# A job with the Local Council



## rayrecrok (Nov 21, 2008)

Hi.

A guy goes to the Local Council to apply for a job.

The interviewer asks him, 'Are you allergic to anything?'

He answers 'Yes - caffeine'

'Have you ever been in the services?'

'Yes,' he says. 'I was in Iraq for two years.'

The interviewer says, 'That will give you 5 extra points toward employment’, and then asks, 'Are you disabled in any way?

The guy says, 'Yes 100%... a bomb exploded near me and blew my testicles off.'

The interviewer tells the guy, 'O.K. In that case, I can hire you right now. Normal hours are from 8AM to 2PM.

You can start tomorrow at 10:00 - and plan on starting at 10AM every day.'

The guy is puzzled and says, 'If the hours are from 8AM to 2PM, why don't you want me to be here before 10 AM?'


'This is a council job,' the interviewer says. 'For the first two hours we just stand around drinking coffee and scratching our balls.

No point in you coming in for that.'


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## GEOMAR (Mar 16, 2008)

*council job*

How true that is


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## ChrisandJohn (Feb 3, 2008)

*Re: council job*



GEOMAR said:


> How true that is


Not true in my experience.

I worked for the council and started work at 8 a.m. (7.30 a.m. if I slept in the night before). As we were mostly female there was definitely no ball scratching. Coffee and tea were drunk, and meals eaten, whilst on duty, which went on until 3.30 p.m. on an early shift.

Chris


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## patman (Jan 1, 2007)

This is the joke section, please moan on another page.


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## thePassants (Feb 9, 2009)

From what I've heard, it's not true of Manchester City Council either:

They're all on flexi, so go in when they like;
Scratch each other's backs;
-and only drink fairtrade fruit teas.


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## patman (Jan 1, 2007)

Unusual username, the peasants.


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## Zebedee (Oct 3, 2007)

patman said:


> Unusual username, the peasants.


No more so than petman! :lol: :lol:


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## thePassants (Feb 9, 2009)

patman said:


> Unusual username, the peasants.


Mmmm. Patman two-hat and his black and white humour.


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## sweetie (Nov 28, 2005)

Here we go again :!: What is all this about peoples user names :roll:


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## Stanner (Aug 17, 2006)

Strange how everyone moans like heck when they don't go in to scratch their balls each others backs whatever and drink their tea and coffee.

That's then holding the country to ransom............... can't have it both ways.


Q How many people work at Tesco?

A About half of them.


(I know it's true I've worked there - on contract)


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## Stanner (Aug 17, 2006)

sweetie said:


> Here we go again :!: What is all this about peoples user names :roll:


I wouldn't go there if I were you or they'll be changing one of your "E"s to an "A".


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## patman (Jan 1, 2007)

Zebedee said:


> patman said:
> 
> 
> > Unusual username, the peasants.
> ...


I have a large stomach, I was going to call myself potman.


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## teemyob (Nov 22, 2005)

*Re: council job*



ChrisandJohn said:


> GEOMAR said:
> 
> 
> > How true that is
> ...


Very true in my experience

Earlier this year as I was getting out of my van, I noticed some workmen (Bolton council) Planting 5 trees on the corner of a street, patch of grass.

There were 7 men*, a crane and about five vans.

One man was leaning on crane,
One was manning crane
One was standing on a spade
One was sat on a bench
Two were lay on grass sunbathing
and the other was actually working

I said to the customer who's home I was attending (also a Council worker). "they are making a meal of that are they not?"

Oh that's nothing she said as she laughed, this is day two! 
:lol:

God knows how many other workers were involved in the red tape, planning, costing, H&S, H&S for the H&S and all the rest of the paperwork.

It was for these reasons we all found the "Joke" hilarious

TM

* E&OE, not sure what they were drinking be it Tea, Fruit Tea, Coffee or similar but most had mugs. All being Paid for other Mugs, who get Mugged in the form of Direct and Local Taxation.


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## rayrecrok (Nov 21, 2008)

*Re: council job*



teemyob said:


> ChrisandJohn said:
> 
> 
> > GEOMAR said:
> ...


Teemyob wrote, *It was for these reasons we all found the "Joke" hilarious *

I had quite forgot it was a joke I posted, methinks we all need to get out more!. :lol:


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## teemyob (Nov 22, 2005)

*Re: council job*



rayrecrok said:


> teemyob said:
> 
> 
> > ChrisandJohn said:
> ...


Tears

:lol:  :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

Happy Christmas Ray


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## tonyt (May 25, 2005)

Stanner said:


> Q How many people work at Tesco?
> 
> A About half of them.


Oooooooo, I like it though I doubt the figure is that high


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## teemyob (Nov 22, 2005)

*Re: council job*



rayrecrok said:


> teemyob said:
> 
> 
> > ChrisandJohn said:
> ...


Oh well soon be Winter Solstice, will give them a bit more daylight! :wink:


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## MalanCris (Apr 2, 2007)

What is white and Orange and sleeps three?

A Middlesbrough Council van :lol:


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