turn into an alcoholic, whichever comes first :lol: 

sandra


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## motormouth

That sounds a bit more positive Aldra. Now will you stop worrying, you are driving us all to drink, not that you have to drive very far. :lol:


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## MEES

Now that's sounding a lot more positive  

Why not get away in van for a few days - break it up.

You wont be able to hide it from the family on Friday :lol: :lol: 

The weather is going to be good- we are heading for Alnick-see the castle gardens then creep up toward Edinburgh :lol: 

keep on drinking :lol: :lol: 

hug hug 

Margaret


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## aldra

We will Margaret

Not having them worry until we know the facts

meg is home from Zante early hours of Friday and Granddad will be there to meet her 8O as he is from almost everything she does

They text each other constantly a lovely relationship between a 19 yr old and her granddad, she has great taste

You have a fantastic trip

Sandra


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## simandme

I'm so pleased my chocolate eating and your prayers has got your hubby an earlier appointment. :wink: 

One of the hardest things about illness is the loss of control - so good for you for grabbing some of that back! (plus one less sleep).

I too was lucky enough to have a wonderful granddad and I'm sure Albert will be around for a lot more of her life!


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## suedew

Sandra, have only just seen this post, glad you are sounding more positive, but the waiting is always the worst. easier to cope when we know what we are dealing with. 
Hugs to you both.

Sue x


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## aldra

Thanks Sue

Such positive response from those I hope I can call my friends

Even if many are on line ones

Although you transcended that when we met you in our home

sandra


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## aldra

Well tomorrow it will be removed

Know it doesnt make sense but I have grown to hate it

And want it cut out

The next stage we will have to face together

Hoping it will be ????

Hadn't ever realised that I cannot ask in prayer but need to leave it in His hands

It's harder than I imagined

aldra


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## Wilmannie

But we can ask in prayer for you both and will do so.


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## aldra

Thank you Annie

I have this feeling that all should be equal

And God should not grant me differently than others nor will he

we cannot see the bigger picture

I just hope it grants us more time

aldra


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## simandme

Grants you more time?!?!

Honey, push those negative thoughts away.

Let the positive thoughts come through. 

You will reach your golden jubilee wedding anniversary and we all be there to celebrate with you!!

Simone

:wink:


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## Wilmannie

I hope so too Aldra. 

I'm sure we all do on this forum. You have so many friends here and we're right behind you.


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## rosalan

Another late arrival here, so sorry!
You have always been the quiet strong one and now your chap needs you to be that cool reliable strong one. No doubt he is showing a brave face but like the rest of us would be, churning inside. Share your worries here until all is known, then come back here again to celebrate.
God Bless you both!

Alan


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## aldra

I don't feel very strong at the moment

But you lot keep me going

Sometimes I forget that Albert has always been the kingpin in our large family

He has always been the strength and still is now

Should be me at the moment, but let's get this thing off and take it from there

Aldra


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## simandme

Morning

Well, the big day got here fast! Waiting is hard and horrible, so at least one hurdle is out of the way.

I hope everything goes ok today. Will keep all my fingers and toes crossed for you and Albert.

Simone


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## Jamsieboy

Best wishes for today go to Sandra and Albert.


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## DrRoger

Hi Sandra,
Hope & pray all is good for you both today.

I have apparently a lot of melanin that means I go brown very quickly & also have loadsa moles. Had a changing one removed from my face some years ago. Then last December GP had a look at others that seemed to be changing. Had a quick consultation thanks to Benenden Healthcare-a 'basal cell carcinoma' that was removed under local anaesthetic 2 weeks later. All is well.

I discovered that uv radiation that may have a connection with skin cancer can affect you even through T-shirts or on cloudy days. I've invested in clothes that block UV (Rohan) & high-factor sunscreen.

The god that I believe in has a limitless supply of _agape _love so praying for good stuff for self or anyone ain't selfish!

All the very best,

Roger


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## Suzysetter

Thinking of you both today.
Sue


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## suedew

Thinking of you both.
Sue x


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## HermanHymer

Thought of you both waking up this morning and knowing today was the day. At least the anxiety will be over and you can deal with whatever lies ahead. With you, hoping for the very best outcome. 95% of skin cancers can be cured and that's a good score. Just don't entertain any thoughts about the other 5%.

Waiting anxiously to hear your feedback.


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## Baron1

Sandra,
Just seen this post, thinking of you both today, be positive, I am sure that all will be OK. 

As Viv says 95% of skin cancers are curable so the odds are very definitely in Alberts favour.

I am a great believer in positive thinking and I will be thinking positively for you both today.

Love Mel.


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## aldra

thank you all for your warm wishes

he has had the tumour removed and has 13 Stiches 

The nurse that removed it said he had got all it, now waiting for path lab report and then they will prob/ operate to take a wider area of skin around the site and start a series of tests on the lymph pathways

We will need to wait and see, expect to see the consultant when the path lab report comes back 

aldra


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## Dibbles1

Best wishes Aldra

Thinking of you both.

{{HUGS}}


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## MEES

Just got back from Scotland and have been thinking of you both.

Glad stage 1 has gone ok. When do you get the results.

Chin up Hugs

margaret


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## Bubblehead

Hi

Just picked up on the thread. I've been there and done it. I had a small mole which I couldn't remember been there about a year earlier, it grew in size by about 4 times over 6 weeks or so and was more pronounced that before, a red line then appeared around it and it started to bleed.

At this point I was waiting for a hospital appointment and was quite concerned about it, but I thought there's no point in getting all stressed as there was nothing I could do. A few days prior to the appointment a large part of it fell off, I was feeling a bit of a fraud when I saw the doctor but he took one look and cut the rest out. it was sent for test and all was OK.

It just shows that despite all the really bad signs it can be OK and not need on going treatment.

Hope all is OK and you get the results soon and you can put it all behind you.

Andy


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## aldra

it's not Ok

at least we have been led to believe

We need to wait till the next stage when the lymph spread is checked

It's our fault, we left it too long

But even so it may just be possible

Aldra


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## Wilmannie

So glad to hear the inital surgery is done and there is a more positive tone to your post. you've taken the first steps, now it's one step at a time. Good luck, all good wishes. xxx


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## aldra

Annie thanks 

Just trying to stay positive 

You lot on here are helping me

Not sure I am helping Albert to the same extent

But he isn't giving up his position of king pin in our family

Sandra


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## Dibbles1

aldra said:


> Not sure I am helping Albert to the same extent


Oh but you are  believe me you are 

Debs


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## Wilmannie

And if Albert is still holding his king-pin position, then his attitude is positive too! Bless you both, xxx


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## suedew

More waiting, keep positive and get out there and enjoy yourselves.

sue


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## aldra

Would love to Sue

But it's not going to happen

The daily routine

Shadows walk, cleaning, garden maintenance, fish and birds, family

These are the familiar staff of life

And at the moment it's one foot in front of another in a familiar routine

And a awareness that our familiar routine is really a bit special  

aldra


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## Penquin

Life for the next few days or couple of weeks will not be as relaxed as usual, so what?

You have gone through worse things together and you both give the other one 110% support.

No-one knows yet what the next stage will be - but the longest journey starts with a single footstep and you have already taken several massive paces forward together......

That is what you two do best - be together, so simply spend time together while the next stage becomes clear and then go forward to that, together. No change at all there from your normal routine.

We will all be thinking of you as you face the wait - it is not easy but every minute / hour / day gone is one that you will not have to go through again.

Dave


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## aldra

Dave

Sending you my love  

Aldra


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## listerdiesel

Chin up, life has its ups and downs, that's a given, but you have family and everyone on here to help if needed.

XXXX

Peter


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## aldra

We are beginning to chill

Nothing can be done at the moment and life must go on

One daughter has sussed it out, faced with a wound with 13 stitches , hardly a mole removal but as we have said

Say nothing to the others

No point in them worrying
Albert is pleased as she will order a pack and remove his stitches, she is of course a nurse

He is such a wimp  

Can now cancel the appointment at the clinic so is happy

Aldra


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## listerdiesel

Good on you both :greenjumpers: 

Peter


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## locovan

Sandra I have just seen this and Im so pleased they have been able to cut it all out. Now relax as the last few weeks must have been so awful.
I think today is a day when we should say how to prevent as it is going to be so hot and so we are now all aware what skin cancer is like, and the worry it has caused you.

The following steps may help to reduce your risk of skin cancer.

Protect yourself in the sun and don't let your skin burn. If you're outdoors between 11am and 3pm use a sunscreen with an SPF (sun protection factor) of at least 15 and cover up with suitable clothing and a wide-brimmed hat.
Don’t use sunbeds.
Check your skin and any moles regularly. If you see any changes and they don’t improve within four to six weeks, see your doctor.
Live a healthy lifestyle. Eating a healthy, balanced diet, maintaining a healthy weight, drinking sensibly and not smoking may help to protect against skin cancer.


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## simandme

aldra said:


> Dave
> 
> Sending you my love
> 
> Aldra


Well, I know when life gets tough, people change...but have you really given up on barryd?!? 8O

Glad to hear that you have a personal nurse on hand :wink:


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## MEES

Glad you have your daughters support you will both feel better for it


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## aldra

Well it's not good news

The primary tumour was well advanced so the chances are its already spread

The average prognoses is just that so maybe we will be lucky and be on the higher end of the average

At present w are both on a 40 day juice and vegetable freshly juiced fast to give the body a clear out and fresh start

who knows it may well help

Aldra


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## Penquin

PM sent.

That report is EXACTLY what I was given about 8 years ago......

Dave


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## Christine600

aldra said:


> who knows it may well help


I'm crossing my fingers!


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## Wilmannie

Dear Sandra & Albert,

So sad that you have to face this awful problem but glad to see that 

you're both immediately into fighting the cancer with any weapon you 

can. I hope the detox diet gives you good ammunition and that you're 

heartened by the support of subscribers like Dave who have faced this 

cancer and won. Best wishes for long term success.


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## MEES

Good luck Albert and Sandra  

You are doing the right thing starting to fight the nasty :lol: 

Hope you are both able to continue to be positive -after all the negative option is not in your nature.  

We are all thinking of you and praying for you. :lol: :lol: 

Margaret x


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## oldtart

Dear Sandra and Alan

I have just seen this.

I just want you to know that you are in my thoughts and hope that you have a positive outcome.

You have supported, advised and helped so many people on this site, Sandra, now as I'm sure you will see from the postings this is being returned for you both. 

Val


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## carol

Sandra not the best news but having read Dave had same prognosis I trust Albert will too 

Please send him our best wishes from Duncan and me with our love to you so you can give him a hug from us 




Carol


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## bigtree

Aldra,

I know exactly how you both feel,I ignored my symptoms for a while before seeking treatment and am still here 4 and a half years later,thinking of you both .

Trev.


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## zappy61

*Skin Cancer*

All the best to you and Albert, I'm sure things will be OK.

Graham


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## simandme

Sandra - sorry to hear the news isn't the best...but (from your posts) you seem like a battler! You got Shadow through his problems and I'm positive that you can do the same for you hubby!!

Keep your chins up :wink: 

Simone


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## JockandRita

Dear Sandra & Albert, 

I have arrived here via a post on EBS.

I have read all your posts, (and those of others too), and I am so sorry to hear of Albert's skin cancer. You have to try to remain positive (easier said than done, I appreciate), however with Dave and others having been in the same situation, and come away from it some years ago now, there has to be hope on the horizon.

On behalf of Rita and myself, I wish you both all the very best with forthcoming appointments, tests, treatments, etc, and above all, a wish for uplifting results for you both. :thumbright: 

Kindest regards,

Jock.


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## locovan

Good Luck and keep fighting Albert as its being Positive that does get you through --You know I know that and it really does work :wink:


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## HermanHymer

aldra said:


> Well it's not good news
> 
> The primary tumour was well advanced so the chances are its already spread
> 
> The average prognoses is just that so maybe we will be lucky and be on the higher end of the average
> 
> At present w are both on a 40 day juice and vegetable freshly juiced fast to give the body a clear out and fresh start
> 
> who knows it may well help
> 
> Aldra


I'm sorry to hear the news is not the best, but it's not the worst either, so be strong and your (obvious) resilience and courage will see you through. You will undoubtedly get through this.

I have waited a couple of hours to think about this before replying, but I Have to say I am concerned about your current plan to follow a veg and fruit regime.

I'm not touting myself as an expert, but from all I have studied, read, talked, listened and learnt over the years, I have to say I think this is not a wise thing to do, unless endorsed by doctor, of course.

The reason being, Albert needs to have the highest level of stamina and resistance possible, especially if he has to undergo chemotherapy. Therefore a broad spectrum, NATURAL, balanced diet, with a good intake of fibre and a wide variety of micronutrients is best at this time.

Chemo slows down cell multiplication and renewal, destroys good cells as well as bad ones. Blood counts need to be optimum so as to ensure they recover as well as possible in between treatments (iron!). Depriving and depleting the body at this time with a restricted diet will weaken Albert's reserves.

I understand your desire to "fix" things but there's no diet at all that will bring the cancer under control at this stage, not in the slightest.

The time to focus on food and supplementation will be as he recovers AFTER chemo, to restore the immune system defences. His immunity is what has "let him down" and allowed the cancer to get a foothold, but that is not unusual with the ageing process.

There's a lot to learn about cancer, its treatment and recovery, but do be aware there are lots of quacks about who are more than happy to prey on your fears. Make sure your sources of info are reputable. If there's anything I can help you with, please don't hesitate to PM me.

Plus I endorse what Mavis says about being positive (it's non-negotiable)!

My thoughts are with you both and you can count on "us" (your MHF family) to listen to you and support you through whatever lies ahead.


----------



## aldra

it's a detox cleanse Hermin and nothing to do with a cancer cure

The aim to juice as wide a variety of Fruit and veg especially green, leafy varieties
each day,and drink lots of water and lemon juice

energy wise it's a winner

we are due to see the consultant at the end of the month, the wheels of the NHS grind slowly, as he hasn't been scanned we are in limbo

he may not have any spread yet Hopefully, but this type of cancer can pop up anywhere if it isn't caught early enough and isn't particularly sensitive to Chemo

I believe they use drugs to enhance the immune system to slow any growths,they cant be cured unless they are in a place where they can be cut out

as it happens juice enables the intake of far more veg and fruit varieties than one could normally eat so is very high in antioxidants to boost the immune system

40 day fasts are done all over the world by all sorts of people for all sorts of reasons to improve mind body and spirit

I have done a 40 day juice fast for Lent for many years with nothing but beneficial results, the last few years I haven't using my age as an excuse for lack of determination, now I'm on it I remember the benefits

Albert is looking and feeling very well, he is dropping excess fat, everyone is commenting on how well he looks and apart from one daughter no one close knows yet as we are waiting for the next stage of treatment and scans before we tell anyone

again I add, this is not a cancer cure it's a detox of mind body and spirit

Aldra


----------



## Penquin

Thanks for explaining that Sandra - that was exactly what I understood from private discussions with you, but it is good to have your clear explanation and reasoning for all to see and understand.

AFAIK what you are doing can have absolutely no adverse effects - increasing fruit and veg intake is a really sound thing for all of us to do and apart from some specific amino acids fruit and veg contains all the materials required - although the protein content is naturally lower than e.g. meats, but at present that is not an essential consideration.

I, like everyone else, will look forward to some good news over the next few weeks / months / years as things progress - I was told that malignant melanoma is NOT a fast developing cancer - hence why in my case, once they had discovered no sentinel lymph node involvement they were happy that further metastases were unlikely to be found. The sentinel lymph node that they examined under my armpit showed no signs of cancerous, or pre-cancerous cell contamination.

I hope that your next trip to the consultant will bring some positive reassurance that you will be able to share with us all.

Best wishes, of course,

Dave


----------



## HermanHymer

aldra said:


> it's a detox cleanse Hermin and nothing to do with a cancer cure
> 
> The aim to juice as wide a variety of Fruit and veg especially green, leafy varieties
> each day,and drink lots of water and lemon juice
> 
> energy wise it's a winner
> 
> we are due to see the consultant at the end of the month, the wheels of the NHS grind slowly, as he hasn't been scanned we are in limbo
> 
> he may not have any spread yet Hopefully, but this type of cancer can pop up anywhere if it isn't caught early enough and isn't particularly sensitive to Chemo
> 
> I believe they use drugs to enhance the immune system to slow any growths,they cant be cured unless they are in a place where they can be cut out
> 
> as it happens juice enables the intake of far more veg and fruit varieties than one could normally eat so is very high in antioxidants to boost the immune system
> 
> 40 day fasts are done all over the world by all sorts of people for all sorts of reasons to improve mind body and spirit
> 
> I have done a 40 day juice fast for Lent for many years with nothing but beneficial results, the last few years I haven't using my age as an excuse for lack of determination, now I'm on it I remember the benefits
> 
> Albert is looking and feeling very well, he is dropping excess fat, everyone is commenting on how well he looks and apart from one daughter no one close knows yet as we are waiting for the next stage of treatment and scans before we tell anyone
> 
> again I add, this is not a cancer cure it's a detox of mind body and spirit
> 
> Aldra


Feeling good is an important part of feeling positive, so if it's working for you, so much the better!


----------



## aldra

Doesn't stop me worrying about the unknown Herman,

Then I suppose Ill worry about the known

It can be a fine line between positive and realistic hopes

And without the next stage it's hard to know which

Same for everyone in our position I guess

Normal

Aldra


----------



## locovan

Sandra- Cancer is due to a cancer gene which I have and Ray hasnt but detoxing with juice is something we should all do.
It is a regime we cancer patients are encourage to do.
Cut the sugar as well, so really a good healthy diet that has less red meat and more chicken and fish plenty of vegetables and fruit, All the red and purples in the fruit and veg.
Im surviving cancer in a way that is amazing the doctors and the first one in Kent & Canterbury to get to 4th line Chemo with Mesothelioma.
It is a strong positive attitude that is winning over MR Nasty. 
Im at 4 years instead of the 3 months they gave me so Come on Albert you can do it and with Sandra nursing you will get through. :wink:


----------



## rosalan

I have never met you Sandra (my loss) but you and my wife are the same age and profession I believe... nursing. It often seems in our household that my wife, having seen so many different eventualities, always determines the worst when it involves ourselves. Reality usually resolves itself into the usual average outcomes but in truth we would have been better off focussing on the now, like dogs do. They are never aware of potential difficulties and always get the best out of 'now'.
We all hope for the best for Albert which I am sure is the most likely outcome but never waste the joy of 'now'.

This is so easy to say when I am not you but I hope when the time comes, I will be able to practice what I preach here. Beats the hell out of any alternative.

Love

Alan


----------



## HermanHymer

aldra said:


> Doesn't stop me worrying about the unknown Herman,
> 
> Then I suppose Ill worry about the known
> 
> It can be a fine line between positive and realistic hopes
> 
> And without the next stage it's hard to know which
> 
> Same for everyone in our position I guess
> 
> Normal
> 
> Aldra


Aldra your reactions are 100% normal. In the circumstances you'd have to be an automaton not to feel as you do. Cancer IS a big deal - you feel powerless, scared, invaded, fearful, optimistic, pessimistic, encouraging, discouraged, confused, guilty - it doesn't make for restful nights or happy days. It's awful to have to wait so long for answers. It's a long journey, but better days WILL COME. It's 23 years since I was diagnosed with my first cancer, and, like childbirth, I can barely remember it now. The message that kept my spirits up then "More people have been cured of cancer than live in Johannesburg." It was the title of one of CANSA's pamphlets.

CANSA, the Cancer Association of S Africa, with whom I have been associated (as a writer) for 30 years, has been saying for some while now it's believed that 80-90% of cancers are caused by environmental factors, but while they know about some, smoking, BPA's, etc, they believe there are many, many more we haven't got a handle on.

Hence they are focusing their efforts on preventing cancer (diet, exercise, protection, abstention, vaccination, supplementation) and early diagnosis, while the research goes on. There's a lot to know and cancer is not just 1 disease it's a family of more than 200 variations. For anyone who's interested there's a wealth of top-rate information on their website www.cansa.org.za.


----------



## aldra

Don't feel the need to answer

But if anyone is going through this

The lymph node biopsy shows positive, it has spread into the lymph nodes

Don't know whether to go for total lymph node removal under arm, not sure that it changes the final outcome anyway, and it's not without it's risks

I may be Completly wrong and I'm sure a positive mindset is good

But please be careful because I like many others am really struggling

And telling me that I need to be positive just makes me feel that I am failing him

Any way it may still be Ok

And I am just saying sometimes its not so easy 

sorry

Aldra


----------



## Pusser

I have only just seen this post. I know nothing about this disease, but I do hope the outcome will be as you wish for.

I think if it twer me, I would try and do all the things I want to do but haven't done yet. Do some really stupid things and have a good laugh - this will p off Mr Cancer - He don't like happy people he don't - and in the worse case scenario what happens is what happens to all members on here - in fact all humans as well.

If you cannot think of any thing silly or stupid to do to make you giggle then I am sure MHF can come up with some superb suggestions.

Best wishes and love to all


----------



## Penquin

I know exactly what Sandra is facing and feel for her and Albert every step of the way.

There is little that any of us can do or say other than to express our hopes, love and best wishes for both of them.

There are many outstanding support services which have so much to offer if they can be involved - MacMillan in particular have an incredible reputation for the assistance and advice that they can offer.

As regards possible surgery, none of us are in exactly the same position, but I would probably be wary of entering a possible prolonged period of surgery where the outcome is marginal, but that is my opinion sat here and not in either of your shoes.

As you are keenly aware there is a massive amount of love and support offered via MHF - it is one of the most notable features of MHF and reflects superbly on the large number of people involved - I am sure there was never any intention of trying to establish such a feature but it has happened and is always present.

We are all thinking of you both, and hope that you will feel able to keep us informed as things progress,

Dave


----------



## Penquin

I know exactly what Sandra is facing and feel for her and Albert every step of the way.

There is little that any of us can do or say other than to express our hopes, love and best wishes for both of them.

There are many outstanding support services which have so much to offer if they can be involved - MacMillan in particular have an incredible reputation for the assistance and advice that they can offer.

As regards possible surgery, none of us are in exactly the same position, but I would probably be wary of entering a possible prolonged period of surgery where the outcome is marginal, but that is my opinion sat here and not in either of your shoes.

As you are keenly aware there is a massive amount of love and support offered via MHF - it is one of the most notable features of MHF and reflects superbly on the large number of people involved - I am sure there was never any intention of trying to establish such a feature but it has happened and is always present.

We are all thinking of you both, and hope that you will feel able to keep us informed as things progress,

Dave


----------



## Penquin

I know exactly what Sandra is facing and feel for her and Albert every step of the way.

There is little that any of us can do or say other than to express our hopes, love and best wishes for both of them.

There are many outstanding support services which have so much to offer if they can be involved - MacMillan in particular have an incredible reputation for the assistance and advice that they can offer.

As regards possible surgery, none of us are in exactly the same position, but I would probably be wary of entering a possible prolonged period of surgery where the outcome is marginal, but that is my opinion sat here and not in either of your shoes.

As you are keenly aware there is a massive amount of love and support offered via MHF - it is one of the most notable features of MHF and reflects superbly on the large number of people involved - I am sure there was never any intention of trying to establish such a feature but it has happened and is always present.

We are all thinking of you both, and hope that you will feel able to keep us informed as things progress,

Dave


----------



## lalala

Sandra and Albert,
have just read this thread and am sending you all my very best wishes for the best possible outcome. 
This must be so difficult for you both. From what you say you are concentrating on doing the best you can, I think the juice detox is a great idea not least because you can feel in control of what you eat.
Hugs
Lala


----------



## Ian_n_Suzy

Hi,

Just read the thread and wanted to say that we are thinking of you both.

Best Wishes


----------



## Jamsieboy

Best wishes to you Sandra , Albert and your wider family as you decide what's best and cope with the emotional roller coaster that often accompanies serious illness.


----------



## rayrecrok

HI Sandra.

Being away I lose track of what's happening..... I and my Sandra send our love to you both and hope everything gets sorted for the better.


Chin up you two...

Ray.


----------



## aldra

Thank you all for the warm wishes

We know that there was a small amount of cancer cells in two out of the three senital nodes but have been waiting for the team to meet on the 5th to discuss the proposed options and we see the consultant on Friday the 6th

Albert seems to be coping well, he cycles every morning, has got rid of most of his excess weight and looks better than he has for ages. getting as fit as possible can only be good whatever the outcome

Because of the depth of his tumour he was not offered a senital lymph node biopsy and by requesting one we sort of stepped outside of the normal protocol.

Perhaps we should have agreed to wait and see and deal with symptoms as and if spread occurs but at the time that felt like the doctor recommending it had already given up on him

It is difficult to understand melonoma, basically it's a waiting game as I'm sure it is with many forms of cancer and I guess that worrying about future outcomes is a waste of time,they may or may not happen. Anxiety unfortunately does not always follow the path of comman sense and I seem to be worrying enough for both of us. At least I am beginning to lose the incessant fear that he will be dead in 6 months and the nurse practitioner has helped with that

They are sending him for a full scan soon and that and the appointment on Friday frightens me in case there is more bad news.

there is no cure but people do live for a long time with melonoma and hopefully Albert will be one of those who does

The kids all know now and they are very positive about the future I hope they are right

We are just hoping that we may still have a chance of getting away for a few weeks in the van before the weather closes in. We need to take back 
control of our lives and I think some days we are beginning to

Aldra


----------



## barryd

Still praying for the best possible outcome Sandra (there are a lot of churches in France but Im afraid Im a crap Christian!  )

Fingers crossed for the 5th and 6th and then hopefully you can get can get away.

Get yourselves down here for a meet up! Mind you you can forget all that starving and detox stuff if you do!


----------



## motormouth

I can only echo what others have said, really hope there's good news soon.


----------



## suedew

Sandra, will be thinking of you and Albert, on the 5th and 6th especially.
Waiting and wondering is not good, better when we know what we are facing.
You are a great, friendly hospitable couple, wishing only the best for you and your family.

Sue and John


----------



## aldra

recieved a phone call on Monday that there was a cancellation on Tuesday so a slot was available for full body scan

Obviously took it, interpreted Wednesday and would have been available to the team today

appointment tomorrow with the consultant

Kids are feeling positive, their conscensus is he will live longer with skin cancer than he would have with his excess weight, wine and lack of exercise He's 3 stone lighter, drinks a little red wine and cycles about 8 miles a day and then the dog needs walking

so I am the elective " worryer" on behalf of everyone

at least now I have a role  

it's really strange, Albert and I have always been the " support strength"

In the family, we somehow support and make things right for them eventually

I now see the 6 kids in a different light, successful mature people in their own right, remember the oldest is 48 the youngest 41 , it's a bit blurred by the next generation of a 20 yr old grand daughter also needing help through Uni who texts her Grandad several times daily and who now requests we let her know when we return safely from a day out, "You reap what you sow 8O :lol: 

I'm hoping tomorrow is not bad news and realise that the waiting game continues even if it's good

But, and some will not understand this, I have put in Gods Hands and I am still at the stage where I keep taking it back out of His hands to re look and it doesn't look better I want to Him to sort it according to my Will which is not the best but it's very human Many years ago he got us to Israel despite overwhelming odds against and somehow whatever the outcome he will get us through this

keep us in your thoughts it's important to me that you lot that most of you I've never met have become important to me

Aldra


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## Penquin

You and Albert are very definitely in our thoughts and prayers. Trust is never easy to establish and is easily destroyed or damaged, but have faith - things will progress, even if it is two steps forward and one back at times.

We are all thinking of you and hope that the consultant appointment goes well.

Best wishes to both of you,

Dave and Lesley


----------



## coppo

Best of luck for Albert tomorrow.

Regards

Paul.


----------



## motormouth

Aldra/Sandra
You have such a lovely way of putting things. Lots of love to you and Albert.
xx


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## aldra

And you have a lovely way of supporting us

Your humour makes me smile

And underneath you make me feel you really understandxx

sandra


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## barryd

Don't start being nice to motormouth Sandra! You'll never get shot of him now! 

Michelle and I have been thinking about you both all week. Been off line or a couple of days and now 4000ft up in the absolute middle of nowhere I have a mobile signal.

I hope with all my will and heart that the news you receive today is the best possible. This last 24 hours will be the worst yet for you both I imagine. There is nothing you can do I guess until you know. Keep us all informed and I think the whole forum will be thinking of you.

Xx


----------



## HermanHymer

Hi Aldra and Albert

Just a quick message from Coniston-in-the-Rain to say thinking of you both today and hoping the feedback from the specialists is on the right side of the fence. God Bless.

PS Was almost in tears when I read barryd's message. Inside that cheeky brash exterior is a marshmallow heart.


----------



## MEES

Hi9 Sandra and Albert we are on the Isle de Re and have just got a wifi signal for and hour  

Sandra good to hear you are taking control and that the kids have responded so well.

We are thinking of you with everything crossed but may be 'off-line' for a few days now.

We are praying for you both.

love graham and Margaretx


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## bulawayolass

You let him on a bike!!.... do you not know how dangerous that is.

Sending thoughts and extra Angels to you both and your family


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## aldra

Well today turned out well

the scan was clear but we do understand that it would not show small cancer cell deposites

the consultant was lovely, it was so much different than the first " consultation" that we had when we felt we were already too late to be bothered with

She felt that as there were cancer cells in the senital Lymph nodes we should allow her to remove the other lymph nodes under the arm, as removing them now prevents complications that could occur if Albert wait until tumours are palpable if they ever are

she has given us an appointment in two weeks time when she returns from holiday and will book him in for the op if that is his decision

Or if we want to take a holiday first she will sort it out to coincide with that

so, I will leave it in Gods hands and maybe I will not pull it back out so frequently to check on progress

Thank you all for your support, it means so much to know that there are friends out there offering so much genuine concern

Aldra


----------



## Penquin

That to us, seems like excellent news - we are really pleased that the results of the scan are clear.

Please pass on our best wishes to Albert, perhaps a holiday would do both of you a world of good and allow you to go back to the fight rejuvenated.

Just let us know, if you want us to book you in!  

Dave and Lesley


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## bigfrank3

That's really good news, you will be able to get a good nights sleep tonight. 

With all your friends from here behind you Albert will come through strongly. 

Sending all our love and best wishes, Frank and Linda.


----------



## rosalan

At last a window of...


----------



## aldra

Dave 

you two are so great  

I think he will go with the removal of the lymph nodes

Beginning to think that he is unique given the tumour depth

Even she said she does 7 m but yours was 11 m

But every bit that contributes to research counts

Even our insistence on a senital lymph node biopsy in the too late category has I think turned up some surprising statistics

I think but don't know they expected far more advanced invasive cancer in the nodes

We wait and hope

And I am beginning to sort it out with God I don't expect a miracle but together we will sort it whatever the results

aldra


----------



## barryd

Well that does indeed sound encouraging! You must feel some relief I hope. 

Now planning a little jolly sounds like a a plan! 

You could meet up with Dave (penguin) or meet up with Michelle and I  but if I were you I would be on the next plane to the Bahamas! 

Tell Albert I'm very impressed with his fitness regime and weight loss. i tried to follow his example today by walking up a mountain and then rowing the length of lake charpels. I would love to say I feel better for it but I can't move!


----------



## aldra

Barry 

I know why I love you  

if we can't meet up in France I hope you two will meet up with us here

We are really desperate to meet Michelle

As long as she realises I need a toyboy :lol: :lol: 

Mind you I need you to be fit so don't go eating all the wrong food

Love to both of you

And thanks for your prayers

But most of all thanks for just being you  

Sandra


----------



## barryd

Aldra wrote: "Mind you I need you to be fit so don't go eating
all the wrong food"

This isn't a holiday it's a flipping boot camp! I should be an athelete by now it wasn't for all the French temptations!!

Will promise to bring Michelle next time. She can go off cycling with Albert!!


----------



## aldra

great

She can cycle with Albert

You and I alone  

wait he's dropped years and just might tempt her, after all fit, wise and experienced

Do we need a back up plan    ???

sandra


----------



## Penquin

aldra said:


> Dave
> And I am beginning to sort it out with God I don't expect a miracle but together we will sort it whatever the results
> 
> aldra


and that surely represents the miracle, positive attitude is sooooo important - look at Mavis as a role model - she is a truly miraculous lady.......

from whom *ALL* of us can learn a great deal....... 

just never say "Give up" to her - talking without your front teeth is a new experience....... :lol: :lol:

Dave and Lesley


----------



## aldra

autie Sandra

iIt means so much to me to see you have read this post

I think of you often and feel humbled how you have coped

But remembering Uncle Norman and the powerful legacy he left you

I really hope that things are edging towards easier

Much love

sandra


----------



## Kaytutt

That sounds like good news and I am very happy for you both

My Husband and I had quite a health scare yesterday which in the end turned out to be nothing very much to worry about but I expect I got a teensy taste of what you both have been through 

onwards and upwards 
:wink:


----------



## Christine600

I'm so glad to read about the good news!


I remember from a similar situation where I was really worried and after a while got the good news - it wasn't as serious as it first appeared to be. It took me several days to allow my self to relax. Hope you get there soon! :grouphuuug:


----------



## HermanHymer

It brought a big smile to my heart to see you laughing and joking again. Lovely news!!!


----------



## locovan

Well at long last you are positive again. Well done the result is good. Now relax and have the holiday that you deserve. :wink:


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## aldra

I agree Mavis

but I would add that I'm sure many people go through a period of desolation and need time to come to terms with the shock, particularly when viewed as a statistic that isn't looking good

so yes positive thinking is really good, but remembering that for some positive moments are very hard to find

it was for me and will be for others, some of us just need time to work it through

And telling us to succeed we need to be positive ( not that you did) is not always that helpful at a moment in time, it only adds to the feeling of failure and hopelessness

I feel much better and I can now help others who find themselves in my position

aldra


----------



## Penquin

I think any of us faced with the sort of news that Aldra and Mavis faced would feel more than a little unhappy.....

Elisabeth Kubler-Ross talked about the pattern of grief following bereavement or personal trauma and defined the five stages of grief;

Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, Acceptance

in her superb work;

( On Death & Dying, Elisabeth Kübler-Ross, 1969. Interpretation by Alan Chapman 2006-2013.)

More details can be found on this page;

Grief Cycle

This pattern of behaviour was explained to us in our work with the ambulance service since we could never be sure what reception we would get when we attended a serious (Cat A) incident - where there was a "life threatening" event. Some people responded more aggressively than others.......

Such behaviour is typical for all of us, and it takes time to go through such processes, but the outcome of the consultations so far sounds very positive and we are all looking forward to hearing more upbeat news as you enjoy the rest of your lives together....

We are all thinking of you and Albert and anticipate more posts with the Sandra sense of humour clearly apparent inside - lookout barryd.

Dave


----------



## aldra

a little aggression is good

fight your corner, demand that you are seen as an individual not a statistic as I think that can happen, statistic show that only X amount survive, but as the consultant in paediatrics said to Petra, an intensive care nurse, if 99% will survive, those figures mean nothing to the 1% that doesn't, so Stastics are not helpful or meaningful tothe individual before you.

And look around at all the youngsters that are going through the cancer nightmare

And thank God it's not your Grandchild or Child

that we agree on, it's bad enough it's Albert and I don't know how Iwould live without him, but thank God it's not the kids or G,kids they need time to live their lives

Christies is a fantastic hospital and we are just beginning to appreciate 
just how good and how lucky we are to live near enough to benefit 

Aldra


----------



## Penquin

Totally agree with you there Sandra - nut when the response of some people we tried to approach involved a running chain saw - it is not easy to think about the beauty of the water when the crocodiles are closing in........

