# If I owned a campsite....



## Delores (Feb 21, 2010)

Just for a bit of fun, what whimsical rules would you have?

After a visit to a gorgeous campsite in Dorset last week I have decided that if I owned a campsite then anyone who is parked in a premium view pisition on the edge of the site MUST at ALL TIMES appreciate the view. If at any time (especailly sunset) they are seen sitting in their van, facing the opposite direction and watching TV then they will be towed to a dark corner of the site where there is no view, thus vacting their space for someone who will appreciate it!


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## blongs (Jan 12, 2009)

Anyone found driving to the toilet block (without a good reason e.g disability) will be moved to the furthest pitch from anywhere preferable up or down a hill and also have any aquarolls clamped so they need to carry water to and fro.


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## Stanner (Aug 17, 2006)

I agree it's a bit like the people who bag a window seat on the plane and then immediately pull the blind down - why don't they just book the centre seat in the middle section if they don't want a view and don't want anybody moving past them.


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## DTPCHEMICALS (Jul 24, 2006)

If I owned a campsite I would have the best view.

Dave p


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## DABurleigh (May 9, 2005)

I would inflate my prices displayed locally, but offer a compensating discount as long as customers smiled and were pleasant.

Dave
Edit: I had this horrible thought of Gordon Brown coming in, reading the sign and trying to smile. Urgggghhhh!!!


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## DTPCHEMICALS (Jul 24, 2006)

Gordon .. smile.. in the same sentence.
He made me smile today.
He said thatt labour would create 2 milion jobs for the long term unemployed.
Look what happened to Kinnock when he promised the same.
Failled leader to multi millionaire.

dave p :lol:


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## Fatalhud (Mar 3, 2006)

Anyone found walking to the showers in there dressing gown would be instantly removed from the site and not allowed to return to there van  

Alan H


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## raynipper (Aug 4, 2008)

I have always had this vision of Peter Butterworth hanging over the five barred gate in Carry on Camping saying "Pound please" to anything and everything.

This has always been my ambition. :lol: 

Ray.


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## 1302 (Apr 4, 2006)

Anyone disturbing the mid afternoon peace and quiet in Aviemore by using a power drill to lower the steadies/legs (rather than manually and quietly use a wheel wrench) would be forced to jog around the site carrying their bulldog until they got their weight down to 15 stone.

The same person drove entire family to toilet block just 50 yards away :roll:


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## ThursdaysChild (Aug 2, 2008)

"Anyone found walking to the showers in there dressing gown would be instantly removed from the site"

Agree entirely. Negligées or nothing !


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## erneboy (Feb 8, 2007)

There are quite a few I would not want to see in a negligent. Mind you I bet they do not want to see me with my shirt off either.

I would ban topless pot bellied men and the thin ones who thin they are gods gift, Alan.


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## Jennifer (Mar 24, 2009)

Delores

Which campsite in Dorset?

I always walk to the showers in the morning in my dressing gown - however, this is usually at 6.30 am and have not as yet every seen anyone else!!!!

Can't wait to see you guys in your see through nities!!!!

Jenny


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## locovan (Oct 17, 2007)

Dogs on leads :lol: :lol: :lol: defo

A large notice on the electric dont have showers running, kettle , boiling. toaster going and fire going all at the same time.
Naming no names but he is a scot and his name begins with H :lol: :lol: :lol:


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## steco1958 (Mar 5, 2009)

ThursdaysChild said:


> "Anyone found walking to the showers in there dressing gown would be instantly removed from the site"
> 
> Agree entirely. Negligées or nothing !


Nothing would be preferable

Steve


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## DABurleigh (May 9, 2005)

locovan said:


> Dogs on leads :lol: :lol: :lol: defo


Under control, certainly, on leads, NEVER! 

Dave


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## CliveMott (Mar 10, 2008)

Scrap all the rules, especially those about which way round you can park. My best sites are those in France where the camp commandant says "park anywhere you like, the loos are there and over there. Have a nice day. That is all I need or want.

C.


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## steco1958 (Mar 5, 2009)

CliveMott said:


> those in France where the camp commandant says "park anywhere you like


The camp commandant !!

Clive

Where do you go ??

Stalag 13 

Steve


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## ThursdaysChild (Aug 2, 2008)

Very provocative, Clive. Very provocative.
Surely you wouldn't advocate the importation of such anarchy onto this sceptred isle ?


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## locovan (Oct 17, 2007)

DABurleigh said:


> locovan said:
> 
> 
> > Dogs on leads :lol: :lol: :lol: defo
> ...


So you knew I was trying to wind you up----gotcha yer :lol: :lol:


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## dinger (Jul 30, 2007)

ThursdaysChild said:


> "Anyone found walking to the showers in there dressing gown would be instantly removed from the site"
> 
> Agree entirely. Negligées or nothing !


Well my introduction to the camsite way of life was by way of 
miss Barbara Winsdor carrying out her early morning excercise

........" in one two three .......out one two three ".......PING... 8O

That magical moment as a 12 year old sitting in the Odeon thinking
oh my god.....


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## Spacerunner (Mar 18, 2006)

I was going to say ban all people who leave their waste water valves open on site.

But then i thought that would upset too many rally marshalls! :lol: :lol:


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## jimmyd0g (Oct 22, 2009)

...there would be no excessively steep access driveways down to the pitches (are you listening, otherwise perfectly satisfactory site near Caernarfon town centre?). Fine on the way down, but not so so good when trying to leave the site with a cold engine?


