# Questions and Answers given to GCSE Paper's?



## johnsandywhite (May 9, 2005)

8O The following questions were set in last year's GCSE examinations in 
Swindon. These are genuine responses (from 16 year olds).

Geography 
Q: Name the four seasons. 
A: Salt, pepper, mustard, and vinegar.

Q: Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to 
drink. 
A: Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large pollutantlike grit, sand, dead sheep, and canoeists.

Q: How is dew formed? 
A: The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire.

Q: What causes the tides in the oceans? 
A: The tides are a fight between the Earth and the Moon. All water 
tends to flow towards the moon, because there is no water on the moon, and nature abhors a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins in this fight.

Sociology 
Q: What guarantees may a mortgage company insist on? 
A: If you are buying a house, they will insist you are well endowed.

Q: In a democratic society, how important are elections? 
A: Very important. Sex can only happen when a male gets an election.

Q: What are steroids? 
A: Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs.

Biology 
Q: What happens to your body as you age? 
A: When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental.

Q: What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty? 
A: He says goodbye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery.

Q: Name a major disease associated with cigarettes. 
A: Premature death.

Q: What is artificial insemination? 
A: When the farmer does it to the bull instead of the cow.

Q: How can you delay milk turning sour? 
A: Keep it in the cow. [He got an A]

Q: How are the main parts of the body categorised? (e.g. abdomen) 
A: The body is consisted into three parts - the brainium, the borax 
the abdominal cavity. The brainium contains the brain, the borax contains the heart and lungs, and the abdominal cavity contains the five bowels, A, E, O U, and I.

Q: What is the Fibula? 
A: A small lie.

Q: What does "varicose" mean? 
A: Nearby.

Q: What is the most common form of birth control? 
A: Most people prevent contraception by wearing a condominium.

Q: Give the meaning of the term "Caesarean Section." 
A: The caesarean section is a district in Rome.

Q: What is a seizure? 
A: A Roman emperor.

Q: What is a terminal illness? 
A: When you are sick at the airport

Q: Give an example of a fungus. What is a characteristic feature? 
A: Mushrooms. They always grow in damp places and they look like 
umbrellas.

English 
Q: Use the word "judicious" in a sentence to show you understand its 
meaning. 
A: Hands that judicious can be soft as your face.

Q: What does the word "benign" mean? 
A: Benign is what you will be after you be eight.

Technology 
Q: What is a turbine? 
A: Something an Arab or Sheik wears on his head


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## 88751 (May 9, 2005)

Well that one brightened Monday!

Ian


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## 88741 (May 9, 2005)

Absolutely brilliant, love the one about the cow and milk, if only it was that easy :lol:


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## 88724 (May 9, 2005)

Hi

I dont think they are all real, but who cares, absolutely brilliant.


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## bigfoot (May 16, 2005)

What comes between fear and sex?

Funmf (5)


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## johnsandywhite (May 9, 2005)

:? Then what about these George?

Q: Using Boolean Subtraction and Euclidion Geometry, find the equation of the line where these two planes intersect:
A: No.

Q: Why do golf balls have dimples?
A: Because they keep getting hit by bats.

[Golf balls have dimples to turbulate the low-energy laminar boundary layer of air that usually detaches from the surface of the golf ball and makes a huge, wide and messy turbulent wake down-wind of the ball. The dimples destroy the smooth laminar flow and cause it to become a higher-energy turbulent flow that sticks to the ball. The turbulent wake that sticks to the ball downwind now resembles the trailing edge of a wing and yields lower aerodynamic drag. So for a small increase in form, frictional viscous drag, there is a huge saving in pressure drag giving an over-all energy saving and allowing the ball to maintain its forward speed and travelling further.] Cameron T.

Q: What is a light-year?
A: Too far to walk.
A: Not enough to get P*****


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