Sadly, some people found it very hard to accept help for their relatives and blamed us for trying to help before we had even got near the patient.......

But generally the reception we got was fantastic and more than justified being disturbed in the middle of the night again.....

Dave


----------



## simandme

Sorry, missed the past two weeks of posts....but WOW!!!!

So happy for the two of you...that horrible wait is over and you've turned the corner. I realise that this might be the first corner - but still, you seem to have gained a lot from this awful time. Nice to see that you shared the news with your kids and you got to see what a fantastic job you had done raising them! 

I mentioned long time ago that my friend survived (breast) cancer (twice!) - she also had to have lymph nodes removed...but that was almost 20 years ago. So, I hope that you've started thinking about Christmas and that super-healthy version you'll all be eating :wink: 

We'll be in Cornwall this weekend, if you feel like celebrating with a total stranger  (well, totally strange might be a better way of putting it!)

Simone


----------



## Baron1

Just picked up on this after a few weeks away, fantastic news I'm so happy for you both, time for a holiday and a Christmas with all the family i think!!!
Love Mel. XXX


----------



## Wilmannie

HermanHymer said:


> It brought a big smile to my heart to see you laughing and joking again. Lovely news!!!


I'm so very pleased that youve had such good tidings and think this is how all your forum friends must feel now!

All good wishes xx


----------



## MEES

Just got back on line to hear that things are on the up we are so pleased for you both.

We are at Cordoba at the moment and will be at Torre del Mar for two_three weeks from tomorrow hope you two get away for a break You deserve it.

love graham and Margaret x


----------



## aldra

trying hard to carry on as normal

Well sort of normal Margaret

Just completed the fast for Yom Kippur, day of atonement, although we did drink fluids ,we lived in Israel 40 years ago when the war broke out on Yom KIppur

the day when the book of life is written up

I guess mine will say. "Could do better"

have a fabulous holiday and we will meet up when you get back

Aldra


----------



## suedew

Sandra, just caught up with your news, so glad for the whole family. Catch up when we get back, unless you are thinking of heading to France or Spain.

Sue


----------



## aldra

a Hic up has occurred

We will know after Friday we hope

but I think we will need to get used to lots of Hic-ups 
it's the nature of the beast

Aldra


----------



## aldra

well

Tomorrow is decision time

A small amount of cancer cells showed in the senital lymph nodes so the consultant advised removal of the others in the arm

No Guareentees as the depth of tumour may indicate spread may have already occurred via the bloodstream but maybe not

Scan clear but small cancer cells would not show anyway

His weight is now in the normal thanks to a 40 day juice fast , we eat loads of veg and white meat and fish, fast alternate days

He cycles 10 miles a day and we now swim regularly

there are trials now on the effects of diet on the reoccurance of melonoma so maybe we are a bit ahead

Given the depth, the team would have just monitored but we insisted on a biopsy, his weight loss and exercise swayed their decision to follow him through

stay with us, I need you

it's in the hands of God and just maybe it will work out, who knows
I'm doing all I can

He, is just Albert, Calm reliable, the reason I married him nearly 50 yrs ago and the reason he is so precious to his kids , their partners and the g'kids

Aldra


----------



## simandme

Thanks for sharing with us Aldra - of course we are here!! 

Say what ever you need to; as I am sure that you are trying to put up a brave front to your family.

I'm not good at the jokey cheering up thing - but I am a good listener/reader.

All the best

Simone

PS I'm sure that naughty barryd will be along to cheer you up soon!


----------



## Penquin

Sandra, you know we will be here for you, every step of the way.

That is a given, don't worry about that, just look after yourself and Albert.

Dave


----------



## aldra

Well the date is set

Three weeks hence, he will have all the lymph nodes removed under the affected right arm

It was a difficult decision and for those that know nothing of skin cancer it may well not alter the final outcome and he may well go through this with the post op risks with no long or short term benefits as it may already be spreading via the bloodstream as only tumours would show on the scan not microspreads

But you do what you have to do and hope for the best

Today wasn't good but I sure that's the same for all those with or near those with cancer, visiting the hospital overcomes the normality you have managed to achieve in the mean time

So three weeks gives him time to clip the hedges and ivy, put all the pots to bed and pressure hose the paths ready for winter

Life must go on

Aldra


----------



## simandme

Sounds like you've got your determined head on...and you're absoluted right, life moves on around you regardless to what is happening to you - can feel quite surreal sometimes.

Any thoughts for a quick break away?


----------



## aldra

no not really,

I think Albert just wants to get this over with

Then it's six weeks till he can drive if all goes well then Christmas

We are wondering if we could go to Spain Jan/ Feb

it's not usually the time we go away, but this year apart from two weeks in Scotland we have not used the van

We need to change this or sell the van to some one who can use it

Aldra


----------



## simandme

Sounds like a good plan - always slightly jealous of those who sneak away in Jan/Feb.

Hold on to the MH - you're under enough stress without thinking about selling it. (just my thoughts - don't mean to sound too bossy!!)

:wink:


----------



## MEES

Hope all goes well for Albert and you will be his rock  

Maybe you are panicking with the van does it really matter in the grand scheme of things if the van has not been used by you so much in the last/next few months.

Spain Jan /Feb would be something to plan for and look forward to.

We are still at Torre del Mar basking in the sunshine but we are thinking of you both :lol: :lol: 

Margaret


----------



## Christine600

Best of luck to Albert! 

The whole waiting period and the operation itself can be pretty surreal. The best thing for me was to get distracted enough so that I forgot about the whole thing for a while.


----------



## Wilmannie

Thinking about you both and your family and full of admiration for your 

positive stance and your courage.

All the best of good wishes and I hope you can soon plan for a trip to the 

sun in the Springtime.


----------



## aldra

ME I'm not feeling so good

So can those that are going through through this

Please help me out

It's not part ot MHF so sorry

But some of you are going through it

I'm such a failure 
I never thought I would be so hopeless and so frightened 

Aldra


----------



## Glandwr

Hug

Dick


----------



## Wilmannie

And another hug !

Never mind what's 'part of MHF'. Post your worries up, they're natural worries and you're among friends. 
You'd have to be superwoman to be upbeat all the time. We can listen and send you hugs.


----------



## aldra

thanks DIck

I really need that hug

I'll get there

Especially with Albert who is such a support

But I should be supporting him

But almost 50 years of being supported by a mega person

I'm so afraid 

And I keep telling myself

How lucky have you been

Aldra


----------



## simandme

Ah my sweets, I'm not going through this (thank my lucky stars) - but we'll be your rock - this forum is more than just MH!

Keep sharing your thoughts - we'll bust through them together :wink: 

...or if not, at least provide a good support!!


----------



## rosalan

Sometimes it is better to share your worries with total strangers, who may be willing to understand your pain and to some degree, share your concerns. 
Hugs

Alan


----------



## aldra

Alan,

I find I am worrying almost constantly although I try not to

I never think of you on MHF as total strangers, more as friends

it's prob worse after a visit to the hospital, takes a little while to get back to normal life and put things on the back burner

the hugs are great  

Aldra


----------



## teemyob

Wishing Albert well with the treatment and you well with the worry.

Not stopped thinking about you both since you first posted.

Trev


----------



## aldra

thanks Trev

It will all work out in the end it's yet another life experience

We would only choose the good but the tapestry of our life would be less rich

And in the end that's all we really have

But it's so interwoven with so many people and their warmth

Aldra


----------



## aldra

We recieved a letter today from the cancer consultant

It said

I am delighted to inform you that your liver ultra scan is clear........

we already more or less knew from the Docter who did the scan

But that the first time anyone has been delighted

of course we only are dealing with the skin specialists ( surgeons) At present


Who seem to take great pains to make sure we understand they will remove this and that

But it may not affect the "final outcome"

maybe a little time spent with the cancer specialist would help  

aldra


----------



## Penquin

Any little ray of hope is welcomed at such a time IMO.....  

I am pleased that you have had the verbal comments confirmed.

Dave


----------



## MEES

Wow now that IS a bit of good news  

Big breaths Sandra ... come on glass half full xxx

Hug Hug.

Margaret


----------



## rosalan

Every spoonful of optimism is worth a pot of gold.

Alan


----------



## Phil42

Glad that at least you have some good news, in writing.

I so admire the way you are able to share your feelings and there are so many people on here who are, as a result, thinking of you and Albert and sending you hugs and every good wish.

Stay strong,

Phil


----------



## aldra

Phil

As you know it's not easy

occasionally I have let the kids know I am really down

But they are so used to me and Albert being the strength and even now he never lets them down

so sometimes I wonder who can I tell

Everyone close is anxious

And I try to remember my career

To support 

JUst sometimes I'm struggling

So I burdon MHF 

And hope I am far enough a stranger not to worry anyone

Some of you I know that doesn't applie to

So I hope maybe I've helped a bit with their anxieties

aldra


----------



## rosalan

We are still with you Sandra, thinking about you every day. You never were a worry to anyone.
Never change the habit of a lifetime being the 'strong' one, even when you may be screaming inside, scream on here when the pressure builds up. There are enough of us to carry some of your load.
Nothing can help Albert as much as you being strong when he feels frightened or down.

Alan


----------



## aldra

Alan

love and thanks

sandra


----------



## HermanHymer

aldra said:


> Phil
> 
> As you know it's not easy
> 
> occasionally I have let the kids know I am really down
> 
> But they are so used to me and Albert being the strength and even now he never lets them down
> 
> so sometimes I wonder who can I tell
> 
> Everyone close is anxious
> 
> And I try to remember my career
> 
> To support
> 
> JUst sometimes I'm struggling
> 
> So I burdon MHF
> 
> And hope I am far enough a stranger not to worry anyone
> 
> Some of you I know that doesn't applie to
> 
> So I hope maybe I've helped a bit with their anxieties
> 
> aldra


Dear Aldra

I can only admire your courage in the way you're dealing with this challenge and sharing your true feelings with people you barely know (Well most of us I think). Far from being a negative from the readers' point of view, it's a challenge to each one of us to review our lives as we are living them and to consider how we will deal with the threat of losing someone precious to us. The chances are most of us will have to face up to this reality one day or other and it's a timely reminder to appreciate, love and show a little more caring and not get aggravated by the small stuff. It's a privilege to be a part of your journey and I hope you are encouraged and strengthened, as I hope all members are in their times of pain and fear, by the support of our "online family". Hambagahle. (Zulu for "go well").


----------



## locovan

aldra said:


> no not really,
> 
> I think Albert just wants to get this over with
> 
> Then it's six weeks till he can drive if all goes well then Christmas
> 
> We are wondering if we could go to Spain Jan/ Feb
> 
> it's not usually the time we go away, but this year apart from two weeks in Scotland we have not used the van
> 
> We need to change this or sell the van to some one who can use it
> 
> Aldra


Sandra dont think about selling the van, not yet. 
We havent used ours this year while I have been travelling to London to find what 4th line chemo I can have and then going through chemo once again. 
But at last I have got 6 sessions behind me last Friday and a scan behind me for results on 23rd of Oct. 
This has been my life for 4 years but I do get to Rallies and trips in between.
Im through the treatment and I plan for next year no, while Im able to, they become goals and targets to me.
5th Line will be even more difficult to find and then My Oncologist has whispered she might have a trial by then as she has never had a patient live so long with Mesothelioma. 
I just carry on in the hope all the time.
Reading how you get scared gives me an incite to what Ray must really feel inside but never shows me but like him you have to keep strong, not easy I know. Wishing you both all the luck and praying that all goes Well for Albert :wink:


----------



## aldra

We won't sell the van Mavis, in fact once we have finished the gardens we are going to the Lakes 

it's time to be amongst the mountains again and see the Autumn colours

I think the biggest Challange is living with uncertainty, we all live with that but mostly we think we don't until something happens to force us to face the reality 

That and all the hospital appointments seem to rule life

I guess in time we will get used to it and get on with living

the next hurdle is the op and hoping that Albert doesn't have any long term complications following it and that the lymph system finds an alternative way to drain the fluid from the arm

sometimes it seems to make sense to close things down, the van is an escape route but sometimes it's just a reminder of what we may lose.

we always cut the hedges and Ivy's and put the pots away at this time of year but this time we need to do it before the op makes it impossible
so it feels different

it's hard to explain and I guess it's a period of mourning and readjustment but in fact nothing has really changed non of us know what's round the corner we only think we do

And the truth is Albert may well sail through the op with no complications, his cancer may take a long time to spread or it may not spread at all,in a few people it doesn't so maybe he will be one of the lucky ones only time will tell

I guess it's finding the right balance between feeling positive and being realistic and trying not to get too anxious about the future It also highlights and makes you realise how deeply connected to another person you are and how interwoven your lives are. So yes I am afraid to lose a part of myself but I haven't lost it yet and that's the important thing to remember

aldra


----------



## locovan

aldra said:


> We won't sell the van Mavis, in fact once we have finished the gardens we are going to the Lakes
> 
> it's time to be amongst the mountains again and see the Autumn colours
> 
> I think the biggest Challange is living with uncertainty, we all live with that but mostly we think we don't until something happens to force us to face the reality
> 
> That and all the hospital appointments seem to rule life
> 
> I guess in time we will get used to it and get on with living
> 
> the next hurdle is the op and hoping that Albert doesn't have any long term complications following it and that the lymph system finds an alternative way to drain the fluid from the arm
> 
> sometimes it seems to make sense to close things down, the van is an escape route but sometimes it's just a reminder of what we may lose.
> 
> we always cut the hedges and Ivy's and put the pots away at this time of year but this time we need to do it before the op makes it impossible
> so it feels different
> 
> it's hard to explain and I guess it's a period of mourning and readjustment but in fact nothing has really changed non of us know what's round the corner we only think we do
> 
> And the truth is Albert may well sail through the op with no complications, his cancer may take a long time to spread or it may not spread at all,in a few people it doesn't so maybe he will be one of the lucky ones only time will tell
> 
> I guess it's finding the right balance between feeling positive and being realistic and trying not to get too anxious about the future It also highlights and makes you realise how deeply connected to another person you are and how interwoven your lives are. So yes I am afraid to lose a part of myself but I haven't lost it yet and that's the important thing to remember
> 
> aldra


Every word you wrote there makes a lot of sense. It is mourning --mourning for the life you had only last year and then this year you feel like you have lived at the hospital with all the appointments. Enjoy the lakes and have a good time together lots of fresh air and good healthy food does wonders. :wink:


----------



## HermanHymer

locovan said:


> aldra said:
> 
> 
> 
> no not really,
> 
> I think Albert just wants to get this over with
> 
> Then it's six weeks till he can drive if all goes well then Christmas
> 
> We are wondering if we could go to Spain Jan/ Feb
> 
> it's not usually the time we go away, but this year apart from two weeks in Scotland we have not used the van
> 
> We need to change this or sell the van to some one who can use it
> 
> Aldra
> 
> 
> 
> Sandra dont think about selling the van, not yet.
> We havent used ours this year while I have been travelling to London to find what 4th line chemo I can have and then going through chemo once again.
> But at last I have got 6 sessions behind me last Friday and a scan behind me for results on 23rd of Oct.
> This has been my life for 4 years but I do get to Rallies and trips in between.
> Im through the treatment and I plan for next year no, while Im able to, they become goals and targets to me.
> 5th Line will be even more difficult to find and then My Oncologist has whispered she might have a trial by then as she has never had a patient live so long with Mesothelioma.
> I just carry on in the hope all the time.
> Reading how you get scared gives me an incite to what Ray must really feel inside but never shows me but like him you have to keep strong, not easy I know. Wishing you both all the luck and praying that all goes Well for Albert :wink:
Click to expand...

Mavis, you are the personification of "It is in giving that we receive..." Good luck with your next set of results. You must be an inspiration to all you meet.


----------



## barryd

I don't know what to add really. Such lovely words and support.

All I can say is get yourselves to the lakes and enjoy! In the 2000 French churches I've been praying for you I've hopefully ordered some sunshine.

Last night after four weeks of searching and been lost in France I finally found the spare sat nav so we can hopefully come home now and maybe pop and see you!  sorry that's not really good news is it?


----------



## aldra

Sounds like really good news to me Barry  

safe journey

sandra


----------



## locovan

Sandra I follow all breakthroughs in cancer so here is one for you. Seek the Doctors opinion http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/a...h-spectacular-drugs-bring-hope-thousands.html


----------



## Penquin

Thanks Mavis for that link - I had caught it briefly on the BBC Breakfast this morning but could not catch all the details and suggested that Sandra used iPlayer to review this morning - you have provided the exact link.

It looks very useful as ipi is already available on the NHS as Yervoy - so this must be regarded as worth further investigation.

Dave


----------



## aldra

Thanks to both of you

First we must hope that he doesn't get any secondary tumours for sometime ,if ever ,once the lymph nodes are removed. At least the amount of cells present and the amount of lymph nodes involved are another diagnostic tool which indicates rate of spread. He has no swollen glands as yet

Spread through the blood is a different matter and can't be identified until the tumour stage as the small cells don't show up on scans

they are already using the drug at Christies in Manchester on advanced cases

I'm sure they will break through with a cure, I hope so so many youngsters are involved and young people with families and a 5 yr survival rate is not a lot to them

Meanwhile we hope and pray and would happily settle for 5 or better still 10 years survival

Aldra


----------



## locovan

Just had a message on face book about it Dave --It has hit the nightly TV news services in Australia ....... it ties in nicely with the clinical trials happening in Australia and else where. The genome factor is really what it all seems to be all about. Identifying what triggers reactions and hence how to counter act them within our bodies.
If this is fair dinkum, imagine the lives it will save in Australia - just on the skin cancer angle alone. It really is exciting ........ but most of all it is HOPE!

Looking good I will chase it for Mesothelioma as well. But in the mean time I really should work on my Immune system better I found this but I know Sandra you are already on top of that http://www.health.harvard.edu/flu-resource-center/how-to-boost-your-immune-system.htm


----------



## Penquin

Thanks for that, I am fortunate that I have survived well past the five year point (now 8 years+) with no further problems.....

but that regime of boost certainly seems like an idea worth considering and remembering for the future, just in case......

the use of such drugs here in sunny (?) France, seems to be more available, but of course the costs are picked up by the mutuelle rather than the Government.......

Dave


----------



## aldra

penguin

You did not already have spread, Albert does

So depending where he is on the "statistics" maybe in the Lucky group 5 years is a bonus 

I'm sure that yours was caught in good time Dave

yes Mavis I am very hopeful that diet can make a big difference and I try to juice and serve specific veg that boost Immunity and are felt to fight against skin cancer eg Cantuloupe, raw beetroot, Tumeric etc

Tumeric is good in any cancer fight and we tend to have it daily, mix it with a little oil and black pepper if you are not adding it to cooked food or soup
sweet potatoes are also very good

Basically it's a veg diet with some chicken and fish, lots of dark green and orange fruit and veg Also excellent in heart conditions

I still believe Careful fasting confuses cancer cells as they do not alter quickly enough to adapt to internal changes brought about by fasting in the way our healthy cells do

There was an trial on Fasting and Chemo which seemed to offer some protection to healthy cells whilst making cancer cells more vulnerable, it also cut down the side effects of Chemo

Stay strong
Sandra


----------



## coppo

Hi Sandra.

Just caught up with things as we have been away in the MH for just over a week, finally got some bloody holidays from work.

I don't know how both of you are feeling, nobody does, everyone is so different, some take things in their stride, others get down.

Glad you are looking at the diet route, I,ve always been a great believer in this. Tumeric is a cancer suppressor as you say, and so is garlic, particularly in its raw form, it contains a great compound called Allicin.

Enjoy your gardening and trip to the lakes and I hope Alberts operation goes well.

Paul.


----------



## aldra

telephoned the specialist nurse today

I was a bit worried about the op to remove the lymph nodes

AIlberts primary node was very deep and they don't usually do the senital node biopsy because they assume spread and we had requested it

so I was worried that they were going forward because they had proved spread but didn't expect it would really help

She said the team had agreed to go ahead, the head cancer specialist at the team meeting had said that trials in Oxford were looking to determine that total lymph removal beyond the primary tumour could well be benificial in very deep tumours which at present they only monitored and usually remain untested, so he felt it worthwhile

she actually said that the small amount of CONTAINED cells in Alberts senital lymph node could be a good sign

She then said she would try to arrange for us to meet with the head cancer specialist before the op so he could talk with us

It's true, Statistics are worthless, a 99% chance of survival is useless to the 1% that don't 

We continue to wait and pray

Albert is keeping fit by cycling, cutting 8ft hedges and the ivy that covers the house

I close my eyes when he is up the ladders 8O 

Aldra


----------



## motormouth

aldra said:


> I close my eyes when he is up the ladders 8O
> 
> Aldra


Disgraceful, it should be you up the ladders. :lol:


----------



## aldra

Disgusting 747

I wear skirts :lol: :lol: 

Nice legs though  

Aldra


----------



## 747

aldra said:


> Disgusting 747
> 
> I wear skirts :lol: :lol:
> 
> Nice legs though
> 
> Aldra


 :?: :?: :?:

How did I get dragged into this? I never touched her Your Honour. 

BTW Sandra, I had my appointment with Dermatology this morning. Nothing to worry about they said ..... Phew. 8O

I am passing on all my unused good luck to Albert.


----------



## aldra

great

Was it a senile mole :lol: :lol: 

Or are you too young for such things  

Not to worry just call it a wisdom mole :lol: 

Collected your unused good luck

sandra


----------



## aldra

aldra said:


> great
> 
> Was it a senile mole :lol: :lol:
> 
> Or are you too young for such things
> 
> Not to worry just call it a wisdom mole :lol:
> 
> Collected your unused good luck
> 
> sandra


sorry it was that motormouth see how confused you lot are getting me :lol:


----------



## rayrecrok

HI.

Now here's a thing, my Sandra has developed a want for a better word small sore on her face at the side of her nose about two or three weeks ago, it appeared to clear but has now come back, so on to the internet to look at some skin cancer pictures and one looks like Sandras, hmmm.

So as not to be left out I have what I thought was a small wart, but now sometimes bleeds when I wash my face. I have had this since we were in Greece quite a few weeks back.

So we both got on the scooter and had a ride into Fragga the next big town to where we are, I asked at the reception if anybody "Ablo Englasi" but none spoke English, so they got someone a female doctor who could speak a little English, she had a cursory look at Sandra over the reception desk, and didn't even look at my problem, then went into a lecture or it sounded like a lecture and basically sent us on our way saying put a plaster on it to keep the sun off.

Like a pair of silly buggers we went, when I got back to the van at Mequinenza I wad furious, our fat dog got the business of the vet on Sunday, and this silly doctor just sent us away without seeing anybody in casualty.

So we are off back again tomorrow and I/we are not going anywhere infill we are checked out. This is the only time we will be in one place for the next 4 weeks until we vet back in th UK next year in March.

Ray.


----------



## aldra

Ray, 

you are right to get them carefully checked but the chances are they will be fine so don't over worry

Glad Fatdog is OK

Sandra


----------



## aldra

we have an appointment with the Cancer Specialist a week tomorrow

I know that he cannot give any Guarentees, as the Consultant skin specialist said

Melonoma follows a pattern, but, sometimes it does what it likes

I'm hoping it does what it likes and statistics are useless

cannot fault Christies

The first meeting went really wrong and left me so frightened
And unfortunately it's left a legacy

I'm hoping for 5 yrs the Specialst nurse says she is hoping for more

Anyway it's better than the 6 months I thought after the first consultation but he never said that,but left me thinking that

he left me with the impression that given the tumour depth " what do you expect?"

But I'm beginning to understand he viewed Albert as a statistic

And he is not a statistic until he's dead

The gardens are finished, the whole house of Ivies are clipped 30ft high ( although the s-inlaw did the apex,) he's very tall. 8 ft hedges are. Clipped, the whole garden is pressure hosed and looking 
good. He has finished it all and cycles between, superman or what?

now we will pack the van and go to the lakes for a week to relax, walk 
the dog and chill

but we will remember that 5 son and Daughter in laws are like our own children

Special or what  

Aldra


----------



## Penquin

Hooray, for that post Sandra I am HEARTILY relieved that you are going off to the Lakes and genuinely wish you a good time.

As I have said, if and when you feel up to venturing out here you will be very welcome (but we will not be here for the next few weeks with a bit of luck.....).

The break from hospitalisation will do both of you a lot of good - it is always difficult to face the thoughts that you first encounter - I know what mine were on receiving through the post a medication to be taken before a full body scan with no advice or comments.....

That turned out to be totally wrong - and is redolent of the poor initial contact that you had..... I was left desolate and thinking that the end was near for 48 hours in spite of reassuring comments from MrsW and a GP daughter - who expressed concerns that such a severe step as a full body scan had been requested before I had received any advice.

So yes, I can sympathise with you, but I also know the benefits of getting away to a different environment and taking some time to chill (not literally I hope), and the Lakes should be brilliant at this time of the year. So have a good time,

best wishes,

Lesley and Dave


----------



## rayrecrok

HI.

We went back to the hospital at Fragga and a doctor had a proper look and examination and said we are both ok no skin cancer, and she even wrote it on some hospital letter head and signed it.

I just wish there had been a thread like yours Sandra to give the info needed to act quick when Albert first started with his problem, then maybe you might have caught it in time to save you both this heartache..

Thinking of you both.

Ray.


----------



## Penquin

rayrecrok said:


> I just wish there had been a thread like yours Sandra to give the info needed to act quick when Albert first started with his problem, then maybe you might have caught it in time to save you both this heartache..
> 
> Thinking of you both.
> 
> Ray.


all anyone can do is ask if they are not sure - we have all done that and MHF is full of helpful people for not just MH points.

Dave


----------



## aldra

iHis mole did change but not by much for years

Other moles changed but proved to be just senile moles

So we ignored it

And then changed rapidly but at first we thought it was just a bit inflamed

How wrong we were

Get any changes checked

Still he is not dead yet

Keep us in your thoughts and prayers

I'm thinking that the contained spread is not in keeping with the depth of the tumour

So just maybe he will be lucky

aldra


----------



## rosalan

Daily, you are in our thoughts!

I am a bit concerned that while nothing has recently changed, you are encouraging more negative thoughts in this thread. This is not going to help Albert is it?



Alan


----------



## bazzeruk

Hi, Aldra - only just seen the thread.

Our thoughts are with you - try and have a great trip

Bazzer


----------



## aldra

rosalan said:


> Daily, you are in our thoughts!
> 
> I am a bit concerned that while nothing has recently changed, you are encouraging more negative thoughts in this thread. This is not going to help Albert is it?
> 
> Alan


I would love to say all my thoughts are positive

Sadly they are not

Albert never visits MHF
So it's a place where I can express my fears

But you may be right

Maybe I Shoud not
But

I need to be strong for Albert and the Kids

But I don't always feel that deep inside

sorry

Aldra


----------



## aldra

a week tomorrow

He has all his lymph nodes removed under the affected arm

I hope it will halt the spread but it won't affect any spread through the bloodstream

But I think it's enough that you all know to take great care

So I'm closing the thread

Thanks to all of you for your prayers and support

We will be OK I hope  

aldra


----------



## aldra

Well I closed the tread and hoped for the best

I really closed it Alan because you made me feel guilty of putting my anxieties on others

I'm sure you didn't mean that and I was feeling very vulnerable 

Anyway the worst has happened and we were warned but hoped it would be longer

Albert has a secondary lump near the original tumour we have an emergency appointment at Christies on Friday 

still sorting out the surgery for prostate cancer and now the Melanoma is back, it may have never gone away

Anyway back on the fast as Albert is convinced that the reason it had not already spread to his lymph nodes against all odds was down to that

So we are doing our bit, God is doing his and the team at Christies are doing theirs

Could do with a lucky break though

However the good news is I had surgery yesterday and I'm feeling really fine, no pain no nothing , even though I was told I would have bad cramps so fingers crossed

In fact the exploratory op left me with a trapped nerve, hardly able to walk and in a lot of pain

The op must have released the nerve :lol: and I'm feeling fine

At least physically 

Otherwise feeling frightened and worried but I've got albert who tells me it going to be alright

It should be me telling him that

And I'll get there

Aldra


----------



## ThePrisoner

Oh Aldra, you poor thing. Life really can be a b...ch. 

Thinking of you.


----------



## Nethernut

Oh Aldra, I am so sorry to read your post. Try to think positive - I know that is so so hard, my husband also has melanoma - but you need your good health and good humour to get you through this week. Please please keep in touch with us, you are not putting your worries on our shoulders, just sharing your worries with friends, very different.
In the meantime, have a big hug from me.

Jan


----------



## HurricaneSmith

I can't begin to understand the emotions you are both going through at the moment. Life can be so unfair at times.

It seems wrong for me to 'Like' or "Thank' your latest post because those words don't express what I am trying to say.

It's hard for a bloke to say the right thing.


----------



## Snunkie

Aldra, I am so sorry to read this and will be thinking of you both and wishing you the best of luck. Life is so hard sometimes, it deals you a blow and you have to cope with it however you can. Take care xx


----------



## aldra

Jan

It has always been that I share with friends
I probably misunderstood Alan as I was so anxious and he is a lovely person

I'm now worried that he feels worried

Alan don't 

Jan I feel so very frightened, you can't tell family, I shouldn't tell Albert

But 50 yrs of marriage he's always been the supportive one

And I feel theirs no one to tell

I'd always tell him

But how can I tell him it's not looking good

Aldra


----------



## Kaytutt

My positive thoughts are with you xx


----------



## Nethernut

Aldra, got to say I wouldn't initially. What until you really know what the outcome is going to be, let Christies do their work and your consultant sits you both down and tells you. He is probably as worried as you but is keeping it to himself. 
Just come to us to let off steam, or maybe even have a laugh, it really is the best medicine. When the time is right you will really talk to each other about everything, it just needs to be a point when you are both ready to face up to all the probabilities.

Jan x


----------



## rayrecrok

Hello Sandra.

Sometimes life deals you a lemon, both of you..

We are here to support you if you need it, make you laugh if you need it.. Either way you both have our love..

ray & Sandra.


----------



## aldra

We did jan

But then came the prostate cancer

And before that is sorted yesterday cane the return of the melanoma

The day before I was in surgery with womb polyps

My head is spinning

I've not really got over the surgery

Frightened by the recurrence of the melanoma

And trying to sort out the prostate cancer surgery

It just feels too much

But I tend to bounce back in fighting mode 

But haven't yet managed it 

I just feel completely done for at the moment

But fortunately I have no pain, cramps etc as was expected following surgery

Beginning to think that would have least took my mind off other things
:lol: 

Aldra


----------



## tugboat

PM sent, Sandra.


----------



## alexblack13

Hi there Sandra.

Alex Black here again..

Has Albert been offered surgery for the prostate problem and if so has he been talked through the various other options? I did not go the surgery route and am now on my second week of radiotherapy and feeling very good so far. I am on that and three monthly hormone injections and my last PSA check showed 0.8!!! Which is well under control. My specialist nurses have said they will get it to 0.1... Probably cured! 
If it stays there its well under control.. The old saying is this ....

Many more people die ''with'' this disease than ''because'' of it.. :wink: 


My daily trips over to Edinburgh are now a bit of a social get together with everybody compares notes etc, as you can imagine. The mood in the waiting room is positive and happy and everyone there sees no reason at all for pessimism. Albert WILL be the same. He has a very VERY good chance of a cure or living with it quite comfortably for a very very long time to come & apart from occasional checkups he will probably not know he has it.

Take each day as it comes Sandra and tackle each issue one at a time and soon the fog will clear and you will be off on your travels again.

There is lots they can do for you both..Try not to worry.

Stay positive and focused. You will get through this.

Keep comunicating and talking to us all.. 

Thinking of you and Albert and I'm sure he will be fine.

XX.. Give one to Albert for us  

Alex (and Carol) Black ... :wink:


----------



## aldra

We have a private consultation for robotic surgery at Christies on Monday, Alex 

This has thrown us a bit, it shouldn't have because we knew there was a high probability given the depth of the original tumour that it was likely to reoccur but you hope

Getting it together a bit now, have seen the surgeon today, he will remove it a week on Wednesday and send it for biopsy and decide the treatment from there. 

Meanwhile we are both on a veg juice fast, we are sure it helped the first time round 

Thank goodness for Christies, no waiting for referrals, one call to our specialist nurse and all sorted

My op on Tuesday has left me feeling absolutely fine, we are tough we women :lol: :lol: 

In between you only need to turn on the TV to see people much much worse off the Middle East is heartbreaking, no one especially no child should experience that

sandra


----------



## tugboat

Hi Sandra, you 'sound' a little calmer now you've seen the surgeon today. It sounds like Christies and it's people are topnotch, you are so lucky to have them near.

I'm glad that they will remove the lump, waiting for the biopsy result will be tough I know, but you and Albert are an amazing couple and I know you will deal with whatever comes along. Your friends are here to support you as you need.

We could do with a 'blowing kisses' smiley on here.


----------



## aldra

Tuggy, my love

I just got that blowing kiss

And I can remember your arms wrapped round me

We will deal with it, after all we have almost 50 yrs of dealing with things together

Waiting for the results won't be tough, we already know it's a reoccurrence, it was expected given the depth of his original tumour, just need to know the next step

Meanwhile we fast and hope, it seems to have helped the first time round


----------



## aldra

Tuggy, my love

I just got that blowing kiss

And I can remember your arms wrapped round me

We will deal with it, after all we have almost 50 yrs of dealing with things together

Waiting for the results won't be tough, we already know it's a reoccurrence, it was expected given the depth of his original tumour, just need to know the next step

Meanwhile we fast and hope, it seems to have helped the first time round

And your love is helping this time round

As is all the love from MHF

Sandra


----------



## tugboat

Steady on, Sandra, lines 2&3 of your post are a bit racy for the quiet types on here. You'll be inducing fits of the vapours! :lol:


----------



## aldra

Tuggy

I'm known as a racy type :lol: 

Even the quiet ones accept that

Never underestimate the quite ones :lol: :lol: 

I never do   

Sandra


----------



## barryd

Right my little chickadee! Yes I know, you thought I had abandoned you but fear not your knight in not very shiny armour is back. Well technically I'm not back, I'm marooned up a mountain in France with a knackered exhaust which fell off this morning but that's not important right now.  It seems I will have to turn this piece of junk around and drive up to bury and give you a massive hug! 

Don't be taken in by that tugboat sending you pm's either! He is just trying to muscle in on my squeeze while I'm stuck in the middle of nowhere! 

Sod the fasting. Have one of those lovely pies you make and a bottle of wine or three. Sounds like you need need it to be honest. 

I have said this before and I will say it again but you are the undisputed Queen of mhf and adored by all so your friends on here will support you and be there for you, always. 

I won't say remain positive because when your down your down but I have a good feeling that it will work out. I'm a bit cheesed of however that I will now have to go to church in the morning and the nearest one is a 1 mile hike up this mountain behind me but I need to loose a few pounds and no doubt a hangover.

I sincerely hope that Albert is ok and continues his scooter / bike training and test.

Who knows. Next summer we could be racing each other on our scooters through some backwater road in Provence in the sunshine with the wind in our hair and massive smiles on our faces! 

Will try and keep online but mobile and wifi is pants round here. 

Love always
Baz


----------



## HermanHymer

Hi Sandra

I just got back on track and have read your latest news. One more pile of blessings on its way to you... (I'll let barry and tuggie do the kissing!) 

