# A New Life in America



## annej (May 27, 2005)

A young woman in Glasgow was so depressed that she decided to end her

life by throwing herself into the Clyde.

She went down to the docks and was about to leap into the freezing

water then a handsome young sailor saw her tottering on the edge of

the pier, crying.

He took pity on her and said, "Look, you have so much to live for.

I'm off to America in the morning, and if you like, I can stow you away

on my ship. It's going to be a long trip, several weeks, but don't

worry I'll take good care of you and bring you food every day."

Moving closer, he slipped his arm round her shoulder and added, "I'll

keep you happy, and you'll keep me happy." The girl nodded.

After all, what did she have to lose? Perhaps a fresh start in America would

give her life new meaning. That night, the sailor brought her aboard

and hid her in a lifeboat.

From then on, every night he brought her three sandwiches and a piece

of fruit, and they made passionate love until dawn.

Two weeks later, during a routine inspection, she was discovered by

the captain. "What are you doing here?" the captain asked.

"I have an arrangement with one of the sailors," she explained. "I get

food every day on the way to America, and he's s***wing me."

"He certainly is hen," the captain said " this is the Renfrew Ferry"

For non Clydesiders http://www.spt.co.uk/ferry/


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## hymmi (May 9, 2005)

Brilliant...................... :lol: :lol: :lol:


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## peejay (May 10, 2005)

Another good one, but slightly flawed, i would have noticed i wasn't on the way to america by the marsbars in batter sandwiches and the constantly crap weather. :roll: :roll: 

Thanks for the entertainment tonight, its been great, so much better than watching the telly, see you 2morrow maybe.

night night annej
night night hymmie
night night johnboy
night night dinkywinky......

:roll: 

pete.


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## Motorhomersimpson (May 9, 2005)

:lol: :lol: :lol: ...nice one Anne :lol: :lol: :lol: 

Yes it's goodnight from him, and goodnight from me, thanks all it's been fun.

MHS..Rob


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## hymmi (May 9, 2005)

I wondered if there was a spare lifeboat,but not if i have to eat battered mars bar sandwiches :? 

nite peejay

Think Homer's gone before we start on him again :lol: :lol: :wink:


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## annej (May 27, 2005)

I have never had a deep fried battered mars bar in my life and I have never met anyone who has :lol: Maybe some of the other Scots on the forum could tell us if this phenomenon actually exists 8O 

Anne


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## hymmi (May 9, 2005)

Anne.

Do you think anyone would dare admit to eating one........................ 8O :wink:


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## annej (May 27, 2005)

Maybe not. But there could be an eejit out there who thinks it's part of a balanced diet :roll: 

Anne


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## Alan1234 (Jul 20, 2005)

*Chuclkes*

Hey what's so funny about that. That's exactly how I got to America., Er, this is America is'nt it?

Alan Poole
(from San Rafael CA)


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## Motorhomersimpson (May 9, 2005)

Anne & hymmi...look here

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/scotland/4103415.stm

Alan1234........ :lol: :lol: :lol:

MHS...Rob


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## annej (May 27, 2005)

Hi Rob, 
8O So it's not an urban myth after all 8O And deep fried Creme Eggs 8O 
I knew about the pizzas, they look disgusting :lol: 

Hi Alan1234, 
The Renfrew Ferry only ever took me to Yoker and back :lol: I think I was short-changed :lol: 

Anne


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## johnsandywhite (May 9, 2005)

:lol: Deep fried Mars bars in batter are Delicious. Although they can cause obesity if you eat too many. 8O


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## annej (May 27, 2005)

I don't believe it JSW :lol: Maybe a poll :lol: 

Anne


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## johnsandywhite (May 9, 2005)

:lol: My 17 stone Son and his 16 stone partner swear they love them. :lol:


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## annej (May 27, 2005)

:lol: Have they tried the Creme Eggs or some sweet delight :lol: 
Now there's an idea. Do any chip shops deep fry Turkish Delights :lol:


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## johnsandywhite (May 9, 2005)

:lol: When Sandy used to work at Cadbury's (long time ago) she used to bring me bags of creme eggs home. They have always been my favourite but I have never had them deep fried. Some chip shops will deep fry just about anything. But only if they have a special fryere just for that process because it spoils the frying oil. :wink: Our Durch Friends love deep fried Bananas in batter. :roll:


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## annej (May 27, 2005)

I have to hold my hand up and confess to Banana Fritters  
A long time ago, but they were about the only dessert in Chinese Restaurants :lol:


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