# The 3 secrets of Happiness; Motorhoming, No Facebook, Marriage



## Brock (Jun 14, 2005)

Well, according to my interpretation of a recent Harvard psychiatrist quoted in the Independent.

The three secrets are

1. Close relationships - motorhoming/rallying is just what the psychiatrist would recommend if he knew it existed.

2. Quality of friendships, not quantity - so that rules out Facebook and similar social media. Might even rule out Fun but not Facts.

3. Stable & supportive marriages. Not sure what these are but I think most of us are only allowed one at a time. Psychiatrists have been saying for many years that a stable marriage lowers the risk of mild cognitive impairment and dementia and is critical to our health & well-being - apparently it's the vows that elevate the relationship. Not sure whether these psychiatrists live in our world although this one at least says you are more likely to be happy being single than being in a bad marriage.

Off now to buy some flowers and choccies for my missus before demanding she makes me happy.


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## Mrplodd (Mar 4, 2008)

Well for my money the expert has got it pretty much spot on !!!

I can happily "tick" all three.

I would have thought that the lack of financial worries would also feature, but WTF do I know ???

Andy


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## suedew (May 10, 2005)

Prefer a stable and supportive relationship to an unstable and unsupportive marriage.
do not think marriage is the important factor, more a mutual commitment to each other, my friends on face book are all known to me, the majority live quite some distance away FB can be great way to keep in touch.
Sue


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## aldra (Jul 2, 2009)

Haven't a clue
Except a bad marriage must be a nightmare

Don't think I'd need a psychiatrist to tell me that 

Ive realised that after 50+ yrs

There is nothing closer

To live that close without love and understanding 

Doesn't come near to living in hell

Sandra


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## Jmdarr (Oct 9, 2013)

42 years and counting you don't get there in a bad marriage.


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## havingfun (Oct 31, 2007)

hi,

well i,ve tried all three, bad marriage, unhappiness, single 15 years, and very happy, and content, it wasent perfect, but to be in charge of your own happiness, and not able to blame anybody else, and now 34 years with bernard, he nags ,moans grumps s, and generally can be a pain, but he would carry me to the ends of the earth if he had to, he loves my kids more than i do, and i,m sure if they had to chose he would come first......

when we talk to other people about living in a tin box for 300 nights a year they think we are crazy, and friends are people i care for, some for 50 plus years, not like somebody said to me, i,ve got 1034 friends, i said i dont know 34 people.

i dont need much money, as long as we are warm and fed i,m happy, never could see the point of shopping.........think that comes from when i was on my own.

mags


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## siggie (Oct 2, 2010)

Brock said:


> 2. Quality of friendships, not quantity - so that rules out Facebook and similar social media.


I love comments like these from the anti-Facebook people. They have obviously never used it, or they have but not used it in the way they should to get what THEY want from it.

I have family and friends all over the world, all my FB friends (in the 10's, not the 100's or 1,000's) are family and real friends. I set it up so only my FB friends can see what I post and if one of them is prone to posting a lot of rubbish then I 'unfollow' them. that way I don't get to see everything they post but we are still friends, so I can look at what they are up to, see their photos, etc, when I want to, and they can see what I post (unless they think I post rubbish and have unfollowed me  ). But more importantly I can keep in contact with them easily. I have also set up a secret group so that immediate family and the closest friends can also see exactly where we are and follow our travels and adventures easily. Only those that I invite even know the group exists, no-one else on FB can see it or its content.

My mother was an ardent anti-FB person, refusing to even think about setting up an account to see what we were up to when living overseas. Now we are travelling all over the world she kept asking for us to email her photos. I told her that our photos are on FB and she could see them there - eventually she gave in and let me set up an account for her so she could see what we are up to - she is now on FB nearly every day 

So come on you anti-FB people, either get over your fears about social media and give it a try, set it up and use it the way YOU want to and stop slagging it off when you don't know what you are talking about >


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## Pudsey_Bear (Sep 25, 2008)

They say "happy wife = happy life" not sure of the validity of that if you can't tell her when she's wrong etc, surely that could make you resentful, especially if she's one of those people who cannot admit to being wrong.


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## patp (Apr 30, 2007)

44 years and counting. Don't know what I would do without him.


As to facebook. I can take it or leave it. Our daughter rarely uses it so we still use the telephone to keep in touch. Rest of our relatives we are not that close to or they do not use Facebook to communicate. I think that sometimes it can make you unhappy as you see all the adventures and exciting lives that others live which you, for whatever reason, may not be able to aspire to.