Get fit and healthy, both of you, our curry date is approaching. God willing you'll both be doing fine by then. Be strong and don't you dare stop this thread or there'll be 500 people who won't be able to sleep at night for not knowing. Big hug and lots of love. Viv


----------



## aldra

Just how great are you lot

I never feel alone

With friends like this who could

Viv I'm very happy to be kissing Barry and Tuggy

Would have added heathcliffe but he has deserted me and I'm devastated, still Anne will sort out his callus disregard of me 

And hugging all these wonderful people 

Looking forward to that curry

And most of all you

Sandra


----------



## coppo

Hi Sandra.

Sorry to hear the bad news, my membership ran out over a week ago and not had time to renew until now, so couldn't post.

Give my best wishes to Albert.

Keep strong.

Paul.


----------



## aldra

Coppo

My lovely one

We are coming to terms with it

We will try to keep strong, but need to admit I go down

He cycles 10 miles daily and just keeps going 

Me, I don't t know how I could survive without him

But he is still here 

And going strong

You lot keep me going

Sandra


----------



## aldra

a quick update

About 6 weeks ago Albert found a lump close to the scar where the original melanoma was removed

Christies as usual were quick to identify it and the surgeon who removed it was sure he had got it all

The wound healed well but one month later spontaneously opened, not a problem in itself as the internal healing process had begun 

Saw the surgeon today he has decided that he will do a wider incision and re-stitch with a different stitch as it's on a big muscle

And of course albert left it two weeks following the first op and then cut all the 10 foot hedges and clipped the ivy covering the house 8O 

Any way the scan results were clear, and the only cloud on the immediate horizon is that he found another lump close to the original scar which is not classic melonoma, and could be scar tissue, but as he says I'm going in anyway so Ill take a look

The bit I liked best was he said I'll redo it for cosmetic reasons, I said it's a bit late for that given that the original scar is 14 cm, the second is 8
And the one under his arm is24cm

Anyway I said I want it designer I'm getting to like the Rugged look
:lol: :lol: 

Check your moles any changes however slight get them checked out immediately, more than that any skin changes have them checked by someone who knows what to look for

It could save your life and will certainly save you heartache 

Aldra


----------



## Kaytutt

Glad to hear you have had positive news


----------



## coppo

Good positive news then Sandra.

Best wishes to yourself and Albert, Albert sounds like he has got super fit recently what with all the cycling.

Paul.


----------



## Penquin

Sandra,

WE are delighted to hear that news - Albert of course also was the machine that moved 11 1/2 tonnes of wet concrete in about 2 hours and ensured that we ended up with a swimming pool WITHOUT a diving platform of concrete in the middle......

Please wish him all the best from both of us, we hope to see you back here next year at least, and we promise not to have 4.5 cubic metres of concrete to lay........

and no, that doesn't mean we will have twice that amount.....

my winter task is to install the solar panels for the pool so that we can swim for longer in a warmer pool and we hope that you will both join us..... so the designer look is not essential for our very crowded piece of France as you are aware.....

Dave and Lesley


----------



## tugboat

If the surgeon did a really rough job, Albert could say it was done with a chainsaw or something similarly macho. Trimming the ivy just doesn't sound cool imho!


----------



## aldra

Hey Tuggy

When the whole house is covered with it

It's a job and a half 8O 

Right up to the eaves

The sparrows love it, I love it

But it is hard work cutting it all back

Excellent insulation though

Aldra


----------



## barryd

See! All those prayers in French churches are working eh!!! 

Great news! 

Really pleased for you both.

Now. Has he passed that flipping bike test yet so you can get out and about on your new ride?

Lots of love B&M
xx


----------



## Cazzie

So glad to hear that you have had encouraging news about Albert and also that dear Shadow seems to be on the mend.
You must be due for a holiday! It' time to get away and forget all your problems for a while!
Hope we meet up on our travels one day - we usually seem to travel at the same time of year.

Cazzie


----------



## aldra

If only we could Cazzie but our life seems to be governed by hospital appointments

For the melanoma and the prostate cancer

Everything takes so long and we feel we spend hours and hours hanging around

Hopefully things will sort into a pattern but as yet we haven't found it

Aldra


----------



## tugboat

aldra said:


> Hey Tuggy
> 
> When the whole house is covered with it
> 
> It's a job and a half 8O
> 
> Right up to the eaves
> 
> The sparrows love it, I love it
> 
> But it is hard work cutting it all back
> 
> Excellent insulation though
> 
> Aldra


You need a toyboy, Sandra. One with lovely muscley legs. For climbing ladders! :lol:


----------



## rosalan

That will be me Tuggy!


Only just got back to the UK in time to hear your latest adventures. 
I am so sorry to hear of the re-occurrence of melanoma on Alberts arm.
I am off in the morning to have a 'thing' removed from beside my eye. "I do not think that it is carcinogenic" said the surgeon but just in case, he will cut it out.
As a person who loves the sun and travels in hot places, with moles and warts as we all have, your warnings were the catalyst that pressed me to get checked out. So along with my gratitude for getting me off my backside, please accept my very best wishes for Albert.
p.s. The Spanish border was soaked in sunshine last week as we covered some of the ground you traversed earlier, when my green with envy eyes had accompanied you.
BE STRONG!

Alan


----------



## aldra

Good for you Alan

Hopefully it's nothing and if it is nothing , nothing is wasted in being vigilant and checking it out

I've seen many stories where GPs have said its nothing and not bothered to go further and were wrong so you have a wise surgeon

Don't over worry all skin cancers if caught early are mostly curable even melanoma and the chances are yours will turn out to be nothing anyway

I'm glad you enjoyed your holiday, it is beautiful in the Pyrenees isn't it
Fingers crossed we will do it again, next time with a scooter on tow  

sandra


----------



## tugboat

rosalan said:


> That will be me Tuggy!
> 
> Alan


Sandra will need to see a photo of your ladder. :lol:


----------



## rosalan

tugboat said:


> rosalan said:
> 
> 
> 
> That will be me Tuggy!
> 
> Alan
> 
> 
> 
> Sandra will need to see a photo of your ladder. :lol:
Click to expand...

Ladder? Who needs a ladder.... !

I forgot you were a Cornish Pixie!

Alan


----------



## aldra

Unfortunately the second lump was another melanoma

A very deep one but they think they have got it with a good margin

They won't know for certain till it's biopsied, if they need to go in again 

If they do it will mean a skin graft as he has had such a lot of skin and tissue removed from his arm already

Just have to keep going

Aldra


----------



## barryd

Sorry to hear that Sandra. At least it sounds like they are on top of it.

Albert should have some good war wounds to show off at the next meet.


----------



## aldra

Thanks Barry

But it's not looking good, he is driving home but they didn't want him to drive as they have gone so deep into the muscle

If they had known how deep the tumour was they would have done it under general anaesthetic

He says he's ok, but that's Albert

Sandra


----------



## mikebeaches

aldra said:


> Unfortunately the second lump was another melanoma
> 
> A very deep one but they think they have got it with a good margin
> 
> They won't know for certain till it's biopsied, if they need to go in again
> 
> If they do it will mean a skin graft as he has had such a lot of skin and tissue removed from his arm already
> 
> Just have to keep going
> 
> Aldra


Aldra

Sorry to hear of the second melanoma on Albert's arm - but it sounds as though they've got it under control.

Reference skin grafts - and I know you have a clinical background - this might be absolute rubbish - but I'll pass it on all the same.

As a 13-year old I had a fairly serious accident on my bicycle and injured my lower leg badly right on the shin (although surprisingly I didn't break it). I had many many stitches, and have an impressive scar to this day. However, the wound wouldn't heal properly - I was told it was most likely because of the lack of flesh in that area.

Anyway, it was decided I would require a skin graft. In preparation, I had to have the wound dressed every day at the hospital for 5 or 6 weeks, during which time there was still no sign of the wound shrinking. The family were due to go away for the weekend to the coast, and my Dad asked if it would be OK for me to paddle in the sea, and then he'd re-dress the wound. The request was granted, on the basis 'it's shouldn't do any harm'.

When I returned to the hospital on the Monday about a third of the wound had healed. The nurse called the doctor who was amazed. It was suggested I should return to the coast (we lived in the Midlands) as soon as possible. The upshot was - a few more days at the seaside, bathing it in the sea and the wound continued to heal of its own accord - the planned skin graft was subsequently cancelled.

As I said, probably totally irrelevant, but though I would share the experience nonetheless.

Best wishes in any case.
Mike


----------



## tugboat

Sheesh, that Albert, he's some tough cookie! Respect and all good wishes from me.


----------



## aldra

It's not so much that the present wound won't heal Mike

In melanoma the tumour depth is equated to the margin of skin and flesh around it they have to remove as it can be present around the actual tumour

although they feel pretty sure they have got all the tumour , They have taken biopsies around for checking in the path lab

The problem is they have got all the tumour but if satellites are in the skin around it beyond what they have taken they need to go back again
To make a wider excision 

It is a very nasty form of cancer with the ability to switch off the immune system so it isn't recognised by the bodies defence system

Early detection is the key, and prevention where possible

Once again take no chances, take care in the sun and however minor it seems get any changing mole or skin lesion checked

Best be safe than sorry

Sandra


----------



## jiwawa

So sorry to hear the news about Albert's 2nd melanoma. 

Thinking of you both.


----------



## patp

Sorry to hear the news of Albert's tumour. Fingers and toes firmly crossed that they have got it all.


----------



## Phil42

So sorry to hear about this latest setback Sandra.

It's such a roller-coaster but at least it sounds as though they're reasonably confident.

We'll all be thinking of you both as you deal with this.

Phil


----------



## coppo

Best wishes to Albert from Myself and Caroline too.

Paul.


----------



## aldra

Thanks all of you this is tumour number two, three if you count the first one

He has 22 staples along with stitches

His arm has been really swollen although tonight it seems a bit better

Remember he has no lymph nodes in that arm to drain

He says he's fine but he has had a lot of pain

It seems to be easing now

Aldra


----------



## aldra

Right

The scar is 18 cm

Has 22 staples plus internal and external stitches

All for another melanoma tumour close to the original one

Listen

Take no chances 

People think skin cancer is a blip on the skin

It isn't 

It's a killer, the tumours come inside the body as well

There is no cure

Surgery can cut it out if they can reach it

This is Alberts third in a year

Get every suspicious mole or skin lesion checked

Don't go through this nightmare

Aldra


----------



## aldra

Me

I'm getting a bit pissed off

Every next blip seems to mean I have to do more to keep up

And I'm not getting any younger

I'd love to say it's fine I'll pick up the slack

But what I'm saying is move your arm, move your but

You need to do as much as you can

And bless him he does

Aldra


----------



## barryd

Nonsense Woman! You and Albert look younger and better looking everytime I see you! 

I wont say keep positive and it will all be ok as it wont do you much good but I will say if anyone can fight this thing its Albert. What a fella! Wish I was made of stuff like him. I broke a string on my guitar yesterday just by looking at it and nearly cried and I didnt bring any spares!  Michelle is secretly delighted. :twisted:


----------



## aldra

Barry my love
Barry,
You are blinkered :lol: 

Me Im getting older

Still gorgeous at least in mind

He is about to start hormone therapy, hot sweats, sore breasts and weight round the middle

ha, welcome to the menopause :lol: :lol: 

Been there seen it done it

My sympathy will be limited

To a male who thought it was nothing much :lol: :lol: 

Sandra


----------



## alexblack13

Hello Sandra,

For the hot sweats ask the doctor for Cyproterone Acetate. 

I had awful trouble when first given the hormone injections and my specialist Nurses asked my GP to prescribe these.

What a difference! I am now barely troubled by the hot flushes.

All the very best to Albert and yourself. 

Stay strong .. :wink: 

Alex & Carol Black.


----------



## aldra

Alex and carol

We will try

After all it's all we can do

And what the hell, how lucky are we 

That we are already 70

The people we see at Christies , I'm talking about the melanoma are so much younger

And we both know the prostate cancer prob has no chance to kill him

The melanoma is already streets ahead

Aldra


----------



## alexblack13

I am three years behind you then... just a Kid eh? 

I aim to die with it rather than because of it.. Feeling quite good right now apart from bad head cold and cough. Mrs B kindly passed that on to me. Not content with keeping me up all night she thought she would share it.

Ah well.

Give Albert our kind regards and tell him he is in our thoughts.

Alex & Carol Black.


----------



## tugboat

barryd said:


> Nonsense Woman! You and Albert look younger and better looking everytime I see you!
> 
> I wont say keep positive and it will all be ok as it wont do you much good but I will say if anyone can fight this thing its Albert. What a fella! Wish I was made of stuff like him. I broke a string on my guitar yesterday just by looking at it and nearly cried and I didnt bring any spares!  Michelle is secretly delighted. :twisted:


Yeah, Sandra, what Barry said! Apart from that guff about the guitar string which just shows what a right jessie he is. :roll:


----------



## barryd

Get lost Tuggless. Everyone knows that rufty tufty Tugboat in your Avatar is really a toy you play with in the bath along with your rubber duck.

The only Marina you ever set sail from was made by Morris!


----------



## aldra

Well today was bad and maybe good news

As some know he had another deep Melonoma removed a month ago

But under local

Biopsy taken
Today the path lab isn't sure

So he is advised to have a deeper incision into the muscleunder general 
Aneasthetic so they can go deeper and it will need skin grafts

Come on albert says I

Can we have a sell by date

Drink wine eat and be merry :lol: :lol: 

Joking apart it just seems to go on and on 

Spoke to our eldest son

Are you coming for Christmas day to eat here??

Well he said maybe it's the lastChristmas with my dad

Or maybe Isaid

You did a Christmas meal, two years ago and found with two Young kids you were lonely 

right you are on desserts :lol: :lol: 

I'll find another for the starters :lol: 

The joy of getting older  

Me I'll do the Turkey

The Belly pork
And the lamb and all veg and trimmings 

And He will just keep on
Aldra


----------



## jiwawa

Thinking of you both - it's a depressing time. But you're a past master at finding the silver lining Aldra.


----------



## tugboat

The very idea that it could be Albert's last Christmas is preposterous and not to be considered. Thus speaks Dr Tuggy and Nurse Ellie. We prescribe booze and Brussels sprouts, melanoma's got no chance, pickle it and blow it to kingdom come! :twisted:


----------



## JackieP

I don't know you Aldra and I know even less about Albert but I do know just from your posts that you are a level headed, caring woman who would do anything for anyone in need. I can't imagine that Albert is anything less - after all, he fell in love with you. I'm sending love and positive healing thoughts to you both. And a kiss. Because everyone needs a kiss. X


----------



## aldra

Steven is seriously lovely

Serious being the word

If invited for a meal

He seriously needs to know what is on the menu

He struggles with his dad's illness

The unknowns are really hard for him

Aldra


----------



## Kaytutt

Chin up, keep looking on the bright side. Christmas dinner will keep you busy as it does me x


----------



## barryd

> *Kaytutt wrote: *Chin up, keep looking on the bright side. Christmas dinner will keep you busy as it does me x


Good point! Maybe we should all turn up unannounced. That should keep Sandra busy. Ill do a global announcement on the Rally forum. 8O

I might even dress up as Santa like last year.

[fullalbumimg:8514d6ba9d]689[/fullalbumimg:8514d6ba9d]

See. You feel better already!


----------



## teemyob

As you say, maybe bad and good.

I feel for you, Both. And your Family.

But, my Neighbour had similar some years ago. He has just had another removed and was 80 last week. Going out for a meal with them Saturday.

Best Wishes.

TM


----------



## rosalan

Wishing you well; always!



Alan


----------



## aldra

It's not going so well

I want to say I'm so supportive it isn't true

But I'm feeling a bit pissed off

It's affecting my life

I can't look forward

I need to pick up the pieces 

But they are so scattered

I can't find them

I'm rubbish

Aldra


----------



## aldra

I'm really pissed of with the plastic surgeons

Told them so today in no uncertain ways

Appointment on Friday with the consultant

I am fuming

As a a co ordinar for hospital social work management
.......now retired

He neds to give a good accut

Aldra


----------



## Phil42

So sorry to hear about this latest setback Sandra.

I wouldn't like to be the consultant on Friday!

I do hope you sort them out and get some kind of satisfaction.

Best wishes to you both,

Phil x


----------



## rosalan

Be angry, be Sandra, be anything but be strong yet again. I am sure that Albert is already worried enough about himself without having to worry about you.

Put on your Nurses face and please keep focused even if you do get angry and frustrated.

It would be good to meet up with you one day but rumour has it that you speak very well in 'north' language, something that does not show up on these threads.

We both speak 'contaminated south' having spent much of our speaking time trying to lose 'midlands', our native tongue.

We went North at one time and had a lot of trouble understanding the language.... how do you manage ?

Alan


----------



## aldra

Alan
You would love my northern tones

I call everyone Luv

And mean it

A spade is a spade

What else could it be?

Possibally a shovel 

Phil, you know.about frustration even more than I do

They are all such lovely people at Christies

But I guess even they slip up

Unfortunately a slip up means pain and out of action for Albert

Again

Melonoma means the same

So they should get it right

We can't trace the tumours until they happen
Anymore than they can

But we expect a quick follow up 

I'll be gentle with them

:evil: :evil: :evil: 

Aldra


----------



## rayrecrok

Hi Sandra.

It's a bugger for you all and I know how you feel, It has been a ****ty week for us too, I had to go over to Bradford to see my diving mate he has just found out he has Bowel cancer and it seems it has gone into his liver and who knows where else, he should be going off for 4 months abroad next week..
And as I called into my sons in Wakefield, Aunt Lilly from Portsmouth was lying on the sofa as her Leukemia has kicked in again, and it looks like it is the beginning of the end for her..

I have to go next week for a MRI scan so that might be a worry, I will see what happens :roll: , I go away on the 10th of December until the end of March...


----------



## aldra

Ray

I'mhoping it's ok for you

For friends and family that's hard

I think for us at te moment is the constraint on our future plans

Although as yet we have a future, which we can't plan

So we should be thankful not angry
We will get there

Maybe :lol: 

Sandra


----------



## DutchPiper

aldra said:


> Ray
> 
> I'mhoping it's ok for you
> 
> For friends and family that's hard
> 
> I think for us at te moment is the constraint on our future plans
> 
> Although as yet we have a future, which we can't plan
> 
> So we should be thankful not angry
> We will get there
> 
> Maybe :lol:
> 
> Sandra


Hi Sandra,
I am not a frequent visitor of this forum, but just read the situation you and your husband are suffering for a couple of years now. I had a melanoom as well 20 years ago, started looking for prevention and found out that good nutrition (lots of fruits and vegetables daily) is very important. It helped me and since 20 years no melanoom anymore. If you want more information just send me a pm.
Regards,
Adrian


----------



## aldra

Hi

Pleased to meet you

We have loads of fruit and veg and juice them as well


Unfortuatey his melonoma was very deep when discovered 

And possibally already penetrated the deep layers into the lymph and blood stream

This is the third tumour in his arm in a year

But the body scans are clear so far

So we hoe

Aldra


----------



## patp

So sorry to hear you are down at the moment. Stay strong and fight but don't be afraid to let go and vent your feelings on here when you need to!


----------



## aldra

We are under no illusions that recurrent melonomas near the original site

Is anything but a bad sign 

But we hang on to the fact 

As yet, maybe they are not occurring internally
So maybe good

I'm not sleeping well, wake up at 3 .45 every morning and lay awake worrying

Not always about Albert

What will I do with a large house, and garden, a motorhome I cannot drive

And what will I do without him

Financially no problem

But how can I sell a house a motorhome etc

It's always been his responsibility

It's how it was in our era

And before you all pitch in

I have always been a professional woman
Actually, very good in my choosen professions

Sorted out everyone's problems

But who can 
sort out mine 
Albert remains strong

Me I sometimes feel I'm falling apart
Just ignore me 
I suppose what I'm saying is
We are just human

It would be great to tell you how strong I feel
But would it?? Many feel like me

We are falling apart
But to those that struggle
Listen
It Will be alright 
Not in the way we choose

But eventually
Aldra


----------



## aldra

Ps
I wish I couldget our shadow back on ny avatar

The hound from hell

Is my special friend 8O 

Sandra


----------



## blondel

That is so true Aldra. I really feel for you. My husband has had 4 very near misses with death in recent times and I too find myself awake at night wondering - what if... I know our 2 children would emotionally support me as far as anyone could but although 1 lives only ¼ mile away the other is closer to 200! The house and the van (if you needed to sell ) would not be beyond you I know. I guess you are only about 4/5 years older than me and yes we were of the generation where the men took care of the major changes in life. 

I am so sorry you are going through this yet again and can only say that you have the whole hearted support of many on this forum.

I am too far away to give you a hug but that is what I would like to do and maybe it does help a little to know that you have all of us wishing and hoping for the best for you.
x
Pat


----------



## bellabee

My heart goes out to you. I know it's easy to say, and hard to do, but please try to stay in the present, and not worry about the details of what might (or might not) happen in the future. 
Your worst fears may not be realised. 
What might happen to your house and garden is, in the scheme of things, not a priority. It's just a practicality which you will deal with (no doubt with the help of your large and loving family), should the need arise.
For the time being, just look after yourself and Albert, and don't be afraid to ask those close to you for help.
I'm sure that they will gladly give it. 
God bless.
Chris


----------



## barryd

Sorry to hear the latest Sandra and that its all getting to you.

At least you have some good friends on here and you can use us to sound off to and chat about your fears and worries openly.

Its a cliche I know but if there is anything I can do dont hesitate. Ill happily jump in the car and drive over and see you both if you want, run out, change of scenery, somebody else to talk to. You only have to ask.

As for your Avatar yes you need to get it back. I keep missing your posts. Do you have it on your ipad? I think there were some issues with Avatars. Lets see if we can get it back up for you. Anyone?


----------



## aldra

Barry my love

I know you would

Let's see what tomorrow brings when we see the consultant

I'm so glad that professionally I never judged people 

It's so easy to imagine how strong you would be in a given situation

Until you find yourself in that given situation

And yes I'm struggling and I suspect most are

So it's better to say that

That way we can find a way out together
Sandra


----------



## patp

I battle with anxiety, as documented on here. It was brought on by Chris having a heart attack, followed by pneumonia and then the diagnosis of asbestosis. One of the symptoms is waking in the early hours. I consulted my doctor and he prescribed anti depressants and Cognitive Behavioural Therapy. Part of that therapy teaches you to interrupt the negative thoughts and put them to one side. They tell you that keep dwelling on the same worries are totally counter productive. Solve what you can solve and make a priority list of the other things and deal with them when you can. Lots of other coping strategies too.

It is very difficult. My GP told me that he is seeing more and more elderly (!) patients with anxiety related issues. He says he wonders if it is because we become aware of our mortality. I wonder if the constant press releases on cures for everything are making us feel that we should live forever. Our ancestors would have been more chilled about it I think.

Chin up. Virtual hugs on their way!


----------



## aldra

I have no concerns about my mortality

I do have concerns about his

And yes we have been together since we were 20 years old

I have no way to assess what it would have been like if we hadn't 

So it's a selfish thing

It's a togetherness born of years , 50 together

It's born of arguments, reconciliations , raising six wonderful kids, wonderful partners they have choosen

And10 fantastic Grandkids

It's the awful feeling about how lonely I would be without him

But

For all that I'm here
And if anyone is lonely, depressed frightned

I'll stand by you
My whole lives work was just that

So you have my email

Aldra


----------



## aldra

Surgeon said he removed the metastasis 

As deep as he could given it was local aneasthetic 

Path lab says it was not deep enough to be clear

He needs another op to remove deeper into the muscle

Op scheduled 5th of dec

But he has no idea if it's spread somewhere he can't get to

As yet they haven't found it

Aldra


----------



## barryd

We are all with you and Albert on this Sandra.

Heres hoping that you have some good news in time for Christmas.


----------



## coppo

Best wishes to both of you, especially Albert, here's hoping for better news soon.

Paul.


----------



## aldra

Phone call from my son inlaw 

To tell me

If the worst happens

We are all here, you will never be alone

We will all be here

It's not the same as having HIM

But then again
We must have done something right

At the moment I feel grateful to them 

It's worked out that we love them all

And the partners may just love us too
But I really want Albert
I'll get there 

Aldra


----------



## aldra

Feeing calmer

Maybe Christies can extend his life

They are trying

Albert is just accepting that all will be well

Whatever the outcome

Me, I'm frantically trying to remember

50 yrs, with him, should have divorced him years ago

To late now   
I've got 6 kids and their partners closing in on me

To say
We are here we will always be here

Love them all

It seems they love us too

But

I really want albert
But if I cant

It's him that has been the king pin
they all adore him

But

It's ME that cooks all the meals  

Aldra


----------



## barryd

Sounds a bit more positive Sandra.

If Albert is thinking positive as well thats a good thing.

I hope they have some good news for you soon.


----------



## aldra

Barry

It's not looking good

Unless there is something that can work to extend his life


Who knows

They're working on it


Sandra


----------



## barryd

I guess its the not knowing for definate whats happening thats the worst thing.

I presume they havent given you any firm prognosis?

I always find this frustrating with doctors. Its like getting blood out of a stone.


----------



## aldra

They can't

They have no idea

We Need to wait

For scan reports

Lumps that come in inbetween

It's how it is

Sandra


----------



## aldra

I'm stuggeling

Is anyone not??

Albert just seems to go on

Me I can't sleep 

Drinking too much wine

Worring all the time

Feel I'm wasting the time we have together

So I am failing on every count

Aldra


----------



## coppo

Don't ruin your own health through this Sandra.

Albert would not want that.

Paul.


----------



## MEES

Sandra you may be right you could be wasting the time you have so....
Deep breaths, long drink put the fear in a box,
Follow your own advice and do what you do best 
Get on with it!!!!
Organise some simple treats day by day- afternoon tea , cinema
Accept any invitation you will get through it whatever is coming.
Don't let a future which may not happen spoil your today.
Hug hug hug
Margaret


----------



## barryd

I cant believe Im saying this but overdoing the wine at this time no matter how much you might want to is probably not a good idea as it will depress you long term and especially the next day.

I know this as I have done it myself. I feel for you and Albert. Fingers still crossed.


----------



## aldra

No he wouldn't coppo

ButI I haven't found a way too cope with it yet

Although I will

I just wonder how many like me struggle

Perhaps it's not allowed to say so

In truth I can't tell my kids, they are struggling too

I lost my best friend, she died last year

So it's down to you lot

Not really

I will be fine
Eventually

Aldra





















So


----------



## blondel

Aldra - It is allowed to say so especially on here. That is what I have come to recognise over the years I have been a member of this forum. It is not just about motorhomes it is a support for people who happen to have motorhomes but may need support for other aspects of their lives. 

You know you have our support and best wishes as well as crossed fingers or prayers. You know well that life can be hard but be ready to take the support that is freely given as you would give to others as is your nature.

Hoping for the best for you
Pat


----------



## Jimblob44

I wish I had the words to help you through this Sandra, I watched my mother fight, and win, three battles with cancer.
I hope you find out that Albert will be ok, but if not you know that despite everything you have had 50 years of companionship, love and all that goes inbetween. You also have umpteen kids and grandkids to give you and Albert all the love and support you need and of course you have your friends here who will always give whatever help they can, even if it is just to give you the opportunity to vent your frustrations.

Jim.


----------



## MEES

Sandra I too went to pieces when my first marriage broke up and got very low.
I was breaking down at work so eventually went to the doc and he diagnosed depression and put me on a course of antidepressants . After about six weeks I was almost sane again  
Never thought I was the sort of person who would take antidepressants and stayed on them gradually decreasing for a couple of years.

By then life had improved and have been fine since 
Don't be afraid to ask for help  

Albert and your family heed you 

Margaret


----------



## rosalan

Perhaps Mees idea could be appropriate at the moment, although not sure which is the worst evil. A medical sedative could help you cope better than wine perhaps but you know all about those things. 

Our thoughts are always with you; you are not alone.

Alan


----------



## bellabee

The truth is that everybody struggles. Yes, we may put on a strong face for the outside world, but inside, many people are falling to pieces.

It can be particularly difficult if you're the one who is used to sorting out other people's problems, and taking the lead in difficult situations. If others see you as being 'the capable one,' it can be very difficult for you and for them to slip into a different role. You may feel that you have to maintain you're usual role - and they may not realise (or really want to realise), that you are now the one who needs their support. I speak from experience of being that 'capable one.'

Your family members are suffering as well - but not as much as you are. You should not feel that it is wrong to be the one who is depending on them for help and support. Ask them for help, and let them help you. 

Of course, you will always find help and support from many people on this forum, but that is different from and should be in addition to the close, personal support which, I am sure, your family will willingly give.


----------



## Christine600

Sandra when I had my scare a few years ago I used a glass or few of wine to calm my nerves when I got really stressed about it all. And it did help for a little while. 

But I eventually stopped when I realized that I really hated the mornings where I had a hangover and felt scared at the same time. And for some reason having the hangover made me more scared. 

So I stopped with the wine. The downside was larger than the upside. But now I enjoy the occasional glass like I used to before.


I know my brother had good help from antidepressants for a few months when he was going trough a rough patch. Like Margaret described it.


----------



## Jamsieboy

Sandra 
Our thoughts are with you, Albert and the wider family.
You have a very large and supportive family - whilst you may be "hiding" your true feelings from them, they will know it is hard and will be there for you both.
Stay in "the present" if you can rather than looking too far ahead. Hope that does not sound pious!!

Best wishes


----------



## HermanHymer

Dearest Sandra

Knowing you the little I do, but understanding you and why you love and depend on Albert as you do, I can't help thinking it's time you got some professional support for yourself. No-one in their right mind would belittle the trauma you are suffering, but those in the know understand that cancer is not a solitary pursuit. It's often a lot harder for the loved ones to cope, than for the sufferer. There are people out there who know this and have the tools/services to help you too. I don't know the names of the organisations in UK who focus on giving support and encouragement to cancer families (perhaps MacMillan or Christie's can connect you), but no doubt someone can chip in the right information... so please do it before you crack up. If I was there I'd come and drag you off myself. You will get through it and surprise yourself - you are competent and a lot more capable than you give yourself credit for. Blessings ... and a big hug to you and the best chipmaker in the land.


----------



## aldra

I'm fine Viv,

It seems to be how I am, reoccurances of the melonoma tumours shock and cause me great anxiety, but there seems to be an optimum moment when I resurface, shake myself and restart and reconnect with God. It's a learning curve and they are never easy

Now back on juicing fruit and veg and strictly vegan soups in preparation for Alberts op, he heals so well during a fast that even the hospital comments and he feels much fitter in himself

So no wine till Christmas 8) 8) 

We will start again during Jan for his Radiotherapy, as even medical research is now finding fasting offers protection to healthy cells whilst making cancer cells more vulnerable to the radiation

We will get through this together, we are well practised after 50 yrs, but it's great having friends on here that I can express my anxiety too when things loom large again

So Thankyou all from the bottom of my heart

Sandra


----------



## suedew

Good to see you sounding more positive, but no wine.  
Vegan wine is available and tastes as good as non vegan, and is fruit based so possibly the odd one?
Our thoughts are with you all.

Sue and John


----------



## barryd

No wine until Christmas!! Argghh! I just gone a week and that was bad enough.  

Have a night on Fruitcakes Sandra. If you think your cracking up you will soon realise how sane you are after a few hours in there.


----------



## Ian_n_Suzy

Hello Sandra & Albert,

Just been reading through the thread and wanted to say you are both in our thoughts and we wish you the very best of luck with everything.

Ian & Suzy


----------



## MEES

Hurrah well done Sandra hug hugxx


----------



## aldra

It will last till the next crisis Margaret

But I suspect it's how we all get through adversity

Slowly and painfully

But we are here to live and grow

And in between there is life and love

And already the spring bulbs are peeking through

And friends and family hold much the same promises as those bulbs

Sandra


----------



## Penquin

Sorry not to have responded before Sandra - we were away in the UK on a canal boat in the rain.......

we now have our new puppy "Bob" too (I blame Shadow for that.....)

but you know that our thoughts and prayers are with both of you, we also know that your family will be there (as usual every Friday evening at least) and will support the pair of you 

You are very special to them and we hope that we are fortunate enough to be able to see that we can identify with them - you are very special to us too......

Keep strong, but there is no weakness in having the odd blip or two - we all do it and I know that you two will tackle everything with 110% of your energy....

Go for it, we are here behind you,

Dave and Lesley


----------



## patp

Glad you are feeling a bit more positive.

Very interesting about the fasting. I remember reading a great article about a vet who was curing cancer in dogs by a natural method most of which was using fruit and veg etc. Try googling CV247. Before his untimely death it had been tried on a few desperate people with very good results.

I still have the article from the dog magazine if you are interested. None of the drug companies would do the research for him as there was no "drug" they could sell at the end of it 

I think one of the Eastern European countries started some research.


----------



## lalala

Hello Aldra and Albert
Not been on the forum for a while so have just read through these posts. I am so sorry to read what you are going through, my thoughts are with you. A day at a time is a bit of a hackneyed concept but it sounds about right. Hope all goes well,
Lala


----------



## aldra

Well

He is back in hospital

Another metastasis in his arm

This time an excision to the bone

He sounds well, but albert always does

He isWorried that the depth may involve some nerve damage and loss of functionality 

The worse worry is that it may be spreading elsewhere where it can't be seen as yet

So we have to keep going and hoping

Aldra


----------



## coppo

Sorry to hear that Sandra.

Give my best wishes to Albert when you go see him Tomorrow.

And to yourself, here's hoping for a speedy recovery and that it hasn't spread.

Paul.


----------



## Jimblob44

Hope everything turns out well for Albert, I'm sure you will be spoiling him soon when he is home again 

Jim.


----------



## jiwawa

"... we have to keep going and hoping...." 

One day at a time Aldra. We're all with you.


----------



## HermanHymer

Thinking of you both and hope it won't be long before they get to the bottom of it. Keeping fingers crossed that day is close. Love to Albert, and you of course.


----------



## Penquin

There are a VERY few couples on MHF that I can recall who really hit a high of interest and concern from the other members of MHF. These couples, as I said few and far between, occupy a very special place in the thoughts of so many of us and this exemplifies what is exceptional and unique about MHF.

We all hope that Albert's current problems will soon subside and that they will be able to return to enjoy their weekly family evenings - even though the workload of those evenings seems to only fall on Sandra - but she has broad shoulders and an incredible attitude.

Keep up the supporting posts for them - I am sure that both of them gain considerably from being able to know how many people are thinkiung of them both (and of course of Shadow too).

Best wishes,

Dave


----------



## rosalan

[quote="Penquin" Sandra - has broad shoulders and an incredible attitude.
Dave[/quote]

Penqwy! Are you saying Sandra is fat and a bit odd? Tut Tut!

You have met her and unfortunately I have not.... from my distance she is the epitome of caring womanhood, even though she is from up north.

Take no notice Sandra, you will always be a Queen in my eyes. All the best to you and yours.

Alan


----------



## Penquin

Oh dear, it is easy to be misinterpreted......

Sandra is lovely, she would go to the and of the earth to help anyone and for many people that is the response they willingly give her...

Yes we have been privileged to have them here, having only exchanged messages via MHF and this was one the more fortuitous meetings that just happen.

We feel proud to count her as friends and welcome her back whenever she can visit this part of France.

