# Lost confidence



## TheColeses (Apr 19, 2011)

Hi,
I've been driving m/homes confidently for 10 years; we're currently in S France on our honeymoon & a week ago another m/home unexplainedly (language problem anyway) swerved & we clashed mirrors. I'm suddenly terrified, whether I'm driving or a passenger. It seems a long way home :-( Husband keeps saying it wasn't my fault (he was in the passenger seat & didn't even have time to see the mirrors were on a collision course) I just can't get over feeling I no longer know where the limits of the van are.


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## rayc (Jun 3, 2008)

TheColeses said:


> Hi,
> I've been driving m/homes confidently for 10 years; we're currently in S France on our honeymoon & a week ago another m/home unexplainedly (language problem anyway) swerved & we clashed mirrors. I'm suddenly terrified, whether I'm driving or a passenger. It seems a long way home :-( Husband keeps saying it wasn't my fault (he was in the passenger seat & didn't even have time to see the mirrors were on a collision course) I just can't get over feeling I no longer know where the limits of the van are.


It's easy for doubts to come on when an incident has happened. I know someone who stepped off the kerb when a car was passing rather than let it completely get past. She almost walked into the side of it and was lucky to get away with a scraped finger. She had a bit ofa loss of confidence, is over it but still very careful when crossing the road.

I am sure in time the doubts will fade, you will put it down to experience and regain your confidence.


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## Telbell (May 1, 2005)

Don't worry Mrs Coles....you aren't the first to bust the wing mirror & you certainly won't be the last!!! It's certainly no reflection (sorry!) on your driving, given the extent to which they....extend.

Just like coming off a bike get back on as soon as you can.

You'll be ok


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## CliffyP (Dec 19, 2008)

Hi. its only a wing mirror (easily said I know), clearly if you have driven a motorhome for ten years and only suffered a mirror your driving must be good. These things happen, as Tel says its like riding a bike. Get yourself driving it again as soon as you are able. The French are bloody awful drivers, so dont let this idiot dent your confidence ( my missus is a great driver, but wont drive the m/home). Keep at it :wink:


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## bigbazza (Mar 6, 2008)

Just as Tel says from me to.  
It only needs a minute miscalculation and it happens.
It's only a mirror


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## cabby (May 14, 2005)

My sentiments exactly, they went towards you, no reflection on your driving at all, unfortunately these things happen. this is all after 10 years driving motorhome, you are a saint. :lol: :lol: 

cabby


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## ChrisandJohn (Feb 3, 2008)

TheColeses said:


> snipped.....
> another m/home unexplainedly (language problem anyway) swerved ............. I just can't get over feeling I no longer know where the limits of the van are.


From what you say they swerved into you, so, it was an issue of you knowing your limits.

I agree you need to get back to driving it as soon as possible, but perhaps take it easy at first so you develop your confidence gradually.

Congratulations on the marriage, by the way. Have a great time and don't let this spoil anything.

Chris


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## TheColeses (Apr 19, 2011)

Thanks so much everyone. Sorry I can't use thank button on my mobile, but I do appreciate the support. Yes, it's my first blip in 10 years, so hopefully normal service will be resumed if I can just get over this feeling. Thanks again.
Mrs Coles


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## dovtrams (Aug 18, 2009)

I know exactly how you feel, as our mirror was hit by a swerving caravan coming down Glencoe. For the first few trips afterwards I kept thinking it was me, but have now forgot about it and back to normal. It was not you so get back to driving and enjoy the rest of your trip. 

all the best

dave


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## ChrisandJohn (Feb 3, 2008)

TheColeses said:


> Thanks so much everyone. Sorry I can't use thank button on my mobile, but I do appreciate the support. Yes, it's my first blip in 10 years, so hopefully normal service will be resumed if I can just get over this feeling. Thanks again.
> Mrs Coles


I think what we're suggesting is that you will get over this feeling (gradually) by resuming normal service (gradually).

Chris


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## gillnpaul (Jan 6, 2007)

Hey, I also broke a mirror clashing with a French lorry driver just outside St Tropez last year, look on the positive side tho , at least you'l know how to change a door mirror . hope you get your confidence back asap.
I just had to stop furher down the raos and have a cuppa and six ****...sorted....

regards
Paul


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## patnles (Oct 26, 2006)

Don't worry Mrs Coles, I have recently become the sole driver of our motorhome and I'm of the belief that my lack of any incident so far has been pure good luck. 
After ten years without incident I think it's safe to say you are a good driver and the other driver probably did not have your experience. 
On the other hand he could have just been an idiot. There's alot of them about.
As others have said, if you bite the bullet and get back in the driving seat at every opportunity, I'm sure your confidence will be restored by the time you get home.
Lesley


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## tessajoe (Sep 23, 2008)

hi, i also lost a wing mirror in france,and only that the passenger window was closed it would have caused my wife a lot of injuries as it made indentations into the body work,i also lost the confidence i always had driving in france,the stupid thing i done was to slow right down ang get as far to the ditch as i could,but the idiot did not slow down{it was a c road}and he knocked my wing mirror clean off,but did not stop 8O ,after that i know how you feel.now in the same situation i will get right in the middle of the road so there is no way of passing at speed.keep your chin up, you will get all your confidence back.


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## Steveboy (Jun 1, 2011)

Remember when these things happen it is a physical and mental shock to our systems and bodies. It is quite normal to feel 'not yourself' for sometime afterwards. In cases of severe shock or trauma the recovery process is a really long one. Take it easy and let your body and mind recover in their own time.


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## bozzer (Jul 22, 2009)

As everyone says get back in the drivers seat as soon as you can. You've had the confidence to drive the Motorhome for the last 10 years so you'll be ok. I on the other hand have driven a car for over 40 years - long distance as well as around home but haven't the confidence to get in the drivers seat of the motorhome. 

