# Its only a joke



## twinky

An illegal immigrant arrives in Britain and finds an old lamp. 

When he rubs the lamp a genie appears and grants him 3 wishes. 

'Im hungry after my journey' he says 'I should like food'. 

In a flash a great table appeared full of the most sumptuous banquet. 

'Then I want a nice house like an English gentleman'. 

Again a flash and there appeared a magnificent Georgian manor house. 

'I now want to be just like the British people I have seen on TV'. 

Again a flash and this time everything disappears. 

'Hey what as happened to my things' cries the man. 

The genie shouts ' If youre British you'll get f**k all pal'


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## ChrisandJohn

No it isn't. It's perpetuating a lie.

Chris


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## greenasthegrass

It was in the joke section if you don't like it don't read it!


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## ChrisandJohn

greenasthegrass said:


> It was in the joke section if you don't like it don't read it!


So it is OK to perpetuate racist myths as long as they are put in the joke section? 8O

Also, if I don't like racist myths being perpetuated does it mean I can't appreciate any joke? 

Chris


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## greenasthegrass

No but you are really keen on causing trouble on this forum and expressing your opinion at every post which is getting rather tedious!


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## teemyob

*Racism*



ChrisandJohn said:


> greenasthegrass said:
> 
> 
> 
> It was in the joke section if you don't like it don't read it!
> 
> 
> 
> So it is OK to perpetuate racist myths as long as they are put in the joke section? 8O
> 
> Also, if I don't like racist myths being perpetuated does it mean I can't appreciate any joke?
> 
> Chris
Click to expand...

Firstly, I cannot find any Racism in the initial post.

Secondly, it happens to be true. I know from first hand experience. (the moral of the tale/joke, not the genie I hope you will appreciate)

Lastly, if you dont like it, pretty much tough luck.


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## ChrisandJohn

greenasthegrass said:


> No but you are really keen on causing trouble on this forum and expressing your opinion at every post which is getting rather tedious!


It's not my intention to cause trouble and I'm sorry if you find my opinions tedious. I think some postings on here shouldn't be allowed to pass unchallenged. I am very happy when I find others challenging them and I often then don't post.

Chris


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## GEMMY

:roll: :roll: :roll: :roll: :roll: :roll: :roll: :roll: :roll: :roll: :roll: 

tony


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## ChrisandJohn

*Re: Racism*



teemyob said:


> ChrisandJohn said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> greenasthegrass said:
> 
> 
> 
> It was in the joke section if you don't like it don't read it!
> 
> 
> 
> So it is OK to perpetuate racist myths as long as they are put in the joke section? 8O
> 
> Also, if I don't like racist myths being perpetuated does it mean I can't appreciate any joke?
> 
> Chris
> 
> Click to expand...
> 
> Firstly, I cannot find any Racism in the initial post.
> 
> Secondly, it happens to be true. I know from first hand experience. (the moral of the tale/joke, not the genie I hope you will appreciate)
> 
> Lastly, if you dont like it, pretty much tough luck.
Click to expand...

The message the 'joke' seems to be putting across is that if you are an illegal immigrant you'll get loads of benefits but if you are British you won't. Both parts of this message are untrue so the joke seems to be designed to stir up resentment.

Chris


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## greenasthegrass

> I often then don't post


Thank chuff for that!


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## carolgavin

*Re: Racism*



ChrisandJohn said:


> teemyob said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> ChrisandJohn said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> greenasthegrass said:
> 
> 
> 
> It was in the joke section if you don't like it don't read it!
> 
> 
> 
> So it is OK to perpetuate racist myths as long as they are put in the joke section? 8O
> 
> Also, if I don't like racist myths being perpetuated does it mean I can't appreciate any joke?
> 
> Chris
> 
> Click to expand...
> 
> Firstly, I cannot find any Racism in the initial post.
> 
> Secondly, it happens to be true. I know from first hand experience. (the moral of the tale/joke, not the genie I hope you will appreciate)
> 
> Lastly, if you dont like it, pretty much tough luck.
> 
> Click to expand...
> 
> The message the 'joke' seems to be putting across is that if you are an illegal immigrant you'll get loads of benefits but if you are British you won't. Both parts of this message are untrue so the joke seems to be designed to stir up resentment.
> 
> Chris
Click to expand...