Dave


----------



## aldra

Well they sent him home complete with drain

He convinced them he knows all about drains

And he does

Out at 7am walking in the hospital frosty
grounds

It is looking like he has full range of movement although his arm is swollen with fluid

In spite of the fact they came three times to tell him of everything that could go wrong

In the end he said look I can't deal with the problems before they happen, but I'm assuming I have an excellent surgical team and that things will be as good as they could possibally be and it seems they said they would be

I wonder if that was because we made an unofficial complaint about the 
communication 

This was an operation that shouldn't have happened if communication had been better

But it's albert
He just bounces back, never complains about pain
He says he leaves all the complaining to me 8O 8O 

Aldra


----------



## oldtart

So pleased to hear that Albert is home, Sandra.

When does he have to go back for a check-up?

I do hope that, like me, you have been given contact numbers day and night if you have any concerns; and, of course that there is someone at the other end of the phone who can help!

Do keep us informed.

Love to You both.

Val


----------



## tugboat

So glad he is back home, that man is a toughy! 8O Get well soon, Albert.


----------



## Penquin

The experiences that they have gone through would have flat-packed lesser people - it is no great surprise to us that both of them have such hidden strength.

Best wishes for Lesley too, Sandra and Albert,

Dave


----------



## aldra

Hey
PEnquins and Lesley, my lovely ones

You know Albert

He just keeps going

I'm often flat packed

He never is, he is wandering around 

Helping with dinner

This man is amazing

And this man is MiNE  

Aldra


----------



## suedew

Sandra you and Albert are a great team. glad to hear he is home. Love to both and the hound

Sue


----------



## barryd

Good news Sandra.

Glad Albert is back home. He is amazing.


----------



## blondel

Great news Sandra.


----------



## aldra

Lovely to have your support

So many of you are going through worse

But maybe are not able or don't want to say so 

Some are very private

Me an X nurse and social worker 

I don't find it difficult, illness of any kind is second nature to me

Heartache of others, part of my working life

I hope I shared it with them

And now it's mine

And others are sharing it with me

And it helps

We all all linked by a common thing

Everything that could ever happen to us

Has already happened to someone, somewhere

We are never alone  
Aldra


----------



## oldtart

Those words are just so true, Sandra. 

You put it so well.

Thank you. 

Val


----------



## MEES

Hi Sandra and Albert sorry have jot been on for a few days it's been hectic here greeting ready for Christmas between sick grandchildren dogs and mum
Sorry to here Albert had to have further surgery really hope that is the end of it and you can enjoy Christmas


----------



## jiwawa

Aldra, I'm probably one of the more private ones on here, but your last post brought tears to my eyes. 

May you go on sharing and being supported. I've met a number of 'Aldras' in my life and you're worth your weight in gold. 

Thank you.


----------



## HermanHymer

aldra said:


> Hey
> PEnquins and Lesley, my lovely ones
> 
> You know Albert
> 
> He just keeps going
> 
> I'm often flat packed
> 
> He never is, he is wandering around
> 
> Helping with dinner
> 
> This man is amazing
> 
> And this man is MiNE
> 
> Aldra
> 
> So aren't you just the lucky one?
> 
> Yes I agree 100% he is the most wonderful man, steadfast as the rock of Gibraltar. And I endorse Dave's opinion as well - Sandra you have a heart as big as a house. How can anyone not respect the courage you show to share your deepest feelings with us all? I wish I could!
> 
> Bottom line? Albert has more good wishes/prayers coming his way than you could ever imagine. I hope this gives you strength.
> 
> Much love to you both.
> 
> PS I interviewed a young man yesterday 30 years old just recovering from testicular cancer, doing so much to spread the word and 2 weeks ago a young German girl who was spending time in SA volunteering for CANSA after a double mastectomy at the age of 17. What is it about cancer that can bring out the best in people?


----------



## aldra

Come on VIv

You were just swayed by his chips 
:lol: :lol: 

And we were swayed by your curry

And you

Wish I had your strength 

Anyway next year is already booked, you are coming to stay with us again

Please God

Sandra


----------



## aldra

Well 

I suppose things had to go wrong

His wound has become infected internally

It's been a pain

Although he hasn't felt pain

Fortunately we hope that the drain which was removed was a good thing and is allowing the infection to drain

Another mix up with who's dealing with what

Any way our local emergancy service has prescribed antibiotics

And our doctor will check him out on wed
And our Grandaughter is home from uni

She was really upset with the wound

She is so close to her grandad

And hard though it is

She needs to accept what is happening
But not when she's miles away

Please God nothing will happen suddenly

But she will always know the tremendous love he has for her

A baby we cared for more than usual because of circumstances

He massaged that baby every day, loved her,talked to her constantly

He adores all his grandkids

But a special bond here

She texts him every day

Me ,Raised in children's homes
Loved by no one

Till I met him, I know the power of that love
He has bathed the whole family in it

Aldra


----------



## coppo

Lets hope the antibiotics work quickly Sandra.

Best wishes to yourself and of course Albert, a lovely man even though I only met him for one weekend.

Regards

Paul.


----------



## Cazzie

You have lots of people who love you now. It's just a return of the love you give out.

Thinking of you and Albert at this difficult time.

Cazzie.


----------



## barryd

Sorry to hear of this Sandra. Please pass on my best wishes to Albert. Fingers crossed that it heals up ok.


----------



## aldra

Bless 
her

She has scrubbed her hands

And I am teaching her to dress her grandads wound

Most of its fine so it's just the drain hole

But it means she is interacting

Helping

And I hope slowly absorbing

It may not be all be wellover the long term

But it will with her, loved, by her love, her grandad and so many others

And one day she will transfer that love to one who loves her

And if that one loves her as her grandad has loved me

She has nothing to fear

Aldra


----------



## aldra

Bless 
her

She has scrubbed her hands

And I am teaching her to dress her grandads wound

Most of its fine so it's just the drain hole

But it means she is interacting

Helping

And I hope slowly absorbing

It may not be all be wellover the long term

But it will with her, loved, by her love, her grandad and so many others

And one day she will transfer that love to one who loves her

And if that one loves her as her grandad has loved me

She has nothing to fear

Aldra


----------



## aldra

Sorry

Twice by me

It was enough the first time :lol: 

Aldra


----------



## aldra

Hey auntie Sandra

We know don't we??

What it's like to be loved and the power of that love

You more than me

I'm still afraid

But 

Sandra


----------



## JockandRita

> coppo posted.........Lets hope the antibiotics work quickly Sandra.
> 
> Best wishes to yourself and of course Albert, a lovely man even though I only met him for one weekend.
> 
> Regards
> 
> Paul.


And the very same sentiments from me too Sandra. It was the very same weekend that Rita and I met you and Albert.

You are obviously feeling very vulnerable and isolated at this time, as you are not in control of things, which is totally understandable. No one can know exactly how you are feeling, and we can only try to understand the anxiety and worry that you must be going through.

Your Granddaughter's interaction will help her to cope with Albert's condition, which will strengthen her outlook on the situation.

Kindest regards to you at this time Sandra. :love9:

Jock. xx


----------



## MEES

Sandra hope the antibiotics are kicking in and Albert is healing.
Great to hear Megan is with you and giving you strength.
Love and best wishes 
Margaret


----------



## aldra

They are Margaret 

The wound looks so much better

Our GP has put an emergancy appointment to look at it tomorrow

He didn't need to

I think it's looking good :lol: 

Well it's not so good,I have a scarred man 8O :lol: 

Yet again

We need a stich removing kit from him

Our daughter a nurse will remove them

He is happier with that

Tomorrow we are going to IKEA after the appointment

Just to look
Well it's Christmas

Love to all of you, remember love makes the world go round
Especially at Christmas

Aldra


----------



## aldra

Well we asked to be informed of the biopsy report

The nurse informed us that there is now a clear margin

The consultant says he feels it's enough but he will take it to the MDT

For discussion

So we will take it as good, and if so if no other lumps present we are clear till the March scan

So maybe next Christmas will be on

Although I'm knackered already with this one   

Aldra


----------



## Nethernut

Good news Aldra xx


----------



## Christine600

I'm glad you got some good news - and just before Christmas too.

Now you can really enjoy the holiday all of you!


----------



## coppo

Yes more promising news Sandra, that should help the turkey go down a little easier.

Best wishes to yourself, Albert and the family this Christmas.

Paul.


----------



## barryd

Well that is good news! I hope you can both manage to enjoy Christmas now and many more in the future!!


----------



## tugboat

Fan-bl..dy-tastic, Sandra, I'm so happy I might do a weewee in my trousers! 

I told you it was going to be OK. Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to you both.

I do believe I'm going to break out the gin bottle and celebrate.

Yeehah.


----------



## Tucano

Glad to hear the news Sandra,
Make mine a coffee tugboat 8O


----------



## suedew

Great excellent whoopy doo !!!!
Delighted for you all, now deep breath, relax (a bit) and enjoy Christmas

Sue n John


----------



## Kaytutt

Excellent news Sandra x


----------



## JockandRita

Sandra, I am so pleased for you and Albert. 

Great news, and just before Christmas as well. :thumbright: 

Al the very best to you both over Christmas and New Year. Here's to good health for 2015. :drinking: 

Cheers for now,

Jock (& Rita). xx


----------



## jedi

Have a very Merry Christmas, Sandra, and best wishes for even better news in 2015.

Jed


----------



## rosalan

.... and another best wishes and celebration from me. I love good news and you are the bringer of it. I knew it would be ok! when I opened the Advent calendar door with a horseshoe in it (although I wanted chocolate).

Alan


----------



## aldra

bless you all and a very happy Christmas to you and yours

May the blessings of Christmas extend into 2015

Love

Sandra and Albert


----------



## rayrecrok

See there is a Father Christmas.. 

love from Sandra And Ray..


----------



## alexblack13

Great news Sandra. 

Carol and I wish Albert and yourself (and everyone here) A VERY healthy, peaceful and safe new year. We hope you manage many fun filled hours and miles in the MH. Sure you will.

Merry Xmas. 

Alex & carol Black.


----------



## HermanHymer

Hi Sandra and Albert

That's brilliant news. Now put your worries aside, relax and enjoy Christmas with your lovely family. 

Here's hoping the good news continues in 2015. So looking forward to seeing you again. I'll be back on 20 March. 

Big hugs to you both, and 'hi' to all the youngsters.


----------



## barryd

> *rayrecrok wrote: *See there is a Father Christmas..
> 
> love from Sandra And Ray..


Yep and his name is Ray!!











And he can Dance!! CLICK ME!


----------



## jncrowe

Hello Aldra (Sandra)... I did think your name was Aldra and very exotic a name too 
I have been away from MHF for months due to circumstances .... 
I am lucky to have read these posts backwards in that I knew things were looking better before I read the older posts 
Ive never met you or Albert but I love your posts and replies, they are always so thoughtful and sensible 
The things that I have read in the past hour or so must have given you such a boost ...to know you both are loved and respected by so many of us ...well all of us that "know" you on here is so special a tribute to you both 
You have given me personally a great deal of advice and support ,especially recently about Poppy who is much brighter and livelier since the sardines kicked in !
Nothing we say or do will change how Albert comes out of this, but if prayers and good thoughts and wishes can make him better then you need to worry no more 
WE only live in Preston and our Son and Son in law work at Ford in Bury so we are practically family aren't we ? 
I do hope you have had some good family time over Christmas and will no doubt enjoy the New Year
I have been studying Mindfulness and it is very helpful to people who are prone to worry If you google This Morning Paul Schofield and Mindfulness he interviews a bloke called PADRAIG O' MORAIN and I was very impressed I leaned a lot of ways to cut back on "pointless" worry.He teaches about how worrying does not help outcomes etc etc 
Anyway this was supposed to be a short word of support for you and Ive gone wittering on Again
So I will send you a big Hug and go to bed 
All the Very Best Love Cath X


----------



## bigtree

Just read your post Sandra,that's great news.Have a great New Year and we will try and meet up again.


----------



## aldra

Hope so

You two lovely people

Sandra and albert


----------



## oldtart

Just found this post, Sandra.

So pleased for you and Albert.

Hope you had a super Christmas and as Jock says, good health in the the new year.

Val and Dave


----------



## alexblack13

Hi Sandra / All

I sincerely hope you all had a very nice and peaceful Xmas. 


Very happy to hear things are positive with Albert and yourself Sandra. All very good news indeed. Wonderful. Are you planning any jaunts yet? We will be early next year. I have a consultant appointment mid Jan and afterwards we are offski. Portugal I think. But not the Algarve. 

I also had another hormone injection a week or so ago and we had my PSA results yesterday. It is less than 0.1 As good as it gets. To say this lifted my spirits somewhat is an understatement. 

So we had two reasons for celebrations. Our Daughter announced her engagement..  Fantastic... 

And Carol read me the PSA results ( I was frightened to look!! LOL ) So a few tears and three bottles of Champers later.. Three or four sore heads.. :lol: :lol: 

Today is our son's birthday so we are about to head off to his house for 'Brunch'.. Bacon rolls etc. 

Carol and myself wish yourself (and everyone reading) all the very best for 2015. And above all else. The very best of health. 

Happy new year. 

Alex & Carol Black.


----------



## Tan-all-over

All the best from us, so glad all's good with you both. Regards Chris and Sandra


----------



## 4maddogs

Great news. So glad you were able to hear that before Christmas. 
Now 2015 will be better I am sure
Julie


----------



## aldra

Hey there Alex

Great news, I'm so happy for you and carol

Albert starts his radiotherapy for the prostate on the 13 jan

We are not really concerned as long as no side effects

He is bloated on the hormones though

Hopefully good news re the last removed tumour to be confirmed on the 13th at christies later in the day

We keep going 

Well we have too

Nothing planned as yet

Other than selling the hound from hell

Open bidding in the new year :lol: :lol: 

Don't go too high 

There is a limit I can afford to pay to the " lucky " 8O 8O 

Aldra


----------



## javea

Hi Aldra,

Glad to hear that things are looking better for Albert, I start radiotherapy for my prostate on the 19th so we will have to compare side effects - hoping that they are not too bad for either of us.  

Mike


----------



## aldra

Mike

Sort it together

Now the effects of the hormones

Count me out

I had no sympathy or understanding

So :evil: :evil: 

Pm us and chat with him

Aldra


----------



## aldra

Mike

Have just re read that

Didn't sound the way I meant

Albert would love to follow through with you

It helps

I'm sure you will both be fine

Just don't have a better bust than me  :lol: 

On the hormones 

So okay it's a temp arrangement

Just don't forget it's temp

You will go back to absolutely boreingingly 

Normal
Aldra


----------



## javea

No problems Aldra, sounded fine to me.

Will pm you later.

Mike


----------



## alexblack13

Radio therapy.

I was neither up nor down after 7.5 weeks (37 visits) every week day. Did have some tiredness though. Kinda lead legs. Still have in fact.

You guys (if not already) will have gold seed markers inserted and small tattoos to help the radiographers aim their machines. All quick and simple. You will need to have a full bladder and will find timing is everything but all manageable. You feel nothing mostly. It gets a bit like a big boys club and the craik is good. Almost enjoyable. I found it difficult on my last day to say goodbye to people who had become friends. The hormones play havoc with your emotions. Not half they do.. 

All the best with it but the new tech' is very good and they don't miss now. 

A Happy and healthy new year to all.

Alex... :wink:


----------



## alexblack13

Happy to discuss or talk through the treatments if anyone wishes.

PM me and I will give you my telephone number.

Al' ....


----------



## aldra

Alex

The hormones play havak with your emotions

They really don't

They give you an insight that you would never ever been privy to,

We only live once

And you have been privey to something most men will never know

But you now know

And yes given a choice we would all back out

But just how wrong would we have been

You are unique  

Aldra


----------



## HermanHymer

To all of you sufferers and partners I wish you well in 2015. It's a journey, and it'll be over faster than you think. You won't forget it ever, but you will get past it. (cancer 3 x !!)


----------



## aldra

Well 

The team decided that the margine around the last removal was suffient

He was lucky, even though it was deep into his muscle the surgeon managed to preserve the nerve

He can use his arm although it's a bit swollen 

Next hurdle the scan, end of Feb

If no other " visable" melonomas present between then

The radiotherapy on the prostate the is going the way radiotherapy goes  

The homones are difficult

Hot sweats, lethargy 

I remember it well  

Sandra


----------



## Nethernut

Sandra, tell him sympathy from me for the hormones, in the end I took a homeopathic treatment something to do with snake venom - it worked for me! 
Sounding a wee bit more positive, maybe you will get a trip away in the motorhome yet.
Jan x


----------



## jiwawa

That's good news Aldra. Take it a day at a time.


----------



## bigtree

Great news Sandra,tell Albert Lil and I were asking for him and we will have a meet up some time this year.

Trev.


----------



## barryd

All sounds positive Sandra! Best wishes to you both. Hope all goes well in Feb.


----------



## Penquin

Please pass on OUR best wishes and smiles - we are both very pleased to hear some good news,

Dave and Lesley


----------



## aldra

Fingers crossed

Hoping

We need a trip away

The hound from hell 

Wants a trip away

So we are hoping

9 th of  FEb

Finished

Homones a month later

We wait 

Aldra


----------



## Nethernut

We've all got our fingers crossed for the two of you Sandra


----------



## HermanHymer

Hang in there, pal! Keeping fingers crossed. Love to Albert xxx You gotta be desperate to go mh'ing in February!

I tried Albert's tip of Epsom salts on the grapefruit tree, it's looking luxuriant, but the lime tree curled up and died and the lemon was looking manky (not enough sun I think). So off to the nursery for replacements - especially for the cancer cure (separate post), nah it's for the G&T's and Campari's.


----------



## aldra

I know

All those fingers crossed

Must be worth something

And if it doesn't turn out the way we want

All those crossed fingers will always will always be so special to me and albert

Sandra


----------



## 113016

Sandra, I have followed your threads, and I sincerely hope all goes well with Albert. Please give Albert our best wishes!
I don't often comment as I am afraid I am one of those people who doesn't like illness, and I come across quite hard, although in reality I am not. Even with the Elledog thing, I am hardened, but that is the outside, not my inside. I just don't show feelings very well  
Anyway, I have said too much, but all the best to Albert and not least, but you are a Massive credit to M/H facts.
Thank You for your support!


----------



## aldra

Garth

And I love you

I know my friends 

You come across as a pussycat with muscles :lol: :lol: 

Sandra


----------



## 113016

meeoww :lol:


----------



## Penquin

Good news, give Albert a special hug from us and Shadow a tentative one from Bob....

best wishes, I hope Feb 9th comes soon

Dave


----------



## aldra

You know albert Dave 

He goes each day for his radiotherapy

Says he is fine

Although the homones cause problems

HIs Melonoma is checked, sometimes good sometimes not

He just keeps going

Sandra


----------



## coppo

Hoping for good news Sandra.

Paul.


----------



## rosalan

Make plans and you can go to the Ball; no plans, no Ball.
I hope you have begun to plan the places to visit and possible routes to follow, these dreams do not always come off as planned but we need dreams.
My wife is awaiting surgery and we are struggling to get a date. Whatever happens, our van will not be able to move for three months at least after her op but whether we travel mid-summer or early Autumn or next winter, we will travel.... dreams.

Always thinking of you both.

Alan


----------



## Christine600

Definately crossing my fingers for you three!!!


And I agree with Alan. Planning a trip is much fun too. Just be flexible on the departure date.


----------



## aldra

Alan I hope you get a date soon and your wife has her op behind her

Sometimes it's just not having control of things that is unsettling

Wishing her all the best for a speedy recovery

sandra


----------



## alexblack13

Hi Sandra,

Did Albert ever try the medication I suggested? This is after I struggled with the hot sweats and flushes for ages before deciding to take the advice of my specialist nurses.

Certainly worked very well for myself. Transformed that aspect of the treatment for me. 

Check the spelling but something like Cyproterone Acetate. His nurses will know what he is talking about..... 

The radio therapy treatment for me went without a hitch. Feeling the after effects now though. Wooden legs and leaded feet ... But improving. 

My last PSA count was below the recordable level at 0.1.. So going well for myself. Albert will be the same! It is very treatable.

Best wishes from Mrs B and myself.


Alex.


----------



## aldra

He is managing Alex

Nicked my fan at night though

I had a fan through the menopause

Got me through the nights

Became a habit I just like a fan on me at night

And now it's his side of the bed
But it's helping him

Aldra


----------



## alexblack13

I now about the fan therapy..Lol... But, Thank goodness no more issues. Nocturnal fan activities are a thing of the past 

:lol: :lol: 

All the very best.

Enjoy the trip.

Al' ....


----------



## aldra

What do you mean a thing of the past  :lol: ??

The way forward may be different

But hey

Interesting

 

Aldra


----------



## tubbytuba

Hope Alberts doing well.

Best wishes from Steve and Mary xx


----------



## aldra

He seems to be Steve

But who can tell with Albert?

Everything is fine

He says

Sandra


----------



## aldra

Well the radiotherapy is finished

Unfortunately the hormone therapy won't be competed till the end of April

He is blousey and fat
Suffering from hot sweats

Today was the scan for melonoma

We are really hoping it's clear
We have had enough of surgery

To remove reoccurances
But of courseif they show up elsewhere internally

They will need to be dealt with one way or another

We are hoping to go away at the end of April

He is doing his bike licence

Keep us in your thoughts

Aldra


----------



## Nethernut

You are both definitely my thoughts. With the power of your and everyone else's all will be well x
:smile2:


----------



## barryd

Always in our thoughts Sandra (and Albert), I was saying to Michelle tonight its about time I paid Sandra and Albert a visit again!! :surprise:


----------



## Carl_n_Flo

Always Sandra!!!!!

April isnt that far away - and tell Albert best of luck with his bike test.....

'live to ride'.....


----------



## suedew

Thinking of you both. Have you got a trailer sorted for the bike yet? 

sue


----------



## tugboat

Albert blousey and fat? Good grief, I thought you were describing me!:surprise:

I'd better lend him some of my clothes till he gets fit again.

You two are frequently in my thoughts, Sandra, and I hope we'll get the chance to meet up again sometime this year.


----------



## aldra

Barry, you know you are always welcome :smile2:

Tuggy same goes for you :smile2:

And that little tease Ellie, she had the hound from bells heart a flutter0

Sue, we have decided to go with the hydra lift legal or no

It seems ideal for what we require so we will risk it

As luck would have it we are buying it from a member on here and have been to see it in action

Tomorrow we are off to Amiitage, Yorkshire to have a tow bar fitted, we were impressed with the professionalism of the company, they knew exactly what was 
needed
we are thinking of going for the reinforced tow bar that could carry a scooter rack

We haven't the payload to actually carry our scooter 136Kl, that way , but we could remove the wheels on the hydra trail if there was a dispute regarding 
trailer or rack for ferry crossing without compromising the rear axle

And it would in the future for someone with a lighter scooter enable them to fit a rack

Sandra


----------



## barryd

Glad your getting the Scooter Rack sorted. Armitage fitted ours back in 2008 and its been brilliant. Great for battering things with. 

Bit of good news on that front for us as well. As you know the Pig (scooter) died and has finally been retired (there were tears) but next Thursday we have a 110cc Honda Vision coming from Hunts in Manchester. Not brand new but a couple of years old and in mint condition.

Will give you a bell as I am coming to Manchester soon!! >

Good luck with the Rack!! Soon it will be warm enough to use the blooming thing hopefully!


----------



## Penquin

aldra said:


> He seems to be Steve
> 
> But who can tell with Albert?
> 
> Everything is fine
> 
> He says
> 
> Sandra


We have been away in the MH for the last week (getting the 7 month old collie used to it - which he LOVED) and we were talking about Albert (and Sandra and Shadow of course) only last night, so it was on my agenda to find out how things are going.

Great to read that post, hopefully you will be able to fit in another visit here when you get the urge (no concrete this year though......


----------



## barryd

Sandra. Has the hound from hell been drinking? Someone posted this on "another forum"

http://motorhomefruitcakes.freeforums.net/thread/4841/all-shadow


----------



## aldra

Brilliant:grin2::grin2:
Aldra


----------



## jncrowe

Hi Aldra Just letting you know I am keeping an eye on events and I know you are doing the same with Poppy (no change ) Im trying to like this new site its hard going 
All the very best to you both 
Cath XX


----------



## aldra

Well unfortunately

Not good

He has tumours in the lymph nodes under inhis arm

After total removal

They can't get them all

But

Nothing shows up on the scan in other places which is good

So another op
And we won't be going any where in May

It is what it is

Aldra


----------



## barryd

Thats awful news Sandra. So sorry. When you say they cant get them all do you mean they cannot remove the ones in the Lymph nodes or they didnt get them all before?

Bad news about not getting away as well. I sincerely hope you can at some point. You both deserve break.


----------



## tugboat

Oh, Sandra, poor Albert. I'm so sorry to hear he has to endure another op and all it entails. I had hoped so hard that you seen the end of that, and this year could get away and have a break. As Barry says, you both really deserve it after all you have been through.


----------



## aldra

It's not Barry

It's what it is

We know every thing is what it is

Now

Do you like aubrugines ?.

Will moussaka do

We will get there with all of you lot
One way or another

Sandra and Albert


----------



## barryd

aldra said:


> It's not Barry
> 
> It's what it is
> 
> We know every thing is what it is
> 
> Now
> 
> Do you like aubrugines ?.
> 
> Will moussaka do
> 
> We will get there with all of you lot
> One way or another
> 
> Sandra and Albert


Love Moussaka! Will PM you later as I am waiting for my customer to come back to me as there is an issue that needs resolving before I go.


----------



## aldra

So there you go

My toy boy is on his way

My Albert really likes my toy boy

God is in his heaven

Alls right with the world

Sandra:smile2:


----------



## Penquin

Not pleased to read that but I know that the pair of you will simply move on together with your family and friends behind you in total awe at the positive way that you deal with problems.

I know for a fact that your cooking is brilliant, so if Barry is going for a Moussaka he will be in for a real treat - like your hummus which reflects the love that you put into everything that you do....

Lesley and Bob send you their best wishes too, Shadow's stick is still sat by the back door for when he next feels the need for it, we have no intention of moving such an important artefact.....

Keep your chin up,

Dave


----------



## aldra

It will be fine

It's how it is

Keep that stick Penguin
Who knows
We might be there again

Sandra and albert


----------



## Penquin

We sincerely hope that there is no "might" in that, your welcome is assured at any time.

Dave


----------



## aldra

Bless you both:smile2
Sandra


----------



## coppo

Sorry to hear that Sandra, like you say it is what it is and you will both deal with it. Thinking of you both.


----------



## HermanHymer

Hi Sandra


So sorry to hear there's another sleeping policeman in the road. It demands courage to face yet another op, but Albert has that in shedloads and he will deal with it in his inimitable manner - cool, calm and collected. Undoubtedly your support Sandra makes it all do-able. My thoughts are with you daily.


That trip will happen when its meant to happen. We never know why things don't happen in 'our time', but there's always a reason.


Looking forward to seeing you soon, DV. Did you say you had 2 spare beds?? I hope so, otherwise Barry might have to share with me!! :surprise:


----------



## aldra

Not a chance VIv 

If he's not sharing with me he's sharing with no one

But he would share with no one

But his lovely Michelle

He might share with Albert though>>

Sandra:smile2:


----------



## aldra

In truth though

I'm really anxious about it all

Long term it's not good

But I have Albert 

And as he says

How long is long term?

Let's just go with it

Aldra


----------



## Kaytutt

thinking of you Sandra and Albert

Life is **** sometimes but there is always good too

Will you be able to get away in the van for short breaks locally?


----------



## aldra

Possibility Kay

But we don't have dates for the op yet

And then it takes weeks till he is able to drive again

So basically no

Last year was taken up with prostate cancer treatment

Following deep surgery on his arm

So we wait

Again

Aldra


----------



## bigtree

So sorry to hear this latest news Sandra,tell Albert we are thinking of him and hope to meet up soon.

Lil 'n Trev.


----------



## javea

Hi Sandra, been on the road for five days and just connected broadband in my house in Javea to catch up on what's been happening on the forum.

So sorry to hear of Albert's situation. Please pass on my best wishes to him.

Mike


----------



## suedew

Sandra, what a bummer, our thoughts with you both, hope the support you have for each other from family and friends, both real and cyber sees you through. 
You make a great mushroom soup and chicken dinner too. x

Sue n John


----------



## 113016

*Hi Sandra*

Hi Sandra
So very sorry to hear Albert is still in trouble, and some of your trips have been postponed. We do understand and apart from loosing our best friend Elle Dog, Mrs G seems to be up and down to the hospital, nearly every week. In fact, she is spending the whole day there again as I type! Very difficult to plan anything!
Please give our regards and best wishes to Albert
Apologies for such a late reply, but I don't seem to come on the forum anywhere near as much as I used to, as it has lost it's appeal, and to be honest, we have more important things going on.
Again, best wishes to Albert and of course to yourself!


----------



## margrae

*Hi Sandra*

Have just read through your thread and thought I would just like to say you are amazing. Life's journey certainly throws up some unexpected surprises, some will be good and others down right unfair and we have to dig deep to deal with what life throws our way. 
We have to learn to accept what we cannot change but that doesn't mean we stop living, every day is a new day and we never know what lies ahead.

I was a paediatric nurse and it never ceased to amaze me the way children coped with illness.....when they felt good they played and laughed ......when they felt bad they sought comfort. Us bigger people just find it a bit harder .

Sandra....you just keep doing what you are doing together .

Margaret


----------



## aldra

Margaret

I'm not amazing
I get very depressed especially in the small hours of the night

The amazing one is Albert 
I couldn't cope without him

And it's meant to be the other way round

But we are a team so we will muddle through

We have already got the biopsy dates and an appointment with the surgeon

And he's ordered a full body scan that will look carefully at all soft tissues and the circulating blood to plan interventions
The wonders of modern science

We won't get away in May, but he's bought more seeds as we may well be here for the harvest:smile2::smile2:
Usually the kids get to pick the lettuce, rocket and most of the tomatoes etc

>>>

Aldra


----------



## margrae

Sandra......we are all human and suffer the same, just some are better at hiding it than others. As a healthcare professional it was your job to help and support others in difficult situations but it doesn't make it any easier to cope when the fear and uncertainty are so close and personal to you. 
We can be strong one minute and the next especially in the wee small hours the voices of fear and doubt start getting louder.
You both are incredible people even if you don't see yourself in that way.
Hope is what keeps us going.......and I believe in the individual.......no two people are the same no matter what statistics say.
I wish Albert all the luck in the world with his upcoming scan and just keep doing what you have been doing.....sticking together.:love8:


PS
I am up till the wee small hours most nights if you need an ear!

Margaret


----------



## aldra

Well tonight I feel bad

So of all of you that feel bad for whatever reason

Hang in there with me

We don't need to feel positive

We just feel

But tomorrow is a new day

We will get there step by step.

An hopeless that I am

You have my E mail

Aldra


----------



## HermanHymer

Hi Sandra


Thinking of you and sending you a comforting hug!!


Love,:love9:


----------



## aldra

It's going to 
befine

I know you lot don't jbelieve in God


----------



## aldra

Woopse that wasn't meant

I really believe in GOd

And yes I could be wrong

But

It's how it is. 

I just love him

But i love every one
And God or no

Loving every one seems 

Ok

Aldra


----------



## Penquin

To Sandra, as you well know and practice;

*"Love is the only thing that the more you give away, the more you get"*

Dave


----------



## aldra

And there I am

Loving everyone

But

Frightened that Albert won't make it 

But then again

It's not finished yet
50 yrs

How lucky am I 

Aldra


----------



## MEES

Sandra you are fantastic now open another bottle


----------



## margrae

Hi Sandra
Any more news yet.....has Albert had his scan and biopsy ?.
Wishing you both well


Margaret :love7:


----------



## aldra

Hi Margaret

He had an ultrasound and biopsy yesterday

The radiologist said there was a cluster of cells in a lymph node and that he got a good sample. I thought the main scan showed two but Albert wasn't clear if he said one or two

We see the consultant surgeon on Monday and hopefully will get a date for removal, he usually operates on Albert

On Thursday he goes for a whole body PET-CT scan, which I believe shows the internal working of organs and blood flow etc. Cancer takes up glucose differently from normal tissue so can be identified prior to tumours forming unlike the 6monthly scan which only identifies clusters of cancer cells

A least it will give a clearer picture at least at a moment in time

sandra


----------



## JackieP

Thinking of you.


----------



## suedew

aldra said:


> Hi Margaret
> 
> He had an ultrasound and biopsy yesterday
> 
> The radiologist said there was a cluster of cells in a lymph node and that he got a good sample. I thought the main scan showed two but Albert wasn't clear if he said one or two
> 
> We see the consultant surgeon on Monday and hopefully will get a date for removal, he usually operates on Albert
> 
> On Thursday he goes for a whole body PET-CT scan, which I believe shows the internal working of organs and blood flow etc. Cancer takes up glucose differently from normal tissue so can be identified prior to tumours forming unlike the 6monthly scan which only identifies clusters of cancer cells
> 
> A least it will give a clearer picture at least at a moment in time
> 
> sandra


Thanks for the information Sandra, hope all goes well for you both, keep taking the medicine:wink2: it helps you get through

Sue


----------



## javea

Best wishes for Thursday Sandra.

Mike


----------



## aldra

Hey 

We will get there

With the help of all you friends on here

It's hard dealing with the uncertainty

But the truth is uncertainty is there for all of us

It's just harder when we are forced to face it full on

Mostly we bask in the unreality of certainty

Which is prob why it hits us hard

When we realise nothing is certain or lasting

The good or the bad

Aldra


----------



## aldra

A little blip

We have found another small tumour under the skin in the same armpit

Once you have seen them you know

A tiny purple lump

But we see the consultant surgeon tomorrow and he will see it

So a deep tumour and a surface tumour

It's not good but it is in the same area same arm

So unless it's showing internally

We are still level 3

Aldra


----------



## aldra

And believe me
I really mean WE

Sandra


----------



## barryd

Hope it all goes well with the consultant tomorrow. Keep us updated.


----------



## teemyob

Best Wishes for tomorrow, I am up your way so will be thinking of you all.

Trev


----------



## coppo

Good luck for tomorrow both of you.
Paul.


----------



## MEES

Fingers crossed for you both

Margaret


----------



## oldtart

Thinking about you both for tomorrow, Sandra and Albert.

Val


----------



## Wilmannie

Very best wishes, thinking about you both and hoping you get some good 

news.


----------



## pneumatician

*Cancer*

Some five years ago my wife Valerie was operated on to remove Cancer of the Pirotid gland. This was in her skull approx ear level. They had to remove her teeth and lower mandible in order to remove all of the nerves from the left side of the face. They thought they had succeeded and the operation was followed by large daily doses of radiotherapy and twelve months later a cosmetic operation to realign her face. So all went well for four years then last year whilst in France Val became very ill and we returned home quickly (900 miles in two days). She was very poorly and a drug pump was installed prior to successive tests etc. The Cancer had Metastasized and was now in her Brain, Lungs and Bones. They thought at that time the end was nigh and we were dealing with Palative care (St Giles) nurses. Daily district nurses etc. Then after treatment they thought she had about six months. Now the latest following more radiotherapy twelve months plus is the prognosis. We are currently awaiting the latest MRI and CT scan results, keeping fingers crossed.