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## tugboat (Sep 14, 2013)

havingfun said:


> hi,
> 
> i dont need much money, as long as we are warm and fed i,m happy, never could see the point of shopping.........think that comes from when i was on my own.
> 
> mags


You sound like the perfect partner!

I have had lovely mutually supportive relationships with 2 partners, both Westies.

Women, I didn't choose so well, unfortunately.


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## Pudsey_Bear (Sep 25, 2008)

tugboat said:


> You sound like the perfect partner!
> 
> I have had lovely mutually supportive relationships with 2 partners, both Westies.
> 
> Women, I didn't choose so well, unfortunately.


Nah not having that Tuggs, you seem like an intelligent, likable bloke, so maybe they chose badly and were looking for the wrong things in a man.

:kiss::kiss::grin2:>


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## listerdiesel (Aug 3, 2012)

45 years on and nothing I'd change.

Facebook is fine if you keep it to close family and friends, and exclude those that forever want to share someone else's picture or post rather than post their own. If I wanted that I'd go looking myself!

Nobody is perfect, but most successful marriages are based on stable relationships with trust and understanding between the couple.

Peter


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## tugboat (Sep 14, 2013)

Kev_n_Liz said:


> Nah not having that Tuggs, you seem like an intelligent, likable bloke, so maybe they chose badly and were looking for the wrong things in a man.
> 
> :kiss::kiss::grin2:>


You on the toot again, Kev? You must be if you think I'm inter interli smart. My track record with women says otherwise!


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## Pudsey_Bear (Sep 25, 2008)

tugboat said:


> You on the toot again, Kev? You must be if you think I'm inter interli smart. My track record with women says otherwise!


I keep trying to be nice to you and all you do is chuck it back at me, shan't bother you again.


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## nicholsong (May 26, 2009)

For long-distance communication we prefer to use Skype because it is visual and two-way communication. It is ideal for keeping in touch with Basia's Son in Queensland and her Sister in Turkey.

Her Mother does not have it but she is here in Katowice and can use it when she stays for the w/e to talk to Turkey and Oz.

We also use it from the MH, but we are lucky to have free calls 3Gb of data per month.

Of course not everyone has Skype installed, but our family do and a lot of our friends, most of whom are in foreign countries.

For photos we use e-mail attachments.

Geoff


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## Pudsey_Bear (Sep 25, 2008)

I'm just getting into Whatsapp, very useful and phone based so you could be anywhere in the world (I think) so long as you have wifi, and the call recipient has too, you can chat, message or even send pictures etc.

For android
https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.whatsapp

For fruity and other types
https://www.whatsapp.com/download/


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## siggie (Oct 2, 2010)

nicholsong said:


> For long-distance communication we prefer to use Skype because it is visual and two-way communication.


I don't think you got the gist of my post - I use FB as you can post a lot of pictures (in different albums) that all your family and friends can look at if they want, my secret travels group has a map, which I update as often as I can (almost daily when on the move), I can see what my friends and family are up too, I can send quick text messages to them, or receive from them, etc, etc. I also belong to a few other special interest groups where I can stay up to date with the latest happenings and events, and also stay in touch with a much wider circle of ex-colleagues.

But, I also use Skype, in place of a phone, when we have a suitable Internet connection, although you can also do voice calls through FB (although I've never tried it).


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## Brock (Jun 14, 2005)

Ah, Siggie, I use Facebook; it's good for keeping in touch. Face to face friendships will be much closer than those through social media.


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## aldra (Jul 2, 2009)

Well even I use Face time

Well my granddaughter does

It's lovely to talk to her face to face

She rings books FaceTime with us

And she is loving Switzerland 

Aldra


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## -747 (Jan 20, 2016)

Kev_n_Liz said:


> I keep trying to be nice to you and all you do is chuck it back at me, shan't bother you again.


Oooooh! Ark at her!


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## Pudsey_Bear (Sep 25, 2008)

-747 said:


> Oooooh! Ark at her!


I'm hurt, wounded I tell yer.

if yer going, go.


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## aldra (Jul 2, 2009)

Well

I love Albert 

50+ years

But I listen to my grandkids

They talk to us

Is that unusual?

And the truth is our idea of what is important 

Doesn't really mean the same

For us it will
And I'll keep in with this guy 50 + years

And I have a sneaking suspicion
That those kids
Are thinking it just might be

Well they are around staying talking with granddad

And yes the idea that grandma is cooking, up early to see them off wherever with a packed lunch

Counts

Aldra


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