# So thats it 25 yrs of Motorhoming with the missus over



## drcotts (Feb 23, 2006)

Hi All

Tomorrow sees me and the missus sign our financial agreement following the break up of our marriage.

I get to keep the van and she the house. Other financial financial things have been sorted out between us and we are both happy.

I can stay in the house as long as i wish till i find somewhere suitable. Havent made my mind up yet what I am doing with the rest of my life but have several options.

I cant help thnking about all the things we have done in our vans over the years and even writing this brings a tear.

Sad sad day. She doesnt want to go in the van again

Might attend a rally in the coming months but being in the van without her is hard. No chance of reconciliation i,m afraid.

Still thats life.


Phill


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## ChrisandJohn (Feb 3, 2008)

I'm sorry that this is such a sad time for you, but I'm glad you've managed to come to a financial agreement that you're both happy with.

Time will make a difference as you explore and decide upon the options you already know you have, and the ones that haven't revealed themselves yet. Without denying the sadness you could look at the future as an adventure.


Best wishes

Chris


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## 747 (Oct 2, 2009)

Chris and John have summed it up well.

Do not dwell on the past, look to the future.


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## barryd (May 9, 2008)

Must be very sad. You still have all us lot on here though to share your motorhome adventures with.

Do you not fancy the Rally at Croft in May? 
http://www.motorhomefacts.com/modules.php?name=Rallies&op=display_results&rid=521

Not that it matters but I know there are one or two singles going. I reckon ill be on me own an all!


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## prof20 (Jan 11, 2007)

barryd said:


> Must be very sad. You still have all us lot on here though to share your motorhome adventures with.
> 
> Do you not fancy the Rally at Croft in May?
> http://www.motorhomefacts.com/modules.php?name=Rallies&op=display_results&rid=521
> ...


The 'Here We Go Gathering Nuts In May ' Rally :lol:

R  ger


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## aldra (Jul 2, 2009)

it is sad Phil 

But as you say you retain all the memories of past happiness shared

I hope you can still be friends in the future

You cannot know which way your paths will take you, but you will sort out solo motor-homing it just takes a little time to adjust to a new lifestyle

Aldra


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## janet1 (Feb 10, 2012)

Hi. Come to Croft at Darlington. It is a great place with friendly folks. x


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## drcotts (Feb 23, 2006)

Thanks everyone. 
Yes I know life goes on and I must look to the future but its so hard whenever I go anywhere now I will remember that I went there with pauline. The old van we started with and how we worked our way up to the dream van we had now. All for nothing
Will try and get to one of the rallies soon as I do fancy meeting you all
Thanks again
Phill


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## captainking (Jun 16, 2005)

As others of said Phill, sorry to hear the news, you will have to make a few decorative changes to the van and visit places that you have never been before and places you dreamed of going to.

Good luck, we will be doing a couple of rallies this year so keep your eye out all the best from

Captain


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## coppo (May 27, 2009)

Best wishes for the future Phill, its awful when you break up, I have been through it and everyone deals with it in their own way, some move on quickly, others get really down, everyone is difference.

As long as I have my health is what I used to say and think of all those people with terminal illnesses, as I say we all have different ways of coping.

Friends are a big help.

Regards

Paul.


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## Stanner (Aug 17, 2006)

> The 'Here We Go Gathering Nuts In May ' Rally :lol:
> 
> R  ger


Shouldn't that be...

'Here We Go - Nuts Gathering In May ' Rally :wink:


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## rosalan (Aug 24, 2009)

Nobody can ever take your lifes experiences away from you; they are yours for keeps.
What is wrong remembering the 'good times', but there can always be more. Perhaps you are not ready for more just yet but you will be. It is one of lifes kindnesses that all pain fades given a little time.
When things hurt and perhaps you feel lonely, we are always here so loneliness is not an option.
Time to plan new dreams.

My goodness how easy it is to say words that while sincerely meant sound so glib... forgive me but still accept my thoughts.

Alan


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## drcotts (Feb 23, 2006)

rosalan said:


> Nobody can ever take your lifes experiences away from you; they are yours for keeps.
> What is wrong remembering the 'good times', but there can always be more. Perhaps you are not ready for more just yet but you will be. It is one of lifes kindnesses that all pain fades given a little time.
> When things hurt and perhaps you feel lonely, we are always here so loneliness is not an option.
> Time to plan new dreams.
> ...


No problem Alan no offence taken I know what you mean
Time will heal
Phill


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## Kaytutt (Feb 5, 2013)

I'm so sorry Phill, you can't just turn your back on a life you have had for 25 years without feeling hurt but as others have said, you get to keep the happy memories, they cant be taken away and you will find happiness again, it'll just be different

Good luck and very kind regards


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## listerdiesel (Aug 3, 2012)

We've been blessed with 44 years of marriage, as long as you have been alive.

In that time we have often struggled with finances, children, work, me on overseas travel and so on, but we have always been able to keep it all together, even in the worst of times.

I cannot imagine how it must be to split up, my whole life is tied up closely with my lady, we live, work eat and sleep together and I would be in a bit of a state if something happened to break us up.