Sorry to have gone on but the Moral of Val's story is:- They cannot forecast the future and the situation can and does on occasion improve you must just remain positive. 
All things being equal with our latest results we are going to Ireland in May. No insurance of course :-(


----------



## teemyob

pneumatician said:


> Some five years ago my wife Valerie was operated on to remove Cancer of the Pirotid gland. This was in her skull approx ear level. They had to remove her teeth and lower mandible in order to remove all of the nerves from the left side of the face. They thought they had succeeded and the operation was followed by large daily doses of radiotherapy and twelve months later a cosmetic operation to realign her face. So all went well for four years then last year whilst in France Val became very ill and we returned home quickly (900 miles in two days). She was very poorly and a drug pump was installed prior to successive tests etc. The Cancer had Metastasized and was now in her Brain, Lungs and Bones. They thought at that time the end was nigh and we were dealing with Palative care (St Giles) nurses. Daily district nurses etc. Then after treatment they thought she had about six months. Now the latest following more radiotherapy twelve months plus is the prognosis. We are currently awaiting the latest MRI and CT scan results, keeping fingers crossed.
> 
> Sorry to have gone on but the Moral of Val's story is:- They cannot forecast the future and the situation can and does on occasion improve you must just remain positive.
> All things being equal with our latest results we are going to Ireland in May. No insurance of course :-(


Val must be a tough Cookie!

Best Wishes, Trev.


----------



## aldra

My best wishes and prayers for Val, and you

It's tough but as she is proving do- able

You must both be remarkable people

And the truth is there are some remarkable people out there finding new ways to 
to treat and cure all forms of cancer

Keep in there:smile2:

sandra


----------



## pneumatician

*cancer*

Val's mom was diagnosed with "Creeping Paralysis" at 22yrs later changed to "MS" had four kids and died at 94 yrs. 
Reckon it's in the blood.

Thanks for your concern and comments. Best of luck to all with similar prognosis's


----------



## aldra

The surgeon says that the tumour on the scan is close to vital blood and nerve supply so although he can remove it, and the small one, he cannot remove a margin around it to ensure its clear of melonoma cancer cells

He is waiting for Thursday's scan result to check for spread of cancer cells, to decide whether or not to operate. Usually they operate to hopefully affect a cure by total removal but there are always risks 

If the scan shows spread then we will be under the care of the oncologist to see if he can slow down the rate of growth

Not so good news

Sandra


----------



## barryd

Sorry its not the news you were hoping for Sandra. Here's hoping for some positive results on Thursday. If its not spread and they remove them without the margin is there still the chance that this will be a successful outcome?


----------



## oldtart

So sorrySandra that its not the news you would have wanted.

Here's hoping that Thursday will give more positive news.

Val


----------



## javea

I hope that Thursday gives you some good news Sandra, you both deserve some.

Mike


----------



## JanHank

Take heart Sandra, 
I´ve had breast cancer twice 2004 and 2007 (1 each side) caught in time and cured, I am one of the lucky ones.
Lets hope its not as serious as your led to believe. 
Janet


----------



## aldra

barryd said:


> Sorry its not the news you were hoping for Sandra. Here's hoping for some positive results on Thursday. If its not spread and they remove them without the margin is there still the chance that this will be a successful outcome?


Barry

He has already had 3 removed with good margins and still more

Melonoma travels through blood and lymph so really dates back to the depth of the original skin tumour

Once past a certain depth the chances are traveling cells and tumours

It's always been a ? Of time

The only cure is surgery, if it is done in time and a good dose of luck
There are treatments that can slow thegrowth and prolong life though

I'm talking to you lot cos I'm devestated and Albert doesn't really talk about it
It's how he is

But today he is saying he needs to start sorting things out, find a gardener, start to sort out the loft, reduce the plants in tubs and make plans so I can manage if he is not here

And I just say you do because we are not getting younger and you can't do 
those things forever
I think at the moment he's devestated too

But tomorrow is another day
Another day a new beginning

Sandra


----------



## coppo

Best wishes and are thoughts with you both at this difficult time Sandra.


Hopefully more positive news to come.


Paul.


----------



## MEES

Chin up Sandra 
You must be strong so he canbe strong with you.
It's another hurdle but together you will jump it 

It's sensible at our ages to start cutting the workload down anyway so don't read too much in to that we are all having the what if conversation at our age it's just how life is.

We are all rooting for you both.

Margaret


----------



## aldra

I'm not sure I can jump it Margaret

But vivs here tomorrow

She'll help me jump it
I'm so lucky with you lot

Sandra :smile2:


----------



## cocoa

I rarely post but have been following your thread.you are both courageous and always so positive. Thinking of you both, wish I could help in some way x


----------



## barryd

Say hello to Viv (Hermanhymer) from me. Hope she can cheer you both up a bit.

Don't give up. There is still hope and your friends on here will always listen to your worries.


----------



## aldra

cocoa said:


> I rarely post but have been following your thread.you are both courageous and always so positive. Thinking of you both, wish I could help in some way x


You just did:smile2:

Aldra:smile2:


----------



## Penquin

REALLY sad to hear that piece of news, all we can do is pray for BOTH of you, we KNOW that your inner strength is amazing and that you will support him every step of the way for the future.

The idea of reducing things is VERY sensible - you both need to concentrate on him and you, not the peripheral things.....

We BOTH send you our love and best wishes,

Dave and Lesley.


----------



## aldra

I'm not sure penguin

Are we allowed to say that

He is my rock, my love

I don't think I can survive without him

I tease everyone

But so secure in the love of this man

That it's fine to reach out and love everyone
Anyway 
You don't need to hear that

I am so open

Sorry
Sandra


----------



## bigtree

Not so great news Sandra,keep your chin up,surgery and treatment is improving every day.Tell Albert we are thinking of him,hope things look better after Thursday.

Lillias & Trevor.


----------



## aldra

I will

And you two above all know
Sandra


----------



## MEES

You jumped it before and you will again
Deep breaths and crack a bottle.


----------



## jiwawa

So sorry to hear the news Aldra. 


Our thoughts and prayers are with you both.


----------



## JackieP

Sandra, keep being open, keep talking, get it out. Better here than with family and close friends maybe.

One thing for sure, this thread has shown me to be grateful for so much.

x


----------



## margrae

Hi Sandra

I really feel your pain here.....the dread of the worse happening which is in itself a torture. Some things we cannot change but that doesn't mean we don't make the most of what we have. Live every moment like it is your last.....none of us know when our time is done and doctors hardly ever get things right anyway. 
Its okay not to be strong to cry and hug each other say we love them. I understand it can be difficult to show to each other what we really feel and fear and tend to suppress inside those feelings, I know I do and then wonder why I feel I could explode.

Hoping you both get better news tomorrow



I like this...Its not the amount of breaths we take but the moments that take our breaths away.


Margaret


----------



## jncrowe

Hi 'Aldra' 
Ive not been on here for a while just catching up with your news .....All the Very Best for tomorrow to you both 
If being good decent people is the secret to getting good news then youve cracked it 
I hope you dont mind Ive passed Alberts name to my old friend who has influence upstairs and she is posting prayers for you both tonight 
Love Cath 
ps Poppy still plodding on .. X


----------



## barryd

Whats the latest Sandra? Not heard from you for a bit. How did it go on Thursday?


----------



## Nethernut

Only just caught up with your latest news Sandra, so sorry to hear it BUT keep that hope going, I am sure Viv has helped you an enormous amount. Have a big hug from me and maybe a foot up over that massive fence xxxx


----------



## aldra

barryd said:


> Whats the latest Sandra? Not heard from you for a bit. How did it go on Thursday?


We won't get the results of the scan till Wednesday

Another anxious wait

Sandra


----------



## daffodil

aldra said:


> We won't get the results of the scan till Wednesday
> 
> Another anxious wait
> 
> Sandra


 Linda and I really feel for you the waiting is a cruel thing

but on a positive note we hope it goes well for you two

at least you have the comfort of a supportive family and great friends on here

our prayers go with you

Regards Daffydowndilly


----------



## Penquin

We will all be waiting for your first post after you get the results and hope that it can have a :grin2: icon attached.

The one thing that you do not have to worry about is the high level of support you both have via this forum. Rarely has someone's health been so keenly discussed, thank you for being so open - such a characteristic will help to reduce the problems that people have when facing the big C.

Dave


----------



## barryd

aldra said:


> We won't get the results of the scan till Wednesday
> 
> Another anxious wait
> 
> Sandra


On the plus side I gather you got a call from the hotline at Tugboat Towers. I bet he was bitching about me, my ears were burning.


----------



## javea

Hope everything is fine With the scan Sandra, give Albert my best wishes, will be thinking of you both .

Mike


----------



## aldra

I think we are fairly reconciled to the fact it will show Cancer cell activity

And if not this time next time

It's the nature of the beast

But in many other cancers they are getting to grips with treatment and more people will be cured than die from it

Like so many other deadly diseases that have been banished, man will get there

What a pity we engage in wars and killing
That may well be the greatest deadly disease we have yet to overcome

But I have faith in this beautiful world of ours
And for all mans faults

I believe good still tips the scales

Love to you all

Sandra


----------



## Wilmannie

You're faith does you great credit and you are a tremendous example to us all 

Sandra. So many of us sending our good wishes, so many prayers must have a 

positive effect. 

We're all waiting now, hoping that you hear some good news on Wednesday.


----------



## aldra

It's ok

Once apon a time

We did a journey to israel 
The odds too us getting there were nil

But that's another story

The odds on this are not looking so good either
But

We got to Israel 

And we will get here too

Maybe not the way we want

But once we let go

Just like the journey to Israel

We will speed on our way

God works in funny ways

Aldra


----------



## aldra

Ps

Iam no example to anyone

Except those who struggle

I have faith in God, but I don't give him an easy time

So all of you who struggle

Stay in there

Come on here and tell us you are struggling

We struggle because we love

And

Just about everyone understands that

And we are here to support

And

I have been so supported by this lovely lot on here

Sandra


----------



## rayrecrok

My friend and dive buddy at our diving club has just had his prognosis for his cancer, it is terminal and they can not do anything to stop it...

But unless you new him you may not understand his attitude of being light heart about it, taking it on the chin and being resolved about it all, it's his wife who is falling to bits but also trying to put on a brave face, she is an ex nursing sister so knows what she will face as she will look after him to the end.. He is 10 years older than me at 78 so he has had a good innings and great exiting life as he has been a diving fanatic just like me, his words not mine, we have dived together all four of us Sandra and me and my mate and wife all over the world, and he says Cancer can't take away our memories of our times together, and I can still make him laugh but if I do he might crap himself as that is where the Cancer started.. That's him to a T...

I will be calling round to see him next Thursday when we pick up the pup from Liverpool so I will try speak to him one to one with my Samaritans hat on, he was a Magistrate so he is used to being in control, I will see if he will open up to me, perhaps I am the only one who he will open up to as he knows it will stay with me whatever he says or feels...

What a ****ty disease cancer is, he has had three heart attacks and come through them, I would rather he went like that, but he says he is high on Morphine and pain free.. So!..

ray.


----------



## aldra

She may well feel like me

I'd look after him to the end As he would for me with no problem 

My fear is learning to live without him

And not letting him down 

He taught me to love

He would be really pissed off

If I failed on that one:smile2:

But it's not there yet and may not be for a while

I can still love him

Sandra


----------



## aldra

Ps
Actually Ray 

Perhaps that was not the most sensitive post to put on here

I am struggling to cope with it all hoping against hope he will be fine

At least for some time yet
He is not resigned and neither am I 

Nor the kids

One day it maybe necessary
It may begin next week with the scan results

I'm sure you never meant to hurt babes 

Sandra:crying:


----------



## rayrecrok

No Sandra didn't mean to hurt or offend you, there is not only you affected by this disease there are a lot more around, inc me.

ray.


----------



## aldra

I know Ray

But we are all at different stages

And struggling through our own little world

Reaching out to those who may be futher on the path

Trying to give hope to those that are futher behind

And will make it

After all more are cured than die from cancer

And that is a fact

And for us it may well make little difference if the prostate cancer is cured or not

The Melonoma is much more aggressive

Even so
Miracles do happen
And science progresses and one day will beat cancer

Sandra


----------



## teemyob

Just getting up-to-date with the news. I read (red) it backwards so took me some time.

Did we meet once in southport during the air show?

Trev


----------



## ChrisandJohn

Sandra, this is why, although I really feel for you and Albert and really hope all goes as well as possible, I have felt unable to post anything helpful or uplifting. Having lost a son-in-law and a daughter-in-law through cancer, the latter only last July, it is all too raw. 

I am really glad that so many others are able to support you, here, and I hope elsewhere, and now that I have decided to post I send you, Albert, and your family my best wishes and my love. XX


Chris


----------



## aldra

teemyob said:


> Just getting up-to-date with the news. I read (red) it backwards so took me some time.
> 
> Did we meet once in southport during the air show?
> 
> Trev


No Trev ,

It wasn't us

Sandra:smile2:


----------



## margrae

Hi Sandra

I guess there are a lot of people out there dealing with their own private version of hell. I am sure Ray didn't mean to upset you, on the contrary he is trying to cope too.
Men after all are from Mars.......poor souls they will never really understand us and sometimes can't do right for doing wrong.....if you get my drift.
The emotional rollercoaster is in full swing and makes for a fragile state.....hingin by a tack as we would say in Scotland.
Its good to talk......even if it touches areas we would rather not go....fears voiced can lose some of their power over us ?
Wishing the best news for you both.


----------



## aldra

I know full well that Ray would not upset me

And he didn't 

It was just a moment in time

I guess he like me has a few dark moments, I guess we all do

It's a journey we can't control, who knows what the final destination will be

And without that knowledge best let life guide us through

Sandra:smile2:


----------



## rayrecrok

aldra said:


> I know full well that Ray would not upset me
> 
> And he didn't
> 
> It was just a moment in time
> 
> I guess he like me has a few dark moments, I guess we all do
> 
> It's a journey we can't control, who knows what the final destination will be
> 
> And without that knowledge best let life guide us through
> 
> Sandra:smile2:


Sandra I hope you don't feel I am raining on your parade, We only found out yesterday that his condition is terminal so it hit hard to us as we have been friends for the last 45 years and have been close as friends and dive buddys...

I will say no more and continue to support you and Albert, you are both cracking folk..

Love ray.


----------



## aldra

Ray 

You are right to post

This is not just a personal thread

True it's really about skin cancer and is meant to raise awareness

Caught in time it's curable

Unfortunately we didn't catch it in time due to ignorance

But it's also about cancer

It's affects on people's life and some need a place to say how they feel, what is frightening them, what helps

And together we can do that
I understand some are unable to

But I am, warts and all
I'm not always positive would that I was

Those that are great
But those who don't always feel positive join the club
And those that do bring your positive feelings

We will get through whatever it is we need to get through

Me, with my God, Albert differently

Others with different ways

So Ray it's me that was out of order not you

My love and thoughts are with you

Sandra


----------



## aldra

We have just had a call from Christies

The scan showed

No Cancer cell activity beyond the tumour already identified 

The op to remove the tumour is on the 29th of this month

It's delicate but the consultant surgeon is very good

So, the game of life goes on:smile2::smile2:

Sandra:smile2:


----------



## barryd

This is indeed brilliant news Sandra! I just got a call from Tuggers who told me your good news. I thought he had won the lottery or something he was so excited. 


Lets hope all goes well for the 29th but it must be a massive relief. Get the Vino out!!


----------



## aldra

Albert phoned him Barry

He was anxious

And we would have phoned you 
But he said he woud
So there is me

An absolute toy boy , mine move over Michelle my love

And there is him

Not a toy boy but he sends shivers down my spine

I think that happens with really special friends

Well it's happening with mine:smile2:

Sandra:smile2:


----------



## tugboat

I will be raising a glass or two to you and Albert this evening, Sandra. I know you still have a way to go yet, but Albert's call earlier was the best news I've had in ages and really made my day. How fantastic to have some positive news for a change. All your friends here on the forum are going to be equally delighted, I know.

Love to you both from Tuggy and Ellie.


----------



## Penquin

Sandra, that is BRILLIANT news, yes he is facing another op but the result that he has just had is a real boost to him and to you.

We are all thinking of you, Lesley has also asked me to send you her joy at that post.

Dave and Lesley


----------



## tugboat

I've marked my calendar. April 29th has been designated 'Albert's Armpit Day'


----------



## barryd

aldra said:


> Albert phoned him Barry
> 
> He was anxious
> 
> And we would have phoned you
> But he said he woud
> So there is me
> 
> An absolute toy boy , mine move over Michelle my love
> 
> And there is him
> 
> Not a toy boy but he sends shivers down my spine
> 
> I think that happens with really special friends
> 
> Well it's happening with mine:smile2:
> 
> Sandra:smile2:


Michelle says your welcome to me!! :frown2::grin2:

As for Tuggers, you can have him an all!


----------



## aldra

Hey Dave

I never even thought that my lovely Leslie 

Would not be delighted

Between us and her we worked our magic

And then there was the hound from hell

He really conned her

And she was not opened to be conned

But I remember her letting him follow her into the kitchen
Talking to him whilst he gazed into her eyes

He never ceases to be the hound from hell

Sandra


----------



## coppo

More positive news Sandra which is very welcome.


Paul.


----------



## JacSprat

Sandra - sending your Albert super-healing vibes from me and the Murph. 

I've only just got caught up with your trials - how wonderful to hear you've had good news!! You are a brave bunny. I wanna be just like you when I grow up! Murph wants to be like your Hound from Hell (she doesn't have far to go).

All the best

:smileycouncil:


Jacsprat


----------



## aldra

No jack sprat

You definately don't want to be like me

You want to be like you:grin2:

The hound, well he may be already lost

However the hound from hell

Is a big soft baby

Until he's not:surprise:0

Sandra:smile2:


----------



## suedew

Good news Sandra, will be thinking of you both on the 29th. Have raised a glass tonight but mow i know the news will raise another in thanks 

Sue


----------



## barryd

Does this mean you might get away in the van now Sandra once Albert recovers from the Op on the 29th?


----------



## Nethernut

At last Sandra, some good news. We will all be thinking of him on the 29th xx
Jan


----------



## JackieP

This has cheered my heart. Small steps Sandra but all in the right direction.


----------



## MEES

Great news Sandra!


----------



## aldra

barryd said:


> Does this mean you might get away in the van now Sandra once Albert recovers from the Op on the 29th?


We are hoping so BARRY

Also hoping Albert will manage to fit in his bike test before we go so will prob stay in Britain this time. Lots of places we have yet to explore . Just depends when he is able to resume driving
We have till the middle of July before the kids get the van

But fingers crossed for Sept:smile2:

Sandra


----------



## jiwawa

Excellent news Sandra, delighted to hear it. 

Isn't 29th Will n Kate's anniversary? It's certainly my daughter's! But I think we'll all be thinking of you and Albert that day. 

Our thoughts are with you.


----------



## Christine600

I'm so glad to hear the good news, Sandra! :smile2::smile2:


----------



## barryd

aldra said:


> We are hoping so BARRY
> 
> Also hoping Albert will manage to fit in his bike test before we go so will prob stay in Britain this time. Lots of places we have yet to explore . Just depends when he is able to resume driving
> We have till the middle of July before the kids get the van
> 
> But fingers crossed for Sept:smile2:
> 
> Sandra


Well all being well when Albert gets his op and recovery out of the way he might be able to concentrate on getting the test passed which will add a whole new dimension to your motorhoming. I have a good feeling about this.

It possible we may stay in the UK this year I dunno so our paths might cross hopefully.


----------



## aldra

Had a pm today from someone re an article in the times on a new treatment for advanced Melonoma 

But I lost it trying to open it

Please send Pm again 

Thanks

Sandra


----------



## tugboat

aldra said:


> We are hoping so BARRY
> 
> Also hoping Albert will manage to fit in his bike test before we go so will prob stay in Britain this time. Lots of places we have yet to explore . Just depends when he is able to resume driving
> We have till the middle of July before the kids get the van
> 
> But fingers crossed for Sept:smile2:
> 
> Sandra


That is brilliant, Sandra. When I know you are going away, I just need to activate the tracker that I surreptitiously placed under your MH last year, and I'll mysteriously happen to turn up at your location. Mwahahahahaha!


----------



## aldra

aldra said:


> Had a pm today from someone re an article in the times on a new treatment for advanced Melonoma
> 
> But I lost it trying to open it
> 
> Please send Pm again
> 
> Thanks
> 
> Sandra


Ignore the above

I found it:grin2:
Don't know how

Sandra


----------



## aldra

tugboat said:


> That is brilliant, Sandra. When I know you are going away, I just need to activate the tracker that I surreptitiously placed under your MH last year, and I'll mysteriously happen to turn up at your location. Mwahahahahaha!


You don't need a tracker

We will be in touch

Deven sounds good

Now can we drop off the hound from hell
Come on
It's what friendship is about
Ellie will sort him

It's only for a week or two at most

Aldra:grin2:


----------



## barryd

aldra said:


> You don't need a tracker
> 
> We will be in touch
> 
> Deven sounds good
> 
> Now can we drop off the hound from hell
> Come on
> It's what friendship is about
> Ellie will sort him
> 
> It's only for a week or two at most
> 
> Aldra:grin2:


Yeah go to Tugboat Towers for your holidays!! Just make sure he stocks up the booze cabinet as it was looking pretty sparce last time I was there.


----------



## aldra

BARRY 

I only drink wine

White, very, very dry

But lots of it:grin2::grin2:

Sandra


----------



## tugboat

Bloomin' Northern freeloaders, the lot of you.


----------



## barryd

tugboat said:


> Bloomin' Northern freeloaders, the lot of you.


What you on about? I bought you a huge bottle of Gin. It wasnt my fault the flight got delayed and I had to drink it. Its the thought that counts. :grin2:


----------



## tugboat

barryd said:


> What you on about? I bought you a huge bottle of Gin. It wasnt my fault the flight got delayed and I had to drink it. Its the thought that counts. :grin2:


How am I supposed to get shickered on a thought, you twonk?


----------



## barryd

tugboat said:


> How am I supposed to get shickered on a thought, you twonk?


Ill come back and visit you. Lets do it all again!


----------



## oldtart

Hi Sandra
Just caught up on your news. We've been with relatives near Seascale with no signal for the Internet.

Absolutely super news. We'll be thinking of Albert on the 29th and be sending out positive vibes with everyone else.

Val


----------



## HermanHymer

Yabadabadoooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!


Toldya, didn'I ???


Good luck for 29th. More prayers... Got lots to spare. Maybe I'll need to do one at the Grand Mosque as I'll be in Dubai.


We did have a good time didn't we... talked our heads off. In the old days I would've matched you glass for glass, but the (lack of) innards can't cope with more than 2 glasses -- well I did have 3 on one occasion.


Love to you too Barry. 


Sandra, give Albert a big hug from me and "bon courage". 


I'm in Norwich now spending time with my son I hadn't seen for 2 years and enjoying every minute. But I tell you what its cold in the van. Thank goodness for my electric blanket!


----------



## aldra

Just got back from the hospital

Albert was in surgery for 4 1/2 hrs I was beginning to panic

The consultant surgeon was very pleased with himself as it was a very delicate operation as the tumours position made it virtually inoperable between the main nerve and main artery He got 99.9% of it. He doubts it will come back there and will recommend some radiotherapy, which he will discuss with the team

So Albert still has movement in the arm and the nerve remains intact, the small amount lies next to the main artery. Albert told him you enjoyed that , and he replied that it certainly tested his skills and if he had a crystal ball he would have passed it to the oncologist as inoperable

Albert was bright, not so keen on the oxygen, well only really the trailing wires, same as the drip
He really is unbelievable, smiling saying he feels fine, sending us home as it's an hours drive and Petra has to be up early for work tomorrow

And I need to be up early as Alex is staying and needs to be home for 7.30 to take the kids to school as Petra is training the police on child protection issues tomorrow. So life continues around us

Hopefully he will sleep now although the beds are not great especially in the upright position, he keeps slipping down and only has one arm to get him back up
But I'm glad he is not coming home, he is monitored there and should anything be needed it will be there

Would love to phone him to say goodnight but we agreed that he could phone me but I won't phone him in case he is sleeping

So I ask God to keep him safe and I remember "be still and know that I am God"

Sandra

Ps the hound from hell is so sad he is still waiting for him but Alex will take him out in the morning and I will allow him on the bed tonight to keep me company
He never ever comes on the bed if Alberts here
So it's very rare that he can


----------



## tugboat

Hi Sandra,

So glad to hear everything has gone well today. Albert has been in my thoughts for much of the day, and I tried to ring you earlier but you were obviously not home yet. Please give Albert my best when you see him, he's amazing isn't he. I think he may be a keeper!:wink2:


----------



## coppo

Best wishes and thinking of you both.


Paul n Caroline.


----------



## 113016

Sandra, V Good news, regards to Albert, our thoughts are with you both!


----------



## oldtart

Great news Sandra. Was thinking of him all day, yesterday.

Val


----------



## barryd

Thanks for the update Sandra. Good old Albert, what a fighter. I don't think I have ever met a bloke with Such an ability to just take everything life throws at him and knock it for six everytime.

I sincerely hope for both of you that this is a big corner turned and that hopefully it's the end of it and life gets back to normal for you both. 

My thoughts, prayers and good wishes are with you both and please give Albert a big hug from me and I think all of us here at mhf. 

Just keep thinking that sooner than you know you, Albert and the hound from hell will be on the road again and finding some sunshine.

Xxx


----------



## javea

Very pleased to read your news Sandra, Albert is one tough cookie, makes me feel a bit of a wimp.

Best wishes for his rapid recovery.

Mike


----------



## aldra

Mike, 

I doubt you would be a wimp

Put to the test it's amazing what people can do

We fight on

The nature of the beast of melonoma is to try again somewhere else, and it most likely will
It's what it does to survive
So maybe a battle of wills

I loved and admired him before

But now I and his kids and g'kids see deeper levels and realise just how this man has kept us all safe, gathered us in, and is so deeply loved by all, including son and daughters in law

But any changes in moles, have checked, protect in the sun

It's a growing problem

And unless it's caught very early there is no cure

As yet

But watch this space there will be one day

And remember many of those with Melonoma are so very very young

Sandra


----------



## Penquin

I would echo Sandra's comment that how you approach such a thing is a measure of how successfully you can deal with it, I was VERY fortunate in that it was caught early - not as early as it should have been, but still early....

The outcome has been superb and the follow through by the NHS cannot be beaten so if you are involved with the NHS take comfort from that....

but the initial notification is soul destroying and I had the worst 48 hours EVER (as did my wife and family), even my GPO daughter was unable to be of comfort and only a phone call from the consultant i/c telling me that I had been given the wrong information in the wrong way by the wrong people at the wrong time and without the support that should have been offered......

after that disaster their efforts were totally different in every respect and it was all followed through every few weeks by personal checks by the same consultant......

The nHS is excellent, it may make mistakes but when it does it tries really hard to sort them and admits them......

Dave


----------



## aldra

The Nhs is brilliant 

Christies is brilliant

But it seems melonoma is pretty brilliant too

It plugs off the bodies immune system by locking off the bodies cells receptors 

So they cannot recognise a foreign body

And welcome it instead

It's one of the wonders of nature

One we fight to overcome

But nevertheless in this great world of ours

It's what it is

And one day we will unlock the key
The truth is Cancer wishes us no harm

It just survives the best way it can

So it's not really a fight 

It's just another thing we need to overcome

And we will

Sandra


----------



## aldra

Ps

I would not think the way you approach such a thing is a measure of success Dave

Sometimes it's gone beyond

And what you are left with 

Is how will you deal with this?.

Only those who understand that this is not going to be cured
It's going to be taken head on

And faced

Maybe successfully maybe not

But it will be tackled

One way or another

But in truth only those of us who face that

Know what it takes

Sandra


----------



## aldra

Well he is still not home

The ward have prepared everything but as yet have not had the say so of the consultant

Feel a bit sad because I havent visited him today

But it's over an hour to get there and more than that to get back in the traffic and I'm not happy on motorways and the centre of manchester is out
So one of the kids take me

And he said don't come, I may be home and if not I'm fine

Still Simone one of our daughtersis there with him and she's hanging on in case she can bring him home

That would be nice

But if not then he will be home in the morning I hope

Sandra


----------



## 113016

keep your chin up Sandra, Albert will be home soon and you will be able to give him lots of cuddles and :kiss: :kiss:


----------



## aldra

Grath:grin2:

How can I not??

With all you special lovely people there supporting me every step of the way

You will never know how much all your love and support has helped

But maybe you need to

Others will need that support

Some sadly unlike me can't ask for it

But I say

Please let others help, you do not have to go it alone

So many are waiting on the side line to help and support

Just let them in

And if all else fails:smile2:

I'm here to support and help
Or just listen

Sandra


----------



## 113016

Sandra, it seems to be something that comes to most families sooner or later.
We also are going through the mill and have been for the last year. I won't go into details, but Mrs G seem to be at the hospital nearly every week, and it has stopped our European trips for now, hopefully later!
We just think positive


----------



## aldra

It's what we need to do Garth
Excuse the earlier spelling mistake>

Hope things improve

Love to both of you

Sandra:smile2:


----------



## 113016

At the moment, Mrs G is getting appointments, tests and scans at very short notice. Only this Tuesday, she got an appointment for tomorrow. And we were not expecting this appointment.
A similar thing happened a couple of weeks ago, another unexpected appointment within one week.
Great service!


----------



## aldra

He is home:smile2::smile2:

Sandra


----------



## 113016

Cuddles and :kiss:es


----------



## JacSprat

aldra said:


> He is home:smile2::smile2:
> 
> Sandra


Wayhey!!! Relief - enjoy your reunion!!!
Jac


----------



## 113016

Sandra,did you give Albert plenty of :kiss:es, I expect you did 
We are off to the hospital later today for two more scans.
They never used to do these sort of things at weekends, but nowadays, weekends and weekdays until about 10 at night is normal!
GP's soon 7 days


----------



## aldra

Garth, apart for two short periods to eat he's been asleep in bed since 9pm last night

I saw more of him in hospital !

He must have been completely exhausted, but hospitals are not a place to rest

Still as they say, sleep is the best healer

Hope things are OK for Mrs G , it is great that hospitals are functioning around the clock now

Sandra


----------



## 113016

aldra said:


> Garth, apart for two short periods to eat he's been asleep in bed since 9pm last night
> 
> I saw more of him in hospital !
> 
> He must have been completely exhausted, but hospitals are not a place to rest
> 
> Still as they say, sleep is the best healer
> 
> Hope things are OK for Mrs G , it is great that hospitals are functioning around the clock now
> 
> Sandra


Yes, Sandra, sleep is a good healer 
Mrs G's two scans today, were all good  but? there still is a problem!
Still got a kidney problem and decisions to be made!


----------



## aldra

Well tonight has not been good 

He fells down and anxious 

I feel down and anxious 

We are are hopeless

However

He is cooking the meal

He is chopping the onions
Me

I'm devestated

Is it all right to be devestated?

He is telling me it's OK

He is only doing what he can do

And I've failed

Aldra


----------



## aldra

I'm so very very tired

And he is PROB more tired

But what should I do

I am really trying 
But unfortunately I'm getting older, the joints are not good

The stress takes its toll

He's cooking

Actually he is looking good

But then he always does

That's the problem

Leader of the pack

Aldra


----------



## 113016

Keep your chin up gal


----------



## Matchlock

Aldra, let him do what he can do, to make a meal will make him feel needed and stronger with a will to carry on.
Don't feel devastated or anxious and that you have failed, you need to give all your support for both of you as he is doing for you.

Enjoy your dinner.

Barry


----------



## suedew

Sandra you are a wonderful strong couple. Feel joyous that he is able to help with the meal. Love to you both and have a big hug with shadow cos i cant be there to hug you. Was going to say to give you one, but you know what this lot are like ;-)
sue


----------



## javea

Sandra,

Albert had been through a 4 hour operation less than a week ago and yet he is cooking a meal - what a fantastic chap! He is bound to have periods when he doesn't feel on top of the world, and obviously this will affect you as well. You will never, ever be a failure. The way you have dealt with all the medical problems does you very great credit, a lot of people would not have been able to cope.

Have a couple of glasses with your meal which I am sure you will both enjoy and hopefully you will both be feeling a bit more chipper soon.

With very best wishes to you both.

Mike


----------



## barryd

Glad Albert is back.

You have both been on a long emotional and physical roller coaster so your bound to be up and down. Get yourselves some nice food and and a drink (assuming Albert can have one) chill out and try and relax. Im opening the bar shortly so will have one with you and raise a glass (well bottle) to you both. In fact sod it! Ill raise several.


----------



## Christine600

It's only natural you get a touch of the blues after all you have been trough. And then the op and the good news even if it wasn't perfect news. You both finally allow yourselves to relax a bit. Then all the feelings you have bottled up when in the middle of the fight pop up. 

Do what Mike says - a couple of glasses and a delicious meal. Enjoy - it's so much better than him in hospital and you eating alone. The blues will go away again.


----------



## aldra

They will especially with you lot out there helping

It would be so good to say everything's fine

A great surgeon and we are luckier than most

But tonight he was near to tears, and I was in tears

But hey that's ok

So all of you who feel the same its ok
We are allowed to feel down and get back up

To renew the fight
We are only human

Thank God

And being human is so special

Sandra


----------



## Brock

In Liverpool, just across the water from me, they sing, "You'll never walk alone." As a Mancunian, or near enough anyway [as near as Bury!], I've always wondered why. This thread says it all. Sandra and Albert are not alone and have hope in their hearts. And they have walked through some truly awful weather with their heads high.


----------



## MEES

Sandra the drugs he will have been on will affect him post op.
Him feeling "down" will affect you.
And this horrible weather won't help.
Tomorrow is another day things will improve.
Goodnight
Margaret


----------



## aldra

One drain removed at christies today

One to go

He's gone to bed to rest now for a couple of hours

Our daughter inlaw drove him there and back, meanwhile

I made a meat and potatoe pie for her to save her having to cook for the family tonight, and to say thanks

No thanks needed though

We have a great family

Sandra


----------



## HermanHymer

Hi Sandra and loving sympathisers (nice sense of the word intended!)


Back in SA from Dubai and back onto the forum for the first time in over a week.


Been thinking of you and Albert and so pleased to hear op went well. It's an emotional time and you're bound to feel up and down. Just roll with it and enjoy every day you spend with those you love! Old age is not for sissies! A four and half hour op is bound to take its toll and don't forget about the impact of the hormones. Hope each day is better than the one before.


Graham... my thoughts and prayers are with "Mrs Grath" as they are with Sandra. We don't all have the courage or desire to "spill your guts" - except Sandra finds it easy. Nevertheless we all share your worrying times and support you both in the same way. Hope all is fixable.


And on behalf of those who've been there, done that, got the T-shirt and worn it out... "and whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the world is unfolding as it should."


----------



## aldra

Actually VIv
I don't find it easy

I find it real

It's how life is, it's how I feel

I suppose it's me

I know I expose myself and therefore I am very vulnerable 

But raised in children's homes, very vulnerable, I one day broke free

So yes, I am open to hurt

But I am so open to love

And also open to giving that love

And stranger than fiction

I never meet anyone who wishes to hurt me

We are all just people undergoing a special journey

I with my GOD, others differently

I would choose a different path

But I only have a bit of the picture

And come on

We just have this one life

And I have a fabulous family

And

I have him

So yes I can reach out and say what I feel

And maybe others feel the same

Weak, frightened, strong in turn

I'm just saying

It's alright

We all feel the same

And some can say it and some can't 

But we feel it at different times

Now

That is what forms the link

And the link with others

Is what keeps us going
Because we are interlinked

Sandra


----------



## jiwawa

Delighted to hear the good news Sandra. 

And don't feel guilty about being down. As someone said, it's natural after holding yourselves together during the tough times. 

The positives and hopefulness will work their way back into your psyche - it's how you're made. 

God bless.


----------



## HermanHymer

2 days on Sandra, hope Albert is improving day by day and you are breathing out a little more.


Love and a big hug to a very brave lady and a special friend to me and many.