Erm its a joke! It isnt trying to put across any message its supposed to be funny, you know ha ha ha hee hee hee titter titter snigger!!!!
The only person resenting the joke seems to be yourself, cos it offends you because in your experience its untrue, others with vastly different experience may recognise a teeny glimmer of truth in there! Rightly or wrongly!


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## wozzy

Back to the Joke's Folks...............

I was out walking the other day when I was aproched by a man with outstreached hand he said he'd not had a bite for 3 days............



So I bit him....... :0)


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## 105109

*Re: Racism*

[quote="carolgavin
Erm its a joke! It isnt trying to put across any message its supposed to be funny, you know ha ha ha hee hee hee titter titter snigger!!!!
The only person resenting the joke seems to be yourself, cos it offends you because in your experience its untrue, others with vastly different experience may recognise a teeny glimmer of truth in there! Rightly or wrongly![/quote]

Thank goodness for some sanity, I agree totally with you Carol.

Jacobite


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## toojo

Is there no humour left.First it was nursrey rhymes BaBa blacksheep,3 blind mice,now it seems you cant tell a joke if you mention a minority group.There have been Irish,who Scottish,English jokes forever,who cares.If you dont like jokes dont look at the post.
John.


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## bonnieboo

Man walked into a pet shop and said he would like a pet for his elderly mum.
The owner said " how about a dog" the man said no because she wouldnt be able to walk it.
The owner said " how about a cat" he said no because she is allergic to cats
The owner said how about a budgie, the man said no because she is afraid of birds.
The owner scratched his head then asked " have you any idea's"
The man said " how about a wasp"
The owner said " we dont sell wasps"
The man said " well thats funny, you had one in the window yesterday"
Ha ha


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## bonnieboo

A man was walking past a high fence and he heard " sixteen, sixteen, sixteen, sixteen " he thought, I wonder what that is. He came across a small hole in the fence and thought he would have a look.
He got poked in the eye and a voice said " seventeen, seventeen, seventeen, seventeen"

Jakki


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## pippin

I am sorry, but the jokes about the wasp and the fence are against PC guidelines.

The wasp is coloured and is an insect that cannot defend itself against the slur.

The fence joke is not gender-inclusive, it might have been a female that looked through the hole.
In fact it might even have been a coloured, one-legged, lesb...........ooooops!


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## bigbazza

Thank goodness for humour.
I'm so pleased I can see the funny side of things without analizing everything in case it might mean something else and give one a guilt complex.

Whilst I'm on, why do we leave out the poor Welshman in the Englishman , Irishman & a Scotsman jokes? Is this descrimination :?:


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## greenasthegrass

cos the welsh are not usually as daft as rest of us! 

Greenie 

PS no am not welsh


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## pippin

Cymru am byth!

At least we have the best National Anthem of the UK.

"My hen laid a haddock high up in a tree"


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## bonnieboo

was it ad-hoc


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## brockley

I have to say that I tend to agree with Chris on this one. It's just like those poor old drug dealers, what terrible bad press they get and for what? In the interests of political correctness I think that they should all be referred to as 'unlicenced pharmacists' -------- Tee hee!


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## twinky

ChrisandJohn said:


> greenasthegrass said:
> 
> 
> 
> It was in the joke section if you don't like it don't read it!
> 
> 
> 
> So it is OK to perpetuate racist myths as long as they are put in the joke section? 8O
> 
> Also, if I don't like racist myths being perpetuated does it mean I can't appreciate any joke?
> 
> Chris
Click to expand...

I do not see a hint of racism in that joke. But then a racist would say that wouldnt he? Like the person who loves ethic minorities.........but wouldnt want one of them to marry their daughter. Eh.. Eh.. know what I mean Chris?

I found it funny and ................I'm guessing the people who agree its funny find it slightly funnier because it DOES have an element of truth in it.

I maybe wrong - maybe someone could tell me.


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## toojo

Oh twinky you better batton down the hatches they will be after you.
John.


