# Oh what a night



## aldra (Jul 2, 2009)

Our grandson , on school holiday ,arrived complete with bags to stay the night 

Ok we did said anytime :frown2:

Our son asked if he and his daughter could stay the night

Forgot to say he would be trick or treating and I cooked a chicken dinner but he wasn’t here to eat it :frown2:

Arrived at 7.30 with a granddaughter covered in makeup , so I dunked her in the bath , she has school tomorrow and a vampire prob isn’t appropriate >

Not a problem young Albert and his mum arrived unexpectedly and ate in their place:grin2:

Megs is dying with some unknown illness at least she was before she went out with her friends ,and again when she got back 
I think it may be called a cold, but what do I know ?:wink2:

The peace of retirement :grin2:

Sandra


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## barryd (May 9, 2008)

You love it!


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## patp (Apr 30, 2007)

How I wish we had a family like yours when I was growing up  I couldn't cope now though!


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## raynipper (Aug 4, 2008)

Get away again in the van Sandra.
I have too many callers normally so can do without family dropping in unexpectedly. Apart from that they all seem about as busy as us.!!

Ray.


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## aldra (Jul 2, 2009)

Wouldn’t dream of it Ray 

Of all the people who drop in , family remain important 

Easy, no need to put on any airs and graces

If I’m in my pyjamas , then that’s how it is 

They are not obliged to come, I’m not obliged to cook for for them 

They just pass through, and one day maybe they won’t 

But until then it’s an open house, a place they all can come, the grandkids to be spoiled, I have the time to spoil them.

And they will move on to adulthood , and we will see less of them , maybe 

But even the older grandkids drop in from time to time 

And expect time to have stood still 

They need that touch of belonging, the right to stay overnight , a breakfast cooked 

And although we know nothing 

We know everything 
Sandra


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## aldra (Jul 2, 2009)

Spoke too soon 

Quiet by 3pm ,all gone apart from winston the hound we baby sit, and he’d gone by 6 

two grandkids arrived , ful of life , just passing through , to say hello and gone

And now I’m tired and off to bed to read a while and then sleep 

Remember my clocks haven’t gone back

It’s nine o’clock by my time 

Sandra


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## aldra (Jul 2, 2009)

Well every thing in my “perfect family “ isnt perfect

Of course I’ve never said it was, some have felt irritated , and felt I have 

But believe me I haven’t 

I’ve a daughter who suffers from depression, a grandson who hated school , and refused to engage, although fingers crossed he seems to be engaging in college 

A granddaughter who has lived here for a year and just completed her Ms Law degree

Apparently it didn’t teach her to wash all her pots or her clothes 

But hey she’s got a job in a law firm in south Manchester , and her mums twin sister has invited her to stay with them as it’s not too far for her to travel 

Good luck there Simone 

But she’s young enough to engage and set rules, a school teacher , she will set the next stage of megs journey

Don’t you just love big families ?

Our youngest is going through a separation 

They have an adopited child

Alcohol damaged at birth and they both adore her, her behaviour can be inappropriate 

Sometimes she seems beyond her years , but she doesn’t really pick up nuances of right and wrong behaviour easily 

And we’re caught between the two, the daughter in law that was a daughter , and who may longer wish to be 

The son who’s hurt, and the granddaughter who is ours, and for all her difficulty part of this wider family 

So take heart all who think I try portray a perfect family, I don’t 

And there is always an ignore button 

But just maybe it sounds just like your family 

In which case watch this space 

We will help sort as we always have and always will until we are unable to

Our granddaughter will know she is loved and an important part of this family

One day she will know her grandmother belonged to no one , until she too was “adopted “by her grandad 

So she’s not new but a continuation of the past

By that time , hopefully we will have taught them to sort it themselves 

Sandra


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## aldra (Jul 2, 2009)

So things will be different for a while

Our youngest will spend a couple of nights a week here with our Izzy

He moved to a flat in south Manchester a long way to his work and to pick up and return his daughter , especially mid week when she has school next day 

And for a while rejected our help 

When the house sale goes through he’ll buy nearer to Bury and his X wife and daughter 

And we see little of Gill, at least during this period , but things will settle and it’s important we remain in touch with the mother of our grandchild 
And life will go on

Young Albert has collected logs from the cemetery with Albert, will cut them for the fire later 

He’s helping Albert to replace the underlay in our bedroom, the carpet, pure wool is fine, the underlay is beginning to perish 

Megs will stay with her auntie and return at weekends, maybe newly trained , but I’m not holding my breath on that one 

And life goes on 

Our grandson will return from a day out at Blackpool to stay tonight here as he’s still on holiday till Tuesday , and his parents are working tomorrow 

And I’ve cooked the meal, alberts taken over ,

I’m relaxing with a glass of wine

And I’ve cooked belly pork on a bed of apple and onions

Roast sweet potatoes and parsnips

Baby new potatoes, spinach, caulifower carrots and swede 

I love my veg, albert loves his meat

Perfect

Sandra


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## aldra (Jul 2, 2009)

A busy day

Young Albert not at college today and between Albert and him have managed to replace all the underlay under the bedroom carpet 

Just need now to refix thecarpet to the grippers, but first we will shampoo it , seal of the edges below the skirting boards 

Had to break off to take megs and her luggage to south Manchester, her first job in Law starts Wed , but she’s in excellent hands with her mums twin sister 