----------



## aldra

He has an infection in the wound

I phoned the GP 

It's friday

Faxed the prescription

Delivered by the chemist

So he's started them

He was very anxious that things would go wrong

He is really afraid of illness

As he says
He is not afraid of dying

But he is so afraid of illness

And I have to keep saying

Slow down

Go to bed and rest

Give yourself time to heal

It's not easy because I am shattered
Trying to do the jobs of two of us

And he knows that

So maybe I'm not hiding it enough

But I am really tired
And I worry that he wil do too much

To protect me

It's not easy

Aldra


----------



## tugboat

Dear Sandra, 

I'm sorry to hear about Albert's infection and I hope the antibiotics will knock it down quickly.

I'm really concerned to hear how exhausted you are feeling. You say you are doing the jobs of 2 people, but you need to rest too. 

No-one can take away the worry that you have for Albert, but surely you can take a rest from some of the physical stuff. The house doesn't need to be immaculate, the laundry can wait a day or two, the meals can be simple, anything you can compromise on to take some of the strain off yourself. 

Maybe you see keeping busy as a way of coping, but we can't keep up the pace that we did when we were younger and I wish you would ease up the pressure on yourself. I'm sure I'm only one of many who worries about you here on MHF. You've been a great friend to many of us and we don't want anything to happen to you.

Please take care of yourself.


----------



## suedew

Sandra, do hope the antibiotics kick in quickly.
I second all that Tugboat says, but knowing you you will be putting a brave face on for your wonderful family too. you do so much for them, let them help you out. You are very independant, so may need to ask, easier said than done I know. 
They would be upset if they knew just how tired and drained you feel. Take it easy, put your feet up and take a few deep breaths.

Sue x


----------



## aldra

It's more a mental tiredness

I get stressed and worried by events that are out of my control

The surgeon has asked Albert to come to christies so he can check everything, the drain isn't working properly

Julie has taken him so hopefully they won't be to long as he is tired today, maybe the antibiotics or the infection

Still it's something the way christies cares for its patients
He must be tired as he has gone in his pyjamas, it's more like a light velour leisure suit so not so obvious
Hopefully they will sort it out
Sandra


----------



## aldra

He saw the consultant surgeon who did his op

Does that man never go home ??

Almost kept him in but on the whole was pleased with the wound

He told Albert he would have suggested a double antibiotic dose for 24 Hrs

Albert said I did that, our old Docter always said double the dose inthe first 24 hrs to zap the infection

He needs to go back for an ultrasound on Monday to look at pockets where fluid / infection may be gathering
Remember he has no lymph nodes to shift or fight it in that arm and may need a drain inserting again
And possibally stay in for intravenous antibiotic if the infection is not 
under control

Still who could be having better care???

I'd pay privately

But our NHS, for all its faults

Remains brilliant
And those who work in it

Priceless 

Aldra


----------



## MEES

Sorry to hear Albert is suffering but it sounds like you are getting the very best of care.
It might save as well for him to stay in for a day or two especially if he is a bit fearful.
Try to take the opportunity to rest and rela x a little if you can.
Hope all goes well
Margaretx


----------



## aldra

It will be fine

Remember I let my guard down on here

But I'm one tough cooky 

And I'll get there

With you lot

And him

Aldra


----------



## aldra

Never underestimate a place where someone can just download

And to you lot out there struggling 

Deep breath

Let it go trust others

They are there to support

And so willing to be there

Let them help

And just be there

Aldra


----------



## suedew

thinking of you both, sending healing vibes.

Sue


----------



## aldra

Albert got up this morning

Feeling good, no drain to drag on him all night

Decided he was well enough to drive to Chrities tomorrow , an hour + each way

I wasn't so sure, but I will come with you

Our daughter in law called in to say she is available to take him

No need says Albert I'm fine

Took shadow for a walk, slowly round the cemetery 
Buy 4 he was exhausted and slept

Meanwhile I phoned Gill
And arranged for her to take him

When he woke up he said

I'm not feeling as sure about driving tomorrow
No problem says I Gill is taking you

I'm cooking moussaka and a dressed salad for her family for tea

So at least she doesn't have to cook a meal when she gets back

We really do have a special family

Aldra


----------



## barryd

I am going to have to run the Gauntlet and appear on a Friday night when you are all assembled. What I have seen so far from the family I have met they are charming and fun and clearly chips off the old blocks. 

I wish I had a family like that but it must be a costly and difficult time at Christmas! 

Love to Albert and all and I am sure the entire forum will cheer when you finally get away this year which I am sure you will!


----------



## tugboat

I'm tempted to telephone, Sandra, but I fear you and Albert need to get your strength up a bit first!:greenjumpers:


----------



## aldra

Tuggy Albert will phone you later

All was well at christies today, he doesn't need a drain put back, but will take another course of antibiotics to ensure the infection clears

Will go next Monday unless he has a problem between time , maybe by then he will be up to driving

Sandra


----------



## aldra

barryd said:


> I am going to have to run the Gauntlet and appear on a Friday night when you are all assembled. What I have seen so far from the family I have met they are charming and fun and clearly chips off the old blocks.
> 
> I wish I had a family like that but it must be a costly and difficult time at Christmas!
> 
> Love to Albert and all and I am sure the entire forum will cheer when you finally get away this year which I am sure you will!


You will be most welcome

But Friday's are not for the faint hearted >>
This lot were raised to speak their mind:crying::crying:
And dam it they do:wink2:

Even the grandkids chip in

However my D in Ls strive to keep the peace
My sons and S In Laws cycle or run ridiculous miles from work to get here

And need to shower

I drown myself in wine

And preside serenely over it all00

Content in knowing there is plenty of good food which it's taken all day to cook

It must be working

They all turn up to eat and argue every Friday

Sandra


----------



## aldra

Well

His wound seems to be healing

Still on antibiotics 

A couple of open bits

Good given the depth of the surgery
So on to the next stage 

The surgeon brilliant tho he is

And I'm in love with him

Unfortunately so are all
the nurses 

And he's married

Couldn't get it all

So maybe radiotherapy

Which may aggravate the Lymphademia

Still alls well as yet

No loss of major nerves 
His arm works
Aldra


----------



## aldra

So next stage

The surgeon couldnt get all of the deep melonoma tumour
But boy did he try, he got most but it was too near to the main vein 

The homones have reduced his muscle, his strength
He's dealing with the after effects of the prostate cancer treatment
Increased weight, hot sweats, and changes to his emotional strength 

Although it has no chance of killing him
The Melonoma is well ahead

They will try to take the last bit the surgeon missed 

With radiotherapy
But know that may only stop reoccurance at that site if it works
And I'm not so sure the figures are that promising

Can melonoma eat through main veins??
I don't know and I don't want to ask when he is with me
So on Monday we see the radio therapist oncologist

On wed we see the oncologist in a brought forward app
He may have a trial that Albert can join

Any trip in the van just seems to Recede

Fortunately financially it's not important

So the kids may just have a van, completely paid for and maintained by us

I'm betting they would rather have their dad

And the GKids their Gdad
He really is so special to them all

And me

Well I struggle on
What else can I do?

Aldra


----------



## rayrecrok

Chin up love, the battle goes on..... We are going to my mate who I mentioned on an earlier thread on here It's his funeral, he lost his battle, you are winning yours we are all behind you both.

ray.


----------



## tugboat

Yes, the battle continues, Sandra, and you'll both find the strength from somewhere to do what is necessary.

Can I ask what is probably a stupid question?

Given the commonality of bypass surgery, why can't they take a vein from Albert's leg, fit it in a loop around the cancerous area, and then chop out the cancer with part of the original vein? Would that not work for some reason? I'm sure they've looked at all the options, but I'm just curious to know why that can't be done. Or is it the proximity of a nerve that is the problem?

I, too am waiting to get more appointments out of the way before I can get away. I thought Monday was the last one for a while, but now need more B-tests and see the doc again.

I have a cunning plan though!
I come up to you in my van. Drive you two in your van to somewhere peaceful, hop on my scoot back to your place, pick up my van and join you for a couple of days of wine and song. How does that sound?


----------



## coppo

Best wishes and thoughts are with you both.


Paul.


----------



## aldra

Ray
I think i if a ifmay be losing it
But I'm trying

And it's so important you are all behind us

I wanted to be so strong, invincible 

But I've handed it over to God
Because I'm cleary not invincible
But I have got Albert 
He just goes on
And if anyone

Can do it 
He can
And if he can't

It's not for want of trying

Cycling again

Fighting the homone therapy
Which is making him feel bad
Fighting the fat he has put on around his waist
And

Hopefully
Together we wil fight the impotence 

That is the legacy
But if not
Hey

50 years

6 kids

10 GKids

They are all here fighting for him, loving him to bits

But
Every one of his son and daughter in laws
Love him to bits also
Why wouldn't they

This is a realy special person

Aldra


----------



## aldra

Tuggy

Anything which means I can wrap my arms around you

Sounds soooo good

Mind you Albert really likes you

So we cannot have an affair

Disappointed

Sandra


----------



## MEES

Sandra sorry to hear things are going on

Sounds to me like you are both doing the very best you can with a bad lot.

Every credit to you both 

Love changes everything ( just love that song )

You are both in our prayers.

Margaret.


----------



## aldra

Tuggy

Albert is able to drive the van

It's just that radiotherapy usually takes every day for a period of time

We will know more on Monday hopefully

And perhaps a little more on wed after we see the oncologist 

I think the problem is that because the tumour was close to a main vein they can't get the clearance around the tumour that they need
But the fact is that it is PROB spreading through the bloodstream anyway

But the longer it takes the more research is coming up with a way to combat it
So fingers crossed
We will try to get some short trips in once we know how frequently he needs to attend for radiation
Meanwhile he's fasting, which research shows protects the normal cells whilst making the Cancer cells more vunerable and has just returned from an 8 mile cycle ride

If anyone can beat it ,he is in with a chance

Sandra


----------



## tugboat

Back from an 8 mile cycle ride? Already? Sheesh, that confirms my fears, I'm a right unhealthy so-and- so!


----------



## aldra

You my Tuggy

Are beautiful

Inside and out

Sandra


----------



## aldra

rayrecrok said:


> Chin up love, the battle goes on..... We are going to my mate who I mentioned on an earlier thread on here It's his funeral, he lost his battle, you are winning yours we are all behind you both.
> 
> ray.


My thoughts are with his family

And with you his friends

Life is not always fair

We may or not win the battle

But it's worth fighting

Sandra


----------



## barryd

Keep on fighting Sandra and Albert. Hope you get some better news on Monday. You have some good true friends on here and we will always be here for you both.


----------



## aldra

Saw the consultant radiologist today

The bad news is it's 5 days a week for 4 weeks

Next week he has a plastic mould made for his head and shoulders 

That ensures that the position is fixed

And they know exactly where they are targeting 

Of course this doesn't mean the Melonoma hasn't already moved elsewhere

It does mean we can't really get away in the van
Well possibally weekends

At least he can continue to cycle, he hopes

He was advised not to with the prostate radiation

The under arm op is well healed

He uses Bio oil each day to treat the scars
And keep them supple

That poor arm has had 8 ops

Some Lymphademia 

But considering the number of ops nothing to write home about
As the consultant surgeon said

A firm handshake, I like that
Complete use of the arm, you can let the Physio dept know you don't need to attend
Unfortunately I have patients

Who have lost the full movement of their arm

For no physical reason
Emotionally they protect it
They are afraid
And they just can't get to grips with the melonoma diagnoses

Me
My heart goes out to them
Sometimes I can't get to grips with the Melonoma diagnoses either

But I have Albert
And you lot
And life goes on

Sandra


----------



## javea

I am trying to give you and Albert a positive here Sandra. I went to radiotherapy at City Hospital,in Nottingham 5 days a week for 7 and a half weeks, it went much more quickly than I thought it would. Got to make some new friends with other patients there as well.

Wishing you all the best with the new treatment.

Mike


----------



## aldra

Mike he did 5 days a week for 4weeks throughout Jan for prostate cancer

Followed that with major surgery for a deep melonoma

Unfortunately some was too close to a major vein to safely remove it

So more radiotherapy

Unfortunately if successful

It's only successful for that tumour

It has a good chance of occurring somewhere else

Meanwhile holidaying in the van keeps slipping away

Hope your treatment was successful

Aldra


----------



## HermanHymer

Cheer up friend, sorry you're locked in for another batch of weeks. Why not make a plan to go away for Friday to Sunday - somewhere a short drive away - perhaps up to your favourite spot - the Lakes, for instance? Getting out will do you both good.

Healing thoughts on the way over.

Love Viv


----------



## tugboat

I agree with Viv, Sandra, if Albert is fit to drive just have a few weekends away, it'll do you good to have a change of scenery and get away from the house. They keep sending me more and more appointments (they told me I was a loony but I've demanded 17th and 18th opinions) but I'm determined to get away soon if only for a week here and there. If not, summer will soon be gone. Not long now till the days start getting shorter (aren't I a bundle of fun?)


----------



## aldra

Yes we thought about weekends

Although we are not weekend away fans as we tend to avoid weekends and school holidays

Leave them for those who have no other option

Prefer off season

The van is already booked a fortnight in July and three weeks in August 

Our sons will use it to take their family on holiday 
One to France , the other to Spain

So we will see, the lakes tend to be crowded at weekends
Sandra


----------



## tugboat

aldra said:


> Yes we thought about weekends
> 
> Although we are not weekend away fans as we tend to avoid weekends and school holidays
> 
> Leave them for those who have no other option
> 
> Prefer off season
> 
> The van is already booked a fortnight in July and three weeks in August
> 
> Our sons will use it to take their family on holiday
> One to France , the other to Spain
> 
> So we will see, the lakes tend to be crowded at weekends
> Sandra


With the greatest of respect, Sandra, I think (just for once) you might prioritise yours and Albert's needs over the rest of the family. It is your MH, after all. I know how important your family are to you, and I hope you will accept my comment in the spirit in which it is intended.


----------



## aldra

They have already arranged ferries etc Tuggy and are taking the kids

To be fair our priorities would be to go away May to mid July
Then sept /October, it's what we always have done

It's just Cancer reoccurances, surgery and treatment keep getting in the way

I'm not a fan of busy campsites or crowded places

We may have a chance to go to Scotland though the beginning of July, at least there are remote areas there

The radiation involves 21/2 to three hrs driving every weekday for a month
Only christies do it at their South manchester hospital as it is specialised
The M Way is a 50 mile round trip but it's quicker than trying to go through Manchester

So I'm not sure he will want to drive again at weekend
May well be needing to rest
Sandra


----------



## HermanHymer

If you want somewhere not as busy, say as Windemere, why not try the CC site at Coniston. Although it's big, it's spacious, wooded, quiet - a bit of a backwater (ha ha!) a few miles out of Coniston Village. I know you have your own wheels but there is a bus - Ulverston to Coniston which stops right outside the gate if this is not an option. This connects with Stagecoach everywhere else (via Hawkshead Village) . The ride itself is entertainment down those narrow lanes. Just do it! You'll be pleased you did when you feel the sun on your back and the fresh air in your lungs.


----------



## barryd

Sorry to hear of yet further intense treatment for Albert and the fact that its stopping you getting away.

Perhaps you may get a longer trip at the back end if things work out.

As for the lakes being busy at weekends you probably know them as well as I do but there are always the quieter places in the Northern Lakes like Crummock Water, Buttermere and Bassenthwaite. Never over busy and some good wild spots if you want me to recommend a few. Some of the CL sites in the lakes are worth a visit as well. Or what about a nice pub spot somewhere (your in Brit Stops I think ). Treat yourselves to a nice meal somewhere. Or just book a hotel for the weekend and pamper yourselves a bit. I know its not exactly the same as trundling off to Tuscany for 8 weeks though. Im the same. I cannot be bothered to take the van away for a short trip.


----------



## lalala

Sandra,
I've been away from the site and have just seen that Albert is still battling, with you beside him all the way. I wish you both all the very best. You are probably right about not going away weekends if you have both been up and down the motorway every weekday. It would be very tiring. Barry's idea of a good hotel, perhaps near to you, sounds good for a bit of relaxing and letting some-one else take care of you both,
thinking of you,
Lala


----------



## Christine600

What about sites close to the hospital? That could save you from some driving?

When my mum had heart problems I stayed in the hospital car park free of charge. But then I might be an aquired taste.


----------



## aldra

Wel we went yesterday to meet with the oncologist 

Arrived at 3.45 

The appointment at 400pm

And we waited and waited

At 6 o'clock we went in
So sorry

But there is nothing we can say you didn't need to come

You have seen the consultant who is arranging the radiotherapy?
Yes

Well we only made the appointment because the surgeon( he is great) asked
Ok I said ,I'd rather wait two hours for no bad news

Yes he said some today had bad news and needed time so we are late
It's fine with us
One day we may be those who need that time

How's the wife I asked, you are also late

Not happy he replied

Life goes on

Nothing changes
Sandra


----------



## havingfun

*skin cancer*

hi sandra,

been following your battle, and admire your coping, just to say, you will almost pass my front door on your way to christie,s, and if you want a cup of tea, feet up, or anything else, please just knock,we are away quite a lot,but if we are not in david[david david] our son will most likly be here, just sometime its nice to know there,s somewhere to take a quick break, or long one...we are about 2 mile from withington on the way back to the motorway.

just to say, all thoughts to both of you,

mags


----------



## aldra

He will go alone
On the scooter 

If the weather is ok

Easy parking

And I couldn't go in with him anyway

We will try to go away for weekends in the van

He is juice fasting
It seems it's good during radiotherapy to protect healthy cells and make Cancer cells vulnerable
So I join him

We continue the fight

Sandra


----------



## aldra

Well his first appointment today

45 minutes with the " death head" mask on

Whilst they sorted out the multiple angles needed

Hopefully never again
He felt anxious and claustipohbic
Another 19 to go but never as long

They said 
The scan is good and clear

So why do I feel

great

Whilst you tackle this it's already moved on

To pastures new

Where are the next ones??

I must admit I am not going to be a great advocate for positive thinking

I just put one foot in front of another

And keep moving

And for all of you who just keep plodding on
Hey,let's just keep going

Cancer or other things 

It's the circle of life
And I for one

Advocate the circle of life
The kids, grandkids , friends, family

It all completes a circle 

And we will survive it

I hope

Sandra


----------



## alexblack13

Great Attitude Sandra. That's the way to think girl. 

I too did not much enjoy the 1st few visits to Radio therapy. I had gold seeds inserted and some tatoo targets done.. I always wanted some ink done and might do so properly yet. LOL... 

Then.... All of a sudden (after 7.5 weeks!!) it was over. My doc says i am doing great but I still hate the dibilitating hormone jags... With a vengence. But needs must.

So . Please do keep us posted. We are all ears and rooting for you both.


Hoping it turn out well for you both.

Alex & Carol Black


----------



## Penquin

Sandra, as you know there are sooooo many people on here thinking of you and Albert, your immense courage is recognised by all of us, the road ahead is not easy, but Albert depends on you to help him through the tortuous, uncomfortable path that faces him.

Your family appreciate you as you are - warts and all as is commonly said (no suggestions of accuracy there though), and to them you continue to be the incredible person that you always have been - always willing to support and care for anyone in need and that will not change even if you have to seek support from them at times....

Keep your chin up and feel free to express your worries and thoughts on here - there are so many on here who count you as a "virtual" friend simply because they have not had the chance to convert that virtuality into reality like we have.

Best wishes from all three of us....

Lesley, Dave and of course Bob......







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----------



## barryd

Sounds pretty awful but promising as well. 

Thanks for the update on Albert and I hope there is good news ahead. As Penquin said there are a lot of us rooting for you and here to support you.

Always/

X


----------



## aldra

Hey there

He is just beautiful penguin, and I want him, well I really want to meet him

As you all know, I'll just keep going stong then weak 
It's how I am

Alex

As a women who has undergone the menapause 
Hot flushes etc 

I didn't expect to confront a partner undergoing it

I'm torn with sympathy 

And with a purring contentment

Knowing he had no idea what it was like

And was not that sympathetic

Well there you go

What goes around comes around

Still Alex

You keep in there

I'm keeping a close watch on his head

His bald patchdisappeared 

Loads of hair -----&#55357;&#56841; on his head

Elsewhere his hair has all but disappeared
You win some lose some
That's life

Sandra


----------



## aldra

Hey Alex

If you go for a tattoo
Do share
How about............

I digress

Sandra


----------



## aldra

Unfortunately the radiotherapy treatment is not as well organised as the prostate treatment

He doesn't know till the day before the appointment time, invariabally has to wait for 45 mins to an hour+after his appointment time to recieve treatment

If it's afternoon then he hits the rush hour traffic and is often not back untill 6.30

As he says a one off you don't mind waiting but every day it becomes very irritating and virtually wipes out most of the day every weekday. Still three weeks to go and already we are both fed up with it
Maybe it will improve but I doubt it

We were thinking of getting away at weekends but we are both too tired by Friday as it's hard to plan when you have no idea of the time till the day before and even that doesn't work out when a 2pm appointment doesn't happen till gone three
So he leaves at 12.30, hangs about till gone three, has his treatment , leaves going on for 4 and hits the rush hour before he makes it home, 5 hrs for a 20 min session. And that's happening more or less every day

I can't understand why he can't be given a daily slot, we realise that there may be some changes, but we knew for the whole 4weeks when he had the prostate treatment so at least we could plan

What happens if you are working??

It seems to me for all the notices about "living" with cancer they are ignoring the the patients right to a life

If you are attending every day for a month or so then they need a better system, so are they having unforeseen emergencies every day at Alberts appointment time??

I doubt it

I think we should make a formal complaint about the system, why bother with an appointment time if it's ignored every time you get there?

Perhaps he should turn up when he feels like it and see what happens!!!!

Aldra


----------



## MEES

My friend is going to Rosemere at Preston for her RT and she reports the timekeeping to be excellent.

If you have three more weeks - complain

This would make some give up especially if they had doubts already so it's just not good enough.

An odd emergency ok but this just sounds like poor planning.

Good luck next week


----------



## javea

Surprised to hear about that Sandra. When I had my radiotherapy treatment at Nottingham City Hospital I was given a sheet with the times of each of the 37 appointments. A couple were altered because of machine breakdowns but I was always kept advised and found the whole thing very efficient. If they can do it I don't see why your treatment centre caN't do the same, not rocket science, is it?

Mike


----------



## aldra

Same as Albert Mike when he had radiotherapy for prostate cancer

We expected this to be the same, but they will not release the time beyond the following day

He sees the consultant tomorrow and will raise the issue with him

That and the fact the appointments involves lot of time hanging around waiting

Seems to me it takes all control of daily life away mon to Friday

Aldra


----------



## MEES

Not to mention the additional stress involved
And stress is not good :-(


----------



## pneumatician

When Val was about to have Radiotherapy five years ago we were advised the treatment took approx twenty minutes including preparation, zapping and getting dressed. Her treatment was every day. At the conclusion we worked out the average time per session this was two hours fifty.
Fortunately car park was half price and the seating very comfortable.

Back again this afternoon to Maxilo Facial clinic just routine. Sadly the cancer has metastasized. She is doing quite well, prognosis was six months 12 months ago and there is, fingers crossed, very little sign of the conditions getting worse.


----------



## alexblack13

Hi Aldra,

I had 5 days a week for 7.5 weeks and all at the same appointment time. Mostly quite well on the pace time wise. Quite a few times I walked straight in (providing I had drank enough water) and was out again in 10 mins and off home. All in all I can't complain. It would appear their aim was very good too... ;-) 

The route you have planned sounds correct. A chat with the powers might have good results. Give it a gentle try. 

All the very Best.

Al' ...


----------



## aldra

pneumatician said:


> When Val was about to have Radiotherapy five years ago we were advised the treatment took approx twenty minutes including preparation, zapping and getting dressed. Her treatment was every day. At the conclusion we worked out the average time per session this was two hours fifty.
> Fortunately car park was half price and the seating very comfortable.
> 
> Back again this afternoon to Maxilo Facial clinic just routine. Sadly the cancer has metastasized. She is doing quite well, prognosis was six months 12 months ago and there is, fingers crossed, very little sign of the conditions getting worse.


Not changed much then, they need to give treatment time plus hanging around time waiting for treatment

Everything crossed here to for Val too

This is just a treatment on an individual metastises, unfortunately the nature of melonoma is to pop up anywhere and everywhere over time

But regardless of what they predict the are often wrong in their prognosis as Val is showing, there is no such thing as an average person where Cancer is concerned
Keep in there we are all behind you

Sandra


----------



## aldra

Well yesterday Albert saw the consultant

Whilst he was there he expressed his dissapointment at the way the service operated and his feeling that the system, in contrast to the expressed phllosophy of Christies showed little respect to the patients right to plan their life around treatment

The consultant said he wasn't aware of the system and was unsure he could affect a change within the next few weeks. Albert said he understood but for future patients he, Albert, would find out who could affect a change in a system which seemed to be run for the sole benifit of the staff and the detriment of the patient. Cancer itself can make planning life hard enough with out 4 weeks + of being unable to make arrangements.

However, when Albert arrived today he was given his times for the rest of the week, the radiologist checked he had been given his times, he waited only 10 mins to get in and was back 
home by mid day

So we will see how next week pans out

Obviously there will need to be changes for various reasons but the majority of people will accept that, we've waited over two hours for appointments without complaint knowing that perhaps someone devestated by their news needed time, an emergancy occurred or some such thing. Those things happen and on three monthly appointment are acceptable, but not every day for several weeks

Sandra


----------



## MEES

We'll done Albert sounds like a rocket has been delivered. Hope the rest of the appointments go to time.
Not much fun on this heat


----------



## aldra

Well

A little bit of how I feel

Maybe you who are supporting Cancer feel the same

Or maybe you are superhuman
I really wish I was

I research, try to find out all I can

Juice, cook meals that fight the melonanoma, or are supposed to

And sometimes it feels like Albert just leaves it all to me

I put out his medication

If I didn't he wouldn't bother

I don't know for sure they will help

But Tumeric is good and he doesn't like it in food so I get it. In tablet form

I'm PROB wasting my time

It will kill him anyway eventually 

I just try to make it a bit later

I'm tired

And feel responsible to see him through

But he seems to feel Ill sort it out, remind him to take his tablets, juice his veg, clean the house

He rides his bike, 8/10 miles a day, potters in the garden, walks the dog sometimes

But I'm too are in my seventies
And sometimes I feel it might be just as well me who is fighting Cancer

I'm shattered

So I'm a long way away from a supporting goddess or God 

Maybe you are too

Aldra


----------



## MEES

Sounds. Like he is trying to behave normally .
Men retreat to routine and the man cave.
Could your kids not give more support
You are working too hard 
Sadly it's a marathon not a sprint you need to try yo relax a little.
If time is short surely you need to make the most of it


----------



## aldra

Time maybe short

Or maybe not

I haven't a clue

He may be fine for years or not

Who knows

It all depends on when and where the next tumours appear

Can they be removed surgically?? Or not
Prognoses isn't good

But then again 
X% beat the prognoses

So maybe he is in that x%

Aldra


----------



## ChrisandJohn

Sandra, have you thought of telling him how you feel, and perhaps asking him to take some responsibility for some specific tasks?

If his current behaviour is normal for him it maybe it's too difficult for him to change at the moment, but if he's withdrawing perhaps you need to ask him to talk to you about how he is coping. In other words perhaps you both need an honest discussion to share what you're both feeling, and what you both need.

His, and your regime at the moment seems very physically arduous, quite apart from the emotional aspects. Can the kids do more? Could they come and do the cooking for you on Fridays?


Chris


----------



## aldra

I don't think talking is the problem

We are very different

Albert gets by as he is

He would never dream to research 

I research, and try to incorporate into his diet what seems to help

But of course I don't really know if it does

A diet rich in veg and fruit which he enjoys

Juicing veg to get the maximum amount of veg and fruit for the minimum effort

Who knows it may be working

Given the depth of his original tumour time was not on his side

Exercise is vital, hence his cycling

Prostate cancer, homone therapy and radiotherapy alongside didn't help energy wise

We both miss the lifestyle we had

Feel constricted and unable to get away in the van
There is no reason to involve the kids
It's just sometimes I feel it's all too much

Albert won't change, he is willing to try anything

Believes the fruit and veg diet is benificial

Enjoys it
But wouldn't be prepared to actually involve himself futher than eating /drinking the prepared meals

Aldra


----------



## ChrisandJohn

Aldra, you are obviously doing all you can to increase Albert's chances, and it sounds like he is trusting you with that task.

But

Is there anything specific you would like him to do differently, that it would be realistic to expec, given the circumstances?

Is there anything you can ask of other family members, or friends, that would relieve some of the burden on you?

Is there anything you can do differently, or give up doing, to ease up the pressure on yourself, while you're focussing on keeping Albert as healthy as possible?

What do you need for yourself? Is it possible to plan some interesting or relaxing things to do together, even for an hour or two, to compensate a bit for not getting away?


Chris


----------



## aldra

I think the incident with the scooter being stolen and vandalised just adds another layer to the feeling of vulnerability and lack of control over things

We have a CTV camera, just didn't get round to putting up

We did manage to get away last weekend, and the bike is stolen and trashed,completely pointless as the thief couldn't get it going anyway 

Now I don't feel safe to go anywhere at the moment

But no doubt we will get over it
Life can be a challenge
Sandra


----------



## ChrisandJohn

I hadn't read the scooter thread when I made my comments above. It shocked me when I did read it. You have enough to contend with without random acts of destruction adding to your problems. So sorry.


Chris


----------



## suedew

Sandra, you are so busy looking after Albert that you seem to be forgetting to look after yourself. Take a deep breath and do only what is necessary, I know how much you love your family and feeding them on a Friday. Knowing how you cater when there may only be one or 2 people visiting I am sure you could scale things down a bit.
Know you dont want to involve your children, but they would, i think, be very upset if they thought they could alleviate some of your stress, if they only knew about it or what would help you most.
Only just found out about the scooter, there are some nasty folks about, hope you manage to get out and about soon, even if it is only to Burr's.
Our thoughts are with you

sue


----------



## aldra

We will be fine

I suppose we adapt to getting through day by day

Then when something happens it floors you temp/

Not a lot of reserve left todeal with futher unexpected things

Any way heavy duty hasps and two heavy duty locks now on the gate

It won't be easy to open them now

CTV Camera going up too
Now a heavy duty combination lock needed for the internal front gate, to allow family access

Usually I lock it to keep people away from the hound

Not anice feelingto see an 81/2 stone hound hurtling towards you

Without an internal barrier

Unfortunately he was away with us in the van and the lock was not heavy duty, it will be now


Sandra


----------



## MEES

Sounds like you are feeling more secure and feeling a bit better 
Well done!


----------



## Phil42

Sandra, I rarely get on here now. Sue has suddenly all but lost her mobility and this is keeping me busy.

But I think you should involve the kids. My step-daughter who lives locally has really stepped-up and is supporting me and Sue, even though she is seven months pregnant. It's brought us very close (we had our problems in the past) and now I rely on her for emotional as well as practical support. We all need those when we are in extreme situations. At the very least you could surely open up to them a bit. 

That's my two penn'orth. Feel free to ignore it.

Phil xx

PS I've never forgotten how, at one of our worst times, you said we would have many more trips in the van - and we did. Thank you so much for that.


----------



## aldra

Phil,

Good to hear from you

Sorry to hear of sues' mobility problems

It isn't that that the family don't support, they too are worried about their dads Cancer 

My biggest problem is that I'm tired because I'm anxious which I know is stupid

Albert is still fit and well to all appearances, and the future will take care of itself if I let it

It's just sometimes the uncertainty and feeling that things are out of control gets to me

The theft and vandalisation of the bike is just an added blow

It's ups and downs

You are amazing the way you have coped with a situation that's far worse than mine

Another week of daily radiotherapy to go then hopefully a breather before the next occurance

It takes so much time from our lives

Love to both of you

Sandra


----------



## aldra

Well we are waiting for the scan

Hopefully it's OK

And we will be able to get awayfor a break

The nurse practitioner for stage four melonoma

Is going to order it for thhe end of August 

Please God it will be Okay

And we can go away
At least this time
It hasn't worked out for a while

Aldra


----------



## Penquin

Sandra, we will be thinking of you particularly for the next five weeks, as you said hopefully you, Albert and Shadow can get away for a break somewhere, you were talking about Scotland at one point, is that still your plan?

Sadly we have a house full of visitors from next weekend on so couldn't offer you space if you ventured down here, which makes me feel very sad and guilty at not being able to offer you hospitality, your presence here is like a breath of fresh air - although Bob may not think the same thing as he is having trouble relating to bigger, male dogs, even gentle giants like Shadow.......

We hope that we will hear lots more good news from you, but do remember your friends on here are always available to exchange messages with....

Best wishes to Albert,

Dave and Lesley


----------



## aldra

Dave 
The van willnot return till the first days of sept 

And we would not have clearance before then anyway

I know we would always be welcome

But if we don't ever get there

We remember once we did
Love
Sandra and Albert


----------



## aldra

Well

The scan is arranged for Saturday !!!

We phoned the nurse practictioner to say we have an appointment on the 5th to see the oncologist
Is itworthcoming if he has no information ??

The last appointment we waited almost 3 hrs to be told sorry there is nothing to say, you are booked in for radiotherapy 

We were generous then saying it was ok, but there is generous and generous

So fingers crossed all of you

Will we drive that MH away in Sept

Meanwhile our Tuggy is coming to cheer us up

Ellie will cheer shadow up

Aldra


----------



## Wilmannie

Fingers crossed for you both!

Will be thinking about you on Saturday, hope it all goes like clockwork and you get good results. :smile2:


----------



## aldra

Penquin said:


> Sandra, we will be thinking of you particularly for the next five weeks, as you said hopefully you, Albert and Shadow can get away for a break somewhere, you were talking about Scotland at one point, is that still your plan?
> 
> Sadly we have a house full of visitors from next weekend on so couldn't offer you space if you ventured down here, which makes me feel very sad and guilty at not being able to offer you hospitality, your presence here is like a breath of fresh air - although Bob may not think the same thing as he is having trouble relating to bigger, male dogs, even gentle giants like Shadow.......
> 
> We hope that we will hear lots more good news from you, but do remember your friends on here are always available to exchange messages with....
> 
> Best wishes to Albert,
> 
> Dave and Lesley


Dave don't worry

We would never just turn up

And we understand your dog would not like shadow

But it would have been nice to see the pool that Albert worked so hard to ensure

And even to see the the trees he pruned , the veg he weeded

But worry not

You won't need to fit us in

Aldra and sandra


----------



## aldra

Misprint

Sandra and Albert


----------



## aldra

Well Albert has found another lump in his arm 

It maybe nothing

So if it is

Do we feel grateful it's still inthe arm??

Pissed off its anywhere?

Holding our breath that the body scan on 
Saturday is clear

Although they don't scan the arm

Is our holiday slipping away yet again??

Or are we just just really tired with it all 

Who knows

Down once again

Aldra


----------



## barryd

Sorry to hear this Sandra. I presume you will mention it on Saturday. I dont know how it works but presumably they will want to check straight away.

I hope its nothing and you can indeed get away. You will have to as I think we need rescuing.


----------



## Geriatricbackpacker

Fingers crossed for you both.

PS Barry is beyond help so don't get fooled by his post. He has even managed to break Michelle.


----------



## tugboat

Oh jeepers, Sandra, whatever next? That man really deserves a break, as do you. Hopefully it will be nothing, but you must let the doc know ASAP so it can be checked out. Hopefully you can do that before the weekend. Fingers crossed for you both.