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## teemyob (Nov 22, 2005)

Delores said:


> Just for a bit of fun, what whimsical rules would you have?
> 
> After a visit to a gorgeous campsite in Dorset last week I have decided that if I owned a campsite then anyone who is parked in a premium view pisition on the edge of the site MUST at ALL TIMES appreciate the view. If at any time (especailly sunset) they are seen sitting in their van, facing the opposite direction and watching TV then they will be towed to a dark corner of the site where there is no view, thus vacting their space for someone who will appreciate it!


What was the Campsite in Dorset?

If Owned a campsite, everyone (Well Almost) on MHF would get one night free and Discounts for further stays.

TM


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## Delores (Feb 21, 2010)

In answer to your question we were at Highlands End, West Bay (next to Bridport). We're trying a variety of different sites and this one was booked with our ACSI card - paid for itself in one trip!

I don't go to the shower block in my robe but I do go in my PJs and a fleece - I didn't realise streaking there was an option.... 8O


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## Zozzer (Aug 13, 2006)

All smokers would have to carry an ashtray so the they did not contaminate the grass with their *** ash.


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## Rosbotham (May 4, 2008)

Personally, I'd ban all tuggers who turn up at a daft hour. Waiting at the gate at mid-day to nick any decent pitch is bad enough, but I was woken up by someone reversing onto the adjacent pitch (on an otherwise pretty empty site) at 0900 a couple of weeks ago...

I'd like to think I'd close the bogs at a sensible time, rather than exactly when people want to use them as well (why clean them in the morning??)

I'd also ban the CC system of being unable to book a hardstanding as well.

Paul


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## AndrewandShirley (Oct 13, 2007)

If we owned a site we think we would ban everyone.

This means no one would brake the rules, no early arrivals or late stayers, no litter or discarded cigs, no children or noizy adults...just us, the views and a haven of peace.


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## peejay (May 10, 2005)

My ideal stoppover would have no toilet blocks or showers, no hook ups and no booking in procedures, just a nice convenient place to stay for the night with somewhere to service the 'van. 
No pressure from anyone, stay as little or long as you want as long as you adhere to the signs.

Just pitch up, park where you like and wait for someone to come round and collect the fees each day or pay and display a ticket in your windscreen for each day if there is any charge at all.

If that facility didn't exist I'd invent Aires, Sostas or stellplatze :roll:

Bugger, someone's beaten me to it.  

Pete


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## Hezbez (Feb 7, 2009)

I'd ban all those people who leave a halogen heater running 24 hours a day in their (unoccupied) awnings :evil: What a waste of leccy. Saw it happening at several sites over the last couple of weeks.

Oh, and as far as the going to the shower block in your robe is concerned - guilty as charged I'm afraid (is it really such a terrible fashion faux pax?)


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## Rosbotham (May 4, 2008)

Hezbez said:


> Oh, and as far as the going to the shower block in your robe is concerned - guilty as charged I'm afraid (is it really such a terrible fashion faux pax?)


Guess it's better than going _without _your bath-robe.... 
:wink:


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## teemyob (Nov 22, 2005)

*camspites*

I like the Idea of PAYG

For example

20p for showers
5-10 or 15amp EHU Prices

If you have a camping unit and use your own facilities, heated by your own gas. You are paying the same as Mr X Nextdoor who has 3kW of electric on but uses the camp showers.

TM


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## eddievanbitz (May 1, 2005)

I think that all my rules are good :lol: 

BTW Nothing coin operated is any good, as the things get ripped off the wall and nicked, causing more damage than the money inside the thing!

Eddie


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## teemyob (Nov 22, 2005)

*coins*



eddievanbitz said:


> I think that all my rules are good :lol:
> 
> BTW Nothing coin operated is any good, as the things get ripped off the wall and nicked, causing more damage than the money inside the thing!
> 
> Eddie


Ahg yes, never thought of that!

TM


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## Rosbotham (May 4, 2008)

*Re: camspites*



teemyob said:


> I like the Idea of PAYG
> For example 20p for showers
> 
> TM


I hate that idea. Difficult to avoid overseas, but as soon as I see that a site has coin-operated showers over here, it's knocked off our list. It's so penny-pinching, and just creates hassle of whether you've got change / finding yourself with shampoo'd hair and the shower knocking off when you run out of change. Tokens are even worse because you can guarantee the shop'll be closed when you're wanting to buy them. And worst of all are the ones where the coinbox isn't in the cubicle... Push button showers aren't far behind in my hate-list, either.

Paul


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## dinger (Jul 30, 2007)

*camp sites*



peejay said:


> My ideal stoppover would have no toilet blocks or showers, no hook ups and no booking in procedures, just a nice convenient place to stay for the night with somewhere to service the 'van.
> No pressure from anyone, stay as little or long as you want as long as you adhere to the signs.
> 
> Just pitch up, park where you like and wait for someone to come round and collect the fees each day or pay and display a ticket in your windscreen for each day if there is any charge at all.
> ...


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## pomme1 (May 19, 2005)

Hezbez,

This has to be my pet hate, and the imbeciles who leave them running have obviously not realised that they are radiant heaters and that it is, therfore an entirely pointless exercise in an empty awning.


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## steco1958 (Mar 5, 2009)

eddievanbitz said:


> I think that all my rules are good :lol:
> 
> BTW Nothing coin operated is any good, as the things get ripped off the wall and nicked, causing more damage than the money inside the thing!
> 
> Eddie


Jetons

Would possibly reduce this .


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## eddievanbitz (May 1, 2005)

steco1958 said:


> eddievanbitz said:
> 
> 
> > I think that all my rules are good :lol:
> ...


Nope! This time last year two units ripped off the wall of our laundry costing £130 each causing about £200 of damage to nick half a dozen tokens!

Only went to tokens so we could leave the laundry open all night for our customers convenience!

Eddie


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