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## lifestyle

I am debating,should i report Chris for not laughing or not. :wink: :wink: :roll: :roll: :lol: :lol:


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## Penquin

It is good to see some humorous comments being made which we can all enjoy. Like many I think humour is in the mind of the person reading it, but I do not think it is something to get worked up about.  

We all have different boundaries as to what is acceptable and what not, my boundary will differ from others but does that matter?  

In my view it does not, I can enjoy some jokes but not others, but do not take offence if the joke is not one I appreciate. :lol: 

Similarly if I do not like a programme on TV I do not reach for the phone to start complaining - I reach for the remote to change channel - life is too short to get worked up about such things.  

Live and let live seems to work for me!      

Dave


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## SpeedyDux

It is completely unacceptable in this day and age to make jokes that are offensive to genies. Genies have been on diversity awareness courses and are always sensitive to issues of race, culture and gender. 

SD


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## greenasthegrass

SpeedyDux - that is pure genius!

Am not worked up am as chilled as a lettuce leaf - need a g&t quick though to keep the momentum going.

Greenie :wink:


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## philbre

bigbazza said:


> Thank goodness for humour.
> I'm so pleased I can see the funny side of things without analizing everything in case it might mean something else and give one a guilt complex.
> 
> Whilst I'm on, why do we leave out the poor Welshman in the Englishman , Irishman & a Scotsman jokes? Is this descrimination :?:


Anyone got any good IRISH jokes out there, he he he.........


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## Zebedee

philbre said:


> Anyone got any good IRISH jokes out there, he he he.........









Pendleton is an Irish name isn't it? :lol: :lol:​
Dave


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## GEMMY

Try here,

http://irishjokes.com/

tony :lol: :lol:


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## teemyob

*Funnies*



greenasthegrass said:


> I often then don't post
> 
> 
> 
> Thank chuff for that!
Click to expand...

Well having read the post, replied this off the cuff remark made me laugh, a lot.

Trev.


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## greenasthegrass

Thanks Trev I try my best!

Although seems to have worked! 

Am not against PC brigade but all the time is just too much and is making us English (and I say English because I am English as there are Scots, Welsh and Irish am not British or from United Kingdom I am from England) lose our identity. 

It's about time we all started standing up for ourselves or else the PC brigade will overtake the asylum.

Oooh did I say that out loud - sorry have had a bad day, actually I am not sorry I feel a whole load better now. 

Greenie


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## teemyob

*Joke*

Good!

Peter invites his Mum for tea. She notices his flatmate Joe is very handsome and slightly camp. Although she suspects Peter is gay, he denies anything is going on and says they are just flatmates.

A week goes by and Joe says to Peter, "Ever since your Mam came for tea, I cannot find the frying pan?".

Peter emails his Mum....

Dear Mum Now I am not say you DID take the frying pan and am not saying YOU DID NOT take the frying pan, but it has been missing since the day you came for tea!? Love Peter.

His Mum replies,

Dear Son, Now I am not saying you DO sleep with Joe and I am not saying you DO NOT sleep with Joe. *But, If he slept in his own bed You would have found the bloody frying pan by now! *Love Mum X


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## bigbazza

Oh Oh, your saying the frying pan sleeps around, thats very out of order.
I'm considering reporting this post :!: :!: :!:


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## geraldandannie

ChrisandJohn said:


> So it is OK to perpetuate racist myths as long as they are put in the joke section? 8O


I don't normally comment on race-related jokes. I generally don't find them funny, especially ones like this.

I only comment on here now to say that I think Chris is absolutely correct.

All IMO, of course :wink:

As someone once said - <click>

Gerald


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## greenasthegrass

Glad we got your opinion on that one Gerald we can all sleep tonight :lol: 

Greenie


PS I think that is really frying panist - my pan served me well this morning!


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## ChrisandJohn

greenasthegrass said:


> Glad we got your opinion on that one Gerald we can all sleep tonight :lol:


Well I must admit that I feel slightly less persona non grata, so thank you from me Gerald.