----------



## Penquin

Oh dear, another report you could do without...... there is little else that I can say except that we are thinking of you all and praying that you will get the chance for some down-time.....

Dave and Lesley


----------



## 113016

Sorry to hear this news Sandra, I can't say more.
We are just drifting along sideways with the kidney treatment.
We went to the hospital today and after today's consultation, we have to return in another 2 weeks, as they are playing with the meds.
It seems that these things come to quite a lot of us as we get older.


----------



## HermanHymer

Hi Sandra

I just logged on for the first time this morning after a long absence and was devastated to see your post. My thoughts and prayers are with you both. Let's hope it's just a 'red herring'. I'll be looking out for your reportback in due course.

"Sometimes on the freeway of life, you get stuck behind a donkey cart!"... Yeah I can guess your response.

Big hugs to you both,


----------



## aldra

Pretty sure that is is a melonoma, we've seen plenty over the past couple of years

We've contacted christies and our consultant surgeon is back from his holidays on Monday so we will hear from him soon after 

Depends how deep it is to determine the severity of the surgery, hopefully not too deep as a good margin around it is needed . We will need to see how fast the surgery can be done

And then of course there is the scan tomorrow, really hoping that doesn't show up any internal ones, so another week of anxious waiting

Sandra


----------



## Christine600

I'm sorry to hear about the lump. Even if it's nothing it still is unsettling.



aldra said:


> Do we feel grateful it's still inthe arm??
> 
> Pissed off its anywhere?


I would definately be pissed of at the bl***y disease! And grateful for any small mercies too.


----------



## Cazzie

Hope all goes well tomorrow and that the new lump is not too sinister.
We count our blessings every day.
Health is such an important thing.
It must be so difficult for you to stay positive when you keep getting these setbacks.

Cazzie


----------



## oldtart

Do hope all goes well tomorrow, Sandra and Albert.

Will be thinking about you.

Val


----------



## suedew

Hope all goes well for you today, hugs, 

sue n john


----------



## aldra

Well we won't know for a at least a week

But they have put a note on the scan to say we have an appointment on the 5th

We cannot fault Christies 

Available every day

Direct contact with people that we know 

If anyone can help us through 

Christies can

We are lucky to live so close

Though sometimes 2/3 hours return 
Seems so long

And sometimes as Clive James Says

It's not the cancer 

It's the rounds of appointments ,scans, operations, recovery

The uncertainty about the future

We all share that uncertainty without knowing it

But once you know, really know

It's hard, well for me it is

You start to look at a count time down

Could be way out

But the clock is ticking

But then again it so for all of us one way or another

So go for life

And

" Be still and know that I am God"

And I would love to be an advocate for God

But I spend so much time arguing with him, angry with him, loving him

I think He needs to think it out again

And choose another

Sandra


----------



## Brock

Aldra, when my appendix operation went wrong and I went from being fairly healthy to facing death, it was much harder for my missus than for me. She had a feeling of not knowing from one minute to the next what was going to happen, a lack of control over events, and an overwhelming desire to nurse me better. Later she laughed that she couldn't find my 'Death in Service' payment details!

She told me afterwards that the emotional pain she suffered was well in excess of the physical pain of childbirth. After her first baby was delivered she said, "Sod that for a game of soldiers" which helped me feel her pain when I had felt none. If Albert's not in pain, I can understand you feeling the worst of it.

Great people are forged through adversity. Great people give time and time again, they are loved by others, share their experience with others, and show them the way. Great people sound like you. I doubt anyone is going to remove your prop of life until you have finished giving. That's why somebody put Christie's there to help you both.


----------



## aldra

Brock

You are just lovely

But if anyone is looking for a great person 

Look away now

Even with a great belief of my God, and believe me I get seriously get pissed off with him

He remains my rock

My strength, the thorn in my side

Without him you just get me

And no one just needs to get me

Aldra


----------



## Penquin

The one unshakeable thing is the presence of God every day in every place, some of the things that happens may seem odd, or wrong, but He will help us through if we seek his support.

We are thinking of you,

Dave and Lesley


----------



## aldra

We have an appointment Monday with the consultant surgeon, back from holiday today
To check the melonoma

But it's August and they are really short staffed due to holidays

So he may not be able to operate till sept

we will hopefully get the results on wed for the scan

Please God it's clear

And we only have to worry about the one melonoma 

One at a time suits me

It's as much as I can cope with

Sandra


----------



## aldra

We have had a call from the melonoma nurse

THE SCAN IS CLEAR

No internal tumours detected

So just the one on his arm and we meet with the surgeon on Monday

Feeling happier now

Sandra


----------



## Cazzie

Great news Sandra.
What a relief that must be.
Good luck for Monday and let's hope you've caught it quickly and it can be dealt with speedily.

Cazzie


----------



## oldtart

Great news Sandra.

Will be thinking about you on Monday.

Val


----------



## Jamsieboy

Great news Sandra and Albert.
Hope all goes well on Monday too.
Maybe just maybe a wee holiday will soon be possible.


----------



## blondel

Wonderful news Sandra.


----------



## aldra

It's probabally time to tell you lot again

You are all such a fantastic support through the good and the bad times

Thank you all so much for being there for us

Sandra and Albert


----------



## 113016

aldra said:


> We have had a call from the melonoma nurse
> 
> THE SCAN IS CLEAR
> 
> No internal tumours detected
> 
> So just the one on his arm and we meet with the surgeon on Monday
> 
> Feeling happier now
> 
> Sandra


Looking Good Sandra fingers toes and bits crossed for Monday!


----------



## lalala

Great news Sandra, what a relief. Perhaps this will be the start of better news,
lala


----------



## javea

Delighted to hear the good news Sandra and Albert.

Mike


----------



## coppo

good news is always welcome.


Paul.


----------



## Christine600

Wonderful! Just wonderful!


----------



## Geriatricbackpacker

Really pleased to hear your good news (had the grandchildren for a couple of days so have been out of the loop).


----------



## aldra

Grath said:


> Looking Good Sandra fingers toes and bits crossed for Monday!


Garth

Which bits have you got crossed??:lover:

Sandra

Ps keep them crossed


----------



## 113016

aldra said:


> Garth
> 
> Which bits have you got crossed??:lover:
> 
> Sandra
> 
> Ps keep them crossed


Sandra I wouldn't dare tell on a public forum >


----------



## barryd

Wahoo! Just caught up and it is indeed good news. Maybe that September trip is looking more likely and we may have to track you down! 

We could be racing through some French Vineyards on our scoots before you know it!


----------



## suedew

barryd said:


> Wahoo! Just caught up and it is indeed good news. Maybe that September trip is looking more likely and we may have to track you down!
> 
> We could be racing through some French Vineyards on our scoots before you know it!


It's not the racing through that is the problem, it is getting home after the tasting lol do hope you get all up and running Sandra.


----------



## aldra

Well sue

Hopefully we will get up
Running??

His knees are knackered

My hip joints have seen better days

More a stagger along

Add a bottle or two of wine

We are done for

But one day we will be tee total!!!!

But the b****y hips and knees won't care anyway

About time we saw you and John again

Sandra


----------



## Penquin

aldra said:


> THE SCAN IS CLEAR
> 
> No internal tumours detected
> 
> Sandra


Sandra (& Albert of course), that is BRILLIANT news and demonstrates quite clearly that prayers ARE answered.....

We are really pleased to read that result and can only apologise for not having read it days ago.....

PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE take some time for both of you set up a trip, however short it my be so that you can get back into enjoying your time together without such worries on the horizon....

You KNOW it's right to do that and your family and friends will support you totally.....

Thanks for sharing, we will look forward to a positive outcome after next Monday, they may be short-staffed but Albert is a priority annd deserves to be......

Dave and Lesley


----------



## aldra

Dave

His poor arm is scarred to bits

His great heart is not

This is one great man

A thin top arm

Well there isn't much left

Most has been cut away

A swollen lower arm as it struggles to disperse the lymph

But he is up the ladders clipping Ivy's and conifers

Out on the bike

What's to say??

Sandra


----------



## Phil42

Just caught up Sandra - excellent news. Good luck for Monday.

Phil


----------



## Penquin

aldra said:


> What's to say??
> 
> Sandra


Absolutely *NOTHING*, just simply give him one of your special *HUGS* from all of us.

Words are not needed at such a time. :love8:

Dave and Lesley


----------



## aldra

Bless you Dave

This is a guy

That only a few of you have ever met

But believe me

50 yrs

He is a bit special

Sandra


----------



## JLO

Hi Sandra

Not been on the forum since end of June and have just caught up, I am so pleased to hear your good news.

Jacqui xx


----------



## aldra

Appointment with the surgeon today

What a lovely guy he is

He can't get over how firm Albert's handshake is, how he has retained all function in that arm dispite numerous surgery and radiotherapy

Said he is a miracle

I told him he's up the ladders, two stories high clipping the Ivy yesterday

Much he said is mind over matter

Anyway I digress, surgery set for Sept 2nd, if all goes well he is happy for us to go away 2 weeks later, although it was creeping up to three before we left

as long as things go according to plan 

Just concerned that the wound doesn't reopen in France or something goes wrong

sandra


----------



## Wilmannie

Seems your surgeon is wIse and has Albert all sussed out.

Mind over matter is something impossible to measure - but it's very real. 
I think it is what has kept my sister-in-law going for the last 10 years.
I honestly think it might be called courage.

Bless you both, your courage is awesome! Let nothing stand in your way.


ps Scotland can be lovely in September.


----------



## Phil42

I have to agree Sandra. The courage you have both shown throughout this has been truly awesome.

Phil


----------



## aldra

We really haven't

We just plod on

Albert is amazing

He refuses to be subdued, I should post pictures of his scars
They are awesome

Almost all of the top of his arm is crisscrossed and thin, they have cut away his muscle

His lower arm is swollen, it struggles to get the fluid to move, he s has very few lymph nodes left

But he cycles, cuts ivy, and 8 ft conifer hedges

He wills it to keep going

And it does

His surgeon is amazed

Sandra


----------



## aldra

Pre op tomorrow

Op a week Wednesday 

His surgeon will not compromise his nerve in order to get clearance

The truth is it's likely to reoccur

Somewhere someplace

But as yet

Although it's a pain

The metastasis is always in the arm

It could and may be eventually in the lungs , liver etc

But the longer it takes the more chance of a cure being found

And apart from constant surgery, radiotherapy he's still fit and active

He has more trouble with his knees

Although today he was perched on a ladder two stories high cutting back Ivy

Awesome our 18 yr old grandson says 

He's pressure hosing the lawn, moving pots, bagging Ivy for the tip

And earning money

We pay him by the hour, someone needs to keep his car on the road!!

But he is just enjoying working and chatting with his grandad

And he gets real pleasure out of seeing the finished job

He is off soon to work for a big account firm

He will do well

My roll is to feed him

It's easy

Aldra


----------



## Cazzie

Best of luck for tomorrow.
Maybe after next week you will!l be able to start planning a trip.
Is the van back yet?
That ivy sounds a nightmare. We have loads of it around our garden and its been going mad lately.

Cazzie


----------



## aldra

It covers the house Cazzie

The sparrows love it, I must admit I love it too

It's a once a year job to cut it back

Hopefully if all goes well we shall be off mid Sept 

Just need to see how the wound goes

Sandra


----------



## tugboat

I hope the pre-op went OK, Sandra. It was great to talk to you yesterday. Cooked chicken in the pressure cooker for Ellie yesterday. You've ruined my dog, you know, feeding her so well. Mind you, I did alright too, didn't I? Thanks again for a great visit, I hope to speak to my personal trainer before he goes into hospital.


----------



## Penquin

Good to hear he is up and about and his usual active self, I know what you mean about ivy as it does soften the outside of the house but there have been concerns about the way it sticks itself to bricks and possibly damages the surface.

Our Devon house was covered in a grapevine that went feral and Boston creeper which has lovely autumn colours, the combination was good and neither of them sticks to the stones but simply wander around gaining support where they can....

but both were just as much hard work to clear when you need to prune......

Hope all goes well,

Dave and Lesley


----------



## Cazzie

The blackbirds love our ivy. We have several rock faces in the garden(it was a quarry at one time)so we let it ramble freely over them. The blackbirds love the berries over the winter and always nest in it.
Will be thinking of you and Albert next week.

Cazzie


----------



## aldra

Under the Ivy the house is bone dry

Nothing gets through

A perfect insulation

And yes we have Virginia creeper (Boston creeper) covering the side and back wall

It's beautiful changing to a brilliant red in autumn

And our garden is an oasis

Full of sparrows (endangered species)

Costing a fortune in seed and fat balls

We would love to leave the Ivy to flower 

For then the red admirals flock

But we need to clip it before we go away

Otherwise it gets beyond us

Still we support them nesting feedingthe young

The hedges we leave till now and only clip the outside anyway

The blackbirds are safe within

So we do our bit

To maintain the miracle of life around us

And in turn they support us

Sandra


----------



## aldra

tugboat said:


> I hope the pre-op went OK, Sandra. It was great to talk to you yesterday. Cooked chicken in the pressure cooker for Ellie yesterday. You've ruined my dog, you know, feeding her so well. Mind you, I did alright too, didn't I? Thanks again for a great visit, I hope to speak to my personal trainer before he goes into hospital.


Now way did I ruin your dog

She enjoys some freshly cooked chicken

And reminded me on a daily basis

Shadow has very little guts left

He should be an underweight hound, struggling to survive

Brown rice andchicken he borders on overweight

You my lovely need to cut out the pies

A bit of steamedchicken would benefit you

Your personal trainer is a bit drunk tonight

And about to eat morrocian chicken

Wish you were here

Sandra


----------



## tugboat

Albert drunk? Nooooooo, I can't believe that!

Moroccan chicken, eh? Lucky man. I, too, wish I was there. Spent last night wildcamping and disturbed by ****heads doing donuts till 3 o'clock. In Lincolnshire now. Don't go to Mablethorpe, people, even if it's the only place safe from nuclear fallout. In Louth atm and we're heading for the beach at Chapel St Leonards later as per advice received from a fellow Fruitcake.


----------



## aldra

He y there you and me

Ellie and shadow
And then our Albert

I it's how it is

He is gorgeous

Has been for 50 + years

Sandra


----------



## aldra

Well tomorrow he goes for his op

The eighth on that arm

But hey it's still in his arm

The last scan didn't pick upany tumours elsewhere as yet

And that arm works well

It's swollen as the lymph nodes have been removed

So it struggles to move lymph through a depleted system

But he treats it as a fully functioning arm

His surgeon is amazed

Me

I'm worrying about the further surgery tomorow 

Take care in the sun

It's a very nasty disease 

But as yet 

It hasn't started to develope internally in lungs liver etc

So maybe we have been lucky so far

Maybe

But hey we are not going to die young

So many are

So keep me company tomorrow whilst I worry through the day

My friends on here

And Albert's friends too
He doesn't post but he has met many of you

And yes

This man is a bit special

He has put up with me for 50+ years

Although that was easy
I'm delightful

Maybe
Maybe not

Aldra


----------



## MEES

Good luck Albert for tomorrow fingers crossed for both of you x


----------



## coppo

Good luck for tomorrow both of you.


Best wishes and love.


Paul & Caroline.


----------



## javea

We will be rooting for Albert tomorrow, and you of course Sandra.

Whilst I have not met you, from what I have seen on the forum you are indeed a delightful lady.:grin2:

Best wishes,

Mike and Jeanne


----------



## ChrisandJohn

Best of luck for the op tomorrow and I hope Albert's arm continues to be 'fully functioning' afterwards.


Chris


----------



## bigtree

Hope all goes well tomorrow and Albert is out and about as soon as,hopefully catch up with you both in the next month or so.

L 'n T.


----------



## tugboat

I hope all goes well for Albert today. You are both very much in my thoughts.


----------



## barryd

Just checking in Sandra, not had much chance online of late. Hope all goes well today. I think everybody is routing for you and hoping it will not be long before you can join the rest of us lucky sods over the water. It seems everyone is scattered far and wide at the moment although Tuggers doughnut car park doesnt sound very exotic. 

Tuggers get yours and Ellies passports sorted and come and join us!!! You know your missing me (I do wish you would stop leaving me obscene messages on my phone in the middle of the night though although I expect you have my number mixed up with Tom the Cabin boy again).

You have some catching up to do though as we are already at the Cote D'Azur although it has taken over six weeks to get here. Another six and we will be in Italy so get a shift on. 

Good luck Albert and lots of Love from us both. XXX


----------



## aldra

Hopefully home today

The surgeon feels he got the whole tumour and clearance around it

Will need pathology to confirm

So hopefully we will have a few months break at least

Sandra


----------



## barryd

Thanks for the update Sandra, keep us posted and let us know your plans (once you know of course).

Fingers crossed.


----------



## suedew

hope all has gone well Sandra,x


----------



## aldra

He's home, forever Albert

His arm is very swollen

The bandage was as good as nothing, from armpit to elbow

To support the stitched wound

Constantly slipping

And the swelling is from elbow to wrist 

So he is wearing a cycling compression sleeve

From wrist to armpit
To support the muscle and the stitches 

Light compression 

Well it seems to be working 

We walked the hound, a short walk around the field , throwing his ball on a rope 
Suited him

Gave Albert some fresh air and exercise

Hopefully everything will go well over the next 21/2 weeks

And we are off

Aldra


----------



## MEES

Good ñews Sandra
Looks like we will be off on Sept 26th to Caen initially the down western route to Spain


----------



## HermanHymer

Hi Sandra and Albert

Glad to hear all went well and keeping thumbs crossed for a good lab report. You know he's a special man, but did you know you're a very special lady!!! Very brave and supportive!! Keep us posted with plans, our paths may cross on my return to UK on the 25th, but from Saint Malo. Be well soon Albert and take care of that arm!!

Big hugs and remember me to all your family.

In Vichy tonight. 

Love...


----------



## aldra

Viv

We will begone by the 25 sept

Back sometime in Nov, ferry booked 18th

We are going to miss you

Dam it

I can't fly to South Africa

Wait

Maybe I could

Should I bring Albert ??

Best not 

A girls night (s) out

Sandra





I


----------



## lalala

Good news Sandra and Albert,
just a week till you are heading for Spain, have a great time,
lala


----------



## aldra

It's actually 21/2 weeks

Waiting to ensure the surgery wounds are healing

As they should

A bit like the Deserarta

No doubt the world is unfolding as it should

Aldra


----------



## Cazzie

Glad to hear Albert's operation went well.
He sounds a very fit person otherwise so I'm sure the healing process will also go well so that you can enjoy your trip away.

Cazzie


----------



## aldra

Well we are slowly packing the van

And replacing everything back where it should be after two sons have borrowed it over the last 6 weeks

This year no one can borrow it, we will play it by ear

Sad but we no longer have the flexibility of knowing when we can travel

And the kids know that

We need to go when we can
And please God

It may mean they can still have it in the school holidays
If we manage May,June

Aldra


----------



## JanHank

aldra said:


> A bit like the *Deserarta *
> Aldra


Get well soon Albert and you both (and Shadow) enjoy your time away.

Is this *Deserarta* you are talking about Aldra ...?

Last verse
Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be,  and whatever your labors and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul.  With all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be careful. Strive to be happy. 
© Max Ehrmann 1927 
Jan


----------



## aldra

Yes that's it Jan

I walk with my God

He walks with me

I'm not the easiest to walk with

But each time I look

He's still there

Sandra


----------



## JanHank

Educate us Aldra with a special Thread starting with *Deserarta
*I found it under *Desiderata* on Google.

Jan


----------



## aldra

I prob just spelt it wrongly Jan

Nevertheless it's a beautiful poem 

Which includes us all at some time or another

And no doubt the world is unfolding at its allotted pace
Wether or not we understand it

Sandra


----------



## jiwawa

Thanks Aldra - I've not ever read that in its entirety but it's a very comforting piece.

My thoughts and prayers are with you both and I hope everything goes to plan. We'll be rooting for you as you head for foreign climes - we're confined to barracks this year :-(


----------



## aldra

I ticked like it, to acknowledge your post

I don't like that you are confined to barracks

We seem to have been confined for so long 

Desperate to get away

Really need the break 

A bit of normality in life

Ordered a sliding window for the garage door

That way a wet or muddy hound can travel for an hour or so I there 

Booked him in for bath and brush to remove his undercoat

Do we want his feet trimmed??

Yes we do great sponges that suck up water

Problem is I don't think he will

She sounded very confident though

Asked if we required a full body trim

To turn him into a short haired dog?

Couldn't believe some people do request that

However maybe it's good for warm climates

I don't know ,he has a beautiful shiny long coat

Wouldn't it make more sense to buy a short coated dog if that what you want?

Aldra


----------



## JanHank

We have owned 9 dogs altogether— 5 GSD´s and 4 Shelties. 7 of them had several previous owners, but they were all young dogs.
With the exception of 1 non of them have or were bathed.
Groomed every 3-4 days, all live/lived in the house, slept/sleep in our bedroom, have/had the run of the house and garden.
You can stroke the dogs and your hands will not smell `doggy´. Their coats shine/shone.
The GSD´s all love the water and swim/swum when we allowed them to. Our Shelties on the other hand have never been water friendly dogs.
The previous owners of one Sheltie had bathed him so much his coat was dull and full of knots, it took a week to `unknot´ him and scissors had to be called upon. :surprise:
Too much bathing removes the oil from a dogs coat. :serious:
Jan


----------



## aldra

Any way back to cancer

Albert has had his results from prostate cancer

Too small to register 

But we know he is still under the influence of female hormones 

Next test 12 months

To be fair we ignore the prostate cancer

A blip on the horizon

The melonoma really means business

His 8th op on his arm

But hey it still works despite ops and radiotherapy

And we have booked to go away

Hoping it will be healed by then

Albert says it will

He is already using it

Stitches still in

He protects it with a cycling compression sleeve

So what can I say?

His surgeon cannot believe the range of movement he retains

I can he's up 30 ft

Clipping Ivy's

He is what he is

Aldra


----------



## JanHank

Pleased to hear the good news.
:wav:

Your a very brave couple 
Albert sounds just like Hans, he says life goes on, until it doesn´t.
Jan


----------



## aldra

It's how it is

In truth we worry

When will it appear inside on lungs, liver etc

When they can't remove it surgically 

But hey

We can't die young

My heart valve is nearing its expiry point

With luck we will time it together

And we have already sorted out the kids inheritance

Alls right with the world

And if we have longer

We will spend it

Well some of it anyway

Aldra


----------



## JanHank

aldra said:


> It's how it is
> 
> In truth we worry
> 
> When will it appear inside on lungs, liver etc
> 
> When they can't remove it surgically
> 
> But hey
> 
> We can't die young
> 
> My heart valve is nearing its expiry point
> 
> With luck we will time it together
> 
> And we have already sorted out the kids inheritance
> 
> Alls right with the world
> 
> And if we have longer
> 
> We will spend it
> 
> Well some of it anyway
> 
> Aldra


I wish I could write something helpful.
Jan


----------



## aldra

Hey Jan

Nothing is needed

I walk with my God

I talk with anyone who needs to talk about cancer

And hey it's Ok

You can be brave

Anxious , freaked out, desperate

But just come here

Believe me

Their are absolutely fantastic people on here 

Who want to support you

And

All things failing 

I'm here

And I've been there seen it done it

And relax its all going to be ok

Not always what we want

Sandra


----------



## JanHank

aldra said:


> Hey Jan
> 
> Nothing is needed
> 
> I walk with my God
> 
> I talk with anyone who needs to talk about cancer
> 
> And hey it's Ok
> 
> You can be brave
> 
> Anxious , freaked out, desperate
> 
> But just come here
> 
> Believe me
> 
> Their are absolutely fantastic people on here
> 
> Who want to support you
> 
> And
> 
> All things failing
> 
> I'm here
> 
> And I've been there seen it done it
> 
> And relax its all going to be ok
> 
> Not always what we want
> 
> Sandra


I believe you Sandra, Hans laughs :grin2:when I say " I must tell my people (this or that)" meaning the forum. 
Jan


----------



## barryd

How do Sandra and Albert!

Looks like trip on for you then!! Not long now. The only bit of advice I can give you is DO NOT come to the Cote D'Azur even with a Scooter. Its madness down here but we have now found a lovely little Farm Aire inland away from the madness.

What are your plans? Did you say you were heading to Spain? Ferry or through France?

Give Albert my best and a big hug to you both.


----------



## aldra

We are booked on the Tunnel Barry, 23 sept 

Coming through France 

Return booked 8 weeks later all being well

Might still met up, fingers crossed

Sandra and Albert

xxxx


----------



## oldtart

Sandra and Albert.
Do have a wonderful time,you so deserve it. 

Hope the weather is kind to you.

We are off to the States on the 20th until the end of November. First time? 

Val


----------



## barryd

aldra said:


> We are booked on the Tunnel Barry, 23 sept
> 
> Coming through France
> 
> Return booked 8 weeks later all being well
> 
> Might still met up, fingers crossed
> 
> Sandra and Albert
> 
> xxxx


You never know. I might just track you down!


----------



## alexblack13

We are off down to krov on the Mosel around these dates.

Anybody else heading along the river?

Great wine festival in krov on the 4th October..

Cant wait

AB


----------



## aldra

Love the Mosel Alex

Have a fab time

Albert loves to watch the barges, chill and relax

Shadow likes to swim in it

The cycling is good too

Sandra


----------



## aldra

Well he has an infection in his wound

It seems to happen every op

Not that he is bothered unduly

But we need to be careful as he has no lymph nodes in that arm to protect it

Has lymphodemia ( his arm is swollen because the lymph nodes have been removed and it can't remove the fluid build up)

But the GP has given him antibiotics

So going away is still on the cards

Meanwhile he continues as if nothing has happened 

Aldra


----------



## JanHank

aldra said:


> Love the Mosel Alex
> 
> Have a fab time
> 
> Albert loves to watch the barges, chill and relax
> 
> Shadow likes to swim in it
> 
> The cycling is good too
> 
> Sandra


First, sorry to hear Albert has an infection, hope it doesn´t prevent the holiday you have been looking forward to so much.
OOOH!!! swimming in the Mosel, I wouldn´t and I wouldn´t let Shade, too many nasty things go into big rivers.
There are probably notices that say no swimming _*Bade Verbot *_or at your own risk _*Auf eigene Gafahr *_by most big German rivers. 
He´s allowed to swim in lakes yes, rivers no.
Jan


----------



## aldra

I really don't believe this guy

We have a chest freezer
We are emptying it

The ice cream cones are at the bottom 

He is holding the grand kids

Upside down to find them

Now you know why we have been married 50 yrs plus 

This is one amazing, stupid guy

I'm saying stop you still have stitches ,The grandkids have one fantastic granddad

And I have one gorgeous husband

And a great family who love him to death

Sons ,daughters ,daughters in laws, sons In laws,

Grandkids

He is amazing

All eating here tonight

Aldra

And they are all here eating


----------



## dghr272

aldra said:


> I really don't believe this guy
> 
> We have a chest freezer
> We are emptying it
> 
> The ice cream cones are at the bottom
> 
> He is holding the grand kids
> 
> Upside down to find them
> 
> Now you know why we have been married 50 yrs plus
> 
> This is one amazing, stupid guy
> 
> I'm saying stop you still have stitches ,The grandkids have one fantastic granddad
> 
> And I have one gorgeous husband
> 
> And a great family who love him to death
> 
> Sons ,daughters ,daughters in laws, sons In laws,
> 
> Grandkids
> 
> He is amazing
> 
> All eating here tonight
> 
> Aldra
> 
> And they are all here eating


Tis true what they say Aldra...........

"You can't keep a good man down"

:grin2::grin2::grin2:

Terry


----------



## aldra

true

They have all gone

But we are now longer letting them have the van

Every time something is broke

And no one knows anything about it

The alternater

£200 pounds
It work fiine on our last trip

No longer works
But no one knows why

So a new one 

We need it don't always stay on hook up

Families are rubbish

Aldram


----------



## MEES

This is normal Sandra
Don't blame you if you don't lend it but I bet you change your mind!
You will be off soon - you and Albert need some quality time away together 
( us too)


----------



## aldra

Might if we are able to get away may /June 

Then they can have the summer months 

We need to see to the gardens

But we do get a bit pissed of
When things
get broken 
And no one knows anything about it

When we need to empty the van and then repack it all
Every thing they need is just thrown back in the van

Albert has places, they don't

We are getting old, set in our ways sadly

And the added problem of cancer 

Makes us think do we have the energy or resilience now??

And we don't 

And they one back are really happy with their trip

And we spend hours putting the van back together

Not to mention replacing inverters etc

That have just stopped working 

Anyway mees 

Post the name of the campsite in Spain you are going to

We might just end up there

Sandra


----------



## tugboat

quote[The grandkids have one fantastic granddad

And I have one gorgeous husband

And a great family who love him to death]unquote

And don't forget I have a great personal trainer!!!:grin2:

Hi, Sandra (Babe!)
Just got home after several days without internet so glad to catch up with your news. Sorry to hear about Albert's infection, but I'm sure he'll shrug it off and your trip will go ahead as planned. It has been a long wait, and a well-earned break is on the cards. I'd suggest a visit to the market before you go to stock up on pies, but you don't need help with cuisine that's for sure. I'm going on a diet now I'm home!0


----------



## aldra

So you say

Tubby 
You are on a diet of pies
A hopeless case

A really lovely hopeless case 

Sandra


----------



## aldra

Steven had a party yesterday

For 60 people

We didn't go

He ordered a hog roast

And I have been pressure cooking the remains into 1lb bags and freezing it for the H from Hell

However the ribs look very tasty

So I have cooked cabbage in butter with a a bit of stock and onions and salad potatoes

Put the ribs on top

It's looking and smelling good 
That's tea sorted

Aldra


----------



## MEES

See message !


----------



## tugboat

aldra said:


> Steven had a party yesterday
> 
> For 60 people
> 
> We didn't go
> 
> He ordered a hog roast
> 
> And I have been pressure cooking the remains into 1lb bags and freezing it for the H from Hell
> 
> However the ribs look very tasty
> 
> So I have cooked cabbage in butter with a a bit of stock and onions and salad potatoes
> 
> Put the ribs on top
> 
> It's looking and smelling good
> That's tea sorted
> 
> Aldra


Oh, SHURRUP!!!>


----------



## HermanHymer

Oh Sandra

I'm sorry I'm going to miss you and Albert and my scary best friend. I'm catching the BF St Malo-Portsmouth on the 25th and back up north to put Herman to bed for the winter.

I'm off to the Alps (Leysin) in Switzerland 3-10 October, then back to sunny climes for the winter.

I'm at my sister's near Poitiers at the moment and this weekend we're going to be visited by lifelong best friends from Australia, so there'll be lots of yapping, eating, drinking and reminiscing. The weather is cooler now but still very pleasant.

Love to you both - hoping the infection clears up very quickly!


----------



## aldra

Sorry to miss you Viv maybe next year 

Safe trip home

Love to you from both of us

Sandra and albert


----------



## aldra

SyicHes out today

Path report 

A melonoma , removed with a really good safe margine 

We are off

The surgeon knows
He'll see use when we get back

If the wound doesn't reopen

We are off for 8 wekk
Leaving Monday

Tunnel Wed morning

So long since we have managed it

If things go wrong we will come back

Aldra


----------



## jiwawa

Wonderful news Aldra! Well be rooting for you on Monday. 

Have a wonderful time n just take it easy.


----------



## oldtart

Wonderful news Sandra. Hope you have a great time. Will be thinking about you both.

We shall be flying to New York on Sunday. We've a lot planned, visiting friends in Albany who are taking us to Niagara Falls, then Washington to pick up the hire car. From there we head south to Florida to stay eith friends we haven't seen since 1974. 

Back at the end of November. I'm apprehensive and excited. Never flown longer than a couple of hours! We're celebrating our golden wedding. Only ever travelled in our MH and narrow boat.

Val


----------



## aldra

Get in there Val

Im getting excited for you

Have a brilliant time 
Sandra


----------



## MEES

Have a great time Val and Dave


----------



## barryd

Have a great time!!!! At last!


----------



## oldtart

Thanks,everyone.

Just waiting for Ian to pick us up. We're going for a meal and then they'll drop us. Off at the hotel. Getting excited now.

I only had one drink last night, but I thought I'd posted in Early Birds part 2! Couldn't understand why there were t any newer pists! 

I'll try and post in Early z rids if zip get the opportunity.

Vsl


----------



## aldra

Not to worry Val

Im always getting threads mixed up

But on MHF, we are all close enough to ignore that

Rejoice in good times

Worry together in bad times

I tHink of everyone as friends that I care about

You have a great time

We are packing the van

Young Albert (6 ft 1 at 14 ) has been here helping his grandad set up the Hydratrail 

And get the scooter on

Apparently Sunseeker stopped to see what's what and have a chat with him

Hi there Sunseeker 

Plants all arranged for easy watering

Young Albert will be here at 8 on Monday to re do the hydra and scooter before school

We haven't room to leave it in situ on the drive

And still need to be careful of the arm as its heavy 

He will call down to feed the birds and fish

Last time he filled the bird feeds with fish food

Hopefully he has now got it sorted

Last minute sort out of the van tomorrow 

And we are off

Staying on a CL in Peterbourgh on route down

A fruit farm, 

Recommended by Jock of Jock and Rita

Sadly no longer with us on MHF

A lovely place with room for the H from Hell to stretch his legs

He is clipped to a Teddy Bear, and I miss his flowing coat

However when he is wet through from swimming , muddy from walking, I will be well pleased

So we are finally off, I have MIFI, on 3Three

£10 a month 

Worth it to annoy you lot with details of our travels

Big tree we are hoping to meet up

Barry would like to meet with you and Michelle

Mees we are on our way to your campsite in Spain 

And anyone else in our Rader 

Aldra


----------



## MEES

Bon Voyage hope we rendezvous in Spain ( practising my French see


----------



## Christine600

aldra said:


> Last minute sort out of the van tomorrow
> 
> And we are off


Fantastic! Have a wonderful time! :smile2::smile2::smile2:


----------



## Bovisand

Hi Sandra,

Stephen here (Bovisand from Southport) we are deep in France at the moment (just nudged into Spain, Perpignan end), heading slowly back in a few days. Weather good at the moment (26c & sunny). Been one of our best trips yet. Did 'Puy du Fou' on the way down and thought it one of the best things/shows/spectacles we have ever seen. Can't reccomend it enough !!

If our paths cross it would be nice to meet up - see how the Hydratrail is doing. We will probably wind our way back toward Calais via Brive la Gailarde or Clermont Ferrand, not sure yet, so many choices. Keep us posted on your journey/route - who knows.

But regardless, enjoy your trip and best wishes to you both.

Stephen and Susan


----------



## HermanHymer

Bonne route, Sandra and Albert

I pray the weather and the traffic will be kind to you. Lotsaluv Viv


----------



## aldra

Slight hiccup

The wound looks to be still infected since the stitches were removed

Put back the crossing until Thursday to give us time to get antibiotics tomorrow

We could still have made the wed crossing by travelling down in one day but would rather split the 300 mile journey over two days

Not in a rush anyway, so we cross at 9. 50am on Thursday

Gives a it more time to finish the packing

Aldra


----------



## jiwawa

So sorry to hear that Aldra, but better to hit it with antibiotics early and give you peace of mind on your journey.

And more sensible to take your time when you've enough other pressures on your plate.

Bon Voyage on Tuesday!