Our grandson who stayed last night had to do a family tree for homework, thank goodness my side was empty, he didn’t manage to finish it ,poor kid, it goes on for ever 

The Christmas adverts have me thinking about Christmas prep , we will have a minimum of 14, Peter an excellent cook will be here C eve and says he will help 

I so wish he wouldn’t be , I’d rather he was at home with Gill and Issy, but we can’t turn back the clock and they’ve made their decision 

So he and Izzy will be here for Christmas dinner 

And I know it’s a lot of work, but Albert and I will, hopefully still me here , and five years ago I really thought we wouldn’t have another family Christmas together 

And for us Christmas has always been about family, not the extra trappings , but centred in the home, the Christmas trees, the shared meal 

And friends are important, but Christmas Day is family 

And of course shadow, who adores them all 

Sandra


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## aldra (Jul 2, 2009)

A blip tonight

Gill our soon to be X daughter in law arrived with Issy to collect some videos 

In passing she mentioned that some of Izzy’s clothes had been returned unwashed 


I pointed out that she had come from school on Friday and left early Sat, and I wasn’t sure that she didn’t need them on Monday 

And I’d have been pleased to wash them , but not in that narrow timescale 

But suggested she could decide on clothing that could be left here 

She was more concerned that was peters problem 

I felt upset, for over 12 yrs Issay has come here whenever the two of them wanted a night out, her parents won’t have her as apparently she’s out of control with them

Here no problem 

And I’ve always washed her clothes , except if I felt they needed them in a hurry , but no pressure either way 

And I can’t wash school uniforms over night unless I know they have spare ones 

It’s almost like she’s saying that if Peter brings her here then she expects every thing to be washed regardless of timescale 

But what about me her grandma, is she no longer coming here because she always has , and we want her ?

Haven’t sorted it out in my mind yet, I’m hurt confused, I don’t want to take sides with Izzy in the middle 

I have a son, a daughter in law and a grandchild 

I’m not getting divorced , or maybe I am 

Sandra


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## HermanHymer (Dec 5, 2008)

aldra said:


> A blip tonight
> 
> I have a son, a daughter in law and a grandchild
> 
> ...


Sadly that's often the case - when 'they' chuck in the towel, the Mum/gran have to change their relationship with the divorced party. Sometimes they even have to bear the brunt of the unpleasantness - it splatters everywhere like the proverbial in the fan. Sandra, I hope it doesn't and common sense and respect prevail!:frown2:


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## jiwawa (Jun 22, 2007)

aldra said:


> I'm not getting divorced , or maybe I am
> 
> Sandra


I think you hit the nail on the head with that statement Sandra.

Unfortunately you have no say in the decision but you and yours are certainly going to be affected.

And everybody is hurting.


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## raynipper (Aug 4, 2008)

Yep and it buggers up Christmas a treat.!!

Ray.


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## aldra (Jul 2, 2009)

We’ll see, thinking about it after she’d gone I thought she looked very tired, she’s 12 yrs older than our son 

I wonder if she thinks we are helping out Peter with Izzy and not her 

Must make sure she knows I’ll have Izzy anytime if she wants to go out with friends

Maybe she thinks I’m divorcing her 

They have never spent Christmas Day here as she is an only child and her parents who are getting on go to them

So it will be peter and Izzy’s first Christmas Day here, unless arrangements change between now and then 

Sandra


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## patp (Apr 30, 2007)

Sorry to hear you had to take the brunt of your dil's frustration Sandra. I don't have any words of wisdom to offer other than that it sounded as though you gave the right response to her at the time. Lets hope that Issy doesn't get caught in the cross fire. You will be her safe haven.


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## aldra (Jul 2, 2009)

Well a phone call to my D in Law 

To remind her that she has been my “daughter “ for 18 years 

And that I I’m not part of the divorce proceedings 

I’ll have Izzy anytime she needs a break or has an outing 

Exactly the same as I will for our son 

At the moment he stays here when he has Izzy but only because he lives in south Manchester and it’s a long way to get Izzy to school, when the house is sold he’ll by local 

And bingo she asked it we would look after Izzy one day at the end of Nov , it’s a school day , so peter is prob working a late shift , or maybe he like her is jostling to set down rules

So Izzy will come from school as she does , and Albert will walk her to school the next day, or drive her depending on the weather 

And it’s not perfect , but life rarely is 

So we do the best we can 

Sandra


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## patp (Apr 30, 2007)

Well done you!


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## aldra (Jul 2, 2009)

I dont let go easily of those who are my family or friends 

If they want to let me go then I’ll be the first to let them 

A legacy of my childhood 

Ive kept hold of Megs dad for 24 yrs, and he didn’t even marry her mum 

But he’s special to megs and us, adores his daughter,and so he should 

Although her mum doesn’t really agree ,she understands that megs remains her dads daughter 

Funny things families 

Sandra


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## aldra (Jul 2, 2009)

Well maybe my well intentions were not the best 

He’s upset , Gill says he can’t have her on a Sunday because she has school next day 

Even if she stays here a short hop to the school 

She’s bypassing us, although we can have her on a Tuesday before school for her

So possibally a move to make her the primary career , rather than a shared carer 

But at least now he is getting a solicitor, which he’s refused to do so far 

They will work it out , he said

She with a solicitor he thinking that they are going 50/50 

But he adores his daughter and thinks that it is a reason to think all will go well 

I’m not sure

Sandra


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