# Nursery Rhymes - Updated



## AndrewandShirley (Oct 13, 2007)

Nursery Rhymes won't die out if we keep them updated.

Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall
The structure of the wall was incorrect
So he won a grand with Claims Direct.

It's Raining, It's Pouring
No doubt, it's Global Warming.

Jack and Jill went into town
To fetch some chips and sweeties.
He can't keep his heart rate down
And she's got diabetes.

Mary had a little lamb
Her father shot it dead.
Now it goes to school with her
Between two chunks of bread.

Mary had a little lamb
It ran into a pylon.
10,000 volts went up its @rse
And turned its wool to nylon.

Georgie Porgie Pudding and Pie
Kissed the girls and made them cry..
When the boys came out to play
He kissed them too cos he was gay.

Jack and Jill
Went up the hill
To have a little fun.
Jill , the dill,
Forgot her pill,
And now they have a son.

Jack and Jill
Went up the hill
And planned to do some kissing.
Jack made a pass
And grabbed her ass
Now two of his teeth are missing.

Mary had a little lamb
Its fleece was white and wispy.
Then it caught Foot and Mouth Disease
And now it's black and crispy.


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## CliveMott (Mar 10, 2008)

There once was a man from Gent


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## parkmoy (Jul 4, 2007)

> There once was a man from Gent


Whose nose was all twisted and bent


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## waz (Jan 5, 2008)

parkmoy said:


> > There once was a man from Gent
> 
> 
> Whose nose was all twisted and bent


in search of a motorhome he went


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## solly (May 1, 2005)

and ended up with tent


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## kaybee327 (Dec 22, 2006)

And another

Mary had a little lamb
She also had a bear
I've often seen her little lamb
And often seen her bare


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## suffolkian (Jul 25, 2007)

*NOT PC so don't look*

There was a young gay from Khartoum
Who took a lesbian up to his room
They spent half the night
Deciding who had the right
To do what, and where and to whom


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