# How to anoy Tesco staff



## clodhopper2006 (Aug 13, 2006)

Just recently I bought a new telly from Tesco. Now on getting it home I expected the usual problem of having to teach the Sky + remote to turn it on and off. Not the case though, the telly seems to be preset to react to the remote.
Now this got me thinking, are all tellys now preset to react to Sky + remotes? If so this gives me an idea of how I might amuse myself while my wife spends hours looking round the clothing section. I could presumably switch every telly in the store off and on at will with my Sky remote much to the puzzlement of the staff. While I'm at it I could do the ones in the high street shops to. 
Anyone ever tried this?


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## tonyt (May 25, 2005)

In my younger days - a long, long time ago - I used to have great fun in the kitchenware section of department stores (if you remember what they were!), by winding up all the cooking timers. Very tame by modern youth prank standards but at the time I felt a real rebel.


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## PIEDODGER (Aug 22, 2008)

When I was a young lad I had a Saturday job in a TV repair shop I used to stand outside Currys when there was a big match on, people used to gather at the windows and just at the point there could be a goal I used to switch the TV over to the Snooker.    BY the way if I got really board I used to stick a 10 pence piece to the pavement and laugh my head off watching people try pick it up, nothings really changed since then.


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## spykal (May 9, 2005)

PIEDODGER said:


> nothings really changed since then.


Oh yes it has ...no one will bend down for a 10p nowadays ..it needs to be a 50p :wink:


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## PIEDODGER (Aug 22, 2008)

YES, but up here we invented copper wire by pulling on a penny!!!


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## pete4x4 (Dec 20, 2006)

I sadly have a pda which has the ability to control any piece of remote control kit you can think of, excellent for turning the volume up on tvs in store and on ferries. Also good for controlling air conditioning in hotel rooms that you have to pay 4.
Also known to turn football off in airports in favour of Rugby


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## Zebedee (Oct 3, 2007)

I'd like a gadget that would interfere with every mobile phone within 20 yards. :twisted: :twisted: 

I used to really enjoy train journeys, but these days it's ruined by the people bellowing into their mobiles. I'd love to be able to reach into my pocket and start them all buzzing furiously - it would be just as interesting as some of the posey conversations. 8O


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## pete4x4 (Dec 20, 2006)

ebay, but they are illegal


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## JohnsCrossMotorHomes (Jul 21, 2007)

Things to do in Tesco


Proof of what can happen if a wife or girlfriend drags her husband or boyfriend along shopping . This letter was recently sent by Tesco's Head Office to a customer in Wigan: 

Dear Mrs. Cater, 

While we thank you for your valued custom and use of the Tesco Loyalty 
Card, the Manager of our store in Wigan is considering banning you and 
your family from shopping with us, unless your husband stops his antics. 

Below is a list of offences over the past few months all verified by our 
surveillance cameras: 

1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's 
trolleys when they weren't looking. 

2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.. 

3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to feminine products aisle. 

4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official tone, 
'Code 3' in housewares..... and watched what happened. 

5. August 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area. 

6. September 15: Set up a tent in the outdoor clothing department and told 
shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring sausages and a Calor gas stove. 

7. September 23: When the Deputy Manager asked if she could help him, he 
began to cry and asked, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?' 

8. October 4: Looked right into the security camera; used it as a mirror, 
picked his nose, and ate it. 

9. November 10: While appearing to be choosing kitchen knives in the Housewares aisle 
asked an assistant if he knew where the antidepressants were situated. 

10. December 3: Darted around the store suspiciously, loudly humming the theme 
tune from 'Mission Impossible' 

11. December 6: In the kitchenware aisle, practised the 'Madonna look' 
using different size funnels. 

12. December 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed, yelled 
'PICK ME!' 'PICK ME!' 

13. December 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, 
assumed the foetal position and screamed 'NO! NO! It's those voices again.' 

And; last, but not least: 

14. December 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited a 
while; then yelled, very loudly, 'There is no toiletpaper in here.'


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## clodhopper2006 (Aug 13, 2006)

JohnsCrossMotorHomes said:


> 13. December 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker,
> assumed the foetal position and screamed 'NO! NO! It's those voices again.'
> 
> .'


Brilliant! this one reminds me of a tanoy announcement I heard in Dobbies once. I still dont know if the poor girl on the customer service desk was being wound up or not.

"Would Mr Goodwilly <titter, titter> Would Mr .......<pause> would Mr Goodwilly please report to customer services" the final phrase being spoken in a hurried an histerical manner


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## PIEDODGER (Aug 22, 2008)

nice one... we used to leave messages (name and number) for the management, get them to phone up places like Edinburgh Zoo where they used to ask for a Mr C. Lyons and a Miss Pam Ther, they never did learn!!! :lol: :lol: :lol:


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## archai46 (Sep 7, 2008)

I used to be on the receiving end of this kind of thing at work. I thought that I had got good at spotting them until one day I ignored a message from a "Richard Turpin" only to be called by him three days later and he was not best pleased that I hadn't returned his call!


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