Chris

PS Off to Kent tomorrow and then to France for a week on Tuesday so no more trouble from me


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## greenasthegrass

Have a nice time Chris hope you have a good holiday. :lol: 

Greenie


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## karlb

france nice non-racist country!!

http://www.americanthinker.com/blog/2006/07/french_racism.html

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/europe/4832238.stm


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## robx5

*joke*



ChrisandJohn said:


> greenasthegrass said:
> 
> 
> 
> Glad we got your opinion on that one Gerald we can all sleep tonight :lol:
> 
> 
> 
> Well I must admit that I feel slightly less persona non grata, so thank you from me Gerald.
> 
> Chris
> 
> PS Off to Kent tomorrow and then to France for a week on Tuesday so no more trouble from me
Click to expand...

You could always stop off at calais and bring a couple of the spongers back and you support them if you are that fond of them!


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## ChrisandJohn

greenasthegrass said:


> Have a nice time Chris hope you have a good holiday. :lol:
> 
> Greenie


Thanks Greenie. It'll be our first time abroad in the motorhome, though we've been to France many times before

Chris


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## carolgavin

ChrisandJohn said:


> greenasthegrass said:
> 
> 
> 
> Have a nice time Chris hope you have a good holiday. :lol:
> 
> Greenie
> 
> 
> 
> Thanks Greenie. It'll be our first time abroad in the motorhome, though we've been to France many times before
> 
> Chris
Click to expand...

Never been to French France myself, but one day......................
Have a great trip, not too much vino collapso mind :roll: :roll: :lol: :lol:


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## ChrisandJohn

*Re: joke*



robx5 said:


> You could always stop off at calais and bring a couple of the spongers back and you support them if you are that fond of them!


What does this mean?

Where have I said that I am 'fond of' illegal immigration?

In my view the joke was only funny if you accept that illegal immigrants get loads of benefits and that British people don't. This isn't true and my post was an attempt to point that out.

Ok, I really am off now.

Chris


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## bigfoot

Bon voyage.


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## pippin

One has to remember that all racist (and other) thoughts must have an origin.

They may be based on fact or they may be based on fiction.

They only become a prejudice when the target takes offence at them.

One has to remember that it can take generations for these thoughts or prejudices to disappear.

As a child I heard, and used, expressions like "****** in the woodpile".

Golliwog marmalade/jam was commonplace. 

The Black and White Minstrel Show was one of the highlights of TV. (which was in B&W then!!)

The expressions were never (to my recollection) meant in any derogatory way, they were just expressions that were used innocently.

They remained common currency as we grew into adulthood - still without malice.

I still use them, but generally internalised in thought due to the furore from the PC brigade should they be spoken or written down.

In no way do I condone racist action, but one cannot change the thoughts and opinions of generations overnight - it takes generations!

To take out racist/sexist/genderist/disability/nationalist/whatever humour leaves the world a blander impoverished place.

The world consists of a kaleidescope of different peoples - by not recognising - and yes, sometimes making humour of it, this diversity is wasted.


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## patman

I was walking past the local mosque the other day singing Rhiana's song "umberella" at the top of my voice when everyone joined in singing "Allah Allah Allah". 

A policeman pulls over a scouser in Liverpool who's got a dog in the passenger seat. As he approaches the car the scouser starts hitting the dog on the head. "Why're you hitting the dog" asks the policeman. 
"He's just ate me tax disc" says the scouser.


Patman


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## teemyob

*Re: joke*



ChrisandJohn said:


> robx5 said:
> 
> 
> 
> You could always stop off at calais and bring a couple of the spongers back and you support them if you are that fond of them!
> 
> 
> 
> What does this mean?
> 
> Where have I said that I am 'fond of' illegal immigration?
> 
> In my view the joke was only funny if you accept that illegal immigrants get loads of benefits and that British people don't. This isn't true and my post was an attempt to point that out.
> 
> Ok, I really am off now.
> 
> Chris
Click to expand...

Okay, well have a nice time and don't forget your rose tinted Spectacles.

Happy & Safe Travels,
Trev.

PS If I could be bothered or thought it would do any good then I would give you examples of why the joke does have a large element of truth in it. Or you could pop down to the Post Offices around Manchester & Liverpool!.

Back to Jokes folks


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## DTPCHEMICALS

French not racist  

They block the ports to keep us out, speak a foreign language when we aproach them :evil: :evil: :evil: 


But yes the joke was funny IMHO

Dave P


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