----------



## aldra

Gosh we are shattered

And still not finished

Stuff it wine time

Mostly packed

But then there is the house

We have a cleaner who will come in each week maybe

But she's not the most reliable 

I'll pay her every week we are away

She will come in maybe half of the time or less

But she brightens our life with the catastrophes of hers

A veritable soap opera

And the house will be "fine Ish

Aldra


----------



## oldtart

Have a wonderful time Sandra and Albert. 

We are!

Rockerfeller tower twice yesterday. Daytime and then evening to see everywhere lit up. Also Central Park and then we walked back throughTimes Square. That was incredible everywhere lit up. Just so colourful..
Today it was a cruise to see the Statue of Liberty, Ellis Island and the Governors island. Then we walked to Ground Zero. That was very moving and brings home the reality of what happened there on that day. Difficult to take in really. 

Then we walked to Chinatown and had a meal before getting the subway back. What a day!


Val


----------



## MEES

Sounds very like the fabulous trip we did last year!
Enjoy ! Unfortunately we were too knackered to do a show!


----------



## oldtart

We haven't done one either!

Val


----------



## aldra

Well unfortunately Albert has found another lump on his arm

Close to his recent scar

Contacting Christies today

Just I time for Christmas

Sandra


----------



## MEES

Hope it turns out to be a false alarm


----------



## Christine600

You will get trough this too!


----------



## listerdiesel

Chin up, it always seems worse than it is!

XXXX

Peter


----------



## barryd

Sorry to hear this Sandra. Fingers crossed its ok, please keep us informed.


----------



## alexblack13

Fingers crossed here too Sandra. 

Hoping for the very best for you both.

Alex.


----------



## suedew

Sorry to hear that Sandra, hope it is a false alarm


----------



## javea

Best of luck tomorrow.


----------



## aldra

It's disappointing 

Although I don't know why

We know this will happen

But we hope it won't

So instead we keep hoping it won't appear in lungs or liver 

And if it does then research has moved a step forward before that time 

But no doubt one way or another we will overcome or accept it

Draw it into the fabric of our lives 

The tapestry that makes us, into us

Life is a dynamic process isn't it ??

We think that smooth is great

But maybe we have a chance to grow more when the going is rough

Whether you go with your God or without Him

No great favours here

Except one

It's how it is

Sandra


----------



## 113016

Our thought are with you both. I know it's hard, but Think Lucky


----------



## aldra

Garth

I do love that name

I remember the time we argued met and fell in love

There is all sorts of falling in love

The world is obsessed with one type

Stupid ,we are allowed to love in so many ways

I know you both are with us

Sandra


----------



## aldra

We will get there

Or maybe not
But it won't be from lack from lack of trying

And wewillremember those who are trying to survive
With young families

It's how it is

Our kids are grown

Theirs maybe not
Christies is such a great leveller

People trying to survive for whatever reason

Aldra


----------



## coppo

Please give Albert our best wishes Sandra.


Regards


Paul and Caroline.


----------



## aldra

Coppo, my love

You know I will

And he knows you too

Spending time in our MH 

A breath of fresh air to our old bones

Sandra


----------



## JanHank

Oh dear, not a very nice home coming. I do hope its harmless this time.

Jan


----------



## aldra

Nothing is harmless about melanoma skin cancer Jan

It's what is is

It is relentless, keeps in there, no cure

And we have to keep in there

And hope Christies keep one step ahead

But that's life, keeping one step ahead wink
We walk with our God

Sandra


----------



## ChrisandJohn

Sorry to hear this but hope your holiday has boosted yours and Albert's resilience to face whatever comes next. There are, as you say, all kinds of love, and I send you mine. X X


Chris


----------



## aldra

Has an appointment to see the consultant next Monday 

There is no doubt about Christies, no waiting for a referral, a phone call to the consultants secretary,we have her number, she relays the message, a new tumour ,and phones back the same day with an appointment

That in itself is really reassuring, maybe they can't cure it, but they are there in a personal way every step of way

I had my heart scan today," my little bit of cow" valve apparently is still functioning well

Albert is a bit worried, they can prob cut out this tumour, but every op on that arm carries risk of further oedema and nerve damage, he's already had 8, and fortunately still has full use of his arm
But the consultant is an excellent surgeon

It takes longer to heal now though and without lymph glands in that arm he is prone to infections

But he is still alive and here

Has pressure hosed the front today it's looking good

Sandra


----------



## Jamsieboy

Very best wishes to you and Albert Sandra.
Christies appear excellent at responding to your call so that is v good.
It is a real downer so soon after your holiday but perhaps fortunate that the lump appeared on your return rather than when you folks were in Spain eh.
Good luck for Monday
Jamsie


----------



## tugboat

Arghh, Sandra, so sorry to hear the latest bit of news. The battle goes on, babe. Not the sort of news you want at any time, let alone just before Christmas, but I suppose not entirely unexpected. You'll soldier on as you always do, I'll glad you've had a trip away to have a break and enjoy yourselves.
Hugs to you both.


----------



## aldra

Tuggy we will survive 

How long? Who knows

Young Albert has brought down all the Christmas trees and dec from the loft

He will come to put up the trees soon

Young Albert ??

He's 14 , 6 ft 2 

Towers over his grandad

So when will we next see you and my delightful Ellie 

You would be welcome for Christmas 

You would love it, I know it's a big family, but it's a really warm one

And you would be absorbed in an instant

Come in the car and stay in the house

Loads of room

Sandra


----------



## JanHank

Sandra, I don´t know what to say, but I want you to know I feel for you.
With Love 
Jan XX


----------



## aldra

Hey Jan

Your love and hugs are absorbed into us
Along with all the others on here

What can I say?

If love can get us through 

We have already made it

And love will whether we make it or not

As I said we don't understand everything, the outcomes etc

But you have prob misplaced your God

There have been so many times I wished I'd misplaced HIm 

But so many times I'm glad I hadn't 
Sandra


----------



## barryd

aldra said:


> Tuggy we will survive
> 
> How long? Who knows
> 
> Young Albert has brought down all the Christmas trees and dec from the loft
> 
> He will come to put up the trees soon
> 
> Young Albert ??
> 
> He's 14 , 6 ft 2
> 
> Towers over his grandad
> 
> *So when will we next see you and my delightful Ellie
> 
> You would be welcome for Christmas
> *
> You would love it, I know it's a big family, but it's a really warm one
> 
> And you would be absorbed in an instant
> 
> Come in the car and stay in the house
> 
> Loads of room
> 
> Sandra


Mrs D asked me today after two days back home when am I going to see Tuggers again. 

If he is coming to your place maybe she could send me there for Christmas and we can kill two birds with one stone. If I have to share the spare bed with Tuggers we will have to top and tail.









I dont mind as long as he doesnt wear that frilly nightie.


----------



## aldra

Top to tail ?

I shall make no comments

Fortunately we have 3 spare rooms

Enough for you Michelle and Tuggy 

Top to tail indeed!!!!!!

Aldra


----------



## tugboat

Be more fun if Michelle came along and Barry stayed home. Just sayin'!>


----------



## barryd

tugboat said:


> Be more fun if Michelle came along and Barry stayed home. Just sayin'!>


She says if you look like you did on that photo of you on the boat and grow back the porn tash your on.  You have three weeks, Guffaw!


----------



## tugboat

I can do the tash and the weight loss, but what about the hair? I don't know any wig suppliers.

Dammit, I really thought I was in with a chance there.

Would she accept the baldy issue in exchange for my 'experience' in romancing and the fact my MH is in better nick than yours? I know you struggle in those departments.>


----------



## aldra

I'm rethinking having you two for Christmas

Beautiful singly

Together I'm not so sure

If Michelle would come to even up the odds 

Just send Ellie

At least the hound from hell would have a good Christmas with his little girlfriend

And I'm quite smitten by her too

Mind you Winston is turning out to bea magnificent cross ridgeback

Back to the drawing board

Sandra


----------



## tugboat

I think Albert might struggle to drag us both outside by the heels at bedtime.


----------



## barryd

tugboat said:


> *I can do the tash and the weight loss*, but what about the hair? I don't know any wig suppliers.
> 
> Dammit, I really thought I was in with a chance there.
> 
> Would she accept the baldy issue in exchange for my 'experience' in romancing and the fact my MH is in better nick than yours? I know you struggle in those departments.>


Bollox!!!  Have another Pie or Hot cross bun!! You know you want to. 

Anyway I thought you tried the Tash the other week and it came out white or somefink. Titter!!!


----------



## tugboat

Hey, Admin, we need a 'dislike' button for Bary's posts!:knob:


----------



## aldra

tugboat said:


> I think Albert might struggle to drag us both outside by the heels at bedtime.


Not a problem Tuggy my love

shadow sleeps in our bedroom

I think he views the bedroom much as he views the van ( wink)

Sandra


----------



## tugboat

I meant the garden might be the most suitable overnight place of repose for Barry and me, after you've drunk us into oblivion. You really wouldn't want us in the house in that state!


----------



## barryd

tugboat said:


> I meant the garden might be the most suitable overnight place of repose for Barry and me, after you've drunk us into oblivion. You really wouldn't want us in the house in that state!


Yeah but Sandra tucks you into bed! Well she does me.


----------



## aldra

You two are ruining my reputation

Every one on here sees me as shy demure and easily led into there way of thinking

So ok I tuck you into bed my toy boy

In the nicest possible way

But you are usually drunk on leffe

Not that it bothers me

A toy boy , not what will I call you my Tuggy 

A friend ,, a really close friend

So there it is

A toy boy a I love to pieces
A friend I love to pieces

What's not to celebrate
Without MHF

Id never have met you both

My life would be so much poorer

Sandra


----------



## MEES

Only those who have never net you Sandra would think of you as shy and demure


----------



## aldra

Margaret

I thought you were my friend

Sandra


----------



## Penquin

our lives would have been so much poorer without having met you and Albert and Shadow, thank you Sandra,

Dave and Lesley - keeping a watching brief on this thread as there is so little that we can say to someone we like so much who is going through such things as you are both tackling....


----------



## aldra

Love to both of you Dave and Leslie 

Special friends

We continue 

Well we have to don't we?

It's how it is

We go on living

Sandra


----------



## MEES

Of course I'm your friend
Happy memories of that delicious meal in Torre
The vision of you setting off sleeveless on the scooter to Malaga.is embedded for ever 
Hope next week goes well for you.
You too you will conquer anything in your own special way


----------



## aldra

Didn't match those fantastic chips you did

2 months of nothing but occasional French fries

Real chips, priceless

Sandra


----------



## MEES

Sadly I'm half a stone. Heavier as a result of the chips little tartlets and ice cream :-(
What a way to go though ......


----------



## HermanHymer

I'm missing you Sandra! Wish I could be there for Xmas.

My! young Albert must be standing in the doo-doo. At 14 he's still got even more growing to do.

Grabbing the lumps sooner than later will always help. Albert is in my prayers!

Love in buckets to you both.


----------



## aldra

Well there you go my Viv
You are. So much wiser than me
I so wish you could be here

But if that never is to be

You were here once

So forever we are soul mates
Sandra


----------



## aldra

We are fine

Melonoma is becoming second nature to us

We just keep going 

Well we have no choice really

,melonoma just keeps going 

I doubt we can beat it

But we can give it a good run

Sandra


----------



## HermanHymer

Thank you.

Old Afrikaans proverb .. tomorrow is another day.

Next year there'll be another Xmas... so you won't get shot of me that easily. You and your gang are too much fun.


----------



## aldra

Well his op is on the 6th of jan 

Providing the CT scan doesn't detect internal cancer

Then I suppose it's over to the oncologist 

It's getting to the stage where main nerves can be damaged ,the lymphodemia increased, so it's only worth the risk if it hasn't started to spread internally

Albert's been drinking carrot juice 5lb a day, juiced with lemon and grapefruit
He struggled to find the lump this morning definitely smaller

The consultant said he could have missed that in an examination

We keep on in there
The five trees are up lights on

I need to decorate them now

This is definately the last year I do five trees

Hopefully not because I haven't got Albert

The kids can sort out their own traditions!!!

The grandkids will remember

And so will I

I love Christmas trees

But we need also to think about downsizing

Well maybe, I love this house, when we bought it I fought so hard to make it a home

It didn't seem to like me , I know that sounds strange but it was how it felt for such a long time

A lovely house that held no welcome

But slowly it did I'm sure houses take on the characters of the owners in the bricks and mortar 

And now it's part of me and our family
Strange isn't it 

Aldra


----------



## MEES

Fingers crossed for the CT scan x


----------



## coppo

Best wishes, its been a long battle for Albert and still going on.


Paul.


----------



## barryd

Yes, good luck to you both. I hope you can still enjoy Christmas, I am sure you will.


----------



## listerdiesel

I'd like to add my best wishes to the others.

XXXX

Peter


----------



## Wilmannie

Hope that you have a wonderful Christmas with your family around you, lots of warmth and love and laughter to bind and sustain you all. And then the new year hopefully bringing some easier times for you all.


----------



## aldra

The scan will be next Wed

I'm already anxious, if it's bad news we need to get through Christmas 

Mad, he already has another tumour 

But tumours on his arm seem much better than the thought of internal ones

And we really don't know that is the case

They are probabally bad news long term 

We will keep going though

With the help of you lot

Sandra and albert


----------



## MEES

Good luck !


----------



## suedew

Good luck with all you are facing, sending healing vibes and hugs.

Sue and John


----------



## blondel

Sandra you have had a terrible time over many months and I do feel for you. There is not a lot that any of us can say except that we are thinking of you and wishing you all the best.
Stay strong - and when you can't have a glass of wine!

Hoping for better news along with many others here.

Big hug from me

Pat


----------



## barryd

Good luck for Wednesday. Lets hope its good news for Christmas and if its not we will all be here for you, always.


----------



## aldra

Let's hope so 

He is a bit breathless 

He says it's because he is overweight

I really hope so
Sandra


----------



## 113016

Sandra, there is nothing left to say, except you are both in our thoughts.


----------



## aldra

I know

What can I say, I know

And knowing is special

Me I'm anxious

It's how I am

How would I live without him?

How would I replace him to our family? 
Aldra


----------



## HermanHymer

Keeping fingers crossed its only the arm. Be strong and plan to enjoy Christmas no matter what. Five Christmas trees??? That's awesome. Love and hugs!


----------



## aldra

We will

If and only if it goes to the next stage

We will no doubt learn to cope with it

Thousands have
So why not us?

Sandra


----------



## aldra

Scan today

An anxious week ahead, if it has begun to spread internally the surgeon will call off the the op in Jan

Don't know what happens then

Not a good day

Sandra


----------



## listerdiesel

Keep your pecker up!

Fingers and toes crossed for Albert's results.

Peter


----------



## aldra

I'll try Peter

It's just a worrying time and brings every thing to the fore again and leaves me feeling shaky

But we will get there one way or another

Sandra


----------



## javea

Really hope that all goes well today Sandra.

Mike


----------



## 113016

fingers and toes crossed!


----------



## HermanHymer

Thinking of you both today!


----------



## listerdiesel

aldra said:


> I'll try Peter
> 
> It's just a worrying time and brings every thing to the fore again and leaves me feeling shaky
> 
> But we will get there one way or another
> 
> Sandra


After my recent 'surprise' I was a bit down, but you have to be strong (as you have told me!) and face up to it, for Albert as well as yourself.

If I was to vanish tomorrow, I've had nearly 70 years and it hasn't been that bad, so I can't complain if things did go wrong.

Your situation with Albert is bad as there is no end game, you are always waiting for results, hoping for the best but expectation is for the worst, and that is very wearing on both of you.

We can only offer support from afar, but if it was me I'd be back in Spain again as soon as I could!

XXXX

Peter


----------



## barryd

Any update Sandra?


----------



## aldra

No Barry

He was in the scanner for an hour

And then they turned him round for another 25 mins

They scanned his head this time too

At least they are thorough 

Just don't know what happens if its internal 

Maybe nothing

Or maybe a trial for new drugs

They have no cure as yet

Peters right

There is no end game as yet

Every tumour every scan floors me

And they just keep happening 

I just keep hoping they won't

But they do

And I don't know what happens next

Still I've still got him

Problem is we've been together so long we are as one 
So everything that happens to him happens to me to 

Sandra


----------



## tugboat

You 've been in my thoughts today, Sandra, but not phoned as I figured you'll have to wait for results. I've got everything crossed for you both.


----------



## barryd

So sorry Sandra. Did they tell you when you might find out more? Keep us updated and remember we are all thinking and hoping for good news for you both.

I know what you mean about your last comment when you said_* "Problem is we've been together so long we are as one 
So everything that happens to him happens to me to"

*_The longer you are with someone the closer you get. Those of us who feel that way are lucky I suppose but it cant be easy when something like this happens.

Keep us updated.


----------



## aldra

So janhank

Are you just supporting Barry?

Sorry I don't feel very forgiving

And I always say what I feel

So everyone always knows exactly where I stand

They can take it or leave it as they please

Tonight I feel completely devastated

But tomorrow is another day

Aldra


----------



## aldra

Just ignore me Jan

I'm hurting

And I normally would not hurt anyone

But now I'm not really me

And I just keep wondering

What if

And it's so wrong that I feel this way

I have such a close and loving family

So what makes me feel I can't live without him

Even for them

Aldra

Aldra


----------



## 113016

Good Morning Sandra and Albert. Wishing you better news today:sunny:


----------



## aldra

Well we have been thinking

If the worst happens and he has internal tumours

He passes from the surgeon to the oncologist

And surely he is not employed to say I'll see you in three months if you are still here

We have met him several occasions but as yet his services haven't been needed

Albert remains level 3 until and if it spreads internally

Then he becomes level 4 and Proff Lorigon enters the scene
So we must wait and see

Sandra


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## suedew

Sandra do feel for you both, the waiting is always, as you know, the worst. so much easier to cope when we know exactly what we are dealing with.
Off to Chorley for grandsons birthday tomorrow, will give you a wave as we pass the Bury turn off.

Sue


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## aldra

Yep sue

But unfortunately

Waiting is the name of the game

We wait for tumours we can see

Which turn up on a regular basis

We wait for internal tumours which we can't see

And worry at every scan

And this is now life

Wait hope watch

And it grinds us down

And between we rally
But the betweens are getting shorter

And we are getting so tired

Of hoping

Aldra


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## HermanHymer

Don't give up Sandra. The fat lady hasn't even opened her mouth yet. Strongs!


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## alexblack13

Thinking of and praying for you both.

Keep the spirits up Sandra. Difficult I (we) do know. Soldiering along is what we do now and mostly its ok

Think of the good times ahead too. Many happy miles still to do yet girl.

XX

Alex & carol B ....


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## MEES

Sandra how are things? 
Hope you manage to enjoy a great Christmas despite your worries 
Margaret


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## aldra

We are Ok Margaret 

Shattered but OK

Sandra


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## oldtart

Hi Sandra. Just found this post again so will try to follow it to learn of any news about Albert. 

Like so many people on here just so hope and pray it will turn out OK for him. 

Val


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## HermanHymer

Dearest Sandra

I have just written an article on "cancer, the long-distance marathon of illnesses", and it is.

It's always been my contention that the loved one of the cancer sufferer (survivor!!) is the one that takes the most strain and also needs to be looked after, But there is no escaping this nightmare, so it's vital you keep well and strong. 

I know you've just been away in the motorhome, but have you considered going away for a week or 10 days, somewhere different, where it's warm,. where there are no chores, and there's nothing to do other than enjoy each other's company?

Suggestion: fly (Easyjet) to Essoueira in Morocco I can get you the name of a nice riad to stay in.

Get one or more of the youngsters to come in, keep an eye on the place, and take care of Shadow.

Don't wait till you crack up! If I was there I'd be booking and packing for you.

Will you think about it? Perhaps others have equally good or better suggestions.


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## aldra

Viv we wouldn't expect the family to have the hound from hell

I know he was fine with you once introduced

But enter the garden if he doesn't know you, who knows?.

We have a double gate just in case 

And anyway if Albert has surgery he needs time to recover, this is actually his 10 th op on that arm

And he has a degree of lymphodemia 
Not what the surgeon expects due the multitude of severed nerves and lymph nodes

He thinks he's a miracle 

I think he's a miracle 
cancer probabally doesnt 

But then again he still chops logs, cuts a whole house of Ivy covered walls and clips 10 ft hedges

But now he's tired

If the scan takes him to Level four

Well insurance won't be keen to cover him 

I'm not so sure that the oncologist will be giving much consolation 

We now travel in the van knowing we can get back

If it's urgent he'll fly and one of the sons will fly out to bring me and the van back
So we wait and see 

But I'm getting a tired of waiting, worrying
And I know it's a bad use of time

But I'm an expert in using time badly

Worrying about all and everyone

But this time worrying about me

And feeling that I should be worrying about the kids
It's strange you never really understand what you didn't experience 

I have really no memory of how the kids love their dad
I never loved a dad

I never loved a mum either

But I do love

But I guess it's all out of sinc
But hey I'm free to love

And I love so many people

But then again we are not supposed to

Are we?

Or maybe we are

Just not supposed to tell them

But what the hell

You love you tell and I love many on here

You are safe

Dam it all 

I even love Gemmy

Calm down gemmy , you don't want to have a stroke my bald headed one

And I need an adversity in the future

I hope I do though I'm not sure

So there you go

If Albert goes I go

We are cloned, he gave me life after children's homes he sustained me, he gave me kids and I muddled through

Trying to understand what does a mum do?

But this guy just went on loving sustaining

And I don't care who knows it

He made my life
He allowed me to reach out and love others

So there you go

I'm free to love whoever I want

And I can and do

Aldra


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## barryd

*"I Even love Gemmy"?

*Blimey Sandra. Viv is right, your close to cracking up and need a holiday.


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## tugboat

Barry's right, Sandra. Having to read such profanity at this time of day is upsetting.

Joking aside though, the fact that the hospital haven't been in touch with negative scan results, suggests to me that Albert is looking good for going ahead with the op. I realise that will be tough in itself, but a good sign regarding the overall picture.


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## HermanHymer

Sandra, I am just fretting about you trying to cope bravely without seeking help and support, professionally or from those around you. When a loved one has cancer, everyone who loves that person suffers deeply. It's no wonder the tank runs dry when you give, give and give some more. It's been a long time - would you believe 2 and a half years have passed since the beginning of this thread when you announced that Albert had been first diagnosed? It's been a long and tiring journey for you both. 

You are just one of those people who takes care of everyone else. And you do that so generously. If I could I'd be there giving you back some of your "own medicine". 

Now for a laugh, when I was still working we had a conference and we had to nominate the animal that each person most resembled. By majority opinion I was likened to a sheepdog. I guess that's my personality, as a colleague described it, always running around, snapping at the heels of the "sheep", taking care of my flock. I guess that explains why I am like I am.

What kind of animal are you???


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## aldra

Not a clue Viv 

2 1/2 years the clock is ticking

First consultation you won't make five years, prob much less given the depth of the tumour, it's a fast growing cancer

I don't think they expected 2 1/2 years at first

Treated the Prostate cancer, only because the lymph nodes were clear
Otherwise no point , the melonoma will shorten your life first 

And it prob will

But so could stroke, heart disease and a multitude of other things

My little cow valve is still working fine 

It must love wine

Or feels totally at home

I am a bit of a cow when crossed!!

Viv stop fretting

I survived in children's homes and retained my sense of integrity 

No mean feat in the 50s

And I will survive this too

I just hope he will too

Will do everything I my power to make it so
But something's remain beyond U.S.

Sandra


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## suedew

Sandra, keep drinking the wine, but let your family in to share the stress, you will all be trying to love, help and protect each other.
Love and hugs and give shadow an extra bit of chicken from me.

Sue


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## aldra

The scan was clear of internal cancer

The tumour is removed from his arm, but needed a flap to cover it

Not sure what that means 
But he's home complete with drain

The surgeon thinks he has got it all with good margin
But the tumours keep occurring but still local to the arm

This is his 10th op onthat arm

But he is still level three 

The consultant let him come home as long as he returns on Friday for him to check it 

But as yet no internal spread

It's been a long three weeks of worry and anxiety

A wasted worry thank goodness 

Maybe I'll sleep a whole night tonight 

Ive only managed about 3 to four hrs a night, then I wake up worrying and even when I sleep I dream things are going wrong 

And I tell others not to worry!!!

Sandra


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## HermanHymer

10 out of 10. Albert is truly blessed. Brilliant! Sleep well tonight Sandra, and happy dreams. Just think how good you'll feel when you wake up in the morning and know the monkey on your back is no longer there.

My friend's husband died yesterday morning. He was in his early 80's and not in good health, but it was sudden and unexpected. One can never know who, where and when. So to all of you (and me), enjoy each day like it's your last. One day you'll be right!


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## tugboat

Just the news I've been hoping for.

You've been in my thoughts today, and I hoped the operation was going ahead because the scan was clear.

That man is amazing, as are you, Sandra.

Sending you both lots of love and hugs.


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## barryd

Ill drink to that!!!









Great news! Really pleased for you both Sandra. Relax, have a glass of vino and hopefully a good nights sleep.


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## aldra

tugboat said:


> Just the news I've been hoping for.
> 
> You've been in my thoughts today, and I hoped the operation was going ahead because the scan was clear.
> 
> That man is amazing, as are you, Sandra.
> 
> Sending you both lots of love and hugs.


y

Tuggy

I am far from amazing

I've hardly slept through the Christmas new year period

Cooked meals etc, worried non stop

And for what?

I couldn't change a thing

Except if I hadn't Worried?

Had some faith

Or at least put worry on hold till the results

At least I had you lot

Some out there are worrying

With out you lot to support

Albert Well he is amazing

He can be a grouch though>>
Sandra


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## suedew

Brilliant news, would jump for joy if I had a bit more energy.
Will have a celebration drink to toast you both later tonight.




any excuse lol

Sue


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## ChrisandJohn

Great news, Sandra. Is there somewhere you could book yourself something like a massage, or a reflexology treatment, or whatever sort of thing might help you to relax and let someone look after you for a change?


Chris


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## javea

So glad to hear your good news Sandra, and Albert of course. I hope that you can both now have a more relaxing time.

Mike


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## Wilmannie

Delighted for you both and for your family, the best news and your year off to a great start! 

Happy New Year, all good wishes !


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## MEES

Great news Sandra best wishes to Albert 
You gave been in our thoughts today.
Margaret and Graham


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## Christine600

I'm so glad for you both!


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## blondel

wonderful news Sandra.

Now I can wish you a proper Happy New Year.

Pat


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## JanHank

aldra said:


> y
> 
> Tuggy
> I am far from amazing
> I've hardly slept through the Christmas new year period
> Cooked meals etc, worried non stop
> And for what?
> I couldn't change a thing
> *Except if I hadn't Worried?*
> Had some faith
> Or at least put worry on hold till the results
> At least I had you lot
> Some out there are worrying
> With out you lot to support
> Albert Well he is amazing
> He can be a grouch though>>
> Sandra


Impossible not to worry Sandra.
I am so pleased to read all is well.
A big weight off your shoulders, I wish you both a happy new year with lots of love and fun.
Jan


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## patp

I agree with above. Take yourself off for a nice reflexology treatment or massage. I have reflexology regularly with the odd massage and find it has helped with many minor ailments. It is amazing what they can tell from your feet!


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## aldra

Just back from Christies 

They unwrapped the arm to change the steristrips and dressings

Now I know what a flap is , each cut is about 6 inches long

There are two in V shape as so much tissue needed to be removed to clear the boundaries 

When we redress it I'll post a photo , Christies are happy that one of our two daughters who are both nurses do it

It's not to sensationalise

It's to show you all that a small mole, called skin cancer, which seems innocuous , a cancer of the skin?? has so far required 10 operations, not little ops, but fairly serious extensive ops 

It grows deep into tissues ,blood vessels and travels, even in the lungs, brain and liver it's still 
Skin cancer 

and of course melanoma is the deadliest form of skin cancer 

So BE AWARE, Protect in the sun, have mole changes checked

I would never want any of you to go through this

And we are luckier than many

Well so far we are

Sandra


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## aldra

As promised or more likely warned

This is the result of surgery to remove a melonoma tumour

So watch the sun and those moles


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## listerdiesel

Looks like it will heal up OK, but nasty to have to go through all that surgery.

XXXX

Peter


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## suedew

That is some surgery Sandra, hope it heals up soon and you get off again on your travels

sue x


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## aldra

He heals well but is prone to infection once he completes the first course of antibiotic so we need to keep a carefull check

I tend to think it's where the stitches that have not disolved cause irritation, some take forever to dissolve and the arm sees them as a foriengn body 

Sandra


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## barryd

Super human that Albert I tell yer! 

Hope it heals soon. Looks like it would be blooming sore to me.


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## aldra

Never complains Barry

I'm constantly telling him don't use that arm yet 

Let the internal stitches heal

Never mind how good the external ones look

You have internal ones you can't see 

He will be clipping hedges before you know it 

Sandra


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## aldra

Just to show you 

It felt like a small lump

Maybe 1/2 3/4 inch long

But the tissue that needs to be removed to ensure a clearance is huge

And the last one was in sept 

The poor consultant is struggling to find enough arm left to remove without damaging main nerves etc

Still he is brilliant and Albert's arm still works

Although it's badly swollen with lymphodemia 

Still he will prob cut all the Ivy's and hedges, chop logs etc 

Our grandkids will help and poor old tuggy will no doubt get roped in next time he passes 

Sandra


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## emmbeedee

Wow, all that from a little lump! Just shows you can't be too careful.
Best wishes Sandra & Albert, hope it heals quickly & you can be off on your travels again.

Michael & Doreen.


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## aldra

Yep

That's what I'm trying to get across 

A mole gone wrong

Doesn't look that bad

It's only skin cancer, affects the skin doesn't it ?

No it doesn't it's a deadly cancer quite happy to invade brains, liver etc 

Needs mega portions of tissue cut out to ensure microscopic cells are cleared

In our case in spite of wide excision it reoccurs and reoccurs

This is the tenth op

But hey the internal scans are clear so far

So he remains level 3 in spite of the ops and our oncologist remains redundant 

Sandra


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## patp

A close friend had a sore on his had that would not heal. Tried all sorts before, reluctantly, going to the doctor. It was skin cancer. They took a huge amount of the flesh in his hand away and grafted skin from his groin onto it. 
It has left him with limited movement in that hand. He finds this very frustrating because his job was fencing. He had to give that up, and being over fifty and not qualified to do anything else, he was out of work. His hobby was making things, like bird tables, out of wood. Although he has adapted it is still very frustrating for him.


As Sandra says watch those moles and non healing sores.


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## jiwawa

aldra said:


> He heals well but is prone to infection once he completes the first course of antibiotic so we need to keep a carefull check
> 
> Sandra


Is it worth asking for a longer dose of ABs from the start Sandra?

5 or 7-days seems to be the norm but I know that I need 10 to ward off re-infection. My Dr. now accepts this and co-operates (got fed up of seeing me back when he didn't!)


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## aldra

He is on a ten day course at the moment

Finishes today so we will see 

Still feel it's the stitches over time, as the wounds are quite extensive and deep the surgeons prefers the removable stitches to remain in for three weeks to prevent reopening of the wound

By that time some are difficult if not impossible to remove as new skin has grown over, they in particular cause problems later as the skin over them breaks down trying to expell a "foreign body "
Sandra


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## aldra

Well we have had another anxious period

We received an appointment for a scan

Nota problem we felt it's just the routine 6 monthly

Not required as we had the whole scan , an Pep in dec, all clear

The scan was cancelled but ultra sound booked

Why, apparently the scan was good, but

Why is there always a but?.

There was an area where the tumour before last was removed and required a follow up of radiotherapy as couldn't be completely cleared as it was on amajorblood vessel in the way which maybe suspect

Ultra sound today, a docter who did it a consultant waiting to double check

Nothing there to cause any worry
Relax again

Hopefully a break before the next crisis

But Christies are magnificent.

His stitches come out tomorrow, he's using the arm, he's ready to start on the garden, conifers to comedown and a fence to erect to screen the compost bins climbing roses to plant out, 

Life resumes

It shouldn't stop 

But we lack the courage, the faith ? Between times 

Sandra


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## tugboat

Thanks for the update, Sandra, it sounds like Albert is feeling gung-ho if he's eyeing up the garden chores.

I'm delighted to hear the scan was good, and I hope the stitches come out OK without difficulty.

Please give the man my best.


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## alexblack13

Happy with your good news Sandra.

I found that doing things (occupational therapy) helped me a lot too. I did everything needed including a kitchen refurb etc & it did keep the mind off things.

My nail biters right now are the PSA results every month. Waiting on results for last one right now. I ask my wife to open them and read them to me.. lol..

You guys make sure you have something to look forward to.. Very important that. We are waiting on a new van and its amazing how much that has diverted us.

All the very best to you and Albert.

Alex & Carol Black..


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## listerdiesel

Some good news for you both.

Well done!

XXXX

Peter


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## aldra

alexblack13 said:


> Happy with your good news Sandra.
> 
> I found that doing things (occupational therapy) helped me a lot too. I did everything needed including a kitchen refurb etc & it did keep the mind off things.
> 
> My nail biters right now are the PSA results every month. Waiting on results for last one right now. I ask my wife to open them and read them to me.. lol..
> 
> You guys make sure you have something to look forward to.. Very important that. We are waiting on a new van and its amazing how much that has diverted us.
> 
> All the very best to you and Albert.
> 
> I'm not happy you feel that same anxiety Alex
> 
> But im relieved it's not just us
> 
> I feel anxious that I'm missing the joy of him being here by worrying about the present and the future
> 
> Still we are only human after all
> 
> You stay in there, both of you
> 
> Sandra


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## jiwawa

aldra said:


> But we lack the courage, the faith ? Between times
> 
> Sandra


You're doing just fine Sandra.

The 2 of you are tremendously courageous. The fact that you've no choice doesn't make it any the less remarkable.

Hang on in there. I used to find doing a jacquard-type, repetitive tapestry was a terrific stress-absorber.


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## Wilmannie

Albert & Sandra and Carol & Alex your courage is awesome and you deserve all the support you can get! 

And your anxieties are very natural human feelings not weakness at all.

Whatever therapy helps I'm sure that we're all just very, very glad that it's there for you. 

Hedge trimming and ivy cutback sound like fearsome therapies to me!

All good wishes to you that you continue to triumph over the crisis situations ........ and I very much hope that you will all be out there exploring in your motorhomes again this summer. (in sunshine!)


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## alexblack13

aldra said:


> alexblack13 said:
> 
> 
> 
> Happy with your good news Sandra.
> 
> I found that doing things (occupational therapy) helped me a lot too. I did everything needed including a kitchen refurb etc & it did keep the mind off things.
> 
> My nail biters right now are the PSA results every month. Waiting on results for last one right now. I ask my wife to open them and read them to me.. lol..
> 
> You guys make sure you have something to look forward to.. Very important that. We are waiting on a new van and its amazing how much that has diverted us.
> 
> All the very best to you and Albert.
> 
> I'm not happy you feel that same anxiety Alex
> 
> But im relieved it's not just us
> 
> I feel anxious that I'm missing the joy of him being here by worrying about the present and the future
> 
> Still we are only human after all
> 
> You stay in there, both of you
> 
> Sandra
> 
> 
> 
> Wilco Sandra.
> 
> Human we are and we all worry and get anxious It's what we do. I am just carrying on month to month and enjoy getting off in the moho. If we are away then the blood test can wait till we get home and I have it done when I get my 'Jag'.... I can mostly forget all about when we are away.
> 
> That will do for now eh?
> 
> Take care lovely..
> 
> Al' ....
Click to expand...


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