# The worst jokes ever!



## bigbazza

How about telling some of the worst jokes we've ever heard :?: 
I'll start it off then everyone join in  

Here we go:-

My dogs got no nose!


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## motormouth

Well how does he smell :?: :?: :?: :? :? :?


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## bigbazza

Terrible  Boom Boom  

Next please.


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## pippin

Knock, knock - who's there?


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## bigbazza

Al Tell


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## aircool

A guy walks into a Bakers where everything is a pound, but the guy asks why is there one cake on the top shelf that is three pounds?

The Baker said, That's Madeira cake.


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## pippin

Hang on - getting out of sync here.

Al Tell who?


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## loddy

Novels

The dark cave by Hugo First
The babbling Brook by I.P. Freely
Who Flung Dung by Willie Catchit


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## bigbazza

pippin said:


> Hang on - getting out of sync here.
> 
> Al Tell who?


Al Tell you later, Boom Boom 

Next please


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## charlieivan

What do you call a deaf Gorilla?


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## bigbazza

I don't know, what do you call a deaf gorilla?


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## tonyt

......... and one from me down here:

What do you call an African with a gun?


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## whistlinggypsy

anything you want, he will not hear you :roll:


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## Chrys

Where does a Monkey do it's toast

Under the Gorilla


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## 100127

tonyt said:


> ......... and one from me down here:
> 
> What do you call an African with a gun?


Sir :lol: :lol:


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## pippin

Blast it!

I will have to break open the unused box of Christmas crackers in order to find some really corny jokes.


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## Pudsey_Bear

What's green and stands in the corner :?: :?: :?:


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## bigbazza

I don't know, what is green and stands in the corner?


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## Pudsey_Bear

bigbazza said:


> I don't know, what is green and stands in the corner?


Sorry, I went out.

what is green and stands in the corner?

A naughty frog.


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## bigbazza

Whats green and hangs from trees?


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## Pudsey_Bear

bigbazza said:


> Whats green and hangs from trees?


Sir sir I know sir

Griller snot sir.


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## bigbazza

Hard luck Kev, it was monkey snot


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## teemyob

*wifes cooking*

I asked the wife why she had not put mushrooms on my breakfast...........

She said because there was not Mush-Room for anything else.

TMc


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## rayrecrok

Hi.


Why did the American chicken cross the road?..

ray.


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## Pudsey_Bear

bigbazza said:


> Hard luck Kev, it was monkey snot


Lying tart, it's always been Gorilla snot :lol: :lol:


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## bigbazza

rayrecrok said:


> Hi.
> 
> Why did the American chicken cross the road?..
> 
> ray.


I don't know, why did it?


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## aldra

I suppose it depends on how you use the website

I like to browse and read most topics including the jokes

Some are funny others not but that would depend on sense of humour, as long as I do not find them offensive I have no problem 

I read every thing on motorhomes and travel too and file away tips etc for future use

I hadn't really considered that posts on Jokes and Trivia may cause other topics to disappear from the list but can now understand why a separate area would be beneficial

But if that's not possible then every topic has as much right as another to be on here and to my mind there is a wide range of topics to suit everyone

In a couple of months the motorhome topics will increase as every one starts to travel again

Aldra


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## aldra

Opps posted in the wrong thread

This IPad has a mind of its own and jumps around

Or maybe it's me

Aldra


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## Pudsey_Bear

aldra said:


> Opps posted in the wrong thread
> 
> This IPad has a mind of its own and jumps around
> 
> Or maybe it's me
> 
> Aldra


I don't know if you can see it on an ipad, but there is a delete icon next to the thanks icon, I use it frequently.


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## aldra

Shoud have been a thanks

Forget the like :lol: :lol: 

Aldra


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## lifestyle

A guy goes into a bakers for a loaf of bread
The baker says what do you want brown or white
The guy says It don`t matter,i have my bike outside. :roll: :roll: :roll: 

Mummy can i lick the bowl
No you can pull the chain like everyone else.
Well you did ask   

Les


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## HarleyDave

What do you call a girl between two posts?

Cheers

Dave


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## Pudsey_Bear

aldra said:


> Shoud have been a thanks
> 
> Forget the like :lol: :lol:
> 
> Aldra


 :lol: :lol: You can unlike too, but not sure if you get an email for that, waiting for someone to test it.


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## Pudsey_Bear

lifestyle said:


> A guy goes into a bakers for a loaf of bread
> The baker says what do you want brown or white
> The guy says It don`t matter,i have my bike outside. :roll: :roll: :roll:
> Les


You'll have to explain that one for me


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## lifestyle

Kev_n_Liz said:


> lifestyle said:
> 
> 
> 
> A guy goes into a bakers for a loaf of bread
> The baker says what do you want brown or white
> The guy says It don`t matter,i have my bike outside. :roll: :roll: :roll:
> Les
> 
> 
> 
> You'll have to explain that one for me
Click to expand...

I can`t really   .Just tell it to a group of lads down the pub and watch the expressions on their faces,then stand back in case they jump on you.  

Les


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## bigbazza

I'm totally confused as well 


What do you call a care free Japanese boy who's father has the runs?


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## pippin

Something to do with a dog breed called sh1tsu?


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## bigbazza

pippin said:


> Something to do with a dog breed called sh1tsu?


Not even warm


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## 747

bigbazza said:


> What do you call a care free Japanese boy who's father has the runs?


Albert.


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## bigbazza

It's a slap happy jappy with a crap happy pappy  

Next please


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## HarleyDave

HarleyDave said:


> What do you call a girl between two posts?
> 
> Cheers
> 
> Dave


Come on guys - it's Annette

Now - what do you call a girl with one leg longer than the other?

Cheers

Dave


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## Pudsey_Bear

HarleyDave said:


> HarleyDave said:
> 
> 
> 
> What do you call a girl between two posts?
> 
> Cheers
> 
> Dave
> 
> 
> 
> Come on guys - it's Annette
> 
> Now - what do you call a girl with one leg longer than the other?
> 
> Cheers
> 
> Dave
Click to expand...

I don't know, what do you call a girl with one leg longer than the other?

*What do you call the couple who fish together a lot.*


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## HarleyDave

Eileen

As for the couple

I dunno - What *DO* you call a couple who fish together a lot??

Cheers

Dave


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## Pudsey_Bear

HarleyDave said:


> I dunno - What *DO* you call a couple who fish together a lot??
> Dave


Rod & Annette :wink: :wink:


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## lifestyle

Two birds sitting on a perch,one says to the other" Can you smell fish "


Les


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## bigbazza

Boom Boom   


Doctor doctor, I think I'm a pair of curtains :?: :?: :?: :?:


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## lifestyle

Doctor Doctor,i keep thinking people are ignoring me. 

NEXT


Mummy Mummy i don`t like daddy
Shut up and eat what you are given.


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## Pudsey_Bear

bigbazza said:


> Boom Boom
> 
> Doctor doctor, I think I'm a pair of curtains :?: :?: :?: :?:


Pull yourself together man.


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## bigbazza

Boom Boom  

Next please


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## prof20

What do you call an Asian guy with a rasher of bacon on his head?


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## Pudsey_Bear

prof20 said:


> What do you call an Asian guy with a rasher of bacon on his head?


I don't know, what do you call an Asian guy with a rasher of bacon on his head?


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## HarleyDave

Hamhead??

Cheers

Dave


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## prof20

What do you call an Asian guy with two rashers of bacon on his head?

(The answer to the first is Hamed) Nearly right Harleydave.


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