Let us know how you get on it might spur me on.

Jan


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## Jented (Jan 12, 2010)

Hi.
We all have bumps,one in ten years is well down the charts :lol: .I have found over the years,a quick look in the mirrors,(those you have got :lol: ),will tell you your position on the road,how far from the kerb,and how far from the white line,then adjust to suit,don't let it worry you.
An old trick i used in the lorry,if it looked narrow,i would keep my elbows in,that seemed to work. Stay well,stay LUCKY!!.
Gearjammer


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## patnles (Oct 26, 2006)

Snipped quote:


Jented said:


> An old trick i used in the lorry,if it looked narrow,i would keep my elbows in,that seemed to work. Stay well,stay LUCKY!!.
> Gearjammer


I find myself doing that too  it's worked for me so far. Sometimes I breathe in at the same time. Belt and braces and all that.... 
Lesley


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## rosalan (Aug 24, 2009)

Nobody seems to have mentioned that the other driver did not swerve enough; why are you carrying all of the blame?
Almost every day some other vehicle will pass very close by me, often at speed and every time I expect my mirror to encounter their projecting mirror which is more difficult to make allowances for than the body of their vehicle.
The factors involved may well have been out of both your control and theirs when the structures of the road itself can have caused you both to make minute corrections that caused your broken (and replaceable) mirror.
The Fiat type work out at around £120+, worry about this more than your confidence.
Spilt milk? Move on!
Alan


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## Suenliam (Mar 22, 2006)

This confidence thing is a bit of a problem. Your head says it was not your fault, but your emotions say I don't want to do what I have done correctly for 10 years 'cos it might happen again. Not logical, but then emotions are not logical. I have every sympathy.

The one saving grace is that you are in France  

Try a spin along one of the almost empty roads first. Before you know it you will have your confidence back and enjoying yourself.

All the best.

Sue


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## Spacerunner (Mar 18, 2006)

Oh come on! Pull your self together get behind that damned wheel, grit ya teeth and get motoring!!

Says he, with more cracks in the rear skirt that a pair of breakfast boiled eggs and threatens to not only stop driving but giving up motorhoming every time it bloody well happens!!. .

Don,t forget you now have some pretty valuable spares for the door mirror next time it happens :lol: .


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## DTPCHEMICALS (Jul 24, 2006)

`No one hurt, thats the main thing.
Motorhomes, cars, vans, motorcycles are all mendable

Best advice is to sit in the drivers seat and get going again.
Sounds a bit harsh but it works.

Dave p


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## TheColeses (Apr 19, 2011)

Thanks again, all. I have been driving since it happened (even through Antibes in rush hour - in fact that was better than long straight roads as that's where the incident happened - plenty of room for both of us!). I just feel so tense. 
Anyway, a big thumbs up to the Italian Motor Village in Cannes, they fitted us a new mirror without any fuss 
(no spares tho, I'm afraid everything was smashed to bits).
It's very hot down here! 
Mrs Coles


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## suedew (May 10, 2005)

Firstly congratulations on your marriage.

As you have been accident free for 10 years I doubt there is anything wrong with your spacial awareness. Just get into the driving seat, the sooner the better, the longer you put it off the more difficult it will become.

What is it about France and wing mirrors?
Broke ours when I was overtaking a van in roadworks, he pulled out a bit, I swerved to avoid him, and broke the wing mirror on one of those tall orange lights  
Have just been reminded we were in luxemburg. first week of our 57 day trip too.
John has done a great job with gaffer tape and a bathroom mirror, we were fortunate in that the lower mirror was unbroken and we could manage till we did our temporary repair.
Will sort it out when we get home. 
Only 5 days to go, it is raining, we are north of Macon, and finally have free internet  

Sue


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## Penquin (Oct 15, 2007)

Our mirror was broken by a French MH driver - while we were stationary at the right side of the road, tucked into the bank, with elbows tucked in and breathing in hard! :lol:

The problem is not yours, his speed and position were wrong but getting them to admit that.......... _merde, c'est impossible!_ 

You have done the right thing by getting driving again, you will think about it whenever similar situations present themselves, but you did nothing wrong.

The over-riding positive thing is that no-one was hurt physically, yes you have concerns and will remember the angst from the time for a while, as such you will drive more cautiously - which after 10 years of incident free driving would be difficult, but all will gradually resolve into distant, unpleasant memories.

Good luck, and congratulations on your wedding, enjoy the remainder of your honeymoon,

Dave


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## aldra (Jul 2, 2009)

Our mirror was broken by a passing lorry driver whilst it was parked outside just before we took off on holiday, otherwise would have been on the drive  He didn't stop, may not have known he'd done it?)

Anything but a motor home or lorry would have missed the mirror, your drivings a problem when you hit the van oncoming or his if he hits you

Probably not your fault but hey a mirror is a mirror whereas a honeymoon is something special, forget drive and enjoy :love7: 

Aldra


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## rayrecrok (Nov 21, 2008)

Hi.

Funny thing is.. When I am driving Sandra's wheel barrow, a little Seat Arosa, I have trouble gauging the passing room in head on situations and usually end up driving in the gutter to get as much room as possible when passing each other..

I never have this feeling or problem in the van which is half as wide again.. Spooky!.

Ray.


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## moby56 (Sep 16, 2010)

Had the same Problem in Scotland last Sunday a nice German decided he liked my side of the road better and £380 and 2 days later all is well it does knock your confidence even when not in wrong but as others have said you will get over it and start enjoying yourself again best thing to do is just drive
mo Byrne


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