You've got useful years in front of you, time to look at maybe doing things that you couldn't do when you were both together. Another partner is always a possibility, don't block it out just because you have had problems now, look at the future.

I'd have a year's sabbatical and gather my thoughts, make some long-term plans and do them.

All the best from us both.

Peter & Rita


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## drcotts (Feb 23, 2006)

Some lovely comments thanks to all.
Phill


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## rayrecrok (Nov 21, 2008)

Hi.

Divorce creates the same feelings as a bereavement, the same sense of loss very hard to cope with, but that is what you will do, cope...

It's a new life for you now, a clean sheet or as clean as it can be.. So take all the help you need as it is offered I am sure, folk will say if there is anything you need call me.... Do just that.

ray


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## DABurleigh (May 9, 2005)

You have got over denial to acceptance, are now in the grieving, and as the months go by, your thoughts will be freer to turn to what life choices might make you happy - nothing else really matters. Gradually mull the options and eventually you will know the path that feels right. Once you are content with that, commit to making it happen.

No need to rush, for it is far too early to decide in any case. Just mull the possibilities.

Dave


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## MEES (Apr 20, 2006)

So sad to read this.
32 yrs ago was in your position.
An elderly widowed friend advised me to never turn down an invitation even if I didn't really fancy it.
It was very good advice.
Good luck. Try to stay in some form of relationship with your ex. especially if you have kids.
Margaret


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## teemyob (Nov 22, 2005)

Wow Phil, I feel for you.

That must be very hard and can't be easy. 

I hope you can move on and whilst we have never met. I sincerely hope that you can move on with a view to pastures new. Then look back on it all has the happy past with a bright future.

Me & Mrs TM have been together for 32 years, married for 27, I do not know what she would do without me!.

Me on my own. I would have to empty the bloody thetford.

Chin up, safe and happy travels.

TM


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## Jamsieboy (Jan 14, 2011)

Phil
You have been through and are still going through a very difficult time.
My advice - take the time you need to work through the various emotions - it is important that you move ahead at your pace. 
Look back, remember the good times but don't keep your gaze on the past. Sometimes it helps to glance back before setting your sights on the future. But to move forward you need to set your sights on what lies ahead.
I wish you all the best as you prepare for the new life awaiting You.
Cheers


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## drcotts (Feb 23, 2006)

rayrecrok said:


> Hi.
> 
> Divorce creates the same feelings as a bereavement, the same sense of loss very hard to cope with,.
> 
> ray


You are spot on Ray
I took the van to the dealer this morning for the service and MOT and as i passed the hab door i saw all the caravan club plaques and stickers that we have collected over the years. then i got in the cab and saw the bleeding eurotunnel hanger from the last trip to france we had. It is just like sorting through a loved ones possesions who has passed on. the van is full of her stuff that she will be taking out soon, creams perfume hairdryers and womas little touches.

I hope i can move on soon

Thanks to all for the support
Phill


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## patp (Apr 30, 2007)

So sorry to hear of your troubles. I can not offer any advice but hope you manage to work your way through this sad time for you.


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## suedew (May 10, 2005)

Hang in there Phil it will get better, don't expect too much too soon. I used to listen to lena martel's one day at a time, though not at all religious. Can honestly smile about it now.

Sue


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## barryd (May 9, 2008)

> *suedew wrote: *Hang in there Phil it will get better, don't expect too much too soon. I used to listen to lena martel's one day at a time, though not at all religious. Can honestly smile about it now.
> 
> Sue


Blimey Sue! We are trying to cheer the poor guy up not get him to top himself! 

I suggest Thin Lizzy, "The boys are back in town!"


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## tugboat (Sep 14, 2013)

Bit of Abba, you know you want to!


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## drcotts (Feb 23, 2006)

LOL nutters the lot of ya but very much appreciated


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## Pudsey_Bear (Sep 25, 2008)

Bad news Phill, are you looking to start a new relationship yet or is it too soon, having been in your situation I can recommend one site http://www.midsummerseve.com/ My sister was on it so I gave it a try an met Liz, in 2006, when you're ready mate  it also has a forum and social side not to dissimilar from MHF.


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## suedew (May 10, 2005)

barryd said:


> > *suedew wrote: *Hang in there Phil it will get better, don't expect too much too soon. I used to listen to lena martel's one day at a time, though not at all religious. Can honestly smile about it now.
> >
> > Sue
> 
> ...


Thanks Barry 2nd time it was I will survive  (and I have) 
Just as difficult as the first, no good flogging a dead horse you both have to want things to work.

Sue


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## barryd (May 9, 2008)

Hey! Drcotts! If you really want I could post some of my Youtube music videos! That will really cheer you up! 8O 

Im not sure I ever recorded "I will survive" Sue but I can learn it if you like. Maybe a disco or heavy metal version. 

See you feel better already. Just send me £500 via paypal and I wont do it!


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## aldra (Jul 2, 2009)

It will get better Phil 

Did you both agree that a divorce was the answer

A personal question so don't answer lt

However if you did the moving on is a natural process

Memories anchor you to the past

But soon enough you will move forward

And memories however delightful will illustrate your past

Forever part of your future 

Take care

Aldra


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